HERITAGE COLLECTION: MB Announces Her Breakup (In Joker Glam)

Summary

Podcast Summary: "HERITAGE COLLECTION: MB Announces Her Breakup (In Joker Glam)"

Podcast: Ride with Benito Skinner and Mary Beth Barone
Host: Dear Media
Date: February 11, 2026

---

Episode Overview

In this Heritage Collection re-release, Benito Skinner and Mary Beth Barone revisit one of their most iconic episodes, marked by sharp humor, vulnerability, and high-camp Joker/Harley Quinn glam. The highlight: Mary Beth publicly announces her breakup with Edward, sharing heartfelt reflections in full Joker makeup, while Benito (as Lee/Harley) keeps the comedic banter at full throttle. The pair ride through muse-worthy cultural moments, personal confessions, and, above all, staunch support for women persisting through the modern dating wilds.

---

Key Topics & Discussion Points

1. The Heritage Collection Concept & Spooky Vibes (00:40–05:00)

• Launching the Heritage Collection: Iconic episodes released out of order, each retitled for the defining moment.
• Costume & Joker/Harley Glam: The duo is in character—MB as The Joker, Benito as Lee/Harley, planning to strut through the East Village post-recording in full costume.
  • Benito (02:12): “If you don’t call me Lee, I will not respond to anything but Leigh. Period.”
  • Mary Beth (02:36): “You did this makeup in about 20 minutes, which is just a testament to you as an MUA.”
• AMC Matinee Plans: Discussion of going to see “Foila Da” in costume, reminiscing about matinee experiences.

2. Cultural Musings & Media (05:00–07:09)

• Discussion of the movie "Foila Da," the swirling hype around it, and reactions to pop culture updates (Timothée Chalamet as Marty McFly/Bob Dylan).
• The joy in being topical, but not too predictable with Halloween costumes (Joker/Harley vs. Nolan’s Joker).

3. The Union Hall Heckler & Live Comedy Tangents (08:09–12:02)

• Mary Beth’s Stand-Up Show Incident: MB recounts being heckled by an Irish woman critical of her bisexual/lesbian dating jokes.
  • Mary Beth (10:04): “I literally said, this isn’t a Q&A. Like I’m not on trial here.”
  • Benito (10:23): “Lesbian cops go ride.”
• Reflection on the perils of heckling, safe spaces for actually enjoying comedy, and shout-out to a heroic show attendee, Anne from Australia.

4. Voter Engagement Message (12:21–13:48)

• Brian Derrick of OathVote delivers a PSA on maximizing voting impact and campaign donations during an important election year.

5. The Spookiest News: MB’s Breakup Announcement (14:00–16:50)

• Main Event: MB reveals her amicable breakup with Edward.
  • Mary Beth (14:20): “It is with a heavy heart that I share with the Baronis that Edward and I have broken up amicably. We are going to stay extremely close.”
  • Benito (14:49): “I love you both so much, and I’m really proud of you.”
• Emphasis on “conscious uncoupling,” continued friendship, and deep mutual support.
• Emotional, but uplifting, as they stress “We ride for Edward” and the importance of positive breakups.

6. Riding For: Girls Going On Dates & Being a Nag (17:00–44:15)

A. Girls Going on Dates (23:31–36:09)

• Benito’s admiration for women braving the modern dating scene, especially with straight men.
  • Benito (23:34, laughing): “I have so much respect for my girls who are going on dates with these straight men. That’s what I mean…I don’t want to talk about queers right now. It’s Gaga.”
• Story highlights:
  • Penne Guy: Dated someone who mispronounced “penne” and ate pasta with his fork between two fingers.
    • Benito (28:32): “He puts his fork in between his, like, middle and ring finger... That’s how he’s eating. So she’s watching this.”
  • Barbie Hand: Emily gives her date a stiff “Barbie hand” to signal no hand-holding interest. The man persists, unfazed.
  • Cocaine Guy & Mom Texts: Dates include men whose mothers text “Do you need money?” and offers of a ride home…on a bicycle.
  • Mary Beth (35:53): “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. Wayne Gretzky.”
• Compassion for the gauntlet women endure, celebrating vulnerability and perseverance in dating.
  • Benito (34:41): “Put yourself out there…The search for love and companionship is so beautiful. And I just…I ride for you!”

Dating Wisdom:

• Keep going on dates, don’t settle, and don’t feel guilty for leaving bad situations.
• “Stay in line,” because “you’ll go on bad dates until you go on a good one.”
• Mary Beth (36:36): “Don’t force something with someone you don’t have chemistry with…Don’t compromise because you’re wasting your time.”

B. Riding for Being a Nag (43:04–46:32)

• Mary Beth embraces her natural “nag” tendencies, especially as the youngest of six kids.
  • Mary Beth (43:04): “How much would you charge to haunt a house?…Being a nag, it’s really invigorating to me.”
• Calls for women to stop apologizing and to use their so-called flaws to their advantage.
  • Mary Beth (43:38): “I’m done apologizing. You don’t want me to nag? You do it the first time I ask.”
  • Benito (44:34): “It’s the most fun a woman can have without taking her clothes off.”
• “Nagging” is reframed as assertiveness, project manage energy, and refusing to let up until the world works as it should.

7. Highlights, Humor & Miscellaneous Gems

• On Fashion: Everything looks like it has, or had, “a come stain on it” (51:00).
• On Opening Packages: Benito laments the lost joy of package-opening due to excessive deliveries (50:27).
• Joker & Harley Quinn Lore: Frequent call-backs to Batman/Joker movies, their own costumes, and how the characters would navigate modern life.
• Reframing “Nagging”: Repeatedly pointing out the double standard—men are “assertive,” women “nag.”
  • Benito (54:04): “When guys nag, they’re just, like, being authoritative. When girls nag, they’re nagging…”

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “If you don’t call me Lee, I will not respond to anything but Leigh. Period.” — Benito (02:12)
• “It is with a heavy heart that I share with the Baronis that Edward and I have broken up amicably. We are going to stay extremely close.” — Mary Beth (14:20)
• “It’s all positive vibes, which is so totally fabulous…but the spookiest part of it is I have another ex-boyfriend. I mean, that’s pretty spooky.” — Mary Beth (15:39)
• “I ride for girls going on dates. I’ve been that girl. They’re our strongest soldiers. It’s one of the hardest things a woman can do.” — Mary Beth (51:37)
• “Being a nag, it’s really invigorating to me…When the world operates the way I want it to as the Joker, I won’t have a reason to nag anymore.” — Mary Beth (46:32)

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

| Timestamp | Segment | |-----------|-------------------------------------------------------| | 00:40 | Heritage Collection intro, costumes, AMC Matinee | | 08:09 | Heckler story, live comedy experiences | | 12:21 | OathVote message | | 14:00 | MB's breakup announcement | | 23:31 | Girls going on dates—war stories and dating wisdom | | 43:04 | Riding for being a nag—empowerment, childhood stories | | 51:37 | Final ride or die—dating resilience |

---

Tone & Energy

• Signature irreverence, high banter, warmth, and a dash of sincere vulnerability throughout.
• Intimate, supportive, and at times raucously funny—even as the topics shift between heartbreak and the heroic slog of dating in 2026.

---

For New Listeners

If you want an episode that captures everything “Ride” stands for—pop culture ridiculousness, genuine emotional processing, and a celebration of best-friendship as survival—this is it. Whether you’re moving through a breakup, braving the trenches of Hinge, or simply wish to revel in the bimbo magick of two supremely hilarious friends, Benito and Mary Beth are the ultimate ride-or-die.

Transcript

[A]

The following podcast is a Dear Media production.

[B]

Hey, can you come pick me up? Yeah.

[A]

What's wrong?

[B]

Nothing.

[A]

Are you sure?

[B]

Yeah, no, I just need a ride. I just want to have fun.

[A]

Start your engines, Tycha. I'm Benito Skinner.

[B]

I'm Mary Beth Barone and this is Ride. Hello and welcome to the Ride Heritage Collection.

[A]

The Heritage Collection.

[B]

This is something new we're trying where we are going to release iconic heritage episodes of the podcast in no particular order. And we're going to retitle them so you know exactly which iconic moment to expect. Moments that come to mind. The lesbian cop at Ride Live Massive we're talking about. I'm your sister.

[A]

I was there. It was rare.

[B]

It was rare. NDA and of course, how many chickens there are in the world.

[A]

Oh, I just got a boner. Oh, my God. Wait. Mary Beth just cut her finger and is bleeding.

[B]

I guess we have to go enjoy this episode. We hope it's a tasty treat for you. We're gonna have fun going through the archives and picking out these episodes for you.

[A]

Think about what we're doing right now. We do exist in the world. Isn't that trippy to think about? Let's go on the journey for the Ride Heritage Collection. How do these things stay in the air?

[B]

The very first sin was a woman who ate. A woman who ate. She served.

[A]

No to heaven's gate.

[B]

She's mother motherfucking eight.

[A]

Welcome to the Spooktober episode of A Ride. Spooky. Sorry. You are. Joaquin is giving today.

[B]

Joaquin showed up to set. Very unlike him.

[A]

Don't call me Benny today. Call me Leigh.

[B]

That's okay, it's Leigh.

[A]

If you don't call me Lee, I will not respond to anything but Leigh. Period.

[B]

Hi, Lee.

[A]

Wait. Oh, my God. I'm seeing us up on the screen. I look like a linebacker in this outfit. I'm obsessed.

[B]

I think you look really good.

[A]

Well, crazy how the very first sin.

[B]

Was a woman who ate.

[A]

We are gonna walk in the East Village after this in these costumes and go to an AMC.

[B]

You did this makeup in about 20 minutes, which is just a testament to you as an mua.

[A]

I never said I was Alexandra French, but I did say, hey, I'm an MUA Junior.

[B]

MUA Junior Science of Sephora. MUA 101.

[A]

So you are giving power Bisexual. In a way. This is Bisexual on a press tour dressed like the Mask.

[B]

Oh, for sure. Jim Carrey from the Mask. Jim Carrey from the Mask. I do this to my tie. You can't see but you know what I'm doing? I do this to my tie and your neck goes.

[A]

My head.

[B]

Bobblehead a little bit. Yeah. This outfit's actually kind of like sick. Like, the button down is cute. I might keep it.

[A]

Yeah, no, it's cosplay. I believe it's from China. Like straight. Like just immediately from China. Took, like. It came in the strangest package. You couldn't even imagine.

[B]

But it came in two days. Two days.

[A]

It shocked me. It landed on my doorstep and. Yeah, it was from a cosplay site. And I'm really happy with. Can I just say, happy with the quality.

[B]

You look great.

[A]

I know.

[B]

Yeah. I'm excited to stomp the yard, literally down the avenue.

[A]

You can't imagine the booties I have on.

[B]

Yeah, because when you ordered the costumes, it arrived to my place and I was shocked to see you'd ordered the shoes because no one was gonna see the shoes in this recording. But I thought, Benny doesn't do thing half ass.

[A]

It's the attention to detail. What if in the video, what if at one point you wanted to film me crossing the street and I didn't have these booties on?

[B]

Or you start from the feet and you pan up to reveal.

[A]

You think, I'm going to court supporting my husband and not wearing booties in the wrong shoes. Sorry. Think again. This is what I'd wear to court when you're arrested.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm wearing this to court and then I kiss someone.

[B]

Come testify.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. Sit up there like this.

[B]

We like to call Benny Drama 7 to the stand.

[A]

The whole truth and nothing but the truth.

[B]

So help me God.

[A]

See what they can do, sister.

[B]

It's.

[A]

Wait. I love being gogs.

[B]

Gog is my number one on the topic of justice. It's so funny to me that the way we get people to tell the truth is they put their hand on the Bible. If they're liars, they're going to lie. Like, that's not.

[A]

No, I'm like, you're not guilting them into this. They don't have Catholic guilt like the rest of us.

[B]

No, they don't.

[A]

Especially a sociopath. Yeah.

[B]

Or a person that's done crimes.

[A]

It's so crazy that we're at the Geneva Convention because it really does look like you're about to shoot me.

[B]

Like I'm Robert de Geneva Convention this year.

[A]

Wait, wait, Your mouth is moving. Sorry, you guys. Just like when you see the visual of this, you everything.

[B]

The Joker if he slayed.

[A]

No, literally. We realized on the while we were crossing the bridge that we're dressed as red, white and royal Bow. We're not really Foila Da. Also, it's like we're gonna see Foila Da. I don't give a fuck what y' all say.

[B]

I need to see it for myself.

[A]

I don't care what your letterbox says about Foila Doll.

[B]

I need to form my own opinions.

[A]

Gaga's there, I'll be seated, and I'll have the time of my life. I can't wait.

[B]

I like music.

[A]

I love music loud, but music's the best.

[B]

It's really good. I tend to like it. That's one thing about me too. So I'll be sad and I can't wait to see it. I might wait for it to be out on On Demand. I would love to watch it as part of Spooktober.

[A]

Oh, we are. Well. Well, we're going today. We're going to a matinee. Sorry, I'm taking a photo of us.

[B]

We're going to an 11am showing of Foila Da.

[A]

Yeah, I. It's so crazy. I haven't been to a matinee since my dad took me out of school to go to Shrek, which I talked about on the pod.

[B]

That's the last time you went, oh, I saw Oppenheimer in a matinee.

[A]

No, you did. Yes, I did.

[B]

It was at 12 noon you left.

[A]

The theater and it was 2am I.

[B]

Said, I want to watch it again. I see it in the theater. And I watched it again. What was so annoying about that was I. So usually you have like a 20 minute grace period before the movie actually starts. As of trailers, 30 minute started exactly on time. So I missed that thing at the beginning with like words on it. And I was like, well, now I'm not going to get the movie.

[A]

No. And then you saw Albert Einstein and.

[B]

Your head went dizzy. Yeah, my tie went loose. A three piece suit and a bowler hat.

[A]

And then you saw Einstein and you thought, huh?

[B]

I said, what? What is this?

[A]

It's 1650.

[B]

I thought this was nonfiction. What the hell? I think it's good we're doing Foila da Joker and not Christopher Nolan Joker. Because I think that would be expected. That would be too expected.

[A]

I agree. And Mia's Catwoman. Anne Hathaway's Catwoman.

[B]

It's not to say we'll never do it. It's just to say that this year we wanted to be topical for the first time. This is a movie that's currently in.

[A]

Theaters, but you know what's so funny? It's too topical to where it almost like doesn't even register. And also like, the movie didn't do well at the box office, which is why we're doing this, because we want people to go to the cinema.

[B]

Also, there's been so much buzz about this movie. I do feel like it's been out for two years already. Do you get that?

[A]

Of course.

[B]

In my. In my mind, I've been seeing first look photos of this movie for two years.

[A]

You know, I've already seen Timothy chalamet as Marty McFly and Bob Dylan. I've seen both of those movies.

[B]

Marty McFly, right. The. Is that the ping pong guy? Marty McFly, back to the Future. But I love that we're calling him that.

[A]

Do you understand that? I just like.

[B]

You got a chuckle.

[A]

I can't be bothered from the engineers. Oh, straight producers liking it. You saw. He's looking at Gaga over here thinking, shit.

[B]

So here we have a scoop. It's an exclusive. It's Marty McQueen will be playing Marty McFly in the reboot of Back to the Future.

[A]

Back to the Future too. Wait, we should be Back to the Future next year. Obviously. You're the doctor.

[B]

Well, yeah. Great.

[A]

The scientist.

[B]

I mean, great Scott. What are you going to do about it?

[A]

Wait. It's so funny. My brain doesn't even register this makeup as makeup on you.

[B]

No, this is like how. This is sort of just like I'm comfortable. Do you get that?

[A]

100%.

[B]

I feel like in my body.

[A]

You're a bisexual on a press tour.

[B]

I am. I am. Should we talk about.

[A]

And I'm a gay guy standing gaga through it all. Harlequin.

[B]

This is these holiday spooktacular.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So we have some spooky things to talk about. The first thing I want to discuss is what happened to me last night at my show at Union Hall.

[A]

It's really funny you're talking about this. Well, it's not funny. Well, I guess life's a big joke, right? It's not your whole life.

[B]

We're all born naked and the rest is drag.

[A]

Of course. I mean, look at me.

[B]

Charisma, uniqueness, nerve and talent.

[A]

I mean, look at me. So here's the thing. Do you remember what I rode for last Spooktacular?

[B]

You rode for the London Heckler.

[A]

So all a circle. Please take it away. Last night I was Take it away, Joker.

[B]

Thank you. And thank you so much.

[A]

Call me Joker. Robert. Call me Joker when you shoot me at the end of this.

[B]

No, Stop bringing up guns.

[A]

Sorry.

[B]

We're so gun obsessed.

[A]

Top of mind they are. BLEEP it.

[B]

I want to die. I guess it's because we live in the United States of America.

[A]

Well, we're back in America and I'm seeing them everywhere.

[B]

So last night I was running my hour at Union hall and I'm doing some practice shows before the tour starts. And I've been telling people, come see me on tour, right? Don't come see me if you are going to ask a question in the middle of my set.

[A]

It's not a Q and A.

[B]

It's not a Q and A. Which was what I quickly told this young Irish woman last night. I was doing some jokes.

[A]

Okay, you guys, we have to our Irish baronies. We gotta stake the London heckler was Irish.

[B]

I'm Irish too. That's the thing.

[A]

Me too.

[B]

So it just bums me out. It'd really be your own people, you know what I mean?

[A]

No, exactly.

[B]

So I was telling some jokes.

[A]

She in a mood.

[B]

A mood. I was telling some jokes about how I love hooking up with women but I couldn't date a woman because I know what I'm like to date. Like that's one of the premises.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then I. I just have some jokes about that. And this girl, she. I talk about this one woman that I dated and then this girl, she pipes up and she goes, well, have you ever dated any other women? And I was like, what? I literally said, this isn't a Q and A. Like I'm not on trial here.

[A]

Was she drunk?

[B]

No, she seemed totally of her right mind.

[A]

Speaking of trial, I mean, hello.

[B]

So then she was like, I just feel like your jokes are really mean. And I was like, oh, are you a lesbian? And she was like, no, I'm a bi girl and I am dating a man. But I think if I was a lesbian, I'd be really offended right now. And I was just like. I said, you can leave if you want.

[A]

Lesbian cops go ride. Do you understand what I mean?

[B]

And you know what? Think about that before you.

[A]

Can I just say something before I'm on freaking trial? I'm sorry, that's just. It's crazy. I've never once thought at anything, even if a microphone was given to me at a show to speak. No, that's crazy.

[B]

It was crazy and it really. It sort of took me out of it. And I tried to handle it as best I could tell. Luckily the show was saved by. I do this thing where I ask for ex best friend stories. And there was this beautiful Australian named Anne who came to the front of the room, and she just totally lit up the stage. The stage area. She wasn't on the stage, but she killed it. So I do want to thank everyone who came to the show and didn't heckle me. And if you did heckle me or if you played planning to do that, just don't come. You can see the hour. Hopefully it'll come out one day. You can watch it at home and you can say anything you want to the screen.

[A]

Oh, yeah, you can yell at the TV in Roku City. When my girl's taking over Roku City.

[B]

Well, I'll be in Roku City in this outfit. Finally, some crime in Roku City.

[A]

Literally, she just wants to watch the world burn.

[B]

When I say I want to watch the world burn, I mean Roku City.

[A]

No, I know, exactly. Well, you know, I. We've said that I want, like, I want to see burglaries. Like, I want to watch Roku City.

[B]

Well, I know they have universal income in Roku City. That's why there's no crime and universal health care.

[A]

But gay marriage is illegal.

[B]

Gay marriage is illegal. And movies cost $1,000, as I've always wanted. But, yeah, it's definitely a better quality of life. I would say it's very Swedish.

[A]

It's Nordic.

[B]

I would say it's Nordic.

[A]

When we hear the paper, please. Sorry, I'm touching my freaking wet hair. And I'm so obsessed to be Lee.

[B]

I'm just. I'm just checking things off the agenda. So we talked about the heckler, and. Yeah, don't do that. The election's coming up. It's really soon.

[A]

You.

[B]

And as much as I'm an anarchist, I love order, too.

[A]

My girl has a list, and she's in a suit. I do feel like I'm on your talk show today.

[B]

Well, welcome to the red table.

[A]

Yeah, and I'm happy to be here.

[B]

We have a special message from Brian Derrick over at Oath Vote. He's gonna talk about what they do over at Oath Vote, how you can maximize your donations this year to win really competitive races. And just look at, like, who's running in your state and in your district and all that stuff, so. So take it away, Brian. Yay.

[A]

Back to you, Brian.

[B]

Back to you in the studio, Brian.

[C]

Hey, girls, it's Brian. I know you've heard something about the election by now. Something about cats and dogs, something about coconut, something about it's time to vote. And you might be thinking that they're talking about your status as a Tony voter, but, no, we're actually talking about the desperate need that we have for you to vote for President of the United States, who's going to represent you in the senate, in the house, your state legislature, state supreme courts, and so many more. There are thousands of really important elections happening this year, and there are tons of ways for you to get involved, to make sure that the people who occupy those offices actually represent your interests. And so we over at Oath are making recommendations about which candidates are actually cool enough to deserve $5 or $10 or $25, and where those donations can actually make a meaningful difference in the race. So you can check it out at Oath vote and find all of the election information that you need.

[A]

Thanks. Thank you, Brian.

[B]

Thank you, Brian, for that message. It's totally. We're gonna just. We're gonna just, like, drop it in. Isn't that cool?

[A]

Oh, I love it. Oh, it's so fun.

[B]

It's so totally fabulous. So this brings me to my next agenda item. Okay. This is the spooktacular, like we said.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So it's all about being spooky.

[A]

I'm, like, nervous.

[B]

I know. Cause I have to tell you, I have to give you the spookiest update of all.

[A]

Ride isn't canceled. Just before we get.

[B]

No, it's not canceled. But I do think this is gonna rock, people. And I think if you're driving, you should probably pull over, especially if there's a baby on board.

[A]

I agree. So. Or if you've stolen a cop car.

[B]

I'll let you put it in park.

[A]

Put it in park, sister.

[B]

It is with a heavy heart that I share with the Baronis that Edward and I have broken up amicably. We are going to stay extremely close.

[A]

It's conscious uncoupling.

[B]

It's conscious uncoupling. We're gonna be best friends forever. I still support the work. He supports my work. We'll be posting about each other's projects. He's still very much part of the ride cinematic universe, and we always ride for him. Of course. Unfortunately, being long distance for almost five years was just. It was just too much. It's all love there, but it's.

[A]

I love you both so much, and I'm really proud of you.

[B]

I rode for Edward, and I hope you still do, Kat.

[A]

I will ride for Edward forever. You know who I really ride for? My love.

[B]

Thank you, honey.

[A]

My king.

[B]

There's really no hard feelings.

[A]

God. God rest anyone who dare disrespect her king.

[B]

Her king.

[A]

I am so proud of you. I'm so proud of him. You were a beautiful couple, and you're gonna be beautiful friends. It really is conscious uncoupling because I am apple in this situation.

[B]

You're apple.

[A]

And I think I'm gonna be okay.

[B]

You're gonna be okay.

[A]

You guys told me together in a car, and that was scary, and I almost ladybirded out of it.

[B]

Luckily, I was driving. You were driving Instead of you?

[A]

Well, I've never. You've never driven me in a car, but, yeah. I think I speak for all the Bronies when I say we much. And we love him, and we will ride for him forever. If you tell us to ride, we'll ride.

[B]

We ride. I'm. I. I mean this with my whole entire being. I love him so much. We love each other. We. It's all positive vibes, which is so totally fabulous. But it is the spookiest part of it is I have another ex boyfriend. I mean, that's pretty spooky.

[A]

Hey, like, I speak for me and Howard Stern when I. I say, like, thank you for giving me the exclusive.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, we're happy to have it here on Ride. Like, that's exciting. I can joke about this because we've talked about it as real friends. I just want everyone to know this isn't my first time hearing it.

[B]

I've been in talks about it. We've been in negotiations, and part of the breakup contract was Edward still has to keep listening to Ride, so.

[A]

Well, he better.

[B]

He will.

[A]

Edward, I love you, kid.

[B]

I love you, kid. It's cool. Now I just have, like, a new best friend. I know it sounds so naive, but, like, you don't understand me and Edward's relationship.

[A]

A straight best friend.

[B]

A new straight. Of course.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

People don't understand the nature and the nuances of our relationship, which allow us to continue to be friends. And I'm. I. You know what? I think it's cool. Like, the best role we can play in each other's lives is as best friends.

[A]

I just fully saw this as, like, the Joker coming on late night and talking about him and Harley Quinn breaking up. Yeah.

[B]

We just are better as friends. We're better as co conspirators.

[A]

Bonnie and Clyde.

[B]

Bonnie and Clyde.

[A]

Yeah. 100%.

[B]

So that's all I had on my agenda. Should we get into what we ride for?

[A]

I think we have to. No one broke into my house this week, so I've got nothing.

[B]

Yeah. So we're. We're good.

[A]

Yeah. So I'm gaga.

[B]

We're on date on everything.

[A]

Yes. So that's on that note, I've decided to write for something really spooky, but I think also hopeful and also I just want to. Yeah, I want to.

[B]

I can't wait to see how you make this hopeful.

[A]

Oh, just wait, girl. I can turn anything into B hair.

[B]

Glue in your hair.

[A]

Like literally down my sideburns. Just wait. I actually probably can't make it hopeful, but I'm writing for girls going on.

[B]

Dates and this spooky season. Spooky. I am going to be riding for being a nag. Let's get into it in my head.

[A]

You've. You've written for this.

[B]

Never have.

[A]

That's what's so incredible. I cannot wait for us to talk about it.

[B]

Hey, you guys, it's Marybeth and Pinky here in the submersible. First, I need to tell you that this podcast is brought to you by Merit Beauty, and I am going to be walking you through this beautiful journey of ads this week. Let's be honest, if a routine takes longer than five minutes, it's not happening. For me especially. That's why Merit Beauty MB believes great makeup should be effortless. They're clean, thoughtfully curated essentials help you get a fresh, polished look in minutes. With products you can swipe on, blend with your fingers, and move on with your day. That's right. You just swipe on, blend with your fingers, don't even wash your hands and just move on with your day. You start typing on that keyboard. If your motto is less is more, then shouldn't your morning routine feel the same? With Merit Beauty, their thoughtful, edited lineup is made for a fast five minute routine with easy to use products that deliver a natural, put together look in just a few steps. Merit is a minimalist beauty brand that makes elevated makeup and skincare designed to help you look put together in minutes. Merit's best sellers are proof that less really is more. The Flush balm, which Benny is obsessed with putting on me even while I'm sleeping, gives you that natural, healthy glow without overdoing it. One was sold every 30 seconds in 2024. That's how good it is. I would love some numbers on how many were sold every 30 seconds in 2025. No makeup day. No problem. Merit's Great Skin Serum is all you need. It instantly hydrates and plumps for a fresh, dewy look. Right now, Merit Beauty is offering our listeners their signature makeup bag, Sydney Sweeney's Signature Makeup Bag Scoop with your first [e-mail] that's merit beauty.com to get your free signature makeup bag with your first order merit beauty.com pinky's thirsty after that when she's drinking some water. Thank you merit. K18 has been breaking rules and records since day one. Holy. So everyone can have soft, strong and bouncy hair with the K18 molecular repair mask. We are not exaggerating when we say it is like the greatest discovery. O Pinky wants some K18. It is the greatest discovery in hair history. That's right. It's their patent patented K18 peptides. I mean everyone's all about peptides these days. It reverses damage in four minutes deep within hair's innermost layers. For breakthrough results, the K18 mask gets molecular. And my hair has never felt this healthy. I'm not kidding you. The woman who cuts my hair, she's a total diva, total star. And she is always asking, do you need more K18? We need the K18 especially because my hair is color treated from, you know, when I was blonde previously. Trust us, you'll flip for hair like new as well. Find K18 at your local Sephora and feel the difference for yourself. Or try it. Or try it and keep that flub because we are perfectly imperfect. Try it 10% off your first order at k18hair.com code ride. That's code ride hair.com. you want breakthrough results. You want it to get molecular. You want real lasting biometric hair repair. That's right. Biometric hair repair invented by none other than K18. Find K18 at your local Sephora and feel the difference for yourself. Or try it 10% off your first order at k18hair.com code ride. Thank you K18. I hope every single broni has beautiful luscious flowing hair that they feel proud of and that they love. Because you're beautiful and we are all perfectly imperfect. This podcast is brought to you by Ritual. Oh my God. We are learning so much about how the microbiome in the gut gut is key to our mental health, immunity and of course digestion. Ritual has got your back or rather your biome with symbiotic plus a 3 in 1 supplement of clinically studied pre pro and postbiotics to support a balanced gut microbiome with daily use. Ritual arrived at my parents house. I'm not kidding you. And my sister in law was there and she looked at it and she said can I have this? And I said absolutely. I have more on the way. The ritual Symbiotic plus it Just makes me feel like I'm taking care of my overall body health. And it's really important to me that these products contain high quality clean ingredients and that all of Rituals products are vegan, GMO free and tested for heavy metals and common allergies. Nothing could really be more important to me than that making sure there's no heavy. I only want heavy metal in my music and even there not really. One daily mint scented capsule for bloat, gut and regularity support is all you need. That's what Synbiotic plus can offer you. It's a complete biotic formula. It's vegan friendly and formulated without GMOs, major allergens, animal products, shady filters and artificial colors. So get your gut going and support a balanced gut microbiome with Rituals. Symbiotic plus must read verbatim save 25% off your first month at ritual.comride that's ritual.com ride for 25% off your first month. Enjoy it you guys, and make sure to drink lots of water. Save 25% off your your first [e-mail] ride thank you, Ritual. Wait, where are we going?

[A]

Who cares?

[B]

Ride. You go first. Obviously. It's only fitting that my queen go first.

[A]

Well, you're single now.

[B]

I'm single.

[A]

Call me Lee.

[B]

I'll be single soon.

[A]

Finally famous soon. Wait, that's you, girl.

[B]

Oh, I'm putting my tiny notebook soon.

[A]

Can you put single soon in the on the ride story when this comes out?

[B]

I'm going to play it right now. Okay, I'm taking off my dress. This is. This is the musical. Just like Falada.

[A]

Have you listened to so Long London yet? Or are we not. Are we staying away from that?

[B]

I think I'll have to wait a little bit.

[A]

Cool. And hey. And I just. But I think that I speak for everyone when I say, like, have you listened to so Long London yet?

[B]

I haven't.

[A]

So I just wanted to. Okay. Whenever you're ready.

[B]

I will. Let me know when I'm ready. Well, maybe after this. After this I will.

[A]

Okay, that's great. So I'm writing for girls going on dates. I was at dinner the other night with two of our lovelies.

[B]

Who introduced you to each other, bitch.

[A]

Emily. I was at dinner with Emily and our lovely friend I Knowa. And they were telling me a few stories and I just thought already I'm like, God, I have so much respect for my girls who are going on dates with these straight men. That's what I mean. Not. You know, I'm not really talking about queers right now. I don't really want to talk about queers right now. It's Gaga.

[B]

Harley Quinn would never.

[A]

I don't.

[B]

She doesn't speak on that.

[A]

I don't want to talk about queer years. I'm anarchist. I don't vote. So here's the thing. They were telling me a story. I'm gonna. I'm gonna rehash a few of the stories because they were. I was laughing so hard, obviously through tears, because it's that thing that I said where women will tell you something and they're laughing.

[B]

I was literally gonna say, the scariest.

[A]

Thing you've ever heard in your life.

[B]

Really feeds into that.

[A]

I just couldn't believe it. And I had so much respect for my girls who are putting themselves out there, showing up at places, restaurants at.

[B]

Night, by the way, restaurants.

[A]

And having to have mixed drinks. Like, having to have a fabulous drink made by a mixologist. And you have to chug that because you're with a total loser.

[B]

Total.

[A]

Like. It's just. You were the total milk dud. So I know I had this one that was killing me. She goes on this date with this guy. He looks completely different than his photo, which, you know, is, like, such a thing. And I think the. I will say the people that look the best, they're not taking good photos because they don't need to overcompensate, I swear to God.

[B]

So just, like, look, Two photos from 2016 with the Kelvin filter.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And they are cropping their friend out like it's a photo with a friend. These are the people you want to go for.

[A]

Yeah. You meet.

[B]

If they have good photos of themselves, you should run the other way.

[A]

I agree.

[B]

Unless they're an actor.

[A]

Exactly. Because then they just have head chats always. That's so funny. So I was just at my friend's wedding, and me and my friend Lucas were giving speeches at it, and the wedding planner was like, oh, yeah, I have photos of you guys to, like, find you in the crowd for when you need to speak. Mine was fully my headshot from Getty, and his was just like a normal LinkedIn photo. And he was like, this is so bizarre. Like, that image is so bizarre. I love it.

[B]

The wedding is so full of people, and there are so many people speaking. It's like. It's like at the event in Devil Wears Prada.

[A]

The wedding had three independence.

[B]

She studied a binder.

[A]

Exactly. She studied a binder. And someone's whispering in her ear, where's.

[B]

Folks Penny, Drama and Lucas.

[A]

There were 350 people at this wedding. So. God, the Joker would have run amok. I can't stress enough. He would have loved to be on.

[B]

The banquet table shooting a gun at Domino's sugar factory, taking shrimp off a little.

[A]

I literally said. I said in the middle of my speech, I think I want to do a whole Heath bit.

[B]

Yeah, you should have. You should have jumped.

[A]

Eating the, like. What. What does he eat? Shrimp. Shrimp. God.

[B]

And then he snarls.

[A]

Where is her vision? The man? Yeah. Okay.

[B]

No, this guy's on dates, by the way.

[A]

Fully. No, this all ties together. That wasn't an aside. That was like, fully a part of the story.

[B]

Fully part of the story.

[A]

So I know it shows up on the stage. The guy looks completely different. She tells me that he. He orders penne. Penne pasta. Penne. So she's thinking, well, that's just how.

[B]

We say it in my family. I don't know.

[A]

It's just a Midwest thing.

[B]

So sorry.

[A]

I'm already thinking of it. And you as the Joker's making me laugh even harder. He. I'm just picturing her looking at it because that's what's funnier. It's like, I laugh the hardest at, like, the thought of my girls on these dates staring at these guys with a straight face. Holy. Literally.

[B]

And thinking, k smile. But also just, like, knowing that that's happening in the first 15 minutes of sitting down. And you're thinking, I have to eat a whole meal with this person.

[A]

No, I have to eat a whole ass meal. Oh, wait, there's a car.

[B]

I like it.

[A]

Well, it's Gotham.

[B]

Yeah. Slaughter is the best medicine.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

People think we don't, like, know the lore. I've seen that movie probably hundreds of times.

[A]

And you know what's funny? I've seen Darknet Rises even more, which is crazy because it's not as good as the Dark Knight, but I love it. Still.

[B]

Sometimes I like to think about Bane, like, going to bed a hundred percent.

[A]

Taking a.

[B]

Taking a. And a long day. He takes the mask off to, like, lay his head on his.

[A]

Wait, I just thought of. I'm sad. I'm slightly sad we're not at the Gotham bank in Toronto.

[B]

Or at the Geneva Convention.

[A]

Or at the Geneva Convention, which we.

[B]

Can get a lot more done here.

[A]

Completely. Hey, I completely agree, so. And anything you say, I go with because I'm Lee.

[B]

Well, you're. Yes. Ending me, of course.

[A]

Lee is very. Yes. And that's so true. So he orders Panay he orders penne. She's thinking, what the. She somehow managed to find out that he was a creative writing major. Which. I said this to you on the phone, and you go, who's talking about their major?

[B]

How old is he at this point? Is he older than 22?

[A]

Like, what?

[B]

Or has just nothing happened to him in the last eight years?

[A]

Why do I know your major? And then he. He eats his penne.

[B]

Penne.

[A]

Penne. No, it's just. Wait. Oh, my God. I can't really describe. You would have to see.

[B]

I think I know what you're gonna.

[A]

Say, but he put the spoon in between his.

[B]

For penne.

[A]

Oh, no, no. Sorry, sorry. He put. He put his.

[B]

Cause you're describing someone that should be in jail.

[A]

Well, just wait. So he puts his fork in between his, like, middle and ring finger. Middle and ring finger. And, like, scoops with his hand like a fist. That's how he's eating. So she's watching this.

[B]

So he was raised by wolves.

[A]

Can I just say, she's French and watching this.

[B]

That's how I picture people that, like, eat beans when they're camping.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Out of, like, a tin bowl.

[A]

Yeah. You gonna eat like that? You can go eat in a barn, you know, Prancer. Like, it's like that. So. So he's eating like that. She's just like, holy shit. Like, I actually can't believe this is real. And then after he texts her and he's like, would love to see you again. And she's like, yeah, no, I think we're good. And then he, like, doesn't respond, which I love. I think that's actually better. But. But it just. It shook me too much.

[B]

He didn't respond.

[A]

No, I don't think he did.

[B]

Oh, gosh.

[A]

Yeah. Which is great, though. It's like. It's like, oh, totally. I'm not even gonna, like, respond to you because you're not interested, right? Like, hey, if they're not killing my best friends, I'm like, I'll take it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because I do think, like, maybe we've belittled straight men too much. Like, they're. They're getting.

[B]

They're choosing violence.

[A]

They're choosing violence. It's scary. Anarchy. So then Emily was telling me a story that had me.

[B]

I. I have such a good date. Story of Emily's. But. And I'll. I'll tell it, and then I'll ask her after if we can keep it. It's perfect. It is like. It's beyond comprehension.

[A]

This one is. Is pretty Phenomenal.

[B]

Let's hear it.

[A]

So she shows up on a date with this guy. The. During it, she's like, it's just terrible. Like, we have nothing to say. It's so hell. Like, she's desperate to leave. Then, like, once it's over, like, and it was just. The whole thing was awful. She was like. He was like, oh, can I walk you the train? And she was like, yeah, I guess. Like, sure. So then he reaches for her hand, and she gives him a full Barbie hand to hold onto. Like, she's.

[B]

No space between the fingers, no space.

[A]

She's giving full karate chop. And he's trying to hold it, so he has to hold her Barbie hand. And I couldn't stop laughing to myself thinking of how much she's trying to say to signal, don't hold my hand. Don't hold my fucking hand, freak. And he still is like, it. I. It's a chill down my spine. It's the spookiest thing of all.

[B]

It's really, really spooky.

[A]

But it was so funny. And then when they get something about Barbie, and I, like, want to do that to Terri one night. So then when they get to the train, then she's like, truly avoiding so much. He goes in for a kiss, and then she's like, okay, whatever, like, fine. Kisses him. She goes home, obviously not with him. He texts her the next day and is like, hey, want to hang out again? And she's like, oh, no, sorry. Like, I'm. I wasn't feeling it. And he's like, yeah, I could tell. And it's like, then why did you just text me to hang out again? And why did you kiss me? And why did you hold my hand? Like, I love taking none of the signals and just being like, I'm gonna steamroll through this.

[B]

Hey, you miss 100% of the shots, you don't take Wayne Gretzky. Wayne Gretzky said that? Wow. What a profound statement, though, from him. I used to get date so many dating stories when I had the Instagram account drag his ass. And I've. Honestly, it's still up, but I think it's gonna be. We're gonna shutter it soon. And that's for another episode of the podcast. But, I mean, the shit that these guys are putting women through and then not even offering to split the bill. Like, I remember. I know. Told me a story about going on a date with a guy, and she went to grab the bill as like, a. If you don't want to pay the whole thing, if you Want to split it? Like, I still think that's bullshit because of the wage gap. Like, once we close the wage gap, we can alternate paying for dinners on early dates. But he didn't even attempt to try.

[A]

To split me as a gay guy, I know I'm like, I should pay, of course.

[B]

But he didn't even attempt to split it. And I. These girls just deserve better. One time, Emily went on a date with someone, and he was clearly, like, so high on cocaine. And he was kind, you know, when I mean straight. There's nothing scarier than a straight man on cocaine.

[A]

I mean, I can smell the breath.

[B]

You can smell the breath. You can hear the breath because it gets very cotton mouth.

[A]

Totally.

[B]

She saw on his phone a text from his mom that said, do you need money?

[A]

Sorry. It's as simple as that.

[B]

Mom, do you need money?

[A]

Do you need money?

[B]

Also, he's in his 40s.

[A]

Oh, wait. There was another thing. Wait. I left out one of the best parts of I know us. I'm just realizing this. When they got outside, he's like, do you want to ride home? And she was like, no, it's okay. Like, I'm just gonna. I'm gonna walk. And he was like, okay. Then he hops on a bike, and she goes, oh, do you not have, like, a car? And this is la.

[B]

He wanted to give her a ride home on a bike.

[A]

He's 38.

[B]

He wanted to give her a ride home on a bicycle.

[A]

I was like, don't offer that. Is this the sandlot?

[B]

That's, like, dangerous.

[A]

But she's the kids from it, like, hopping on it. It's like, wait, what are you talking about? Like, no, you can offer me a ride. But. Yeah, he doesn't have a. But he didn't have a car in LA, and it was just. I don't know. At 38, no car.

[B]

That's the more shocking thing of. Of the story.

[A]

I agree.

[B]

Pan one thing. Well, penne, that could be regional. But offering someone a ride on a.

[A]

Bicycle, now that penne is in my head, though, I am thinking, like, when? Now when I'm saying penne, I'm like, oh, like, he got. He got in my brain.

[B]

Wow. I'm the. I will say offering to give someone a ride and then it's on a bicycle feels very fat to me.

[A]

I completely agree. It's very romantic.

[B]

It's very. Everything is romantic.

[A]

Arkham Asylum tattoos on Levitan. Wait, wait. We are so. Everything is romantic right now. Everything is romantic.

[B]

Everything is romantic. Oh, everything isn't Romantic.

[A]

Everything isn't romantic.

[B]

Going on dates with straight guys.

[A]

Can I say romantic? I ride for this because I just ride for my girls putting themselves out there, even though so many of these men are so disrespectful, pathetic, and truly, like, it's just. It's insane, like, how low. How low they'll go. And I. I just. I think putting yourself out there is the scariest thing you can do and to continually do that and the search for love and companionship is so beautiful. And I just. I ride for you. Tell Valhalla this is Lee speaking. And I ride for you in such a. Such an intense way. Like, I just. I don't know. I was looking at my friends and I was just beaming because I was like, I'm so proud of these women for doing this in the face of so much adversity, Like, I can't even match.

[B]

I'm stacked against them.

[A]

It's crazy.

[B]

I have a few things to say. One is, if the joker can find someone to match his freak, so can you.

[A]

There's a lid for every pot.

[B]

There is a lid for every pot. Two, I know it's hard, and I know it's probably the hardest it's actually ever been, but what I would say is stay in line. You have to keep putting yourself out there. You have to keep going on dates because you'll go on bad dates until you go on a. A good one. And one of my friends recently found love, and it's really restored my faith in people. And I just feel like you have to kiss a lot of frogs. Hopefully you don't have to kiss them. Hopefully you could just eat penne across from them.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But you'll find your match. I really believe that. Like, I just, I. Even though I'm recently single, I think there's a lot of hope. And I will say my one friend finding love has just, like, totally is. Hey, it's.

[A]

I'm not saying it's not spooky, and I'm not saying you're not going to meet a lot of clowns out there. Hey, you're going to meet a lot.

[B]

Of clown princes out there and you're going to get ghosted.

[A]

Spooky. A ghost story.

[B]

It's a ghost story.

[A]

But I do think that there. There's hope. I'm seeing hope. Like, things can happen. And I think also, like, it can be like, you meet someone, but then, like, they're friends of friends that you met. I don't know.

[B]

Also, the whole thing of, like, stop Looking and then you'll stumble upon the love of your life. That's.

[C]

I would keep.

[B]

That's a false narrative.

[A]

I don't think you have to like double down and go on two times a. It's not a full time job, but.

[B]

Do it in a way that still brings you joy. However, that's why I read for girls.

[A]

Going on dates, of course, putting yourself.

[B]

Out, there you are. And. But don't, don't do the thing where you're like, I'm just going to shut down that side of my life and hope that someone falls into my lap. It might happen and what a beautiful thing. But I think it probably won't.

[A]

But also you have to. You have to be real. What I want to is like being really honest with yourself in the date. And like, I really can't stress enough. I want my girls to feel less guilt. Like, you can call me and, and I'll call you and you can leave the date. You know what I mean? Like, we'll come pick you up.

[B]

Also, don't force something with someone you don't have chemistry with or that you don't like that much just because times are tough. Don't compromise because, like, you're wasting your time.

[A]

It doesn't have to be hard. Like it really doesn't. It shouldn't be.

[B]

It shouldn't be. I love you, kid. This episode of Ride is brought to you by no cd. Picture this. Benny Drama's going about his day when suddenly a horrifying thought flashes through his mind. Maybe it's a fear of something happening to a loved one. A disturbing or sexual image that keeps replaying in your mind. Well, Benny's mind. Or an urge to do something that Benny doesn't even want to do. Benny, take it away.

[A]

Your heart races, your palms get sweaty and anxiety washes over you. You're mortified and you feel fully convinced that it's true, even though you know that that isn't who you are. The question of why does I think that am I a bad person? Start to consume you and you feel like you have to do something, anything to make them go away. Sound familiar? Well, here's the thing about those disturbing, unwanted thoughts. They're more common than you think. In fact, almost everyone has them. But for people with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, or ocd, they usually cause a lot of distress and feel hard to stop thinking about. NOCD is a virtual therapy provider for OCD that's here to help anyone struggling with OCD and tasks taboo or shameful. Thoughts get the treatment and support they need. Unlike general therapy providers, every NOCD therapist specializes in ocd so they deeply understand intrusive thoughts. That means no matter how disturbing, taboo or shameful you think something is, your therapy sessions are a safe space to be open about it. NOCD also accepts many major insurance plans and offers always on support between sessions.

[B]

To learn more about therapy with no CD, go to NOCD and schedule a free 15 minute call with their team. That's n o c d dot com to learn more and book a free 15 minute call with their team now.

[A]

Senorita yeah, I've got a little cold. Yeah, I'm not feeling amazing. Which actually brings me to a really good point about Senorita.

[B]

Oh, you mean the non alcoholic, fast onset and crafted by winemakers with real juice, organic agave and low calories. Senorita THC Margaritas.

[A]

Yes, we have a new bleep it and it comes in a can.

[B]

No alcohol, no hangover. So here's the thing. Senorita is available in 5 and 10 milligrams. It's shipped directly to you senoritadrinks.com so say goodbye to anxiety once and for all with Senorita THC Margaritas. They're non alcoholic and they swap tequila for thc. It comes in four flavors. I don't know if you knew that.

[A]

I did. So they have lime, jalapeno, mango margarita, grapefruit, Paloma, which I've been really into palomas lately. Although I do think alcohol makes all of my dermatitis flare. This drink has been a real savior for yours truly.

[B]

This is what we need and a.

[A]

Little thing called Ranch water.

[B]

Ranch Water.

[A]

That's what I grew up on in Idaho. Okay.

[B]

Oh yeah. If you're looking for alcohol alternatives, Senorita is a great option because it's non alcoholic, low calories but still gives you a chill buzz without ruining tomorrow. I mean I literally drank one on Friday when I was with my girls. My girls from my old job who I love dearly. Lauren and Shana. Shout out to them. I love that I can bring senorita to a party or a hang and everyone can find their pace. 5mg for chill, 10mg for a full scent. So find a better buzz without the booze. Find Senorita in any of their four delicious flavors at senora drinks.com your cabana waits. Visit senorita drinks.com to get these delicious THC marks shipped directly to your door. Would you like to read the legal.

[A]

Disclosure well, of course. But I also love senorita. I'm such a little senorita girl. I'm a senor, but I'm also a senorita. And you must be 21 and over. And please enjoy responsibly. Don't be weird.

[B]

Let's talk about how Venmo burst on the scene. And if these walls could talk, they would say this Venmo came out. And they said, we have an easier way for you to collect money, to send money to ease the burden, ease the tension. When friends owe each other money, there.

[A]

Was this visceral tension.

[B]

Early 20s. I remember life before Venmo. It was a cash. It was cash. It was paying for a drink later. It was this.

[A]

I don't. I don't remember that.

[B]

I'm too young.

[A]

I'm too freaking young. I don't remember a world.

[B]

Your first phone Venmo.

[A]

And I wouldn't want to. I wouldn't want to actually live in a world without Venmo. Here's my thing. Just, like, being like. I don't want to deal with splitting it. I literally just want the waiter to, like, go about their day and, like, finish the night out.

[B]

Oh, my God. Not having to split between seven credit cards, that changed the game for a lot of people. But it's not just about that anymore. Venmo. Venmo said we.

[A]

It never has been.

[B]

They said we disrupted the paying your friends backspace. Let's disrupt debit cards cards.

[A]

With the Venmo debit card, instantly access and spend your Venmo balance online or in store. And no monthly fee or minimum balance. Fabulous. Use your card to earn. Always on cash back with Venmo's rewards program, Venmo Stash, where the more you do, the more cash back you can get. I'm gonna sell it out with some shoes. Give me a sec. You choose the bundle of prints you get cash back at and you can keep them or swap them out every 30 days. Plus, Venmo helps keep your account and card safe with 247 fraud monitoring and card lock. Better clock. Clock. That's you as a superhero clocked. The Venmo MasterCard is issued by the Bancorp Bank N.A. pursuant to license by MasterCard International Incorporated. ID verification required. My stomach hurts for laughing. I'm like getting my abs. I can take core. Venmo stash clogged. Venmo stash bundle terms and exclusions apply. See terms at Venmo Me stash terms back to a hundred dollar cash back per month. You've been clocked.

[B]

Once you've got the guy. Once you've got a meeting. Out of the palm of your hands.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

I highly encourage you.

[A]

Talk about.

[B]

Talk about something.

[A]

Talk about Harley Quinn in your back pocket. She made Gotham's freaking clown prince her.

[B]

Put a ring on it. Once you got him by the balls, I highly encourage you to start being a nag. Stop. This goes back to season one.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I was a nag. I've always been born a nag. Forced to work or whatever. Born to nag. Forced to work.

[A]

Same.

[B]

So I was born a nag as the youngest of six children. And my mom used to say to me because I was such a nag, how much would you charge to haunt a house? Yeah. So in honor of spooky seasons. Spooky. I am writing for being a nag because this was part of my personality that I really tried to hide my light. And then I decided I'm just going to lean into it and let it empower me. I think we need to let our flaws empower us more. I love being an ag. I love following up with people. If they haven't done the thing that I've asked them to do or given me the information that I need them to give me, I'm done apologizing. You don't want me to nag? You do it the first time I ask.

[A]

Hey, I agree.

[B]

Hey, send it over, kid. Order the thing I said when I ask. And I won't nag you. I'm forced to nag too. But there is a thrill about it.

[A]

Breaking the stick, throwing it on the table, and being like, there's only two spots open or, no, there's only one.

[B]

Spot open, and they have to kill each other.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't mind it anymore. I'm so done apologizing for being an aggressive. Like, I do find I nag so much in interactions with straight men because I'm not a procrastinator. I like to get things done the moment that the test.

[A]

Oh, I know. You couldn't imagine. You couldn't imagine what? Joaquin. How Joaquin was ripping through the streets this morning.

[B]

Oh, yeah. I mean, we had. We had cause we had to.

[A]

You were running Lee ragged.

[B]

I was. But you know what? I actually. I was proud of myself. I wasn't as stressed as I would have usually been.

[A]

Weren't I helpful for your stress?

[B]

Cause really reminded me that, like, it's okay. We're gonna get it all done. But I would say being a nag can be such a powerful action. It's the most fun a woman can have without taking her clothes off.

[A]

I completely agree.

[B]

Being a nag. And I'm not even riding for nagging. I'm riding for being a nag.

[A]

That's definitely what I thought when I was in the Disney Store with my. My mom as a kid. You can't imagine the nag I was like, it was. I was notorious. Like, they talked about me in the streets.

[B]

Oh, you think you're done scratching my back, Mom? Think again.

[A]

Mm. Mm.

[B]

Think again, Mommy. I'm like.

[A]

And I would just show my eyes, you know, my sweet face that, like, just. What? And I would always be like, but I did this. Remember that? Like, I was always. I always had a backup plan, and that's my thing. I'm like, if you don't want to get me this Turf Hogwarts Lego set.

[B]

Like, well, there's a price to pay.

[A]

I'm sorry, but, like, you're gonna get it. So, like, should we waste time here?

[B]

Why don't we cut the shit?

[A]

Should we just cut the fucking shit, Patricia?

[B]

When my mom.

[A]

I don't want to play this fucking game. It's not fun for me.

[B]

Is it fun for either of us?

[A]

And we're gonna drive to all the McDonald's until I have all the toys, because there's something in my body telling me if I don't have all of them, I'll be sick.

[B]

Grandma's gonna die, Literally, you and dad.

[A]

Are gonna get killed while I'm at Pirates of the Caribbean.

[B]

So when my mom worked in the emergency room, I had the number and I used to just call. Hi, is Mary Barone there?

[A]

Did they leave you on hold?

[B]

They would put me on hold sometimes, but usually they'd just run and grab my mom. Then she got a cell phone, and I distinctly remember this. So if I would call the ER and she was busy, which I'm like, like, too busy for me. Okay, what, are there people, like, dying or something? One time I. She had 22 missed calls from me. 22 missed calls. And she. That was one night. She sat me down. And she's like, you can't. You actually can't do that. Because I thought, like, there was an. Some kind of emergency, and I was like, I just missed you.

[A]

Sorry. If my kid said that. I'd be like, well, I mean, come.

[B]

On, give you all my money.

[A]

Let's go to the mall. Let's go to the mall. Well, you get $22,000 for back to school.

[B]

Exactly. For my shopping. So I just think Being a nag, it's really invigorating to me. And when the world operates the way I want it to as the Joker, I won't have a reason to nag anymore. But until then, I say cheers to the freaking weekend.

[A]

I'll drink to that. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, let the Jemison sink in. Drink to that. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. It's so hot in here.

[A]

It's so hot. I'm balmy and sexy and I have swamped. Yes. I feel like I. I would ride with you to Valhalla and I would like, I would burn Gotham down.

[B]

Well, you know, that is very warm. It's the desert.

[A]

Oh, I can't imagine, like the Rick Owens I'd wear if I was in Mad Max. I can't stop touching this hair. I'm obsessed with.

[B]

You're kind of like feeling it. Like, I can tell you really love it.

[A]

Like, do you understand the fantasy I'm in? This jacket is very like, like it's really tight, cropped.

[B]

Well, it's, it's cropped three quarter length.

[A]

It's a cropped jacket. And what I love, it's like, it's notes on Jester. It's very like, like, like it has, it has that. But it also has, like, it has structural integrity, this outfit.

[B]

There are seams going up the. The front to make it more flattering.

[A]

What plays within circus. It plays. I think Gaga had a huge say in the costume design. I can only imagine.

[B]

I should hope.

[A]

Yeah. Well, you look fantastic. I love seeing you say all this. It does remind me of when Heath Ledger's the Joker. Sat down with that group of guys and was like, hear me out. I just want to talk to you guys about something. And he was making a change.

[B]

He said, I have something to say.

[A]

Yeah. And let me just say, I only want to say it fucking once.

[B]

Once.

[A]

Listen, with a real Batman, please stand up. Well, the real Batman is my favorite.

[B]

Line because that means that Eminem exists in Gotham. And not only that, but the Joker is a fan.

[A]

Yeah, well, he's a Stan.

[B]

He's a Stan. He said. Oh, well, let me just paraphrase my favorite musical artist.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I love Date Mile, by the way.

[A]

Of course. Well, he loves Brittany Murphy.

[B]

I just love the idea that the Joker is a huge Slim Shady fan.

[A]

He definitely, he definitely is Marshall Mathers.

[B]

Marshall Mathers. So. And in a lot of ways, the Joker is a nag. I mean, he's not going to stop till he gets what he wants. Sorry. The opening sequence of Dark Knight where it's the clowns robbing the bank. And they all have to kill. Don't like Christopher.

[A]

And all in with the school buses. And when it falls, Christopher falls into line.

[B]

Our attention.

[A]

When it falls into line, it's an imax. When it does the IMAX thing where it goes big and, you know, it's like, well, you've got me, kid. Oh, what about when he's in Shanghai? Hot pills. Now he's Shanghai. Do you remember? Yeah.

[B]

Because he's on the TV screen.

[A]

Because he's on the TV screen. Oh, fuck. And then he goes, oh, my God. When that thing hooks and he goes away on that plane. Oh, my God.

[B]

Rewatch the Dark Knight and watch the Dark Knight early and often.

[A]

Watch Joker the First. I love it so much.

[B]

People prepped me to not like it because I'm a woman and I liked it a lot. I have such a bad experience. Yeah. I mean, he's a fabulous actor.

[A]

Yeah. And I believe both he And Heath, if IMDb trivia is correct, they both did their own makeup throughout the mua, which I think on one of them, though, I can't imagine that Joaquin did it, because it's really. I was trying to recreate it.

[B]

Oh, he went to Science of Sephora.

[A]

Exactly. He got a tiny little spectrum brush. Yeah, he got a little brush set.

[B]

He studied. He watched a tutorial.

[A]

Nagging. Oh, my God. I. There are so many stories I have of nagging, because it's like, all I did, ultimately. But here's the thing. I had every right to nag because all my siblings played golf. So I was on all these golf courses, and I was like, we're going to the Fred Meyer toy section after.

[B]

This time to pay up.

[A]

Like, are you serious? You think I want to do this with my day? I've got so much.

[B]

Your weekend, no less.

[A]

In my weekend, no less. I have so much to do. 36 holes. Oh, girl. We're getting two of whatever it is. Trust me. And if the box is a little broken, I'll make you go back and we'll get a different one. Understand that, Patricia. Don't fuck with me, girl.

[B]

Who understands that? Me. Yeah, I really get that. I know. I know. I know.

[A]

I just. Wow. You. You don't nag me.

[B]

I don't nag you. I think when you get packages, you should just open them and then toss the cardboard out.

[A]

And I think that's. And the Joker agrees to.

[B]

You need to find the joy of opening packages again. When I get a package, I'm like a Kid on Christmas, I rip it in the elevator. I want to open it.

[A]

Some of them are rainbow jock straps for pride.

[B]

I know.

[A]

What do I.

[B]

That's the thing. People have taken the joy of opening packages from you. It should be one of the most fun things you can do in a day in your own home is open a package. I think I would be very similar if you and I lived together.

[A]

Any clothes I want, though. I'm, like, so excited. Like, that's, like. It's so fun to get an Essence package. And I can only imagine that, like, Lee and the Joker, like, agree with that. Do you know what I mean?

[B]

Totally. Oh, they're shopping the Essence sale. Well, of course. That's where they're getting this beautiful suit. A brown suit. A chocolate brown suit.

[A]

Can I just say, this is very Mew Mew on you.

[B]

It's very Mew Mew.

[A]

It's really cute.

[B]

Oh, you know what? I decided why I don't like fashion right now. Everything looks like it has come stains on it. Everything looks like it either does or once did have a come stain on it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And that's why I'm kind of like, if I want to come stain on something, I'll put it there myself, and.

[A]

It'S double the price.

[B]

Oh, double that. You're paying extra for the genetic material. So that's my big problem with fashion right now. And I'm glad I can say that in this outfit.

[A]

Well, of course. Well, it. That's the perfect outfit to speak on.

[B]

Fashion in and to speak on come stains in.

[A]

So should we get into Ride or Die? You know what you are, Mary Beth?

[B]

Bisexual.

[A]

Well, yeah, but you're also my ride or die. Ride or Die.

[B]

I ride for girls going on dates. I've been that girl. They're our strongest soldiers. It's one of the hardest things a woman can do. And I feel like you discover a lot about yourself going on those dates. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Always stay safe. I would say alcohol's really scary, and if you're on a bad date and you want it to be more fun by drinking, just please, please be safe. Always have someone that can call you and get you out of a situation. And I just think, try to have fun with it. Try to make it, like, a thing where it's more of an exploration than trying to find the one.

[A]

And a great life story, I think later, like, a great chapter for the memoir. It was so fun at dinner to talk about this. We were laughing, and I. I was like, it sucks. But also, like. And tell your friends how proud you are of them for doing it. It's really hard. And I think that's the one thing, is that, like, people aren't being applauded for it. And I'm like, no, I, I standing. We're like, why haven't you found someone? I'm giving you a standing O. Can't wait to kiss you at the end of this and get the red all over me and go kiss me.

[B]

Down by the bearded barley.

[A]

I write for nagging because I am one and I. I, like, I'll do it until I die.

[B]

Stop. Stop trying to beat it out of yourself.

[A]

Oh, you wanted to make it, like, such a gross word. Like, nagging is such a gross word, but I don't care.

[B]

Oh, call me a nag.

[A]

You can't spell nagging without Gaga. There are two ways, but who cares? Do you think Lee gives a.

[B]

Well, if you're. If you're on spelling bee on New York Times, you can use letters twice.

[A]

Exactly. So suck it.

[B]

I know.

[A]

Suck Harley Quinn's dick.

[B]

I know. Harley Quinn and The Joker. Love Brat365.

[A]

Oh, my God. They're like, well, they're gonna love the remix, Summer.

[B]

The Joker bitch.

[A]

Joker bitch. Literally. No. You have brat hair.

[B]

This is a musical episode.

[A]

It's very. Well, I almost wanted to start with. But we already have. So then I thought, Money, money, money, money. That's how they should have started.

[B]

Seriously. Playing in cvs. When I went there to get my prescription, ultimately the pharmacy was closed. The Cure. What a good song. And that wasn't even really on an album. She just.

[A]

She just released it before Coachella.

[B]

Anything.

[A]

I know Gaga's a nag. She's like, get it fucking done.

[B]

Get it done. She does it with respect. Bossed up.

[A]

Gag city.

[B]

When guys nag, they're just, like, being authoritative. When girls nag, they're nagging. So I say, well, have you ever.

[A]

Heard a guy called a nag that wasn't a gay guy scenario?

[B]

Never ever. I'm hardly even a gay guy guy to be.

[A]

To be. So frankly, I'm so one.

[B]

It's like, I've never heard of a guy being described as bossy, which I'm described as bossy. So frequently.

[A]

I will say, though, I become less of a nag now that I have my own money.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because, like, oh, God, when other people had the money, it was so be the change. Exactly.

[B]

That's what that meant. Be the change. Get money so you don't have to nag Sometimes you have to nag for deliverables. I think if you're a project manager, my heart goes out to you. You're working with tech teams, you're working with creative teams.

[A]

Terry takes a photo of us. Hey.

[B]

Hey. Hope this email finds you well.

[A]

He doesn't respond to email. You know, this. Your emails. Oh my God, I wish we could read a few.

[B]

We can read a few if we anonymize them. Like we bleep out some of the people that are mentioned or. Or companies. But yeah, I think it's important. We'll get into that. That's season three, maybe four, maybe four.

[A]

Maybe five, maybe five. We'll see how long we live.

[B]

Well, Happy Halloween. Halloween's tomorrow.

[A]

Hey, Happy Halloween, Joy. Thank you for sharing your truth.

[B]

Please be safe. I didn't. I ride for being vulnerable. Yeah, I. I live the values.

[A]

Yeah, of course you do. And.

[B]

And you make me feel safe to do that.

[A]

Hey, you make me feel safe to do that.

[B]

Especially in that makeup, kid.

[A]

I know. Cause I'm your love. I'm your wife. And I'm sexual. And I love you. I'm Harley. I'm Lee.

[B]

And I'm Joker.

[A]

Wait, no. But I just. I think we're all so proud of you. We love you and Edward so much. We're always gonna support the work.

[B]

We ride for Edward.

[A]

We ride for Edward. I ride for Edward forever. But. But at the end of the day, I am Lee and I'm gonna ride for the Joker the hardest.

[B]

People say we're alike. They say we've got the same hair.

[A]

That was me this morning. Wait. It's so funny, the thought that I had you dye your hair blonde for overcompensating. And then in this, I made you be Joker. Like, do you.

[B]

When you said we were being Joker and Harley, not for one second did I think I was gonna be Joker.

[A]

Every person I've told, they go, oh, yeah, I can't wait to see Mary Beth as a joker.

[B]

Why? Because how could you deprive the world of this?

[A]

Well, I never would.

[B]

Don't do that.

[A]

Sorry if I. I'm. I'm here for one thing, and it's to show Mary Beth Barone's range. She's a chameleon. God, fuck, look at this. Like, come on, get into it. Happy Halloween. Be safe.

[B]

Check your candy for razor blades.

[A]

Oh my God. And your apples. Yeah, your caramel apples.

[B]

Your caramel apples that are going to give you cabbages. Your penne pasta. I see another root canal coming for queer as folks. Benny. Jerome. Oh, my God.

[A]

You're so fucked up. Rip em all out. That's what Lee would say. Money, money, money. Oh, my. Exit.

[B]

Benny, babe. Eyes on the road.

[A]

Benny.

[B]

Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.