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- [00:00]
A
You need to do the three phases of the soap opera take. I said what he said, any scene you do when it ends on your face on that slope bush, you do these three phases. Phase one, did I leave the stove on? Phase two, I did leave the stove on. Phase three, no, I turned the stove off. And he said it worked for any scene. Try it out. And that was. I took that one to the bank. I use it to this day.
- [00:30]
B
Once we were spacemen. Mace men mad. I tend to play weird people. Usually aliens and robots and things that don't have romance.
- [00:45]
A
I once didn't get a job where they were looking for a Nathan Fillion type. Once we were spacemen.
- [00:53]
B
Once we were spacemen.
- [00:55]
A
Where does he go?
- [00:59]
B
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to another episode of Once We Were Spacemean. And a spaceship and that ship flew through space and we were inside that spaceship. We were controlling it, directing it to go into more deep space. There was never a time when we weren't in space because even when we were on planets, we were on space planets. Quit nice to feeling. Alan Tudy. Thank you very much.
- [01:33]
A
Nicely done, Alan.
- [01:35]
B
Thank you.
- [01:35]
A
Man, you were laughing right off the top. What joy overcame you that just made you.
- [01:40]
B
I realized I had to do that again.
- [01:42]
A
And I had.
- [01:44]
B
And I yet again had nothing. And so I laugh. I was laughing at. Just amused with my unpreparedness yet again.
- [01:52]
A
What's killing me is that you. This is something you concocted. Yeah, you've kind of. You kind of put yourself in a box here. You gotta. That's down. This. This is your job now.
- [02:02]
B
I know. I gave myself this assignment. Is this my own homework? And yet. How are you, buddy?
- [02:10]
A
I'm good, Alan. I'm real good. God, the weather's beautiful. I just can't wait to get in my backyard on some days. It's just. It's been nice. It's nice kind of sitting around the house. Then of course, there's the. You know, you look around the house to go, oh, my God, I really gotta get on top of this job here. I'm really letting this go. Really gotta get on top of. Do you have a list of things? I mean, you just moved. You probably have nothing but a list of things to do.
- [02:36]
B
Yeah, we have. Yeah, we have lots of lists. We have lists of like, the immediate things and then there's lists of maybe one day we'll figure it out. We'll do that. We get around to that. But yeah, there's some first things first. Lists.
- [02:49]
A
Do you have literal Lists like have you made lists that you can cross out stuff and.
- [02:54]
B
I may. So far I've been able to do list for the day or I've got. Right now my sister in law and my brother in law are coming to town this Friday and I have lists of things to get done before they arrive.
- [03:11]
A
Are these. Are they staying with you in a guest room?
- [03:14]
B
Yes, they are. They'll be our first guests.
- [03:16]
A
Very nice. So setting up the guest room, that's on your list?
- [03:19]
B
Setting up the guest room. And I've got their bed already. Except I can't seem to make the bed like. No, I can make the bed like the sheets and stuff. Stuff. That part's all done. The mattress is in the. In the right room. We got the sheets. But the bed frame, I wasn't there when they took it apart because it was movers and they seem to have taken it far too apart. You know how you can kind of take something too far apart?
- [03:43]
A
Yes, yes.
- [03:44]
B
Down into. It's. It's. It's broken down into too smaller pieces. Now I don't. I'll never see it coming back together. But you know, my brother in law is good with things. So I'm thinking about saying I've left you. It's. I've left you all the things you need to sleep in a bed. You just need to put it together. Now is that or. If he says, I'd like to thank you for having us in your home, I'll say you could pay me back by putting together the bed.
- [04:08]
A
I'm going to need a hand with this. Two minds better than one.
- [04:13]
B
There we go.
- [04:14]
A
I'll hand.
- [04:15]
B
I know where all the tools are. I can hand them to you because I. This thing. Why is the. It's like a propeller. What bed needs a propeller? Not. It didn't have one before, but it seems to have some propeller feature. So I got confused and walked away.
- [04:29]
A
Interesting. That's not what I would expect.
- [04:33]
B
I didn't. I mean, I think it's not a great bed. I don't want you to think this is ikea, so you would. It's like an Allen wrench. It is particle board, but this is a bed frame, so it does the.
- [04:44]
A
What is the level of comfort in your guest accommodations? Because you want it to be comfortable for guests, but you don't want it to be so comfortable that they don't want to leave. Right. You know what I mean? You got to, you got to work a balance in there, saying, yes, you're welcome here. They're like, yeah, we got to go.
- [05:01]
B
Well, I'm hoping that that haunting thing continues where the person.
- [05:05]
A
Let's talk about that, Alan. Let's talk about that. Because I've often asked guests, have you ever seen a ghost? So please, please pregail our audience with what. What. What we're talking about right now.
- [05:17]
B
It's just the sound of footsteps going downstairs.
- [05:20]
A
You heard.
- [05:20]
B
I guess I could rouse myself out of bed and look to see who it is, and then I could see a specter, but I don't care enough. I just hear it and, no, it's not Carissa. And go.
- [05:31]
A
Do you want to do. Do you ever want to set up, like, a camera in the. In the stairwell to track the.
- [05:37]
B
I kind of don't give a shit. Like, if they. If they. If it becomes, like, Babadook, you know, like, it's. What did that one do? It wore a hat, and it stole kids. I don't know if it's doing something, then I'm like, buddy, cut it out or leave the lights alone. Then I'll get involved.
- [05:53]
A
Is that the Great Dane from the. The comics and the newspaper? Is that the Bob.
- [05:56]
B
That was Marmaduke. I think you're thinking of Marmaduke.
- [05:59]
A
Yeah, yeah.
- [05:59]
B
He's big. Big Great Dane. Just always in trouble. That guy Babadook. Different kind of trouble. I think he killed the children or he hid under the bed, or he was in a. He was in a.
- [06:11]
A
In a.
- [06:12]
B
In a closet. He was kind of in a. Like the. In the wardrobe. But the lion, the witch, and the Babadook, they were in the wardrobe, and Babadook ate the lion and the witch. It's. The Babadook was bad. I remember.
- [06:25]
A
So it's very possible, Alan, that this brownstone built in the.
- [06:31]
B
Is it late 19th century?
- [06:33]
A
So late 19th, 18, 19, 1890s, that your building's been around a while. There's certainly the possibility for some unfinished business of some spirit left behind. The aura of it left in the timbers of the. Of the. The structure of your home that is now manifesting as footsteps going down the stairs. Yeah. Whilst you sleep.
- [07:03]
B
I. You know, go for it. Get. You got to get your steps in, even after life, after death, in your. In your afterlife. You don't want to. You don't want to let yourself go.
- [07:14]
A
You seem unbothered.
- [07:16]
B
I really don't care. I mean, I think that, you know, if it's doing stuff that's, like. I don't know what would scare me.
- [07:24]
A
So here's the thing that would scare me. Like, if I were to hear footsteps going down my hallway and I couldn't just shrug it off and go, it's probably just a ghost. And not to worry about that. I would. I would think I'm really kind of closing off myself to the possibility that there's somebody in my house maybe. So what if there's, like, a. You come out one day and there's, like, an old fellow walking down the stairs going, oh, yeah, I sold you the house, but I kept a room in the attic. So I just come down every once in a while and fill my water bottle.
- [07:55]
B
I should check for that guy. You're right. I really need to consider it. Composite V. Mr. I used to Live Here. Still do. Addict. Jimmy. I'll keep an eye out for him.
- [08:07]
A
It's not an impossibility. There was a fella, I remember, who. I saw this story. I saw this on YouTube where he was saying, like, my food's going missing and things are moving and stuff like that. So he set up a camera and he went to bed. And a little cupboard above his door opened up and a lady crawled out.
- [08:26]
B
Oh, Jesus.
