Couples Therapy with Edward Bluemel

Summary

Ride with Benito Skinner & Mary Beth Barone

Episode: Couples Therapy with Edward Bluemel
Date: December 3, 2025
Podcast by Dear Media

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Episode Overview

This episode of Ride delivers an irreverent, hilarious, and at times painfully honest look at relationships—specifically, ones that don’t work but still have plenty of love left. Hosts Benito Skinner and Mary Beth Barone are joined by British actor (and Mary Beth’s ex) Edward Bluemel for a “couples therapy” session, where they discuss the highs and lows of their past romance, the aftermath, and the enduring camaraderie between all three. Amidst playful banter, nostalgia for good (and disastrous) times, and self-aware reflections, the trio navigates awkwardness, friendship after breakup, and the comedy in dysfunction.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Vibe and Dynamic

• The episode opens in typical Ride fashion: self-aware banter about podcasting setups, playful ribbing, and inside jokes (00:36–02:04).
• Edward is greeted as a beloved friend, but the tone quickly pivots to the rapport of three people who know each other too well: “We’ve showered together, slept in the same bed... farted in each other's direction.” — Benito (02:04)
• Threaded throughout are callbacks to joint adventures (on tour, on set, in hotels) that have formed the foundation of their ongoing connection.

Relationship Retrospective (“Couples Therapy” for Exes)

• Mary Beth and Edward candidly discuss why their relationship didn’t work—including long-distance struggles, arguments, and outside judgments about Mary Beth being "too controlling."
• “Shopping definitely came between us. It was sort of the third person in our relationship.” — Mary Beth (10:02)
• They reflect on the unique intimacy and dysfunction of their romance:
  • “I gave you permanent damage to your nervous system.”—Mary Beth (24:28)
  • “Our relationship did permanent damage…” — Edward (24:37)
• Yet, laughter about their “worst couple ever” status coexists with the acknowledgment of shared love and support:
  • “But I feel like, because we're still good friends, it's fine.” — Mary Beth (46:27)

Fashion, Identity & Influence

• Clothes are a recurring motif: Benito as the influencer (“I love dressing Edward”), Edward’s style evolution, and the infamous search for the perfect leather jacket (09:05–10:54).
• Fashion is equated to personal storytelling and marks of growth and change:
  • “Clothes tell a story, and I have.” — Edward (31:52)

Tour Memories & The Comedy of Exes

• Reminiscence about touring together, hotel antics (ketchup by the bed, excessive room service), and how their professional lives intertwined with personal drama (22:13–22:38).
• Recognition of the oddness and joys of being known as “Mary Beth’s boyfriend” on tour:
  • “I loved being Mary Beth’s boyfriend as, like, a title… it just took the pressure off me when I was on tour with you guys. It was just eye candy.” — Edward (48:12)
• Comic reflection on breakups and the inertia of going through the motions in the hopes everything might magically fix itself (“Three more days in the grand scheme,” 14:05).

Post-Breakup Friendship, Boundaries & Healing

• They talk openly about the difficulty of transitioning from lovers to friends.
• “It wasn’t easy. We had to not speak. You sent me a text. It was like, I need to shut the f*** up for—because I kept…” — Edward (46:29)
• Benito praises their ability to create an amicable example of healing:
  • “I think you guys are probably heroes to a lot of people watching that. This is so amicable and lovely and I've just loved healing this...” (46:52)

Notable Bits: Jokes, Pop Culture, and Memorable Quotes

• Showers of inside jokes about pop culture (Saltburn, Daniel Craig, Hogwarts, Tom Riddle) and the trio’s self-mockery.
• Extended riffing on “the ick” in relationships, British vs. American quirks, and comedic goofs from the GQ Man of the Year dinner (38:21–41:23).

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Memorable Quotes & Timestamps

On Their History & Dynamic

• “We’ve kind of done everything, though. Like, we’ve showered together, we've slept in the same bed. We've, like, gone… farted in each other's direction.”
  — Benito (02:04)

• Mary Beth (to Edward): “His shopping is actually what broke us up. I just want to say that.”
  — Mary Beth (09:06)

• “Shopping definitely came between us. It was sort of the third person in our relationship.” — Mary Beth (10:02)

• “I think someone's going to do it. … Behind closed doors is where bad stuff happened. We sucked ass.”
  — Edward (24:14-24:19)

• “You didn’t—our relationship did. Our relationship did permanent damage to my [nervous system].”
  — Mary Beth (24:33–24:37)

On Friendship After Breakup

• “But I feel like, because we're still good friends, it's fine.”
  — Mary Beth (46:27)

• “It wasn’t easy. We had to not speak. You sent me a text. It was like, I need to shut the f* up for—because I kept…”**
  — Edward (46:29)

On Work, Support, and Growth

• “You watched how hard you work… I stood by you both for five long years.”
  — Edward (42:04)

• “Seeing you guys achieve what you always wanted… you guys set out to make everyone happy and you do.”
  — Edward (43:46)

Notable Humor

• “I always knew when it was appropriate.…Sometimes we would just, as a treat, I think I can message him about this one.”—Benito (14:34)
• Riffing on being the “worst couple in the world” and whether Epstein and Ghislaine were “twin flames” and luckier for having each other (23:10–23:34).
• Comedic GQ Dinner bit:
  • “Benny, if you could give a Man of the Year to anyone, alive or dead, who would it be?”
  • “Paddington.”
  • “Leave my ex out of this.”—Mary Beth & Benito (38:24–38:40)

Touching Moments

• “Eddie, I never stopped loving you.”
  — Benito (14:26)

• “I've missed them. I haven't seen them. … Most of them thought you were controlling.”
  — Mary Beth (44:05)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:36–02:04 – Podcast setup, intros, guest banter
• 09:03–11:19 – How shopping/fashion entered and affected Edward and Mary Beth’s relationship
• 13:04–14:08 – Muskoka (“the cabin”) trip and the emotional end of their romance
• 21:17–22:38 – Tour stories, hotel suite wars, and “feeling like family”
• 24:19–24:37 – Permanent damage: honest talk about how toxic the relationship became
• 38:21–41:19 – Comedy set pieces from the GQ Dinner
• 42:01–43:46 – Edward’s earnest tribute to Mary Beth & Benito’s “come up” and hard work
• 46:27–46:36 – The strength and process of becoming friends after breaking up
• 48:12–48:36 – Life as “Mary Beth’s boyfriend,” post-breakup jealousy, and fame at the periphery

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Final Thoughts

This episode is a comic-therapeutic romp between people who have moved past romance but maintained something richer: friendship, creative trust, and loyalty. Benito and Mary Beth’s on-mic chemistry, plus Edward’s English charm and self-deprecating humor, make for a blend of incisive reminiscence, genuine reflection, and a constant stream of laughter. Their ability to air out the cringe and the conflict with love and candor is both rare and refreshing. The result is less “therapy” and more a masterclass in how to move on, wish each other well, and mine the past for both jokes and wisdom.

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(For fans who want the deeper cuts, this episode is packed with in-jokes, pop culture references, and plenty of shade—so a full listen is highly recommended!)

Transcript

[A]

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. Hey, can you come pick me up? Yeah.

[B]

What's wrong?

[A]

Nothing.

[B]

Are you sure?

[A]

Yeah. No, I just need a ride. Ride, ride.

[B]

I just want to have fun.

[A]

Start your engines.

[C]

Take care.

[B]

I'm Benito Skinner.

[A]

I'm Mary Beth Barone and this is Ry.

[B]

If you're together or not.

[A]

Or not.

[C]

I'm here to say that we're not.

[A]

Are we rolling?

[B]

Jimmy, are we rolling? Welcome to couples therapy. I'm Benito Skinner.

[A]

This is Orna.

[B]

This is.

[A]

Orna's the couples therapist on couples therapy.

[B]

I'm Orna. I wonder which camera's focused on me. Jimmy, this one.

[A]

They're all focused on you. It's weird because there's three of us here, but all the cameras are pointed.

