A (1:40)

I was so locked in, in a way you can't even. So I've been watching so much of her and Zara, but Olivia Dean had such a you moment. They go, what are the three things that you need in a man? Like your non negotiables. And she goes, oh, I have a lot more than three. Whoa. And I thought, wow.

B (1:56)

Wow. She's seen my list.

A (1:57)

You listening over there? Oh, yeah, Our producer. What's your name? We just go into these random places. I don't even know you, stranger. Hi, Paul.

B (2:06)

That's Paul.

A (2:07)

I love Fiddler on the Roof.

B (2:08)

Paul had to watch me have a complete meltdown over one of the ads. I won't say which one.

A (2:13)

Sometimes it is like, I don't know if we're like.

B (2:16)

Well, it's so intimate to like do an ad read in front of somebody off the bat.

A (2:21)

Instead you have to go, we should strip naked in front of them consensually and just let them see us laid bare and then restart the pod. What's your take on that, Paul?

B (2:31)

He's not. You can turn up the volume a tiny bit in headphones. Just a little bit.

A (2:36)

Oh, you want to hear that?

B (2:37)

So something I would like to declare on the podcast.

A (2:44)

It's in the truck.

B (2:46)

Dead man Walking.

A (2:47)

So you're. Oh, Dead man walking. It's a knives out mystery.

B (2:50)

I love it. At the end of the day, it's a knives out mystery.

A (2:53)

I loved watching it. I watched it with my sister and her hubby in their house. And my sister has this massive dog. He's so gorgeous. Name's Clark. He laid on me and I ate Skinny Pop and I had a margarita and I watched Josh o'. Connor. Absolutely body. An American accent.

B (3:10)

Yeah. Oh, my God.

A (3:11)

Fantastic.

B (3:12)

Yeah.

A (3:12)

He didn't really. He was so good in it. For a second I thought, is he not British? I was like, wow, he's really.

B (3:18)

He had you questioning everything.

A (3:19)

Well, I said, can someone tell his face?

B (3:21)

Yeah.

A (3:21)

No, not in a bad way.

B (3:24)

No. He's so British looking.

A (3:25)

You know what I mean?

B (3:26)

He's so British looking. I just think, can someone tell his face? It has an under.

A (3:31)

Could it be more that. It's.

B (3:32)

Of course I know, but because it's you, it's obviously, you know that I'm.

A (3:36)

Just like, there's just no way that guy isn't British.

B (3:38)

No, of course.

A (3:38)

I'm just like, there's something.

B (3:39)

He's British and his bones. His bones are British.

A (3:42)

Like, if I found out you weren't from Connecticut, I'd be like, can someone tell her face?

B (3:45)

Yeah, someone tell her face. Face.

A (3:47)

Yeah.

B (3:47)

What I would like to tell people with our beautiful community that we have. So I think we need a scale for, like, things being, quote, bad for you. Because someone, like, literally stopped me in the middle of the street and was like, oat milk is bad for you. And I'm like, okay, smoking is bad for you.

A (4:05)

Yeah.

B (4:05)

Cigarettes are bad for you. Vaping is bad for you.

A (4:07)

Tanning beds are, I guess, bad for you.

B (4:10)

But I need to know, like, how bad, like, is oat milk going to kill me?

A (4:14)

How bad? How bad? Wait, how bad?

B (4:17)

How bad?

A (4:17)

No. Oat milk is, like, maybe going to give you, like, a little bit bad skin. And I think it potentially does something with, like, histamine.

B (4:24)

Everything's bad for you.

A (4:25)

I just love to beat off to these new products. Do you remember when avocado dropped? When avocado toast dropped?

B (4:31)

Remember when hummus dropped?

A (4:32)

Don't even. I just got chills. Do you remember when kale dropped?

B (4:35)

Stop, girl.

A (4:37)

Kale had an incredible publicist.

B (4:39)

Kale had an amazing run. It's over.

A (4:41)

But I know now because Martha Stewart said it makes her bloat and fart and get gassy.

B (4:47)

I think A lot of people amplified.

A (4:50)

If these walls could talk.

B (4:51)

If these walls could talk, they would say, kale makes me bloat.

A (4:55)

Doesn't for me. I don't know. Maybe I don't notice, but it does.

B (4:58)

I'm just kidding.

A (4:59)

Oh, it does. Oh, thank you. Here's the thing.

B (5:04)

Yeah.

A (5:05)

I agree with what you're saying because it's also like. It's just fear. It's a culture of fear. So everyone, like, finds a new thing that's apparently terrible for you. So it's like, take a probiotic. And then people are like, God, don't. And then now it's like, you need to, like, consume more fiber. And then they're like, you'll over consume.

B (5:21)

It, and then he'll shit out your fucking brain. You'll shit your rectum out.

A (5:25)

Yeah. I don't know. Or like, it's alcohol. It's like. And then there was that one. There was some study that all wine drinkers just love a few years ago about how one glass of wine a day, like, prevents you from having Alzheimer's or something.

B (5:37)

How many people are just doing one glass? Riddle me that.

A (5:40)

Y' all aren't acting like you're having one glass.

B (5:42)

No, this is big glass, I guess.

A (5:44)

Whoa. Big glass. I guess. Someone tell his face.

B (5:49)

Someone should tell his face.

A (5:50)

I want it on record, I guess now, after saying that, that I think Josh o' Connor is extremely handsome.

B (5:54)

It's that sort of a objective. I feel like it's not subjective.

A (5:58)

Yeah. Agreed.

B (5:59)

Speaking of fear mongering. And we're agreed.

A (6:01)

Amplified.

B (6:02)

Amplified. This gets into what we ride for. We were in Puerto Rico on Saturday morning and we went to Cafe Regina, which, I know I'm pronouncing it correctly, but Regina, nasty.

A (6:12)

But it's Ragina.

