
Hosted by Carrie Holladay · EN
Why do we sometimes keep choosing partners who hurt us? In this episode, Carrie and David explore how the nervous system is wired to gravitate toward what feels familiar—even when it isn’t healthy. They unpack how early attachment wounds and the body’s longing for closure can unconsciously pull us back into similar relationship dynamics. Together they explain why this pattern isn’t a character flaw, but a nervous system adaptation, and how healing begins when we build self-trust, grieve old ruptures, and learn to recognize true safety instead of mistaking intensity for connection. Connect with Carrie: 📲 Instagram: @healwithcarriejean 🌿 Resiliently Rising Circle: https://www.resilientlyrising.com/circle ✨ Coaching: https://www.resilientlyrising.com/1-1-coaching 💛 Rebuilding Us: Nervous System Based Path to Healing Together After Betrayal - https://www.resilientlyrising.com/rebuildingus 🌀 Reclaiming Safety: Healing Nervous System After Betrayal Course – https://www.resilientlyrising.com/reclaimingsafety 🔅‘What You’re Wondering’ Q&A Submissions: https://forms.gle/MmwTxso6rJH4uuPN8 👉 Stay Connected & Keep Rising! 🎧 Music Credits: “Piano Soft Music” - Surpringing_SnapShots, Music by Mircea lancu from Pixabay
In this episode, Carrie sits down with former client for a powerful conversation about healing after betrayal trauma and leaving an abusive relationship. Together, they explore why healing often gets harder before it gets easier, how the nervous system protects through dissociation, minimizing, and intellectualizing, and why slowing down… rather than forcing progress… is essential for real change. The client reflects on key breakthroughs, including learning to work with her body, rebuilding attachment and self-trust, and shifting from external validation to a secure relationship with herself. This episode offers grounded insight into somatic healing, betrayal trauma recovery, attachment strategies, and nervous system regulation… along with honest reassurance for anyone in early survival mode. A hopeful reminder runs throughout the conversation… you don’t need all the answers to heal… you can trust your own wings and keep rising. Connect with Carrie: 📲 Instagram: @healwithcarriejean 🌿Resiliently Rising Circle: https://www.resilientlyrising.com/circle ✨ Coaching: https://www.resilientlyrising.com/1-1-coaching 💛 Rebuilding Us: Nervous System Based Path to Healing Together After Betrayal - https://www.resilientlyrising.com/rebuildingus 🌀 Reclaiming Safety: Healing Nervous System After Betrayal Course – https://www.resilientlyrising.com/reclaimingsafety 🔅‘What You’re Wondering’ Q&A Submissions: https://forms.gle/MmwTxso6rJH4uuPN8 👉 Stay Connected & Keep Rising! 🎧 Music Credits: “Piano Soft Music” - Surpringing_SnapShots, Music by Mircea lancu from Pixabay
In this episode, Carrie and David unpack why rumination is so common after betrayal… for both the betrayed and the betrayer. They explain how looping thoughts aren’t a sign you’re broken, but a nervous system trying to restore safety, coherence, and control after your world has been shaken. They explore the “open loop” effect that keeps your brain revisiting unanswered questions, the difference between thinking and feeling, and how rumination can sometimes protect you from deeper emotions like grief or shame. Most importantly, they share practical, body-based ways to interrupt the spiral. Connect with Carrie: 📲 Instagram: @healwithcarriejean 🌿Resiliently Rising Circle: https://www.resilientlyrising.com/circle ✨ Coaching: https://www.resilientlyrising.com/1-1-coaching 💛 Rebuilding Us: Nervous System Based Path to Healing Together After Betrayal - https://www.resilientlyrising.com/rebuildingus 🌀 Reclaiming Safety: Healing Nervous System After Betrayal Course – https://www.resilientlyrising.com/reclaimingsafety 🔅‘What You’re Wondering’ Q&A Submissions: https://forms.gle/MmwTxso6rJH4uuPN8 👉 Stay Connected & Keep Rising! 🎧 Music Credits: “Piano Soft Music” - Surpringing_SnapShots, Music by Mircea lancu from Pixabay