- [08:27]
A
Kind of got down from his breakfast nook table and went into the fridge and used the restroom. And then. And then he came out, and she hid behind a couch while he got a midnight snack. And he went back to bed, and she shoveled off back into her little thing. And he watched the video the next day and had to call the police and said, there's, like, a lady living in my house.
- [08:48]
B
That's not good.
- [08:50]
A
So I'm just saying, when you hear the footsteps, I just couldn't write that off.
- [08:54]
B
You're right. You're right, you're right. I'm kind of waiting for. I'm waiting for Carissa to hear them. Like, she. Like, for me, I don't. Trust me. And if she hears that, that's what I need to do. I need to just be like, wake it up. Wake it up. But I don't want to wake her up. I mean, she's. You know, once you're asleep, I don't want to.
- [09:10]
A
She.
- [09:10]
B
You know, she can sometimes have that thing where you wake up and you can't go back to sleep. I don't want to be the cause of that. But you know what? I'm going to. I'm going to. I'm going to investigate If I hear those steps again, I'm going to investigate.
- [09:22]
A
Yeah. What about, like, get some audio video recordings, maybe. Maybe an EMF detector? The electromagnetic frequency.
- [09:28]
B
I don't. I Don't need to go that far. I can't.
- [09:30]
A
I don't know.
- [09:31]
B
That seems too much.
- [09:32]
A
What if I got you a ghost hunting kit?
- [09:34]
B
Nah, nah, I don't want that. I've got so much crap, man. I've got too much crap. This is. This is something I realized with this whole move. So much and too much I need to start giving away. And we should talk about this a little bit, you know, for, like, all the people who are our Patreon followers, subscribers, all those guys and ladies and gentlemen, all you folk, we give you. There are the things that people see, the branded things in the merch. We need to give away some true crap because I've got so much. Look. Look at this. Look at this. Look at this crap.
- [10:07]
A
This is a long metal mold of. Is it for animal crackers?
- [10:13]
B
It's for chocolate. Chocolate mold. It's a chocolate mold. It used to be really cool. I used to have a bunch of them, and they were all a thing, and I could hang it on a wall, but just over time. Carissa didn't like it. It didn't fit in the kitchen. It doesn't fit in this kitchen. I gotta get rid of them. So I got one here. I could give that away. I could just give these away. This could be crap that you could get. It'll be a little bit more pain in the ass to ship, but I think this is the type of stuff that people. When you become a patron, you should get crap that. I'll sign it and you'll be like, this is a one of a kind thing. It's a chocolate mold from the 30s. I think I bought it. That's pretty unique.
- [10:47]
A
I just happened upon a drawer yesterday. I was looking for something, and I went into a drawer in the back, and I found a pile of T shirts that have a massive print on it of James Gunn's face on every. It's like five T shirts. And each one is top, head to toe, James Gunn's face. Really, really big. And I would wear them to work when we were doing Suicide Squad and just go, oh, this old thing every day. And I'd put them on, like, over my costume. So I'd wear them to set and stuff and go, hey, you're gonna. We're gonna run some lines or something. They'd say, what. What shirt is that? Oh, this whole thing? Oh, I wear these all the time.
- [11:34]
B
Those would be fantastic crap to give away because they had a story they come from. They're. They're of a person that they know. That people would know who probably, you know.
- [11:43]
A
Yeah. I think there's some, some photos up in social media sphere of me wearing them. I think there's one with Flula trying to kiss James Gunn's face on my, on my belly. He's, he's quite enamored with the, the James of it all.
- [11:59]
B
Look at this. Here's something.
- [12:01]
A
Hall hoo. That's your 2016. Hall H. Backstage pass for con man at the San Diego Comic Con. Hall H, Man. That's the big one. That's the, that's the one where people camp out and sleep in the street and on the curb to get into
- [12:19]
B
Confilian's Con Man Friday. We made the big time, baby. That's a good one to get. That's a big, cool piece of crap. Like, what am I going to do with that? I think it's neat that I have it. I can look at it and go, oh, wow. I remember the time that we did this. Or you give it to somebody, be like, isn't that cool as shit that I got the thing. That was the thing.
- [12:37]
A
Yes.
- [12:38]
B
I think it would be more important
- [12:40]
A
to hang on to it is to give it away later.
- [12:42]
B
Yeah, great. So I have a bunch of stuff like that. Stuff like this mold and boxes and boxes. They're just, they're everywhere.
- [12:53]
A
You're. Would you, would you consider yourself to be nostalgic, Alan?
- [12:57]
B
I am, but I don't think it's a good thing. I think nostalgia is dangerous. I think it's, I think it can be weaponized. I think people be weaponized. But people can get too caught up in the idea of a time that they forget the time and they make it precious and they tell themselves stories about that time that aren't even true. About that time. I found a journal entry. I don't know if I want to tell this story. I, I, I, I did. I have a box of journals over here. I should say that. I know I said I was going to read from that one journal and I can't find it yet, but I did find a box of other journals and I opened it up and it was, it was the day. It was an entry. The day before I was auditioning for a dodgeball movie. I was in Vancouver shooting Irobot, and I was bitching and complaining about somebody named Jillian. Who. I have no idea who that person is. I was also concerned that 50 people were fired from Irobot, that what's going on with this production? Like, I don't remember that 50 people were fired for what? When? That doesn't make any sense. That was towards the end of the production. Maybe, you know, like, you know, nostalgia. I can be nostalgic about certain things about iRobot, but if you dig in to like the day to day of that time, you're like, oh, man, I wasn't. I was troubled about a lot of different things. Jillian evidently was on time has a
- [14:24]
A
way of filtering out the crap.
- [14:26]
B
Are you saying Jillian was crap? Because I don't know who that person is, and she may not be crap. I'm just saying I don't even know if that's how you say her name.
- [14:35]
A
Wow, I really came out against Jillian this time around, didn't I?
- [14:38]
B
Yeah, time does filter out a lot of that stuff. But, like, have you ever been. And I think I know a lot of people out there who, who, who've done this, where they're like, why did I ever break up with so and so.
- [14:48]
A
Sure.
- [14:49]
B
You know what? I remember all the good times. I remember all we just did, you know, that happened. That. That's a nostalgia that gets.
- [14:56]
A
Gets you into some trouble revisiting an old romance because you forgot, like, oh. Because then you start dating them and you go, oh, yeah, now I remember why this didn't work out. Right.
- [15:05]
B
And they may remember some things about. You were like, remember when you did this? You're like, oh, God. Oh, yeah, I did do that. And why are you on my case about it still? Yeah, I, I had. That's also. I. I quit. I quit writing journals. I don't, I don't write them anymore, but I used to keep journals pretty, pretty regularly before the Internet. Before I was really involved in the Internet and I could just like get lost. You know, I would write out what I was thinking. And so I've done that with, with exes when I've almost gone back into a relationship with an ex and gone back and said, let me real quick. Let me, let me check. Let me check the files here.
- [15:42]
A
Record. Yeah.
- [15:43]
B
Oh, no, I was unhappy. Oh, no, that was bad. Oh, right. Oh, right, that happened. Oh, God. So those things are good to have for that.
- [15:51]
A
That's also a way of really unlocking creativity. Just, just writing, just putting pen to paper. There's something very freeing about that. And it does it, it does it. It feeds your brain. It really.
- [16:04]
B
Yeah, it's amazing. It's like painting or, or other artistic endeavors where you'll go, okay, I'm going to write. If it's something that isn't like a list or something that's just sort of pedantic that if you're going to say, I'm going to write a little what. What happened at the store. A little story of something that happened to you. And you have it in your head when you put pen to paper, like you said, and you start to write it, more words come in ways of describing things start falling out of you in a way that you're like, I never knew I would say it like that. I didn't even know I had that reflection on that moment or that specific thing around us that was happening while this story was going on.
- [16:41]
A
It just when you slow down your thoughts enough to put them onto paper, you can really organize things. You can really kind of deep dive on a moment, on a heartbeat and how it makes you feel. The thing I would. I think you're fantastic writer, first of all, Alan.