B (6:13)

This was before we were supposed to fly out, which was on Sunday, but after the Venezuela. The head of Venezuela, the guy in charge, had been abducted by the American government, which just want to say we don't condone in any way.

A (6:23)

No, I wasn't laughing at that. I'm laughing about what you're about to say.

B (6:26)

So this woman comes up and asks if she can pet Pinky. Which, of course, because Pinky is for. Pinky's family style. She's for everyone.

A (6:32)

She's. She's family style. But I. I was kind of, by the end of the day, like, at the airport, I'm like, let's hide the dog. No, put the dog in the bag.

B (6:40)

She's popular. She is popular.

A (6:45)

I just got chills from that I'm gonna be popular. That was incredible. I've never heard you, like, enunciate like such.

B (6:53)

Thanks. So this woman, she's standing really close to me, and she's like, you know we're never gonna get out of here, right?

A (6:59)

Oh, yeah.

B (6:59)

These people on Friday, you know, they brought the guy here last night.

A (7:04)

He's here.

B (7:04)

That's why we can't get out my place.

A (7:07)

I told you, I don't trust anyone who has some kind of contraption on their arm that's not a cast or something. You know what I mean? It was like. It was. She bought it herself. I just didn't trust it. She had some kind of, like, sling.

B (7:20)

It was like a brace.

A (7:21)

It was like a brace, but it was one of those.

B (7:23)

It was.

A (7:24)

Yeah, yeah. They have those, like. You know what I mean? It just. I was like, something about that she had really scary eyes, and it was so, like, person. You mean in Whole Foods, at the start of COVID he was like, hey, you know. And they've already shaved their head. Like, she was just not clean. No. 100%.

B (7:43)

You can never get the hair clean.

A (7:44)

Did you hear about Long Covid? I'm like, yeah, sorry. I'm trying to get my fudgeing coffee. I'm not doing this right now.

B (7:51)

She's like, the earliest flight out is Friday. Good luck.

A (7:54)

Hope you got your hotel for the week. We'll be sleeping on the beach. It. I'm like, who is this woman? Pinky, Pinky.

B (8:01)

Give me our pinky.

A (8:02)

Come here, girl.

B (8:03)

Yeah, yeah. So that was just a personality type I haven't encountered in a while. She was very much like, get the canned soup. Get the water bottles that buy out.

A (8:11)

All the toilet paper. Do you remember that?

B (8:14)

God, what did they think was going to happen? They were going to stop producing it.

A (8:19)

Yeah. I think they had seen, like, a quiet place and, like, all the, like, grocery stores and bodegas and that.

B (8:23)

I have to say, quiet place is what happen. Toilet paper ain't gonna save us.

A (8:28)

No. Oh, my God. I can't believe. If it was all about being quiet, I would be, like, almost laughing all the time.

B (8:35)

And what about when you have to toot?

A (8:37)

Oh, girl. I'd go, that's how I commit suicide.

B (8:42)

You rip breath. You go out in the middle of an empty field and you rip out.

A (8:49)

Don't.

B (8:50)

That's what John Krasinski should have said.

A (8:52)

I'm standing on the train tracks.

B (8:53)

I love all those movies.

A (8:55)

Do you understand? I think they're the best movies ever. I Was watching a movie.

B (8:58)

I was watching a movie on a plane and I saw someone in front of me to where I could see through the seat watching a quiet place. I literally turned off the movie I was watching, and it turned on quiet. I just was like, I gotta watch this movie right now.

A (9:09)

A hundred percent. That happened to me with. I was just on a flight and someone was watching Crazy Rich Asians, and I completely locked in.

B (9:14)

Whoa.

A (9:15)

You just got water everywhere, girl. Oh, my God.

B (9:18)

My favorite flick.

A (9:19)

It's the best.

B (9:20)

John Chu.

A (9:20)

It was so fun. John Chu. It was so fun to just watch. And honestly, like, oh, did I tell you about the guy next to me who was watching all of Overcompensating? But I looked so butt. I. I just.

B (9:30)

You didn't want to acknowledge that it was you.

A (9:32)

Well, no, but I couldn't. And also, I. There was no way he was gonna clock that it was me. Let me tell you. I did not look like whoever was on screen.

B (9:39)

We're off season right now, so we're off season. I look so gigantic. And I don't care if that's, like, problematic to say. I could say how I feel. Do you get that?

A (9:50)

Yeah, honey, I look tan.

B (9:52)

And when people see the video, they're going to go, maybe it's because you're wearing pants that are seven sizes too big for you. I do what I want.

A (9:59)

I like them baggy. That's me to my mom.

B (10:02)

I got these from moth food, so I'm pretty sure these were worn. I actually don't even have a joke.

A (10:09)

I know exactly where it was going. We can all think about it. And we all, like, there's a lot of paint.

B (10:14)

I think that. I think that, yeah, whoever wore these pants did a lot of work out in the fields, you know, chopping down cornstalks and whatnot.

A (10:22)

I think those were in Dime Square.

B (10:24)

No, he thinks. No, you're right. You're right. A Nepo baby painted a painting in these or something. Yeah, he got a lot of grease on them, too.

A (10:32)

Yeah. And it was. Yeah. Male painter, straight. He has a studio, and it's huge. Oh, it's such a big painting.

B (10:40)

Oh, I meant the studio. But the painting.

A (10:42)

But the painting's so big, it's completely useless.

B (10:45)

I would like to say something. You know how people write letters like, dear so and so?

A (10:49)

Yes.

B (10:50)

Dear phone.

A (10:50)

Dear John.

B (10:51)

Dear John. Dear phone. No, I cannot sit still for two seconds because I'm taking a photo of a dog and a person and they're both moving and I'm Capturing a moment.

A (11:01)

No, I'm. I don't work for you. I don't work for you.

B (11:05)

You're working for me.

A (11:06)

For me. You know what? Cars.

B (11:07)

You don't see her anywhere.

A (11:10)

Literally. Here's.