Episode Summary:In this month’s Somatic Safety Session, we focus on grounding… especially for moments when your system feels scattered, overwhelmed, or disconnected from your body. Betrayal trauma can pull you up and out of the present moment, leaving you feeling floaty, buzzy, or unanchored. In this gentle, trauma-informed practice, Carrie offers simple education about why this happens in the nervous system, followed by a guided grounding experience using the feet and containment. This session is an invitation to come back inside your body, at your own pace, without forcing calm… just creating a little more support and steadiness than before. You’re reminded throughout that your body leads, you can’t do this wrong, and even the smallest shifts matter. Connect with Carrie: 📲 Instagram: @healwithcarriejean ✨ Coaching: https://www.resilientlyrising.com/1-1-coaching 💛 Rebuilding Us: Nervous System Based Path to Healing Together After Betrayal - https://www.resilientlyrising.com/rebuildingus 🌀 Reclaiming Safety: Healing Nervous System After Betrayal Course – https://www.resilientlyrising.com/reclaimingsafety 🌿Membership: https://www.resilientlyrising.com/membership 🔅‘What You’re Wondering’ Q&A Submissions: https://forms.gle/MmwTxso6rJH4uuPN8 👉 Stay Connected & Keep Rising! 🎧 Music Credits: “Piano Soft Music” - Surpringing_SnapShots, Music by Mircea lancu from Pixabay
In this What You’re Wondering episode of the Resiliently Rising Podcast, we respond to a listener asking how to survive the “messy middle” of betrayal recovery… when both partners are healing, but neither is fully there yet. We talk honestly about why this phase feels so destabilizing… and why it’s often where the deepest change actually begins. We unpack what real self-care looks like during this season (hint… it’s more about capacity than bubble baths), how boundaries protect healing rather than punish, how to support kids with age-appropriate honesty, and what to watch for when you’re wondering, What if they never change? Connect with Carrie: 📲 Instagram: @healwithcarriejean ✨ Coaching: https://www.resilientlyrising.com/1-1-coaching 💛 Rebuilding Us: Nervous System Based Path to Healing Together After Betrayal - https://www.resilientlyrising.com/rebuildingus 🌀 Reclaiming Safety: Healing Nervous System After Betrayal Course – https://www.resilientlyrising.com/reclaimingsafety 🌿Membership: https://www.resilientlyrising.com/membership 🔅‘What You’re Wondering’ Q&A Submissions: https://forms.gle/MmwTxso6rJH4uuPN8 👉 Stay Connected & Keep Rising! 🎧 Music Credits: “Piano Soft Music” - Surpringing_SnapShots, Music by Mircea lancu from Pixabay
In this episode of the Resiliently Rising Podcast, Carrie Holladay talks with Tammy Gustafson, LPC - trauma-informed therapist, founder of Betrayal Healing / Live Free Counseling, host of the Betrayal Healing Conference, and author of Broken to Brave: Your Courageous Act of Healing After Intimate Betrayal. Tammy shares her personal betrayal story and what she’s learned from years of helping betrayed partners heal. Together, they unpack why betrayal trauma recovery can’t be rushed, what happens when we try to “forgive and move on” too fast, and why safety… not forced trust… is the true foundation of healing. Tammy also outlines her four phases of betrayal healing, including the “messy middle” and the often-overlooked roommate path when a partner isn’t fully doing the work. Connect with Tammy: https://www.instagram.com/tammylgustafson/ https://tammygustafson.com/ Connect with Carrie: 📲 Instagram: @healwithcarriejean ✨ Coaching: https://www.resilientlyrising.com/1-1-coaching 💛 Rebuilding Us: Nervous System Based Path to Healing Together After Betrayal - https://www.resilientlyrising.com/rebuildingus 🌀 Reclaiming Safety: Healing Nervous System After Betrayal Course – https://www.resilientlyrising.com/reclaimingsafety 🌿Membership: https://www.resilientlyrising.com/membership 🔅‘What You’re Wondering’ Q&A Submissions: https://forms.gle/MmwTxso6rJH4uuPN8 👉 Stay Connected & Keep Rising! 🎧 Music Credits: “Piano Soft Music” - Surpringing_SnapShots, Music by Mircea lancu from Pixabay
In this episode, Carrie and David talk about why silence after betrayal doesn’t feel neutral…it feels like being left alone in the wreckage. They explore what’s happening in the nervous system for both the betrayed partner and the betrayer, why avoidance can come from fear and shame, and how “not wanting to make it worse” can actually deepen the disconnect. You’ll hear what helps instead…how to initiate check-ins without turning them into conflict, how to stay present with discomfort, and what real repair looks like when it’s built on consistency, honesty, and felt safety rather than performance. Connect with Carrie: 📲 Instagram: @healwithcarriejean ✨ Coaching: https://www.resilientlyrising.com/1-1-coaching 💛 Rebuilding Us: Nervous System Based Path to Healing Together After Betrayal - https://www.resilientlyrising.com/rebuildingus 🌀 Reclaiming Safety: Healing Nervous System After Betrayal Course – https://www.resilientlyrising.com/reclaimingsafety 🌿Membership: https://www.resilientlyrising.com/membership 🔅‘What You’re Wondering’ Q&A Submissions: https://forms.gle/MmwTxso6rJH4uuPN8 👉 Stay Connected & Keep Rising! 🎧 Music Credits: “Piano Soft Music” - Surpringing_SnapShots, Music by Mircea lancu from Pixabay
