HERITAGE COLLECTION: Quotes That Should Be Taught in Schools

Summary

Podcast Summary: "HERITAGE COLLECTION: Quotes That Should Be Taught in Schools"

Podcast: Ride with Benito Skinner and Mary Beth Barone
Host Network: Dear Media
Episode Air Date: May 13, 2026
Theme: A freewheeling walk down memory lane as Benito and Mary Beth revisit some of their favorite inside jokes, viral phrases, and pop-culture “eras” from Ride and beyond, exploring how certain ideas, lines, and moments became the podcast’s enduring heritage — and why some quotes really should be taught in school.

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Episode Overview

This "Heritage Collection" episode of Ride is a self-referential, irreverent celebration of the in-jokes, iconic lines, and ridiculous moments that have defined Benito Skinner and Mary Beth Barone’s friendship and podcast. The duo alternate between riffing on cultural trends, unpacking their own catchphrases, dissecting the evolution of modern humor, and gleefully proclaiming (and inventing) memes and one-liners worthy of the classroom.

Their humor is self-aware and chaotic, ricocheting between fashion commentary, therapy tidbits, absurd advice, and musings on sexuality, identity, and entertainment — all in the unique “Ride” idiom.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. "Heritage" and the Power of Inside Jokes (00:39–03:28)

• Benito and Mary Beth open by joking about the "Heritage Collection" concept, describing it as a gateway to their classic podcast moments—e.g., the time with a lesbian cop at Ride Live ("iconic moment").
• This episode is about immortalizing recurring bits (“They tried to cancel me,” “How many chickens are there?”), celebrating their podcast’s own mythology.
• Quote:
  • “We are going to release iconic heritage episodes...you know exactly which iconic moment to expect.” (00:40, Benito)

2. Fashion Journeys: Denim, Tailoring, and Local Business (01:22–04:43)

• Benito recounts buying his first pair of APC light wash denim in London, followed by commentary on tailoring and supporting small businesses.
• Both hosts lament mass sizing and praise the transformative power of tailoring.
• Quote:
  • “So many microwaves and yet there's, like, five clothing sizes for every human being…I feel like maybe we could do some more, like, sizing.” (03:28, Mary Beth)
• They riff on the fantasy of the "Apple of tailoring": "Taylor—T-A-Y-R” (03:04).

3. Social Media, Eras, and the “Ellen” Bit (05:04–06:21)

• Recap of birthday posting etiquette and the idea of “eras” that follow podcast taping.
• Hilarious imitation of Ellen DeGeneres post-"cancellation":
  • Quote:
    • “Every morning she wakes up, Portia's sitting there having a matcha...Ellen looks out over all of Santa Barbara and goes, ‘They tried to cancel me.’” (06:11, Benito)

4. Pub Culture, Stay-at-Home Vibes, and Nostalgia for Campaign Slogans (07:14–08:44)

• Comparing British family pubs (dark wood, Sunday roast) to American dive bars and the appeal of staying in.
• Nostalgia for "Save the Boobies" and wild anti-cancer slogans—“Remember lick Cancer?...I know cancer can stick it up my butt. Actually, I’d prefer if it didn’t” (08:08, Benito).
• Commentary on sports teams wearing pink for breast cancer awareness.

5. Friendship Dynamics, “This Girl Woke Up in My House” & Gym Rituals (08:50–10:51)

• Benito relishes the joke of Mary Beth “waking up in his house” as a badge of honor, especially in straight gym spaces.
• The recurring joke—straight guys taking pride in having a girl overnight; “Be proud when a girl woke up in your house. It's so cool” (10:32, Mary Beth).
• Intimate glimpses into their friendship routines, therapy revelations, and mutual admiration.

6. Pop Culture Flashbacks: Films and What “Ages Well” (22:14–27:36)

• Discussion of movies that “age well” vs. not, with nuanced takes:
  • Hitch (“He bombed, but he did it with Chair”—their riff on line delivery)
  • Devil Wears Prada, Legally Blonde, Clueless, Romy & Michelle's High School Reunion (“It is about bimbos. It’s about female friendship. And proud. And proud.” (25:17, Benito))
  • Acknowledgment that some lines or elements don’t age well, but overall messages and female-led films endure.
  • Reflection on industry misogyny (lack of sequels for female buddy movies).

7. The Origin and Usage of Ride-Invented Phrases (29:01–35:04)

• “Shys the McGuagan”: A nonsensical phrase Benito claims to say at the “climax” (29:13), representing unfiltered, fearless goofiness.
• “Kerplunk”: Used to react to bodily noises in a bathroom—“It’s like toxic positivity, brain rot to such a degree” (34:14, Benito).
• Celebration of these phrases as badges of creative weirdness, and encouragement for listeners to embrace internal joke languages.

8. Media, Perception, and Disclaimers (31:11–33:21)

• Dialogue on the need for disclaimers in podcasting/social media:
  • “We hold a mirror up to society. If you don’t like what you see, change it.” (31:17, Mary Beth)
• Riff on Sarah Jessica Parker “fake news” and the impulse for people to assume bad intentions online.

9. Critique of Modern Entrepreneurship & Over-Saturation (44:35–51:16)

• Lampooning the trend of “everyone” starting a business, especially straight white men (“There are so many pants on earth… I don’t need to contribute more pants.” (44:35, Benito)).
• The “white T-shirt” problem: Do we really need more products/brands?
• Contrast between passion-driven businesses (e.g., underwear for trans people, niche dancer garments) and trend-driven, wasteful brands.

10. Personal Style, Life “Eras,” and “Do You See Me As a Clown or a Sexual Being?” (52:17–56:52)

• Existential musings on personal style and identity.
• The profound/funny question of dual perceptions:
  • Quote:
    • “Do you see me as a clown or do you see me as a sexual being?” (52:32, Mary Beth)
  • Relates to both their careers and queer/femme experience.

11. “Welcome to My Island” – The Jazz Standard Version & The Art of the Inaccessible Joke (63:13–64:21)

• Benito sings a “jazz standard” parody of Caroline Polachek’s “Welcome to My Island”—a bit so inside, it’s almost impossible to explain.
  • “It’s so dumb it’s smart. And that’s kind of like what I want.” (64:16, Benito)
• Celebration of inaccessibility and the way niche jokes build loyalty and heritage.

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Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• On Eras:
  • “It has staying power.” (05:23, Mary Beth)
• Ellen Bit:
  • “They tried to cancel me.” (06:11, Benito)
• On Tailoring:
  • “I like Taylor’s. They’re small businesses… I’m waiting for, like, the Apple of Taylor.” (02:52, Benito)
• The Gym Bit:
  • “Like, you can’t imagine. If it was all gay guys, we wouldn’t say a word about it. But since it’s all straight guys, I am literally like… they feel free to say, Benny, you’re caked up.” (09:41–09:59, Benito)
• Heritage Meme Creation:
  • “If you don’t know what to say, don’t be quiet. Just say Shys the McGuagan.” (30:51, Benito)
  • “Welcome to the Kerplunc era.” (35:04, Benito)
• Movie Nostalgia:
  • “Romy and Michelle’s high school reunion ages so, so well. It’s about bimbos. It’s about female friendship. And proud. And proud.” (25:17, Benito)
• Entrepreneur Skepticism:
  • “I just don’t want to be creating waste… There are so many pants on earth. I don’t need to contribute more pants.” (44:35, Benito)
• Personal Identity:
  • “Do you see me as a clown or do you see me as a sexual being?” (52:32, Mary Beth)
  • “As a comedian, I get that…am I making you laugh or am I making you hard?” (52:40–52:44, Benito)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Heritage Collection Concept: 00:39–03:28
• Light Denim & Tailoring: 01:22–04:43
• Eras and “They Tried to Cancel Me” (Ellen Bit): 05:04–06:21
• Save the Boobies & Childhood Nostalgia: 08:00–08:44
• Gym, Straight Guys, and “She Woke Up in My House”: 08:50–10:51
• Movie "Ages Well" Discussion: 22:14–27:36
• Origin of Shys the McGuagan: 29:01–30:54
• Origin of Kerplunk: 33:36–35:04
• "Do you see me as a clown..." existential bit: 52:17–53:39
• Caroline Polachek Jazz Standard Parody: 63:13–64:21

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Summary and Takeaway

This Heritage Collection episode of Ride is a joyful, self-aware homage to friendship, the evolution of cultural memes, and the comfort of shared language. Benito and Mary Beth remind us that great quotes, offhand jokes, and bits—no matter how esoteric—can create a sense of community, catharsis, and timeless comedy. In a world of endless new trends and viral moments, the “Ride” heritage is one worth teaching in schools—if only to encourage more people to find joy in their own absurdity.

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Listeners who haven't caught the episode will find in this summary:

• A rapid-fire tour of "Ride" catchphrases and their origins
• Discussion of pop culture's lasting (and fleeting) impact
• Guidance on when to take life, entrepreneurship, and oneself less seriously
• Warm, irreverent reflections on friendship and why language (even nonsense words) matters

“It’s so dumb it’s smart. And that’s kind of what I want.” (64:16, Benito)

Transcript

[A]

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. Hey, can you come pick me up? Yeah.

