Haarlem, the Dutch Republic, February 1637. Tulip Mania is at fever pitch, and comedian Sally Anne Fellows has been handed a single Semper Augustus bulb worth more than an Amsterdam townhouse. The job: sell it at auction for at least 5,000 guilders before sundown, pocket a fat cut, and get out before the most famous bubble in history finally pops.

Sally's qualifications for surviving the floral gold rush: she's good at digging holes, brilliant at shouting her wares, and a self-confessed natural at choosing bright colours. Her actual plan is something else entirely. She decides the way to flog a priceless flower is to tell absolutely everyone she has it, swear them all to secrecy, and let the rumour do the selling. With the market wobbling and a day at most before the panic reaches Haarlem, the only question is whether a Pied-Piper sales pitch can outrun a crash that history already knows the ending to.

Tulip Mania ran from 1634 to 1637, when the Dutch Republic had the highest per-capita income on Earth and a single flower bulb became a status symbol worth a fortune. The most prized varieties, the Admirals and the Lords, owed their flamed two-tone petals to a mosaic virus nobody understood at the time, and the rarest bulbs traded hands for the price of a canal house, a herd of livestock, or 15 years of comfortable living. It's widely called the first speculative market bubble: guilders changed hands in taverns over beer and tobacco, prices doubled on a whisper, and then in February 1637 the whole thing collapsed overnight. So what does a comedian do with a Semper Augustus the week before everyone discovers it's worthless? Exactly what you'd hope.

If you were sent back in time, could you survive and thrive — or would you be burnt at the stake for being a witch? PastMaster is the show that turns history into an interactive adventure game. Each episode, a comedian is dropped into the past with nothing but modern knowledge and terrible ideas. The AI Game Master is strict. The chaos is inevitable. The past will be mastered.

Era: Early Modern | 1637 CE | Haarlem, Netherlands
Featuring: Sally Anne Fellows — comedian (Leicester Square New Comedian of the Year, co-host of the Weird Biscuit podcast)

EPISODE LINKS

Follow Sally Anne's adventure on the PastMaster Interactive Map 👉 https://map.pastmasterpod.com Sally Anne Fellows: Weird Biscuit podcast

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