The Grass Valley Swindle | Adventures of Wild Bill Hickok (02-16-53)

Summary

Old Time Radio Westerns: "The Grass Valley Swindle" Summary

Episode Title: The Grass Valley Swindle | Adventures of Wild Bill Hickok (02-16-53)
Host: Andrew Rhynes
Release Date: December 14, 2024

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Introduction

In this gripping episode of Old Time Radio Westerns, host Andrew Rhynes brings listeners into the tumultuous world of the Wild West, featuring the legendary adventures of United States Marshal Wild Bill Hickok, portrayed by Guy Madison, and his trusty deputy, Jingles, voiced by Andy Devine. The episode, titled "The Grass Valley Swindle," delves into themes of deceit, justice, and survival in the rugged frontier.

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Plot Overview

Set in the arid expanse of Grass Valley, former Sand Valley, the story unfolds as Wild Bill Hickok and his deputy, Jingles, encounter Benson, a cunning land swindler exploiting the region's recent rainfall to manipulate unsuspecting farmers out of their money. Benson's scheme involves selling fertile land with the promise of prosperity, only to foreclose and reclaim the property when drought hits.

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Key Encounters and Confrontations

Initial Suspicion: The episode kicks off with Hickok and Jingles observing unusual activity in Grass Valley. When they meet Benson, the tension is palpable.

• Wild Bill Hickok (03:41): "Well, look what washed in out of the storm. You look a little soggy, Spade."
• Andrew Rines (03:56): "All right, all right. You figured out another way to swindle somebody out of the last dollar."

Revealing the Swindle: As the conversation progresses, Hickok uncovers Benson's manipulative tactics.

• Wild Bill Hickok (05:08): "I need some help with the advertising and selling."
• Andrew Rines (05:33): "Much like Benson sold land before, only to reclaim it later."

Benson reveals his method of selling land under the guise of opportunity, while secretly ensuring his grip on the property remains unchallenged.

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The Fiery Turn of Events

Escalation: The situation intensifies when Hickok and Jingles confront Benson about his deceptive practices, leading to a heated exchange.

• Benson (12:03): "We're going to tell them what land not to buy."
• Wild Bill Hickok (13:07): "There's plenty I can do about it. I'm in illegal business selling land."

The Fire Breaks Out: Amidst the confrontation, a sudden fire erupts in the office building, trapping Hickok and Jingles inside. The urgency heightens as they scramble to escape.

• Jingles (16:44): "Bill, the whole front end of the building is burning."
• Benson (16:50): "This old shack will go up like a torch. Come on, let's get out of here."

Their frantic attempts to flee the inferno highlight the immediate danger and the cunning nature of Benson's operations.

---

Resolution and Justice Served

Unveiling the Truth: After surviving the fire, Hickok and Jingles gather evidence against Benson. Dr. Hubert Elwyn, a victim of the swindle, becomes a pivotal character who aids in exposing Benson's fraudulent activities.

• Andrew Rines (21:03): "I saw them both setting fire to the building. I thought it was a little unusual."

Confrontation and Climax: The final showdown sees Hickok and Jingles taking decisive action against Benson, ensuring that justice is served and the swindle is dismantled.

• Wild Bill Hickok (23:16): "Hickok, they're alive."
• Jingles (23:26): "We'll put them in jail for setting fire to that building."

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Character Insights

Wild Bill Hickok: Portrayed as the epitome of law and order, Hickok's unwavering commitment to justice drives the narrative. His interactions with Benson reveal a no-nonsense attitude towards corruption.

• Wild Bill Hickok (11:08): "I've already done my practicing. And next time I won't miss."

Jingles: As Hickok's loyal deputy, Jingles adds a layer of humor and relatability. His camaraderie with Hickok and reactions to Benson's antics provide a balanced dynamic to the story.

• Jingles (25:01): "Snakes and lizards? What kind of a life is that?"

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Conclusion

"The Grass Valley Swindle" masterfully intertwines suspense, action, and moral lessons, encapsulating the essence of Old Time Radio Westerns. Through the heroic endeavors of Wild Bill Hickok and Jingles, listeners are reminded of the timeless battle between good and evil, integrity and deceit, set against the backdrop of the untamed Wild West.

Andrew Rhynes successfully revives the golden age of radio dramas, offering a richly enhanced auditory experience that honors classic storytelling while engaging modern audiences.

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Please note that advertisements and non-story content have been omitted to focus solely on the narrative and its key elements.

Transcript

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[Andrew Rines]

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[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Andrew Rines]

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[Wild Bill Hickok]

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[Jingles]

Welcome.

[Andrew Rines]

To the Old Time Radio Westerns. I'm your host, Andrew Rines and I'm excited to bring you another episode absolutely free. Now let's get into this episode.

[Wild Bill Hickok]

Wild Bill Hickoff.

[Andrew Rines]

Hiya folks. Hold onto your hats because here comes another rootin tootin Wild Bill Hickok adventure. Starring Guy Madison as Wild Bill and Andy Devine as his pal Jingle. We'll hear the exciting story right after this message.

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[Andrew Rines]

The Old west was a country of easy land and easy money. But sometimes newcomers from the east found it dangerous when they tried to get some for themselves. United States Marshal Wild Bill Hickok and his big deputy Jingles found it mighty dangerous too when they tried to stop the Grass Valley swindle. What a day this is.

[Wild Bill Hickok]

Oh.

[Jingles]

Oh, you fool.

[Andrew Rines]

Dead blast in rain, soaked like a drowning prairie dog.

[Wild Bill Hickok]

Well, look what washed in out of the storm. You look a little soggy, Spade.

[Andrew Rines]

Ah, never mind the funny stuff. When's this rain gonna stop? I'm sick of it.

[Wild Bill Hickok]

That's a fine way to talk when every drop that comes down is just putting money in your pocket.

[Andrew Rines]

All right, all right. You figured out another way to swindle somebody out of the last dollar. I can tell it by that happy smile of yours has.

[Wild Bill Hickok]

I don't like that kind of talk, Spade. Now, if you're so squeamish about taking a little money away from a sucker, you don't have to go along with me.

[Benson]

All right.

[Andrew Rines]

I like money just as much as you do, but what's the rain got to do with it?

[Wild Bill Hickok]

This is the first time in four years that we've had a couple of rains like this one. And the last one.

[Andrew Rines]

Sure, I know that. This country's so dry most of the time, the frogs never learn to swim.

[Wild Bill Hickok]

Yeah, but this year the grass is growing. I was looking at all that land I owned over in Sand Valley. It's turning nice and green again.

[Andrew Rines]

Well, six months from now, it'll look like a desert again.

[Wild Bill Hickok]

Sure. But while it's nice and green, we can sell it off to some of those farmers from back east that are coming out here with money in their jeans.

[Andrew Rines]

Hey, that's what you did five years ago when we had a wet winter.

[Wild Bill Hickok]

That's right. And I held a mortgage on every place I sold. Then when the dry spell came and the farmers went broke, I just foreclosed and got all my land back.

[Andrew Rines]

Yeah, I remember there was some talk about stringing you up for that little trick.

[Wild Bill Hickok]

There wasn't a thing they could do about it. It was all legal.

[Andrew Rines]

It'll be nice to work on something I can't get sent to jail for. What do you want me to do?

[Wild Bill Hickok]

I need some help with the advertising and selling. We changed the name from Sand Valley to Grass Valley and then start selling the suckers some of the prettiest pasture land they ever saw.

[Jingles]

Bill, this is the prettiest I've ever seen this part of the country.

[Benson]

Sure looks nice with all that new grass.

[Jingles]

Most of the time, the rattlesnakes in this valley have to crawl clear into town to get a drink out of the horse trawl.

[Benson]

The rains we've had this year sure helped out all right. Just too bad they can't keep water on this land all the time.

[Jingles]

What are you looking at, Bill?

[Benson]

Oh, just looking at those white stakes along the road.

[Jingles]

White stake? Where?

[Benson]

There's been one every mile or so. There's one up ahead of us.

[Jingles]

Oh, yeah? Looks like maybe a surveyor put them there, huh?

[Benson]

Sure. Who'd want to survey this valley? It isn't good for anything. Whoa, Buckshot. Whoa.

[Jingles]

Whoa, Joker. Bill wants to take a look. Well, there's plenty of grass, Joker. Help yourself.

[Benson]

Yeah, that surveyor stake's all right, Jingles. And they're new.

[Jingles]

Maybe somebody's gonna build a town.