- [16:56]
B
Oh, well, thank you, sir.
- [16:57]
A
You tell amazing stories. Your writing is phenomenal. What I would miss in a written story from you are the impressions. Because you don't just say, oh. And then he said something about this. You take on the character.
- [17:12]
B
Yeah, it's okay. You know, I thought. Did I. I think I told you this. I saw a video. I saw a video of me not too long ago. Did I tell you this story where I. My. There's a. When. When I was in high school, there was someone, Debbie, who would film us. She was great. She had a VHS recorder and she recorded us doing things all the time. And so she has a lot of video evidence of me acting a fool at. At 18. At 17.
- [17:41]
A
If she's nostalgic and hung on to those tapes, she. She has them.
- [17:45]
B
No, she's got them. She's got them and she's been nice enough not to share them with the world. She shares them with friends, our group of friends that we all grew up together and know me from that time. And I saw a video the other day of us. I would have been. I would have already been 23, so I should have been a little more, I would hope, mature. But I wasn't.
- [18:10]
A
So you were in New York?
- [18:13]
B
No, I was home for. Yeah, I was already living in New York and I was home for New Year's. Gotcha. And I still evidently love Jerry Lewis a great deal because I was doing an impression of Jerry Lewis for one section of it. I was like, shut the hell. I wanted to reach into the like, stop. That is the most. It was annoying when he did it. And now you're doing it. I just immature me was not something anybody needs I mean, everybody's seen immature me, but even less mature me. People don't need to see that.
- [18:44]
A
Do you feel you've matured over the years?
- [18:48]
B
I do. Not at the same rate as everybody else, but I have. I absolutely have.
- [18:54]
A
Nolan, would you say you have words to live by, like a wisdom that you've kind of gleaned from life that you can say, hey kid, and you throw them one little tidbit?
- [19:05]
B
No. I mean, you try, but I don't. I think you do that much better than me. I'm sort of a day to day, I'm surviving.
- [19:13]
A
I think I've gotten some words of wisdom over time that have served me well that I can pass on to other people.
- [19:18]
B
Yes, and you do. And you're good at organizing things. It's like, I think that comes from your, you know, your parents were teachers and principals and that's all part of your family. Like, it's an organization of thinking and learning and helping, teaching. It's a way of teaching, passing on what you've learned. It's more of like a. Remember those like bargain bins of music? Like you dig through them and you're like, what is this? Nothing's ordered. That's kind of my experience of life. We got Billy Joel's greatest hits and you've got trucker songs. Top, top 10 trucker songs, you know, by, by various artists. You know, that's which. There were some really great songs about truckers back in the 70s, you know, C.W. mcCall convoy. You guys know who I'm talking about. Like that, that whole, that whole era back when trucking was cool. Anyway, I don't, I don't. I write them down sometimes. I did write some down recently that I thought would be good for me to remember.
- [20:21]
A
Do you have an experience where, you know, when you, when you're working in the industry, you are very well established, you have a lot experience and a, a wealth of jobs to, to pull on. You've seen a great deal, you've experienced a great deal, you've done a great deal. Do you ever encounter a new or younger actor and go, hey, I'm going to stop you right there? Because there's five ways that's going to go wrong. I can help you out here by just telling you one thing.
- [20:48]
B
No, I don't. And I wish I did. I tend to definitely, in a work atmosphere, I, I marry myself to the chain of command. If I have a problem with somebody, like if it, if it crosses over into a problem that I have, I will go to a director or a stage manager, whoever the person is that I'm supposed to go to and tell them, then they can tell them. I won't tell the person for fear of it causing some kind of backlash. It was explained to me at some point, if you have this kind of problem, you go to this person. We have this prime problem. Go to this person. If I have a, if, if another actor who doesn't have a lot of experience, because I've experienced actors who don't have a ton of experience who think they know everything. So if I tell them something, I don't want to seem like a know it all. Even if I know more than them, I don't chance it. And you know what? It can, it can build up some resentment. I end up having to do a lot of deep breathing, a lot of like, acceptance talk. Like, accept that they're just at that part in their journey and it's not my job. And if it crosses over into a line, then it's, then I'm like, you know, this is, this is causing a problem with work. I can go to a person that it is their job to talk to that person so they don't have to hear it from me. And, and then that person can also, they have the ability to go, you know what, Alan? Now this isn't a big deal, or I know what you're talking about, but they're going to, you know, whatever. I just, I, I pass the buck, I guess. I think. I, you know, and I, you know, I, you know. Yeah, no, I don't do that.
- [22:16]
A
There are times when I see an opportunity to help.
- [22:20]
B
Yes, I see this and I've noticed that. And it's helpful and you make friends doing this. You know, I think there's a, there's a difference that can happen with somebody where you go, hey, let me give you a hand. And as your friend, I want to help you as opposed to I would. I always fear it coming off as, ah, this is bothering me that you're doing this. And that's, that's my disconnect. But the way you approach it with, I'm your friend now, I'm going to be your friend after saying this, as I'm saying this. And you know, I think that's.
- [22:51]
A
You want to, if you're, yeah. Especially if you're trying to tell someone a different way to do things, you want to do it in a way that's going to be well received. But I'll give someone an opportunity. I'll simply, I'll Simply say, hey, I can improve what you're doing by 70% with one move. You let me know if you want my help. Wow.
- [23:08]
B
Have you ever said this to a lover? I just. I just thought in a. In the. In that situation, you're not being very efficient.
- [23:16]
A
You know what? That's so strange, because I'll say that to someone at work. But, Alan, this is a great. This is a wonderful topic. I mean, you're married now, but in the beginning you dated a lot of girls. You kiss somebody and then they're a terrible kisser.
- [23:36]
B
Right.
- [23:36]
A
And you can't tell them. You can't say you're a terrible kisser. Why is that? That's so. I think it's humiliating. I don't know. I think it's a little. But I've. I've been in that situation where it's like, I don't know what this person's.
- [23:47]
B
Because people can take that. Yeah.
- [23:49]
A
Yeah. There's no good way to take it, Alan.
- [23:51]
B
Well, if they're the right partner, you will feel comfortable enough to tell them. I would hope that you would have that connection. You'd be like, whoa, whoa. Why so much teeth? Where does the teeth? Kissing doesn't usually involve that much chewing. You could say that in a way that they'd be like, oh, so I should do less of. I shouldn't. There's not so much suction, maybe, involved. Or spit. I did have a girl who. There was a lot of. Somehow her saliva was cold.
- [24:20]
A
I don't know how.
- [24:21]
B
Yeah, it was. It was like, you know. And I won't even eat gazpacho soup because, well, soup should be warm. And so a kiss right there. I mean, it was like the.
- [24:30]
A
Like they've been sucking on ice cubes or.
- [24:31]
B
Yeah, gazpacho kisses. She'd have garlic. And I'm like, too much. Too much. Yeah. I don't know. It's tough. How do you say that? You've got too much pubic hair. How do you say that?
- [24:43]
A
That's tough.
- [24:44]
B
I bought you these clippers. I don't know. I haven't had to. And luckily, I'm a married man and. And we have a. We're good.
- [24:54]
A
That's enough, Jillian. I don't want to talk to you anymore about the house. And no more kissing.
- [24:59]
B
I just kept finding these sentences that were. I really got to deal with this Jillian thing. And then I go on about other stuff, and then. Oh, that Jillian. The Jillian issue.
- [25:09]
A
She still haunts you. Maybe that's the footsteps in Your stairwell.
- [25:13]
B
I found out that she exists. I didn't know that she was until just now. That's. That was 2005. So it's been over 20 years. I can't imagine who that person was.
- [25:23]
A
I want to know what's going to become of these journals of yours. Just the information in there. The stories must be a multitude. Yeah.