[B]

What's wrong?

[A]

Nothing.

[B]

Are you sure?

[A]

Yeah, no, I just need a ride. Ride, Ride.

[B]

I just want to have fun.

[A]

Start your engine.

[B]

I'm Benito Skinner.

[A]

I'm Mary Beth Barone and this is Ride. Hello and welcome to the Ride Heritage Collection.

[B]

The Heritage Collection.

[A]

This is something new we're trying where we are going to release iconic heritage episodes of the podcast in no particular order, and we're going to retitle them so you know exactly which iconic moment to expect. Moments that come to mind. The lesbian cop at Ride Live Massive we're talking about. I'm your sister.

[B]

I was there. It was rare.

[A]

It was rare. NDA and of course, how many chickens there are in the world.

[B]

Ah, I just got a boner. Oh, my God. Wait, Marybeth just cut her finger and is bleeding.

[A]

I guess we have to go enjoy this episode. We hope it's a tasty treat for you. We're gonna have fun going through the archives and picking out these episodes for you.

[B]

Think about what we're doing right now. We do exist in the world. Isn't that trippy to think about? Let's go on the journey for the ride Heritage Collection. How do these things stay in the air? So I got my first pair of light wash denim when I was abroad in London. I still can see the pair now. I saved up. I saved up so much cash to buy them at apc. That was the era of you had to have APC jeans. You know, it was just like it was the thing. Well, I got this pair of light wash denim and I showed them to a friend at the time and you know what he said to me? He's like, I thought they'd look gayer on you, but they don't.

[A]

This is pre.

[B]

This is pre me coming out. And I was like, they just started to see how my butt looked in them. They went with everything. And also they lightened everything up. You know, there wasn't anything that didn't look good with a pair of light denim.

[A]

What was the cut of this pair?

[B]

So this is tighter than I usually go and I really don't think I will ever wear tight pants again. These were more of like a straight leg jean. Like not, you know, it's like slim straight. I would say not too tight. They had a little stretch in them, which I don't love. And I learned a really good lesson during this time. I mean, this was my first pair of light denim. So you're not Going to immediately get all the rules.

[A]

It's not going to be your perfect pair. Is not going to be your first pair.

[B]

Of course not. They were good, though. And I was super into tailoring at that time, which is so funny that you brought it back into my life, because I haven't done it in a while.

[A]

Here's why. I like Taylor's. They're small businesses.

[B]

I agree.

[A]

Locally owned. Usually I'm waiting for, like, the Taylor, like the. The apple of Taylor.

[B]

The sweet green Taylor.

[A]

Come in and just like, shut everyone down.

[B]

Well, it's going to be called Taylor. T A Y R. Yeah.

[A]

Okay. Tar.

[B]

You're going to pronounce it Taylor. Yeah.

[A]

And so I like supporting small businesses. I like shopping local. I like when there's just, like, a guy there and you have to, like, call and see if he's there because it's a laundromat. And you're like, is the tailor in today? And they're like, he'll be in at 11.

[B]

And they start touching your T shirt. And you're like, oh, I guess I can do that. Add it to the list.

[A]

But I love it. And also, I feel like, so sort of like, with microwaves, I'm almost like, we need to meet in the middle because, like, there's so many microwaves and yet there's, like, five clothing sizes for every human being. I feel like maybe we could do some more, like, sizing. It's just crazy to think that, like, the clothing sizes that we offer should fit every single human body in the right way. Yeah.

[B]

And they don't.

[A]

We can spend, you know, 20 bucks to get your jeans, like, a little bit, like, pinched, and then. And then you're good, and they feel.

[B]

And then you feel like a million bucks. You don't have to stress about sizing like I am right now. This set off a chain reaction, as some things do. But what I learned quickly was I was like, okay. Then I went to a vintage store and I got a pair of old light wash Levi's.

[A]

Oh, that'll change your life.

[B]

There's nothing better. I really don't think you can buy light denim that's been made light, like, for when you buy it in the store. I think vintage denim that's been light over time. Fabulous. Come on, say it with us, Marshall. Fabulous.

[A]

Even fabulust. Fabulust.

[B]

Totally fabulust. That's what I said as a. When I was pretending to be straight. I put them on, they went fabulust. Yes. I knew light Denim would be it. Sometimes it comes to you, girl. Ride. So in between someone on your birthday post your birthday was recently and the best ride comment on Ride the Pod. If you're not following, you're only getting half the story. The best comment of all time was when not caring about your birthday means are you gonna post about it? Cause I did post about your birthday at like 7pm I was asleep already

[A]

because I was in London. But I woke up to it and

[B]

it was, yeah, the day after your birthday. It's like the final gift in a lot of ways.

[A]

Right. It's the punctuation mark.

[B]

So someone did that. The other comment was, I can only imagine how many eras there have been since you stopped recording.

[A]

I know.

[B]

And this was one almost like the second after we wrapped. So this is like we.

[A]

But it. It has staying power.

[B]

It does. So we were in Santa Barbara for first time female director. If you haven't seen it, get on your Roku right now. Go buy a Roku tv.

[A]

Take a one way trip to Roku.

[B]

No, honey. Round trip me love. We were there for that. And we drove by this place and someone's like, that's where Ellen lives. And to Mary Beth, I just said, I think Ellen. Every morning she wakes up, Portia's sitting there having a matcha. She definitely gives me matcha energy. And Ellen looks out over all of Santa Barbara and goes, I can't even do it. They tried to cancel me.

[A]

Sorry.

[B]

I'll do one more time.

[A]

Clean. No.

[B]

Should I do a clean?

[A]

We're keeping both.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Ready? They tried to cancel me.

[A]

That's the era.

[B]

So that's the era. It's Ellen. They tried to cancel me.

[A]

Yeah. So sometimes there's eras where, like when I'm in a conversation with not you. And I want to say it, but it doesn't make sense to that person. And then I would have to explain it to them. That's one that's come up a lot for me is like wanting to just say that.

[B]

I'm wondering if this. But I doubted Chiesta McGuagan and what

[A]

my team did with it. You really did.

[B]

Like, they've taken it to totally new places and they spell it right every time. There's no wrong way to spell it

[A]

all fun with language.

[B]

Have fun with language. Picturing you at like a poob in London about to say you with no context going day tragic. Me. It's a bunch of British actors looking at you.

[A]

All the. All the babies at the pub are like, what? You know that they bring kids to pubs there and stuff.

[B]

Well, of course. It's a family place.

[A]

It's totally family place for Sunday roast. I just said it's totally family place vibes.

[B]

We got.

[A]

We're doing good.

[B]

We got this kid pop culture.

[A]

So funny. And I'm glad you brought that up because like, British people love just like go to the pub. And I'm like, okay. But they all look the same. It's like dark wood and I love dark wood. You've seen my apartment.

[B]

I know you love dark.

[A]

You know I love dark wood. I'm like, but it's just like the pub, you know, I. I'm more of like a dive bar type of girl.

[B]

Totally.

[A]

Or better yet, just staying home.

[B]

Coyote ugly. Or. Or can I just say not going anywhere.

[A]

Not going out.

[B]

Ride.

[A]

Should we get into that? Girl woke up in my house.

[B]

Yeah. So there is this era that did occur before season three. You just continue to inspire me, dude. Duty.

[A]

Duty.

[B]

Dudette. Remember Dudette era?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And remember save the boobies?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Just those thick bracelets from Zoomies.

[A]

There was a crazy campaign.

[B]

Never wore those.

[A]

Remember lick Cancer? That was like a thing.

[B]

We were doing like all kinds of crazy to cancer on T shirts. I know cancer can stick it up my butt. It's like. Actually I'd prefer if it didn't.

[A]

Can cancer come over here and kiss me.

[B]

It's like, nope, don't want that. No, absolutely not.

[A]

I'm good.

[B]

My grandma had breast cancer twice. And during football there was that month. I think it's breast cancer awareness month. Is that October?

[A]

It could be.

[B]

It might be. I think it's either October or September. But everyone added pink to their uniforms.

[A]

I bet you love that.

[B]

I did.

[A]

I bet you went a little crazy

[B]

with that Save the Boobies, baby. I loved it. It was, you know, it was great. It was a great cause and I loved the flare of it all.

[A]

And you know, I'm passionate about boobies. And I think we, they. We do need to save them.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

So.

[B]

So this chick woke up in my house. This girl woke up in my house. So Mary Beth and I one morning, she was staying with me, but I actually worked out earlier than you went.

[A]

You were the. The hour session before me, which is.

[B]

Has never happened before.

[A]

You're in there at like 6 really weird.

[B]

Which I don't know how you do that cuz I have to have a coffee and it needs to be a little warmed up. Cuz in my bad low back, which is four firing crazy right now.

