HERITAGE COLLECTION: Meet Fucker Jones

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Ride with Benito Skinner and Mary Beth Barone

Episode: HERITAGE COLLECTION: Meet Fucker Jones
Date: March 4, 2026
Hosts: Benito Skinner & Mary Beth Barone

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Main Theme

In this “Heritage Collection” episode, Benito and Mary Beth reminisce about iconic moments from their live show tours—centering on a particularly legendary night in Denver, Benny’s birthday celebration in Las Vegas, and the emergence of the inside-joke legend "Fucker Jones." The duo reflect on celebrity encounters (Katy Perry!), wild tour memories, and share what they’re “riding for” this week—gambing (responsibly) and French manicures—in their signature, irreverent, and effervescent style.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Heritage Collection & the Birth of Fucker Jones

• The episode is part of a new mini-series: iconic reruns with extra context and re-titled for fan favorites.
• The term “Fucker Jones” is born from tour banter, referencing a Live Nation rep at their Denver show and, later, as a spirit-animal stand-in for chaotic audience members and rowdy vibes.
• Running gags and ride-or-die references pepper the conversation, creating a “best-of” flavor.

Memorable Quote:

"We had a rep from Live Nation and we needed to start. And then Benny goes, where's Fucker Jones?"
— Mary Beth Barone [02:38]

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2. Denver & Tour Antics

• Post-show shenanigans and iconic audience moments (lesbian cop, NDA talk, and more) are celebrated.
• The hosts stress their desire for accessibility in live shows and disavow any wild ticket prices.

Notable Exchange:

“We're so sorry. That was not us. We did not price tour tickets at $500. Although I can't say it's not worth it..."
— Benito Skinner [02:24]

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3. Vegas Birthday—Meeting Katy Perry

• Benito’s birthday party in Las Vegas is recapped in vivid detail:
  • Attending Katy Perry’s Play residency
  • Benny gets invited up for a dance-off during “Swish Swish”
  • A cast of colorful characters from the meet-and-greet (the “Fucker Jones” types) recounted with affection and hilarity
• Emotional resonance: Both hosts share how much moments with pop stars, and seeing each other celebrated, mean to them.

Memorable Quotes:

"Meeting Katy Perry, I completely went speechless."
— Mary Beth Barone [09:19]
"It was like the movies. It was like, meet your heroes if they're Charlie XCX and Katy Perry."
— Benito Skinner [10:14]

“It was truly one of the greatest moments of my life. My sister, like, sobbed about it. She was like, literally, it’s like, full…”
— Benito Skinner [11:38]

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4. Gambling: Responsible Fun or Dangerous Game?

• Gambling emerges as Benny’s “ride” of the week, and he strongly caveats responsible play.
• Their casino night after Katy Perry’s show is recounted play-by-play: the elevator encounter, running to Prada, hitting the roulette table, and Benny’s lucky bet on seven.
• Both reflect on the ethics and pitfalls of gambling, emphasizing purpose, moderation, and the different energies women and queer folks bring to a casino floor.

Notable Quotes:

"I'm only riding for gambling in the sense of me gambling in this specific moment was super fun, and I think I'll never do it again."
— Benito Skinner [21:15]

"Purposeful gambling, you guys. It can be fun… please, as long as it's not hurting anyone."
— Benito Skinner [23:21]

“I ride for gambling. You sort of changed my mind on it. Because when I had seen people gamble in the past, it just made me really deeply, deeply sad… I think watching a gay guy do it just put a whole new spin on things.”
— Mary Beth Barone [40:34]

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5. French Manicures: A Love Letter

• Mary Beth declares her “ride” of the week: French manicures. A full exploration of:
  • Childhood memories with her mother’s house-call manicurist, Susie
  • The enduring femininity and accessibility of a French mani
  • How nail care connects her to her mom and to adult womanhood
  • Friendship as witnessed through tiny rituals like nails, lotion, and hand care

Memorable Quotes:

“To me, the picture of femininity was someone with a French manicure. Be it short, long, square, rectangle, oval. That’s just, like, everything I thought that being an adult woman was about.”
— Mary Beth Barone [33:39]

“Anyone can get a French manicure now. I'm so happy that we live in a society where manicures are just more accessible. You don’t just have to identify as a woman.”
— Mary Beth Barone [33:51]

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6. Sex and the City & Paris Moments

• The hosts spiral into a loving, nostalgic riff on SATC’s Paris episodes—how humiliating and relatable Carrie’s Dior faceplant is, and how much they relate to the “book signing” scene as performers.

“Is there any greater moment than when Carrie looks into her vintage Christian Dior… She goes to her clutch… finds the Carrie necklace… chills up and down my spine.”
— Benito Skinner [35:32-35:44]

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7. Ride or Die Segment

• Mary Beth rides for: Gambling (with responsible queer flair)
• Benny rides for: French manicures ("what makes a woman")
• Banter on trans women, JK Rowling, and Linkin Park nails—classic irreverence, and a sweet defense of joyful, gender-affirming aesthetics.

“And trans women are women. Fudge you, jk.”
— Mary Beth Barone [42:14]
"She has never had a French manicure. No. Not a day in her fucking life."
— Benito Skinner [42:22]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

(With Timestamps)

• [02:38] Mary Beth: "Then Benny goes, where's Fucker Jones?"
• [10:14] Benito: "...it was like the movies. It was like, meet your heroes if they're Charlie XCX and Katy Perry."
• [11:38] Benito: "It was truly one of the greatest moments of my life. My sister, like, sobbed about it."
• [21:15] Benito: "I'm only riding for gambling in the sense of me gambling in this specific moment was super fun, and I think I'll never do it again."
• [33:39] Mary Beth: "...the picture of femininity was someone with a French manicure."
• [42:14] Mary Beth: "And trans women are women. Fudge you, jk."
• [42:22] Benito: "She has never had a French manicure. No. Not a day in her fucking life."

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Important Timestamps & Segments

• [00:35 – 01:22]: Heritage Collection intro; concept explained
• [01:56 – 03:06]: Story of the Denver show, Live Nation rep & “Fucker Jones” anecdote
• [05:06 – 10:44]: Vegas trip, Katy Perry show, meet and greet, inside moments
• [17:18 – 23:35]: Gambling in Vegas, responsible play, roulette luck, casino vignettes
• [32:20 – 39:51]: Love letter to French manicures—memories, meanings, and technique
• [35:10 – 36:27]: Sex and the City Paris episode analysis
• [40:25 – 44:56]: Ride or Die picks, gender, nails, subversive affirmations

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Tone & Language

• Warm, riff-heavy, and rapid-fire comedic banter
• Intimate, self-deprecating, and inclusive, with sharp pop culture asides and loving jabs
• Joyfully irreverent with moments of real emotional depth and vulnerability

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For Listeners Who Missed the Episode

This episode is a perfect “capsule” of the podcast’s brand: wild personal stories at the intersection of pop culture worship, queer joy, and nostalgic millennial touchstones. You’ll witness the spontaneous creation of inside jokes (“Fucker Jones”), see celebrity fandom reframed through fresh (manicured) hands, and get an honest, comedic (but responsible) look at indulgence, celebration, and self-care—all while the hosts seamlessly balance silliness, insight, and platonic devotion.

