My sobriety was unstable in the beginning—the time between putting down a drink and getting exposed to stories from other recovering alcoholics that helped me understand the pain underneath the alcoholism. It was during this time that I relapsed after my first stint at INOVA CATS detox facility. I wasn’t drinking to numb the pain, yet I didn’t yet understand the value of the pain.

Emotional sobriety is the work that is leftover after you put down the drink. When I stopped drinking, I was fearful, selfish, depressed, frustrated, and left to marinate in it all while I immersed myself in all that was recovery. After unsuccessfully staying sober after my first detox, the second time I made a decision that was absolute—I would do EVERYTHING that was suggested to stay sober.

Doing everything meant going to sobriety meetings, reading the literature at least 20 minutes per day, go to IOP (Intensive Outpatient Program), see an addiction therapist, get a sponsor, say yes to extracurricular sober activities and service opportunities, pick up the phone, talk about my thoughts and feelings, and roll a penny down the street with my nose (kidding – just seeing if you are still reading).

The reward of this work is emotional sobriety—serenity and joy—being able to say in a single moment, “There is nothing wrong right now. Absolutely everything in my life is just as it should be.”

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Visit me at ⁠⁠⁠recoverydailypodcast.com⁠⁠⁠ or email me at ⁠rachel@recoverydailypodcast.com⁠.

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