Your Questions, Answered: Tantrums, Bullying & Screen Time with Caitlin Murray of Big Time Adulting!

Summary

Raising Good Humans – "Your Questions, Answered: Tantrums, Bullying & Screen Time"

Host: Dr. Aliza Pressman
Guest: Caitlin Murray (Big Time Adulting)
Date: October 3, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this special Q&A format episode, Dr. Aliza Pressman and Caitlin Murray (Big Time Adulting) candidly answer parenting questions sourced from Caitlin’s Instagram community. Mixing real-world parenting, humor, and clinical expertise, they dig into common family dilemmas: how to push kids towards healthy challenge without controlling, navigating tantrums and parental “blow-ups,” addressing bullying, and setting practical limits on screen time and independence. Their discussion is honest, nuanced, and peppered with memorable stories and practical wisdom.

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Key Discussion Points

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1. Pushing Kids: Growth vs. Pressure

Main Question: How do you encourage children to do things that are good for them but hard, without turning into a controlling parent?
[02:13–13:23]

• Aliza’s Framework:

  • Distinguish between “scaffolding growth” (positive pushing) and “achievement pressure” (controlling).
  • “Ask yourself, is what I’m asking my child to do calling into question their value as a human?” ([04:51], A)
  • Suggests a practical approach: try a new activity (e.g., skiing), commit to giving it an honest effort (e.g., 12 times), and then reevaluate.
  • With academics: push for growth, but avoid prioritizing grades over well-being.

• Caitlin’s Real-Life Example:

  • Different personalities in her kids: one tries hard despite less natural talent, the other is naturally gifted but less willing to work.
  • “You have to put in the work. It’s not just going to happen.” ([09:23], B)

• Encouragement vs. Overstepping:

  • Agreeing that kids need to be stretched but not broken.
  • The importance of accepting when a child chooses not to pursue a challenging activity, as long as they’re engaged elsewhere.

Notable Quote:

• “I wish that we had more confidence in helping our kids be a little more stretched… It’s scary to see our kids uncomfortable.” ([11:24], A)

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2. Tantrums & Parental Reactions

Main Question: How should parents handle tantrums/meltdowns (in young and older kids) and their own loss of control?
[16:41–28:51]

• Caitlin’s Approach:

  • Uses “All feelings are welcome, all behaviors are not” (coined by Aliza) as a mantra ([17:33], B).
  • Admits to sometimes losing her own cool, emphasizing the value of repair: “I really went completely off the deep end right along with you… I’m going to have to apologize for myself later.” ([18:29], B)
  • With little kids, sometimes they forget their outbursts quickly, whereas parents can linger on the emotional impact.

• Aliza’s Insights:

  • Young kids sometimes need physical proximity but not conversation during meltdowns ([20:06], A).
  • Shares personal stories of losing her temper with her older children, followed by feelings of guilt and the necessity of repair.
  • Stresses that repair after conflict is vital and can strengthen bonds.
  • Warns against feeling pressured by “gentle parenting” ideals that demand perpetual calm: “Nobody’s fucking always calm… Or you’re a serial killer.” ([23:37], B)

• Physical Safety:

  • If tantrums become physical or unsafe (especially in older children), focus first on safety (removing from the situation, seeking help if persistent or beyond age-typical behavior).

Notable Quotes:

• “You’re not supposed to be a robot… It’s not particularly healthy for kids to grow up in a household where there was an underlying seething that was never expressed.” ([24:48], A)
• “Repair… is a beautiful thing.” ([23:12], A)

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3. Bullying: Supporting Kids & Defining Terms

Main Question: How can parents support kids being bullied, including those with special needs? Should parents intervene directly or involve the school?
[31:55–47:10]

• Defining Bullying (Aliza):

  • Bullying is not just a kid being mean—must be targeted, with a power differential, and involve recruiting others ([33:31], A).
  • Repeated, targeted physical or social aggression warrants immediate adult (usually school) involvement.

• Supporting Kids:

  • Key first step: Foster enough closeness that kids report problems.
  • Strategies for the bullied: Offer listening, ask if they need support or just a sounding board, and let them choose how to respond.
  • Not every child is comfortable with confrontation; some need permission to disengage (“Just walk away”).

• On Addressing Bullying with Other Parents:

  • Involving other parents directly can backfire. Better to work through school staff/officials unless you have a uniquely strong, trusting relationship.

• Special Needs:

  • Bullying involving children with special needs requires immediate adult intervention; schools must protect these children and escalate support.

• Allowing Exit:

  • If a situation is simply too toxic (like a sport team), it’s okay for a child to “just leave” ([44:35], A).

Notable Quotes:

• “With actual bullying, you can’t do it without adult support… I would never expect a child to self-manage a bullying situation.” ([34:31], A)
• “If your child is coming to you with this, half of what you need to do is already done.” ([37:42], A)
• “You definitely don’t have to be friends with everybody… [but] you absolutely have to be nice to everybody.” ([46:18], B’s mother’s wisdom)

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4. Screen Time, Phones & Fostering Independence

Main Questions: How to set healthy limits on screen time and phones; how to safely give kids more independence in today’s world?
[52:15–64:38]

• Screen Time

  • Caitlin: Screen time can sometimes be a lifesaver (e.g., during her son’s illness, [52:46], B), and structure matters more than strict limits.
  • Aliza: Key is what screens replace—avoid during meals, before bed, and make sure real connection/movement are prioritized ([55:11], A).

• Phones for Older Kids

  • Limit use: Not during school, mealtimes, family car rides, bedtime, or in bedrooms.
  • “We have more power than we realize… If it’s not working, we can just take it away.” ([57:16], A)
  • Kids don’t need to agree with the rules; parents make the call.

• Fostering Independence

  • Caitlin’s system: Kids use Apple Watches to check in when biking around town—a compromise giving autonomy with communication.
  • Aliza: This approach depends on the context (neighborhood, city, child’s age and readiness), but technology can be thoughtfully used for safety.
  • Recommends gradual increases in self-responsibility (e.g., walking to school, public transportation) if the environment supports it.