[B]

On Benny, as they should be. Yeah, Jimmy knows me well. Jimmy loves to see me from every side.

[A]

He sees you.

[B]

What did Jimmy say just now that broke my heart? A million pieces.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

I said, a British man upset, and.

[A]

He said, another one. Jimmy broke my heart to a million pieces. That sort of insinuated it was something negative. It was actually something really nice.

[B]

Having a broken heart can be gorgeous. Do you understand? Speaking of which, we have a very special guest today.

[C]

Shaking.

[B]

I cannot believe it should be. What if you didn't say a word this whole time, completely silent.

[A]

The Holmes episode.

[B]

No, literally. I carried that on my back, girl.

[A]

Okay, no. And I do want to clear the air on this. I could not get a word in edgewise. Everything I said on that episode I had to say twice because these two motor mouths were yapping and I was just like, I'm gonna let them handle it.

[C]

It was up some time.

[B]

It was double Dutch. It was double Dutch.

[C]

I'm just gonna say. I'm gonna say you'll speak when spoken to. You have fun. I'm happy to be here.

[B]

You know how much I love you. I love you too, Eddie Obama.

[A]

Why don't you guys date then? Well.

[C]

Well, we didn't have a chance because someone was taking up all my time.

[A]

Oh, you had plenty of time.

[B]

We've kind of done everything, though. Like, we've showered together, we've slept in the same bed. We've, like, gone farted in each other's direction. I have farted on Edward multiple times.

[C]

Let's be real, from a few angles.

[A]

We did tour with you ride live. You were there?

[C]

I was there.

[B]

Can I just say, it was fabulous.

[C]

I was there for eye candy. We hung out. We bonded a lot.

[A]

You took some good pictures. Of us.

[C]

And what was great is that you got to use a lot of eras that maybe Marybeth was completely sick of. And I'm one of your best audience. I love everything. I love everything you do.

[B]

So Edward is my favorite. I just got really warm because it's like Eddie's here and he just makes.

[C]

Me being locked in a hotel room with you while you're just trying out new eras and clothes.

[B]

I love dressing Edward. I love shopping with Jedward is what I call him. I think Jed on Tik Tok. Eddie Obama. Do I have on my face?

[C]

No, no, no, no. This is for me.

[A]

Do your Skyfall bit so we can.

[C]

Do the sky bit so I can get.

[B]

You had this jacket and then you were carrying like a tote bag. It's to my left. I can't wait to rummage through it. And I said, whoa. Daniel Craig arriving at now we're now the joke is Saltburn. He was at that final.

[C]

Daniel Craig arriving at Saltburn.

[A]

Daniel Craig's James.

[B]

Tell me he didn't pull up to Saltburn and say who the is that new guy?

[A]

I do declare.

[C]

Just brutal.

[B]

Do you understand that we've got a new one coming and I cannot wait. Benoit is back.

[A]

Well, you know they say what his name is Benoit Blanc.

[B]

Sweetie, that's my full name.

[C]

Yeah, you know what his name is Benito Blanc.

[A]

But Benoit is an anagram for Benito. That's what they figured out.

[B]

It's like Tom Riddle, Turf Hogwarts.

[A]

It's Tom Riddle.

[B]

I am. Oh my God. All that. I. It's so crazy. I know all the like Hogwarts. Someone the other night was like, what's that? What's the newspaper in? Harry Potter called and I said the Quibbler. And I'm like, oh, virgin.

[A]

Never had sex a day in his life.

[B]

Never had sex the day.

[A]

I would love to see Benoit Blanc arriving at Saltburn. And it's just an hour. It's a two hander. 90 minutes of Barry Keown's character and. And Benoit just trying to solve who did it. But like Benoit knows the whole time that Barry Keown killed all those fucking people.

[B]

Well, of course it's very Frost Phoenix Nixon. Do you know what I mean?

[A]

I have not seen that.

[B]

Oh, but it's that a marriage story. And it's very much Benoit Blanc and Barry Keoghan.

[A]

It's his toughest case yet. There's only one suspect and he did it.

[B]

There's been a here a couple murders. But okay, so you're. So you're so bond showing up because that jacket is so sexy on you.

[C]

And it's done up to the top, and I've insisted on doing it up to the top rack.

[B]

Of course I want you to shoot a muscle.

[A]

I'm drinking electrolyte.

[C]

I could do that.

[A]

City ravages me from the inside out.

[B]

Well, sweetie, you know this city gave me Covid.

[A]

Benny's Covid narrative. I'm actually not responding to it anymore because it's a bunch of crap. It's a bunch of Kitty.

[B]

I know exactly how I feel when I have Covid.

[C]

Well, yesterday. Yesterday you told me you had Covid for one calendar day.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So. Yeah. And you were like, it was one calendar day.

[B]

Huh?

[A]

Well, when we got to the. This was a great line that we had a meeting with gq, Adam at gq and Eamon, who absolutely ride British gq.

[B]

Like, ride to Valhalla.

[A]

And they were like, you know, your opening speech. They said, it's both meaner than we thought and funnier than we ever thought it could be. And they said, we love how much. I shouldn't say it, actually.

[C]

It's kind of back. They were like, you find that backhanded?

[A]

No.

[C]

And maybe not funnier than we. Than we would have.

[A]

No. Because it was just, like, beyond anyone's.

[B]

Wildest dreams in a war show, you guys.

[C]

Americans always see the positives, and I think that's.

[A]

Yeah, of course.

[B]

Yeah. No, I wasn't offended at all. Sometimes, though. The only thing that offends me sometimes, like, is when someone's like, I watched your show and it, like, it was good.

[A]

But that's. That's. We should be used to that by now.

[C]

It was actually good.

[B]

First time. Used to it by now. I take it and start. I go, thank you.

[C]

Well, I did watch the show, and it was good.

[A]

Thanks.

[B]

What'd you think during it? Were you like, that's so crazy that, like, I've seen whole on both of them.

[C]

That's family.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

That was all I was thinking.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

All eight episodes. You're just thinking about whole.

[C]

I watched some of it get filmed. We were like. We were minutes away from breaking up, and I did a set visit. And just like our last.

[A]

Our last hurrah to rock.

[B]

I lost when I almost ladybirded out of the car on the way back from Moka.

[A]

Oh, yeah, Yeah.

[B]

I remember it like it was yesterday.

[C]

We had to formally announce you. We formally announced that. Like, I think. I think it's up.

[B]

You said that to me on the way back from a Cabin trip while we were listening to Sabrina Carpenter.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So every time I hear that album, I think divorce babes.

[C]

Well, the album just dropped, of course. It was a huge. It was a huge time for that.

[B]

It was short and sweet era.

[A]

Yeah, that was tough. That was a tough weekend trip.

[B]

I had so many good photos of me and Edward, too, that I couldn't really post because I've got really good.

[C]

Ones of us on that pier.

[B]

We've got one of me that kind of has like. It's like bush is almost there, but in like a very. Like.

[C]

I've got tons of pictures of your body on my phone.

[B]

Thank you, sweetie. And same. Yeah, same. I have nudes of you. I think of my Lady Jane's. Edward. Edward.

[A]

Blue.

[B]

Is it blue or blue?

[C]

You can say however you want.

[B]

I say blue, but.

[C]

Yeah, and I'm happy with that. I say blue male, Blue male. But it doesn't matter, does it?

[B]

Matters always got to add some flourish. So I had this bit last night when they were talking in the room, eating dinner, and I just. It was like the most fun I've ever had in my life because I. I kept ordering so much room service.

[A]

Benny, keep in mind, I've got a.

[C]

Photo of you with. With. With like, truly, like, six.

[A]

I was lonely, Benny. Okay. Benny's been mad at me since I got upgraded to a suite at our hotel. And the way he's enacting his revenge is by putting thousands of dollars of room service on my room. So he ordered 12 drinks yesterday for breakfast, one of which, by the way.

[C]

Was a carrot juice. I'm sorry, I didn't know carrot juice was a thing.