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Final note:

“Go get a French manicure. Put it all on seven. Have a good time. Katy Perry, we love you, Kid Fucker Jones, see you on tour!”
— Mary Beth Barone & Benito Skinner [44:49]

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Transcript

[Mary Beth Barone]

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. Hey, can you come pick me up? Yeah.

[Benito Skinner]

What's wrong?

[Mary Beth Barone]

Nothing.

[Benito Skinner]

Are you sure?

[Mary Beth Barone]

Yeah, no, I just need a ride.

[Benito Skinner]

Ride. Ride.

[Mary Beth Barone]

I just want to have fun.

[Benito Skinner]

Start your engine.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Take it.

[Benito Skinner]

I'm Benito Skinner.

[Mary Beth Barone]

I'm Mary Beth Barone and this is Ride.

[Benito Skinner]

Ride.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Hello and welcome to the Ride Heritage Collection.

[Benito Skinner]

The Heritage Collection.

[Mary Beth Barone]

This is something new we're trying where we are going to release iconic heritage episodes of the podcast in no particular order and we're going to retitle them so you know exactly which iconic moment to expect. Moments that come to mind. The lesbian cop at Ride Live Massive we're talking about. I'm your sister.

[Benito Skinner]

I was there. It was rare.

[Mary Beth Barone]

It was rare. NDA and of course, how many chickens there are in the world.

[Benito Skinner]

Ah, I just got a boner. Oh my God. Wait. Mary Beth just cut her finger and is bleeding.

[Mary Beth Barone]

I guess we have to go enjoy this episode. We hope it's a tasty treat for you. We're gonna have fun going through the archives and picking out these episodes for you.

[Benito Skinner]

Think about what we're doing right now. We do exist in the world. Isn't that trippy to think about? Let's go on the journey for the ride Heritage Collection. How do these things stay in the air? You're feeling so amigo. New era alert.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Oh, I didn't know you were starting with that.

[Benito Skinner]

New air alert. You're feeling so amigo. Hey. Oh my God.

[Mary Beth Barone]

We have so many new eras coming out of our Denver show. First of all, Jones. So we had a rep from Live Nation at the show helping us and

[Benito Skinner]

not rep from Live Nation. Yeah, we made it, sister. Did anyone buy 500 tickets to the tour? We are so sorry. We have like Ticketmaster. You are wrong. That's my big statement of the day.

[Mary Beth Barone]

We like to be accessible.

[Benito Skinner]

We're so sorry. That was not us. We not price tour tickets at $500. Although I can't say it's not worth it because it's a great couple hours of comedy.

[Mary Beth Barone]

You could say it's priceless of me

[Benito Skinner]

doing stand up and you and me

[Mary Beth Barone]

with my thumb in my butt.

[Benito Skinner]

I'm up your booty.

[Mary Beth Barone]

So we had a rep from Live Nation and we, we needed to start. And then Benny goes, where's fucker Fucker Jones?

[Benito Skinner]

Well, I just get nervous before the show, so I just think, I'm only talking to Mary Beth. He was right outside the door. I open the door and he's there and I go, miles, he would have loved to Be called.

[Mary Beth Barone]

I think he heard me because I did repeat it. And then I opened the door and he was right there. So then we get back to the hotel after the show, which, by the way, the show was an absolute smash. We had the time of our lives.

[Benito Skinner]

Denver is so cute. They all have little beanies.

[Mary Beth Barone]

So then we get back to the hotel, and Metro station's just been stuck in my head for a while. The song metro Station, do you dig it like this? Could you touch it like that?

[Benito Skinner]

Come on. Like this. When you move it like that. Come on. And then I don't know what happened. I was. It was my birthday.

[Mary Beth Barone]

We were on Only fans.

[Benito Skinner]

We were on Only Fans. Look at porn with your bestie.

[Mary Beth Barone]

My present to Venny was a subscription to Only fans.

[Benito Skinner]

Yeah, it was interesting.

[Mary Beth Barone]

So then we're singing Shake it by Metro Station, Miley Cyrus's brother, And all of a sudden, you come out with,

[Benito Skinner]

you're feeling sour, amigo. You're feeling so amigo.

[Mary Beth Barone]

And you did it 10 times. And I said, please don't forget that.

[Benito Skinner]

Don't forget. I was in the shower. I was in the shower. You were looking at my penis. And you said, please. I said, penis on red. Please don't forget this. And I said, there is no way I will forget that. The next morning.

[Mary Beth Barone]

No, before bed. Before bed, I said, what is it? And you said, I can't remember. The next morning. The next morning, we're in the car, and you go, I'm feeling so Miguel. And you said to me, you know how when you sleep, your brain decides what's important and what's not important to keep? Well, we figured it out.

[Benito Skinner]

We figured it out. My brain said, mm, mm. None of that. No. So amigo. And it's the inside out. The cast of Inside out was all looking at each other, and they go, keep. That's a keep. Keep it. You're feeling so amigo. And then you're feeling, no, amigo. Terry likes it, which is huge. Immediately he goes, oh, I like that one. Because he'll let me know if he doesn't like the era. Because, you know, which doesn't help. It doesn't matter. I don't care about the reviews. I don't read reviews.

[Mary Beth Barone]

They don't build the statues of critics.

[Benito Skinner]

Exactly. I don't read the letterboxd reviews. I just let it happen. They don't build statues of critics. We are fun today.

[Mary Beth Barone]

We're having fun, Kat.

[Benito Skinner]

I love you, Cad. Vegas, baby. That's what you get. That's what you get for waking up in Vegas. It was my birthday. I had never been to Vegas. I know I don't care about my birthday. But this year, I guess other people cared and they treated me to really special things, which is really sweet. It felt great to feel.

[Mary Beth Barone]

It was so fun to celebrate you.

[Benito Skinner]

It was amazing.

[Mary Beth Barone]

It didn't feel like you were making demands. We were just celebrating you because we wanted to. Yeah, that was magical.

[Benito Skinner]

It was less pressure based, I would say, hopefully for the guests of the birthday.

[Mary Beth Barone]

I had the time of my. I mean, we went to Vegas and we went to see Katy Perry.

[Benito Skinner]

It's like, how do we even start this? Because everyone who's listened to this and obsessed Marshall Bleepett, they know the lore.

[Mary Beth Barone]

She's our most decorated topic on the podcast because we did her as a general.