• Nighttime Phone Rules

  • Phones out of bedrooms at night; non-negotiable household rule. “I took my daughter’s phone at night through her senior year in high school.” ([63:55], A)
  • “If they’re in your house you can say: new rule, I take the phone at night.” ([64:34], A)
  • Playful jab: “Your daughter goes to Harvard — and that’s why. Because I took the phone away at night.” ([64:38], B & A)

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Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• “You have to put in the work. It’s not just going to happen.”
  — Caitlin ([09:23])

• “All feelings are welcome, all behaviors are not.”
  — Aliza (mantra, cited by Caitlin, [17:33])

• “Nobody’s fucking always calm… Or you’re a serial killer.”
  — Caitlin ([23:37])

• “Repair… is a beautiful thing.”
  — Aliza ([23:12])

• “With actual bullying… you can’t do it without adult support.”
  — Aliza ([34:31])

• “If your child is coming to you with this [bullying], half of what you need to do is already done.”
  — Aliza ([37:42])

• “You definitely don’t have to be friends with everybody… you absolutely have to be nice to everybody.”
  — Caitlin’s mom ([46:18])

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:01–02:13: Introduction and episode format
• 02:13–13:23: Pushing vs. controlling; positive challenge
• 16:41–28:51: Tantrums, parental reactions, repair
• 31:55–47:10: Bullying definitions, supporting kids, special needs, leaving toxic situations
• 52:15–64:38: Screen time, phones, household rules, giving kids independence

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Tone & Style

• Warm, direct, honest, and often humorous—Caitlin’s candor blends with Aliza’s calm expertise.
• Frequent mutual validation; both share personal parenting fails and wins.
• Practical, non-judgmental, and deeply empathetic—“you’re not crazy” is a running subtext.

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Conclusion

This engaging episode delivers both comfort and practical tools for parents facing messy, real-life dilemmas—especially when the “right” answer isn’t always clear. Dr. Aliza and Caitlin keep it real, blend expert advice with lived experience, and remind parents it's okay to be human, to mess up, and to keep trying.

Future Episode Tease:
Topics like “button pushing, sleep training, talking to kids about shootings, and anxiety” may be explored in future Q&A sessions due to popular demand.

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Listen if you:

• Want validation you’re not alone as a parent
• Are looking for actionable (but not prescriptive) strategies
• Appreciate humor and honesty about how messy parenting really is

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Transcript

[A]

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. Welcome to Raising Good humans podcast. I'm Dr. Eliza Pressman, and I am so excited. I'm here today with Caitlin Murray. You might be familiar with her. Wait, it's so funny. I always do this to you. Even in real life, I'm like, she. Do you guys know big time adulting? If you're unfamiliar with Caitlyn, you will be more familiar with her today. And you're going to be like, how do I bathe in her sense of joy, humor, and reality? Wait, is that really what you are? Joy, humor, and reality?

[B]

I don't mean I'll take it. That's so funny.

[A]

Is that enough? Is that right?

[B]

That's plenty.

[A]

So. And also, Caitlin says the things that a lot of us think, but we can't say either because we're a developmental psychologist or because we're like, oh, you're. You're allowed to say those things out loud. And so it is just like every time you, Caitlin, say something, I feel like so many people are sitting there like, oh, I'm not crazy. I think that's a really nice feeling.

[B]

Well, I feel that way listening to you all the time. I'm like, oh, thank God. She just validated this feeling that I have this concern.

[A]

Well, thank you. So here's what we're doing. We're going to answer questions that listeners actually, really, it was Caitlin's Instagram followers sent in, and we're going to answer them as Caitlin and as Eliza, developmental psychologist. Hat Doctor, A doctor hat and a Caitlyn hat. And then some of them, we didn't read them together in advance. Like, I have no idea what these questions are, but I think they're every person's question. So Caitlin chose questions that other people will find of benefit, and it'll be interesting to hear our varying perspectives, although they might not be so wildly different. It may just be our delivery and go, okay, great.

[B]

Yeah. So, okay. I asked the audience, I told them I was coming on your podcast and that we were going to do this fun format of sort of two different, but maybe the same perspective at the end of the day, as you mentioned. And I collected responses, and I. I don't have them here verbatim because a lot of people's questions echoed each other. So I sort of tried to just consolidate them into form that makes sense to ask a more general question that. That fits everybody. Okay, so first up, which I find this one. I'm. I'm dying for your opinion on this question, because I have A. I have a struggle with this a lot. So somebody asked about. A couple people have asked this, but the way the person who I'm quoting asked this is, what do we do about pushing kids to do something that is hard for them but good for them? Like digging deeper with an academic concept or with exercise and physical fitness, things that are not fun but good for you?

[A]

Yeah, I think that's a. I. I struggle with that. Like, I know I could tell you the answer, the textbook answer, and then I'll also tell you that I constantly struggle with it because I'm like, what is the line between positive pushing and becoming, like, controlling, aggressive. It sounds like this is a common question, is like, what is the kind of pushing that we can do to scaffold growth? And what is like, I'm just a controlling tiger mom who wants my kid to achieve, achieve, achieve? And I think they're two very different things. But we're so scared of achievement, pressure and perfection culture and just, like, pushing that we might accidentally not have our kids do anything they don't feel like doing. And then I guess there's the flip side of it, of the people that are just, like, so intense about. You're gonna be. You're gonna thank me later that there is no, like, wiggle room. I think, annoyingly, it's somewhere in between. So I would ask yourself, the first question is what I'm asking my child to do, questioning their value as a human, their worthiness. If they don't do it, hopefully the answer is no. If it's yes, if it's, like, in this family, we ski, and if you don't, you're not a member of this family, then I think it could be, you know, humiliating and shaming in a way that's too far. But if you said, look, in this family, we try skiing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it's uncomfortable and it's hard, but we do it 12 times before we make a decision about it. And it's going to be. Some of those days are going to be ugly and cold and uncomfortable and achy, but we just do it, and then we'll reevaluate after those 12 times or whatever it is that the decision is. That's not calling into question your child's worthiness. It's not saying they have to be great at it. It's just saying, this is hard, but it's something that you can't get to the other side of without doing the hard thing. There's another version that is about physical activity. Like you were saying, exercise it's like, I don't like, my job is to grow you. And part of healthy development is movement. We know this. So you have to move.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know what kind of movement you do it. Unless you're like, the movement I want to do is finger puppeting. And then I would say, okay, I'll choose it for you. And, you know, it might be uncomfortable, but you have to pick one sport or one, you know, you can run or whatever. And then with academics, I think we know there's always a difference between, am I pushing my child for a healthy, healthy thinking, learning how to learn and learning that, like, it's always going to be uncomfortable before you grow. Or am I just like, you got to get an A and you have to take really hard classes. And that's a family values thing. Like, in my household, the A is less important than, like, let's not do things that are so hard that they're breaking you, but hard enough that you're intellectually challenged so that your brain grows alongside your body with physical challenges. But does that. Is that concrete enough?