B (11:12)

You're working for me.

A (11:14)

Here's my. You are so Dakota Fanning from Uptown Girl. And I'm so Brittany Murphy. I miss her. I love her.

B (11:21)

Did you see David lachapelle just did a big post about her? No, she made it.

A (11:25)

Oh, my God. I love. Yeah. Wow. She's just. I think that's such a brilliant movie. Yeah, it's kind of like when cars get all mad about the seat belts. It's like, okay, well, I used to have. So when I used to drive in la, my car would do this thing where in some areas it'd be like, the WI fi shut down. Like, you're not allowed. You better not be using your phone. And I'm just like, I pay for you.

B (11:46)

What does that mean? The car can just do that.

A (11:48)

That was like telling on me to the police. I don't know. It was just like federal regulations restrict you from doing that here.

B (11:55)

Dear Audi, a cab. Love, Mary Beth and Benny. So, yeah, when the phone tells me to hold still for two seconds, you're not understanding what the. What, what is the purpose of an image? It's to capture a moment that's currently happening. Do you get that? Phone things going on? What?

A (12:11)

Okay, good.

B (12:12)

He. He's leaving.

A (12:13)

Yeah.

B (12:13)

He's like, I'm done with you guys.

A (12:14)

Paul's like, I know that we don't align politically.

B (12:17)

We don't align politically. He loves that the iPhone does that.

A (12:21)

Yeah. He's like, my family did that. That's my family.

B (12:24)

Patent Instagram. No, actually, I can't.

A (12:28)

I can't either.

B (12:29)

I can't get into it.

A (12:30)

I just think social media. I just need a little. I need some time.

B (12:34)

Sympathy is a knife and social media is a prison.

A (12:36)

It's a knife, Gwen.

B (12:37)

It's a knife, Gwen.

A (12:39)

Gwen. It's a knife, Gwen. Should we get into what we ride for?

B (12:42)

I think so.

A (12:43)

Which is carpool.

B (12:45)

Puerto Rico.

A (12:48)

It's like us presenting spring break to like our friend group, Puerto Rico Senorita.

B (12:55)

We have a new bleepa and it comes in a can. Who needs a boyfriend when you have senorita? You know what I'm saying?

A (13:01)

But if you friend won't stop drinking senoritas, she's drunk me out of them. I used to have a pack in the fridge.

B (13:08)

I'm drinking many out of House and home. Say goodbye to hangxiety once and for all with Senorita THC Margaritas. Senorita THC Margaritas are non alcoholic margaritas that swap tequila for thc. Oh yeah.

A (13:19)

Delicious.

B (13:20)

Crafted by winemakers with real juice, organic agave and a touch of pink salt that me and my cousins just go completely gaga for.

A (13:27)

I mean, we were going ape shit at Thanksgiving. I was like, I asked you guys what you're thankful for and you're all saying senorita. I mean, come on, it's a little much.

B (13:36)

You've heard of impact? Yes.

A (13:37)

Yes.

B (13:38)

If you're looking for alcohol alternatives, senorita is a great option because it's non alcoholic. Plainly put. Yeah, low calories still gives you a chill buzz. It has gotten with the homemade agave, right? Yeah, I just said that.

A (13:50)

God, I love agave. Oh God, I love agave.

B (13:54)

It won't ruin tomorrow way too.

A (13:57)

You talking about me?

B (13:59)

No. You know what? I thought of that. Share quote About Dax Shepard it's you with every guy I've ever dated, basically, except Edward. There must be something I just don't see.

A (14:07)

There's got to be something I don't see that's gonna me with any girl I meet and her lover.

B (14:10)

Her lover.

A (14:11)

Yeah.

B (14:12)

So talk about that with your bestie as you crack open a can of senorita margaritas. I love that I can bring senorita to a party or hang and everyone still thinks I'm drinking so they won't give me the business this year.

A (14:23)

It's like, leave people alone. And especially if they have a senorita in their hands.

B (14:27)

So for a better buzz without the booze, check out senorita drinks dot com. Must be 21 plus. Please enjoy responsibly. Pinky's getting jealous that I'm doing these ads and she wants to do the ads too. That's why she's growling at me. But Pinky can't talk. If she could, I know she'd be telling you right now about Article. I've talked about article at length. You know, I have article products in my home. I have my couch here. I have my lamps. Oh my God. That was horrible. Y' all should really know this by now. Article offers a curated range of mid century, modern, coastal and Scandi inspired pieces that not only shine on their own, but also pair seamlessly with nearly any other article product or even products that you currently own that aren't from article. It's all just super cohesive. Article takes great care in curating its collection focusing solely on high quality, meaningful pieces that will stand the test of time. There's also fast oh affordable shipping and Assembly Article offers fast, affordable shipping across the US and Canada. Sorry, other baronies outside the US and Canada. Maybe one day with options for professional assembly. If you prefer a hands off experience with articles 30 days pinky satisfaction guarantee. You can shop with confidence knowing that if you're not completely in love with your new furniture, you can easily return it. If you're in the market for a beautiful new sofa, dining table or bed, head over to article.com that's right, article.com and guess what? They have support when you need it. I'm going to talk about that for seven seconds. If you have a question or need help with your design choices, Article's customer care team is available seven days a week. Shop@article.com if you want the best demand can get. Article hey you guys. I know y' all were mad at me for eating in the last episode, so I don't think we ate in this one, but I am currently eating a sweet green salad. Right now I'm with Pinky and I'm about to perform stand up comedy at Tufts University. But before I do that, I wanted to let you know that this podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all in one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just starting out or scaling your business, Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain, showcase your offerings with a professional website, grow your brand, and get paid all in one place. No, I'm being so for real right now. I use Squarespace. If you want to go see what Squarespace has to offer for us girls, literally go to Mary Beth Barone.com Cutting Edge Design so with Squarespace's collection of cutting edge tools, anyone can build a beautiful professional online presence that perfectly fits their brand or business. Go check mine out to see for yourself. There's also Videos. Squarespace makes it easy to showcase your expertise and engage clients with video content on your website, upload and organize your videos, create stunning video libraries, and even monetize your content by adding a paywall. The other thing I wanted to let you know is that there's email campaigns. So if you've ever received an email from me that was sent through Squarespace email campaigns, it usually says from the desk of Mary Beth Barone. And at the bottom it says all typos or creative decision. I mean, if you're not convinced to get a Squarespace website right now, Like, I don't even know what to do tell you. Head to squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you're ready to Launch, go to www.squarespace.com ride. Use offer code RIDE to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

A (17:44)

Get in. It's a carpool.

