On this episode of Parenting Is a Joke, Ophira Eisenberg talks with author and humor writer Johanna Gohmann about her new book, All Toddlers Are Scorpios, an astrological guide that reframes toddler behavior—revenge plotting, emotional volatility, public nudity-adjacent costume choices—as pure Scorpio energy. Johanna shares how the idea struck while she was standing in the humor section at Barnes & Noble when her agent called with the concept, and how illustrator Emily Flake helped bring the tiny terrors to life. The conversation moves from toddlers wearing oven mitts on errands to rediscovered photos of her son teething on a copy of Screw Everyone, and the time he mistook a vibrator for a “soldering iron,” thanks to his dad’s gadget-building hobby. They trade stories about explaining menstruation on vacation (including an “orange pumpkin” misunderstanding in a Greek airport bathroom) and giving “the talk” to boys who immediately regret asking for it. Johanna also reflects on the creative life of writing comedy from a Brooklyn apartment before the 3:30 school-bus reset, researching astrology with a stack of books that initially included only Sex Astrology, and parenting a 13-year-old who loves Rocky training montages while being raised to name and feel his emotions. The episode captures the constant recalibration of raising boys in a culture obsessed with masculinity, managing YouTube boundaries, and finding humor in the raw, unregulated intensity of early childhood.

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Writing Horoscopes for Tiny Terrors with Johanna Gohmann