[A]

You've Heard of mental illness? Yes.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

So that's how I get there at 6.

[B]

Of course. Yes. That's what Terry said. He's like, I can't believe you're, like, still working out. And I'm just like, oh, this is it.

[A]

Now we have to.

[B]

Yeah, it does make me feel a little better. Good.

[A]

Well, I mean, that's as good as it gets these days.

[B]

I'm just thinking about how lucky I am because this girl woke up in my house. So Mary Beth enters the gym. At that point, I've been with Junior. I'm warmed up.

[A]

Your hips are loose.

[B]

Oh, my God, I'm loose. And, you know, it's. You walk in, it's like, it's me and a bunch of straight guys, and we're all talking about my butt. So it's like, it's just a cool hour for me.

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

Like, you can't imagine. I mean, if it was all gay guys, we wouldn't say a word about it. But since it's all straight guys, I am literally like, they feel free to

[A]

say, benny, you're caked up.

[B]

Caked up. They're like. And I show them the arch and they go, whoa. They go crazy. So Mary Beth walks in, and it's just sometimes I see you and I have to with you in a way that's animal. It's animalistic. And I just saw you and I thought, that chick woke up in my house.

[A]

I think I was wearing your shirt.

[B]

She slept in my fucking house last night, dude. I loved this character of a straight guy that's just really proud to have had you sleep over and spend the money, you know?

[A]

And I think that straight guys could take a note.

[B]

I agree.

[A]

Be proud. Be proud when a girl woke up in your house. It's so cool.

[B]

Doesn't happen every day. And I know it doesn't happen every day for me, so I was proud. But J.R. really, he got a kick out of that one. He still says it to me sometimes.

[A]

I love that era.

[B]

Did she wake up in your house?

[A]

And honestly, most of the time, yeah.

[B]

And, yeah, she did.

[A]

With me on your house.

[B]

Oh, my God. The amount of time you've been in talk therapy, and I've just, like. I've opened the door and I'm about to like, either ultimately fart on you or jump your bones or sing to me. And I say, jump your bones in a very specific way.

[A]

You walk in, you do your thing, then you walk out. And I say to my therapist, so that's Benny. And she goes, oh, he seems really cool.

[B]

Oh, that's so sweet.

[A]

She says that she loves you.

[B]

Well, she should.

[A]

She's heard all about it.

[B]

Hey, she should.

[A]

She should, you know, because you have to bring the good and the bad to therapy. So there's this time that we spend talking about the good, which is Benny. And then we spend time talking about the bad, which I'm not gonna get into right now.

[B]

Yeah, we will later at some point. We will.

[A]

We will at some point. I do wanna speak on something that's happening in my personal life, but I don't think it's gonna be this episode. It's not anything to do with my relationship status, though.

[B]

Okay, cool.

[A]

It's about family.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it's about love.

[B]

I think this is yet another episode. I'd like to bring up that I was asked at the Peabody Awards about your relationship status.

[A]

Yes. On that note. Yes, I did want to say. So I'm going to a lesbian wedding.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

In two weeks.

[B]

And on that note.

[A]

Yeah, I'm going to a lesbian wedding in two weeks.

[B]

These chicks woke up in my house.

[A]

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[B]

Lunch.

[A]

Home Chef has you covered and it's not one size fits all. Home chef has over 30 meal options each week with different choices, tastes and dietary needs and people really love it. Home Chef is rated number one by users of other meal kits for quality, convenience, value, taste and recipe ease. Home Chef takes the stress out of your week with convenient weekly deliveries that keep your fridge stocked and eliminate meal planning and grocery runs, making it easy to eat well, save time and enjoy quick and delicious meals even on your busiest days. For a limited time, Home Chef is offering our listeners 50% off and free shipping for your first box, plus free dessert for life. Oh my God. Go to home chef.comride that's home chef.com ride for 50% off your first box and free dessert for life. Home chef.com ride must be an active subscriber to receive free dessert. Hey y'. All. Coming to you live. I am in between the sheets right now. What sheets you Ask. Well, they're going to be Hill House Home. I got my satin pillowcase and my duvet cover, my fitted sheet, my top sheet, all for my little Toronto apartment. I'm so cozy in there right now. And you know who else loves my Hill House Home sheets? Pinky. The silk pillowcases are actually life changing. And I want to tell you about the viral nap dress. Hill House Home invented the viral nap dress. Celebs like Taylor Swift, Olivia Rodrigo, Anne Hathaway, Kathy Hilton, and Mary Beth Barone have been spotted in Hill House. They make the cutest little dresses and tops for our girls. Perfect for spring and also summer. They are truly heirloom pieces. Talk about traditional family values. And that's in the copy. I didn't just come up with that. And they have little kids stuff for all of our nieces and nephews and if you have children. But the thing we really love from Hill House Home are their robes and pajamas. Their bathrobes and pajamas are so soft. Perfect for a getting ready moment or. Or after you just went to an event with your bestie and you're about to do masks and watch Sex and the city. The PJs are made from the same cotton fabric as their baby onesies so you can sleep like a baby. You can also monogram them. Get 15 off your first order of a hundred dollars or [e-mail] with code RIDE again. Get 15 off your first order of a hundred dollars or [e-mail] with Code Ride again. That's Code Ride for 15 off your first order [e-mail] so I have always loved chairs and I feel like now that I have my own space, I can really fill it with different places to sit. So in my apartment right now, I have that desk chair that's like the posture one. So you like hook in your room. You hook your legs, like underneath for posture.

[B]

When I'm in that, for some reason, it's just like, it's kinky to me. Like, I'm arching my back and I'm like, I'm busting down on it kind of.

[A]

Well, you can make any chair sexual.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

I'm your wife and I'm sexual and I love you.

[A]

I have the desk chair. I'm just going to go like clockwise. I have this ottoman I got at a vintage store in Brooklyn. Oh my God. In Greenpoint. And then obviously my bed functions as seating in some ways because it is a studio apartment. Then I have a Couch. That was my. So couches. I don't know if you've looked for a couch recently. Couches, we need to pull back.

[B]

Well, they're all on the harbor. You can't get them. They take eight months. The supply chain. I swear to God if you order a couch, it's like, yeah, it's gonna be there in 2030.

[A]

Yeah, I couldn't deal with that. I reupholstered one from my parents house and I felt good because that's like better for the planet because it's not raw materials.

[B]

Yeah, I love like oh, like just craftsmen. Less get ready with me. More craftsman. More cobblers.

[A]

More people with skills.

[B]

Come on. Yeah, I can't do this anymore.

[A]

I know.

[B]

I watched a straight guy recently do one and it was like he put on chinos and a white shirt and he did that thing where you put the chinos over your butt and you show that. And I'm just like, what?

[A]

Well, men's fashion influencers don't wear my buck Mason tee. Oh that right now.

[B]

I had to do that. I wouldn't play. Not that one.

[A]

Babe, that's the buck Mason.

[B]

Babe, that's the buck Mason.

[A]

That's the Buck Mason.

[B]

Wait. To get your boyfriend's attention, all you have to say is, hey, babe, can I just wear this buck Mason tee to work? I just need something like flowy to throw on.

[A]

Yeah, and watch what happens.

[B]

Not that one, babe.

[A]

The. The. Tell your boyfriend you're going to wear his buck Mason tee. Challenge.

[B]

Come on.

[A]

I do want to shout out, Jake Wolf is a really fabulous men's fashion influencer. And me and Edward were watching the videos. Yeah, we're watching. I love the proportions.

[B]

Hey, you've got our attention.

[A]

You've got our attention, kid.

[B]

Sometimes I don't follow fashion influencers because I'm like oh, like all day you get to put together outfits. Here I am at my computer, a total geek rabbit.

[A]

Yeah, the next chair. Also you should know that my couch is green velvet. It's a perfect couch.

[B]

They know.

[A]

The next chair I have is our cuck chair which is from article obviously. Yeah, I got two of them. One is in my place and one is at my parents house because I don't have a big enough apartment yet for that many chairs. Although I do have more chairs.

[B]

I think this year might be the year, babe.

[A]

I have three more chairs actually. So I have a chair. Mother of junk. And then I have two other ones that I got reupholstered from my parents house. So I'm really All about repurposing chairs. Because, like, chairs never die. Like, we should be keeping them alive. We should be passing them on from generation to generation.

[B]

Chair. It's so confusing sometimes. Be a chair. Chair, Chair, Chair, Chair.

[A]

Are you gonna sit on it?

[B]

I've had enough. This is my chair. That I'll die living just as free as my chair.

[A]

What's great about chairs is you can sit on them or you can put stuff on them. Think about that.

[B]

Oh, my God. I just thought of this gorgeous chair that's in our living room. Oh.

[A]

Oh, I love that chair.

[B]

That brown leather chair.

[A]

Dinner with.

[B]

And you did it at my birthday.

[A]

And you did it at my birthday.

[B]

Oh, my God. Imagine the levels of understanding this joke. We will end this podcast with two listeners, and it'll be us.

