
"Death Is A Joker - Inner Sanctum" is a classic episode of Old Time Radio Stories, featuring original radio performances and timeless storytelling.
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Robert Langwell
Hey, guys.
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Peter Laurie
Good evening. This is Peter.
Rory
Rory.
Peter Laurie
Would it bore you to hear a tale of tragic murder? Are you unwilling to sit through the telling of a strange and horrible story? The brief narrative of a man caught in a web of evil? Fear not then, my friends, keep right on listening to the Mystery Playhouse. A sense of humor, I've heard it said many times, is of real benefit to him who possesses one. This particular sense has come to be so generally admired that it has attained the stature of a first class virtue. Well, the fellow whom you're about to meet, while hardly falling into the virtuous category, he does have a sense of humor. Things like murder or hate and madness or someone telling him his mother just died practically rolls him in the aisles. He loves a good ghoulish joke. Oh, and he loves to tell them too. He's about to start one now. So follow me, please, to the inner sanctum and your host, Raymond.
Raymond
Good evening, friends of the inner sanctum. Now, come in, won't you? This is your host, Raymond, again disturbing the peace.
Charles Luther
Say, have you ever, ever had the screaming mimis?
Raymond
Did you ever get an attack of the yelling and wailing jitters? You walk in your sleep? You ever wake in the middle of the night shrieking at the top of your lungs?
Peter Laurie
Oh, you do?
Raymond
Well, you must be an awfully hard
Robert Langwell
person to live with.
Raymond
Well, friends, it's time for our story to begin. From this point on, forget everything pleasant. Get a finger ready to chew on, turn the lights down low and listen to Peter Laurie tell you the blood curdling tale. Death is a joker. Come with me to the criminal courts building.
Charles Luther
A tense hush falls upon the spectators as Charles Luther takes the stand. Gentlemen of the jury, I'm accused of murder. I'm an actor, a comedian. Look at my face.
George Galvin
Ugly,
Charles Luther
yes. So ugly that whoever looks at it laughs. I'm not telling you this to win sympathy for myself. I tell you this because it is important to your understanding the strange events that brought me to this courtroom today to plead for my life. Shortly before midnight of November 28, I went to the apartment of my friend Robert Langwell. A famous act in Mat
Police Officer
Char.
Robert Langwell
Well, this is a surprise. Come in, come in.
George Galvin
Thank You.
Robert Langwell
Would you like a drink?
Charles Luther
No, don't bother. I don't want anything.
George Galvin
No.
Robert Langwell
Here, may I take your thing? Oh, excuse me.
Charles Luther
Hello.
Robert Langwell
Oh, George. Yes, I have the money for you. You'll be up when? 20 minutes. Yes. Right. George Galvin. You know him?
Charles Luther
Charles? Yes.
Robert Langwell
Rotten actor. An excellent poker player.
Charles Luther
Sure, I've heard. Robert. Robert, before leaving the theater tonight, someone told me that you and Julie Winthrop are going to be married. Is it true?
Robert Langwell
Yes. We'll be married in two weeks. Right after my wife gets a decree in Reno.
Charles Luther
You must not marry Julie.
Robert Langwell
Not marry Julie? Who are you to tell me what I can do?
Charles Luther
I know Julie well, and I also know you. That's why you must not marry her.
Robert Langwell
Charles, it might be better for you to mind your own business. Julie and I are in love with each other.
Charles Luther
No, you're not. She's fascinated by your good looks. She's impressed by your fame. But she does not love you.
Robert Langwell
Now, look here. We may be old friends, but I've stood all I'm going to
Charles Luther
do.
Robert Langwell
Wait a moment. I get it now. You're in love with her yourself.
Charles Luther
I? I. In love with Julie?
Julie Winthrop
No, we.
Charles Luther
We are just friends.
Robert Langwell
Friends? You're madly in love with her. That's why you came here tonight, isn't it?
Charles Luther
No friends. Stop your laughing.
Robert Langwell
You in love with a girl like Julie.
Charles Luther
Why should my love make you laugh also? You admit it, huh? All right, I do. Why is it so funny? Do you think she'd
George Galvin
Clown?
Robert Langwell
Ugly?
Charles Luther
Clumsy.
Robert Langwell
You in love with Julie, then?