[B]

Yeah, I mean, I feel like that's a helpful answer. I like the idea of saying, you know, this is something that you. You don't have to commit to for life, but you have to try this because it is good for you. And like, or this is something like we're doing as a family. And I'm not asking for this to be your thing, but, yes, you have to give it a try at least before you decide if you hate it or not. Like, you can't just say you don't like it or you don't want to do it when you haven't given a real chance. Right.

[A]

You don't have to do this and love it. Like, everybody gets to. I mean, it's like, you wouldn't have to love every meal. Some meals one kid's gonna like more than the other. But you're a family, so you don't have short order cooking in the same way. Or maybe you do.

[B]

I mean, a lot of when my kids were little, I did so much more of that. And now it's like, okay, we. I'm not doing. I'm not jumping through 10 hoops to make dinner for the family. Now we're getting. This is what we're having. It's always the younger kids who, I feel like, protest that more. Right. Like, they're just pickier and they want to.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, be defiant and, you know, exercise their little control that they have. Right. But I guess, yeah, I Think that that's where you don't want to feel like you're like some psycho pushing your kids into activity. And especially, I think, like, this comes with it within, like, today's culture narrative when it. When it comes to exercise and being, like, afraid of creating, you know, complexes around your body or body size and how that correlates to movement and exercise and the right language around that specifically is difficult. I have, like, one of my kids who is not as naturally talented with sports and stuff like that is just a try hard. Like, he just wants to go and get it and try harder, and he's there and mentally, like, ready to push and do the work that it takes to get to the next level, that kind of thing. And then my next child, who is really naturally talented, does not want to put in the hard work. And she's also really competitive, though. She wants to be the best. She wants to be the best. She wants to get better.

[A]

That's hard.

[B]

She doesn't want to put in the work. So I just had, like, a. A real. I don't want to say, come to Jesus, whatever, aha. Conversation with her this past week. Timely enough about this, because I was saying, if you want to get better at something, you have to put in the work. It's not just going to happen. There's going to be a point in time where your natural talent is going to not be as good as the people around you who are also good at the sport, but. Or putting.

[A]

Working.

[B]

Putting in the work. And she was finally, like, okay, I want to, like, try hard. Let's, like, get better at sprinting. Let's get better at this.

[A]

And I think if you had that same conversation and she was like, okay, then that's not where I want to put my efforts. Then that's okay. Then it's like, okay, you still have to move every day. Right. Maybe you don't want to be in a competitive sport. Maybe you want to put that effort into something else.

[B]

Yeah, totally fine. But you can't, like, sit on your ass all day.

[A]

Exactly. So I think that that's the thing is, like, if somebody's like, I. I don't think we have to turn our kids into other people. So it's just making sure. I guess the other question you'd ask yourself is like, I. I think of this, and this is not rooted in research. So, like, take it or leave it. I think it's like, there's one activity that you can just be like, I'm shoving this down your throat as my Kid in this family. Like, it matters to me that you know how to do this when you grow up. And I don't really care if you like it. I don't. I'm just making that call. I think if you do that more than once and you don't acknowledge, like, yeah, this is. It's my thing, and I don't care, then I. I think you. It loses its power, and you become, like, a person who seems like they might be trying to turn you into some tyrant.

[B]

Yeah, more of a tyrant. Yeah. Yes. It's a. It's a fine line to walk in. Reverse psychology always works wonders for me. I'm like, you know what? This is your choice. You know, if you want to put in the work, you can get to the next level, but no one else can do that for you. That's yours. You got to do it.

[A]

Meanwhile, I'd be like, man, but I do wish. I will say, I wish that we had more confidence in helping our kids, like, be a little more stretched. Like, I think it's scary to see our kids feel like something is uncomfortable and in any category, and I think it's a really hard thing to know what's. Stretching, not breaking. And I don't know that there's any great way to become highly skilled at this except practice ourselves.

[B]

Yeah. I think, like, one of the. My kids said to me, I don't like, like, running more because it's. It's hard for me. I don't like it. I'm not. I said, you don't like it because it's hard. The only way to get better at it is doing hard things. Like, you cannot just get better at something by taking the easy way out. There's no. That's. But not all kids want to listen to that.

[A]

No. And. And. And if they do, it might be with something they're more inclined to get better at.

[B]

Yeah. It's kind of like one of those things where you could say, I can't put. I can't make you do this. But I can promise you, if you push yourself to do this and you get through it or you get better at something because you pushed yourself, you are going to feel empowered as fuck afterwards.

[A]

Yeah. And then if you don't. And then I guess the flip side is like, but if they're like, okay, but that's not where I want to put my energy. That we accept that, and we're not like, all right, loser.

[B]

Yeah. No, it doesn't have to be, like, physical. It can be mental. It can Be an instrument. It can be art. Like you said anything, right? Just. You can't just check out and do the easy thing forever. Like just mail every. You can't mail everything in. In life and expect to be better or do or succeed. It's up to you.

[A]

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[B]

All right, so next question had to do with tantrums of kids from all ages. I was getting like, you know, not all ages, but as old as, like my nine year old this, but also my two year old this. So tantrums or meltdowns, breakdowns, whatever you want to call it, how do you react as a parent? How do you handle these meltdowns and breakdowns in like without completely losing your own shit during it? Right. But also maybe if there is a situation where this, the whatever the kid is that's melting down is potentially going to hurt themselves or break things or that, where it gets like incredibly intense. What, what would you, What's. How do we deal with that?

[A]

Well, do you want to say how you deal with it because you have more people of tantrum age or. And then I can, yeah, sure, critique it. I'm just kidding.

[B]

I think I'm getting better with the tantrum thing or maybe I'm not and my kids are just getting older. Tantrums are less and less. But I have one kid who was like very prone to massive meltdowns when it came to, like getting ready to go places, like going to school and getting dressed and that kind of thing. And it would just really make my blood boil. And like, well, I, I lean on your like phrase at all times with. All feelings are welcome, all behaviors are not. I was like, and I say, I say it to my kids all of the time too. And I, I just said it to my daughter the other day and she like processed it and it was a good, it was a good outcome for us. It was like, you are definitely allowed to feel pissed off and angry about this, but you can't act that way. You can't just like Outbursts like that intense. I understand why you're angry and what pushed your buttons about that and stuff, but this behavior is not acceptable. Like, you need to reign it in. So in past, like before, I have kids that are maybe able to really kind of grasp that. Yeah, when your kids are littler, I have definitely been like, enough. You know, like, this is out of control and. Yeah. And just like be worse or just as bad as they are. And then that is where I really lean on the research around how effective repair is. When I'm like, wow, I really went completely off of the deep end right along with you. Jumped in right after you into the deep end with a full on meltdown. And I am going to definitely have to apologize for myself later. But yeah, I mean, I think that the probably best way is to try to ignore the behavior as much as you can and then like talk to them once they've had a chance to calm down. But I feel like with little kids also, they'll be out on level 1000 having a tantrum and then it's over and they've forgotten about it. And you're emotionally kind of scarred. Like, what the hell was that? Like, they were so mad and so incensed and now they're fine. Are they fine? Are they a psycho? Like, is this damaging? What's the right.