[A]

No, they're gonna do the homework. Sorry. If you need me to break that down for you. So we were just riffing on putting chair in places where it doesn't belong. The word chair.

[B]

I've never laughed as hard as a show. I'm like, I'm so. I'm fully sobbing.

[A]

So we were riffing on can you

[B]

do it one more time?

[A]

And he did it with Chair.

[B]

Her saying this as she's eating at Rice to riches.

[A]

Oh. Oh.

[B]

Rice to Riches was literally bullying me yesterday. I was reading a few of the signs, and it was like, why don't you kill yourself?

[A]

It was Jimmy John's coded, so.

[B]

Jimmy John's coded.

[A]

So just to break that joke down for you, we were just riffing on putting Chair in songs and where it's not Chair. Just to go back. To pull back the curtain.

[B]

No, of course.

[A]

And then there's this line read, which we rode for. We wrote for. Line reads. There's a line read from Hitch where Eva Mendez's character is talking about this date that went horribly, horribly well.

[B]

The butcher.

[A]

And he did it with flair.

[B]

Yeah, he bombed, but he did it with flair.

[A]

So then we just said he did it with Chair and, like a little joke.

[B]

Yeah. It's like, it's our thing. Don't worry about it. Ride.

[A]

We're living in a time where we have so much media from past generations and we can reflect on things. We have a lot more awareness now. We have a lot more tact on this note.

[B]

Sometimes the speed at which we have grown. I think we should take a moment and feel good about that. I think take.01 seconds and think about that. But it's kind of alarming. You'll watch something from, like, 2012 and be like, holy shit.

[A]

Yeah. And I could have just as easily written for things that don't age well, because it's good to know where you've come from. And that, I think, is a line from Hitch. Like, how do you know where you're going if you don't know where you've been?

[B]

Please say Hitch age.

[A]

Well, Hitch aged. I say it like a fine wine. Oh, girl, now I would. Here's the other thing.

[B]

Like a Zinfandel.

[A]

Like a seven Deadly. Here's the other thing. If things aren't egregious in their not aging well, let's just say that it aged well. So Hitch, for example, I think some people are like, oh, it's creepy. He helped sky manipulate women into falling in love with them. But actually, if you watch to the end, it turns out that nothing he did, like, the men had it there all along.

[B]

Well, that's the best.

[A]

The message.

[B]

That's the best part of the script. Everything he told him to do. So actually, he's not that good at his job.

[A]

Right. He just creates opportunities, I think. But, like, people have to be won

[B]

over by people to see diamonds in the rough.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

And also for people. We talked about this a little bit of, like, maybe you don't need to have everything in common with someone. Maybe they're not exactly what you thought would be right for you.

[A]

Maybe there's more than meets. Yeah, it's the iceberg.

[B]

Then in that moment, you fall.

[A]

You fall.

[B]

You fall into what I want it to be when I grow up.

[A]

I said in love.

[B]

Continue.

[A]

Kitchen is a great example of a movie that aged well. I've been revisiting the classics lately. It's not even to see if they age well. I'm just like, I want to watch comfort movies. So Devil Wears Prada, Legally Blonde, Miss Congeniality, Fever Pitch. As I've said, there's so many movies that just. They stand the test of time.

[B]

Made in Manhattan. The only thing that didn't age well in that is her wearing a Dolce and Gabbana coat.

[A]

That didn't age well. Also, it's so funny in Made in Manhattan that he's a Republican, but early 2000s Republicans were so different.

[B]

Oh, totally.

[A]

Like, they were not what we. What we now know as Republican. And I have chills. Suddenly, it just got cold in here.

[B]

Yeah, but they're coming for us in Miami.

[A]

I think also, if there's like, one aspect of a movie or, like, one line that doesn't age well, to me, that still ages well. Austin Powers, for example, the first one. I rewatched it and I was trepidatious to. To say the least. I was a little nervous. There's one part that is bad. There's one part. I won't say what it is, but in the movie Austin Powers, if you recall when Ms. Kensington is drunk and she wants to sleep with Austin, he says, no, no, you're drunk. Like, there are those little moments that you didn't even acknowledge back then because you didn't know that they could have done it the opposite.

[B]

Change the brains of every young man watching.

[A]

Clueless also age as well. Romy Michelle's High school reunion ages perfectly.

[B]

Yeah, by the way.

[A]

Yeah, ages perfectly. Romy Michelle's high school reunion ages so. So well. It is about bimbos. It's about female friendship.

[B]

Bimbo writes mutant.

[A]

And proud and proud. Mira Sorvino basically was blacklisted in Hollywood because she wouldn't sleep with Harvey Weinstein. She had been nominated for an Academy Award the year before. Romy Michelle's High School reunion also in the table read. And I just got chills. She just did the funny voice. I can't remember where I read this, but she just decided to, like, talk like this. Like, roomy.

[B]

Take two Diet Cokes, please.

[A]

Do you have, like a Businesswoman special?

[B]

God, Sorry. It's so.

[A]

Yeah, it's fabulous. Obviously, when I look at a movie that has Miramax in the beginning as one of the production companies, I'm thinking, okay, inherently it's hard for the stage. Well, because Harvey Weinstein was involved. But, like, sometimes you do have to separate that you just can enjoy the film and appreciate all the probably women, queer people, people of color that went into making the movie and made it. What is so amazing about it? Because it's hard sometimes when you see something. It's a little tainted when I see Miramax. But that doesn't mean it didn't age well.

[B]

I think Lisa Kudrow, she was just in it because they had done like a play of. Was like a sketch thing. I actually will post the real fact of this when this episode comes out. But I believe. Yeah, and this was pre Friends. She had just done the play. Lisa Kudrow was just always in the show. And then they. Yeah.

[A]

So Good. And on IMDb trivia, Alan Cummings says that if it was about two guys, there would have been like six sequels by now. But because Hollywood's so misogynistic. Also, Alan Cumming was in Spice World. He was in Josie and the Pussycats. And he was In Romeo and Michelle's High School Reunion, he has been in, like, every great movie that, like, raised me. I. I showed Edward, Josie and the Pussycats as well, which definitely aged well.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it's just. I don't know, cinema then. You don't see that anymore.

[B]

Girl power.

[A]

Girl power. And I do think now, like, characters are written to, like, correct for a lot of what we've gotten wrong in the past in the way that if a character says something that's true to their character, but it would be, like, not woke or whatever, they almost, like, correct themselves in the moment as the character. And obviously, I don't think we should be, like, writing characters that are bigots. But I do think sometimes, for the sake of the joke, if someone says something off color, it's okay.

[B]

The growth of the character. And, yeah, I get that Charlie's Angels ages really well, except for a few costumes. I won't lie about that. But everything else is pretty fabulous. I watched it recently, and who. Holy Shysta McGuagan.

[A]

It's also. Whoa.

[B]

I just launched Shysta McGuagan.

[A]

Whoa.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

You want to get into that a little bit?

[B]

I just. I never thought I would say this on the pod. I really actually can't believe I just did that.

[A]

That was. And that was, like. That just came out.

[B]

This was season two. I came up with something a few years back. Terry, he said, promise she'll never give back this. It's the one thing.

[A]

Should we not then?

[B]

I think we have to.

[A]

I don't think it's time. Harry is like, I have nothing left just for me. I do feel bad, but that monetize the friendship.

[B]

There will be one thing. I know that there will be something new. Do you know what I mean? My muse is present. She's effervescent. I. One day I was asked, like, any tips for guys? Like, it was. I think it was. I don't know if it was ever.

[A]

GQ was interviewing you.

[B]

GQ is interviewing.

[A]

Do you have any tips for guys like, like. And how to, like, bag, like chicks?

[B]

Do you have any tips? It was Men's Health mag, and they asked if I had any tips for guys.

[A]

Your workout routine, what supplements you take.

[B]

I love the thought of going to an airport and buying Men's Health and looking at something with Glen Powell naked in it as just a do. Watching, like, looking at six packages.

[A]

Not gay, because I'm. I'm jotting down the workout routine.

[B]

Literally the amount of magazines I bought at airports that were just, like, gay porn. For me, like GQ and Men's health, it was fabulous, but it was like, you know, shrouded in and mystery.

[A]

It was a vitamin supplement.

[B]

Sorry, I'm. I'm.

[A]

It's the vitamin shop.

[B]

We love Shiest McGuagan. I don't know exactly where it came from, but I just remember giving advice to my girls. It's like when you're hooking up with a guy right before he's about to blow his.

[A]

Right before the big show.

[B]

Right before the big show, you look him in the eye and you say, I can't even do it.

[A]

This is so deranged.

[B]

This is so deranged. You go, Shys the McGuagan. Abraham, what do you think?

[A]

Imagine doing that.

[B]

I don't know if I'd be turned on by the balls you have or at the same time, I'd just be. Look at you like, okay, yeah, that's gone.

[A]

No, it's. It's Fearless Taylor's version. It's so fearless.

