Podcast
Pause Purpose Play
Hosted by Michaela Thomas · EN
Imagine if you could follow your ambition without drowning in it – how much more fulfilling life would be? That’s what Pause Purpose Play is all about – finding balance over burnout by setting you free from needing to be perfect, so that you can take action and get started with what matters to you, instead of getting stuck in procrastination and holding yourself back with self-limiting beliefs your inner critic tells you.
In this podcast, Michaela Thomas, Clinical Psychologist, Couples Therapist and founder of The Thomas Connection, shares bite-sized learning around psychology of performance, habits, self-confidence, stress, anxiety, perfectionism, parenthood and couples relationships.
The podcast will mix solo episodes with guest interviews; diving deep into their professional zone of genius and learning about how they have found pause, purpose and play in their life and in their work.
My new book, The Lasting Connection, is available now from all good bookshops.
32episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
Parental burnout in ADHD families
2w ago00:27:09Tap to summarizeParental burnout isn't the same as feeling tired after a difficult day. It's an evidence-based psychological syndrome that can develop when the demands of parenting consistently outweigh the resources available to meet those demands. In this episode, I'm exploring what parental burnout actually is, why ADHD and neurodivergent families may be at greater risk, and the hidden role that perfectionism can play in keeping us stuck. If you've ever found yourself thinking, "I don't recognise the parent I've become," this episode is for you. In this episode, we explore: What parental burnout is (and how it's different from everyday parenting stress) The four signs of parental burnout, based on the research of Professors Moïra Mikolajczak and Isabelle Roskam Why ADHD parents and parents of neurodivergent children may be particularly vulnerable How perfectionism quietly fuels parental burnout Three practical, evidence-informed ways to begin recovering from parental burnout Why support is scaffolding, not failure If this conversation resonates, I hope you'll remember one thing: Parental burnout isn't a sign you've failed your children. It's often a sign you've been trying to be a good parent for too long without enough support. 🥘This episode also mentioned Simmer Eats - not a paid affiliate, but genuinely a useful resource I treat myself to. As someone who knows that ADHD brains often struggle with meal planning, cooking and decision fatigue, I'm delighted to partner with Simmer Eats. Their high-protein, chef-made frozen meals have become a genuine staple in my freezer for those days when I need something nourishing without the mental load. You can save 50% off your first order using my link: www.simmereats.com/r/michaela-SJU 💛Free nervous system reset If you're feeling overwhelmed, constantly "on", or like your nervous system never gets a chance to switch off, I've created a free guided Nervous System Reset to help you pause, regulate and reconnect with yourself. Join it here: www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/reset If you found this episode helpful, I'd be so grateful if you could follow the podcast, leave a review, or share it with another parent who might need to hear that they're not alone.
Transcribe →When your ADHD child is excluded from childcare
3w ago00:14:27Tap to summarizeWhen your child is excluded from childcare, after-school club or wraparound care, the practical impact is obvious. But the emotional impact is often hidden. In this episode, I'm talking about the shame, grief and isolation that many parents experience when the support they rely on suddenly disappears. Because for families raising neurodivergent children, losing childcare isn't just an inconvenience – it can remove one of the few opportunities parents have to work, recover or simply catch their breath. If you've ever received that difficult phone call, been told a setting "can't meet your child's needs", or found yourself wondering, "What happens now?", I hope this episode helps you feel a little less alone. In this episode, we explore: The hidden emotional impact of being excluded from childcare or wraparound care Why parents often carry shame when their child is struggling The difference between a child whose needs exceed a setting's capacity and a child who is "too difficult" Why losing childcare also means losing vital support for parents Letting go of self-blame when systems aren't able to meet your child's needs Why grieving the loss of support is a completely valid response If this episode resonates, I hope you'll remember this: Your child's needs are not a reflection of your worth as a parent. Sometimes families need more support than the systems around them are able to provide. 💛Free nervous system reset If you're carrying the emotional weight of parenting and your nervous system feels constantly on high alert, I've created a free guided Nervous System Reset to help you pause, regulate and reconnect with yourself. Join it for free here: www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/reset If you found this episode helpful, I'd be so grateful if you could follow the podcast, leave a review, or share it with another parent who might need to hear that they're not alone.
Transcribe →Why ADHD parents feel guilty about needing support
Jun 300:13:32Tap to summarizeEver felt guilty for using after-school club, holiday club, childcare, or asking for help? In this episode, I'm talking about something many parents carry quietly: the guilt and shame of needing support. Whether you're the last parent at pickup, relying on wraparound care to make life work, or trying to parent an intense, sensitive, or neurodivergent child without a village around you, this episode is for you. I explore why support isn't failure, why childcare can be a form of scaffolding rather than a sign you're not coping, and why taking care of yourself is often one of the most caring things you can do for your child. Because your child isn't in childcare because you don't care. They're there because you do. In this episode, we cover: Why modern parenting was never meant to be done alone The guilt many parents feel about needing childcare and support Parenting intense, sensitive and neurodivergent children Why support is scaffolding, not failure The impact of burnout on family life How childcare can help you recover, regulate and reconnect Releasing the shame of not being able to do it all yourself If you've ever wondered whether you're a bad parent for needing a break, I hope this episode offers a gentler perspective. If you're a woman navigating ADHD, perfectionism, burnout, or the pressure of holding everything together, I'd love to invite you to explore how we can support you. To get my latest unhinged musings and get inspiration for how you can better meet your own emotional needs, make sure to get my Friday newsletter here: www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/newsletter
Transcribe →Hormones, ADHD, and Perimenopause: Brain Fog, PMS/PMDD, and Practical Support with Dr. Fionnuala Barton
May 2001:17:56Tap to summarizeIn this episode of Pause, Purpose, Play, we dive deep into the powerful connection between shifting hormones and neurodivergence with Dr Fionnuala Barton, also known as The Menopause Medic. We explore how the natural fluctuation and decline of estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone can drastically worsen ADHD symptoms both across the monthly menstrual cycle and throughout perimenopause. These hormonal shifts often show up unexpectedly as heightened anxiety, cognitive changes, and intense brain fog, leaving many women struggling with word-finding, memory gaps, constant distractibility, and zoning out. Left unmanaged, this combination significantly increases the risk of complete burnout. Dr Barton explains why these symptoms frequently intensify during the luteal phase right before a period, and emphasizes that it is never too early to seek medical support, even for those under the age of forty-five. Throughout our conversation, we cover the vital importance of ruling out overlapping factors like iron deficiency and Premature Ovarian Insufficiency. We also demystify the medical side of hormone health, discussing sensitivity to contraception, the trial-and-error process of finding the right HRT delivery method, and how to distinguish between PMDD, traditional PMS, and perimenopausal tracking. We talk about practical, everyday strategies that support your brain and body without the pressure of perfectionism. Dr Barton shares foundational lifestyle habits centered around quality sleep, consistent hydration, and steady nutrition packed with complex carbohydrates, protein, fiber, calcium, omega-3s, vitamin D3/K2, and creatine. We wrap up with actionable advice on how partners can step in to provide meaningful support, making this a must-listen episode for anyone navigating the intersection of ADHD and hormone health.
Transcribe →Why ADHD gets missed in high-achieving women
May 1300:22:09Tap to summarizeDo you look like you’re coping on the outside… whilst feeling overwhelmed underneath it all? Many high-achieving women with ADHD go undiagnosed for years because they appear successful, capable and “high functioning” externally — whilst internally battling chronic overwhelm, perfectionism, anxiety and exhaustion. In this episode of Pause Purpose Play, Clinical Psychologist and ADHD specialist Michaela Thomas explores why ADHD gets missed in high-achieving women, and the hidden cost of masking, overcompensating and holding everything together. Inside the episode, Michaela explores: ADHD masking and overfunctioning in women why intelligent and successful women often get missed the “good girl” adaptation and perfectionism ADHD burnout and nervous system overwhelm the difference between coping and truly thriving why many women don’t seek support until later in life Because many women with ADHD were never truly “fine”. They simply became exceptionally skilled at hiding the struggle — from others and from themselves. If this episode resonates and you’d like to explore ADHD assessment further, head on over to www.thethomasconnection.co.uk/adhd to learn more about compassionate online and in-person ADHD assessments for women.
Transcribe →Grief doesn’t follow a plan. And ADHD brains don’t process it in a straight line.
May 600:15:52Tap to summarizeIn this episode, I’m sharing a more personal reflection on what it’s actually like to move through grief when your brain is already wired for intensity, sensitivity, and self-questioning. Because one of the things I’ve noticed…n is how quickly grief can get mislabelled as avoidance. You might think: “Why can’t I just get back to normal?” “Am I slipping?” “Do I just need more discipline?” But what if that’s not what’s happening at all? In this episode, we explore: The difference between avoidance vs readiness after grief (and why that matters) How your nervous system processes loss (and why you feel so tired) The productivity pressure ADHDers carry, to push through and perform What it means to listen inward instead of overriding yourself Gentle ways to support yourself when you feel raw, slower, or not quite ready Want support with this work? If this episode resonates, this is exactly the kind of space I create inside my coaching work — where we move away from burnout and pressure, and towards self-trust, nervous system safety, and sustainable ways of living and working with ADHD. Join me in person at Golden – 15th May in London A space to connect, unmask, and be around women who get it—without having to explain yourself. Golden In Person Event May 2026
Transcribe →A Compassionate Reframe for Chronic Lateness, ADHD, and Executive Function Struggles
Apr 3000:25:19Tap to summarizeI explain that “time optimist” isn’t my term but a gentler Swedish alternative to “time blindness,” reframing chronic lateness and overcommitting as optimism about what fits into limited time rather than moral failure. From an ADHD and executive-function lens, I describe how difficulty sensing time’s passage, prioritizing, task initiation, distraction, and hyperfocus can lead to double-booking, missed deadlines, and “deadline dancing,” even when people care deeply and feel shame. I discuss how stress can worsen planning and focus, how punctuality varies by brain wiring and socialization, and why rigid professions can be harder than flexible work arrangements. I connect time optimism with procrastination, perfectionism, people-pleasing, burnout, and self-criticism, especially under modern pressures. I share practical supports like visual timers, time tracking, adding buffers, tolerating being early, reflecting on how rushing feels, and using self-compassion as motivation to change.
Transcribe →ADHD and feeling ‘too much’? You’ve just not found your people yet
Apr 800:13:04Tap to summarizeIn this episode, Michaela explores the difference between trying to fit in and truly belonging, especially for ADHD and neurodivergent women who’ve been labeled “too much”—too sensitive, intense, chatty, or emotional. She reflects on how our bodies often sense when something is off in social settings, from subtle exclusions to polite but insincere connections, and how this can fuel overthinking and rejection sensitivity. Michaela also shares how things change when you’re with the right people: less replaying conversations, more ease, and the start of unmasking—not by force, but in the presence of safety. Events mentioned in this episode: Sweden ADHD Women’s Retreat (11–14 June) A small, curated space (only 5 spots) for rest, reflection, and connection https://thethomasconnection.thrivecart.com/shine-retreat-2026/ Golden – London (15 May) A brunch-style in-person event to pause, reflect, and connect with like-minded women https://thethomasconnection.thrivecart.com/golden-in-person-event-may-2026/
Transcribe →ADHD and feeling like you don’t fit in — why being yourself hasn’t always felt safe
Apr 100:12:58Tap to summarizeIn this episode, Michaela Thomas talks about the common feeling of not fitting in—especially for late-identified ADHD women—and how it can create a constant background self-monitoring of how we come across. She shares a personal moment of feeling “too much” on the school run while wearing bright pinks, and how small daily flickers of self-consciousness can build into a belief that we’re different and need to adapt by overexplaining, overapologizing, shrinking, or camouflaging to feel safe and accepted. Drawing on Brené Brown’s distinction between fitting in and belonging, Michaela explores how these coping strategies often come from past experiences of criticism, misunderstanding, or exclusion, and how the cost can be exhaustion, social burnout, loneliness, and losing a sense of self. She close with a compassionate reframe: you don’t need to change who you are to belong—you may just need the right people and spaces, including my London meetup on May 15. Join Michaela: Golden – London (15 May) A brunch-style in-person event to pause, reflect, and connect with like-minded women https://thethomasconnection.thrivecart.com/golden-in-person-event-may-2026/
Transcribe →Why your ADHD brain needs space to wander
Mar 2600:16:04Tap to summarizeIf you feel constantly “on” - ticking off tasks, replying to messages, holding everything together - this episode is your reminder that your best thinking doesn’t happen in the busy… it happens in the pause. In this solo episode, Michaela Thomas explores the power of deeper reflection - and why creating space (not more productivity) is often the missing piece for ADHD brains. From a simple walk through London to imagining a retreat in Sweden, this episode invites you to rethink what rest, creativity, and problem-solving really look like. In this episode, Michaela covers: Why constant busyness blocks creativity and insight The role of the default mode network (DMN) in ADHD — and why mind-wandering is not a flaw How “being away with the fairies” might actually be where your best ideas live The hidden cost of executive functioning overload (yes, even by 9am…) Why rest doesn’t have to mean being still or silent How movement (walking, swimming, singing) can unlock reflection and emotional processing The power of unstructured space vs over-planned routines A reframe on retreats — from “doing” to being, connecting, and allowing Events mentioned in this episode: Sweden ADHD Women’s Retreat (11–14 June) A small, curated space (only 5 spots) for rest, reflection, and connection https://thethomasconnection.thrivecart.com/shine-retreat-2026/ Golden – London (15 May) A brunch-style in-person event to pause, reflect, and connect with like-minded women https://thethomasconnection.thrivecart.com/golden-in-person-event-may-2026/
Transcribe →