Transcript
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Guys, welcome to Psychosis, the podcast that lasts as long as I do in bed. Longer, probably. No, it's just gonna be, like, three minutes, maybe less. Hurry up. Almost done. Chocolate Rain. Zach here's black, so that defines enough about him. That's enough. That's fucked up. Damn. Ben's white, and he has a hat that says get fucked, cunt. So I feel like that describes him pretty well. And I'm me. I'm indescribable. I be that. I be that dude. You know? That's what they say. That's what I say. I don't give a fuck what anyone else says. I'd be. That chick that came in earlier for you was hot, man. So listen, man, just because she didn't come in today, maybe she'll come in tomorrow. No. You rapped at a grandma. That was up. What if I was out for the grandma? That's why I said she was in a wheelchair, so I'm so confused. The chick was 20, right? She was like, 19 or 20. Yeah. And where did she go? What do you mean, where did she go? She came here with her grandma. Yeah, she came here with her grandma. She's like, I'm looking to get my. My sister or something a phone. And I'm like, okay, that's cool. And she's like, first off, she complimented my shorts. You got to be paying attention to someone to compliment their short. You were working in shorts? Yeah, I came in when I wasn't scheduled. I just came in to grab something or to grab my yogurt and my antibiotics, because I left them here. Anyways, I. She's, like, talking to me. She says, I like your shorts. And then she asked for my name. No one ever asked for my name. So I'm like, yeah, this girl's gonna marry me. It didn't happen. It usually doesn't. So, anyways, let's talk about paraplegics. Would you guys date a girl that lived in a wheelchair? No. Poor guy. Let's go. Autobots, roll out. We live in hell. Yeah. I couldn't do that. Hell, let's work, because then I'll be taking care of her more than she's taking care of me. Yeah, but the sex would be nice. That's fucked up. He gonna be doing all the work, though. What if they were rich? Would you date a girl for money? No. What about you, Ben? No. You guys wouldn't date girl for money? I would date a girl for booty. Yeah. Well, that's sexist. I'm just saying. Not all girls have butts. Listen, if she a baddie, all butts are beautiful. Yeah. I can bypass her not having too much money. And then if you find out that she had a dick at one point in time. No, that's where we draw the line. But you fucked her numerous times, and you didn't know because she looks so much like a girl. Because she is a girl. And then one day she's like, I forgot to tell you. I forgot to tell you that two years ago I had a penis. You would just leave right on the spot. Right on the. God. I would have been gone. That's. Fuck, man. She wouldn't even had a chance to tell me. I. I don't think it's gay to date a transgender girl. The doctor did a good enough job. Hell, yeah. If she got ass, I'm okay with it. Oh, my God. If she got ass, I'm okay with it. It's not a she. We're gonna play this for your wife one day. That's fine. Cause she'll probably be a tranny. Oh, this is. I'm done with you. He said, that's fine. Poor girl. I'll probably be talking about her. Poor guy. Poor guy. It's a girl, man. It's 2020. Get in with it. Your pronouns. It, them, they. I'm a Pikachu. Guys, guys. The way I met ben. Guys. The way that I met Ben. The first conversation I had with Ben, we started talking about politics. I'm like, what do you care about, like, lgbtq? He's like, I don't care if you fuck unicorns and call yourself a salmon. You. Doesn't bother me. Got yourself a salmon. What you want to do? I'm a salmon. Who? Unicorns. You do you. You do you. And I'm a salmon. We work at a phone company. Guys, go Sprint. It's not Sprint. It's not Sprint. Zach here is college dropout. If that's what you want to call it. That's what you call it. That's not what I call it. What do you call it? You left to pursue your dreams. I call myself an entrepreneur. You're a manager at a phone store. Ben here is an actual successful entrepreneur who. See who makes you like. If you have a conversation with him about marriage, you won't want to get married. That's up. It's true. This man will be like, every one of my wives was a piece of. You might be listening. Let's get call. I expected this lady to come in today who was very cute and just so, you know, you'd have already come, like, four or five times by now. This podcast is way longer. Hey, man, you'll be out like a light. You don't even have to. How long? How far are we in? We're five minutes in. That's about it. No, he said this about it. All right, guys, well, this is where it ends. We'll see you guys next week. Yay.