[A]

Yeah, well, it is for gay guys.

[C]

You call it, like, milk a carrot.

[A]

No, it is for gay guys.

[B]

You can milk a carrot, baby.

[A]

Let me tell. You.

[B]

Can't milk a carrot. What have I been doing all week? Here's the thing. You can milk a fucking carrot. And the best part about carrot juice. Sorry, the Lem is hitting, so I'm feeling incredible, is it makes you Tanner Carro. Yeah.

[C]

And that's what's been doing this.

[B]

My dad on his Atkins was juicing carrots, like, every day. He was so into juicing. He was having so many carrots, it would be like the middle of December. And I'm like, you're kind of giving, like Beach.

[A]

You're giving Judah on the holiday.

[B]

Jude Law on the holiday.

[A]

The interior scenes.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, yeah. When he kisses her on the eyelids.

[A]

Don't talk about.

[B]

Would you have laughed at Mr. Napkin Head as A kid. Because I wouldn't.

[C]

I don't know.

[A]

We were debating if that bit would go down, really, that I would have looked him up.

[C]

And yeah, I go, that.

[A]

Is that all you got?

[B]

Cameron Diaz goes, that's not funny.

[A]

So I. I don't like that.

[B]

And I'm not going to be a mother to y'. All.

[A]

Y' all heard of the ick?

[C]

Yeah, I think I was more of a. More of a punchline kid. I wanted a punchline.

[A]

Of course. Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. Less. Yeah, I totally agree.

[C]

Less physical bits Mr. Napkin had not for me.

[B]

Love this sweater, too.

[C]

Oh, thank you.

[A]

It's women's, right?

[B]

I feel like I was really there when you came into your style.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

His shopping is actually what broke us up. I just want to say that.

[B]

No, wait.

[C]

Okay, hold on.

[A]

I guess.

[B]

Let's talk about the last. When I showed him grails.

[A]

Don't talk about it.

[C]

When you showed me grailed, you opened the door that.

[A]

Edward.

[C]

Edward, honey. I've never been able to close it.

[B]

Welcome to Narnia.

[A]

Because you blame me. You blame me for being into clothes.

[C]

You introduced me to Amy Leon door. Which is. Which is a hate crime to introduce a boy to that show.

[B]

Yeah, I'm over it now.

[C]

I'm over it now.

[B]

Oh, you guys love that. They parked a portion there.

[C]

How did they get it in?

[B]

How did they get their lunch? How did they get the portion?

[A]

I got to see the Porsche at the Amylon Door store.

[B]

The gym I go to in New York is right by it. And the smoothie place I go to after the gym. So again, these are these stories, and.

[A]

It'S a weird, electric. These stories that the listeners can't get enough of.

[B]

It's why I'm a writer. And the line is, like, at 9am Is insane of people just taking photos. And they're like, taking photos through the window of the Porsche.

[C]

Was this when the Porsche was in there?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, now they have a boat.

[C]

It's a crazy.

[A]

Your shopping definitely came between us. It was sort of the third person in our relationship.

[C]

I don't think it was really me. It wasn't me specific. That makes it sound like I was like a shopper, a buyer.

[A]

No, it wasn't actually buying. It was shopping. Window shopping.

[B]

See, that's the thing, you guys.

[C]

Because you guys are results based. You always have been. It's like, you want something, you buy it. Yeah.

[A]

How much? How long were you looking for a leather jacket?

[C]

The leather jacket was like, it's great to be Able to be able to like formally apologize publicly for that. The leather jacket was really traumatizing.

[B]

And have we worn it that much?

[C]

It looks dog. Yeah, it looks bad. I wore it to an event, I got photographed and I look. I looked like. Like a. A pervert all that time. And I showed up and I. I saw the pictures and I went all.

[A]

Night the man hours of finding that jacket. And then you finally ordered it and you didn't like it and it was.

[C]

Too small, but I was too proud to send it back because I was always too small. I dragged Mary because I went to.

[A]

War through hell for it.

[B]

God, you know what's so sad? The one that I found that I really liked, I had to send it back because it was. Well, I wore it when I went to. So. Edward, I've done a lot since I've last seen you. I was at Harvard Business School speaking to the students there. And Polo sent me this jacket and I had to give it back. It was. It was on loan. And it was the one leather jacket that I was kind of like, I think you fuck with that. Kind of eaten down in this, right?

[C]

Yeah, it's true. Hey, thank you. And you know what's great is that if Benny liked it, he would just buy it.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

I would. And it wouldn't take.

[C]

Talk about it for thousands because.

[B]

Did I go. I went shopping with you, Port and Adam and Rish. Or is that wrong?

[C]

So, yeah, there was like one nice shop in Toronto that had a few. It had, you know, some pretty nice stuff.

[B]

It was great. It is amazing though. When I'm in there and I tell someone to buy something, they will. I'm kind of like, if you. If you told me from weapons in that way.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm kind of like, I break the twig and. And the guys buy the shirt.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. I've read the plot.

[B]

I appreciate the thoughtfulness, but it's shocking to me. I'm like, there's just so much more to do today. Like, I haven't had a boba tea.

[A]

No, I know. Also, it's like we could be gunned down at any mom.

[B]

Maybe not in Toronto.

[A]

But not in Toronto.

[B]

But. Yeah, but buy. Buy the dress, please. Also, I'm just like, come on, dude, just.

[C]

I know, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

[B]

No, you're actually not that bad.

[C]

I bought some things, but it did. It came between us.

[B]

That's what today's about.

[C]

Today we're gonna sort it out.

[A]

Yeah. We're gonna. We're gonna talk. We're gonna leave it all. We're not gonna leave this room in Great British Library.

[B]

Exactly. Don't tease me like that. Traumatized after going into the. It's Muskoka, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's crazy that today it's landing because I've forgotten the name of it. Yeah. Every other day of my life.

[C]

I thought when we were in that cabin, I just thought Marybeth was just, like, a bit sad about, like. Just like, life in general. And it took so long for the penny to drop that she was just not true. Desperate to break up.

[A]

No, that's not true. We had been having very difficult conversations.

[C]

I was like, do you not like the cabin?

[B]

I'm on a trampoline with Wally, eating, like, s' mores ice cream. Like, I am completely a kid.

[C]

It was a full marriage story inside. We were. We were sorting it. We were going through it.

[A]

That was not a cabin. It was a mansion. I'm so sick of the revisionist history because Wally said we went camping.

[B]

Two things can be true.

[A]

Wally said we went.

[C]

It was the biggest house I've ever been.

[A]

Wait, now you're calling it a cabin? It was a mansion. It had 12 bedrooms.

[B]

A cabin can't be a mansion.

[A]

I don't think a cabin can be a mansion. Baroni's fact checking on that.

[B]

It was like a Lincoln log mansion.

[A]

A Lincoln log mansion.

[C]

Do you know what?

[B]

Come at me like this.

[A]

No, I was coming at him.

[C]

People love.

[B]

You weren't coming at him. You were coming at me.

[A]

No, I wasn't.

[B]

Sometimes that's happened in the past year.

[C]

No, it looked like when people make. Like, my Instagram algorithm always hits me with, like, chill houses that are made from AI.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And it looked like one of them.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Like, it was huge cabin. That was like, imagine living here and it's like, clearly AI. But that was the real one, sweetie.

[B]

It was impressive.

[A]

I loved the outside.

[C]

Huge house made of wood, but also.

[A]

It wasn't fenced in. So, like, I was on pinky watch the whole weekend, which was very stressful. And then, of course, yeah, we. But we ended up extending our trip. It wasn't like, all doom and gloom, but we knew that when you left, we were going to be broken up.

[C]

That's why we extended the trip. We said, what's three more days?

[A]

Maybe in the grand scheme. Three more days in the grand scheme.

[B]

How that felt for me. I still have to lead a production. I lose a daddy, I lose a brother. But actually didn't, because today is also. I'm Secretly writing for the Importance of Being Earnest. And what I want to say. Not the play.