[Benito Skinner]

She's our most decorated figure.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Our most generated.

[Benito Skinner]

Our most generated figure. Liebach Daimov.

[Mary Beth Barone]

So back on obsessed. Bleep it. You did Gaga, I did Katy Perry. That was a huge episode. Then we did Katie killing the nun in the real estate dispute.

[Benito Skinner]

I like the word saying killing the nun.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Well, you know.

[Benito Skinner]

Yeah.

[Mary Beth Barone]

And then we did Katie as a judge on American Idol, which, Slow down, enunciate the words. And she told us that, yeah, she was a firecracker.

[Benito Skinner]

She is. So I'm giving these tickets and in it, it's a meet and greet. And I'm thinking, oh, my God. I. I feeling so amigo. I was feeling no amigo. I was so scared. I was so nervous. They bring us down into this room where it has play, and the show was just. I mean, we'll get into it, but it's fabulous. It's like, it's so playful. Period play as a concept. And we go down to the meet and greet. We were sitting with a woman who loved Jeffrey Star from Wyoming and didn't love Katy Perry.

[Mary Beth Barone]

But can we talk about.

[Benito Skinner]

She got like free tickets or something?

[Mary Beth Barone]

No. So what happened was. What happened was we saw a woman being escorted out. She was wearing bedazzled cowboy boots.

[Benito Skinner]

Oh, my God. And she goes, I watched this whole thing. And I went, I wish I had a camera. A husband is escorting his wife off. And she goes, I want to meet her. And he goes, you lost your chance. And she goes, I want to meet her. He goes, you're too drunk. And then she said, I paid for the tickets. He goes, I paid for the tickets. And he escorted her out. That should have been. All I saw was the London heckler. And what should have been. That's what a good friend does or a good husband.

[Mary Beth Barone]

All I saw was a woman horizontal, with bedazzled cowboy boots, just leaving. I just saw the back of her.

[Benito Skinner]

Yeah.

[Mary Beth Barone]

So then we sit on the inflatable furniture, which was at the meet and greet, and the woman across from us, who had also had lip filler, she was explaining to me that she was there with the London heckler's protege. She was there with the woman who had been escorted out. She said this happens all the time. They went to see Lionel Richie and they had to leave the concert early because she got too drunk. So this is a frequent occurrence. And she had flown in that day from Wyoming. There was a five hour delay. I know this woman's entire life story.

[Benito Skinner]

Well, she looked at me and she said, she does this all time. I was like, okay, what? I was like, what is she talking about? I jumped in. In the middle of your conversation.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Yeah.

[Benito Skinner]

And it was. The traction you two had made was just. It was incredible.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Started another podcast.

[Benito Skinner]

Exactly.

[Mary Beth Barone]

So I would love.

[Benito Skinner]

I know who she rides for.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Oh, yeah. Jeffree Star. So she's pulling up images of Jeffree Star with Jeffree Star's gu at their meat and makeup store in Wyoming.

[Benito Skinner]

You know when someone hands you the.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Or is it Montana?

[Benito Skinner]

Wyoming, Yak meat and makeup. And she hands me the phone and she goes, I just love him. And I was like, what am I looking at? It was Jeffree star with a pink

[Mary Beth Barone]

gun in the store and her niece.

[Benito Skinner]

And her niece.

[Mary Beth Barone]

So then she goes on to say that she only wears Jeffree Star makeup.

[Benito Skinner]

Also, you didn't need to tell me you love Jeffree Star makeup. I can tell.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Oh, and. And to just punctuate that story, I know how much her house costs. $75,000. She told Mary an hour to the closest Walmart. You do not know my story until you've walked a mile in my air force ones. People love to tell me stuff. They love to be mean to me. As you saw with the flight attendant.

[Benito Skinner]

Oh, she was so evil.

[Mary Beth Barone]

I got verbally abused by a flight attendant.

[Benito Skinner]

She was so evil too. And a doll.

[Mary Beth Barone]

To me, it was crazy. But anyway, there are easier ways to tell us.

[Benito Skinner]

You listen to Ryan.

[Mary Beth Barone]

So I would say, meeting Katy Perry, I completely went speechless.

[Benito Skinner]

You were so adorable. Can I describe you? Because it's like you don't even know how cute you looked. Mary Beth had her hair up. She had the cutest little outfit on. She was, like, just smiling and had these, like, rosy cheeks. I'm like, I. I completely dissociated because Katie was like, oh, my God, so gagged for you.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Oh, I love so gagged for you. It was like, it was just beautiful to watch, like two of your heroes just interacting.

[Benito Skinner]

It was insane because, like, I. I went to the California Dreams tour when I was in the. I bought Teenage Dream, like the album. It's literally like my favorite album of all time. I. It is just. She was everything to me and is everything to me. And so in high school, like the closeted me who's in the locker room being like Katy Perry sexy. That's why I have a poster of her in my room. That's so power. It was so powerful.

[Mary Beth Barone]

It was really full circle moment.

[Benito Skinner]

It was. Yeah, it was insane. It was like the movies.

[Mary Beth Barone]

It was like meet your heroes if

[Benito Skinner]

they're Charlie XCX and Katy Perry. Fucker Jones. So that woman was so Fucker Jones. By the way, that's Fucker Jones's wife. So Mrs. Fucker Jones. Fucker Jones. I kind of miss her, I won't lie. So Katie, it just. I'm like, so. I'm just out of body. Out of body. She goes over to Mary Beth and you're just so cute. You're just a little girl. And then she fixes your hair to show off the Prada logo.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Yeah. That was huge.

[Benito Skinner]

We talked about the podcast a little bit. Just seeing you in that moment, it

[Mary Beth Barone]

was so seeing you in that moment and it was just. I don't know, I feel like it's been a tough year and I just felt so happy that you had that.

[Benito Skinner]

Yeah.

[Mary Beth Barone]

And then she goes to you. I'm bringing you on stage tonight.

[Benito Skinner]

What she ignited in. That was such a deep fear. And I also thought, like, maybe she won't. Like, there's no. I'm not really seeing that. So we go to our seats and we're watching the show and we're just like. I mean, we're in lala.

[Mary Beth Barone]

We're having the time of our lives.

[Benito Skinner]

It's a camp masterpiece. I had the time of my life. And then it gets to swish, swish. Another one in the casket and I. You had to put me in the casket after that, Miss Girl? Because, yeah, she. She brought me on stage and I

[Mary Beth Barone]

was like, for a dance off.

[Benito Skinner]

I was bashful and charming. Thank you, sweetie.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Handsome.

[Benito Skinner]

Thank you, sweetie. Thank God I had a sequin shirt in my bag. I didn't know. I always have a sequined shirt in your bag. You never know when Katy Perry might bring you up for swish, swish.

[Mary Beth Barone]

And you have to answer the call.