Episode Summary: Somatic Safety Session: Come Back Into Your Body | Orienting + Felt Sense Betrayal trauma can pull you out of your body and into survival mode — hypervigilance, overthinking, numbness, or overwhelm. This gentle, trauma-informed somatic practice is designed to help you slowly and safely come back into the present moment. ✨ In this practice, you’ll experience: • Gentle education on how betrayal trauma affects the nervous system • Orienting to help your body recognize safety in the present moment • Felt Sense guidance to reconnect with your body at your own pace • Slow pacing, pause cues, and permission to modify or stop at any time This practice is supportive if you’re healing from betrayal, feeling disconnected from your body, or living in constant alertness. Connect with Carrie: 📲 Instagram: @healwithcarriejean ✨ Coaching: https://www.resilientlyrising.com/1-1-coaching 💛 Rebuilding Us: Nervous System Based Path to Healing Together After Betrayal - https://www.resilientlyrising.com/rebuildingus 🌀 Reclaiming Safety: Healing Nervous System After Betrayal Course – https://www.resilientlyrising.com/reclaimingsafety 🌿Membership: https://www.resilientlyrising.com/membership 🔅‘What You’re Wondering’ Q&A Submissions: https://forms.gle/MmwTxso6rJH4uuPN8 👉 Stay Connected & Keep Rising! 🎧 Music Credits: “Piano Soft Music” - Surpringing_SnapShots, Music by Mircea lancu from Pixabay
In this first What You’re Wondering episode, Carrie and David respond to a listener’s question about what happens when there’s a slip or relapse during betrayal healing. They explore why healing isn’t linear, how any return to secrecy or unsafe behavior impacts the nervous system of the betrayed partner, and why arguing over labels matters far less than addressing impact and restoring safety. From both perspectives, they talk honestly about shame, fear, transparency, and repair…and share what actually helps couples navigate these moments with clarity, compassion, and structure. The episode emphasizes that setbacks don’t erase progress…and that trust is rebuilt through honesty, responsibility, and consistent repair, not perfection. Connect with Carrie: 📲 Instagram: @healwithcarriejean ✨ Coaching: https://www.resilientlyrising.com/1-1-coaching 💛 Rebuilding Us: Nervous System Based Path to Healing Together After Betrayal - https://www.resilientlyrising.com/rebuildingus 🌀 Reclaiming Safety: Healing Nervous System After Betrayal Course – https://www.resilientlyrising.com/reclaimingsafety 🌿Membership: https://www.resilientlyrising.com/membership 🔅‘What You’re Wondering’ Q&A Submissions: https://forms.gle/MmwTxso6rJH4uuPN8 👉 Stay Connected & Keep Rising! 🎧 Music Credits: “Piano Soft Music” - Surpringing_SnapShots, Music by Mircea lancu from Pixabay
In this episode, Carrie sits down with licensed clinical nutritionist Devon Ragan to explore what really happens in your gut, hormones, and nervous system when you’ve lived through chronic stress and trauma. Devon shares her own story of burnout and loss, the link between trauma, IBS, autoimmune issues, and “mystery” symptoms, and why so many women are dismissed or misdiagnosed even when their bodies are clearly screaming for help. Together they unpack cortisol, adrenal burnout, cycle syncing, gut health, and how trauma shows up physically... then bring it back to gentle, realistic steps like eating regularly, simple supportive foods, and small nervous system “glimmers” you can build into your day. If you’ve ever felt “crazy” for how off your body feels after betrayal or long term stress... this conversation will help you feel validated, informed, and a little more empowered in your own body. Connect with Devon: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/devon.ragan.nutritionist/ https://www.devonragan.com/ Connect with Carrie: 📲 Instagram: @healwithcarriejean ✨ Coaching: https://www.resilientlyrising.com/1-1-coaching 💛 Rebuilding Us: Nervous System Based Path to Healing Together After Betrayal - https://www.resilientlyrising.com/rebuildingus 🌀 Reclaiming Safety: Healing Nervous System After Betrayal Course – https://www.resilientlyrising.com/reclaimingsafety 🌿Membership: https://www.resilientlyrising.com/membership 🔅‘What You’re Wondering’ Q&A Submissions: https://forms.gle/MmwTxso6rJH4uuPN8 👉 Stay Connected & Keep Rising! 🎧 Music Credits: “Piano Soft Music” - Surpringing_SnapShots, Music by Mircea lancu from Pixabay