- [25:31]
B
I had a great trip with Carissa back at school that I found the entry to. Because we knew each other. My wife and I knew each other in college, but we were just friends. Yeah. So we were just friends there and we were in the same group of friends and we would all hang out together and Carissa and I never hung out one on one unless we got high. And then we were the two of the group that were going, hey, let's get into some trouble, so go steal
- [26:03]
A
a boat in Central Park.
- [26:04]
B
Yeah, yeah, steal a boat in Central Park. Break into the circus. And I found. When we broke into the circus and I had some concerns about I wasn't taking school seriously enough because I was breaking into the circus at four in the morning with this dancer, Carissa, and I needed to really apply myself at Juilliard. I quit being such a jackass.
- [26:24]
A
So, Alan, I mean, clearly we have memories of people that were bad kissers and like annoying us and things. Do you have a memory of someone who did a kindness for you that was. Was meaningful, like someone who performed it? Give me one of those.
- [26:40]
B
Do you have an act of kindness? Let's start. There you go with your act of kindness. Nathan, fill in, because I'm sure you have one.
- [26:47]
A
I'm gonna tell you. My first job was a. Was. My first big gig. Was. Was one life to live in in New York City. We're telling all these lovely New York stories. I was 20. I knew nothing about anything. And every single person on One Life to Live took me in, accepted me, and was willing to teach me anything I wanted to learn. I was an open book and I was ready to. I was an open journal and I was ready to start filling in those pages. And I remember I had an experience. It was a kid from another soap who came over to guest on ours doing these kind of inter. Inter. ABC exchanges. And this young fella was my age who was on a different show came over and he was hanging out with us. We took him to lunch, you know, at Harry's Burritos. To be honest. We took him to Harry's Burritos for lunch on the way back to the studios on 66th street between Columbus Between Central park west and, and, and Broadway. We were walking back and he said, well, you guys are all actually friends. He was very kind of quiet up until that point. I said, yeah, of course we're all friends. He said, yeah, that's not the way it is on my show. Everybody, you know, if you get too much attention, they'll try to get you fired. I, I hide in my dressing room. It's terrible. It's, it's hateful and mean and all like it was. I, I couldn't believe that he was just down the street having this very negative experience. Whilst I enjoyed just a multitude of mentors who have been doing the job since they were. Oh my God. There was, there was people there that had been doing it for 35 years. This one show. They were incredible to me. My parents came to visit. They were, you know, it was right at the very beginning. They sent their young, youngest son off to New York to go live in this other country. And they were, you know, a little, they. It was so much unknown. They had no idea what I was. None of us had any idea what I was ready to encounter. But I was having a great time.
- [28:50]
B
Wow.
- [28:50]
A
But they didn't know it until they came to New York. They visited and they talked to my cast. I remember Erica Slazak, who played my mother, pulled them aside and she had a nice little chat with them, watches, the two of them. I just watched them from a distance. They came out of that experience of visiting my studio saying, now we know you're, you're safe. Now we know you're in a great position. Now we know that you are with really good people who really care about you. And, and it was very meaningful to me. Everyone. I still have those friends. I still chat with them. I credit them with so much of my career, how I have come to view and my expectations of the entertainment industry. That whole three year experience was an act of kindness to me.
- [29:37]
B
Wow.
- [29:38]
A
Yeah.
- [29:39]
B
How nice, man.
- [29:40]
A
It really was. What an amazing first experience. I can only imagine what my career would be like if I had just gotten the job down the street where that other fellow was from.
- [29:49]
B
I bet you would have softened some heart. No, I think, I think, you know, there was that big movie back in the 80s, early 90s, Soapbox. Yes, yes, Soap With. Well, Soap was a TV show, but it was also. There was a, a movie with Robert Downey Jr. Was in it.
- [30:08]
A
I want to say Whoopi Goldberg was in it.
- [30:10]
B
Yes, Whoopi Goldberg was in it. Computer, tell us the name of that story. Soap. Dish.
- [30:15]
A
Soap.
- [30:15]
B
Dish.
- [30:16]
A
It was soap. Dish.
- [30:18]
B
But in that they. They portrayed the backstabbing and the conniving and the insecurities. And it was. It was all of that you were having that was considered the typical. At least from the outside looking in, you were having something very different.
- [30:33]
A
Very different. That's also where I learned. One of the guys from that show came over to our soap opera. It was a fellow. This guy came from All My Children. Michael Knight came over to do some episodes of One Life to Live, and I remember doing a scene with him and a couple other people, and I was the last person to speak. And there's this very small, slow pushing on your face at the very end of a scene where they're doing vamping music and all this kind of stuff behind you. And I'm just standing there. And I said, this is the worst. I just. I never know what to do. Just such a. It's way too long. This, this. This bit at the end, just on my face, he goes, you need to do the three phases of the soap opera take. I said, what? He said, any scene you do when it ends on your face, on that slow push, you do these three phases. Phase one, did I leave the stove on? Phase two, I did leave the stove on. Phase three, no, I turned the stove off. And he said, it worked for any scene. Try it out. And that was. I took. I took that one to the bank. I use it to this day. It works. It's hilarious. You do. But also, it works on Rookie. You know, it.
- [31:39]
B
Wait a second. There are times on the Rookie where you're. You're doing the three phases of a. Of a. Soak in with the cameras, pushing it. I think we can all look for that.
- [31:49]
A
And confidently nodding right now. It just. It also. You just shift it around. You don't have to spend like two seconds. Two seconds. There's some. Some. Some phases. You lean on a little heavier. Sometimes you drop this one out, but sometimes. Listen, man, it works every time.
- [32:03]
B
Wow, that's great.
- [32:05]
A
60% of the time. It works every time.
- [32:10]
B
Great. I don't have. I mean, I. I know there's probably people who know me who are like, you prick. I did so much for you. You gave my life. I. You know, I had a lot of moments where I had to fight and. And everybody who was in charge of me were like, don't do that. Don't become an actor. Don't leave Juilliard.
- [32:32]
A
You think you got some bum advice, some bad advice. And you said, I'm doing it. Anyway. And you. And you succeeded.
- [32:37]
B
Yeah.
- [32:37]
A
The old I'll show you. I got a dream and I'm going to follow it. I know better.
- [32:41]
B
I had a therapist. The therapist. When I was in school at Juilliard. So I only went three years. I didn't finish my. My final year at Juilliard because the fourth year is only performance. And I was. I had a job performing.
- [32:54]
A
You're a dropout.
- [32:55]
B
I'm a dropout. I'm a dropout.
- [32:57]
A
As am I, Alan. I'm a. I'm a two time dropout and I'm a doctor.
- [33:02]
B
You're a doctor? Oh, yes.
- [33:04]
A
You know this. You know I got an honorary doctorate. You know it. Come on. So. So we're looking at you. You are. You are a phenomenally accomplished actor. Writer, Director, Producer.
- [33:16]
B
Accomplished writer. But yes, musician. But thank you. But not really at all that one. But still. Yes, I have. I have. I'm doing okay, you know, in life. I'm happy. And that's all you can really ask. You know how. However you want to measure success, happiness is a really good one. And I'm happy. I'm happy. So I'm winning in that way. This guy. I was in therapy and I had a job. I was very stressed. I was being pulled to leave school by work. And the school was pulling me to stay in school. The head of Juilliard was like, dallin, don't leave. Don't you do it. We're gonna give you some really good roles in the fourth year.
- [33:56]
A
We're gonna.
- [33:57]
B
The plays we're gonna do are gonna be catered to you and blah, blah, bullshit, bullshit. And this guy had sort of jerked me around in the past, figuratively. And so I was. My parents wanted me to stay in school. And I just saw this opportunity as my best shot. And I said, I think I'm gonna leave. And he said, alan. My therapist goes, alan, if you leave school right now, you are going to regret it for the rest of your life, I think. Oh, am I? Ah, well, you can go fuck yourself. Wow.