[B]

It really is fearless.

[A]

Show him who you are.

[B]

No, It's a shyster McGwagging. And you look at him and you kind of show all your teeth. It's the ultimate test if he still wants to do the deed. And also, this is only if he's made you come. Are you allowed to say this?

[A]

This will happen two times in the history of mankind.

[B]

Yeah, you only do it twice.

[A]

You do it twice.

[B]

But in those moments, will he stay? I don't know if we can keep this in the pod. Are the girls ready for Shiesta McGuagan?

[A]

There's only one way to find out. We didn't think they were ready for firework. I certainly didn't. And that caught on like wild firewug.

[B]

So, yeah, I guess it's time for shies the McGuagan.

[A]

I guess it's time.

[B]

It's the same kind of thing where I just liked the way it sounded in my like. Say it right now. Look at your guy. Shies the McGwaggin. I don't know. I really have no idea what it means, but.

[A]

Or do you?

[B]

It's just something I like. Said one day.

[A]

I think it's cool and fun and goofy. So in the spirit of ride, giving girls permission to be goofy, I think they should try this. Or just, like, joke with your friends about it. That's also fine. Just say, look yourself in the mirror and say, shiest the McGuagan.

[B]

If you don't know what to say, don't be quiet. Just say, shiest the McGuagan.

[A]

If you have nothing nice to say,

[B]

say shies the McGuagan dude. Come on. Come on, ride.

[A]

And then before we talk about Kerplunk, I also did want to say, this

[B]

chick woke up in my house.

[A]

I just wanted to say that on the issue of disclaimers, because it was mentioned on the Reddit. Here's what I'll say about disclaimers.

[B]

Someone did send me that.

[A]

We hold a mirror up to society. If you don't like what you see, change it. We're reflecting it back at you. And if you want to know why, we put disclaimers on every. If you want to know. And we're not cutting that. I just fumbled and I'm human. If you want unusual. And I'll, I'll talk about the origin of unusual later. But if you want to know why we do disclaimers on everything, look at the last few posts on the Reddit. One was about the length of the episodes and one was about an ad free version. People are attacking each other in the comments where it's just like, can you just assume that these questions are coming from a good place and everybody wants us to succeed and thrive? And if you can't do that, and if you look at these comments, you will see why we put a disclaimer because the last thing we want to do is like, alienate our audience.

[B]

I will say I'm seeing this in the news right now of Sarah Jessica Parker. Have you seen this? Where there's kind of like this fake news going around of fake news. This is Benny Johnson.

[A]

Fake news, fake news. Hit the fake news button.

[B]

Oh, God, I love that button. Where they're trying to like, make it into Sarah Jessica Parker, like, feverishly trying to pitch and just like that to all these other networks because she hates HBO so much. And I'm just like, I don't know how to tell you this. There is no fucking way that's true. Like, I'm just like, this is insane. And I just think at a certain point it's like, I think we do this because I think there is a natural tendency. And I do think that because of the world we live in, it's like everyone must have the worst intentions, be an absolute psychopath and a nightmare and you know, and be uneducated and ignorant and hateful. And it's like, I get it. But that's why we do them. Because honestly, not everyone listening to the podcast has heard everything else. And they don't come to things with history or context. It would happen with My videos all the time.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's literally why I think it's really hard for me to ever think about getting excited about making sketches anymore. Because, yeah, there was a time where people thought I worked at the White House. So it's just at a certain point, it's like, should I start everything by

[A]

being like, this is a joke?

[B]

And that's why overcompensating felt so good. I just think that there are some media that people are coming to with either history or a knowledge of, like, this is creation.

[A]

When I heard it, just like that was ending, the first thing I thought was, come on, Kupla.

[B]

Too long. You're black. So I was in a bathroom with a friend, and it was divine.

[A]

It was a male friend. I just wanted.

[B]

It was a male friend. It was not Mary Beth. She would never do something like this. But I was in a bathroom with a friend, and I was looking in the mirror, and they were in a stall and they shit. And there was a sound, and I couldn't help it. I just, like, had this moment, and I just said, I'm gonna wet my pants. Come on, kerplunk. Come on, kerplunk. It's. It's like we talked about it last night. It's like toxic positivity, brain rot to such a degree.

[A]

No, it's honestly really scary.

[B]

Come on, Kerplunk. Yes, Kerplunk. I. I couldn't. We laughed so hard. I heard him laughing from this doll. I'll never tell you who this is. He would kill me. We were laug hard. He was just like, if someone did that to me who wasn't you, I would never speak to them again. But it was like, they just. Come on, kerbl.

[A]

It's so. I can't. The word. I can't even say what it is. You know what I mean? There's no word in English.

[B]

When I texted him later, all caps in the invisible thing, and it said, come on, Kerplung. K E R P L E U N K. Obviously, I just want to make sure you have it just in case when you send it to me, but welcome to the kerplunc era. Morning. Morning.

[A]

So this one's gonna be hard.

[B]

I know it's not for everybody to

[A]

gas leak era in a huge way. The gas leak era is more like a tree. I would say Brony Hugh is gonna

[B]

make the tree of the gas leak.

[A]

Branches are.

[B]

Well, it's a plume. It's a smoke plume of gas.

[A]

Yeah, it's from the. It's a mushroom cloud.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it's infecting all of us in really cool and different ways. Come along, Kerpla. I mean, it is objectively funny. I can't say that it's not. Thank you.

[B]

So I will say I can't say

[A]

that it's not very bad.

[B]

To dinner last night. We had a little date night. We got sexy for each other. I'm not kidding. And I kept saying it throughout the night. And there were a few times in the conversation where you ignored it.

[A]

Well, because, you know, come on, Kerplunk. There were just times where we were talking about something serious and then you would say, come on, Kerplunk.

[B]

Yes, Kerplunk. And say that. Kerplunk. Yeah.

[A]

I think we can all agree that sometimes makeup feels like chasing perfection, right, Pinky, come here.

[B]

Come on.

[A]

Come here, Pinky, come. And a lot of the brands out there cover up too much of my natural look. So I realized I wanted my skin to look healthy and fresh, not caked or covered up. I don't want to look like a completely different person or erase my face. I'm not trying to look flawless. I just want to feel good in my own skin. More healthy, more radiant. That's why I started using Jones Road Beauty Miracle Balm. It enhances my skin instead of masking it with layers of makeup, giving me the effortless natural look that I was looking for. I love how miracle balm is replacing several steps in my routine. Highlighter, bronze, blush, and lip tint. It's the ultimate no fuss multitasker. You don't need any brushes. It's not a complicated routine. Just use your fingers and go. I mean, you know, I'm a girl on the go, so that's why I use the miracle balm. If I have a busy morning dropping off the kids, if I'm traveling, or if I'm fresh off a workout class and I need to head to an important lunch with my boyfriend. Brand new drama. Oh, sorry, Pinky. Or taking Pinky for a walk. Every formula is packed with skin loving ingredients. It nourishes your skin instead of clogging or caking. Once I started simplifying my routine with miracle bombs, I realized that some days I want a bit little, little more coverage, just without going back to a full, complicated makeup routine. New product alert. The foundation stick Jones Road just launched this. It's a stick that even foundation skeptics will love. It's skincare forward period. It's skincare forward. And dermatologist tested. If you Want makeup that brings out your natural glow instead of hiding at Jones Road is the way to go. For a limited time, our listeners are getting a free gift on their first purchase when they use code Ride at checkout. Just head to Jones roadbeauty.com and use Ride at checkout. After you purchase, they'll ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them that we sent you. Probiotics are only able to stay in the gut for a few days or weeks at a time. So you need to. You need consistent use to help support the benefits. Well, I got a brand for you, Ritual. Don't let your gut keep you from going. With Ritual Symbiotic plus, you'll need one capsule muscle a day for a simple streamlined gut support. Symbiotic plus is a complete biotic formula, a 3 in 1 clinically studied pre pro and postbiotics in clinically studied doses. This is it's 360 clinically studied to support a balanced gut microbiome. Ritual Symbiotic plus is formulated with 11B CFUs of the world's most researched probiotics strains backed by over 100 plus publications of human clinical trials. My God, these are just studied to hell. One daily mint scented capsule for bloat gut and regularity Support vegan friendly and formulated without GMOs, major allergens, animal products, shady fillers and artificial colors. So support a balanced gut microbiome with Ritual Symbiotic Plus. Save 25% off your first month [e-mail] ride that's ritual.com ride for 25 off your first month. Thank you, Ritual. We're all excited to start taking probiotics that last in the gut for a few days or weeks at a time. But you have to be consistent.

[B]

Don't forget, there's a new era, everybody. I'm glad it's on camera. I was doing our friend Emily's makeup recently and I said, I want to show you something unbelievables. So it's the unbelievables era, which I think if I'm thinking of this character, you're in a European city, you're eating with a friend and this guy walks up with a camera like a cannon. Make every shot a power shot sounding unbelievables. So he walks up and he's like a scam artist ultimately. And so he says, I want to show you something unbelievable. And he's wearing all Armani Exchange.