Charles Luther
Why not? Why not? You Stop your laughing. Stop it. Can I?
Robert Langwell
Look at yourself,
Charles Luther
Charles McGovernick.
Police Officer
No.
Charles Luther
You're choking. Let's go. A joke. A joke. Laugh. Go ahead. Laugh. Now laugh. Robert. Robert, I didn't mean it. Robert. Good Lord, what have I done? I rushed out of his apartment trembling. I turned my coat color up to hide my face. The streets were crowded with people coming from the late movies and restaurants. I tried to make myself act naturally, but it was impossible. Everyone I saw, every pair of eyes that looked at me seemed to accuse me of my crime. Waited for the light to change.
Julie Winthrop
Paper, mister? Morning paper. Read about the Reynolds execution.
Charles Luther
Here, let me have one.
Julie Winthrop
There you are.
Charles Luther
I. I didn't know Reynolds was to be executed tonight.
Julie Winthrop
They burned him. Well, he deserved it, murdering his friend like he did. Oh, wait a minute, mister. You forgot your change.
Charles Luther
Never mind. Never mind. I went to my apartment and I looked at the newspaper I bought. There was a photograph of Reynold on the first page. In his face. I Saw my future. The shattered hopes, the torture of the trial. The horrible nerve wracking experience of waiting for death. I flung the paper away. I went to the window. I opened it. I looked down 17 stores to the ground. How tiny people looked. The automobile lights moved like so many fireflies. I climbed out on the edge. I braced my arms, took a deep, deep breath. One last look. I closed my eyes and do them. I hesitated a moment. I decided to answer it. I closed the window, went to the door.
Julie Winthrop
Hello, Charles.
Charles Luther
Jewelry.
Julie Winthrop
Why did you rush away from the theater tonight? I was anxious to talk to you.
Charles Luther
Talk to me about what?
Julie Winthrop
I need your advice, Charles.
Charles Luther
What's wrong?
Julie Winthrop
Well, it's Robert.
Charles Luther
What happened?
Julie Winthrop
Well, nothing happened. It's just that I'm not sure I love him.
Charles Luther
Not sure?
Valerie
Yes.
Julie Winthrop
When I'm with him, everything seems all right. He's handsome and charming. But when I'm alone, I begin to wonder and to doubt.
Charles Luther
Why?
Julie Winthrop
Can't you guess why?
Charles Luther
Yes. You. You left someone else?
Julie Winthrop
Yes.
Charles Luther
Well, who is it?
Julie Winthrop
You.
George Galvin
Me?
Julie Winthrop
Yes. That's what I came here to tell you. That's why I don't want to marry him. As I would have told you before, but I was so afraid of making a fool of myself. You didn't seem to care.
Charles Luther
I didn't care? Julie, this is crazy. I loved you from the moment I saw you.
Julie Winthrop
You loved me?
Charles Luther
Yes.
Julie Winthrop
But, darling, why didn't you tell me?
Charles Luther
I tell you. How could I?
Julie Winthrop
You.
Charles Luther
You are so young. You're so beautiful and I. Look at me. Ugly, clumsy. How could I speak to you?
Julie Winthrop
How you look means nothing to me.
Charles Luther
Nothing.
Julie Winthrop
Of course not, darling. How lucky we are. We found out in time.
Charles Luther
In time? In time. Oh, merciful heavens. What a joke. What a joke.
Julie Winthrop
Charles, what's wrong? What a Tears streaming down your face. Charles, you're hysterical. Now, stop it.
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Stop it.
Charles Luther
Julia, there's something you must know.
Julie Winthrop
Yes?
Charles Luther
D. Tonight I committed a murder.
Julie Winthrop
Murder? What are you talking about?
Charles Luther
I killed Robert.
Julie Winthrop
Killed Rob. Out of your mind. You don't know what you're saying.
Charles Luther
It is true. I went to his apartment and we quarreled. And I killed him.
Julie Winthrop
Oh, no.
Charles Luther
You told me a moment ago that you loved me. Do you still love me?
Julie Winthrop
Yes, Charles.
Charles Luther
Then tell me what to do. Julie, help me. I can't think. I don't know where to turn. But what can I do, Julie? What can I do?
Julie Winthrop
Pull yourself together, Charles. This may not be as hopeless as you think. Why was Robert alone in the apartment when you called?
