HERITAGE COLLECTION: The Lesbian Cop From Ride Live

Summary

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Ride with Benito Skinner & Mary Beth Barone

HERITAGE COLLECTION: The Lesbian Cop from Ride Live

Release Date: March 18, 2026
Podcast by: Dear Media

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Episode Overview

This Heritage Collection episode opens with Benito and Mary Beth revisiting an iconic story from their live show: the infamous “lesbian cop” moment. Benito recounts a bone-chilling break-in at his home that is both harrowing and hilarious, ultimately culminating in the unexpected revelation that the responding police officer was a Ride Live attendee—and a lesbian. The duo explores themes of personal safety, queer community surprises, and the wild intersections between their public and private lives. The latter half shifts into their irreverent takes on two “heritage” topics they currently “ride” for: the sharply satirical Disney movie Zootopia (viewed through a neo-noir, cinephile lens) and, just as passionately, the all-American cheeseburger.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Setting the Stage: Heritage Collection & Iconic Moments

• [00:29] Introduction to the Heritage Collection—selecting, retitling, and revisiting legendary podcast moments.
• [00:48] “Moments that come to mind. The lesbian cop at Ride Live... how many chickens there are in the world.” — Mary Beth

The Break-In Story: A Home Intruder, Survival Mode, and Surprise Connections

• [01:22] Benito shares, for the first time, a story withheld for the show: a man broke into his backyard.
• [01:49] “Hoodie on. He’s young, maybe teenager. Reebok, black backpack. White guy, young… I’m thinking, well, that’s a school shooter. Like, we have… there’s a gun in…” — Benito [05:49]

Responses and Reflections:

• [02:55] Both hosts debate whether you should leave outside lights on or off for home security, asking listeners for advice.
• [05:55] Benito details the 5-minute 911 call hold; Mary Beth jokes about the lack of hold music.
• [06:11] “You do not engage. You don’t open any doors. You go lock yourself in your room, have your phone, contact authorities.” — Benito
• [07:35] The hosts reflect on police ambivalence: “ACAB also… If there’s someone better to call than the police, I'd love to know...” — Mary Beth
• [08:39] “He just imprinted on you.” — Terry, Benito’s partner, warning about the intruder seeing Benito’s face.

Notable Quote:

• [10:37] “The cop in that moment looks at me and goes, ‘I was at Ride Live.’” — Benito
• [10:39] “I just got chills.” — Mary Beth
• [10:47] The police officer is a lesbian, a Ride Live attendee with her wife, and fan of the podcast.
• [10:56] Benito humorously sets aside their ACAB stance in light of queer solidarity.

Memorable Details:

• [11:52] “Obviously, we’re all ACAB. That’s how we align politically. But, of course, it’s good to know there’s a Baroni on the force…” — Mary Beth
• [12:05] On progressive change: “Change from within. This is how we flip the Senate.” — Benito

Final Takeaway:

• [12:47] The incident becomes a lesson in home safety—and comedic fodder for the show.
• [13:03] “Thank you so much to him for not stealing your Halloween costumes…” — Mary Beth

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Segment: The Neo-Noir Genius of Zootopia

• [19:13] Benito dives deep into why Zootopia is a “modern Disney classic,” loving both its plot and underlying messages.
• [20:29] “It’s a fabulous mystery and a study on, like, stereotypes; what it means to be good cop, bad cop, the class system, racism, corruption in government—the police, literally.” — Benito

Cultural Commentary:

• [22:12] “Foxes can be sexual. We said that out loud to each other…” — Benito, on anthropomorphic cartoon crushes.
• [23:08] Both hosts pull rich comparisons to Silence of the Lambs, Miss Congeniality, Seven, and Gone Girl, framing Zootopia as an animated gateway to noir sensibilities.
• [24:09] Memorable analysis of “the sheep” as a “femme fatale”: “Her seduction is sweetness. Boy, did they mistake her kindness for weakness.” — Benito

On Zootopia’s Politics:

• [25:08] “When I saw it the first time, I was totally blown away by how much of a commentary it was on, like, racism and stereotypes and the class system. I was like, whoa, this is so deep…” — Mary Beth
• [25:48] “The police, as it stood when she started, was bad and wrong.” — Mary Beth
• [26:06] “She flipped it on its head and then she brought a fox into it. And now they’re going to solve things together…” — Benito
• [26:31] “That’s good cinema… noir… a hero that’s complicated; we have to root for Hannibal Lecter.” — Benito