[A]

Totally.

[B]

His name's Sebastian.

[A]

Are the jeans ripped? That's my question.

[B]

Of course. Shredded and skin tight. So tight that the skin, like, pours out of it.

[A]

They look painted on like Sports Illustrated,

[B]

but when the holes, it's like the skin can breathe because the pants are so tight.

[A]

Yeah, I know the sky. I just want to say I know the sky also. It's sort of giving. So in Sisterhood having pants, which we've talked about at length, Costas, like, clearly wasn't really Greek, and so his accent was like, oh, fuck. What's the. What's the iconic line he says? Or is it something else? And he could totally come up to Alexis Fidel's character and say, I want to show you something unbelievable. Unbelievables.

[B]

I want to show you something unbelievables. Can you come back to my place or say something unbelievable? They're like, what?

[A]

It's a view of the city you can't get anywhere else, literally.

[B]

We kept thinking all weekend, like, what he's showing them. Death was one. Yeah.

[A]

No, Death is the only option.

[B]

Sorry. Or a mirror that he show. He puts them in front of the mirror and shows them and he's.

[A]

He. He does their hair and he says, look at you. Look at yourself.

[B]

He does her hair and he does that thing where you kind of. You put the hair together just to make it kind of tease out. He goes like this.

[A]

And then that's it.

[B]

You know? My next era is getting into hair. Yeah. New era alert. Let us know what you think.

[A]

I love it because I. I mean, I have a lot of experience in the space.

[B]

I want to dress up like him and go to Italy. I want to be in Florence.

[A]

You have to slick your hair back, though. It has to look like it's one piece of hair.

[B]

Of course. Of course. And the T shirt will just say AX Armani, and it has to have

[A]

a red stripe across it and look a little bit frayed. You know what I mean? Of course the stripe itself is frayed, not the T shirt. You know what I'm talking about?

[B]

This drag.

[A]

I want to show you something.

[B]

I want to shave. And Thursday. Boot company Boot.

[A]

Totally.

[B]

How Black leather. Beloved.

[A]

Yep. But a Chelsea boot and a little pointed.

[B]

That's a zipper. That has a zipper up it.

[A]

Ultimately, he is like a murderer, but

[B]

I think my first serial killer character.

[A]

Can I say something? I'm always going to ask first.

[B]

Of course.

[A]

Of course. Basically, joking about death, I think, is actually a good thing because our society is so preoccupied with death and violence, and if we weren't, then death would actually seem more like the completion of life as opposed to something that we should fear. That's something I read in Bell Hooks, so one read that book. Love multiplies love and hate multiplies hate. I've been thinking a lot about artificial intelligence because it's a huge thought.

[B]

Well, you have a smokey eye on.

[A]

Well, everyone's saying it's a huge threat, right? Like, I don't know the specifics. I don't know the details. I know it's threatening jobs, it's threatening lives potentially. I mean, I'm reading it's going to lead to the collapse of society. So I just wanted to say that in doing some reflecting on artificial intelligence, AI, if you will. I just think it's like, AI could never do Ride. Like, I would love to plug in every episode of Ride and see if AI could write an episode. I genuinely think that's how we beat it, is we give it all the episodes of Ride. Literally. Artificial intelligence, they have robots that are threatening humanity.

[B]

It's like a something unbelievable. It gets to the Love Corn episode and it just.

[A]

And then they all explode. It's like the fembot. That's when Austin Powers starts, like, being crazy. That's how we beat AI Is we say, all right, okay, we've cracked the code. Hands up.

[B]

You're figure this one out.

[A]

Good luck. So we have job security, and we're gonna save the planet. And that's kind of what Ride is about.

[B]

I agree. That should be our movie pitch.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

We've got it. We got it.

[A]

That's where we walk into the pitch. I want to show you something. Something unbelievable.

[B]

Ride.

[A]

Something else I'd like to touch upon. There's nothing harder than being a woman dating a straight man who is looking to buy a leather jacket.

[B]

Amplify. I have nothing.

[A]

It's back to back for me to. I've dated two straight guys in a row who were looking to buy a leather jacket. When I tell you, I'm so sorry.

[B]

The amount that they try on, the amount that they want it worn in, but maybe they want new. But actually the price is so much. Jesus.

[A]

The amount of links, and then it's about the shape and it's about the color.

[B]

And is it brown or is it black?

[A]

I've been through too much. The next person I date, the next guy I date, he will have already acquired. I can't be with someone that's, like, in the process of looking for that. I'm like, you have to have found it.

[B]

You meet a guy you like, it's you busting down his door. Day one, where's the closet? Show it to me. Put on the jacket.

[A]

Show me the leather jacket.

[B]

I have one. I'm good.

[A]

You have a few.

[B]

Well, come on, ride. There comes a time in every white man's life where he must look in the mirror at himself and think, I have this idea, but I'm not going to get a patent on it. I really think more white men should think about it and just say, maybe it's not for me. I recently had the idea of, like, I loved these pants, and I couldn't find them anywhere. And I was like, should I make them? And then I looked in the mirror and I thought, fuck, no. There are so many pants on earth. I don't need to contribute more pants.

[A]

You know what? I'm gonna ask you to talk about what?

[B]

I literally can't. I literally can't. I. Oh, my God. Fuck. That's the problem with this podcast. We have to go out in the world and, like, people know. Yeah. I wish I could tell my kids everything. If you catch us in an airport.

[A]

Oh, we'll say things I revealed on stage at Stand Up.

[B]

It's incredible.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

A flight attendant on Delta recently was, like, asked me a bunch of questions. I just went off.

[A]

I'll tell you anything.

[B]

I said to taint. Start from the top. What do you want?

[A]

Person.

[B]

What do you want to know?

[A]

Person to person. Which is also the series finale. The name of the series finale of Mad Men. Person to person. Person to person. I'll reveal all.

[B]

Yeah. I was, like, giving, like, full script secrets from overcompensating season two to people. I'm like, well, if it leaks, I don't know where to find you.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, and she'll be in the skies.

[B]

Well, of course, spreading the good news. But I just think maybe there are too many businesses that exist. And I'm not talking about local artisans, mom and pop shops. I love all of those. I'm talking more just, like, specifically this type of, like, tech bro y, like, startupy kind of thing that just, like, we didn't need. You know what I mean?

[A]

I overheard someone say that was like, well, I don't think we should put the stock price in the deck. What do you think? I think we should just, like, we should. And I was just like, I'm hearing this on the phone. It's like, I'm on my way. Where's I even going this morning? I literally don't remember where I went this morning. I went to get a haircut and I was just hearing him talking, and I was like, I hope your business is like helping reduce carbon emissions or something. But it's probably not.

[B]

No, it's not.

[A]

You know, my.

[B]

I'm sure it's making more.

[A]

I know we have way too many businesses because as I've stated before, on the subway, they advertise B2B business to business. Like, they're advertising, like, HR platforms on the subway. It's like, there should not be enough people that would need that on the subway. You should not feel like that's useful marketing that should be in, like, a newsletter for, like, virgins.

[B]

But there are. For virgins. Exactly. Here's the thing. I just think, like, I ride for this because it is a choice, and we all have to realize that. And I'm not saying, like, everybody's business is bad. Like, I. A lot of them, I'm like, hell, yeah. That's. Some are totally necessary, Some are totally necessary, and some are totally fabulous. I just think. Think about if it really is needed,

[A]

if we need it, or if your expertise could be used on something that we already have that could improve, like

[B]

Benny Drama's pleated pant. I don't know if we need that business, but maybe some of you. I mean, I'm looking at Paul right now, and he's kind it. I'd pre order.

[A]

Well, we're not. We're not saying either that we would never do a collab in the future, but I think starting a business, my thing, when I get into thinking about it, even with Merch, which I'm launching tour merch, and I'm like, I just don't want to be creating waste.

[B]

And I think, like, you're so Cruella. When merch samples come in, you're like, hack it in the middle. Cut off the sleeve, the next two wide. Anita, those puppers. That bullshit nanny, she gave those puppies away.

[A]

She was. She was a house manager. But I just think as your footprint grows, you know, as an entity, I think you will be probably approached to, like, launch a skincare. Launch makeup or launch this stuff.

[B]

I'm like, I would do skincare with someone.

[A]

I want to stay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I like it.

[B]

I would amplify also people. It's like, I'm. I'm a writer, actor, comedian, mostly hyphenate. Like, that's why I do. Like, that's me. Like, that's what I do. That's my lane. So if it was something skincare, I would do, like, a collab with some of. I would never start my. I don't have. I'm like, no, no, no, leave it to the professionals, it's like makeup brands. I'm like, leave it to the makeup artists.

[A]

So much of that stuff is like white label. And so they're just. It's the same stuff you could buy from other brands. It just has their name on it.

[B]

Bullshit.