[C]

No. Isn't it. It's.

[B]

It's everything.

[A]

It's everything.

[B]

Eddie. I never stopped loving you.

[C]

Stop loving you.

[B]

It's my boy.

[C]

We've messaged time and time. It's been really.

[B]

I always knew when it was appropriate.

[C]

Yeah. Sometimes we would just. I'd just be like. As a treat. I think I can message him about this one.

[B]

Yeah. And during the show and.

[C]

Oh, it was very soon.

[B]

Calls me on my birthday.

[A]

Really?

[C]

For two hours.

[A]

No, this year.

[B]

Text. Yeah.

[C]

We just chat. We just. And we just. I'm just chatted.

[B]

Right after you broke up. I remember. Yeah. On my birthday I got a text.

[A]

My stomach's making noise. If the mic's picking that up, I'm sorry.

[C]

Put the mic to the stomach.

[A]

I'm drinking electrolytes.

[B]

A little ultrasound.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Something big to announce.

[A]

I felt it. K. A little. No. I decided if I have kids, I have to do it alone because I'll be such a nasty to my partner. I'll just like, no, we don't do it like that. You're not doing it right. Just. Just let me do it. Like. Can't you just picture me saying that?

[B]

So you're missing this.

[C]

I certainly can.

[A]

Whatever. I taught you a lot.

[B]

I do love how much girls boss around their boyfriends. It's not that I don't think the.

[A]

Boyfriends deserve it, but we're paying a hefty cost for that.

[B]

It's unbelievable. Because then a gay relationship would be like, I'm not doing that right.

[A]

I just think that I like being bossy. I think straight men don't like it. So then it's like you're fighting about being bossy, but, like, I'm still going to tell you what to do and how to do it.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I've watched women be like, go get me a bacon, egg and cheese right now. And the guy's like, hell, yeah, if he's good.

[A]

This was a huge problem in our relationship.

[C]

It was, actually.

[A]

Which we talked about a lot.

[C]

We did talk about it.

[A]

His friends picked up.

[B]

What else could I bring up?

[A]

His friends picked up on the fact that I would be like, can you get me a water? And they're like, she's too controlling. One of them was a girl, too, who said that. Because one time.

[B]

Watch out for that girl. She wants into those knickers.

[A]

Watch the mic. Well, Pinky's getting a little feisty because she knew that it was time for the Third Love ad.

[B]

And she's your bra outfit, Pinky.

[A]

She wanted to chime in. Well, you know, she's brawny, chesty. Wait, she's giving me Third Love makes better brows, period. Founded by women who are sick of settling for brows that were good enough and huge Fans of workaholics, Third Love has 10 plus years of experience. Experience redefining what a comfortable bra looks and feels like.

[B]

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[A]

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

It's for every podcast, even if they're not doing ads for ThirdLove. So go to thirdlove.com and don't forget to use our code podcast15. Thank you, Third Love. Benny is coughing all over my apartment just in time for me to tell you that this podcast, it's sponsored by Squarespace. I mean, it'll be a surprise to no one that Squarespace is the all in one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website, engage with your audience, and sell anything from products, content to time, all in one place on your terms. The thing is, like, right now, if you go to my website, you can see I'm using a social plugin for my tour. There are only a few shows with tickets left, so I guess if you don't get them now, like, that's on you.

[B]

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That tickles. Plus give your customers more ways to pay with popular payment methods.

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Like I think that's they get the idea.

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Ach Direct debit us, Apple pay. Okay, fine.

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There's also SEO tools get discovered fast. With integrated SEO tools, every Squarespace website is optimized to be indexed with meta descriptions and auto generated sitemap and more. So I guess what we're saying is that if you don't have a Squarespace by now, I mean have you been living under a fucking rock?

[B]

It's just insane. It's just like such an easy.

[A]

Even if you don't have a brand and nothing to sell, just get us get a website.

[B]

Get a website and like tell people about it. Like, you all see my site yet?

[A]

So have you been on my website?

[B]

What's on there? It's like a couple good pics of me.

[A]

Hey, maybe you should do an email form and see if anyone wants to date you. I don't know.

[B]

Wait, Squarespace. Can you make me one? And it's just a couple. Couple good photos of me and that's it. When people go go to Squarespace, I own the. Yeah, I own the domain for a free trial.

[A]

And when you're Ready to launch Squarespace.com Ride to save 10 off your first purchase of a website or domain.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

People really love that. Guess what I'm looking at right now? I'm looking at my cup chair. Hasn't been used in a while.

[B]

I've got my freaking big old ass.

[A]

You've got your dumper on it. Everyone that has sat in that cock chair has commented on the fact that it's very high quality, very substantial, and it does not feel like it's going to break. Article offers a curated range of mid century, modern, coastal and Scandiano that not only shine in their own, but also pairs seamlessly with nearly any other article production. This thoughtful design approach makes it incredibly easy to mix and match, helping you create a space that feels cohesive and stylish.

[B]

So Article takes great care in curating its collection, focusing solely on high quality, meaningful pieces that will stand the test of time. There's no filler. Every item is chosen for its craftsmanship, design and lasting value. Stupid.

[A]

The meticulous packaging, the weight and feel of the product, the fact that it comes mostly assembled, these are all things that stick out to me about my article products. Not only that, but article offers fast, affordable shipping across the US and Canada with options for professional assembly. If you Prefer a hands off experience. With Article's 30 day satisfaction guarantee, you can shop with confidence, knowing that if you're not completely in love with your new furniture, you can easily return it. This peace of mind ensures you can invest in your home without hesitation. If you're in the market for a beautiful new sofa, dining table or bed, head over to article.com I love you, Mary Beth. So one time on New Year's Day, we were all extremely hungover.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Yes. We had had a crazy night the night before. We had a party there at the house and I was anxious. We were all anxious. We were on a come down and Edward was literally would not put his phone down to the point where I was like, I would sometimes grab it and put it face down.

[C]

You were anxious and I was on a Calm down.

[A]

You should have been looking at me.

[C]

Yeah, we, yeah, we did.

[A]

Stop scrolling and look at your girlfriend. And then a girl the next day was like, I think she's like, I think she's like too controlling.

[B]

I need to find out who this woman is. She sounds like an actress.

[A]

We can, we can not an actress.

[B]

I'll tell you, Tell me after.

[A]

But what people don't know is that me and Edward, we tell each other everything. Still to this day.

[C]

Still to this day.

[B]

Feedback Me the other night to Edward at gq man of the year. I go, polo one. I still. Polo one is his scent.

[A]

Do you think I was controlling in our relationship? No Looking back now.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I've been tricked into something so crazy.

[A]

Yeah, you've been tricked. No, this is fun.

[C]

I've been tricked.

[A]

This is fun. This is like dinner theater.

[B]

No.

[A]

What were you saying yesterday?

[B]

Oh, I never got to say my bit. Yeah, it was me with all the room service. I had a huge hash brown on a fork with ketchup because I found it next to your bedside. Because that's my girl. I knew that she, I literally knew she'd have ketchup on her bedside table. It was the most insane thing I've ever seen.

[C]

You went there to look for it with no hesitation, no weirdness. You were just like, I need ketchup with this. And there's no bedside table.

[B]

I go, there's no cats up. Give me two seconds. And then I walked into the bedroom. It was next to her bed by her phone. And I went, I, I know this woman in a way that's clinical. It's disgusting. So I, I, I dipped the hash brown in the ketchup and I said, I don't need what's Ever gonna be on the telly. I got the BBC right here and it was you guys talking.

[C]

We were arguing about something maybe.

[B]

No, no, no.

[A]

It was like we were just having fun. We were rubbing each other lately.

[C]

That's nice.

[B]

You guys don't your argum and relaxed.

[A]

Well, now. Well, we acknowledge that we were the worst couple in the world.

[C]

We wanted to come on the pod and say like come. Come out as the worst couple of the couple.

[B]

I don't think that's true.

[C]

Because I don't.