Fun Details:

• [27:07] Zootopia’s mastery as a kids’ film also beloved by adults. Shakira as Gazelle, hilarious DMV sloth scene, and sneaky queer (GLAAD-awarded!) representation.
• [28:22] “A useless gay manning the front desk. We’ve all been there.” — Benito

Final Reflection:

• [29:00] “There’s so much growth in this and giving people the benefit of the doubt… a lot of good lessons that I’m excited my niece and nephews learn from Zootopia.” — Benito
• [29:12] “If you watch it and take away a pro-cop message, I don’t know… you probably don’t listen to Ride, so it's fine.” — Mary Beth

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Segment: Riding for Burgers—Passion & Nostalgia

• [34:51] Mary Beth professes her love for burgers: “I just want to enjoy burgers. There’s so few things in this world I enjoy… Food is very limited for me… I don’t want to give it up.”
• [35:56] Her perfect burger: “beef… sometimes it’s a smash, with lettuce, tomato, onion, mayo, gluten free bun, ketchup to dip, mayo, Russian dressing —and if there’s aioli, it’s in there too.”
• [36:22] “Sky’s the limit. Okay, it's an aioli. And I’m obviously enjoying that with a side of fries.” — Mary Beth

Benito’s Burger Take:

• [36:52] “Cheeseburgers are, I think, probably my favorite food… It’s like salmon and cheeseburgers are constantly at war.”
• [37:52] “Cheeseburger, I’m a cheeseburger guy. It’s gotta have cheddar… and that patty can be smashed. Shake Shack has, like, one of the best burgers in the world. Anytime I’m at JFK, I’m about to have a gut bomb on this flight…” — Benito

Techniques & Preferences:

• [39:12] Mary Beth’s tip for less intrusive onions: “Soak it in water for a few minutes so it loses that bite.”
• [40:00] “Sometimes if I put mustard on it, it’s like, I must be feeling fucking, like, crass.” — Benito
• [42:55] “It’s an American classic. I can see it now.” — Benito, on burger & pie combos at diners like Apple Pan.

Burger Memories & Symbolism:

• [43:23] “I had a pair of Vans in high school that were cheeseburger Vans… In a Catholic school I said, ‘You want to know who I am? Look down.’” — Benito
• [43:46] “I was a rebel. I wanted to make trouble and I wanted to make art.” — Benito

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Ride or Die: Zootopia & Cheeseburgers

• [44:20] “I will be having cheeseburgers for the rest of my life… I’m glad my intruder didn’t kill me so I can keep having cheeseburgers with the likes of you guys.” — Benito

• [44:58] “A burger is really something people of all ages could enjoy.” — Mary Beth

• [45:00] “Leg Zootopia.” — Benito

• [45:21] “Now more than ever, we need to be bridging that gap… if cartoons are the way to do it, I’m so here for it.” — Mary Beth

• [45:48] Benito, on trauma, Zootopia, and Inside Out 2: “I don’t know why I’m not scared at all. I watched Inside Out 2 the next day, a really stressful watch, but also good for kids.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• [10:37] Benito: “The cop in that moment looks at me and goes, ‘I was at Ride Live.’”
• [11:52] Mary Beth: “Obviously, we’re all ACAB. That’s how we align politically. But, of course, it’s good to know there’s a Baroni on the force…”
• [24:09] Benito: “Femme Fatale the sheep. But her seduction is sweetness. Boy, did they mistake her kindness, her weakness. I’M not giving—that’s too much away.”
• [36:52] Benito: “Cheeseburgers are, I think, probably my favorite food. It’s like salmon and cheeseburgers are constantly at war with each other— and chicken strips.”
• [44:20] Benito: “If it had ended the other day, I would have had one less cheeseburger in my life and that would have sucked.”

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Important Timestamps

• [01:22 – 12:47]: Benito’s break-in story, panic, the ACAB debate, and meeting a lesbian cop who’s a fan.
• [19:13 – 29:12]: In-depth Zootopia analysis: noir references, social commentary, queer representation, and the movie’s subversive edge.
• [34:51 – 44:58]: Cheeseburger love, best burger practices and preferences, and the burger as a symbol of joy and Americana.
• [44:14 – 45:48]: Ride or Die wrap-up: the influence of Zootopia and cheeseburgers on their lives and psyches.
• Notable Quotes: See above for speaker/timestamp notations.

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Final Thoughts

This episode exemplifies Ride’s signature blend of high-camp humor, pop culture savvy, earnest self-disclosure, and unexpected emotional resonance. Benito and Mary Beth manage to turn a terrifying real-life event into a comedy of errors with queer camaraderie, explore the societal undertones of animated family films with cinephile bravado, and wax poetic on the redemptive, communal power of the humble burger. The episode is both laugh-out-loud funny and sincerely insightful—an ideal companion for both new listeners and longtime fans.

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WE RIDE AT DAWN!

Transcript

[A]

The following podcast is a Dear Media production.

[B]

Hey, can you come pick me up? Yeah.

[A]

What's wrong?

[B]

Nothing.

[A]

Are you sure?

[C]

Yeah, no, I just need a ride. Ride, ride.

[A]

I just want to have fun.

[B]

Start your engines. Take care.

[A]

I'm Benito Skinner.

[B]

I'm Mary Beth Barone and this is Ride. Hello and welcome to the Ride Heritage Collection.

[A]

The Heritage Collection.

[B]

This is something new we're trying where we are going to release iconic heritage

[C]

episodes of the podcast in no particular

[B]

order, and we're going to retitle them so you know exactly which iconic moment to expect. Moments that come to mind. The lesbian cop at Ride Live Massive we're talking about. I'm your sister.

[A]

I was there. It was rare.

[B]

It was rare. NDA and of course, how many chickens there are in the world.

[A]

Ah, I just got a boner. Oh, my God. Wait, Mary Beth just cut her finger and is bleeding.

[C]

I guess we have to go enjoy this episode.

[B]

We hope it's a tasty treat for you. We're gonna have fun going through the archives and picking out these episodes for you.

[A]

Think about what we're doing right now. We do exist in the world. Isn't that trippy to think about? Let's go on the journey for the Ride Heritage Collection. How do these things stay in the air? A man broke into my backyard. That's how we have to start this episode. A man broke into my backyard. And I. This is the first time in herstory I have not shared something with you until the podcast. But I just decided, like, this is the one thing, like, if I'm going to really monetize this friendship, this is how you do it.

[B]

We had a phone call on the way to record and you told me, I have a story for you, but I can't tell you till we're on air. And I was like, okay, that's insane that you've been keeping this for me. For two days you've been keeping a secret from me. Then you go, I was going to ride for it, but I can't because people would be like, oh, you shouldn't ride for it. And then you go, it has nothing to do with anything you think it's going to have to do with. So I'm like, what the hell is it? And someone breaking into your backyard checks all those boxes.

[A]

I'm sorry, didn't I set the stage perfectly? You really did, Sarah Verona Halsey. So. Oh, my God. It's kind of bone chilling. I was glad it happened at the end because it taught me a really good lesson about A a side gate. And also, just like everything that happened is. So there are easier ways to tell me you listen to ride. And there's actually one really easy way, which is to tell me you do listen to ride. So just. Just wait. Also, Jackson is Australian. Jackson, can you say hi? Hello. Sorry, Marshall. You got got, bitch. That's crazy.

[B]

If you're going to walk out on

[A]

this family, if you're going to leave this family, just wait. We'll go down under for your replacement, sweetie. Bigger and better. That's what we said for season two. Say hi again, Jackson. I'll say hello in Australian. Good night. Oh, my God.

[C]

That's crazy.

[A]

Jackson's got us by the balls. So Terry is. Honestly, he treated me like I was his kid. And I got like a yes day. That's Yesterday, starring Jennifer Garner and Jenna Ortega. We like dinner shops. We did it all. And, oh, we were gonna see the Substance, but then the parking garage was completely full. I missed you, la. It's good to be back, kid. I was like. We were literally circling. And then finally I was like, well, we've missed the first 10 minutes of the movie, and I can only imagine those are kind of important. So I think we should just call it one. Saw it the next night. Totally fabulous. Had the time of my life. So we get home and our costumes that we're wearing for the ride Halloween episode were on the front door. I go to the front door where the ring is. I open them. And then Terry, I just hear him go, oh, my God, there's a man in the backyard.

[B]

That sends a chill down my spine.