[A]

Well, I wanted to find this quote about. And I've already talked about Miley Cyrus talking about why she didn't start a business. And she's just like, it's just I'm not passionate about these things. Like, I just find it hard to believe that everyone that's launched a makeup brand, it's because they're like super passionate about like filling a space in the market that's not currently being served. Because yeah, what you're doing is like, maybe you're creating jobs, but like you're also creating so much waste.

[B]

I know. And it's like, yeah, I think that's my one. That's one tricky part of this caveat. It's like, obviously I want, I want jobs. I want, you know, I want people to be able to afford their lives and, and their wants and needs. But yeah, it's just, I guess it's specifically straight white men coming up with some. I don't need your. I don't need your.

[A]

Hey, we have enough of it. We've gotten.

[B]

The world was literally built and made for you. I know you can find a job

[A]

elsewhere, please, or live off your parents

[B]

money, but I guess if it does consume their day so that they don't hit you, I'm like, maybe I want them to work on the deck. It's just hard. I guess you're finding me. I'm. I'm trying to find the implicit here,

[A]

like a give and take.

[B]

But I just, I ride that. I can look in the mirror and know that like, it's just not for me. I'm not starting a business.

[A]

You are not going to be putting together financial assessments of anything.

[B]

Nah.

[A]

Or approving them.

[B]

No. It's not looking good. No.

[A]

I think it's big of you. It's hubris.

[B]

You think so?

[A]

I think it's hubris.

[B]

It's crazy to have last name Skinner and not do anything in the skincare industry.

[A]

But I think like you found what you want to do and you're doing it.

[B]

Yeah. Production companies don't count. I already asked.

[A]

No, of course, of course. Production companies, that's like different. I mean, we're being creative and like we're telling. We're storytellers.

[B]

Yeah, exactly. And that's my job. I'm Like, I. It's like, leave it to the pros, my good sis, and let them shine. That too.

[A]

I find it odd too, when I'm thinking, like, some of these people that are starting companies, I'm like, but do you use the product?

[B]

Well, I'm just like, if you're truly passionate about it, you can feel that. But like, some people, I'm just like, oh, you just came. Like you just thought of a product and then found like a random manufacturer. And now it's like, yeah, there was this one dancer who dances for the Moulin Rouge who I'm obsessed with on TikTok, and she has this company that's like, it's essentially like a. Some kind of like cool down or like warm up garment. It's kind of like big overalls that you would, like, wear. And so I'm like, that is like, specific. There's something about that that feels. Oh, no. When they come from women, I love it.

[A]

You know what is a need, I think that I have heard is not being filled is underwear for trans people.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Like specific to trans people's needs. And so I would say if there's someone that is really passionate about that, that wants to actually solve a problem that we have currently.

[B]

Yeah. In the letter rip in the market.

[A]

Yeah, absolutely.

[B]

Yeah, that's. Hey, please.

[A]

Hey. The need is there. The market's there. Let's make it happen.

[B]

Another fucking bullshit company where it's like a. A guy. The white T shirt needed a little refresh. No, it fucking did it.

[A]

Hey, you found your sparkle. You found your sparkle again.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah, I just saw it.

[B]

That's so crazy. Yeah, I just got chills.

[A]

I just watched it.

[B]

But you know what I mean, the white T shirt never really sat well with me. I'm like, oh, yeah, it didn't ride. Do you see me as a clown or do you see me as a sexual being? So that was in the Notes app.

[A]

I put that in there.

[B]

You put that in there? How powerful.

[A]

I guess it's just like sometimes you have to ask if someone is speaking to you and you're thinking like, well, do you see me as a clown or do you see me as a sexual being?

[B]

That's so powerful.

[A]

And I might just start asking people because I'm both.

[B]

Yeah, I know. And it can be really confusing as a comedian. I get that.

[A]

It's harder.

[B]

Am I making you laugh or am I making you laugh?

[A]

I'm making you hard.

[B]

Yeah. Are you hard? And yes.

[A]

We're back. I love it here.

[B]

I love it here, that we're back in the library at the British Library.

[A]

The Great British Library. I feel bad because I feel like my phone is putting, like, a barrier between me and listeners. Like, when I have it out, like, it feels like I'm texting. But they keep saying, but I'm not. I'm really not. I'm actually just keeping us on track, keeping us honest.

[B]

I'm cold, so. You must be.

[A]

I'm freezing.

[B]

We're losing you.

[A]

Yeah. No, my. I thought that wasn't Christmas.

[B]

This is very Narnia in here.

[A]

I will say I wanted to call out a moment earlier today, which was when we were at the acne store in London and Running up that Hill was playing. And I just thought, could life get any better than this?

[B]

No. Maybe a little.

[A]

Then I asked the guy who works at acne, do you see me as a clown or do you see me as a sexual being?

[B]

And he went. Sexual?

[A]

He said sexual. Well, immediately when we got there, he was like, so this used to be an art gallery. It's three floors. Like, can I show you the store? And all I could think was, do

[B]

you want the house tour? I could take you to the first, second, third floor. He so wanted to show us something.

[A]

He wanted to give us some Unbelievable. And there was a big pink couch in there.

[B]

Well, you said to me, you go, do you want the house tour? Us at the acne store? And I was like, my girl has been.

[A]

And then I said to the house is on Pretty Girl Avenue.

[B]

I love that whole song. Can I just say.

[A]

Yeah, it's very.

[B]

I would have loved to do a Deliverance Richards video to that. I'm just too tired.

[A]

There's. You. So can.

[B]

I'm just too tired. I can't stress enough.

[A]

When you're in the Deliverance Richards costume, do you see me as a clown? Sexual being?

[B]

I will say that really permeated my youth.

[A]

The question.

[B]

The question. Because I would just be like, well, you want to be around me all the time, right?

[A]

But it's.

[B]

But then I'm like, oh, no. You just want my, like, charisma. You don't even.

[A]

Charisma, Uniqueness, nerve and talent.

[B]

You don't want to get in this bed.

[A]

No. Well. But I. I feel like they probably did.

[B]

Are you gonna stay the night? Doesn't mean we're bound for life Are you gonna stay the night?

[A]

So that's in my. Definitely. List of top songs ever made. Best songs ever made.

[B]

Agreed. It's a top. Yeah. I've been Trying to find, like, the Ultimate 5, and it's nearly impossible. But no matter what, you're going to find Maren Morris.

[A]

Oh, and Dion by the Japanese house. Baby, why don't you just meet me

[B]

in the middle Ride?

[A]

I guess we could talk about this dress. That is not my usual silhouette. It's a little baggy.

[B]

I wanted to do that.

[A]

So I just want to address that. It is. It's not my usual silhouette. I know what you're thinking.

[B]

Daddy, Daddy, Daddy got it for you.

[A]

You did? You said you took me acne. And you said anything you want.

[B]

I don't know. I was just feeling good. I need someone to spoil.

[A]

Oh, I was in a K hole last week. Oh, good. Yeah.

[B]

Let's go from that. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Right into just briefly. How was it that happened? It was scary.

[B]

You know, I was in a K hole once, and I was around a bunch of friends, and I did this bit where I was doing brand deals for each of them. It really killed.

[A]

I did. I was. I was not in a cahole, but I was on K at a wedding, obviously.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I was doing this whole dunce bit.

[B]

Officiating.

[A]

Yeah, I was officiating. Yeah. And it was also. My stomach's growling. I'm so hungry.

[B]

Me, too.

[A]

It killed. It totally destroyed. I mean, I was just a clown for these people. Big moment last night when I asked internal monologue. Do you see me as a clown or do you see me as a sexual being? And unfortunately, it was the former. Now that we're both single, I pose this question to you. Would you rather date someone who smokes or someone who is a runner?

[B]

Smokes 100%.

[A]

I just think running is so, like, obnoxious.

[B]

You know what I hate? The smell of someone returning from a room.

[A]

Oh, my God, me too.

[B]

Can I say that?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I just think that's a. That's a stench that I don't want to be. I don't want to be enraptured. But Sigs. I'm kind of like, yeah, well, also,

[A]

I think you could convince someone to stop smoking. I don't think you could convince a runner to stop running.

[B]

It's in their blood.

[A]

It's in their blood fully.

[B]

Cigarettes are an addiction. But here's the thing. Yeah, I don't. Yeah, I don't care. I think it's just like, let her rip, you know? I guess a lot of my choices in TV and song kind of make sense now.

[A]

A lot of the shit you've been posting. You know, A Beautiful Mind

[B]

should We just have sex, probably.

[A]

But we have to do it here. Looking at each other like, yeah, I will say. No, I won't say.

[B]

Please say I can't.

[A]

I won't.

[B]

Haven't I been through enough?

[A]

I'm not saying anything. No, I don't want to. I don't want to. But, like, welcome to hell.

[B]

I. Do you know what? Lana Del Rey has this line. It's Kintsugi, obviously.

[A]

Don't bring her up to me.

[B]

I am ride. I think it's time to talk about. I'm filming you.