[Benito Skinner]

It was truly one of the greatest moments of my life. My sister, like, sobbed about it. She was like, literally is like full.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Like, this is going to come up a lot because I don't even know that we fully processed it yet.

[Benito Skinner]

No. So this was just a quick, like. Yeah. And then after we had our Katy Perry shirts on, she gave us these shirts where it was like her cannons. Yeah, her amazing cannons in this, like, soda, like Coke. What are those called?

[Mary Beth Barone]

Like, the bottle. The little bottle can caps. Yeah, the little cans.

[Benito Skinner]

The dress. And it was like the body dresses, which I would love for ride merch. We had them on and Terry was like, well, you've never been to Vegas. We should go down and you should do like roulette or something. And that's how I get into what I ride for this week.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Oh, my God.

[Benito Skinner]

Gambling.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Wow. This is gonna be a great episode.

[Benito Skinner]

Yeah.

[Mary Beth Barone]

And this week I'm going to be riding for French manicures.

[Benito Skinner]

We're failing. So, Migo, let's go.

[Mary Beth Barone]

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[Benito Skinner]

Who cares? Ride Gambling. So I of course things just don't go without saying anymore. So I'm gonna say it. I'm not telling you before I start this to spend money that you don't have. Don't spend your hard earned cash on this. If, if you still need to pay

[Mary Beth Barone]

rent or don't spend your kids college, spend your life savings. Don't spend your 401.

[Benito Skinner]

Don't spend other people's money. I would say unless you're a woman and it's a man's money. But if you're a man and you're spending mama's money or her family money, I'm going like this. I'm fighting and I'm ready to go.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Yeah.

[Benito Skinner]

Will you be my witness?

[Mary Beth Barone]

Can I get a witness?

[Benito Skinner]

We're in Vegas, Vejasan. What do you want me to say, Cad? So we go downstairs, we're in the Wynn, which, I mean, that's a whole city in itself. You ran to Prada. You were on the hunt. We have to post that. We won't talk too much about what you can't see, but picture my girl sprinting to Prada.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Our flight was delayed, then our Uber went in a complete circle. For no reason.

[Benito Skinner]

And then you found out we were meeting her.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Yeah, So I had to run.

[Benito Skinner]

Not walk, sprinted. It was like. No, it was on the hop. It was incredible to see your gait in the win. So the end of the night, we're on such a high. And so we go downstairs, we have our Katy Perry merch on.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Well, don't forget, I got hit on in the elevator.

[Benito Skinner]

Oh, my God. How could I forget this? We're in the elevator and every now and then I'm sure so many gay men feel me on this, but you know when, like, you see the way that women get hit on, like, it's so disturbing. And it's like out of body. Because you're like, oh, my God. So we go up in the elevator and this guy's like, you said something about, are you gonna change?

[Mary Beth Barone]

Yeah, we wanted to put on some pants.

[Benito Skinner]

Yeah. And. And you were like, oh, well, I might not put my pants on. I might just have like my Katy Perry shirt. And then this guy, all of a sudden, he pops out of nowhere. Girl Taylor's oldest time. And where are we going? I was like, what?

[Mary Beth Barone]

Where are we going?

[Benito Skinner]

Where are we going?

[Mary Beth Barone]

I said, oh, we're just going to change. He says, so we're not wearing pants tonight, but like, in a kind of skeezy way.

[Benito Skinner]

Yeah.

[Mary Beth Barone]

But I was like, you know what this is? Sometimes you just respond for sport.

[Benito Skinner]

Yeah, totally.

[Mary Beth Barone]

And I was like, yeah, well, I'll be wearing a dress, so. And I was like, I don't know. I said something like, so go take your pants off or whatever.

[Benito Skinner]

Yeah.

[Mary Beth Barone]

And then he was like, we'll see at excess. And then ding. Saved by the bell.

[Benito Skinner]

Yeah.

[Mary Beth Barone]

The elevator opened and I was like,

[Benito Skinner]

he didn't know that I was ready

[Mary Beth Barone]

with the, with the. With that boom boom is to die for.

[Benito Skinner]

Literally, this boom boom based die for.

[Mary Beth Barone]

So it's good. Yeah. I didn't feel unsafe. Like, they were just drunk and being silly.

[Benito Skinner]

Yeah. He. I will say it was like, yeah. And you had big pop up. So then we go down to play roulette.

[Mary Beth Barone]

You know roulette is the Katy. Katy Perry song.

[Benito Skinner]

I know. Sing it again.

[Mary Beth Barone]

I can't.

[Benito Skinner]

Okay, so. And also Rihanna. Russian roulette, baby. So that's what I thought we were playing. I brought my pink gun.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Oh, yeah, you had your pink gun in your. In your holster.

[Benito Skinner]

My holster? Jeffree star style. Oh, I'm sure she. I know she was at the tables that night. So we go down and I just get a little bit of money. I'M not. I'm like, this is not. This isn't my life. I'm not a gambler. And seeing a lot of people at the tables did make me sad that they had definitely been there a long time. And you're kind of just watching people

[Mary Beth Barone]

just like, my thing with gambling that makes me uncomfortable is just that people think they're gonna win. I know they genuinely believe that they're gonna win. And then they keep spending their money. And I think to myself, do you like, I'm just too much of an empath for gambling.

[Benito Skinner]

I know the house always wins. Come on, kid. But not this night. So I'm only writing for gambling in the sense of me gambling in this specific moment was super fun, and I think I'll never do it again.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Yeah, well, it's special occasion. It's recreational. You're not. You're not going to try to become a professional. Although I did decide that I'm going to learn how to count cards.

[Benito Skinner]

Oh, this is my favorite. We'll talk about that in a minute. So we go to this table. We got like. It was like, literally a hundred bucks that we were playing with. We were not trying to be. Yeah, I was like, we. We barely got any money out. I put a hundred thousand dollars on the table and, you know, we had fun.

[Mary Beth Barone]

We just threw the chips and we watched where they landed.

[Benito Skinner]

Yeah, exactly. No, I put all my chips on seven and I won. It landed on seven on the first roll. Penny drama. Seven. I mean, come on. It's my birth name.

[Mary Beth Barone]

It was incredible.

[Benito Skinner]

So in that moment, it was so fun. And there was a woman at the table who I both like. I. I felt so much empathy. She was so iconic to me.

[Mary Beth Barone]

This is a really good table.

[Benito Skinner]

This is a good table. Ks. Oh, God. What are you going to do? Like, you just can't.

[Mary Beth Barone]

And then you put it on the. And the number.

[Benito Skinner]

You got another. Terry was smoking cigarettes. Sorry.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Inside. Welcome to Vegas.

[Benito Skinner]

Welcome to Vegas. Everything smells like meat and cigarettes. And the woman's. You're another one of those, kid. She said she's.