B (17:46)

Okay, but I'm driving carpool.

A (17:49)

Puerto Rico.

B (17:51)

Wow.

A (17:51)

You had a.

B (17:52)

Let me count the ways.

A (17:53)

Let me count the ways. Here's the thing. So we were trying to find a place to go. We had been planning a trip together for a long time, but. But they never tell you about New Year's. You better plan about 12 months in advance. You start planning now, mama.

B (18:04)

If you want to go somewhere warm. It seems like nobody wants to be in the city they live in for New Year's. It's like, even the cold weather places were pretty booked up. Like, Paris was on our list as well. And it just felt like, you're fucked.

A (18:16)

I'm so glad we went somewhere warm, though.

B (18:18)

Me, too.

A (18:19)

And Puerto Rico, I don't even know how it fell into our lap, but I was just looking at warm places and I had always wanted to go there.

B (18:24)

You googled warm places?

A (18:26)

Well, I just looked up, like, places that are actually really hot right now. Yeah. Because everyone will be like a beach vacation. Then you go there and it's like seven. It's like 60 and raining the whole time. Like, you know the trip I took what was like four years ago. I'm not going to say the place. I don't want to ruin tourism there. But it rained the entire time because Benny Drama saying that it rains somewhere, the city will shut down.

B (18:45)

Yeah.

A (18:46)

I mean, they won't have any more tours.

B (18:47)

I mean, their economy is in the toilet. They've just declared bankruptcy.

A (18:52)

But I have this visual of me ziplining. Did I already talk about this?

B (18:57)

I think you did, but I can't remember now. We said so much.

A (19:01)

It was athletic. I know. We've said so much.

B (19:02)

I watched our clips last night. I went on TikTok because I. After my show, I was wired. I was laughing. Yeah, yeah.

A (19:09)

I mean, you're fantastic.

B (19:10)

No, you are killing me.

A (19:11)

No.

B (19:12)

Yes, you are.

A (19:13)

No, no, you. No, no, you.

B (19:16)

No. Everything. It's your everything.

A (19:18)

You're so everything. People meeting me. So, okay, I ziplined in this place and it was. It was like monsooning, but I don't know. And I kept asking the tour guides. I'm like, is this, like, fine to do? Like, we can hang it up?

B (19:33)

Like, it's like, it's lightning.

A (19:34)

Yeah. I was like, I think we're good. Like, I actually don't really need to do this, but it was, like, athletic. They're like, go. Hooked, Go. I'm on there. It's completely it. My balls were like a foot from each other. It was like they had so many.

B (19:49)

Well, you're no longer able to conceive.

A (19:51)

Children, and I'm good. Don't want them. It was. Oh, my God. And the rain. And it was just like. No part of it was enjoyable in any way. But. Yeah. So I had all that in the back of my head. So I was thinking, truly, sun.

B (20:04)

Yeah.

A (20:05)

Would love somewhere relatively close to get to, because I feel like sometimes, like, the travel of it all, especially during the holidays, kind of can be hellish.

B (20:12)

And you don't want to eat up two days of the trip with flights.

A (20:14)

No. And then Puerto Rico, and I found this company called Dreamers Welcome. They're LGBTQIA owned, and they have a series of hotels, and then they had a house. And so we went to the house, and it was just, like, truly a dream vacation. I love Puerto Rico so much. I love the people. I love the food. I have so many recommendations for places if people want to go there. I've just been yapping about it all week because everyone has been clocking the tan.

B (20:40)

Everyone's in clocking the tan. And what I would like to say about Puerto Rico, I mean, I have so many things to say. So we were in San Juan. We were in the city, which was about a 25 minute walk from the beach, which is the perfect length of time for me to take Pinky.

A (20:52)

You're taking Pinky?

B (20:53)

Oh, yeah.

A (20:53)

Pinky came.

B (20:54)

Oh, my God. Pinky came because the house was pet friendly and the backyard was fenced in in a way that felt like, so. Like, just not that she could, like, jump over a fence. Like, the walls were really high.

A (21:04)

It was big. Yeah.

B (21:05)

Excuse me. So she was just outside, like, laying in the sun on these little rocks and just, like, living her best life. And the way she was so calm, like, allowed me to really, truly relax. You have an eyelash.

A (21:17)

All my wishes came true, Paul.

B (21:23)

I loved so many aspects. The house was beautifully decorated, thoughtful design curated, born in reaction to.

A (21:30)

Oh, sorry. It was fabulous. Every part of the house was fabulous. There were, like, hammocks where you wanted them. The plants were gorgeous. The art was, like, sexy and, like, very. Call me by your name. I don't know. It had. It had a guadagnino.

B (21:42)

It was gay. And sexual.

A (21:43)

It was gay and sexual. There was a hot tub.

B (21:45)

Movie room.

A (21:46)

Movie room.

B (21:47)

So beautiful.

A (21:48)

Oh, the bathrooms were, like, such good selfie lighting. I just, like, every part of the house was fabulous. And I felt very central to where we're going.

B (21:55)

Me too.

A (21:56)

And oh, my God, there's this place, Cafe Rahina, where we got coffee every morning. And then was it Hilda, where we got sandwiches and this little market. Oh, my God. You go Cafe Regina and then you go to Hilda. And I treated Hilda like a grocery store.