George Galvin
Yes.
Julie Winthrop
Were you seen entering or leaving?
Charles Luther
No. Are you sure? Yes. His apartment is on the second floor. I. I walked up and down.
Julie Winthrop
What time did you get there?
Charles Luther
Shortly before midnight.
Julie Winthrop
And what did you do before that?
Charles Luther
Went to a movie.
Julie Winthrop
Movie? How long did you stay there?
Charles Luther
Oh, only about 20 minutes.
Julie Winthrop
Do you have the ticket job?
Charles Luther
Yes. Here it is.
Julie Winthrop
Charles, do you realize what this means? They may never find out about you.
Charles Luther
They will find out.
Julie Winthrop
That's right. They won't suspect you since they can't know your motive. No one saw you enter or leave. And you have an excellent alibi.
Charles Luther
Motive? Brad. Julie, do you realize what we are doing? We are talking of this as if we planned this crime. As though we were criminals. But I committed a crime. Yes, but I'm no criminal. I didn't mean to do it.
Julie Winthrop
I know, darling. I know. Jim, think of your own life now. And mine.
Charles Luther
Yes, Julia. Oh, I see what you mean. I'm not a criminal. But I must play the role of a criminal now. A subtler, clever criminal who is cunning enough to escape punishment. Can I do it? Can I do it, Shirley?
Julie Winthrop
Charles, if you mean we must find out how much the police know. If it's hopeless and they have found out about you, then it would be best to give yourself up. But let's not make any decisions until we know.
Charles Luther
How can we know?
Julie Winthrop
Did Robert expect anyone tonight?
Charles Luther
Yes. George Galvin phoned. Brown was there. He said he'd be up in about 20 minutes.
Julie Winthrop
Then the body must have been discovered by now.
Charles Luther
Yes, I'm sure. The police must be there by this time.
Julie Winthrop
I think that I'll go to Robert's apartment.
Charles Luther
No, Julie. No, no. I. I didn't want you to become involved.
Julie Winthrop
I'm already involved. Weren't for me, this horrible thing would never have happened. The least I can do is to help you now.
Charles Luther
Julia.
Julie Winthrop
Promise. Promise me you'll not leave this apartment.
Charles Luther
Charles. All right.
Julie Winthrop
I won't be long.
Charles Luther
Julie, if something happens. If something goes wrong and we're separated before you return, I want you to know that. I don't know how to say. Julie.
Julie Winthrop
You don't have to say it, darling. I know what you mean. Goodbye.
Charles Luther
Goodbye. A criminal. I have to think like one. To act like one has to be one. What question would they ask?
Police Officer
Where were you at 12 o' clock midnight of November 28th?
Charles Luther
I was in a movie. And he is the stump. Oh, no, no. They.
Peter Laurie
They can see immediately that I'm lying.
Charles Luther
My voice must not tremble. I. I shouldn't be so quick with the answer.
Police Officer
Marry you at 12 midnight of November 28th.
Charles Luther
Where was I? Let me see. Well, I. I left the theater and I went to a movie. It was a very amusing picture. Very amusing.
Police Officer
Can you prove what you say?
Charles Luther
Prove? Well, I don't know. It'd be difficult. One may have to take it stuff somewhere. Yes, Here.
Peter Laurie
Now.
Charles Luther
Let me show it to you.
Peter Laurie
Here it is.
Police Officer
Did you ever quarrel with Robert Langwell?
Charles Luther
Quarrel with? We were friends. We played in many shows together. We were on the Ch.
Julie Winthrop
Ch. Ch.
Peter Laurie
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Charles Luther
Best of terms.
Police Officer
That's all, Mr. Luther. You may leave now.
Charles Luther
Yes, I can plead. It is possible I can escape punishment. Police. Can it be the police? Or maybe just Julie?
Robert Langwell
Good evening, Charles.
Charles Luther
George Gallon.
Robert Langwell
I know it's rather late for an unexpected visit.
Charles Luther
Yes, it is.
Robert Langwell
But this is important, Charles. A matter of life and death, you might say.
Charles Luther
What do you mean? Have you a cigarette? Yes. Here.
Robert Langwell
Thanks. What's the matter, Charles? Your hand's trembling.