- [34:32]
A
That's what pushed you over the edge.
- [34:34]
B
And I walked out of that session. I left the inflection up, as people at Julia would have been taught. You can. If you leave the inflection up at the end of a sentence. You don't just go down at the end of every. At every sentence. So I left it hanging. You can go yourself. And then walked out. So he felt the. Oh, on his own. Screw you, buddy. And I. I have no regrets. I haven't. I Have not regretted in my entire life. He was a jackass. But yeah, so I guess that guy helped me in a way. He, he was like, listen, put up or shut up moment. You know, like, I'm either gonna follow me. This guy pushed me so hard to say, you've got to do what I say or else you're gonna.
- [35:18]
A
It can't be done, Alan. Yeah. Is that right?
- [35:21]
B
Yeah.
- [35:21]
A
You know, he could turn that around and say, that's what I knew it took to, to get you to go. I knew it, Alan. That's why I did it. That way. You can still take credit.
- [35:29]
B
I'm sure that he's lost his license by now. I don't know what he's doing with his time. I don't know what these people do, but they don't hang out with me in my happy life.
- [35:39]
A
Alan. Yes? What makes us such good buddies? Oh, wow. We're very different. You aren't me. We share some experiences. We're certainly in the same industry, but we don't really have the same parts. We don't really fill the same niche. We have very varied interests. What makes us such good buddies?
- [36:01]
B
I think it's respect, my friend. I think it is mutual respect. Like any good relationship, the basis is in respect and an affinity for one another. I don't know. What do you chalk that up to?
- [36:15]
A
I'm going to say more respect. I flat out admit admire you, buddy. Since we met, like, well, I mean, since I, since I. Before I knew you were my waiter. But I mean, certainly as my waiter, I respected you. I tipped you in cash, so you didn't have the claim.
- [36:28]
B
Why do I admire this waiter so much? He doesn't seem to me, he's half assing.
- [36:32]
A
But I, when I met you, I said, oh my God, this guy's a movie star.
- [36:38]
B
And we've, we've discussed that. The flaw in that thinking. But go on.
- [36:42]
A
Yes, Your gauge is off. I'm telling you, I get your experience, but to the rest of the world, what we experience is, oh my God, this guy's a movie star. And he's chill, he's cool, he's funny, he's self deprecating. He's somebody I endeavor to spend more time with. You are very easy to spend time with. I don't like a lot of people, Alan. I don't like my time filled up with a lot of people.
- [37:09]
B
You know what's wild is you are known as the nicest guy in Hollywood. And I know that there's a, there's A lot of people who say that this guy's the nicest guy in Hollywood. That guy's the nicest guy in Hollywood. It's a thing that Hollywood people like to say, you know, they like to confer. You know, a lot of kudos and. And, you know, lift people up. And a lot of people are blowing smoke, but a lot of people say it about you. And I'm hoping one day to get all of the nicest people in Hollywood together and then fist fight it out and really have who is the nicest.
- [37:42]
A
Wow. Yeah, that'd be so weird because you're a nice person and like, I can't imagine, like, punching Paul Rudd in the face. I just couldn't.
- [37:48]
B
We have to say I'm sorry after. Just. That's it.
- [37:51]
A
I'd lose the fight. I'd have to count on them to, like, we out. How do you put nice people to fight? They're like, I don't want to.
- [37:58]
B
Oh, I'm sorry. No, I can't. God, you look so good. How are you? Have you lost weight? Everybody complimenting each other, but you were known as the nicest guy.
- [38:08]
A
I love what you did in that movie. It was a couple years ago, but I can't stop watching it. Yeah, we. We've been friends a long time. I just don't know why. I mean, I never really considered to think about what are the reasons I hang out with this guy, but.
- [38:24]
B
Blackmail.
- [38:25]
A
You're kind.
- [38:26]
B
Oh, that's. Thank you.
- [38:27]
A
You're entertaining. You are always up for an adventure. You're always up to. For like a dinner. You're always up to.
- [38:35]
B
I'll do that.
- [38:36]
A
I like the people that you like. I. I think I. I like your friends that you have.
- [38:41]
B
Yeah, we. We have. We have the same. We have some. We have similar value systems. Very similar value systems. You know, sometimes you get to know somebody and then they go. You know, they'll say, thank God you. I like you so much. You're so great. You're not like those lo. Asians. And they. You're like, oh, oh, we're not the same kind of people. You're. You have a weird specific racism against people from Laos. Are they called Lausannes? Do you know who I'm talking. I. I don't know anybody from Loetia. I've got to be honest. Not that I don't know. Maybe you do. It's not something people.
- [39:16]
A
You know, I'm gonna think on this more. Okay. And then I'm gonna. I'm gonna. We're gonna Revisit this at another time.
- [39:23]
B
Okay. Okay. Yes.
- [39:24]
A
Let's get to know you better I
- [39:26]
B
know you and you know me let's get to know you better. Oh. Oh, God, I hope I have one. Yes, let's get to know you better. Oh, shit. Uh huh huh. I'm just looking over some notes because I'll throw them down every once.
- [39:45]
A
Oh, yeah, that's true.
- [39:45]
B
Yeah, I have.
- [39:46]
A
I had some in my notes, too. What do I have here? Podcast ideas. Here we go. I have it in my notes. Alan, you know, we've gone over this. I like to collect things.
- [39:57]
B
Yes, yes, you've said now. And I'm learning more. More about you, that this is real. You've got a lot of things.
- [40:05]
A
I do. And every once in a while I say, why? Why do I have all this? And I'll. I'll get rid of a bunch of stuff and then I'll go, oh, but there's this one version and I'll start collecting them again. I don't know what's going on, but I love to doodle. I like to put pen to paper, right. But it has to be a specific paper. It has to be a specific pen with a particular ink. So people will hear, oh, Nathan, really? I do. I collect pens. People will say, oh, Nathan collects pens. I'm going to send him a pen. Don't send me a pen. I'm so particular. This will just be in the trash bin of pens that I don't like because they're not appropriately what. Whatever. My eccentricities are about what I like right now. I am my. My thing. And for the past. I think I came upon one when I was at university. I'd never, just. I'd never seen one before. A technical pen. Have you ever, have you ever had any technical pin?
- [41:00]
B
Really Fine point.
- [41:01]
A
Super fine point. You're looking at a, like a little tiny tube with a pin in it that helps you distribute ink. Kind of like a. The principle of like the two halves of a fountain pen allow ink to travel down the. Split down the middle. Ink travels down the tube along the. The pin and it's. It's incredibly fine. Yes.
- [41:22]
B
Wow. That's more than I knew about it.
- [41:24]
A
Yeah. And some are very technical and you have to kind of use them up and down very. But some are. Allow you a little more kind of a slant on it. That's the one that I like. And the ink, I use this Japanese platinum black ink. It has to be so black. And there was one I was using for a while. It was Very. Was very matte. It was very matte ink. And I liked. It has to be two coats. Two coats of ink. Alan. When I color something like black, but when I. When I color in the negative space.
- [41:53]
B
Uh huh.
- [41:54]
A
I have to go in, I have to color it again so there's no pen marks. Like the second coat really finishes it and darkens it up. I'm super. I guess I'm OCD about it. I'll sit and do that for hours. I'll listen to something and I'll just be doing that.
- [42:12]
B
That is something. I. I kind of knew it about you, but not really because we've never really discussed it. You're like, you're an artist. You're an artist. You're.
- [42:20]
A
I. I don't know about artists. People say, you got to put these in a gallery. They're doodles. These are doodles. I don't draw things that look like things. I can't draw a human face, a human hand. I can do cartoonish kind of stuff. Little bit.
- [42:33]
B
Yeah.