[Mary Beth Barone]

You're going to leave.

[Benito Skinner]

If I'm thinking about this, I really ride for gambling with purpose gambling.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Purposeful pop.

[Benito Skinner]

Purposeful pop. Gambling with respect for yourself and you know what? Gambling to make sure the house doesn't win. And that's what we did that night. And after that, I was like, nope, I won. I won.

[Mary Beth Barone]

You won?

[Benito Skinner]

Yeah. I doubled my money and we cashed out. I went like this. I cashed out, gave a bill to you.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Cash out and get the hell out of town.

[Benito Skinner]

I'm feeling so. Let me go. So. So. That's what I'm saying. Purposeful gambling, you guys. It can be fun. And I also think I've always liked this. And I didn't realize as a kid I would do this with, like, clothes or toys or I'd be like, bet on things and just keep it light and fun.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Keep it light.

[Benito Skinner]

Do not. Please. As long as it's not hurting anyone.

[Mary Beth Barone]

As long as no draft kings.

[Benito Skinner]

No. God, no. As long as it's not hurting anyone. Including yourself.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Yeah.

[Benito Skinner]

Okay. Please.

[Mary Beth Barone]

We care about you.

[Benito Skinner]

I saw some people at those tables, and that made me sad, but my version of gambling was just so fun and so cool.

[Mary Beth Barone]

It was fun. It was. It was part of the night. It wasn't the whole night exactly.

[Benito Skinner]

And it was just like. I don't know. It was really special. It's my birthday. I put it on seven. I was. I have my two wives next to me, and rarely do people have both of their wives at the same roulette table. Almost never would have added a third wife. If that woman wanted to come up with us, she'd be like, bloomer planted.

[Mary Beth Barone]

What is that?

[Benito Skinner]

I. Do. You know what I mean? She would have, like, figured out something. You're going to think about that tomorrow. Sometimes you text me days after and

[Mary Beth Barone]

you're like, wait, that's crazy.

[Benito Skinner]

But, yeah, she. She definitely has the nuclear codes and

[Mary Beth Barone]

she's not telling anyone.

[Benito Skinner]

So that's my big thing on gambling. So then we go to the elevator, and we're in it, and it's me, Terry, and Mary Beth. We're so proud of ourselves because the house didn't win.

[Mary Beth Barone]

I lost my chips. I do want to say that I bet twice and lost, and that was okay because I'm not. It's friendly competition.

[Benito Skinner]

Yeah. The chips I gave you.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, it wasn't my money. Well, women shouldn't bet, win Ben Stein's money. And not everyone talks about that, but I know when Ben Skinner's money.

[Benito Skinner]

Ye.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Exactly. I lost it. But you won back more than what I had lost as well.

[Benito Skinner]

Totally. And that was my whole thing.

[Mary Beth Barone]

You quit while you were ahead.

[Benito Skinner]

I'm not going to make someone gamble with me and use their own money. I mean.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Well, I also don't have an ATM card because I left it at a bar about four months ago.

[Benito Skinner]

And men make, you know, 10 times to the dollar what a woman makes, so it's up to me to, like,

[Mary Beth Barone]

fill that gap Totally.

[Benito Skinner]

No, like, literally.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Yeah.

[Benito Skinner]

So we're in the elevator, and on the way up, Mary Beth goes, I'm going to start counting cards. And Terry.

[Mary Beth Barone]

I didn't say that. I said, I. I'm going to learn how to count cards for next time we come to Vegas. And then I go, 1, 2, 3, 4.

[Benito Skinner]

And Terry goes, do not say that. We were both like. That's like saying bomb in an airport.

[Mary Beth Barone]

If you whisper it, it's fine.

[Benito Skinner]

They were watching. Well, you did this after. I mean, they lost a couple hundred bucks that night, kid. The wind was worried. They go, who. Who won? Who won 200 bucks?

[Mary Beth Barone]

And they had the elevators bugged.

[Benito Skinner]

Well, I know the elevators are bugged at the win.

[Mary Beth Barone]

What's stressful to me about having a casino because obviously I've been offered and I've always said no is it is truly a living, breathing thing. And they never close. And I just. I'm like, how do you have a staff meeting? How do you, like, send out, like, something to everyone to be like, this is the new rule? Because it's like, it's just always open. There's a living organism there. But I also want to say, for people that grew up in the Northeast, there was this iconic Foxwoods commercial. Because Foxwoods is a big casino in Connecticut. Upstate. Ish. Like mid state.

[Benito Skinner]

Well, we gotta go.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Take a chance. Make it happen. Pop the corks, finger snap in. Spin the wheel. Round and round we go. And I was in the restaurant. But it's an iconic commercial. I know the entire song. It was played a lot. This is when commercials were commercials. Chocolate of the gods.

[Benito Skinner]

We should ride for those someday. Because I remember if you get in the zone.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Auto zone, totally.

[Benito Skinner]

There was this one where it was like, go, team Simone. It was.

[Mary Beth Barone]

What about ant Twins?

[Benito Skinner]

This woman. Don't start. This woman was in, I think her family's car dealership commercials. And it was, go team, Save money. But I think she was one of those people who think they have an amazing voice, which I will ride for. I think they're God's chosen people.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Definitely.

[Benito Skinner]

They are literally like, they're incredible. But she goes, girl. Team Simon. Like, you know, she was.

[Mary Beth Barone]

She was giving it her all in the studio, hopefully.

[Benito Skinner]

And she had pom poms to. Go Team Simone. And my mom thought she was dressed like a hoe.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Of course she did.

[Benito Skinner]

So that's my big thing on gambling. Please do it safely to my queers and my women. Spend anyone else's money if you want.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Spend.

[Benito Skinner]

I don't care about that. But just, you know, do it safely, please. And just have a little fun and purposeful gambling. I don't want the house to win. Let's get them back.

[Mary Beth Barone]

But while you're up, that's what I say. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all in one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just starting out or scaling your business, Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain, showcase your offerings with a professional website, grow your brand and get paid all in one place. Fundraise directly on your website and grow your impact with built in donation tools. Create a professional on brand website that makes it easy to accept one time or recurring contributions and engage supporters. With built in email campaigns and marketing tools, you can connect with your community and inspire more people to support your cause. My cause. Being a comedian, Squarespace makes it easy to showcase your expertise and engage clients with video content on your website. Upload and organize Organize your videos, create stunning video libraries and even monetize your content by adding a paywall. Perfect for online courses, exclusive tutorials and premium workshops. Looking to grow your business now you can get fast, easy financing through Squarespace Capital. The application process takes just a few minutes and approval happens in a matter of days. If you're approved, funds will be deposited in your bank account in three to four business days so you can grow quickly. Avoid the hassle of traditional loan process. This is so fascinating and easily access financing through Squarespace Capital. Loans are issued by Celtic bank and service by stripe. All loans are subject to credit approval. Head to squarespace.com ride for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use offer code RIDE to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Say goodbye to hangxiety once and for all with Senior. I know why you're sighing. It's because you just finished your senorita and you want more.

[Benito Skinner]

Hey, the wife. Another senorita please.

[Mary Beth Barone]

The Senorita THC margaritas are non alcoholic margaritas that swap tequila for thc. I mean, I love these stinking drinks. I have a pack of them in my fridge at all times. THC never tasted so good. Lime jalapeno is a bold balanced taste with just the right amount of heat. Mango margarita is a vibrant tropical twist on the classic Marg grapefruit.

[Benito Skinner]

Paloma is a bright balanced refresher. And ranch water is dry, bright and endlessly crushable. Just like Mary Beth Perrone.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Oh my God. Dry and endlessly crushable. That should Be you tell that to somebody. No, tell it to one person.

[Benito Skinner]

Oh my God. Literally. If you're looking for alcohol alternatives, senorita is a great option because it's non alcoholic, low calorie, but still gives you a chill buzz without ruining tomorrow.

[Mary Beth Barone]

It's my not so secret trick for staying social without spiraling into Sunday scaries. I love that I can bring senorita to a party or a hang in everyone's can find their pace. For a better buzz without the Booze, check out SenoritaDrinks.com find Senorita and any of their four delicious flavors at SenoritaDrinks.com your cabana awaits. Visit SenoritaDrinks.com to get these delicious THC marks shipped right to your door. Must be 21 plus. Please enjoy responsibly.

[Benito Skinner]

Jesus, girl. You just talked a mile a minute.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Slow down.

[Benito Skinner]

Slow. Enunciate your words.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Always.

[Benito Skinner]

Yes. Never. Yeah.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Never. Yeah.

[Benito Skinner]

Miss Congeniality. Yes.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Never.

[Benito Skinner]

Ya.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Benny, if I'm not mistaken, you were with a horse recently that was wearing a bob. Do you want to talk about that?

[Benito Skinner]

I was with a horse wearing a bob. And it was for Venmo. And I'm a Venmo patron and I have been for a very long time.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Venmo user, loud and proud.

[Benito Skinner]

Everyone needs Venmo. I say that to everyone.

[Mary Beth Barone]

The great equalizer. Oh yeah.

[Benito Skinner]

Oh my God.

[Mary Beth Barone]

I'm always calling Venmo the Great equalizer. This magic moment.

[Benito Skinner]

Do the 50s twist. That's what Venmo is always telling me to do. I literally nothing makes me happier. I love scanning the QR code.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Oh my God.

[Benito Skinner]

Let me go straight to your account.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Here's the thing people don't realize. Venmo is more than just a way to transfer money.

[Benito Skinner]

Yeah.

[Mary Beth Barone]

To and from your friend.

[Benito Skinner]

You always say this at parties.

[Mary Beth Barone]

I'm always bringing this up because I'm talking about Venmo stash.

[Benito Skinner]

Yeah, it's Vemo stash.

[Mary Beth Barone]

And I just want to read some things about Venmo Stash because I don't want to get it wrong.

[Benito Skinner]

Can you please?

[Mary Beth Barone]

Because the experts know exactly what they're doing.

[Benito Skinner]

Because I was off book for my Venmo ads. But this is kind of like this is my moment.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Can I have my moment with the Venmo debit card? Instantly access and spend your Venmo balance online or in store with no monthly fee or minimum. Balance.

[Benito Skinner]

That's right.

[Mary Beth Barone]

That's one. Okay. I'm going to tell you three things about this card.

[Benito Skinner]

That's that's one.

[Mary Beth Barone]

That's one.

[Benito Skinner]

Let me tell you, it's just the beginning.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Two. You can use your card to earn always on cash back with Venmo's rewards program, Venmo Stash, where the more you do, the more cash back you can get. You choose the bundle brands you can get cash back at and you can keep them or swap them out every 30 days. Venmo helps keep your account and card safe with 247 fraud monitoring and card lock. Get the Venmo debit card today. The Venmo MasterCard is issued by Bancorp Bank N.A. pursuant to license by MasterCard International Incorporated. ID verification required. Venmo Stash bundle terms and exclusions apply. See terms@venmo me terms max $100 cash back per month. So this is our Vegas episode and I would be remiss if I didn't ride for one of the most Vegas things about me, French manicures, which I have on right now.

[Benito Skinner]

Oh, my God. Do you know who else loves French manicures?

[Mary Beth Barone]

Your mom. My mom too.

[Benito Skinner]

The Lightbox diamond herself.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Yeah. French manicures in the 90s, early 2000s were like a huge moment for moms.

[Benito Skinner]

My mom gets them on her toes, period. Patty said, I'm not just one thing.

[Mary Beth Barone]

I am not just one thing. And do things for yourself. Bring yourself joy any way that you possibly can.

[Benito Skinner]

Totally.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Growing up, my mom had a manicurist who we would go to her house and she would get nails.

[Benito Skinner]

House calls.

[Mary Beth Barone]

House calls. Her name was Susie and I loved going to Susie's house. But all I wanted in the world were fake nails. Like I wanted acrylic nails. My mom would get them oval shaped with a French French manicure. She didn't dark nail polish. She taught me this young when it chips, it's really noticeable. So if you can't get out quick enough, you start to really notice that.

[Benito Skinner]

Oop, I just missed your mom. I felt it in my gut.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Yeah, I miss her too. When we would go to Susie's house, that was like a fun thing for me because it's like, it's Susie's house. And she ended up doing my prom makeup as well. Susie was really a woman of all trades.

[Benito Skinner]

Oh, Susie's the last Renaissance.

[Mary Beth Barone]

And she did bikini waxes, too.

[Benito Skinner]

Yeah, she took care of the pushy, the fingers and the face.

[Mary Beth Barone]

And the face.

[Benito Skinner]

Wait, she's out?

[Mary Beth Barone]

She's not just one thing?

[Benito Skinner]

No, she is not just Santa's workshop. Yeah.

[Mary Beth Barone]

So that was always like a huge little excursion for me and my mom because, like, I would always go with her. And it was just like me and my mom.

[Benito Skinner]

Mom.

[Mary Beth Barone]

And as the youngest of six kids, it's like any alone time you can get with mom, like, that's just cherished.

[Benito Skinner]

Totally.

[Mary Beth Barone]

So to me, the picture of femininity was someone with a French manicure. Be it short, long, square, rectangle, oval. That's just like everything I thought that being an adult woman was about.

[Benito Skinner]

You're selling me on it. Definitely.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Anyone can get a French manicure now. I'm so happy that we live in a society where manicures are just more accessible. You don't just have to identify as a woman to get a French manicure.

[Benito Skinner]

You know, I bite my nails, which is so sad. Now everyone, you know, well, we'll talk about it in the future. Everyone's so mad and they go, don't get. Yeah. I envy gorgeous nails when I see them. It's just hard. The world is so scary. Like, why wouldn't I bite these? But I respect that you don't. That's a different mental state.

[Mary Beth Barone]

It feels really good. It feels really good.

[Benito Skinner]

So pretty. God, they just look so clean. Well, I love when they do it with a little. The little brush. Yeah, that's.

[Mary Beth Barone]

It's just like. It's very like.

[Benito Skinner]

Or they meticulous into the sponge thing. I don't know. I just nailed it. Nail work. Nail art is incredible.

[Mary Beth Barone]

I'm all about nails.

[Benito Skinner]

It should be in the Louvre.

[Mary Beth Barone]

It should be in the Louvre. I'm filing my nails on work calls,

[Benito Skinner]

broadcast boom, boom, boom, boom, and make them all dance to it.

[Mary Beth Barone]

You're feeling.

[Benito Skinner]

So we go, okay, that'll be on merch soon.

[Mary Beth Barone]

That'll be on merch. I have really small hands. I like having longer nails because it accentuates. It extends the fingers.

[Benito Skinner]

God. Oh, big back scratch potential with those.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Oh, yeah. But I just think they're so classic. And I feel like there was this time, maybe like late 20 teens, where people weren't getting French manicures. I have gotten them since I could grow my nails long enough. I never stopped. I never gave up on the French. I knew that they'd be back in a big way.

[Benito Skinner]

Oh, yeah.

[Mary Beth Barone]

And I.

[Benito Skinner]

You're a trend forecaster.

[Mary Beth Barone]

I am. I am. And that's not shade. I just wish that everyone could experience the joy I feel French. I feel like I'm in Paris.

[Benito Skinner]

Bonsoir.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Bonsoirs, Gary. It's my work. Gary.

[Benito Skinner]

Gary is my work.

[Mary Beth Barone]

It's my work.

[Benito Skinner]

It's what?

[Mary Beth Barone]

It's what I Do Carrie.

[Benito Skinner]

It's what I do.

[Mary Beth Barone]

We just finished the Alexander Petroski era.

[Benito Skinner]

Sorry. Is there any greater moment than when Carrie looks into her vintage Christian Dior speaking of Paris? So we have to talk about that in a sec. And Carrie goes to her clutch and she digs in it for about 20 minutes.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Oh, great. A hole.

[Benito Skinner]

A hole in my door. What? And then she looks and she finds the carry necklace. And you hear. Like that shit. I literally chills up and down my spine. And they go, get to your book signing, Carrie. That's like us being late for Ride Live.

[Mary Beth Barone]

I know. That whole thing broke my heart. I just wish that the writers could have had it. So they were there and she met up with them.

[Benito Skinner]

I know.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Like at the cafe or whatever.

[Benito Skinner]

No, the whole thing is that he. He took her. She lost who she was.

[Mary Beth Barone]

I know, but I just wish for their own sake, for the fans. Because, you know, I'm all about the fans.

[Benito Skinner]

I know. Nothing made me happier. It wasn't the big. It wasn't anything. It's just that she could leave Paris after what she did in Dior that day.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Yeah.

[Benito Skinner]

Or that weeks prior. Carrie slides into. She slides into home base in Christian Dior. This scene.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Slam.

[Benito Skinner]

Grand slam. Hidden park. She horizontal. You want to talk about horizontal? While she falls into your.

[Mary Beth Barone]

She slips because it's raining.

[Benito Skinner]

Oh, my God.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Not only. If that happened to me, would I have to leave the store having bought nothing. I would fake my own death.

[Benito Skinner]

I would he flee Paris next shuttle to the moon.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Yeah, we're done. No, I'm done here. I've done all I can do. Thank you guys so much.

[Benito Skinner]

She's on Virgin Galactic, but I'm flying

[Mary Beth Barone]

up there with the French.

[Benito Skinner]

Exactly.

[Mary Beth Barone]

I just love it. Nail care has always been really important to me. I'm just obsessive about them. I like for them to be filed. I like for them to be the same length. I like for them to be polished. That's just what I like.

[Benito Skinner]

When I have to think of you when we write our separate memoirs. I do. I will think of you on a zoom. Just saying what you think about something really bluntly. Filing your nails.

[Mary Beth Barone]

And you're hearing this because I'm.

[Benito Skinner]

Are you backstage, Tiffany? Check when you're backstage. Filing your nails before a show.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Yeah.

[Benito Skinner]

Just silent.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Well, I want to bring my best for the girls.

[Benito Skinner]

Well, of course.

[Mary Beth Barone]

And that for me means having a French manicure. And I have one right now. And I will say it's totally changed my mood. Every time I look down. When I'M texting. Everything just looks more elegant and more fabulous and more beautiful.

[Benito Skinner]

Well, there's nothing better than sobbing in your car. The nail tech arriving. Is that the right term?

[Mary Beth Barone]

Yeah.

[Benito Skinner]

Nail tech, nail artist.

[Mary Beth Barone]

This is a fresh manicure, A fresh French. I was at your house on Saturday. I had a nail artist come over, a nail technician recommended by our friend Owen Th. She was an absolute perfectionist.

[Benito Skinner]

I could watch her work forever.

[Mary Beth Barone]

She did it so quickly, too. And I had gel X extensions on, so she just took them right off. She put a French on me, and I had gotten out of my car because I was crying in the car, and I just said, can I just have 10 more minutes? And she was like, of course. Oh, my God. No problem. So she had a really eventful day that day.

[Benito Skinner]

Remember a week ago when you caught me sobbing in my car?

[Mary Beth Barone]

Yeah. It's been a big week.

[Benito Skinner]

You were about to prank me.

[Mary Beth Barone]

I was about to prank you. So I was standing in your kitchen. I was standing behind the cabinet.

[Benito Skinner]

This is so sad.

[Mary Beth Barone]

And I was ready to say boo because you didn't know I was there yet. And then I. I peek around because I can. You can see out your kitchen into the garage, and you're just full, sobbing. So I thought, okay, I'm gonna give him one more minute, and then I'm gonna go out there and give him a hug. But I won't scare him.

[Benito Skinner]

Yeah. So then you went, boom.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Yeah. And that was fun. I feel like it really brought you out of it.

[Benito Skinner]

Oh, totally felt great.

[Mary Beth Barone]

But someone. And we've brought this up already once before, I think maybe I can't remember. Always advocate for yourself with nail techs. Trust them to do the job if you know them well. But if you're not happy with the shape, if you're not happy with the filing or the cuticles, speak up.

[Benito Skinner]

Yeah.

[Mary Beth Barone]

And get the manicure you deserve, which is going to be a French. If I could have a permanent French. You know how people tattoo lipstick? If I could do a perma French on my nails, I would.