Charles Luther
It's nothing.
Robert Langwell
You don't seem to be your usual self this evening. No quips, no jokes.
Charles Luther
What's wrong? I don't always feel like joking. Yes, Charles.
Robert Langwell
It's strange about human nature, isn't it? Who would have ever dreamed that tonight, a few minutes before midnight, you entered Robert Langwald's apartment, quarreled with him over Julie and choked him to death?
Charles Luther
What are you talking about?
Robert Langwell
You're an excellent actor, Charles, but you're wasting your talents on me. Save them for the footlights or the police.
Peter Laurie
Police.
Charles Luther
Will you please tell me what all this is about?
Robert Langwell
Still acting? Now look, Charles. You killed Robert shortly before midnight tonight.
Charles Luther
You are mistaken. I was in a movie at that time.
Robert Langwell
So that's your alibi. Very clever. No, Charles. Either we discuss terms now or I go to the police.
Charles Luther
Wait. How did you find out?
Robert Langwell
That is my secret.
Charles Luther
What do you want?
George Galvin
Money.
Robert Langwell
All you have on hand. All you can dig up.
Charles Luther
All right. Come with me. I. I have some money in the bedroom.
Robert Langwell
All right. Just a moment.
Charles Luther
What is the business why?
Robert Langwell
I'm taking no chances.
George Galvin
Is.
Robert Langwell
Let's go.
Charles Luther
Okay.
Robert Langwell
Well, where's the money, child? Stand back or I'll fire. Stand back. Let go of my head.
Charles Luther
Let go. I'll twist it. I'll twist it till that gun points to your head.
Robert Langwell
Let go of my hand.
Charles Luther
You don't know what you're doing. Come on. Come on.
Julie Winthrop
I am.
Charles Luther
The bullet will enter your brain. Fire, Charles. Fire.
Robert Langwell
Charles, don't.
Charles Luther
I'll make you fire.
Julie Winthrop
I'll squeeze your finger.
Robert Langwell
Charles, let go.
Charles Luther
Come on. This is all a joke.
Julie Winthrop
I'll make you.
Doctor Paul Wade
Stop it.
Charles Luther
Just a second. Just a second.
Julie Winthrop
Charles.
Valerie
Darling.
Julie Winthrop
Darling, there's nothing more to worry about. Everything's all right now. We can be married and go on living and never fear anything.
Charles Luther
What makes you see that?
Julie Winthrop
Darling, you didn't commit a crime at all.
Charles Luther
What do you mean?
Julie Winthrop
Robert's alive.
George Galvin
Alive?
Julie Winthrop
Yes. He's downstairs now, paying the taxi.
Charles Luther
Robert?
Peter Laurie
Is that alive?
Julie Winthrop
Yes. I spoke to him about the marriage and he was wonderful about the whole thing. Darling, aren't you happy? Her worries are all over. You can smile and be gay. That must be Robert now.
Charles Luther
Hello, Charles. Robert, I thought you were.
Robert Langwell
Well, I'm not.
Charles Luther
But how did you see.
Robert Langwell
I fainted. George Galvin came in and brought me to.
Charles Luther
George Galvin? Did you tell George Galvin what happened? Yes, I did.
Robert Langwell
Look here, Charles. As I told Julie, I'm willing to forget the whole thing if you are.
Charles Luther
Forget? Forget?
George Galvin
Yes.
Robert Langwell
It might have ended tragically, you know. But thinking it over, I realized I'm as much to blame as you are. Salty Wellington.
Charles Luther
Shake hands. Shake hands, dear.
Julie Winthrop
Now, darling, there's nothing more to worry about. I feel so happy I could. Charles, what's the matter with you?
Charles Luther
It's. It's nothing. It's nothing.
Julie Winthrop
It's nothing.
Charles Luther
Gentlemen of the jury, I became a criminal because I thought I had committed a crime. And I had to think like a criminal. My motives were those of all men. I wanted happiness. And when in marriage to the woman I loved. What would you have done in my place?
Peter Laurie
And I still think I know that guy.
Charles Luther
I wish I could place him.
Peter Laurie
Well, it must be wonderful to have a sense of humor. But I don't think Charlie feels much like laughing, do you? We'll pay a return visit to the inner sanctum and its fun loving host, Raymond, soon. But don't go, please. Not until we drop in at the green room where the players are rehearsing our next performance in a mystery playhouse. Come with me, please.