- [42:34]
A
I can't make a. I can't draw a face that looks like you. But I like to doodle. I like to do. I think they call them zentangles, like little patterns, little repeating patterns, different stuff like that. I'll get inspiration from Pinterest or YouTube, but I have a pad and pen at work with me. So, like when we're between things and I can sit there and just doodle, I'll doodle. I have one in my backpack. When I travel, I always have one on a plane. When I'm on a trip, I have it with a little container of ink.
- [43:03]
B
That's great. Yeah, but like Keith Haring, Like, Keith Haring was a doodler in a way, you know, and his stuff's in museums all over.
- [43:11]
A
Who is he?
- [43:12]
B
Keith Haring.
- [43:13]
A
Never heard of him.
- [43:14]
B
Yeah, you would know his work if you saw that he was really big in. He started as a graffiti artist, he was arrested doing it, and he was big on bringing awareness to the AIDS epidemic in New York during a time when the Reagan administration was not acknowledging that there was a problem. And anyway, his stuff is. It used to be free on subway platforms and now it's millions and millions of dollars and in. In huge retrospectives and museums.
- [43:49]
A
Maybe one day my doodle books will.
- [43:51]
B
Well, you get a cause like aids, you try to fight something. I hear. You know, I don't know. There's. There's Fleaborn. What's going on in LA right now? It's the plague. Flea. Yeah, it's Freeborn, LA, CA. Ah, here we go. There's fleaborn typhus in LA right now. Ooh. This is your opportunity. It's like 90 people who get it go to the hospital. Yeah, it's really bad and people are catching it and, and going to the hospital for it. So start doodling to bring awareness to flea born typhus in Los Angeles. And maybe you too can be in museums. I'm not saying it's a, it's a perfect recipe, but at least we're shining a light on it here.
- [44:35]
A
Perfect. Finally I have a direction now.
- [44:37]
B
Yeah.
- [44:37]
A
All right.
- [44:38]
B
So don't get fleas if you can help it.
- [44:39]
A
Let's get to know you, Alan.
- [44:41]
B
I don't have one prepared, but I can't like. But, but going from what you were saying when I was in school, you may not know this about me. When I was in middle school, I could take you. There was only certain electives you could take. And I took art twice and we had to do little because I didn't want to do another thing. And somehow they let me take art twice. I don't know, I got, I got away with things. I think I was noticeably different as a child because they, the. I was allowed a certain, you know, level of freedom in the artistic classes.
- [45:13]
A
You say artistic or autistic?
- [45:15]
B
Well, is it. It's really interchangeable.
- [45:18]
A
Bit like it. Like an idiot savant, but without the savant.
- [45:21]
B
Yep, that's, that's. You talk to my teachers. You went to parent night for me in the art class you would take, you would bring in. Oh, we would do figures. Like people would do active figures and you would do it with wire and then you put paper mache over it and you would paint them so people would do skiing. I went skiing for the rich kids were like. I went skiing for the holidays because we were in Texas. So skiing involved, you know, going to Colorado or something. The rich kids were skiing. Or you did running or flying or, you know, whatever. Something that. Flying a kite, I mean to say, not flying. No one flew.
- [46:02]
A
My grandpa made me shoot a deer. And that was your little diorama.
- [46:06]
B
That one would have been awesome. But instead I did a bust of another student named Chuck. The poor bastard Chuck. I, I was, I used to write comics about this guy. I made comics about Chuck in my free time.
- [46:20]
A
He was a real guy.
- [46:21]
B
He was a real guy. He was oddball, he was weird, he had funny glasses and he was a nice guy. I mean, we. I don't know that I would, I'd like to think I wasn't bullying him in shining a light on him, but he was just sort of. He was.
- [46:34]
A
But he was your muse. Yeah.
- [46:37]
B
He was a one of a kind person that didn't really bother with the convention of what other students were concerned with. Maybe, maybe this is a bad story. I'm realizing now I was, I was this bully. I was Chuck's bully. Oh, my God.
- [46:55]
A
Oh, no.
- [46:55]
B
I bullied him in the worst way. I bullied him in a weird, artistic way. I wrote comic books about him where Chuck was a superhero. He was goofy, and then he would go crazy and kill people. I wrote two comic books about him. And then. But he would kill people with, like, special strength and speed, you know, he wasn't just like a killer. And I, the teacher let me, I did a whole bust of Chuck, shoulder and head of Chuck, another student in the class. And then I made a pantyhose body for him.
- [47:28]
A
Life size.
- [47:29]
B
It was life size. It was Chuck size.
- [47:31]
A
Was it accurate?
- [47:33]
B
The face and neck area were. Yeah.
- [47:36]
A
Oh, well done. Now that's not, I mean, not, not great.
- [47:40]
B
But I got an A.
- [47:41]
A
It would, Would another student look at it and go, is that Chuck?
- [47:44]
B
Yeah, especially because the whole time I'm going, hey, everybody, this is Chuck. Check it out, it's Chuck.
- [47:48]
A
There you go. Yeah, a bully kind of led them down the.
- [47:51]
B
I'll Chuck an apology. I don't know his last name.
- [47:54]
A
I don't know. Maybe you gave him the attention he needed. Maybe it made him, you know, feel popular.
- [47:59]
B
We didn't hang out. I never hung out. He wasn't in the drama class or whatever. I was.
- [48:03]
A
I don't know if that constitutes bullying. I, I think you kind of made him a celebrity. I, I, I just. There's a lot meaner things that bullies do.
- [48:12]
B
This was artistic bullying. It's its own kind of bullying. It's, you'll see, you'll do it. One day you'll be doodling, and then suddenly you're going to find somebody to bully with your doodling.
- [48:23]
A
Alan, I didn't know that amongst your many talents, sculpture was in there. And I think if you have some time on your hands, I think eventually I'd like to see a little bust of yours truly. Me.
- [48:36]
B
Oh, that's nice.
- [48:37]
A
I see a statue of me made of smaller statues of me.
- [48:41]
B
That sounds very time consuming, but I, you know, I can. Yeah, that does, you know, I can do that. Yeah.
- [48:50]
A
I'm gonna play a little this or that with you.
- [48:52]
B
Well, can I, can I also Can I, can I introduce. Because I, I, I, I said I was going to introduce a song. Oh, and I would love to, I would love to introduce a song to people.
- [49:01]
A
Yes.
- [49:03]
B
What you listening to? This is a song that everybody knows. It was written by Talking Heads. It is. Everybody knows it because they play it on any kind of station. Once in a lifetime by Talking Heads. And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack and you may find yourself in the world. Water slow. Me not. Yeah, but this is a cover by a guy named Joshua Idahan and he is British born, but he's a Nigerian poet. So when he sings these things, you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack. And he has this accent that is, that, that, it gives it a different quality because, you know, you listen to American David Bourne, his American ears, it's, it's familiar. But he has the Nigerian accent, the Nigerian English accent, and it's, it, it takes on a social message. The song that I think is in the song anyway, but with his voice and with the way that he performs it, it's almost a plea. I cried the first time I heard it. And you don't cry when you hear that song. That song's kind of like I'm bopping along. But it's, it's, it's powerful. So I want to, I want to recommend everybody. That is the song that I'm listening to right now. And you should probably listen to it too.
- [50:16]
A
I like this.
- [50:16]
B
I think you're gonna like it, man. It is, it, it's powerful. It just builds and builds. And he also has another song just on the side. There's a song, Mama does the Washing or Mother does the Washing, something about who actually does the work in the house. But it also, it kind of gets a little political. So for those people who don't like the political stuff, don't listen to the Mother does the Washing song.
- [50:34]
A
But the other one you're highly recommending, Highly recommend it. I'm loving this new segment. I wrote this down. I'm going to listen to the song right after we're done. Great.
- [50:42]
B
We would play it for you right now, but we're not DJs like that. And it would also cost us money.
- [50:46]
A
Alan, we're going to play a little quick game of this and that.
- [50:50]
B
Oh, good. This and that.
- [50:52]
A
Are you ready?