[Benito Skinner]

My mom kind of does, and she only does gel, which sciences Sephora said is totally safe.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Totally fine.

[Benito Skinner]

Totally cool.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Yeah. I think a lot of stuff we took away from, like, growing up and watching our moms is just, like, so, like, imprinted on us. And for me, this is just, like. You know what? It's an ode to her and to our girls. Yeah. I just. I like to have some Lightbox diamonds to really fill out the tableau. Of course, when I have my French, because it's all about class.

[Benito Skinner]

There's nothing. Because there's nothing better than covering yourself

[Mary Beth Barone]

in light box in diamonds. You can't chop vegetables with a French, though. My mom does. I think it's crass. I don't think you should have to do anything too tough.

[Benito Skinner]

I agree.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Come on, take a load off, kid.

[Benito Skinner]

Take a load.

[Mary Beth Barone]

You know what looks great with a French? Shaking some dice and going.

[Benito Skinner]

Oh, I thought you were. I thought you were, well, choking the chicken.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Hey, mind out of the gutter, kid. Mind out of the gutter, kid. Use your French manicure for good and not evil. Should we get into Ride or Die?

[Benito Skinner]

Yes, of course. You know what you are, Mary Beth.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Bisexual.

[Benito Skinner]

Well, yeah, but you're also my ride or die. Ride or Die.

[Mary Beth Barone]

I ride for gambling. You sort of changed my mind on it. Because when I had seen people gamble in the past, it just made me really deeply, deeply sad. As I said, I'm an empath. So I think watching a gay guy do it just put a whole new spin on things as it.

[Benito Skinner]

As we do.

[Mary Beth Barone]

As we do.

[Benito Skinner]

Are you kidding?

[Mary Beth Barone]

You can totally rewrite the rules. And I feel like you turned me around and I want to go back to Vegas. Last time I went to Vegas, it was a really rushed trip because Edward and I went to see Shania Twain. Then I ate some chicken fingers that gave me the worst burps I've ever had. Really. I needed an exorcist and you met me at Disneyland. And then the next day we'd leave at 8am to drive to Anaheim to meet you at Disneyland. And it was freezing.

[Benito Skinner]

Road trip.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Road trip. So my first time in Vegas, I would say, was a good introduction. This time we got it right. I think next time is going to be perfect. And I want to go to excess.

[Benito Skinner]

No, I know. I want to go to the Dome. The. The Light Dome. We need to ride. I need to do ride. Live in the sphere.

[Mary Beth Barone]

It's. It's 116 full.

[Benito Skinner]

Could you know exactly. Literally, it's 1 100th full. And in the sky. You look up, rabbit, she's right over you. Sorry, I'm losing my words because my low back hurts. So all the words are trapped there. Okay, I don't know what to tell you. So I'm sorry, anyone if I've been quiet for the past last three minutes.

[Mary Beth Barone]

You haven't. My low back is just so everyone can be clear. You're not. You haven't been.

[Benito Skinner]

Jesus. The booty kids. I can only imagine what my low back goes through to carry this dumper around.

[Mary Beth Barone]

No one said it was going to be easy.

[Benito Skinner]

Sorry, kid. Sorry, Jones. I ride for French manicures. I think it's what makes a woman.

[Mary Beth Barone]

And that's what makes a woman. To me, there it is.

[Benito Skinner]

Catherine.

[Mary Beth Barone]

And trans women are women. Fudge you, jk.

[Benito Skinner]

Hey, jk. I know you're fudgeing. Listening, Joe. She has never had a French manicure.

[Mary Beth Barone]

No. Not a day in her fucking life.

[Benito Skinner]

No fudgeing way.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Yeah. I think she should choke.

[Benito Skinner]

Because I think so. I think two things that. But I also think two other things that people either have that or they have Linkin Park After Dark.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Totally.

[Benito Skinner]

I mean, come on. How fabulous is that? But I just. It's like if my mom does something, it's right. So I just don't really have much more to say. Like, my mom's gorgeous hands, which they sometimes are super dry because she's, like, always, like, doing something.

[Mary Beth Barone]

I'm so glad you brought that up, because you and Terri told me that hand lotion is a woman thing. And Terry goes, what? What? Like, I want to put slime on my hands.

[Benito Skinner]

Literally.

[Mary Beth Barone]

It was a huge moment for me to hear that.

[Benito Skinner]

Yeah. Just this.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Your friends can always teach you things.

[Benito Skinner]

Well, there's a story about that, which is crazy to have a story at the end of ride. But we've always played with form here. So we were at my sister Katie's bridal shower, which was just so lovely. My sister Laura put it on. It was amazing. And Terry won this game where you had to guess which one the bride or the groom, like, did something. And Terry won. And the winner got a. What is it?

[Mary Beth Barone]

L Citan l'.

[Benito Skinner]

Occiton. Paris. Carrie Saints doing the super. The. No, the manager of Christendio Sife. Does anyone know Safe in French? Do you have it to us?

[Mary Beth Barone]

Not me, babe.

[Benito Skinner]

Do you know Safe in French, my love? Okay. It's okay. Terri wins this and the rest of the thing. We were both a little hungover because it was after my birthday. And Terry puts the lotion. He goes, so fabulous. Did he get rubbing it on his hands? And then after he goes, I need to wash my hands. They're like. It's, like oily.

[Mary Beth Barone]

But I used some this morning, and I feel amazing.

[Benito Skinner]

So pretty. But, yes, I ride for them. I think they look so lovely on you. And you know what? If I grew out these babies, I would love to get it. I really would.

[Mary Beth Barone]

I think it looks so Trey Chic magazine. That's from Passport to Paris. That's a deep cut. They made a model that was on the COVID of Trey Chic magazine.

[Benito Skinner]

We. You had the sex. We had the sex. We are. I'm sure the French people were confused by their depiction in those two episodes.

[Mary Beth Barone]

I don't think they were. When the daughter goes. When the daughter goes, she's like, so, tell me about the bum. And she just goes.

[Benito Skinner]

She stares at her. Her hair.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Alexander Petrovsky's daughter's hair. And I really hope this is not your first time listening to Ride.

[Benito Skinner]

It's feeling sour, Miguel.

[Mary Beth Barone]

And you'll know what we mean. Thank you, guys. We love you.

[Benito Skinner]

We love you so much.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Go get a French manicure. Put it all on seven. Have a good time.

[Benito Skinner]

Put it all on seven. And Katy Perry. We love you, Kid Fucker Jones. We'll see you on tour. Come see us in San Francisco and Boston. There's still some tickets left for that. Not that many, but we love you.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Kids.

[Benito Skinner]

Bobby. Kids. Oh, my. Exit.

[Mary Beth Barone]

Benny. Babe. Eyes on the road. Benny, look out. Ride. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.