Charles Luther
Come, come.
George Galvin
Change the dressings at midnight. And again in the morning. Nurse.
Valerie
Yes, Doctor.
Rory
Well, Doctor, what did you find? Will I be blind? Is it very bad?
George Galvin
Now, now, take it easy, Mr. Denton. There's nothing to worry about. Nothing at all.
Rory
You. You're sure you aren't just saying that?
George Galvin
I'm quite sure.
Rory
Valerie. Valerie, did you hear that? I. I'm not going to be blind.
Charles Luther
Valerie. Valerie, where are you?
Valerie
Right here, darling.
Rory
Did you hear? I won't be blind. Isn't that wonderful?
Valerie
Yes, darling, it's marvelous.
Rory
You. You don't sound very excited. Valerie. Don't you realize I'm going to see again?
George Galvin
She doesn't sound excited. Because I don't want you to be excited, Mr. Denton. You've got to relax. Try to sleep.
Rory
Sleep? With this ungodly pain? My eyes feel as though they were on fire.
George Galvin
That will stop as soon as the opiate I gave you takes hold. You'll be comfortable, I'm sure. Now, good night.
Valerie
You're going now, darling?
George Galvin
Yes. I'll. I'll look in on. On your husband in the morning.
Valerie
Stephen?
Charles Luther
Yes, Valerie?
Valerie
Do you mind if I step out into the corridor for a moment?
Rory
But you. You promise not to leave me? I. I'm afraid, Valerie. Everything's so dark.
Peter Laurie
I.
Valerie
The nurse will be here, dear, if you want anything. I just want to ask Dr. Wade some questions.
Rory
Questions? But he's already told us to do.
Valerie
Yes, Stephen, I know, but I'd like to find out about the treatment and how I'm to take care of you when we get you home. You know, just little things.
Rory
All right, but hurry back. I. I want you near me.
Valerie
I will, dear.
George Galvin
Good night, Mr. Denton.
Rory
Good night, Doctor. And thank you.
George Galvin
You're quite welcome. After you, Mrs. Denton.
Valerie
Thank you.
George Galvin
I suggest we step into the consultation room across the hall. We'll have more privacy.
Valerie
All right.
George Galvin
Here we are.
Valerie
Thank you.
George Galvin
Well, it's been a long time. Time, Valerie.
Valerie
Yes, Paul, it has.
George Galvin
Almost 10 years. Isn't it about that. Strange that you should have called me of all people, to treat your husband's eyes.
Valerie
I was panicky, Paul. I didn't know what to do. It all happened so suddenly. Stephen was working in his laboratory at the house when suddenly I heard a violent explosion. I ran in and found him clutching his eyes and screaming. I'm blind. First thing I thought of was an ambulance. Then you.
George Galvin
Why didn't you think of me 10 years ago?
Valerie
That's not fair, Paul.
George Galvin
Was it fair to turn your back on me and then to marry a man almost twice your age?
Valerie
Paul, please.
George Galvin
Why bring up Ancient history isn't ancient history to me. I've never forgotten you.
Valerie
Paul. About Stephen's eyes.
George Galvin
What about them?
Valerie
I have a feeling that you weren't telling him the truth.
George Galvin
You're right.
Valerie
Oh, you mean he's not going to regain his sight? He's going to be blind, Paul.
George Galvin
You don't expect me to be to be terribly concerned, do you, Valerie? After all, he did take you away from me.
Valerie
Don't be vindictive, Paul. It wasn't Stephen's fault. He didn't even know of your existence.
George Galvin
And you never told him that we were on the point of being married?
Valerie
No, never.
George Galvin
It's rather ironic that we should meet again at the bedside of my rival. Your husband. A man who may forever walk in darkness.
Valerie
Don't say that, Paul.
George Galvin
It's horrible, but unfortunately true. A moment ago you told me not to be vindictive. I'm not really. But if I were, I could have my fill of vengeance. If I told him about us and then told him that, he'll be blind forever. You wouldn't, Pa. Or I might take another form of revenge. I could tell you that an operation is called for.
Charles Luther
A very delicate operation.
Valerie
Are you trying to say that there might be a chance?