[A]

And they're totally fine. They just like, are more easily dysregulated.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And like, if they're under two, even under three, they. Sometimes I think this is a weird thing. Like, they. You're not gonna talk, like, chat while they're screaming because it wouldn't do anything. They can't hear you. But yeah, you might need, like, they might need touch. Like they might need you to. Even though they're insane right in that moment, they might need somebody rubbing their back. Unless that pisses them off and they are like, even more upset. Or they might need you to just sit on the floor and, you know, count sheep in your head so that you kind of can be mellow. But I also think we all, I mean, I just, I have, you know, elder kids and I just like got so annoyed that my daughter was being frankly, like, just. I don't know what the right word is, but it was like bitchy all day. And I like, I, I don't know why, I just was like, I've had it. And she was so taken aback because it's, it's. I've done that once with my older daughter and felt terrible because I definitely. It was. I said more than Just, I've had it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And like we repaired, everything was fine, but I hadn't done that yet with this one. And I definitely was like, I just tantrum. Like, I was like, I'm done with all of this. And I had to go like back.

[B]

With your tail between your legs.

[A]

I mean, I've never felt more like a dog with their tail. I mean, I was so sorry, but I think I just was like, enough with this nonsense. Like, I am not like, I cannot today, but it with little kids, that would be very scary if you did that. Like with my older one, she was just like, somebody's having a bad day.

[B]

I will say I have probably scared the living out of my kids with my reactions at times to like losing my own temper during heated moments of like trying to get everybody out the door or get your shoes on, nobody's listening, you've them 10 times and then you finally just blow your top, you know?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Or like there's a, a blatant defiant behavior that like makes you really lose it, that kind of thing. But that's, that's what I mean. I, I'm just, I'm not, I'm not a cool headed person in those situations. I wish I. Sometimes I can be, but sometimes I can really blow my top.

[A]

Doesn't matter. I mean, I think one of the things that we've learned is like, if your kids feel like you are safe, which I know your kids do, you blow your top. Like, they're just like, oh boy. You know, like that's just a moment and they'll get over it. Like it's just his moment.

[B]

Yeah. Notice that I'm gonna come back down and that we're gonna talk about it and like, I'll hug them and they'll hug me and we'll have a, have a moment of relatability and that.

[A]

And that's repair and it's a beautiful thing. But I mean, everybody can work on, you know that like not getting like that. But there are just times when you do. And I also don't think it's realistic to be like a person who doesn't eventually just lose it when everybody's being insane around them.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, in. And then like there's this whole like around gentle parenting and keeping calm all the time and using a quiet voice when you're talking. Like a calm voice and being firm but calm all the time. Like always calm. I'm like, nobody's fucking always calm. You are always calm. I'm like, where, what kind. What is the name for the drugs that you are on. I need them. Or you're a serial killer. Like, I don't know what's. Like, you're not rattled up enough for me. Like, I would like to tickle you or give you a little from behind or whatever and see if I can get you going, you know? But it just sometimes that whole, like, calm, robotic, like, I'm purpose. When people know that you're.

[A]

I think that can be terrifying.

[B]

Like, you want. I know. Like, sometimes when I'm, like, pissed off at, like, my husband or something like that and I blow up about something, I'm looking for a reaction from him too. Like, him staying calm makes me even more mad. I'm like, sure, why don't you get fired up about this too? Like, let's argue about it. I need to have it out.

[A]

Yeah. Nothing quiets an argument with my kids like, me losing my. They're like, oh, it's not that deep. Like, never mind. No, I do think we. I think there's like that over correction of gentle parenting where you're like, oh, you're not supposed to be a robot. I don't think it's particularly healthy for kids to grow up in a household where there was like, an underlying seething that was never expressed. I don't think that, like, I think that that's sort of weird. But also, I mean, if it's truly your nature, like, you're truly just Buddha baby.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Then you're probably. That's just your nature and Godspeed. But if it's a performance, but you're actually so close to losing your mind, I do think eventually you're gonna. It's like, it's gonna be badass.

[B]

It's gonna perfect somehow. Yeah.

[A]

And then I guess also we need our kids to be able to, like, see over time. Again, not all the time, but, like, see over time that people react and that the world does not end.

[B]

Yes. Yeah. And we can. We can get better from this. We can be stronger. We can have, like, a real conversation with each other as a result of this. And what happens when feelings get really intense and, like, being vulnerable and showing humility and all of that I think is really powerful in terms of, like, developing the bond with my. With my kids. I feel like I'm like, let's just be real, you know? So. Okay, so. But really quickly, before we move on to the next one, what if some kid is, like, literally going physical, physical, or maybe gonna hurt themselves? Like, what's the right thing to do?

[A]

And you have to hold their body and protect them, and it doesn't look good.

[B]

What if they're like, really like an 8 or 9 year old?

[A]

Then you need to make sure everybody's safe and get them in a room where they're safe. Like, I think it's a fantasy to say, like, I'll be here with you no matter what. No. If you're throwing things and kicking and you're too big to sort of do the bear hug, you have to protect the other people in the household and they might need space. Like, some kids actually get more dysregulated because somebody's like, I'm here for you. We're just gonna breathe through this. And then they're like, that's so infuriating. So I think that there is a world where when a kid gets that they're seeing that red and it turns physical, that you have to let them be alone in a room as long as they're safe. If they're younger, you physically hold their body tightly enough that they can't escape. Not because you're in any way hurting them, but actually because you're protecting them and yourself. It doesn't happen with kids who are eight usually. Plus, very often, like, if it's a repeat, this kid is a danger to themselves and others. At eight years old, you should see, that's where it's like, okay, this feels like it's out of scope with what is part of typical behavior. Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Whereas if that happened with a two or three year old, it's not.