[A]

Oh, please. Get it. Let's. I mean, because I actually haven't heard this whole story yet, and I'm excited.

[B]

Oh, my God. Okay, so let me set the scene. Terri and I are trying to eat at this lovely restaurant here, and I'm not gatekeeping anything in la. Support la. Like, truly bring your productions here. Everything. I want it all. Ellie needs it. Let's rebuild this place. SAP. It's fabulous. Thai cuisine. It's just absolutely delicious. Like, oh, my God, I would go every day if I could. So we're just, like, taking laps around the neighborhood. We cannot find a spot. And then finally we find one, but this woman is just, like, standing in it. And so we were like, oh, sorry, we're gonna park here. And she was like, I'm saving for my friend.

[A]

And we were. And it was Nina Drama.

[B]

I'm not kidding. She had Nina Drama's exact voice, which also, to me, I'm like, okay. Gagged. Like, I love her.

[A]

Like, we're allies here. Don't be mean to me.

[B]

And I was like, yeah, that's not, like, really a thing. Like, I. I. And I said it in a nice way. I was like, oh, sorry. Like, we are gonna park here. It's an available space. And, like, there's nowhere else to park. And, like, the standing in the street saving a spot thing, not to be a Larry David curvier enthusiasm, but I am kind of like, that's not really a thing. Yeah, I just kind of don't think that's a thing. Unless it's like, I don't know. In high school, I feel like that's

[A]

when I felt like it was right around the corner. Like, they should be here by now. That sort of thing.

[B]

Totally. And I'm kind of like, well, I don't see her. And you're just waiting in this. I'm like, what? All I said was like, okay, like, I think we're still gonna park here. Like, this seems insane. She immediately goes, I'm filming you. And I was like, okay, well, hi to everyone who is watching me, hello

[A]

to all my fans.

[B]

And I said, oh, joke's on you, sis. I love a camera.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I was like, hey, you guys, she's standing in an open parking spot in LA on a street she doesn't own, and we want to park here, and a couple gay guys just are trying to go to fucking dinner.

[A]

We just want to get some dinner.

[B]

Can you please just let us park here? And then she stopped because I think she thought instead, I would, like, be insane. I'm like, just to be clear, that's for if someone's being, like, heinously racist or, like, committing a crime or you

[A]

see a cop doing stop and frisk or something.

[B]

In fact, you're the one breaking the law. Like, you are standing in an open parking space on this.

[A]

To me. I'm like, go ahead and post it and see. See what the Internet decides.

[B]

Yeah. I'm like, you know, like Heart of Dixie. If the friend was right behind us, I would have been like, okay. Totally nowhere to be seen during this entire interaction. So, yeah, I guess I leave it up to the Bronies. Like, should we have done? But Terry was there, and he's been really bold in me, and he's like, stop being a people pleaser and, like, live your life. But I was really polite.

[A]

So what happened?

[B]

Oh, in the end, after two seconds, then she, like, completely quit. And that's also my thing. If she would have been like, I'm gonna keep filming you and I'm saving this for my friend, I would have been like, okay, that's True Grit.

[A]

Well, that's faita, and it's True Grit.

[B]

It was Faita. I would have been like, absolutely. And I. I actually have a podcast I think you'd love. Yeah, but she was a quitter immediately. Like, stopped filming after I was like, hey, everyone watching, this is an open

[A]

space, and we want to be Drama 7 here. Queer spokes. Benny Drama. I guess the thing is, like, when it really comes down to it, it's like, I have a car and you don't. So, like, this is where cars go. It's not where people go.

[B]

Well, that's one also. We're not 10, and I think that's cool, too. It's like, sometimes when people are like, oh, I get the front seat. It's like, well, you don't really need the front seat.

[A]

I think being perceived is really hard right now, and we're being perceived more than ever. And so I just like, to limit. Lately, what my vibe is, is just, like, limiting interactions with people in general. Like, I need to focus on Pinky. I need to focus on work. Like, I need to be in my apartment, and it's making me withdraw a little bit, but I think that's just what I need right now. I just don't want to be perceived, like, by, like, people at irl.

[B]

Totally. And I. I think I know when, like, safety is a part of it too. You know what I mean? Like, I. I try to be thoughtful about the people I am talking to, and I really try to make eye contact with no one throughout the day. Go one whole day without making eye contact. I know you can do it. It's so fun.

[A]

I can definitely do.

[B]

So many people just, like, want to chirp and I'm like. It's just. I'm not the person to do it too. I got my AirPods in. I'm listening to the like part right in Juno when Sabrina goes. I'm so fucking horny. I'm always listening to that Leave me alone ride.

[A]

I have something to say.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What I. What I like about my personal style is I don't think you can put me in a box. And I've been thinking a lot about bisexual girls and how they dress. And I. I've wanted to share this thesis for a while, but I don't really tweet anymore, so I didn't want to tweet it. So I just want to say that my theory is. And you guys can let me know what you think. Bisexual girls with boyfriends in LA dressed like Jim Carrey from the Mask.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And then bisexual girls with boyfriends in New York dressed like Jim Carrey from Ace Ventura.

[B]

Yeah. It's all referential.

[A]

It's all referential. And I don't even know that they're doing it consciously. But it's like everyone in la, by girls with boyfriends in la, dress like they're gonna, like, sing in a jazz band. And then. Anyone got any dice?

[B]

Wait, we. We have to talk about that joke. We also have to talk about welcome to My island trick. No, no, no. Those girls who are dressed like the Mask. I've been doing a doo wop version of welcome to My island remix. You have to do it right now by Caroline Polachek.

[A]

You have to do it.

[B]

And Charli xcx. Oh, my God. What? How do I even start?

[A]

The other night, Unprompted Terry was cooking.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you go, I'm gonna sing a jazz standard version of welcome to My island at your wedding. To me.

[B]

To you. And then I go I like to live my life luxurious Eating caviar toast, buying out the Ritz I've been told I can be tricky in relationships Cause I need someone who can take in all the challeng I won't lie yeah I've always been afraid to commit but now I'm falling so hot it's totally clear and if you can then welcome to my island Trick. And a dove flies out of my hat at your wedding Full like jazz band behind me doo wop.

[A]

I was on set the other day and I was in the hair and makeup chair and I just burst out laughing.

[B]

That makes me so happy.

[A]

You know when you start laughing hysterically at something and it's like it's actually so involved to explain. Explain it to the people that you're around. Cuz I'm like, first of all, you know that song welcome to My island by Caroline Polach? And they're like, yeah, you know, like they don't really know. And then I'm like, well, the rest of this really isn't going to make sense.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I was. I sort of explained best of my ability.

[B]

I mean, it's high brow, my love. What do you.

[A]

It's extremely high brow. It's on the. The Matrix. That New York mag Matrix. High brown, brilliant.

[B]

What's. Yeah, it's so. It's like, it's so dumb. It's smart. And that's kind of like what I want.

[A]

That's ride.

[B]

That's right. Welcome to Ride. Welcome to the Ride podcast. But I will be doing that at your wedding. I can't wait.

[A]

Me too.

[B]

And I know that the top will be a suit, but the bottom will be like Blair Waldorf lingerie. Like Agent Provocateur.

[A]

Agent Provocateur.

[B]

Yeah. Very like bustier, not bustier. What are they called?

[A]

Like garters.

[B]

Like garters. And is that what that's called? What happens when there's like. It's like a stocking, but then there's like a strap?

[A]

Yeah. I think it's called a garter, but I'm not sure. I wish I knew more about like old world stuff like that.

[B]

But I want you to have like an era where you have that under everything.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because Blair always had like full.

[A]

Well, you never know.

[B]

She had armor.

[A]

Cause I'm full of surprises. Expect the unexpected.

[B]

You know what? Someone told me this recently and.

[A]

What?

[B]

So when people talk about you, I start to like, you know, my voice gets shaky. You know what I mean? And, yeah, you're just an onion. Every time I think you're gonna say something, you say, today I'm writing for traditional family values, and my jaw, I have to pick it up from the floor.

[A]

But that's the thing about us, is that we committed. When we started this friendship, we were always going to surprise each other.

[B]

Well, I think we still are.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Like you. You just thought Terry was gonna make you dinner. You didn't know you were gonna get a jazz concert.

[A]

That and also Terry's dinner was, like, mind blowing.

[B]

Isn't he, like, low key? He's so good. Oh, the song Boys Chase Girls by Ingrid Michaelson is traditional family value also.

[A]

1, 2, 3, 4 by Feist.

[B]

1, 2, 3, four. Oh, my exit.

[A]

Benny, babe, Eyes on the road. Benny, look out. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.

[B]

And, Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual, even if it means sitting front row at a comedy show.

[A]

Hey, everyone. Check out this guy and his bird. What is this, your first date?

[B]

Oh, no. We help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual. Together. We're married. Me to a human, him to a bird.

[A]

Yeah, the bird looks out of your league.

[B]

Anyways, get a [e-mail] or with your local agent.

[A]

Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty.