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Smiley Burnett
The sun shining, birds are singing, and
Narrator/Announcer
all feels right in the world. Until the season changes and suddenly you lose your motivation to get out of bed. In fact, one in five people experience some form of depression, no matter the season or time of year. At the American Psychiatric association foundation, our
Smiley Burnett
vision is to build a mentally healthy nation for all. Because we want you to live your
Narrator/Announcer
best life and be your best you all year round. Please visit mentallyhealthynation.org to learn more.
Andrew Rines
Welcome to the old time radio Westerns. I'm your host, Andrew Rines, and let's get into this episode. This episode is going to be All Star Western Theater. Original Air date is June 7, 1947 and the title is Sleepy Weed and Smiley. With Smiley Burnett in one of the lead roles,
Narrator/Announcer
the Bakers of Weber's Bread present your all star Western theater. From Hollywood comes your all star theater, starring America's great western singers, Boy Willing and the riders of the purple stage. And with them is their special guest is the West's own clown of song and story, Smiley Burnett. And now, here are the riders of the purple page.
Squinty
And a cowboy had to yell or his heart would break inside a pimble at the beginning of the home.
Al
When each new day is born I
Squinty
go riding the wide open plains I roam Till the sun in the hills goes hiding so bad when I get home. We go for a cowboy has to sing and a cowboy has to yell or his heart would break inside of him at the gate of the home. Or his heart would break inside of him at the gate of the home forest.
Clyde
Thank you, folks.
Al
Last night the boys and I were talking about song and somebody brought up an idea that makes rather a pretty picture. You know, old Mark Twain visited the early west and we got to imagining him out around the Virginia city or gold hill mining camp. It would be at night and Mark would stop to listen to a voice coming from the darkness. A lonely miner singing half for his own pleasure and half with an unspoken prayer that his words were reaching the heart of a loved one far away. And we thought if such a thing could have happened, the song might very well be one that's a favorite even now. Molly darling
Squinty
oh, you tell me Molly darling let you love none else but
Andrew Rines
me
Squinty
for I love you, Molly God, you are all the world to me. You will give me night. Of darling, tell me this. You love me mommy.
Smiley Burnett
Let your.
Squinty
King.
Narrator/Announcer
Much credit for taming the west belongs to a fearless group of men known as the Texas Rangers. A ranger was chosen for his raw courage, ability to draw and shoot Fast and his sincere desire to uphold law and order. And he had to be pretty versatile. Too many strange situations were encountered in patrolling the border. Sometimes a ranger would find it necessary to lend aid to a sick rancher. Or set some unfortunate cowpoke's broken leg. Or help round up a stampeding herd. In other words, a Texas Ranger had to be an all purpose pan ready for anything. And today, Weber's Bread is the all purpose bread, playing an important and enjoyable part on every menu for breakfast, lunch or dinner.
Al
And in between snacks.
Narrator/Announcer
Good Weber's Bread really hits the spot. Serve Weber's Bread often. You can be sure every member of the family will like it. Look for it in the blue gingham wrapper. Every man, I guess, has his own ideas on what makes a woman attractive. But there was one gal who came to town and stirred up considerable excitement among all the men. The riders of the Purple Sage included. They'll tell you about her now with red silk stockings and green perfume
Squinty
Here's a story of a roaring mining town and a gal who really knew her way around they still talk of that event on the way he came and went he took that town and turned it upside down With a red silk pocket and a green perfume she flew into this man's town With a silver boom Never was any trouble but she started some zoo With a red silk stocket and a green perfume all the
Smiley Burnett
town was growing and the money was
Squinty
flown and the boys were throwing it around for the red silk stockings and the greens were few Singing a love song in a gambling hole when along came a stranger he was handsome and tall he won every last dollar that we had in the room and the red. So she promised to meet me by the silvery moon she was meeting that
Al
stranger
Squinty
all she left was a memory of a honky tom too and a red silk sockiness
Smiley Burnett
oh, the town was growing and the money was flowing and
Clyde
the boys were throwing it around for
Squinty
the red silk stockings and the green perfume for the red silk stockings and the green perfume.
Narrator/Announcer
If we seem to be strutting a stuff a little more than usual today, it's because we're a little more proud than usual. You see, the writers of the Purple Sage have as their guest one of the finest and best loved comedians in the motion picture world. A comedian who's tickled the funny bone of Western fans throughout the world. I guess you know who I'm talking about, Mr. Smiley Burnett.
Smiley Burnett
Well, howdy doodle, everybody.
Narrator/Announcer
And to celebrate the occasion, Smiley and the riders of the Purple Sage are going to tell you a very special story. It's called Sleepy Weed and Smiley. The Riders of the Purple Sage, like all carefree vagabonds, are an exclusive group. They consider as members only those believing in the open range and the blue sky. Only those who love high adventure and good fun. No, it isn't everyone who has the qualifications that will enable him to join this exclusive group. Although there are a great many who try to get in.
Al
Wait a minute, boys. Hold your horses.
Clyde
Something wrong for us?
Al
Yeah, we've got one more rider with us now than we had when we started. We got.
Squinty
What?
Clyde
You mean somebody sneaked in, stowed away?
Al
That's exactly what I mean. Somebody has sneaked in, stowed away and is riding right along with us and not even ask about your leave. I know who he is. And if he doesn't speak up, I'm coming over after him.
Smiley Burnett
Well, howdy doodle, everybody.
Al
Why, Smiley Burnett.
Clyde
You ought to be ashamed, Smiley.
Squinty
Stowing away steal.
Al
Let me handle this.
Squinty
Boy.
Al
Smiley, what are you doing here?
Squinty
Huh?
Smiley Burnett
Oh, I was a going that away when I see you feller, so I. You were what? I was going that away there.
Squinty
Well, he's acting like he ain't got
Clyde
good sense for it.
Squinty
What does he mean going that away?
Al
Some kind of a foreign language, I guess.
Smiley Burnett
Why ain't another? That's the way all us Western fellers always talk. I know we do, cuz I've heard
Clyde
us say such things in the moon pictures.
Al
Smiley, we don't mind if you ride with us. But just remember, no funny business this time.
Smiley Burnett
I got you, partner.
Clyde
I got you, you. I got you, partner.
Squinty
I got you.
Smiley Burnett
Which way was you going?
Squinty
Well, not that way anyhow.
Al
We're heading for the 3 Bar H Ranch to bed down for the night. And in the morning we're riding for the flat. There's a little business we want to
Narrator/Announcer
take care of up there.
Smiley Burnett
Well, again, Lukewarm Lily. She cooked me up some flapjacks and
Clyde
some bacon, which I ate until I
Smiley Burnett
couldn't reach the table. Oh, and some coffee too. Lukewarm. Lily made five or six pots of coffee.
Clyde
Boy. Boy, will you give me leave to hit that homie over the head with
Al
a stick or something?
Clyde
How's anybody gonna get any sleep around here?
Al
Miley, we're all bedded down for the night. How about shutting off the gal?
Smiley Burnett
Oh, I'll be glad to. I know how that is to have somebody talk, talk, talk when you're tired. Top hand of the circle over where I worked once was a gabber and he popped the door right off the barn one night. His name was Lion Lyle and he could tell more fibs than any old boy himself.
Al
He started all over again.
Smiley Burnett
Seen him talk the door right off the barn once. And if you're the least ways interested, I can tell you no exactly how he done it.
Al
Never mind, boys. The gab can't last much longer.
Smiley Burnett
Oh, Lion Lyle was inside the barn, see where Pulsating Pete and Seven Toes Sam and me was trying to catch a little net.
Al
Al Johnny. I put a good help in a Sleepy Weed and Smiley's coffee when he was having chow tonight. I knew he'd talk all night if I didn't. So it's now.
Smiley Burnett
Excuse me for. You interrupted what I was.
Narrator/Announcer
Sleepy Weed.
Smiley Burnett
Who put Sleepy Weed in whose coffee?
Al
Why put it in yours, Smiley, We've had experience with you before.
Smiley Burnett
No, you didn't do that now.
Al
Well, I had to do something. None of us would have gotten any rest.
Smiley Burnett
But Sleepy Weed gives me bad dreams, Terrible dreams. Why, I keep everybody awake for miles around when anybody puts Sleepy Weed in my coffee.
Clyde
This is it, Squinty. Somebody better down over there, Clyde Boy Willing in this outfit, I'll bet. I don't like that at all.
Smiley Burnett
Me either.
Clyde
But there's nothing much we can do about it. We gotta work here. This is the oil well old bascom's been sinking 400 yards due south of the ranch house like Charlie told us. That Boy Willing is a mean hombre. Yeah, I heard he is. Whenever he finds a fella doing something illegal, he butts right into that fellow's business. Tries to get some of it from shelf.
Squinty
No, no.
Clyde
Words take fellas straight to sheriff. Murderers, rustlers, horses. Why, everybody. Well, sounds mean, all right. Lucky we aren't doing nothing but trying to get this ranch away from the old man and his daughter. Charlie said we mustn't even do that. Unless this turns out to be helium coming from the oil well instead of ordinary gas. And we can't tell for sure until after we fill up the balloon and test it. Maybe Foy Willing and his outfit will be gone by that time. Well, Charlie, she'll give us a big enough balloon to fill almost as applining. Help me get the nozzle over the pipe. Hope Boy Willing don't catch it at this. How's that look? Balloon fast and tight enough? Yeah, I guess so. That Boy Willing is a mean hombre. Well, stand back now while I turn the spigot. Where's the line? Yeah, here it is. Fill up the balloon. And get out of here. There's his turn. Yes, something. Anyhow, we'll fill the balloon up good and tight and take her back to Charlie. And let Charlie decide whether it's real helium or not.
Al
Miley.
Smiley Burnett
Smiley Gringo, will you please be quiet?
Clyde
Oh, this is awful. Boy, how can anybody sleep?
Al
Oh, it's my fault, I guess. He said he gets bad dreams whenever anybody puts sleepy weed in his coffee. I sure hope the sleepy weed wears off quicker. We're sure going to put us in a night.
Clyde
Better turn her off now, Clyde.
Squinty
Yeah.
Clyde
Got about as much as the balloon will hold.
Smiley Burnett
There he gets off.
Clyde
Balloon's almost too full. I think I would let some out. No, no, we can hold her, Clyde. You and me done all the work connected with this thing. Charlie didn't do any. Yeah, I had the same thing in mind, Squinty. Why should a fellow who doesn't work get any of the gravy? You satisfied? This is really helium.
Squinty
Heel up.
Narrator/Announcer
Yep.
Clyde
Then he shouldn't get any of the profits. No, sir, not a penny. Why don't we wait until morning and take over this ranch for ourselves? What about those fellas there? Boy Willing. That Boy Willing's a mean Aubrey. Squinty, you see a big foot sticking out from under the blankets? You feel how hard this balloon is tugging? Yep. Well, why don't we let it tug at that foot? Probably tug so hard and carry Foy Willing right on up. You know, Clyde, I like you. You got brains. Hey, come on, Foy Willing will be up over the North Pole before the gas is out of this balloon. Where's a piece of rope so we
Narrator/Announcer
can start t.
Clyde
Biggest foot I ever
Smiley Burnett
seen in my life.
Clyde
Looks like a fat ironing board.
Smiley Burnett
Hey, that's my foot.
Clyde
Better hurry it up, Clyde.
Smiley Burnett
Hey, that's my foot not pulling something off.
Clyde
I'm holding down as hard as I can. Got my legs wrapped around this bowl or two.
Smiley Burnett
You hombres are making a terrible mistake.
Clyde
Fellow with feet like this ought to
Smiley Burnett
be able to walk right on the water. Stop, I tell you.
Clyde
Certainly wouldn't have no trouble crossing quickly. All right, all right. Nice tide. Now, when I count three, let loose the balloon.
Smiley Burnett
One, two, three, let loose.
Al
Nothing happened.
Clyde
What? I just dozed off this minute. Now, you wake me up here.
Al
I heard it sound like somebody was being dragged across the ground and. Hey, Smiley's gone.
Smiley Burnett
Where?
Al
Well, that must have been the noise. I heard Cougar dragging him off maybe, huh? Smiley. Smiley, where are you? Listen,
Smiley Burnett
where are you? Smiley, look this way.
Al
Oh, why do things like this always have to happen at night? Can't see a thing, Smiley.
Smiley Burnett
You're looking that away. But I'm this away.
Al
But where?
Smiley Burnett
In the tree, boy. Up. Way up here in the top of the tree.
Al
Al, do you and Johnny see anything?
Smiley Burnett
What are you doing up in the tree at this hour? Well, come up here and get me, Quinn.
Clyde
Be quiet, Al.
Smiley Burnett
What you say, Smiley? I'm hanging on to the top of a tree. But you gotta hurry. If Augusta wind happens to blow, it'll carry me clear up to the clouds.
Narrator/Announcer
Clouds?
Clyde
Boy, that wasn't sleepy weed you put in your coffee. It was loco weed.
Smiley Burnett
Look, there he is. See? Against the sky? Balloon is attached to him. Yes.
Al
Marley, what are you doing up there
Smiley Burnett
attached to a balloon?
Al
Hold on, Smarley. I'll climb up and cut the rope loose.
Smiley Burnett
Well, hurry, Foy. We gotta get those fellers who are trying to take old man Bascom's ranch away from him.
Squinty
Look out.
Smiley Burnett
The wind's hit me. There he goes.
Al
The wind tore him loose.
Smiley Burnett
He's going out. Oh, what am I gonna do? I'm floating his face.
Al
Hey, Foil, shoot him down, huh?
Smiley Burnett
No, I'm hungry. I ain't had a thing since supper last night and the sun's starting to come up now.
Clyde
Oh, you better let me shoot him down.
Al
No, the balloon might blow up and Smiley don't bounce.
Smiley Burnett
Go ahead, Al. Shoot him down anyway.
Clyde
We need sleep.
Smiley Burnett
Hey, I got a bird's eye view of everything up here. Winnie and Clyde are at the ranch house, and old man Bascom just let him in. Hey, Fly, why don't you go over at the ranch house and put the old man wise to what Clyde and Squinty are doing?
Al
I can't leave you up there, Smiley.
Smiley Burnett
You can't get me down either. Maybe if you save these rats, they'd give you some grub. Could you shoot me up some anything? Dog biscuits and a shotgun. Boy, I'm hungry.
Al
Smiley. Smiley's right, Al. We can't get him down, and the old man is liable to sell the ranch.
Smiley Burnett
Boy. Hey, get a pie if you can. That's what I crave the most. I want to sit up here on a cloud and eat pie.
Al
Come on, al, quick.
Smiley Burnett
Yeah, Mr. Bascom.
Clyde
Boy, Willie. How'd he get down out of the balloon? I see them go, but my own eyes.
Al
I understand these men are after your ranch, Mr. Bascom.
Smiley Burnett
Wanna buy it.
Narrator/Announcer
Offered me a fair price.
Clyde
Told your Foy willing butts into all kinds of illegal business. Clyde don't see any Reason not to sell you.
Al
Yes, I do. You were disappointed because you hadn't struck oil. But you've got something better than oil on your property.
Smiley Burnett
Gold.
Al
Helium. One of the rarest gases known. And one of the most useful. Willing.
Clyde
I ain't gonna let you get away with this. Me neither. I don't care how mean you are.
Al
Take that ombre to the left, Al, and I'll get the big fella. All right, get going down the road and don't loiter on the way. If we catch you loitering, we'll send out some lead to hurry along.
Clyde
You'll be sorry for this, Willing, and so will your friend up there. He was the one who told you about us. I know he did.
Al
You're wasting your time. Get going.
Clyde
Always said that Boy Willing was a mean armory.
Smiley Burnett
You remember?
Squinty
Classic.
Smiley Burnett
I don't know how to thank you boys.
Al
We can't stop for thanks right now, Mr. Bascom. Only about half of our troubles are settled.
Narrator/Announcer
What's that?
Squinty
Shoot.
Al
Johnny must be trying to shoot him down. Come on, before Smiley gets killed.
Smiley Burnett
Johnny, what were those shots? And I said you could shoot again, Johnny.
Clyde
I was out to the milk house boy, and got some food. Smiley said he was hungry.
Smiley Burnett
All I'm asking is that you try to shoot again, Johnny.
Clyde
He said the reason he keeps going higher all the time is because he's losing weight from hunger. What was you doing, though?
Smiley Burnett
Shooting food up to him?
Clyde
I shot all six cartridges in my six shooter and he wants me to shoot more.
Al
Molly, what's the matter with you? There's only six shots in a six shooter.
Smiley Burnett
Oh, there's more than that. There's 18 or 20. I've seen him shoot 50 or 100 out of a six shooter in a moving picture lots of times. Hey, going up again. Oh, I've lost more weight. I've lost so much weight. I'll probably keep going forever. Now. Help me. Golly, I'm up so high, nobody can even hear me anymore. Blame cold up here, too. Shooting.
Clyde
Don't shoot.
Smiley Burnett
I ain't no pigeon. Boy, that one was close. They're trying to kill me. It's those two, Clyde and Squiddy. They're trying to kill me.
Squinty
Oh.
Smiley Burnett
Oh, that did it. They got me. I'm falling. Here he comes.
Clyde
Grab him. I got him. We'll teach you to grab everything. You know to hit him, Clyde.
Smiley Burnett
You hold him, and I'll hit him. And I'll hold him and you hit him.
Al
Al. Al, grab that arm. Wake up, Smiley.
Clyde
Slap him again, for he's still asleep.
Smiley Burnett
Slap him again. Let me do that.
Clyde
I can slap fine, Johnny.
Al
Sit on his feet.
Clyde
Hey, the guy's loco.
Al
Smiley. Smiley, wake up.
Clyde
One of us could get a hand
Al
free to slap his face. Smiley. Smiley, come out of it.
Squinty
Oh.
Smiley Burnett
Oh, I'm saved. Somebody saved me.
Al
What's the matter with you?
Smiley Burnett
Who saved me? I'll give him $1,000 reward.
Al
Trouble of you, you've been having a
Clyde
nightmare and giving everybody else one.
Smiley Burnett
Where's those villains that Clyde the balloon? Well, good morning, boy.
Al
Good morning, he says. After all this, I guess I must
Smiley Burnett
have had a bad dream, huh?
Al
Well, I don't suppose there's any use trying to sleep now. We may as well fetch some cow and start riding.
Smiley Burnett
Well, that suits me just fine. I'm kind of hungry at that after breakfast. Which way you heading?
Squinty
Why?
Al
We've been thinking of going to.
Smiley Burnett
Oh. Myself, I kind of undecided. But you know, I think. I think I'll go. That a way?
Squinty
No, no. What is it?
Smiley Burnett
I'll go this way. Maybe you suppose that way it'd be better.
Narrator/Announcer
Running a cattle ranch is a big job. But in the early days of the west, when all rangeland was unfenced, it was an even tougher job. The ranch owner had to depend in the most part on the skill and experience of his foreman and cow punchers to get the beef to market in prime condition. Today, it's the skill and experience of the bakers of good Weber's Bread that gets Weber's Bread to you. Fresh, tasty and in good condition. Weber's bread is always good bread, always well mixed and well baked with a proper moisture content, smooth, even texture and distinctive flavor. Weber's Bread is the good bread in the blue gingham wrapper as toast for breakfast with your favorite sandwich filling or served with elaborate meals. You can always count on good Weber's Bread to please the entire family. Buy good Weber's Bread. You'll like it.
Al
Molly, I want to thank you for appearing with us today. Every time you come to see us is more enjoyable than the time before.
Smiley Burnett
Well, thank you for it. And I can't leave without returning the compliment. I just want to say.
Al
Just a minute. You're not leaving yet? Look around you, man. The boys have all got their six shooters ready. Just like in the moving pictures. If you take one step toward the door without singing, Cecil could see they're going to use them.
Smiley Burnett
Oh, well.
Al
Looks like we're going to have music, don't it? Right. This is the song Smiley wrote himself. Friends for his picture Outlaw from Powder
Smiley Burnett
river on the street of the village stood Cecil with dark glasses and a cup in his hand With a look both pathetic and eager he cried Won't you help a poor man? His clothes were all tattered and ragged and his world was as dark as the night but just let a pretty girl go by him and Cecil could see her all right, Miss Cecil could see what he wanted to see and he could be where he wanted to be Till the constable heard Cecil whistle Now Cecil no longer is free Is free Now Cecil no longer is free Once Cecil strolled out through a pasture and there laid a rope long and strong Said Cecil My goodness, how dandy Ho ho, ho I'll just say make this fun rope blow Horsiesel his eyesight was awful he just didn't see it somehow he'd never have taken that fine rope he'd known it was tied to a cow yes, Cecil could see what he wanted to see and be where he wanted to be Till the constable heard Cecil whistle Whistle Now Cecil no
Squinty
longer is free Is free
Smiley Burnett
Now Cecil
Squinty
no longer is free.
Narrator/Announcer
There are songs which become as much a part of life as the air we breathe or the paths we walk. They're songs that express a sincere and honest feeling. And here's one of them. Red River Valley.
Squinty
We will meet your bright eyes as we fly for they say you are taking the sunshine that has brightened our fan way of water I have waited a long time, my darling
Clyde
Are those
Squinty
words that you never would say but alas, all my fond hopes have vanished or they say you are going away Come and sit by my side if you you love me do not hasten to bid me adieu but remember the Red River Valley and the cowboy that love you.
Al
That's about it for this time, friends. I'd like to thank Smiley Burnett again for being our guest today. It's been a real pleasure to have you, smiley. This is 4 willing speaking for Al Slowie, Gene Walsh, Johnny Paul and all of the writers of the Purple Sage. Sing so long and good luck to all of you.
Narrator/Announcer
From Hollywood. You've heard your All Star western theater. A V.M. bear production. Starring America's great Western singers, Boy Willing and the Riders of the Purple Sage. Smiley Burnett may soon be seen in the Columbia picture Boot Hill. The script was by Ray Wilson. Direction by Tom Hargis. This is Terry o' Sullivan speaking. This program came to you from Columbia Square KNX, Los Angeles. 29 seconds until 7pm.
Squinty
Foreign.
Andrew Rines
This has been a presentation of otrwesterns.com and we hope you enjoyed. Please take some time to like and rate our shows in your favorite podcast application. Follow us on Facebook by going to otrwesterns.com Facebook subscribe to our YouTube channel by going to otrwesterns.Com YouTube and send us an email podcasttrwesterns.com you can call and leave us a voicemail 707-986-8739 this episode is copyright under the Attribution Non Commercial Share Like Copyright. For more information go to otrwesterns.com copyright have a great day and thanks for listening.
Squinty
Sam.
Host: Andrew Rhynes
Date: March 9, 2026
Special Guest: Smiley Burnett, Riders of the Purple Sage
This episode transports listeners to the golden age of radio, with a digitally restored broadcast of the 1947 episode "Sleepy Weed and Smiley" from All Star Western Theatre. In this lighthearted and music-filled adventure, Smiley Burnett joins the Riders of the Purple Sage for a comedic tale involving mistaken identity, wily outlaws, helium gas, and wild dreams—all amidst classic Western songs and humor. The lively banter and performances capture the spirit of old-time Western radio while showcasing Smiley Burnett’s comedic genius.
[01:51-08:28]
Memorable Quote:
[08:44-09:45]
Notable Quote:
[09:45-22:12]
Memorable Moments:
[24:08-25:39]
Quote:
[25:53-28:02]
Notable Quote:
“Sleepy Weed and Smiley” exemplifies the fun-loving and good-natured spirit of Old Time Radio Westerns. The restored audio and timeless performances offer a rich experience—one part musical, one part Western tale, and all parts entertaining, thanks to Smiley Burnett’s lively antics and the supporting cast's chemistry. Whether you’re a lifelong Western fan or a newcomer to vintage radio, this episode delivers both laughter and classic cowboy charm.