- [50:53]
B
Yep. I think I know what this game is.
- [50:56]
A
I'm going to say two things and you're going to tell me what your preference is. Which one? Which one inspires you or lights you up for whatever Reason.
- [51:06]
B
Okay. Okay.
- [51:07]
A
Here we go. Playlists or podcasts?
- [51:10]
B
Playlist. Shoes. Oh, wait, we're on a podcast. Shit.
- [51:13]
A
We got to keep moving. We can't stop now. Shoes or slippers? Shoes. Pork or beef?
- [51:17]
B
Beef.
- [51:18]
A
Swimming pool or beach?
- [51:20]
B
Beach. Beach. It's magic.
- [51:22]
A
Fruits or vegetables?
- [51:25]
B
This is tough, I gotta say. What's an avocado?
- [51:28]
A
I think that's technically a fruit.
- [51:30]
B
I'm eating a fruity avocado over here. That's what I'm getting.
- [51:34]
A
Summer or winter?
- [51:35]
B
Summer glow.
- [51:37]
A
That's correct. Salt or pepper?
- [51:39]
B
Salt, baby.
- [51:40]
A
Cash or cards?
- [51:41]
B
They should have that instead of the hot wings. It should just be salty wings. Somebody should just eat the saltier and saltier. Like, take it anymore.
- [51:48]
A
Okay. What's that? I think they have, like, a salt. Salt and pepper wings. I think. Think that is. That is it. That is an option.
- [51:52]
B
Yeah, but like. Like the hot wings challenge where they do that and it's like, can you stand it? This was. This one is the ghost peppers. You know, all that. Just do salt. This is from the Dead Sea. Anyway.
- [52:05]
A
Cash or cards?
- [52:06]
B
Cash.
- [52:07]
A
Really?
- [52:07]
B
I prefer it. People don't take it as much anymore.
- [52:10]
A
It's true. Cookies or chips?
- [52:13]
B
Cookies. Baby.
- [52:14]
A
Soda or juice?
- [52:16]
B
Juice. I can't.
- [52:17]
A
I can't.
- [52:18]
B
I can't do the soda anymore.
- [52:20]
A
Text or call?
- [52:21]
B
Text.
- [52:22]
A
New phone or new clothes?
- [52:24]
B
New clothes. Come on.
- [52:25]
A
Driver or passenger?
- [52:27]
B
I'll. Passenger. A passenger.
- [52:29]
A
Yeah.
- [52:29]
B
Carissa doesn't. Carissa drives a lot. And I'm just sitting in the passenger seat or in the back seat and say, take me to. No. It's always in the past.
- [52:38]
A
You're the Miss Daisy of that scenario.
- [52:41]
B
I'm in the trunk.
- [52:42]
A
I know the answer to this one. Laptop or tablet?
- [52:45]
B
Laptop. Tablets. Every. I've bought. I can't. They just. Who needs it?
- [52:50]
A
I know. I think I forced you to buy one and you never use it.
- [52:52]
B
Never used it. I gave it to my niece, and then I bought another one because when I directed, people said, you need this. It's an important tool. And I bought it. And now I. I don't even know where it is. I'm not looking for it because it's an expensive thing.
- [53:03]
A
Dine in or dine out?
- [53:05]
B
Dine out. Unfortunately, I wish it was dining, but I beat out most every meal.
- [53:11]
A
This will be interesting. Movies or TV shows, You have a different perspective on this. This could be about enjoyment. This could be about employment.
- [53:18]
B
Oh, right. I mean, you know, I like it. I like a long story. So. TV shows.
- [53:25]
A
TV shows. Waffles or pancakes? I Know the answer.
- [53:28]
B
I like making movies, though, a lot. But I wouldn't give up one or the other. Anyway, what was it? Waffles or pancakes? Come on, French toast.
- [53:36]
A
I thought you were gonna say your Viking waffles.
- [53:39]
B
You know what? I stopped eating them. Wow. I don't know. They just started one day. I bit in and I was like, I don't want this. And now there's a new thing at Trader Joe's. They have a thing called protein pancakes. And they're like, I don't think they're good for you. Like, if you look at the. So much saturated fat, how could they get so much into such a little pancake? But they taste like crepes and they're gluten free.
- [54:00]
A
Rain or snow? Rain. We don't need any snow. We really don't. No oranges or apples?
- [54:06]
B
Oranges.
- [54:07]
A
Sweet or salty?
- [54:08]
B
Sweet.
- [54:10]
A
Lunch or dinner?
- [54:11]
B
Dinner.
- [54:12]
A
Fiction or nonfiction?
- [54:13]
B
Well, wait a second. This is a lot of. I mean, fiction, of course. What. Are you gonna answer these, or do I need to ask you these things, too?
- [54:21]
A
Listen. I mean, the world's your oyster, but I'm the one who came up with this brilliant idea. I'm gonna write it out.
- [54:27]
B
This is rapid fire for everybody to know all this information about me. Me. Do you guys want to know this about me? I want to know whatever you want to know.
- [54:35]
A
I want to know.
- [54:35]
B
Okay.
- [54:36]
A
I'm gleaning a lot.
- [54:37]
B
Okay. I don't want to get.
- [54:39]
A
I thought I knew you and then threw this whole waffle pancake thing at me. It's like you're a stranger to me.
- [54:46]
B
Yeah, I know. I switch it up. I. I'm a moving target, man.
- [54:50]
A
You're too old to be changing skiing or snowboarding.
- [54:55]
B
Neither one of those crazy.
- [54:57]
A
So glad you said that. I'm not a winter guy. Get me out of here. Let's go to the beach.
- [55:00]
B
I made a deal with God on the top of a mountain. If he got me off of that mountain, I would never try to ski again. And he got me off the mountain without a. Without a broken leg. And I won't go back.
- [55:10]
A
I won't.
- [55:11]
B
I won't go back on my deal.
- [55:12]
A
Dark chocolate or milk chocolate?
- [55:14]
B
Ooh, milk. Yeah, because dark. The dark chocolate. People gone too crazy. They're like, here, have some. I mean, it's just the cat. Cow. It's the full. This is just the thing that grows on the tree that. Before processing. It's disgusting.
- [55:29]
A
Yeah. Chew this crusty bean.
- [55:31]
B
Yeah, it's not good.
- [55:33]
A
It's like, saturated it with peppers as well, too.
- [55:35]
B
Yeah. It'd be like if I drink. Instead of drinking coffee, I'm just gonna chew up a bunch of coffee beans.
- [55:40]
A
Oh, dragons or unicorns?
- [55:43]
B
A unicorn eating dragon, I think is my choice. Dragon that eats only unicorns because they taste so good.
- [55:52]
A
Cake or ice cream?
- [55:53]
B
Cake. I can't eat ice cream. It's one of my things.
- [55:56]
A
It's the dairy.
- [55:57]
B
Yeah, but I. But I passed by an ice cream store last night, and I could smell. You know when you. When you're on a diet and you can smell food from a long distance away and it becomes real specific. It's like somebody's making cornbread and it's sweet with corn kernels in it. Like, you can smell the whole food. I passed by an ice cream store last night. I was like, just. The smell of sugar. Milk was coming out of the door.
- [56:22]
A
And the waffle cones. Sometimes you smell their waffle. Waffle cones. Yeah.
- [56:26]
B
Yeah. And the refrigeration was in there, too. Mixed in. Down in Brooklyn. Good times.
- [56:32]
A
Giving or receiving?
- [56:33]
B
It seems loaded.
- [56:35]
A
Careful.
- [56:36]
B
Fully loaded. I usually operate the camera.
- [56:41]
A
We'll do three more. You ready? AC or fan?
- [56:44]
B
Ac. One of them works, one of them doesn't.
- [56:47]
A
Adventure or relaxation?
- [56:49]
B
Adventure.
- [56:51]
A
The last one. Old or new?