[B]

Right. Yeah. Like it's. It's not age appropriate. After a certain point in time where you can.

[A]

Yeah, you shouldn't be afraid of your two big children. Like, at that point, something might need a little extra support.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Maybe reach out to somebody, even your pediatrician.

[A]

Just say, like, hey, there have been a few times where I'm like, a little bit scared for, like the physical. Physical harm that could occur, you know, for myself or for my kid. And I just want to check that out.

[B]

Yeah. Okay. We could. I mean, I could, like, talk a full episode on each of these topics with you, but we'll move on to the next one.

[A]

And now for a quick break. So here's the deal. Zip Recruiter is a really good business. If you need to find someone pretty much in any industry to be a job candidate, you're hiring. And you don't have a billion hours to go through resumes. So if you're waiting for the right candidates to apply or sorting through resumes, or trying to get in touch with potential candidates or finding candidates and finding out they're not actively looking for jobs. This is for you. So the future of hiring is very bright because ZipRecruiter's latest tools and features help speed up finding the right people for your roles so you save valuable time to do the work that you're actually meant to be doing. So now try ZipRecruiter for free at ZipRecruiter.com/humans use ZipRecruiter and save time hiring 4 out of 5 employers who post on ZipRecruiter get quality candidate within the first day. And if you go to ZipRecruiter.com humans right now, you can try it for free again that ziprecruiter.com humans z I p R E C R U I T E R It is the smartest way to hire ZipRecruiter.com humans. Get out there and find somebody awesome. Okay, I want to tell you about Suvie because I'm super into figuring out how to cook as you know, because it's just a late in life activity for me. I want to tell you about Suvie. I am going to share a way you can feed your family at home without any planning, prepping or exhausting cleanup. Sous vide is a smart countertop oven and a flexible meal delivery service in one. So I've been using SUVI at home and I've saved hours each week. I'm like so excited about a sous vide kitchen robot because it has a built in refrigeration system so you can set up dinner in the morning and then Suvi keeps it cold until it's time to cook. You don't even have to be home to start it. It's like it's truly kind of a miracle. With tap and cook technology, you can prep dinner in a couple of minutes. You can load meals into the sous vide cooking pan, tap the card to your appliance and set what time you want the food to be ready. Come on. I mean it's so cool. And the chef crafted food is delivered to your home. So Suvi has a 100 day risk free trial. So you've got to give it a try. And you can go to suvie.com humans to get 16 free meals. When you order a Suvi, that's s u v I e dot com humans.

[B]

All right, so the next question was about bullying and what to do with kids who are being bullied at school. Somebody asked about how to deal with like a Kid who has special needs getting bullied, that kind of thing. So sad. It is really sad. We've, we've dealt with that a little bit here in my house.

[A]

But was it bully side or bullied?

[B]

Oh, no. Bullied. Yeah. If any of my kids were the.

[A]

Bully, you would not be. You would have words.

[B]

Yeah, that would be a full on, you're shut down, everything is taken away type situation.

[A]

Well, I guess we should define bullying because bullying isn't. There's a kid being a jerk to you. Bullying is targeted. There's a power dynamic. Like the person who's, who's bullying is more powerful, either socially or physically, and they are enlisting other people to participate. If it's just like there's this one jerk who's always kind of just like nasty to me and that's less bullying and more just like this is not your friend, so let's stay away. But if it's like they have a power dynamic such that they can engage other people to participate and also they're just like more powerful than I am. They're a great, above me, they're more popular. They're, you know, they have a bigger role on the team, whatever that is, that gets into bullying territory.

[B]

Okay. And so, and, and did you say this anything like physical is considered bullying also, or it has to be repeat offense.

[A]

Like it had. I would have to be repeat offense with a power dynamic. And again, like sort of trying to get other people against you as well. If there's, if there's repeat offense with physical. And there, there is a power dynamic it that immediately you want to address the adults at the school to help and give permission to your child to sort of have a plan for who they can talk to and go to and not be afraid to sort of point that out, which is also really scary. And that's why like with actual bullying, and I think we use the word very lightly, like jerk. Being a jerk is not being a bully, it's just being a jerk. But with actual bullying, you can't do it without adult support. You just can't. Like, I would never expect a child to be able to self manage a bullying situation.

[B]

Okay, that's a good, that's a really good piece of advice because I think like, personally in the situation that I encountered, my son was on this team and it was a, like a club team. So kids from all different towns and people we didn't know, parents, I don't know that kind of a situation. And there were a bunch of kids from one town Together. And he was kind of the, he was the only kid from our town. He didn't know anyone on the team. And there was this one little who just like every practice would come at him. He would, like, hit him with his stick while they were in line for drills and, like, say nasty things to him. And it was like every practice, repeatedly. And my, we, we talked about it, like, at ad nauseam, like, together and that kind of thing. And we, I really wanted him to be able to have the words in the language to stand up for himself, you know? But as much as I could tell him what to say, like, I could come up with 1 million fucking zingers to say back to this little shit. And, like, I would have put him in his place so fast. So fast. This would frankly not have happened to me because I would have, like, not stood for that. My son is so nice and, like, he is just not going to be the kid that is going to talk that way to anyone ever. Like, he's just not that person. And so I can't, as much as I want to tell him, you could say this or you could say that.

[A]

Right. He's just not him.

[B]

And it's not even going to come out right. Like, he's not going to sound good saying it. So it's just going to, you know what I mean? Like, I'm just being honest. Like, yes, it's a real situation. And so for kids who are, who are like that, who may end up, like, becoming the target of even just jerks over and over again or that type of thing. How do we teach those kids, like, the way to talk or the way to stand up for themselves? And, and what is, like, what's like, the language for them? Like, I, I, I just don't, I don't know. And, and sometimes I'm like, this is just like, part of childhood, the way the world works. Yeah. Like, this is going to happen to some people and that's what it is. And hopefully nothing actually bad comes of this and they're going to be stronger for it in the end. Yeah. And kinder and more, you know, looking.

[A]

Out for other people, where that's happening.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, I mean, in this case, for example, like, a couple of clues that I feel like your son was, okay, he was telling you. Like, a lot of kids internalize that and they don't. They're too embarrassed and ashamed to tell their parent because they're like, this is a shortcoming on my end. So you have the kind of relationship where he's Telling you so out of the gate, I'm like, everything's gonna be fine. He's gonna be stronger for it. That doesn't take away the pain, and it doesn't take away that. It's terrible and shitty. It's. I guess I'm gonna have to do a disclaimer at the beginning of this episode that there's cursing.

[B]

Well, you invited me on the podcast.

[A]

I know. I knew what I was getting into. So I think just for people to know if your child is coming to you with this, half of what you need to do is already done, which is be there to receive that. And then assess whether or not this is. Is this kid enlisting the other kids from the town, or is this kid so jerky? But really what it's doing is he's not able to, like, then feel comfortable becoming part of the bigger group. And then you can, like, depending on their age, you could definitely say something to the coach, like, hey, the team is not cohesive. Like, here are some examples of what's going on. Can you figure that out? Can you, like, keep an eye out? But you're not, like, overreacting in any way. You're just like, basically, do your job, coach. But I think for the kids, just saying, thank you for telling me, like, what's that? What is that like for you when you're there? Does it feel, like, manageable? Do you want tools and tips? Like, are you, like, what would you feel comfortable with? Cause your son would be like, I'm not gonna say that back. Like, I definitely am not gonna say that back. So you can give him permission to walk away. Just be like, okay, dude, Like. Like, they need permission to. Not to decide in their power who to respond to, to give their energy to and who to just be like.

[B]

Okay, like, you do you one thing like that. Because I did a. An Instagram story around this when it was all going on, and I asked a qu. I put a question box of, like, people to respond to of the ways that you've dealt with bullies and that kind of thing, or what's been your situation? And one response that always, like, stuck with me is that you could have your. Your kid respond to that person who's at, like, being an asshole to say, like, is everything okay with you? Yeah, like, kind of.

[A]

If they would do that, you can always. Like, it's like, something must be hard on you right now that you would be taking this out on me. What's going on? And God bless anybody that has the sort of confidence to do that.

[B]

Yeah, I know. You know, even say it in a little bit of a sassy way, like, is everything okay with you? Like, you know.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Kind of turn it on them to examine the way that they're behaving in a. In a way. Like, that's a question. That's the other part of this equation where it's like, you can tell them what to say and how to say it.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And then. But they just. If they're in that situation, they're. They may be the kind of kid that ends up getting.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, my son got called a nerd at his, like, third day of middle school the other day. And I'm like, but you are not a good thing. Yeah. You know, I love that. Okay.

[A]

It's. It's like that. Again, that's a distinction between, like, people are being a jerk. Jerks to you. Like, I'm so sorry. I'm so glad you're telling me. And, like, you can do. What do you need from me? Do you want. Do you want me to hear about this and just listen, or do you want us to, like, think about what you could say back? But that's jerks. And I think jerks are just always going to be around, so we need to know that we can survive them. But it is different if they're enlisting other people to be like, look at that nerd. And throwing their books down.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Then. Then it is bullying, and you got to get. You got to get an adult involved at the school, because it can get worse. I do think we very much need to distinguish between jerks that are going to exist throughout time and that we have to have a safe place to go tell somebody about it. Like, our parents. Like, we have a close enough relationship to be like, this person said this today, and then I feel great about that kid. I feel like they know they have a safe place to come to. And I also would ask them, do you have anybody, like, when you look around when that happens, is there somebody that you feel like they like me. I'm okay.

[B]

Yeah. And I think for this, I'm gonna answer that one lady who had the question about her child with special needs.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

That seems like. Get the adults involved immediately.

[A]

Oh, my God. I think any parent who found out if I got a phone call.

[B]

How about talking to the parents of the bully of the other kid and stuff?

[A]

Like, I think it's d. I think the reason why schools prefer you to go through school is only because if I call you Caitlin, and I'm like, Listen, I know. I know you, and I know your values, and I. I feel like you can help me with this. It's come to my attention that your son's been saying whatever to a kid with special needs. And I just feel like I can see that you're already enraged at the thought, but, like, you might receive it. You might receive it and not go and scream at your kid for being just a terrible kid or alternatively denying it and being like, well, that is not the story that I heard. And, you know, but it just doesn't people. Most people do not like imagining their kids to be someone that is not aligned with their values.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So it could just backfire. Like, they'll either scream at their kid, who then will take it out on the kid that they were already bullying, or they might deny it and be like, you tell me what really happened, and then it becomes a he said, she said, or she said, she said, or he said, he said whatever. So that's why it would make me nervous. If you're, like, really good with people and you know how to validate that this must be hard, let them know that, you know that this is totally possible, that, you know there are different perspectives. Let them know that you just kind of want to have an open conversation about it. Like, I think you could do it, but you have to be really, really tactical. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Maybe not worth that. Just, like, try to get a third party sort of middle the school.

[A]

And also, if there's a kid with special needs that's being bullied in any way at the school, like, they need to get their act together at that school because things happen. Kids are good at finding places like the Playgr lunchroom to be really mean and not get caught. So the school needs to do better.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, God. Makes me want to throw up. Yeah. Okay, thank you. Next question.

[A]

All right, Wait. Is your son's team, like, better now?

[B]

He left that team.

[A]

Great. Oh, that's another thing we didn't talk about.

[B]

Leave.

[A]

If. If you feel like this is. This is actually, like, not stretching me anymore. This is unpleasant and almost like, ruining my love of the sport or making it so that I'm like, I don't know. I. I think that's a personal decision, but, like, I. I think it's sad, but we. We can also teach our kids. You know, there are times when you just take yourself out of a situation and I can help you. And then when they get older, they'll realize, like, I can leave this situation.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Just exit the room or whatever. It is. I know. It's so hard. It's the worst. I hate thinking of people being unkind. I know.

[A]

Oh, my God. It's. There's nothing that, like, I think about that movie wonder, and I just.

[B]

Oh, my.

[A]

Like, just want to cry thinking about it. I know. It's.

[B]

Everyone in the world. World should watch that movie.

[A]

Everyone in the world should watch that movie.

[B]

It's so good. It's a great family movie, too, if you haven't seen it with your kids. I watched it like a year or two ago with my kids, and my oldest are about to be 10 and 12, so they're like eight. They were maybe. I don't know, it's seven and nine at the time. It was great.

[A]

It's so good because then you can have these conversations because we should proactively, like, teach our kids not to just not bully people, but to also make sure that we don't witness it and just walk away.

[B]

Yeah, totally. To be like, this, the sticking up. The person who isn't afraid to stick up for somebody who's looking like they're.

[A]

Being marginalized, and the person who's like, if that kid looks around the room and is trying to find a kind friend, I will be that safe friend.