[Benson]

You couldn't build a town here. There isn't any water.

[Jingles]

Maybe a railroad's coming through here.

[Benson]

No, not the way these stakes are laid out. Looks to me like the land's been divided up into sections.

[Jingles]

Hey, here come a couple of writers, Bill. Wonder who they are.

[Benson]

I don't know.

[Wild Bill Hickok]

Well, howdy, strangers.

[Jingles]

Howdy. Howdy.

[Wild Bill Hickok]

You come out to look over some of the land?

[Benson]

No, not exactly. Just passing through.

[Wild Bill Hickok]

Lucky thing you did. Big land boom. Just getting started here in Grass Valley. You can get in on the ground floor.

[Jingles]

Grass Valley? I always heard it called Sand Valley.

[Andrew Rines]

Benson, these ain't the dudes from back east. They know this country.

[Jingles]

You're darn right we ain't dudes. I'll tell you who we are.

[Benson]

Hold it, partner. I might be interested in this land boom after all. Oh, but never mind. You selling this land, mister?

[Wild Bill Hickok]

Sure, we're selling it for farmland. And if you haven't got enough cash to buy, we'll lend you the money and take a mortgage on the land.

[Jingles]

Well, that's the silliest thing I ever heard of. The whole valley ain't worth 20 cents.

[Wild Bill Hickok]

Now, just look around. Ever see a prettier stand of grass?

[Andrew Rines]

Wasting your time, Benson. We got a couple of smart drifters on our hands. They ain't gonna buy. Yeah.

[Wild Bill Hickok]

Yeah, I guess you're right, Spade. Well, gentlemen, I'm sorry to bother you.

[Benson]

Just a minute, Mr. Benson, if that's your name.

[Wild Bill Hickok]

It's my name, all right. What do you want?

[Benson]

My name's Hickok, United States Marshal.

[Wild Bill Hickok]

Glad to know you, Hickok. Wild Bill Hickok?

[Jingles]

That's right. I'm Jingle.

[Wild Bill Hickok]

What are you doing out here snooping?

[Jingles]

No, we're not snooping.

[Benson]

We're just riding through this land selling scheme of yours. Looks like a swindle to me and I'm going to look into it.

[Wild Bill Hickok]

You keep your nose out of my business, Hickok, and get off my land. Take that overstuffed deputy with you.

[Jingles]

Now just a minute.

[Andrew Rines]

Take it easy, boss.

[Wild Bill Hickok]

Take it easy nothing. You called me a swindler.

[Benson]

I did not. I just spill the camel.

[Andrew Rines]

Today's Wild Bill Hickok story continues in just one minute.

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[Bartesian Host]

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[Andrew Rines]

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[Andrew Rines]

I'm thirsty.

[Bartesian Host]

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[Andrew Rines]

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[Andrew Rines]

Tis the season to be jollier.

[Wild Bill Hickok]

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[Andrew Rines]

Just when Benson the land swindler thought that he had a perfect setup for making crooked money, Wild Bill Hickok and Jingles rode onto the scene and raids that Bill saw through his scheme. Benson first ordered them off his land, then drew a gun and fired.

[Jingles]

Put your gun back in its holster, Spade.

[Andrew Rines]

I Already put it back. When Hickok tossed a slug past my.

[Jingles]

Now that's being smart, Bill. Didn't hurt your boss much. Just plowed a furrow up his arm to make him drop that gun.

[Benson]

You took a clum on your horses and head back for town.

[Wild Bill Hickok]

All right, let me tell you one thing. There ain't no law that'll keep me from selling this land to anybody that wants it.

[Benson]

That's right. But I'm going to make sure that people buy it for a fair price and that they know it doesn't have any water when they do buy.

[Wild Bill Hickok]

That's just what I don't want, Hickok. And if you try, you're liable to run into a case of lead poisoning.

[Jingles]

If you're aiming to shoot, Bill, you better practice up a little bit.

[Wild Bill Hickok]

I've already done my practicing. And next time I won't miss.

[Jingles]

Get up. Get up there. I like horses all right, Bill, but not when they're hitched to a buckboard.

[Benson]

You do a pretty good job of driving jingles. Maybe we ought to set you up in the movin business.

[Jingles]

Fine job for a deputy, hauling furniture around town, renting an office. What kind of a silly stunt is this anyway?

[Benson]

You always said you wanted to settle down and go into business in some nice little town. Now this is your chance.

[Jingles]

Whoa, whoa, whoa. I can't rear back in this stirrups. Whoa, I said. That's better. Now what business are we going into, Bill?

[Benson]

We're going to be land advisors.

[Jingles]

Oh, that sounds like a fine business. Land advisors?

[Benson]

That's right. Here, help me get this furniture into the office.

[Jingles]

Now let me get a hold. You mean we're going to tell people what land to buy?

[Benson]

We're going to tell them what land not to buy. Hey, look at that sign over the door, Jingles.

[Jingles]

Oh, yeah? When did you have that painted?

[Benson]

Yesterday. I figured anybody who's heading for Benson's office next door will see our sign.

[Jingles]

Now let's see what it says. Free land and water advice. Don't buy land until you get our free report. Wait till Benson sees that.

[Wild Bill Hickok]

I've already seen it, big boy, and I don't like it.

[Jingles]

Oh, Bill, I thought I heard a strange sound. Sounded like a snake slithering up behind me.

[Benson]

Maybe it was Jingles. A two legged snake.

[Wild Bill Hickok]

I can get along without the funny remarks, Hickok and I can get along without any land advisors. Open an office next door to mine.

[Benson]

I don't see what you can do about it, Benson.

[Wild Bill Hickok]

There's plenty I can do about it. I'm in illegal business selling land. If somebody wants to buy that land, it's their business, not yours.

[Jingles]

Benson, you shouldn't get so mad. It's bad for your blood pressure.

[Benson]

Yeah, we're in a legal business too, Benson, giving out free advice to land buyers.

[Wild Bill Hickok]

Why, you.

[Jingles]

You look at him, Bill. He's about to bust a cinch strap.

[Wild Bill Hickok]

I'll bust more than that. You take my advice, Hickok, and stay out of the land business.

[Jingles]

I thought he was gonna blow up. And Pop, Bill.

[Benson]

He's liable to blow up if we keep crowding him, Jingles. When he does, he can be mighty dangerous.

[Jingles]

Well, we're gonna keep crowding him, though, ain't we?

[Benson]

Sure are. Yeah. Get hold of the other end of that desk, will you?

[Jingles]

Oh, sure. Now, there's just one thing I can't understand, Bill.

[Benson]

What's that, Jingles?

[Jingles]

Well, if we're in business or giving advice and we get that advice for nothing, how can we make any money?

[Benson]

We're not trying to make any money, Jingles. Oh, set it down over here.

[Wild Bill Hickok]

Wow.

[Andrew Rines]

Wow, wow.

[Jingles]

Now, wait a minute till I get my fingers out there. What kind of business is that, Bill?

[Andrew Rines]

Hello there.

[Jingles]

Huh?

[Andrew Rines]

Who? Well, I'd like to see the manager, please.

[Jingles]

Where'd you come from?

[Andrew Rines]

Well, I came from Peoria, actually, but I was born in Ohio. Bridgeport, Ohio.

[Jingles]

I don't care where you were born. What's the idea of sneaking up behind me when I'm setting the desk down?

[Benson]

Easy. Jingles.

[Jingles]

Yeah?

[Benson]

I'm the manager here. What can I do for you?

[Andrew Rines]

Well, I was interested in your free advisory service. I just bought some land from the Grass Valley Investment Company next door. Uh.

[Jingles]

Oh, this ain't working out the way we figured.

[Benson]

Doesn't look like it. How much land did you buy?

[Andrew Rines]

Well, I had enough cash to buy one section, but Mr. Benson kindly offered to sell me four sections and take a mortgage for the balance. And so I bought four and. Oh, that's a lot of land.

[Jingles]

How much did you pay him?

[Andrew Rines]

$3,000.

[Jingles]

Oh, that's a lot of money. Especially when you just went and threw it down a prairie dog hole.

[Andrew Rines]

Yeah. What do you mean? I looked at that land. It's wonderfully fertile. It has green grass 2ft high all over it.

[Benson]

Yeah, I know. We've seen all that green grass before.

[Jingles]

Yes, sir. And six months from now, there won't be enough grass on there to make a salad for a field mound.

[Andrew Rines]

But why not?

[Benson]

Because there's no water in Grass Valley between rains.

[Jingles]

And sometimes it's as long between rains as it is between proposals for an old maid.

[Andrew Rines]

You mean I've been swindled?

[Benson]

Unless you can think of something to do with 2,500 acres of desert, what'll I do?

[Andrew Rines]

That money was all I'd saved from my years of teaching.

[Jingles]

Teaching? You a teacher?

[Andrew Rines]

Oh, yes. Yes, indeed I am. I'm Dr. Hubert Elwyn of Westgrove University.

[Jingles]

Well, I'm glad to know you, Professor. This is Wild Bill Hickok and I'm Jingles Hickok.

[Andrew Rines]

Wild Bill Hickok?

[Jingles]

That's right. And jingle.

[Andrew Rines]

But, Mr. Hickok, you're the famous United States Marshal. Oh, surely you can get my money back for me.

[Benson]

Well, I don't know, Dr. Elwynn, but I'll try.

[Jingles]

Oh, stop walking up and down the office, Bill. It's in the middle of the night and we haven't had our supper yet.

[Benson]

Hand me that other law book, will you, Jingles? There must be some way to stop a swindler like Benson.

[Jingles]

Well, the only way I know is to get him down, beat his ears off and take the dog's money away from him.

[Benson]

Now, there's too much of that kind of justice here in the West. We've got to do this thing right.

[Jingles]

Well, it's just too darn bad when a crook like. Hey, I smell smoke.

[Benson]

Yeah, so do I. It's in here.

[Jingles]

Bill. Bill, the whole front end of the building is burning.

[Benson]

This old shack will go up like a torch. Come on, let's get out of here.

[Jingles]

Come on, let's get out the door.

[Benson]

Jingles. Wait a minute. You can't go through there.

[Jingles]

There's no other door. We're trapped in here. Bill. What'll.

[Andrew Rines]

Today'S Wild Bill Hickok story continues in just one minute. Hello?

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[Andrew Rines]

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[Bartesian Host]

All right, we're all set for the party. I've trimmed the tree, hung the mistletoe and paired all those weird shaped knives and forks with the appropriate cheeses. And I plugged in the Bartesian.

[Andrew Rines]

Bartesian.

[Bartesian Host]

It's a home cocktail maker that makes over 60 premium cocktails, plus a whole lot of seasonal favorites too. I just got it for 50 off. So how about a Cosmopolitan or a Mistletoe Margarita?

[Andrew Rines]

I'm thirsty. Watch.

[Bartesian Host]

I just pop in a capsule, choose my strength and wow, it's beginning to.

[Andrew Rines]

Feel more seasonal in here already.

[Bartesian Host]

If your holiday party doesn't have a bartender, then you become the bartender. Unless you've got a Bartesian. Because Bartesian crafts every cocktail perfectly in as little as 30 seconds. And I just got it for $50 off.

[Andrew Rines]

Tis the season to be jollier.

[Wild Bill Hickok]

Add some holiday flavor to every celebration with the sleek, sophisticated home cocktail maker, Bartian. Get 50 off any cocktail [e-mail] cocktail that's B A R T E S I A N dot com cocktail.

[Andrew Rines]

While Bill, Hickok and Jingles, working late on the case of the doctor who is swindled in a land deal, suddenly realized that their office was inflamed. The only door was blocked by the fire, and they frantically looked for a way to escape.

[Jingles]

Bill, smoke.

[Benson]

Yeah, we gotta find a way out. Hey, how about that window in the back?

[Jingles]

You think I can get through it?

[Benson]

I've got to.

[Jingles]

Come on. Looks awful little.

[Benson]

Give it a try, partner.

[Jingles]

I sure will. You want to stay in here and be barbecued? I'm starting to. Help me, Bill. Up you go. I knew it. I'm stuck.

[Benson]

I'll keep wiggling.

[Jingles]

The whole roof will come down in a minute. Shove, Bill. I think I'm moving a little. All right, once more.

[Wild Bill Hickok]

There.

[Jingles]

Oh, I think I've racked in my little skull.

[Wild Bill Hickok]

All right, here I come, Jingles.

[Benson]

There. All right, Jingles, except for where I.

[Jingles]

Lit on my head.

[Benson]

Then get on your feet and let's get out of here before that building falls down.

[Jingles]

But, Bill. Oh, I'm wounded.

[Benson]

You'll be fright if you don't move.

[Jingles]

Oh, yeah?

[Wild Bill Hickok]

Well, come on now.

[Jingles]

What are we waiting for? There she goes.

[Benson]

Yeah, we might have been in it, all right. Keep out of sight, Jingus.

[Jingles]

Keep out of sight?

[Bartesian Host]

What for?

[Benson]

Well, maybe whoever set that far will think we're still inside.

[Jingles]

You mean somebody tried to burn us up?

[Benson]

I wouldn't be a bit surprised.

[Jingles]

Oh, just wait till I get my hands on him. Bill, I'll bet that Benson had something to do with this.

[Benson]

Like what?

[Jingles]

Oh, like touching a match to a pile of oily rags.

[Benson]

Maybe so, but how are we going to prove it?

[Jingles]

Prove it? Bill Hickok, if I'd have been 10 pounds heavier out of stuck in that window and been roasted like a prairie chicken. You want me to prove that Benson set that fire?

[Benson]

That's right.

[Jingles]

Well, I ain't no mood to prove nothing except that, well, I can hammer Brother Benson down into a small grease spot.

[Andrew Rines]

Well, why, Mr. Hickok. And Jingles. Why, it's quite a surprise seeing you.

[Jingles]

Well, Dr. Alwyn. Bill.

[Benson]

Howdy, Doc.

[Jingles]

Why is it such a surprise, seaman?

[Andrew Rines]

Oh, because Mr. Benson said you'd be killed in the fire.

[Jingles]

Oh, he did, did he? When did he say this?

[Andrew Rines]

Well, just as he and that partner of his that. That. That. That Spade, I think he called him, were start.

[Benson]

You saw them started?

[Andrew Rines]

Oh, yes. Quite by accident, of course. I don't sleep very well, and I was out for a walk and I saw them both setting fire to the building. I thought it was a little unusual.

[Jingles]

Just a little. Yeah. Well, why didn't you yell or something to warn us?

[Andrew Rines]

Because Mr. Benson told me that if I made any sound at all, he would shoot me right between the eyes. And I didn't think I'd like that. And so I said nothing.

[Benson]

Any questions?

[Jingles]

No, I don't think I'd have said anything either.

[Andrew Rines]

Well, I might say that I'm happy that you're still alive.

[Jingles]

Well, thank you, Doctor. And I might say that we're kind of happy to.

[Benson]

Doc, would you be willing to help us out if we could get back that money you paid for the worthless land?

[Andrew Rines]

Why, yes, of course. Oh, do you have a plan, Mr. Hickok?

[Jingles]

My bill always has a plan, Doc. Now, now, now, you just stay quiet and listen.

[Wild Bill Hickok]

Spade and I have been talking this over, Doc, and we figured that you sure are entitled to a little break from us.

[Benson]

Yeah.

[Andrew Rines]

You're one of the first investors in Grass Valley and we want you to have the land you bought all free and clear. But do you mean I won't have to worry about the mortgage?

[Wild Bill Hickok]

That's right. Now, here's the mortgage. You can tear it up or burn it or do anything you like with it.

[Andrew Rines]

Well, I think that's a very fine gesture. I appreciate that. We thought you would. We thought you'd appreciate it so much that you wouldn't say anything about meeting us the other night when we were building a little fire. Yeah.

[Wild Bill Hickok]

Yeah, we were just burning down that old building next to my office. We're making room for a new hotel that we're going to build there.

[Andrew Rines]

Yes, but what about Mr. Hickok and Jingles?

[Wild Bill Hickok]

What about them?

[Andrew Rines]

They were in the building when you set the fire.

[Wild Bill Hickok]

They were? I didn't know that.

[Andrew Rines]

Ah, but you must have. When I discovered you, you said. Never mind what we said. This ain't gonna work, Benson. Let's get rid of the old goat.

[Wild Bill Hickok]

Shut up, Spade. We'll do this my way.

[Andrew Rines]

Shut up. I don't want them going around telling everybody that we set fire to a building and murdered Hickok and Jingles.

[Benson]

All right, Vincent, we've heard enough.

[Wild Bill Hickok]

Hickok, they're alive.

[Jingles]

You're darn tootin were alive, but no thanks to you.

[Wild Bill Hickok]

I'll get you.

[Jingles]

Bill is gun.

[Andrew Rines]

You're crazy, Benson. Trying to outdraw a Wild Bill.

[Wild Bill Hickok]

I don't need a gun. I'll kill him with my bare hands.

[Jingles]

You keep out of this bait or I'll part your hair with a.45 slug.

[Andrew Rines]

I ain't doing nothing.

[Jingles]

Well, just see that you don't. Benson started this fight. Let him finish it the hard way.

[Wild Bill Hickok]

Try this, Hickok.

[Jingles]

Pretty good, Benson.

[Wild Bill Hickok]

Try this.

[Andrew Rines]

Oh, my goodness. Oh. Well, I've heard about the Wild west, but I hadn't realized it was quite this wild.

[Benson]

Try them up, Jingles. Spade two. We'll put them in jail for setting fire to that building. When they get out, Grass Valley will be too dry to sell anyone.

[Jingles]

It'll be a pleasure. But shouldn't we make them give Doc back all the money invested?

[Andrew Rines]

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, not at all. I'm perfectly happy. Now that they've canceled the mortgage.

[Jingles]

You're happy. But, Doc, what are you gonna do with all that desert that you own?

[Andrew Rines]

Well, I'm a specialist in reptiles. And I can spend the rest of my life very happily collecting snakes and lizards on my own land.

[Jingles]

Snakes and lizards? What kind of a life is that?

[Benson]

Don't argue with him, Jingles. If he likes to collect snakes and lizards, why shouldn't he?

[Jingles]

Well, I don't know. Guess when you come right down to it, Bill, we collect snakes and lizards too. All right, come on, you two reptiles. Stick out your hands. I'm going to add you to our collection.

[Andrew Rines]

You've just heard another exciting story of Wild Bill Hicko. Starring Guy Madison as Wild Bill and Andy Devine as his pal, Jingles. This has been a Globe sound presentation.

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Bartesian Host]

All right, we're all set for the party. I've trimmed the tree, hung the mistletoe, and paired all those weird shaped knives and forks with the appropriate cheeses. And I plugged in the Partisan Partisan. It's a home cocktail maker that makes over 60 premium cocktails, plus a whole lot of seasonal favorites too. I just got it for 50 off, so how about a Cosmopolitan or a Mistletoe Margarita?

[Andrew Rines]

I'm thirsty.

[Bartesian Host]

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[Andrew Rines]

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[Andrew Rines]

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[Wild Bill Hickok]

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[Andrew Rines]

You've just heard another exciting story of Wild Bill Hickok starring Guy Madison and Andy Devine in person. Our story was written and directed by Paul Pierce. Today's cast included Leo Curley, Hal Gerard and Howard McNear. This is a David Heyer production. Transcribed in Hollywood. Now. This is Charlie Lyon speaking, reminding you to tune this station again when we present another of the adventures of Whale Bell. This has been a presentation of otrwesterns.com and we hope you enjoyed. Please take some time to like and rate our shows in your favorite podcast application. Follow us on Facebook by going to otrwesterns.com Facebook subscribe to our YouTube channel by going to otrwesterns.Com YouTube and send us an email podcasttrwesterns.com youm can call and leave us a voicemail 707-986-8739 this episode is copyright under the Attribution Non Commercial Sharelike Copyright. For more information go to otrwesterns.com/copyright. Have a great day and thanks for listening.

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[Andrew Rines]

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[Bartesian Host]

All right, we're all set for the party. I've trimmed the tree, hung the mistletoe, and paired all those weird shaped knives and forks with the appropriate cheeses. And I plugged in the Partisan Artesian. It's a home cocktail maker that makes over 60 premium cocktails, plus a whole lot of seasonal favorites too. I just got it for 50 off, so how about a Cosmopolitan or a Mistletoe margarita?

[Andrew Rines]

I'm thirsty.

[Bartesian Host]

Watch. I just pop in a capsule, choose my strength and wow, it's beginning to.

[Andrew Rines]

Feel more seasonal in here already.

[Bartesian Host]

If your holiday party doesn't have a bartender, then you become the bartender. Unless you've got a Bartesian, because Bartesian crafts every cocktail cocktail perfectly in as little as 30 seconds. And I just got it for $50 off.

[Andrew Rines]

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[Wild Bill Hickok]

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