- [56:53]
B
Old. Definitely old.
- [56:55]
A
What comes to mind when you're thinking, like, I would prefer old furniture?
- [56:58]
B
All things that are obsolete. I love obsolete things. Things that you don't even. It doesn't. You know, like that Brightannic device that I have. You know, this is. This is a thing that when you were our age, you grew up, you wanted to go get shoes. You wanted to go get some sneakers. You go in and they measure your foot on this thing called a. That's not called Brightannic. It's Brianic or Branic device. And it was the thing that they would measure your foot on. You can't find them anymore because people don't do that when you come in. You just buy shoes for the size of your foot. People kind of know what your foot is, or they've changed it. I don't know how they do it now.
- [57:32]
A
Actually, we just went to buy some sneakers for my girlfriend. They said, just step on this platform. We'll scan your feet.
- [57:40]
B
Well, that's.
- [57:42]
A
So they scan your feet. They're looking at a pressure thing on the bottom as to where you put your pressure on when you're standing. And, oh, my goodness, here we are.
- [57:49]
B
I don't know. I think they're making. They're making. They use that information, they make a 3D model of it. Next thing they put up an only fans. They're using your girlfriend's feet to make some money on the side. A little AI bot. Gotta watch out for that stuff, buddy. Anyway, yeah, that is how they would probably do it now. Or they, they do do it. You told me. Yeah, do, do. This was a, this was a thing. But if you put it on a coffee table, makes for a good coaster for two things. And I like having those things around. I even have a foot measuring thing from a guy, he was a doctor who like came up with this intricate, crazy way of measuring feet. And it's, it's, it's huge. It's. It's this. I mean it's about the size of a laptop computer just closed. It's massive. And it, there's an angle thing on it and a thing that goes over here and goes here and it's got carved in the metal feet. You know the look of feet and numbers all over it. And I use it as a. When I serve cheese.
- [58:45]
A
I was going to say a cheese plate. So this is, this is something you have in your house? Yeah, this, this antique foot measuring device.
- [58:54]
B
Device. Yes, yes.
- [58:56]
A
And not the typical.
- [58:58]
B
No, no, no. I have the typical one and now I have another one as well. I used to want even the stool that they would sit on where you put your foot up because I thought that would be interesting. But then I thought not a great piece of furniture. So I didn't buy it.
- [59:09]
A
Oh, that thing where they're sitting on it. There's a little squat stool, but there's a little pad in front where you put your foot where they're helping you with your shoe. I've always, I, I've always had an aversion to that. Like, leave me alone. I can put my own shoes on. I think I am all right here.
- [59:23]
B
Well, they lace it up and they tie it together.
- [59:27]
A
They don't know what I like for, for tying. I like elastic laces. Alan, you know this about me. Yeah, I know.
- [59:32]
B
For now, things may change. They may get. Get like those back to the future future shoes that just go auto tightening.
- [59:39]
A
Yes.
- [59:40]
B
Yeah, yeah, that's. That's next.
- [59:42]
A
Be on board for that.
- [59:43]
B
Well, Alan, I can tell you about old things again. I can, I can feature other old that I wish I owned that I don't own. That I'm not buying because I'm not buying old anymore. All the time.
- [59:55]
A
I have an old. I like, I do like old technology. I like tech that's old.
- [60:01]
B
I like old ipod that goes clack
- [60:03]
A
clack, clack, clack, clack, clack clack, click, ipod. An old Palm device. Like the first camera I remember my family having. We have one of those with the flash cube on top. Back in the day, if you wanted to flash, you had to put a cube on your top of your camera. Kids, this is how we did it in the past. You had a cube on the top of your camera and when you flashed it, it would blow out the bulb. You had four flashes per cube, one on each side. It would rotate and it would.
- [60:33]
B
Oh.
- [60:33]
A
And it would pop. And that's it. You had four flashes. That's it. That's all you got.
- [60:37]
B
I feel a new collection coming on, ladies and gentlemen.
- [60:41]
A
This is a collection that's presently in my. My living room right now on a shelf.
- [60:45]
B
Right? Cameras. Really?
- [60:46]
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah. My. The cameras I remember having throughout my time, I sought them out and I have them. I also have an old stereoscopic device where you kind of look through what kind of looks like a periscope eyesight, but you're holding out in front of you and you put. You put these cards with two photos in them and it's the same photo, but the lenses give it to you. And now it's. It's 3D. It's the first kind of 3D virtual reality viewer that you could ever have. And you have these. Have these things that look like encyclopedias. They're actually just boxes of cards that photos the double photos on them that you can look at.
- [61:24]
B
Sorcery. They would put those in in the old days and be like, what, what ho.
- [61:29]
A
You see what I'm seeing here?
- [61:31]
B
How is it possible? Sorcery. Well, I'm gonna. I think I need to get you a land camera. If you don't have a land camera, those make some great pictures.
- [61:40]
A
I can't wait.
- [61:41]
B
An old Kodak land camera, you gotta peel the thing. It's. If you can get film, the film is the tricky part. But people can write in. Write into us about where we can get that film.
- [61:51]
A
I once had my photo taken. I'll just leave you with this story. I once had my photo taken on the. One of those old timey cameras where the fella puts the. The curtain over his head and is looking through it and pulls the lens off and it. You have to hold still for 60 seconds, which is why they didn't smile back in the day. For photos they had to be very stoic and had to hold still for 60 seconds. And then Your. Your image is etched onto a chemical bit on a piece of glass. And I'm gonna. I'm gonna name drop here, Alan. That photo was taken by Gary Oldman. Name drop.
- [62:29]
B
The what?
- [62:30]
A
Yeah, he.
- [62:32]
B
He was just using a regular Polaroid with me. He kept saying, lose the top, pop off the top.
- [62:38]
A
It was a big process. I learned so much. And then he pulls out this piece of glass from this big, big wooden box with a lens on the front. He goes, do you want to come develop it with me? Yeah, I do.
- [62:49]
B
Where was this?
- [62:51]
A
This was a thing I did for a documentary on vampires, and Gary Oldman has played a vampire in the past, and he was involved, and he said, yeah, I'll do this, but I also want to be able to take photos on glass of the people that are involved. And so it was a kind of a twofer.
- [63:12]
B
How crazy.
- [63:13]
A
Cool. It was an incredible experience to getting to hang out with Gary Oldman, getting to learn about this fascinating technology as it is. It's an antique technology. That stuff really interests me.
- [63:28]
B
And also learn about vampires, I'm guessing.
- [63:30]
A
Probably a little bit. Alan, what a lovely chat I had with you once again. I hope you're having a beautiful time in New York. What are you going to do to finish off your day?
- [63:39]
B
Try to figure out what my dogs are barking at. And then I'm gonna.
- [63:43]
A
Alan, they're barking at the ghost, man. They're barking at those ghostly steps in your stairwell. That's what they're barking at.
- [63:51]
B
I hope it's that and not the woman living above my refrigerator or wherever the hell she lives, because there's some cabinets I can't even get to. So maybe she's up there.
- [63:58]
A
Probably in there.
- [63:59]
B
All right, dig it.
- [64:01]
A
Have a good one, buddy. Thank you for listening to Once We Were Spaceman. You have made it all the way to the end credits. Well done. Remember, you can always head over to our Patreon for bonus content, longer episodes, and a chance to take home some incredible crap. If you love the show, please leave us a review. Tell your friends if you didn't love the show, keep it to yourself. This podcast is a collision 33 production. Specifically, we are produced by Michelle Chapman, Siobhan Homan, and Josh Levy. All the requests, recording, and post services are handled by Rabbit Grin Productions. Our theme music is by the incredible Carlos Sosa and Joshua Moore. And as always, our logo and art group was created by Louis Jensen. Thanks, Louie.
- [64:49]
B
I think I, you know. And I, you know, I, you know. Yeah, no, I don't do that.