[B]

Yes, totally. Yeah. My mom was really good about that when we were kids, too. She was like, you definitely don't have to be friends with everybody. You are. You absolutely have to be nice to everybody. And if you ever see somebody being treated, mistreated by somebody else, you have to say something to them. That's so.

[A]

Yeah, let's just have everybody say that to their kids today.

[B]

I'm gonna say it to my kids all when they get home today, too, just to remind them. You say those things, though. There are these things that we say to our kids, like, over and over and over again. Like, you can't say them enough, and you want them to part of, like, the cornerstone of their value system, you know, and their. Their fabric, their emotional fabric. Like, never forget these principles.

[A]

And then it's like, if you choose wisely, the things that really matter to you and your household, those values they know I can't. Like, that's a line I'm not crossing. Like, that makes me outside. That's. That makes me misaligned with my own, like, core of who we are as a family.

[B]

Yeah. You start to feel bad even thinking about going against it. Right?

[A]

Yeah. And now for a quick break in other obsessions. I'm very much into how my hair has just. It used to be really thick and just. Time, guys. Time has made it thinner. And so I was very excited to get Irestore into my life. The Irestore Elite. Basically, it looks like a bike helmet, but it's got 300 lasers and 200 LEDs that send light therapy directly to your scalp. And you can just do whatever you want during that. So it's just helping your hair get thicker and fuller and healthier. And you, you know, might look a little goofy, but you can do whatever you want during that time and help your hair. So I think it's a pretty good gig. Give yourself the gift of hair confidence. For a limited time only, RGH listeners are getting a huge discount on the Irestore Elite because it is a pricey product, but awesome. And this huge discount go, like, huge, huge hundreds of dollars off. Happens when you use the code [e-mail] so just head over to irestore.com and use the code RGH for this exclusive discount on the Irestore Elite. Support the show and tell them we sent you. Hair loss is frustrating and you don't have to fight it alone. Thanks to Irestore. So another meal delivery service that I want to tell you about because I just think saving time is a very beautiful thing, is Nurture Life. So Nurture Life is a meal delivery service that makes nutritious meals and snacks that your kids actually want to eat. And it gives parents the support they need as well. Nurture Life's whole menu is perfect for kids ages 10 months to 10 years old. They have fresh meals and snacks that are delicious, nutritious, they're fully cooked, so they're ready to serve in just a minute, which, especially when you have younger children, I know that it can get pretty hectic. Okay, so this is how it works. You choose from more than 50 variants of nutritious, balanced meals on their menu, from finger foods for babies to toddlers and kids meals for older kids. And Nurture Life does the cooking for you. The fresh meals are delivered straight to your door in refrigerated packaging. And along with the full meal options, they also include on the go snacks, snacks, and superfood smoothies so kids can eat well no matter what they're in.

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The mood to eat.

[A]

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[B]

One, which is like so of the moment, everybody's thinking about it, talking about it, both just like phones but also screen time. So like screen time, I think for littler kids and then like phones, etc for, for bigger kids, like, what's the question? Just like what are the limits? What should be allowed? What's wrong? What's right? What are we suggesting? What's like.

[A]

Well, what are you, what's your household rule?

[B]

Well, so first of all, screen time. Let's just let me go out there and say that screen time was my very best friend, which I did not anticipate when I, when my kids were little because I was like, I was strict about like screen time and how frequently we would watch shows and stuff. Especially as a first time mom, you're like, I'm gonna do this and I'm gonna do it, right? Like, you know, you're really like strong out of the gates with all of the things that you want, right? But in my house, like, especially as my son was sick, when my son was sick and He. Because for, for whoever's listening, my son had leukemia from the time he was three until he was six. And after his treatment, days and for weeks at times and months at times, he was really unwell. And there wasn't a whole lot he felt like doing a lot of the time other than lying on the couch and, and I had a. He was three, my little one was one, and there was a four. A ton of Mickey Mouse clubhouse being played and Paw patrol being played in, in the house and stuff. And it didn't. These, like, those two kids of mine specifically, like, can. We're okay with that. I think it's like everything deserves nuance, you know? So like, with your. Whatever circumstances that you are in specifically matters and, and, and, and which, what kid you are matter, what type of kid you have matters and that kind of thing. So there is no, like, I don't think one size fits all equation for any of these questions. Right. Anything ever, pretty much. Except for just be kind and stick.

[A]

Except for, yeah, yeah, yeah, don't bully.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, that was fine for them. Like, they didn't turn into zombies. They were okay with that. We had, like, it was structured in a way that was. It felt like a structure. Like, you can watch TV right now, but then it was like a set time where we were going to turn the TV off and we were going to have a snack and go in the backyard, like for a little while and then like, you know, whatever. It was just. It was a creation of structure around a time that there weren't a lot of rules for. I created structure with a very loose timeline around screens and stuff like that.

[A]

I mean, everything that you said is true no matter what. But like, of course, in no universe should you even consider worrying about something like screens if you're trying to figure out, like, how are we getting through this? Screens are like, absolutely a fantastic way to have cozy time. I mean, it's not even a, it's not even a question, but you're absolutely right. Like, you also have to know your family and your circumstances and what is screens taking away. So you said something very important, which is we're gonna get outside, we're gonna have a snack. Like, in general, the problem with screens isn't the screens themselves. And the problem with phones isn't the phones themselves. It's what is it taking you away from? And so outside of the extenuating circumstances of illness, generally speaking, you just want to make sure that no matter what your meal time. And again, caveat is if you have A kid who's not eating and sick and the screen is the only distraction that they can have, then who cares? Like, nothing matters except for they need to get their nutrients and. But if it's like a typically developing kid and all is going well, you want to avoid screen time during mealtime and sources of connection. You want to make sure they're getting outside and getting exercise. And you don't want to do it before bed or have screens or phones, certainly in the bedroom and at night and then everything else. Like, you can't overdo it if you have those limits. Like, you just can't. There's not enough hours in the day to do all of that, even with phones. Like, I'm less worried if somebody's like, I did let my 7th grader have a phone, but they aren't allowed to have it at school. They aren't allowed to look at it in the car when we're together driving. They can't, because that's like, time to connect. They can't use it during mealtime. They have to be outside an hour and a half a day and they need exercise and they have their homework and, and, and, and they don't get to have it at night. I'm not worried about them.

[B]

And they don't have social media.