B (22:10)

Oh, well, you know, they had Bjorn corn at Hilda.

A (22:12)

Oh, sweetie. They had everything.

B (22:14)

They had everything.

A (22:15)

The chips that base themselves on longevity.

B (22:17)

Oh. So Benny comes to the beach after having grocery shopped. He bought cured meats and a bag of chips. And on the chips, on the chips it said snacks. Rooted in the tradition of longevity.

A (22:29)

Would I buy any other kind of.

B (22:30)

Chip that sounds straight out of the mouth of Billy Shakespeare?

A (22:34)

Yeah, absolutely. That's got Billy Stank on it.

B (22:37)

I couldn't stop saying it. Snacks rooted in the tradition of Longev.

A (22:40)

Oh, my God. I just thought about our reef flip flops. Reef flip flops. Eating a sweet potato chip with your bestie on the beach. And oh, my God, you guys, I had the best view. So the waves were kind of intense in this beach. We went to Mary Beth. They were kicking her.

B (22:53)

I voted on that.

A (22:54)

They were kicking Mary Beth's ass. I loved it. And the water's warm there.

B (22:59)

It's warm.

A (22:59)

Everyone. Oh, my God. Everyone there is so sweet and beautiful and like, oh, my God. Every restaurant. Do you remember El Masai?

B (23:06)

Every meal we had was immaculate. Reservations by reservation king over here.

A (23:10)

Which is so unlikely.

B (23:12)

You really took it upon yourself to, like, do all the planning, and you kept sending stuff. And I was just like, literally, whatever you want to do. Like, I'm just along for the ride. I will say about the beach. So we met some locals on the Friday night. We did like a night Crazy night out. We ended up at karaoke. And it. All the songs sounded like the original song to me because they were all in espanol.

A (23:31)

Yeah.

B (23:31)

Like, I didn't know them. So it was like all professional singers.

A (23:33)

Yeah. I was like, you guys have bars.

B (23:35)

But they told us that the beach where we were going every single day, they were like, oh, you don't swim in those waters. Yeah, you don't go to that beach if you want to swim because it's genuinely. The waves are so strong and terrifying. So I would say maybe read up on the beaches, see if you want to take an excursion out of the city. For me, being in San Juan, and I like it, too. I like waves. I went to Cayman Islands last summer, and I loved the beach because it was very calm. But that's the vacation that I wanted. I wouldn't want rough waves when I'm by myself, because then if I, you know, go under.

A (24:03)

Oh, don't even say that.

B (24:04)

Sorry. No one's looking for me. But I loved being at the beach with. With my guys, and I feel like it was. It's such, like, a hidden gem. And maybe I'm just stupid for. For saying it's hidden, but to me, I. I just never been there.

A (24:16)

I know.

B (24:17)

And I've been to so many beaches and cities, and I loved that we had both in San Juan, and I think it's good. The reason that I really wanted to talk about it on the podcast is because I know that our listeners are very conscientious travelers. So obviously, there are a lot of areas where the locals don't love tourism so much, because people come to their city and their beach, and they treat it like a trash can. Like they're disrespectful, they are entitled.

A (24:43)

They're not being those chips based in longevity. Home with us.

B (24:46)

We sure did.

A (24:47)

We didn't leave them at the beach.

B (24:48)

No, ma'.

A (24:48)

Am.

B (24:49)

And so I just think it's nice. And when we talk to people that were from there, it seemed like they really love to be able to be so proud of their country and share it. But I just feel like it's just important to get tourists, especially from, you know, the continental United States. If you're going to go there, tip well, eat local.

A (25:08)

It's called spreading love.

B (25:09)

And. And, of course, spread love and. And stimulate that economy a little bit. I just think, like, yeah, there's, you know, there's people that are like, oh, you're not supposed to go to Hawaii anymore. And now I guess they're, like, destroying. Tourists are destroying the coral reef in, like, Australia. So I think they closed it.

A (25:24)

Yeah.

B (25:25)

And it's just like, we. It doesn't have to be that way.

A (25:27)

No, just stop, like, expecting. I think the one thing that Americans, I think, tend to do is arrive somewhere. It's like, I'm on vacation. I do whatever the fuck I want. It's like, no, someone lives here. So, like, be a human being who cares about other people. Like, have respect and be thoughtful for, you know, queer people traveling. I think sometimes there is the question of, like, oh, is this safe for me? Can I do this. And the fact that it was owned by queer people made me feel really safe for us there. And also, like, they gave so many recommendations of like, gay bars and places that were just. And I just felt like a very, like, inviting, beautiful. I just felt comfortable the whole time being.

B (26:02)

Well, you thought gay, man. You thought that the Uber wouldn't pick you up because first Uber. Gay guys. But it was because you're covered in sand.

A (26:09)

It's because I was covered in sand. They don't pick you up from the beach. Some of the Ubers were like, we don't want sand in the car. And I was like, totally respect that. I think it's because I am queer as folks. Bending drum on.

B (26:18)

No, they said it's a cleanliness issue.

A (26:20)

Yeah, they said, absolutely. They said, hey, love overcompensating. Come on.

B (26:24)

Thing I will say is because it's an island, like, we would go to the restaurant and be like, oh, can we get like the salmon? And then a couple minutes later, the waiter would come back and be like, we don't have that.

A (26:34)

So it's not here. But I loved that. Something about that. I'm like, good. It's not just like, we're not over ordering.

B (26:39)

No. And guess what? You're going to look at that menu. You're going to. You're going to pick something else. Expect the unexpected.

A (26:44)

Soina Alfondo was like one of the best meals I've had.

B (26:48)

We should make a travel guide because I don't remember the names and I don't say them out of respect to the Spanish language. Yeah, because you've heard. Try. I thought you did great. Thanks, Benito. But we'll make a little list.

A (27:01)

I'm on a video set with the flu and I'm gonna do an AG1 ad read. And this is one of those moments where you sit with yourself and you just think, there were so many, so many different decisions. Doors opened, doors closed. That led me to this moment to do this ad read. And here I am. And I'm actually wondering too what Mary Best ads were like this week. I'm here with Jake Samis. Say hi, Jake.

B (27:25)

Hey, guys.

A (27:26)

AG1, he wants his fee. So, AG1, there is no right time for better health. Right, Jake Samus, there's just now, AG1 is the easiest and most impactful habit you can implement this year. I use this every single day. And you should too. By the way. AG1 now comes in original citrus berry and tropical. My favorite's berry because I'm gay. But experiment with the Flavors. They're all delicious. AG1 is the opposite of complexity. Just like me. 20 seconds. One scoop. Eight ounces of water. Done. Drink it first thing. Chug it before coffee before checking your phone. It will become a microhabit. Oh, okay. I've been called to set, but I'm gonna keep reading this AG1 ad. Say hi. Hello. Okay, one sec. That anchors everything else. And the new next gen formula. Holy. They've added more vitamins and minerals than ever. Clinically proven to fill common nutrient gaps. AG1 has over 50,000 verified five star reviews and comes with a 90 day money back guarantee. Go to drink ag1.com ride to get their best offer. Hubba hubba. Get three free AG1 travel packs and three free AGZ travel packs. Plus free vitamin D3 plus K2 and AG1 welcome kit with your first AG1 subscription order. That's drink aggressive ag1.com ride drink ag1.com ride. Thank you AG1. Time for a no CD ad. Yeah, I'm doing this in front of an audience because I'll talk about OCD in front of anyone. Wait, I'm getting a makeup touch up lip. So here's the thing you guys. I have OCD and I get intrusive thoughts and sometimes I'll be on a set and I'll see a knife and I'm like, stab my thigh. But here's the thing. I can laugh about it now because I use no CD and I got a therapist and they taught me that those thoughts are egodistonic. I don't actually want to stab my leg. Just like you don't actually want to kill Benny Drama. When you think that when you hear my voice, you don't. Okay. NOCD is a virtual therapy provider for OCD that's here to help anyone struggling with OCD and taboo or shameful thoughts get the treatment and support they need. Are you listening, Jake Samus? You could support a friend like me. Unlike general therapy providers, every NOCD therapist specializes in OCD so they deeply understand intrusive thoughts. That means no matter how disturbing, taboo or shameful you think something is like killing bending drama, your therapy sessions are a safe space to be open about it. Using exposure and response prevention therapy, or erp, the most proven OCD treatment, your NOCD therapist can help you take the power away from OCD and distressing thoughts in live face to face therapy sessions. NOCD also accepts many major insurance plans and offers always on support between sessions. To learn more about therapy with no CD, go to nocd.com and schedule a free 15 minute call with their team. That's nocd.com to learn more and book a free 15 minute call. NOCD. I love you. Oh, speaking of Benito, it was so funny. Well, maybe a little sad, but every time I got Ubers.

B (30:41)

Sorry. And look how gross. I have not shaved my legs.

A (30:44)

I'm wearing this all night, all summer. Come on. I'm going to keep this on for 10 years.

B (30:49)

I hope so. I'm wearing it to the Golden Globes.

A (30:51)

Look at me in my, like, sweatpants.

B (30:53)

You're very masked today.

A (30:55)

Oh, yeah? What are you going to do about it?

B (30:59)

Don't threaten me with a good time.

A (31:01)

Big. I heard you're big. Meet the guys. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. Yeah. So some Ubers picked me up and they were expecting Benito, obviously. Bad bunny icon. Benito is from Puerto Rico. He is a treasure from Puerto Rico, obviously. What a legend. So they see Benito and they were like, maybe, just maybe. And so I felt bad.

B (31:27)

Their hearts were fluttering.

A (31:28)

They were so sad. They go, no, no, no.

B (31:35)

You also bought. You bought a microphone and a little mic pack to wear at the house.

A (31:39)

I did. I had bits ready for the house and I had snacks waiting for you guys when you got there. I just felt like, I don't know, I felt like I had my own travel show.

B (31:47)

Oh, and we aren't even talking about New Year's Eve. New Year's Eve. We found this hotel where it was like, truly felt like the apex of the world where there were just so many different people dressed for different events but all in one place. Like some people were wearing straight up prom dresses. I had on the Reformation Yorkdale dress that I accidentally Marilyn Monroe in.

A (32:09)

I had.

B (32:10)

You had a button down.

A (32:11)

I had a button down on. And Abercrombie jeans, a trucker hat and reef flip flops on, which people get so mad about. Jeans with flip flops. Stay mad, motherfucker.

B (32:19)

Stay. But we're bringing it back.

A (32:22)

Yeah, stay mad.

B (32:22)

Bring it all the way back.

A (32:23)

I loved my reef flip flops. They're so comfortable. They're like tempurpedic heads for your feet.

B (32:26)

I walked a mile in them walking.

A (32:29)

By in these Loubouts. They don't wear these shits where I'm from, so. They don't wear these shits where I am from.

B (32:36)

So we were at the hotel and not only did baby give me the.

A (32:41)

Attention I so deserve, not only did.

B (32:42)

A Baroni come up to us and she was the sweetest thing. And your stylist who was there said, I have literally never seen someone come up to you as a fan that wasn't so smoking hot.

A (32:52)

So cutie down.

B (32:53)

And cutie down.

A (32:54)

I love our daughters. I just ran into one on the street. She just got fired, which I think is for the best for her. I see. I see. Such a good 2026 for her. She works in tech. I, I. There's something better. I don't know. She just.

B (33:06)

I think so, too.

A (33:06)

So cute. We're both in camo. Real tree. But in a fun way.

B (33:09)

Maybe you'll start a business or something. Entrepreneur. And you get a Squarespace website.

A (33:13)

You know I won't. But she won't.

B (33:14)

I know you won't.

A (33:15)

Yeah.

B (33:16)

On the night of New Year's Eve, we found that the hotel was actually on the beach. So we went to the beach, and when it struck midnight, they had fireworks. Baby, you're fire.

A (33:25)

You're a firework.

B (33:27)

You're a firework. And Jake, Samis and I, your stylist went in the water. I went skinny D. Skipping at midnight on New Year's.

A (33:33)

I know.

B (33:34)

And when I came out of the water, I felt like a newborn baby. And there was an image taken of that moment that I have never received such overwhelming positive feedback about. It's like it. The picture went triple platinum.

A (33:47)

Well, sweetie, it's one of those shots that just sticks with you. It's going to be a part of my star making course at nyu. I show that and I go, can't be taught. And then the next slide, can't be taught.

B (33:57)

I am going to. You know, I want to do a class at NYU about dating.

A (34:00)

Oh, wait, okay. You do that. You do the Carrie Bradshaw.

B (34:03)

Yes.

A (34:03)

At the second one, only people show up. And she goes, get up.

B (34:06)

I go, we're going to the bars.

A (34:07)

Come on, let's go to the bars.

B (34:08)

I take a bunch of 19 year olds to a bar as their teacher.

A (34:12)

I get them drunk. You hook up with three of them.

B (34:15)

I'm like, sir, are any of you. Bye. I'm a predator in this little. In this scenario.

A (34:21)

Wait, that's incredible. For my star making course, at the end, we'll all audition for the same part and one of them will book it over me.

B (34:28)

That's very Pedro Pascal.

A (34:29)

Did I tell you?

B (34:30)

Oh, that just reminded me.

A (34:31)

Rihanna. Victoria's Secret fashion show, when she had a better walk than all the angels.

B (34:34)

Whoa. That just reminded me. Yeah, because, you know, I'm doing red carpet interviews at the Golden Globes oh.

A (34:38)

My God, I love that you're going to the Gigi's.

B (34:40)

I have to send this voice note because there's Pedro Pascal lore that I. I don't know if it's, like, bad to repeat, but I'll say it after. It just really.

A (34:46)

The Game of Thrones where he did an audition because he got like. He was teaching an actor.

B (34:50)

He was coaching someone for an audition for that part.

A (34:52)

Yeah.

B (34:52)

And he was like, I think I could book this. And then he did it and he.

A (34:55)

Got it, and he was like. He showed up to class the next day and he looked at the guy and went, did you book it?

B (35:03)

Have you heard back?

A (35:05)

Did you book? I don't think you did, because my agent called me this morning and I quit. Bye.

B (35:13)

He shut the lights off on the way out. Do you want me to. Because this will have already happened. So do you want me to read you some of the questions?

A (35:19)

Yes, please.

B (35:20)

I'm going to ask some of the people.

A (35:21)

Should I answer?

B (35:23)

Well, maybe I shouldn't spoil it, but this will already be out.

A (35:26)

This is so fun. It'll already be out.

B (35:27)

Okay, let's see if I have smash or pass.

A (35:29)

Okay.

B (35:29)

Frankenstein's monster. Oh, smash the car from F1.

A (35:35)

Ooh, pass.

B (35:37)

Idris Elba as Buffalo Cop in Zootopia 2.

A (35:40)

Oh, smashing. And can I do it again? Okay, can we do it again?

B (35:48)

Flying monkey from Wicked 2.

A (35:50)

Oh, pass.

B (35:51)

Really tall and skinny new avatar.

A (35:53)

Ooh, smash.

B (35:55)

Aunt Gladys from Weapons.

A (35:58)

Not smash. But we would definitely have a good time together. And I think I could easily be.

B (36:02)

Her assistant, Jack o' Connell, when he's a vampire.

A (36:05)

Oh, randomly pass.

B (36:07)

Oh, I'm a smash on that one.

A (36:09)

I know, and you would think I would be, but just something about that he's so good in it that I really am. I'm kind of too scared to say.

B (36:14)

Smash will bleep it.

A (36:16)

Oh, just us staring at each other. I can't wait to watch people on the carpet answer that one. Yeah, Yeah.

B (36:27)

I want to ask people what their Sweet Green order is.

A (36:30)

Oh, they have this new thing that just launched some. I don't know who exactly it was, but it was like, function or something. They have, like, a new menu. I got this, like, Omega Bowl. I was like, I'll have the Omega Bowl.

B (36:40)

Oh, my God. There was. What did I text you today? There was a Hawkeye at Sweet Green sitting alone in the corner. I'm in the corner watching you kissing.

A (36:49)

Watching you. Watching you kill Caesar.

B (36:52)

Oh, we have to stop recording.

A (36:55)

I don't Think we should have a show anymore.

B (36:57)

I don't either, but, you know, my old self, I would have maybe like, sat near him and tried to make eye contact, but I just. I literally went through it. I go, he's probably. He's probably got some annoying political opinion. I uncover in three to six months. I actually just can't.

A (37:11)

Maybe in one month. In fact, actually, maybe in one day. Yeah, it's fast. Oh, I just yawned. Whoa. Right after dark, my darling. A lady never yawns when she's with the one she loves.

B (37:22)

It is actually. It is actually 6pm so what I want to say about Puerto Rico, just to summarize.

A (37:27)

Yeah, I think you should.

B (37:29)

Beautiful location for families, Beautiful location for lovers. Beautiful location for friends. Not that far. On a flight from New York.

A (37:38)

Three and a half hours easy.

B (37:40)

Incredible food.

A (37:41)

Oh, the food. Like, I don't know what blew me away more. I think also, you know what I loved? It's the. The accessibility of the beaches. I feel like you go to so many places and they're like, do you have a towel? Did you buy one of the chairs? I'm like, this is God's Earth.

B (37:56)

So Earth is family style.

A (37:57)

So Earth is. Earth is family style. I walk right onto the beach of a W hotel in high heels. Daddy goes, earth is family style. You know, Daddy is ass naked still in her ugg boots at the tam line without the Wynn Las Vegas. And she goes, take me as I am, sire.

B (38:20)

You know, I want to go to Vegas with you. I think we would genuinely have fun.

A (38:23)

We've been to Vegas together.

B (38:27)

It's would be different, I think, if we went and we got.

A (38:29)

And you didn't get a tape.

B (38:31)

You didn't get a tankworm. I got a parasite. I got a parasite at a. From a candy kebab. I won't say where I got the kebab from.

A (38:38)

Yeah.

B (38:38)

But I got a parasite and I couldn't go to Palm Springs weekend. Oh. Oh. Travel privilege.

A (38:44)

Oh, my God.

B (38:45)

Oh, Vegas, Palm Springs. Parasite.

A (38:47)

Any other desert locations you'd like to go to?

B (38:50)

I mean, she's just, like, different now.

A (38:52)

I mean, my God, have you listened to the pod? All they do is talk about these places they're staying at. I mean, they really fell off, Right? If you guys are talking shit about us at a dinner, go ahead. We've got nothing. But let me tell you this. If you met us, God, you'd melt.

B (39:07)

You know what?

A (39:07)

I think we're just the sweetest girls you've ever seen and met.

B (39:10)

I watched Courtney Cook yesterday.

A (39:12)

How are you doing?

B (39:13)

I mean, what a stunner.

A (39:14)

Isn't she just gorgeous?

B (39:16)

I watched her eat an onion like that.

A (39:18)

I know. In one bite. I showed her to Jake Samus, and he was like, she's got such star quality. And I was like, well, of course she's part of my class, but she. The way she takes down one bite is so, like. It's so me coded. But, oh. Which. We ain't stressing.

B (39:33)

We ain't stressing.

A (39:34)

And she goes, fabulous. Or. And then when she. The way she's like a mayo across all her dishes.

B (39:41)

My own heart.

A (39:42)

No, she is so. Courtney.

B (39:44)

Courtney, you have our attention.

A (39:45)

See you soon. That's all I'm saying.

B (39:47)

Also, on the Betty Draper of it all, and I did want to say for. From my photo dump from Puerto Rico, which I do believe had the potential and probably has changed lives. I didn't inhale the cigarette. It was just a prop. If. If you ever see me take a photo with a cigarette, I'm not actually smoking it. And you could say, oh, poser. Whatever. Whatever. It's. I like the way it looks in my hand, but I don't want to do that.

A (40:07)

Yeah. Isn't it your life? La vida bonita. What did I say?

B (40:11)

Smoking's as bad for you as oat milk, so you might as well just kill yourself.

A (40:15)

Exactly. Or staring at your phone right before you go to bed, I'm like, what the else am I supposed to do? Dr. Oz?

B (40:22)

Something up here. Butt.

A (40:23)

Stick something up my butt.

B (40:25)

Have my magic beans. And don't check your phone before bed. Is everyone not sleeping? Like, I look at my phone right before my eyes close or I'm watching tv. I sleep really, really good.

A (40:35)

No, literally. And if I don't one night, I sleep bad. Like, if I didn't get that time on the phone and I didn't watch Courtney cook, I'm sleeping bad. I need to watch Olivia Dean. Try a freaking. They're jammie Jodgers. What are they called?

B (40:50)

What are they called? Talkie. Talkie or something. You know, those twisted orange things.

A (40:54)

Oh, she had. She had something like a curly whirly. The names of the British ones. I was sending me to the moon.

B (41:01)

I was on the subway today, and I was looking at Jonathan Anderson's Instagram, and I literally. It was literally like Alice when she falls into Wonderland. I, like, I lost time. Like, I was just looking, and I was. I forgot where I was.

A (41:13)

Objects.

B (41:14)

I could have almost, like, missed my stop. Luckily, I came, too, before I got To Bedford.

A (41:19)

That's me with Ms. Cook. Lately, I'm like, whoa. I'm like, I just eat 12 meals. I'm full.

B (41:24)

Yeah. And I guess we don't do ride or die with. With carpools, but if you ride and.

A (41:30)

Die for Puerto Rico, go to Puerto.

B (41:31)

Rico early and often.

A (41:32)

I literally don't wait.

B (41:34)

Don't wait till you're 34.

A (41:35)

No, don't wait until you're 34. I mean, God, you've missed. So. Oh.

B (41:39)

Two of my friends actually went to live there for a month, like, when I was still all work from home vibes. Like, it wasn't a raging pandemic, but no one was back in office. And I. I remember it wasn't a.

A (41:48)

Raging pandemic, but no one was back from office.

B (41:52)

Yeah. So welcome.

A (41:55)

Keep going.

B (41:56)

So they live there for a month. And I was like, what a cool thing to just, like, relocate briefly. They both.

A (42:00)

I would live in the house we stayed at for a moment. I really would.

B (42:02)

We could write a lot of good stuff in there.

A (42:04)

Oh, well, I already pitched, so. Oh, my God. I had the best moment in my life. I just turned to Mary Beth and I knew that I had this idea, and I was like, I want you to write it. And it just happened. And we touched hands, and then the next day, you pitched me on it.

B (42:16)

And it's, like, really good.

A (42:17)

I'm in awe of this. Of this crazy girl.

B (42:19)

I'm to just going crazy like that.

A (42:20)

In this midnight sun. Favorite friend to travel with.

B (42:25)

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

A (42:30)

I guess so.

B (42:31)

Thank you, guys.

A (42:33)

Thanks you guys. Thank you, Paul. Oh, my Exit.

B (42:37)

Benny, babe. Eyes on the road. Benny, look out.

A (42:45)

Ry.

B (42:50)

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