[B]

We. We never got a front row seat to Epstein and Ghis vibe. They had to have been.

[A]

That's true.

[B]

Okay, but do I think she rode for him?

[A]

Oh, I think they got along well though. They just did a lot of damage.

[B]

They were.

[A]

They were twin flames. I mean they. They were. And I. They were lucky to find each other. They were lucky to find each other.

[B]

It's so funny you say that because sometimes when people say like match your freak, I. Yeah. Cuz I think there was a meme a long time ago of them of like.

[C]

Yeah, it was.

[B]

It was always genuinely in their bag.

[C]

In that bag.

[B]

Oh my God. It's sick.

[A]

But no, I'm saying the rest of the world was unlucky because they met, but the two of them together, I mean, pitching that to someone and then just going, what? No, they found each other.

[B]

Okay, so I guess we've come to the conclusion that you guys are a worse couple.

[A]

Worse couple.

[C]

Well, we are the number one worst couple.

[B]

I don't agree with that. I've seen much worse. But if you gu want to believe it for your.

[C]

I think someone's going to do it.

[A]

And we'll take behind closed doors. It was where bad stuff happened.

[C]

We sucked ass.

[A]

We fought so much.

[B]

I had so much fun with you on tour.

[A]

When it was good, it was good. And when it was bad, it was so bad.

[B]

Going diners with you, going to movies.

[A]

Permanent damage to my nervous system.

[C]

That's. Are we going to keep that in you get that I gave you permanent damage to your nervous system.

[A]

You didn't. Our relationship did. Our relationship did permanent damage to my.

[C]

So that was. And that was both of us.

[B]

And you were. I mean, I will say it was 50.

[C]

50.

[A]

It was the alchemy of the date.

[B]

Us D. I can't imagine how much you guys were on your phones that.

[A]

Yes, you can. You were there. And it was so bad. I wouldn't go out with friends because I would just want to FaceTime and text.

[C]

You know, when someone facetimes me now I go into fight or flight.

[A]

It's definitely the hairs on the back of my neck. But I did long distance after us. That's what people don't realize.

[B]

Jimmy and I both have to shit so bad.

[A]

Yeah, you can't go. Go in the corner by the guitar.

[B]

I'll go in the studio with the guitar.

[A]

I did back to back. Long distance nearly killed me.

[C]

Yeah, that was wild for me to go from.

[A]

But I told the person, I won't do long distance again. And so then, well, he was like, okay, I'll move to New York.

[C]

Something I never knew. Something.

[A]

Something you never uttered the words of. But then it was like, oh, well. So that has an end. The long distance has an end date. Cause we're gonna move in together July 1st. And then that didn't happen, obviously.

[C]

And how did that turn out?

[A]

And that didn't work out so well.

[B]

So that was kind of not the one.

[A]

So I knew who Daddy's gonna get next. Betsy's got her eye on someone.

[C]

It's crazy now that we're sort of XX's, which I think does change something somehow. Sort of in the head. An xx. I wanted to bring this up.

[A]

If I'm talking about Edward, I'll say Edward. If I'm talking about the guy I did after Edward, I say my ex. Because we never revealed his identity.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I will always say if it's Edward, so there's no conspiracy theories. And the person that dumped me that I announced on Seth Meyers was not Edward.

[C]

Oh, yeah. I did get some DMS about that.

[B]

I know.

[C]

But you know what?

[B]

We brought you in here just happy.

[C]

To know I'm in the conversation.

[B]

Of course. You know what? We brought you here to clear your name. Name in a lot of ways.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And I get that sometimes when people are like. When you were at the overcompensating party, I remember someone was like, oh, Edward's here. And I was like, yeah, so that's my brother.

[C]

Like, you think I would rock up to that without.

[A]

You guys were not on good terms.

[B]

If we went on good times.

[C]

I'm like, I'm coming. You go, yeah.

[B]

Congrats on the show. Yeah, it's kind of funny.

[C]

Shame if someone made a seat tonight.

[A]

You won Fumble of the year 2024. What's it called? Your successor. Who? We have never named one. Fumble of the year for this year. Early on, too. April.

[B]

Yeah. There were a few people who won and he put in.

[A]

Oh, I didn't wanna. I didn't Want to put anyone. Yeah. He, he.

[C]

It was a big early statement from him for fumble of the decade currently on your Instagram. I don't know if it's the same person who comments it, but someone comments every time. Imagine fumbling Marybeth Barone.

[A]

Because that was okay.

[C]

And I want to like it every time I go. I don't have to. To imagine.

[A]

Yeah, you did it.

[B]

You.

[C]

My life.

[A]

But you fumbled out. You fumbled it.

[C]

We fumbled it with glare. Look, if you're gonna fumble it. Yeah. You know, what do you miss most about me? I do miss being on tour with you. You once created an era that I feel like. Don't break my heart, but I feel like was just for me.

[B]

It was just for you. They all are.

[C]

There was an era that you hate and still hate.

[A]

Oh, God. Are you gonna do it right now?

[B]

The wheels keep on turning. I gotta keep that squirt. And we roll it rolling, rolling on the river. Because we were in the car. So I need to come up with a car Diddy. And it needed to appeal to a straight man. So I assumed.

[C]

And let me tell you, you hit every button. Bang on.

[B]

It's.

[C]

It's lived, you know, it's gone through my head a lot of times since.

[B]

Fern has tickled me. Every part of this. You guys got that out.

[C]

So I miss. I miss the sort of bespoke eras. I miss going around sort of towns in America that I would never go to otherwise.

[A]

Buying blazers with thrift shops with the two of you.

[C]

Me, of course, buying things. Me talking about clothes a lot.

[B]

I love going.

[C]

But, like, what was. You would send. You would sort of send me into the wilderness on a day because you. I mean, you had jobs, right?

[A]

We were working. We were fully, heavily working.

[C]

You were fully, heavily working. And I.

[A]

Building an empire book.

[B]

You were.

[C]

You had to turn to the stage.

[B]

Things were going so bad.

[C]

I know. I had. I lost my hat. I've got hat hair.

[A]

Sorry. Wait. What do you miss least about dating me?

[C]

What do I miss least?

[B]

He was just getting through the list of me.

[C]

Whoa. What do I miss least about dating you? The distance. That's quite nice. That's a nice thing to say is.

[B]

No, That's a great answer.

[C]

I'm not going to be mean. I'm not going to like.

[B]

Can you let my boy speak for once? Jesus Christ. Take it out on me later.

[A]

I will.

[C]

I know. No, that is what I miss the least is going out with someone. It's crazy. When the person that you love is on the Other side of the world for three months. And you're like, what's the point in any of this?

[A]

Yeah, it's really hard.

[B]

It's crazy missing us. Missing us. Like, I've heard it's a drug unlike any other, that you. Once you don't have it, it's.

[C]

I've just put. I just put in a 12 month shift.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Because we haven't really seen each other.

[B]

Yeah, I've seen you more than her.

[C]

Yeah, I've seen you. Yeah. Yeah, that's true.

[B]

She has you.

[C]

The overcompensating party.

[B]

Did you love at Stormy Baby Love? Funny. I keep asking people. I'm like, yeah, that probably was crazy watching us. And they're like, not at all.

[A]

I'm like, all right. I can separate the art from the artist.

[B]

You know what? I think my parents did too. My. I told you my mom's thing. She was like, you with a woman was weirder to me than you with guys. And I'm like, that kills me.

[A]

My mom said, well, they weren't your boobs. They were the character's boobs. I keep telling people, see, that's.

[B]

Oh, my God. She goes, benny drama made her do it.

[A]

She said, that perverted freak.

[B]

You know what? Yeah, we're all adults, but in season.

[C]

Two, are you gonna push the boundaries? Are we. Are you gonna shock me?

[B]

If you're asking if I'm showing Bush, Edward. We'll see. Yeah, I love it. College is naked. It should be. College is sexy and naked and awkward and sad and we. It's all in there. Yeah, it is. Like, I've never tried to force it into scenes, but if it felt like it would be like someone was honestly naked. And that was something with. With Mary Beth that I really loved. Like in our conversations about it, because these were conversations, I didn't just make her get naked, but that she would be naked in bed with her boyfriend here. She would not have, like a bra on. Like.

[C]

Yeah. So if you respect the character, you'll get your tits out.

[A]

Exactly.

[C]

You'll do it.

[B]

And I said, I'm sorry, I don't need your nudity writer.

[C]

Yeah, Yeah.

[B]

I don't care.

[C]

You said there are so many actresses who will do this, who would kill for this job. So many actors.

[B]

I could do it myself.

[C]

They'll do it.

[B]

Yeah, they'll do it for free.

[A]

Daddy would love. Daddy's our intimacy coordinator for season two.

[B]

Daddy is the intimacy coordinator. Yeah.

[A]

I can't wait to have her on set.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That night at the overcompensating party. That was my birthday, and all my best guys were not with me.

[C]

I was very sad that you weren't there.

[B]

That was actually fucked up.

[C]

I just looked at the posters around the room. It was like, she's with us in. In sort of in spirit, I guess. I was wearing my Slut Slayer baby tee. I know.

[B]

You look so cut. A grown woman in a little baby tea. And then I don't know if you remember my look, Edward.

[C]

Yeah. You were in like a sort of like. Like torn up shirt and tie combo.

[B]

Thank you. It was a. No, it's a British culture. But also, you know what's interesting? The shirt was confusing to people because they thought I spilled the wine on it. But I just want to make it known here. It was 2013.

[A]

Check the Runway image.

[B]

Check the Runway image.

[C]

And the wine was there or it was. It was worn by someone else who spilled wine on it.

[A]

No, that was the design.

[B]

That was the design.

[C]

That was the design.

[B]

That was from video. Clothes.

[C]

Clothes. And I've always said this. Don't you know I'm talking about clothes? But clothes tell a story.

[A]

And I have My ears.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

I've been storytelling since I was a kid.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay, now, come on. It was cute. And I wore shorts and. Which was like, you know, that's different for you. It was. It was crazy to wear shorts. But they were cute. They were like.

[C]

They were. They were really cute. We walked in and dare I say, the crowd went wild.

[B]

Don't even start.

[A]

Justin Bieber.

[B]

It's these Brits. I don't know what it is.

[C]

It was like you were held back from the party. We were all there. We were having fun. We're having a good time. And then a hush descended. He's coming. He's arrived.

[B]

And you go, I've seen all of him.

[C]

Yeah. And I was getting very stressed out because I was like. I needed everybody to know that, like, we had something special.

[B]

What?

[C]

And so I was telling all of the influencers that were invited. Yeah, I'm not one of you.

[B]

You saw my post. I mean, he was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. You were like, third slide, easy. Maybe two.

[C]

Yeah, I was third slide. And that was good because I think one thing that you two have always been nice to is you have told the Baronies that, you know, because our.

[A]

Breakup was very respectful.

[C]

Our breakup was very still.

[B]

See us at gq. I remember I was talking. God, I love just talking about just GQ in general.

[C]

But I was talking to you.

[B]

And I did see a few People stare at us as if there was, there was some like conversation happening. And instead little did they know I was talking to you. And I was like hello one.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You were getting interviewed by Denise Welch. And I was so drunk and I just be lined for that and I. I don't know why they gave me a microphone. I have no idea what I said.

[B]

Cuz how could they not?

[A]

I better not see the light of day ever. Edward was taking photos of us there and he said he got clocked by a few people.

[C]

Some people just looked across to the party and saw me sort of suspiciously taking photos of my ex girlfriend from like quite a distance.

[A]

Yeah, well it's, it's your ex and her new guy.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And Denise Wells.

[A]

And Denise.

[B]

I love her so much. I, I knew you were gonna show up. She goes, where's Mary Beth? But it was so cold outside. I was like, well we'll lose her if she comes outside.

[A]

Well, I blew off the roof.

[C]

That's how I knew you.

[B]

I know.

[A]

And then they pulled me back.

[B]

We were Wendy. We flew towards Big Ben.

[A]

But then you guys caught me.

[B]

Peter.

[C]

Fuck.

[B]

I should have showed up as Peter Pan. I did a bit the other day in my room, it was so funny. I went and Peter Pan with the thing and it, the thing flew.

[A]

Oh, I love that.

[B]

Crowd went wild.

[A]

One time you did that. Were you talking about the curtains? One time you did that in Seattle and the thing that opened the blind just fully fell off.

[B]

Yeah, I remember something about blinds. For me it's like immediately I'm backstage.

[A]

Here's one, here's one.

[B]

Oh, carry me in satin.

[A]

Lay me down on a bed of.

[B]

Roses and make sure to put some neutrophone next to my body. Oh yeah, Mutual. It's the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement brand trusted by over one and a half million people including the Winter Soldier. See Thicker, stronger, thicker, faster growing hair. With less shedding in just three to.

[A]

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[B]

Did you get the gift? I want all you guys to grow more hair. Wait, I want to cuck everyone in my life. I'm gonna cuck every person around me.

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

Well, I guess there's only one more ad left for today and it's going to be for OCA OC shower right now. Oh.

[B]

See ya.

[A]

Oh say can you see.

[B]

Oh say you.

[C]

That.

[B]

It's so crazy you guys. We're not drunk, we're not high, we're not anything. This is just exhaustion to of a lot level that you can't imagine.

[A]

Wait, it's actually crazy. We're not high at all.

[B]

I know. I'm like embarrassed by that.

[A]

OCS Ocean Body Glow Set is a surefire hit for everyone on your list. Now this would be a great stocking stuffer. I would say this is a gift that's appropriate to say. Hey, you're the hardest to please.

[B]

Hey you dry skin. I've got something for you. It's O's Ocean Body Glow set. It's a surefire hit for everyone on your list. Even the hardest to please please. Well, they want to hear it in a different way and I think I would have booked it. It includes three of OCA's best selling body care products at an incredible value. Each item is full size and packed in the box. So beautiful you can skip the wrapping paper. Sweetie, this is gifting made easy.

[A]

You want to grab one for yourself too? But hurry before this luxurious limited edition set sells out. I mean there's only limited amount supply chain. All that good stuff. Of course, save $40 on the [e-mail] and get an additional 10% off. Off with code ride. Do you want to talk about what's in it?

[B]

Yeah, they have the full size Andaria Algae body oil. And when I rub that antioxidant rich hydration, it softens, nourishes and firms this buttocks. Honey, like the reviews are in and they're stellar.

[A]

It's tens across the board.

[B]

There's also the body wash which cleanses and removes impurities.

[A]

I've been Using that.

[C]

Oh, good.

[B]

You've got a lot of impurities.

[A]

Of course. The body butter. A next level body butter that delivers up to 70, 72 hours of hydration. Give the gift of glow this holiday with our listener discount on OCS.

[B]

Clean clinically tested skin care. Just use code RIDE for 10 off your first order site [e-mail] that's 10.

[A]

Off your first order with code RIDE@O S E A Malibu.com OC should we.

[B]

Do some of our jokes from GQ? Yeah, can I? And then we'll let him ride.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So I wasn't allowed to be at the dinner because I'm.

[A]

He hasn't been on TV in a while.

[C]

Famous enough. Never book. We'll just do a theater.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

Should we do our Paddington one?

[A]

Oh, yeah, that's fun.

[C]

Okay, give me the greatest hits.

[A]

Okay. So I said, in all seriousness, this is a room full of incredibly talented individuals. Benny, if you could give a Man of the Year to anyone, alive or dead, who would it be?

[B]

Paddington.

[A]

Leave my ex out of this.

[C]

You.

[B]

Him too. You.

[A]

We were in love.

[B]

That grizzly bear, did he take you on the London Eye? I stuffed him on that.

[A]

You a top. I've seen everything.

[B]

I like that one.

[A]

That was a pretty good one.

[C]

That's a really good one.

[B]

Do your Stellan Skarsgard 1.

[A]

Stellan Skarsgard, thank you for all of your sons that you had.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

The A list acting talent that has come out of you is more than rada and lambda combined.

[C]

Fabulous. He loves really good.

[A]

I don't know if he laughs left, but that's okay.

[B]

Jack o' Connell is here. The one white person in Sinners.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Fabulous.

[C]

Perfect.

[A]

Dance for me.

[B]

Dance for me.

[A]

Let's do Summer I Turn Pretty.

[B]

Yeah. These are. Oh, my God.

[A]

Oh, and one of the boys from the Summer I Turn Pretty is here.

[B]

Christopher couldn't make it, which sucks because Mary Beth really wanted to sexually harass them together. She kept saying she loves Paris this time of year.

[A]

I felt that power.

[B]

No, they know. Lily Allen one.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

This one's like, oh, my God, you.

[A]

Guys, I really wanted to bring my puppy tonight. She loves events, but unfortunately, dogs from America aren't allowed in the uk which is also the reason David harbor couldn't make it.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Perfect. That's a perfect.

[A]

And then I say. And then it says here, Benny, to add something about a butt plug.

[B]

Yeah. I should have left it in. Yeah.

[C]

But what was it? That's really good. Yeah.

[B]

Obviously this has been A difficult year. America slipped further into fascism. Marginalized group continue to be targeted by the government. And Kevin Spacey smiled at me at Heathrow. That's why it's so important to be here, focusing on what really matters. Honoring some of the richest people in the world.

[A]

You are the real heroes who have made a difference this year.

[B]

Oh, this is my favorite.

[A]

Actors, musicians, athletes.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Where are the athletes?

[C]

Thank you.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

But unfortunately, the athletes that were there were the lionesses. So they actually, like, do a lot of good. But.

[C]

Yeah, well, we love the lionesses.

[A]

We thought it was going to be race car drivers.

[B]

Yeah. I thought it was going to be like an F1 guy. And I'd be like, just, thanks, man. You killed it this year.

[A]

You rocked it out.

[B]

Is that it?

[A]

Those are the good ones.

[B]

I think those are the good ones.

[A]

We had a good time.

[C]

The David harbor one for me is testament to you and Benny as well. But really, I love that you're still doing jokes when you do stand up. And this is something we've talked about for years.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Mama's got jokes.

[C]

You've got. You've got punchlines.

[B]

There's one more that you have to. Because it's a perfect joke. What we're told this is actually the social event of the season. The hardest ticket to get in town. A real who's who. Apparently, Prince Andrew was even vying for a seat at this dinner, but then.

[A]

He found out there was no kids table.

[C]

Perfect. Another perfect.

[B]

And then she said GQ also said they have a no dickhead rule at the event. But looking around the room, it looks like a few of you got it.

[A]

Well, I thought that. I thought going to be there and we'll bleep that. But he wasn't.

[C]

So he could have been, though.

[A]

Exactly.

[C]

He's a hard man to pin down at the best of times.

[A]

I know. So, all right. Should we get into what you ride for?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Wait, where are we going?

[B]

Who cares?

[A]

Ride.

[C]

It really gives me chills to have a. Have my own ride.

[A]

Well, let's hear it. No pressure.

[C]

Speaking of the importance of being earnest is I am going to lower the tone by being a bit earnest.

[A]

The earnest. Go for it.

[C]

I'm writing for you two. Getting the clout that you deserve.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

He came in here with an agenda. And I appreciate.

[C]

Yeah. Because I'm trying to get Marybeth back. So I was like, oh, don't just be. Let's just be super nice. I stood by you both for five long years.

[B]

I know, honey.

[C]

And watched how hard you work.

[B]

You watched Queer as Folk.

[C]

I watched Queer as Folk.

[B]

You sat in a car with us and took us to Jimmy John's.

[C]

I watched you do one of the craziest live shows ever where you got married.

[A]

That's the worst show we've ever done.

[C]

The worst show you've ever done. And I said, horrific.

[A]

But you didn't get the icky.

[C]

It was a show where there had been no rehearsal from anyone involved.

[A]

And the venue started the show without telling us.

[C]

And Honey and Joseph and guess who's in the audience. Charlie, sweetie. Charlie Booth was in the audience.

[B]

But above all else, the venue smelled like cum.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. Avalon is really scary.

[A]

Thank you, Avalon.

[B]

Thank you, Avalon.

[A]

Someone came backstage.

[B]

Mickey Avalon here with the ad libs to water.

[A]

But they came back and they said we started the show. Oh. Oh, okay.

[B]

Yeah, Definitely let us know. But cool.

[C]

Anyway, that was another thing that I sat through and so many things that it's so nice to see since we broke up, actually, which I find it hard to not correlate in a weird way. The. The explosion, this glow up.

[B]

Yeah, it's hard to miss.

[C]

And of course, overcompensating, everyone loving it was the best thing ever. But I also was there for so long while you were pitching it. I know how long it went. I remember we were in Boston. I was with you guys. You were doing a show when, like, maybe you found out that it was.

[B]

Getting made that day. You were there.

[C]

I was. That. He was at Boston for sake. No, it's okay. I was at the dive bar.

[B]

Oh, wait.

[A]

Were you in Boston or.

[B]

I thought maybe you were in New York right after.

[C]

No, I was in.

[A]

I was watching.

[C]

I was in Boston, but I might as well not have been there because.

[A]

I was watching Eat, Pray, Love.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

For the first time. Speaking of Julia Roberts. Oh, yeah.

[B]

No, you called me.

[C]

Seeing you guys achieve what you always wanted, which was, I think. And there's more to come. You guys set out to make everyone happy and you do.

[B]

That's very sweet.

[C]

You do the Brony's. So happiness.

[B]

Yeah. They get us here. I don't know. There's something about it. It's cool.

[C]

We've always loved you. My friends.

[B]

Obsessed. We appreciate it.

[A]

And I miss. I've missed them. I haven't seen them. Thought you were controlling.

[C]

Right.

[A]

Most of them.

[B]

Give me names.

[A]

We'll tell you afterwards.

[C]

We'll do names afterwards.

[A]

There were concerns. I mean, there were concerns. There were concerns of my. Me being bossy and whatever.

[C]

You can be controlling With a lowercase.

[A]

C. I remember this horrible fight we had once about a phone charger. I don't remember exactly, but we were gonna go to Norma for dinner.

[B]

Yeah, totally.

[A]

And then we got a huge fight in front of Tim and Anya, so that sucked.

[C]

That sucks. When the fight breaks into in front of the friends, that's really scary.

[A]

It was hard because you lived with five actors.

[C]

Yeah. So normally we're quite good at looking in the back.

[B]

You know, that could only happen with straight guys because straight actors root for each other.

[C]

We do like each other.

[B]

Yeah. Well, there's more roles for you guys. Yeah, well, you have our roles, too.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Sky's the limit.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We got him.

[A]

I love that you once made me.

[C]

You're the only person ever to make me storm out of a room. Can you remember the one when we got an argument because I was desperate for a piss, and I went to the toilet, and just before I started pissing, you pushed me out the way and sat on the toilet and pissed.

[A]

I feel like you should let girls go first.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So you could have peed through my legs. I couldn't have peed through yours.

[B]

Did I just say it all sounds good? Yeah.

[C]

What I'm saying is worst couple of all time.

[A]

But I think a lot of those fights were also a result of just like. Like, we weren't together all the time. And then it was like that was sort of the basis for, like, all the bad stuff.

[C]

The pressure was very high when we were together to be, like, perfect and nice to each other.

[B]

Yeah, well, that's always hard with couples when you haven't seen each other for a while and then you get back together, and it's like, there is, like, a clunkiness because you've started to live independently, and it's hard to not take the independence as, like, a slap in the face. It's like, wait, you haven't seen me, but now you want to go get coffee alone?

[A]

Okay, yeah, totally, but.

[B]

Which is so fair. It's like, well, that's what you've been doing.

[A]

Or just, like, don't put your seats together.

[B]

And sometimes it's like, I just literally want to listen to this new song. Song. It's not really that deep.

[C]

Look at me.

[B]

Look at me.

[A]

I appreciate that you have always celebrated us and our accomplishments, even post war.

[C]

I posted about overcompensating.

[B]

You did? And it was very cute. You sent me the nicest message when it came out, and that was really lovely. And you were at that party it was very sweet. What do you want me to say?

[C]

I'm saying.

[B]

But here's my thing. I'm like, I. Yeah, I'm the best. Best. Sorry.

[C]

You are. You are kind of the best.

[B]

I know. It's so.

[A]

And we've always said, when you lose one of us, you lose both of us.

[B]

I know. Seriously, you're as close to, you know, as anyone has ever been.

[A]

But I feel like, because we're still good friends, it's fine.

[C]

It wasn't easy. We had to not speak. You sent me a text. It was like, I need to shut the up for. Because I kept.

[A]

I just needed space.

[C]

I was like my friend Mary Beth. I was kind of living in a dream world for a bit.

[A]

I mean, that didn't last that long.

[B]

Sweet, though. I mean, it's hard to. You think that you can do those things. And also everyone has, like, different rules and. And also they'll. They'll be like, I. Everyone loves to just bombard you with it.

[C]

You got it. You got to take your time.

[B]

You have to healing. And I think you guys are probably heroes to a lot of people watching that. This is so amicable and lovely and I've just loved healing this and I'm so glad you're back together.

[A]

Well, we.

[C]

We figured out last night, and we are back together.

[A]

No, we figured out last night. I. When I'm 40 and he's 38, we'll probably get back together, but he'll have a kid with someone else.

[B]

Lord, save me. My truck is my baby. I officiate.

[C]

I'll have a kid, and I might.

[B]

Not do a good job, but I'm.

[C]

Officiating and the kid's gonna be charming.

[B]

And I'm wearing McQueen and it's a kill.

[A]

I don't think.

[B]

I'm wearing McQueen. And it's a kilt.

[C]

Yeah, McQueen kilt.

[A]

You got the McQueen kill commitment ceremony, but we wouldn't do the paperwork.

[C]

Sure, sure, sure.

[A]

So that's. That's only.

[C]

We'll just do the. You know what?

[B]

I got so sad the other day. Oh, I almost fingered this.

[C]

You can do that. Thanks.

[B]

I saw this photo the other day and it broke my heart because it was David Beckham and Ms. Posh at their wedding in the purple custom outfit.

[A]

That's what I really want.

[B]

And that's what you guys wanted to.

[C]

Do for a party.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I thought of would confuse people if.

[A]

We did it now.

[C]

We probably should. Should stay away from it until you're 40 and I'm 38. But until then, you know, we can do other costumes.

[A]

You have six years to do whatever you want, so. Those wild oats.

[C]

Yeah. Thank you.

[B]

And then let the sky fall Let the salt burn.

[A]

What's been the worst part of us not being. Being together.

[C]

The worst part of not being together? I loved being Mary Beth's boyfriend as, like, a title was really fun in the right world. It was just like. That took the pressure off me when I was on tour with you guys, it was like. It was just eye candy.

[B]

You were just hot. It was just like you in the bathroom getting like.

[C]

I was just like, at the back and like, some people be like, oh, my God, it's Mary Beth's boyfriend. Someone took a selfie with me for being Mary best boyfriend.

[B]

Somewhat. That happened, like, every night. You don't have to be hungry in the library, sweetie.

[C]

Come on.

[B]

We're kind of on your turf here. You let her up?

[C]

Yeah. Wait, we're in it. We're in England.

[A]

We're in England.

[C]

I did a play recently, you know, back on the stage. Because I'm back on the stage.

[B]

I. I'm so sad I missed that.

[C]

I know. It's a shame.

[B]

You were so brilliant and you look so fantastic. And I saw some of the fan art, which I needed the fan art. I need that drawing.

[C]

We can get you some.

[B]

Good.

[C]

We can get you some. Somebody came to stage door and they talked to me about Mary Beth. And then they sent me a dm, saying, if she is a Baroni and is listening to this and this makes the cut, then great. She sent me a really sweet dm, being like, I'm so sorry for bringing up your ex. Just in case. That was like, triggering or something.

[A]

I was like, no, not triggering.

[C]

It's good.

[B]

No. If anything, you gave the performance of your life that night. I'm sure.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You left it all on the stage, kid. Yeah, we developed.

[C]

I licked with you clean.

[B]

I love that.

[C]

I licked the plate clean. Yeah. Kid came out. No, it was nothing to do with me, though. I just arrived in LA one time and it was.

[A]

But we leaned into it.

[C]

It was fully full because it had a good audience.

[A]

Warm, receptive audience.

[C]

Well, because I laugh at anything Benny says. And I laugh at most of the things that you say.

[B]

I know, I know. It's hard not to perform for Edward. I'll say it.

[A]

It's hard not to perform for Benny. I'll say it.

[C]

And I'm just happy to be here.

[B]

You know what you are, Mary Beth?

[A]

Bisexual.

[B]

Well, yeah, but you're Also my ride or die.

[A]

Ride or die.

[B]

How could we not ride for our come up? I mean, come on.

[C]

Yeah, I was gonna say I put you in a position. I've put you in a position here where it's like, like so do you write?

[B]

You know what? I write for Edward. I write for Eddie Obama. You've already written for me, baby. I've written it. I don't give a. Yeah, I've been on the tube. I love you.

[C]

How is the tube? What line are you on?

[B]

I haven't actually been on yet.

[A]

We've been doing a lot of walking places.

[B]

Only double deckers.

[C]

Well, of course you're staying at a five star hotel in central London. You don't need to take the tube anyway. You can walk anywhere you want.

[B]

Yeah, but I'm still like salt to the earth, like cornflower.

[A]

Who's the person you've hooked up with that would upset me the most? I'm just kidding, I'm kidding.

[C]

I can do it.

[B]

Yeah, we'll bleed.

[A]

I mean, sure.

[C]

No, I think, you know. Yeah, yeah. We did a good breakdown of people that I've hooked up with over the.

[A]

Last and I haven't hooked up with that many.

[C]

So she held a gun to my head and I just had to go through them.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

When you announced it on the pod, and I actually think this is quite, to use one of your phrases, army of love. But like when you announced on the pod, like a Baroni slid in my DMS and was like, I'm so sorry about you and Mary Beth birth. Are you free this week? Yeah, in like the same.

[B]

I don't know if that's responded but I do know that I kind of.

[C]

Think it is, it is strangely family because if she feels comfortable to do that, then you've, you've created a real safe space.

[B]

Maybe I would say too safe. Some would say too safe. I would say.

[A]

You didn't have to respond.

[C]

I didn't respond.

[A]

Oh, no, no, no, no.

[C]

She's outside. Yeah, I say, I say give it a year.

[A]

Yeah, give it a year.

[C]

Let's wait for the dust to set.

[A]

Give it a year.

[B]

And then one year later he said, how about that pint? Meet me at Sherlock Holmes, right by the Corinthia Hotel.

[A]

We walked by Sherlock Holmes yesterday.

[B]

We walked by a Sherlock Holmes club. I go, Mimi at Sherlock Holmes.

[C]

Happy Christmas.

[A]

Lights outside, it's Christmas. I love the.

[B]

I can't stop saying Happy Christmas. I love that you guys don't say Mary. It's just happy.

[C]

I do say happy because we want it to be happy. Mary's a bit.

[B]

Shouldn't it be happy?

[C]

It should be happy. Not Mary. Sorry.

[B]

Let the salt burn.

[A]

Thank you, Edward, for being here.

[B]

Of course. Edward Blue, everybody.

[C]

Thank you, My Lady Jane.

[B]

Edward Blue.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

Oh, my. Exit.

[A]

Benny, babe. Eyes on the road. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.