[A]

And they don't have social media. Like, what are they gonna. What could possibly be the issue? The issue is that they'll be like, now I want the social media now I want this now I want more time with it. And you bend. And I think that that's where screens get tricky, is we forget that we, we could just be like, this is not working well. I'm gonna just take it away. And I was, it was too soon. But I'm not, I, I really think it's one of those things where we have more power than we realize to, to make sure that screens don't take away from all of the wonderful things that need to happen. And if they are, we have tremendous power to take them away from our kids and say, I think this isn't going well. I'm making the call. And it'll be, they might be mad at you. Like, you're not gonna get buy in necessarily. And I don't think our kids need to agree with all of our rules.

[B]

Yeah. In my house, what we've done in. Around the phones thing and stuff of a sixth grader and a fourth grader, and over the summer, like, and this was another question that I was kind of, I can loop this in with what we're talking about. Because people are also asking about how to give your kids more autonomy and freedom in today's world where. Where they need to be able to go out and do some things on their own and figure out, like, how to fail, how to succeed. Just figure out how to do shit on their own without your intervention constantly. But also without being so afraid of, like, not knowing where they are at every second, not having eyes on them constantly. Or like that the fear that we all have now because of how much crazy goes on.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I guess. So we decided. I gave our kids like a. We live in a safe place. So that should be like the first thing that I say where I had like, the ability to do that because of where we live. Like, that was an easy decision for me to give them more autonomy. Like, you can ride your bike to and from the activities that you have going on this summer and I'm not going to take you there. And you are responsible for getting yourself back and forth and pretty much kind of occupy yourself for the day until I pick Luki up at camp, our little one. And then we can all kind of come back together around 2:30. And because of that, I let my fourth grader also get an Apple watch so that we could be in touch if we needed to be.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And my sixth grader already had one. And my plan is to just use that as the mode of communication through pretty much high school. But I found, like, it's really helpful. I love that they have it. I love that we can get in touch with each other. It's a wonderful tool. Like, they can keep in touch with their friends, make plans with their friends autonomously without my intervention or having to, like, talk to the moms all the time, other moms all the time. And half of the time, like, they forget about it. Like, it's not a massive distraction.

[A]

So it's because if it doesn't have certain features on it, it's just not that exciting. I mean, the only thing is, is I think in the classroom I wouldn't want them to have it on because it's.

[B]

Yeah. They're not allowed to or.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I think most schools these days are pretty much on a cell phone ban. I don't.

[A]

Depending on where you are.

[B]

I don't know. Yeah.

[A]

But I do think that that gives. Giving them that. Like, it's so great that you have the kind of neighborhood where you're just like, okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Also it makes your life so much better.

[B]

Not everyone can do that. Like, I don't Live in a city. You know, I don't, but even in.

[A]

Like, in cities, if you know your neighborhood well, you know, and you know, the different checkpoints where you could be like, go into this building or this store if you need anything, you know, they can.

[B]

Yeah, there's a lot of safety in that.

[A]

Like, you might say fifth grade, like, in New York City. I might be like, you could start walking to school in fifth grade.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Or taking the bus or, like, a lot of people.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Public transportation. You know, where to. You know, what buildings to go into or what stores to go into if you. If you need anything. There's so many people around. I mean, I'm such a city person that I actually feel safer in the city than I do in the suburbs because I'm like, where are all the people? Yeah, it's crazy. I'm much. I have such a psychotic alarm system in Los Angeles. It's like, crazy. My security system, I'm just like, it's.

[B]

So spread out kind of thing.

[A]

So spread out, but. And my husband just got here, and he's like, what's this new thing that is, like, on the roof of the house that is so clearly like a giant camera with flashing light that has, like, an alarm system where the security guy. If somebody comes on, like, through the gate, it would say, like, you have trespassed on this property. And then an alarm goes off. It's so crazy. But, like, if you put me in New York City, I'm like. Like, don't even bring my key. What is wrong with me? I mean, like, I'm so. It's just because I was in high school in New York City, not in the suburbs.

[B]

Yeah, but I understand what you mean, because there are. There's like the. There's so many people around to potentially, like, step in, help, whatever, if something were to go wrong.

[A]

Yeah, we have to. We have to wrap up. Should we finish that part of the conversation, or do you feel like we finished it?

[B]

No, I think we can. We can move on from it. I mean, there's so much talk around the phones and stuff. There's so many resources out there now.

[A]

So many resources. And I think we have to remember we are an amazing resource for our kids because we don't have to be afraid of all of this. Like, I do. I love that. My daughter's school pouches, her phone. I am so grateful because then I don't have to think about all day. You know, screens need to be policing it, but I also feel like I don't care how crazy my kids have said I am that I take their phones at night. Until my daughter got to college a few weeks ago, she still had to give me her phone at night. She was 18. I mean I was. Well like at that point I. It wasn't a time because she was like by the time she was a senior in high school and 18 years old, it was like she, she knew that by 11 o' clock she had to bring it into my room. I was long asleep probably.

[B]

Yeah, that's what I mean. Like can you just go to sleep and make sure that they bring it in? Like.

[A]

Yes. Because it was like a feature of our household and it was a non negotiable. And I was like, or I can just keep your phone because you're not paying for it anyway.

[B]

So like you either give it to me before you go to sleep or it's here when I wake up in the morning or you know, you don't have a phone for a little while or whatever.

[A]

Yeah. So like this was it. It was a non issue because it was always the rule. I just never from the time they had a phone and, and if it's too late for somebody listening and they're like I can't do this cause we didn't before. I disagree. If they're in your house you can say like new rule like I take.

[B]

The phone at night and your daughter goes to Harvard. So.

[A]

And that's why.

[B]

Your lead.

[A]

It was. Cause I took the phone away at.

[B]

That is the, that's the, the key for everything. I was gonna say like we won't get through these today, but there are several more questions. I mean, should we do it again follow up episode? If you want to. Yeah, it's. There's stuff about button pushing and back tuck sleep training, talking to kids about shootings, anxiety, all of these other topics of things. So we can, we don't have to. We could tease it for another time. I mean about those things the next time.

[A]

Are you asking to do a special Q and A series?

[B]

Because now that I don't have my own podcast anymore, I mean where can I chit chat for long term?

[A]

We can do content all day. We'll have a part two.

[B]

Great.

[A]

We'll schedule it. Not on the podcast. I'm so excited to do that. I think it's so great you got great questions.

[B]

Yeah, there are probably a lot more now too because I only asked it like an hour ago and whatever two hours ago and. And there we have tons more to go through. Yeah, a lot of people were also like, I love this idea also. Yeah.

[A]

Like, we're so. We're so great for each other.

[B]

We are. I love you.

[A]

I love you.

[B]

Please note that this episode may contain.

[A]

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