George Galvin
Yes, but supposing I refuse to perform the operation?
Valerie
Paul, you're joking. You can't mean that.
George Galvin
Perhaps not, but you call me vindictive. Suppose I operate and my scalpel slips. What if he dies?
Valerie
That would be murder. You're not a murderer, Paul. You wouldn't risk your professional reputation. Why must you torment me this way?
George Galvin
You really love him, don't you?
Valerie
Yes, I do.
George Galvin
Then forget the things that I've been saying. I want you to think of me as a friend. I want you to trust me.
Valerie
I do trust you, Paul.
Charles Luther
Thank you.
George Galvin
Now, as to the possibility of surgery, here is the situation. The transparent film over your husband's eye. The corneas were burned and torn. With the explosion. They've been so damaged, the blindness will result even though the eyes heal.
Valerie
But you think an operation would cure that?
George Galvin
Possibly. Although it's a very delicate job. The injured cornea must be peeled away and replaced by a fresh, healthy one.
Valerie
Where can you get healthy corneas?
George Galvin
From the eyes of the dead. It isn't quite as horrible as it sounds, Valerie. You know, dying people often will their eyes for just this purpose. We maintain what we call a corneal bank. It's much the same as a blood bank, only.
Charles Luther
But there's this difference.
George Galvin
Corneal tissue can't be stored more than 48 hours. It must be fresh or it's no good.
Valerie
You have some available in the bank?
George Galvin
No, that's the trouble. I'm afraid we haven't.
Valerie
But there's got to be some.
Julie Winthrop
Paul.
Peter Laurie
I don't know where.
George Galvin
Valerie. Unless.
Valerie
Unless what?
George Galvin
I was just thinking. Last night, one of the interns asked me to look at a charity case that puzzled him. The patient is a Hindu or a Persian named Chandra. He lives in a debtor little shack near the waterfront.
Valerie
Yes, Paul.
George Galvin
I stopped by and examined him. I found him in incurable condition. There's no way to save him. He won't live more than a day or two. But his eyes are healthy.
Valerie
You mean you think he might.
George Galvin
I don't know. You have to have his consent. Of course.
Valerie
Take me to him, Paul. I'm sure I can make him understand.
George Galvin
Oh, it may not be so easy, Valerie. He's a strange person. A mystic and a spiritualist.
Valerie
Let me try. Just take me to him.
George Galvin
All right. We can go there now.
Peter Laurie
Doesn't the doctor sound familiar to you?
Charles Luther
Huh? That's right.
Peter Laurie
It's Boris Karloff up to his old tricks. I think it might amuse you to be on hand for our next performance when we present Mr. Karloff and creeps By Night. This is Peter Laurie closing the doors of the Mystery Playhouse. Good night. Sleep tight.
Raymond
This is the army forces radio service.
Doctor Paul Wade
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This episode revives the vintage radio drama Inner Sanctum with the suspenseful story “Death Is A Joker.” Blending elements of classic stage melodrama, dark humor, and psychological tension, the episode delivers a tale of murder, mistaken guilt, and redemption. The host and cast guide listeners through a chilling narrative of a comedian who, embroiled in love and jealousy, believes himself to be a murderer, only to face a twist of fate and character in true Inner Sanctum fashion.
[00:24] Peter Laurie (Narrator): Mocks the obsession with a “sense of humor,” hinting that the story’s protagonist laughs at the macabre.
[02:15] Raymond (Host): Escalates the suspense, drawing the audience into a world where every comfort must be forgotten for a tale of horror.
[08:53] Julie Winthrop visits Charles, admitting she truly loves him.
Charles confesses to murder; Julie helps him consider how he could evade suspicion, focusing on his alibi and whether police can tie him to the crime.
In keeping with classic radio melodrama, the episode delivers existential suspense intertwined with sardonic wit, grim humor, and emotional vulnerability. The dialogue crackles—by turns campy, ironic, and poignant—preserving the atmosphere of “old time radio” while still resonating today.
Fans of classic radio, vintage mysteries, and psychological suspense will find much to enjoy—especially those who appreciate the narrative currency of irony, character-driven storytelling, and tales where darkness and laughter walk hand in hand.
For further classic radio drama episodes and archives, visit OldTimeRetroRadio.com.