[A]

I was so scared. I can't imagine if he had been in the house and anyone who has experienced that, like, I know I'd be scared, but if I was this scared at him being outside with all the doors locked, like, I actually cannot imagine. And I would probably have to just burn the house down that night. Do you know what I mean?

[B]

Oh, totally. I mean, all my stuff, I'm visualizing it. I have two questions. Was the backyard light on, or was it just a shadow of a figure? Because I don't even know what's scarier, honestly.

[A]

Do you really want me to say shadow of a figure right now? Because I will. And it was in the reflection of the window.

[C]

Spooked over, like, spooky.

[A]

I almost rode for this. Now I get why I didn't.

[B]

And was the back door locked? It was locked.

[A]

Back door locked. Okay. All the doors were locked. It was just the side gate we had left open on Accident. Hey, it'll never happen again. And I'm glad we found out this way. We learned a huge lesson, which also, like, if anyone can, like, tell me in the dms, are you supposed to leave your lights on? Are you supposed to turn them off? Do you want people to think you're home? Do you? I don't know. I'm leaving lights on all day. I'll just say that much. So immediately I. I call 91 1. I can't stress enough. I was put on hold for five minutes. Of course, during the five minutes, I thought, raped, killed. You've killed my kids, you've slaughtered my dog.

[B]

Body buried. He's actually dug and buried you.

[A]

I'm out in Pasadena. No, I. I'm. You're sprinkling my ashes in the ocean at that point. Five minutes. I. I'm like, you've got to be kidding me. And Terry's like, why have you called? And I'm like, yes. Like, they don't know. It's Queer Spokesmann drama. I'm not getting.

[B]

So where are you at this point? You're at the front door. You're in the car, like, what, He'?

[A]

Yard? Can I just say a couple things about him? Hoodie on. He's young. He's in his 20s, maybe younger. I think he might have been like, teenager. Reebok, black, backpack on, white guy, young, in a backpack. I'm thinking, well, that's a school shooter. Like, we have. There's a gun in.

[B]

It's a lone wolf.

[A]

What am I supposed to think?

[B]

Lone wolf at the house.

[A]

One plus one equals two, darling. So I'm terrified, ultimately, and so is Terry. We put on the lights, though, and nothing happened. Like, he didn't respond. So we were like, oh, he's like, fucked up. Which also scared us. I do think we did the right thing in. You do not engage at all. You don't open any doors. You go lock yourself in your room, have your phone contact the authorities, which is what we did. I just didn't know I would be literally on hold for five minutes. I'm actually pissed they didn't play music.

[B]

Well, that's what I was literally about to ask. What was the hold music like?

[A]

I was kind of like, well, at least give me a beat. No, the hold music is like, is this really an emergency? Like, they kept asking me over and over again. I'm like, well, like, maybe. I don't know. It seemed like a skit. And then finally, Terry calls too, and he gets through in like, a couple minutes. I don't. Homophobic, kind of. I don't know why, but just in that moment, I thought, homophobic, Yeah. I found out who Terry was. He's someone who would blame me for things in the scenario. And if he listens to this, I hope he hears that because he did something really cruel. I go up to the window because we have a window in our upstairs that looks down at the table he was sitting at. He just was smoking a cigarette. And this is where I started to kind of ride for him. Do you know what I mean?

[B]

Yeah, Like, Gone Girl esque, to be honest.

[C]

Breaking and entering.

[B]

Light up a cig.

[A]

He was like, I'm gonna give you a show. I looked down, and then we're just trying to keep an eye on him until the author, I love to call him, the authorities get there.

[B]

Well, ACAB also, I want to say, along with people telling us if lights should be on or off. If there's someone better to call when something like that happens than the police, I would love to know because it's like a caab, of course. And cops are so scary. But what are you supposed to do? Like, I don't want people to listen to this and be like, oh, you were supposed to do this. Like, just let us know.

[A]

I found out that we have neighborhood patrol, but you have to pay for it. And we, like, lease our place that they don't pay for that. So then they wouldn't come to ours. And I'm just like, okay, I guess.

[B]

Separate number.

[A]

There was a part of me that felt bad. I was like, oh, I mean, other people calling. Definitely have, like, bigger fish to fry. But just on the off chance that I've got a school shooter here. I don't want to die. I could have.

[B]

I'm like, this is like a bone chilling story.

[A]

No, I know, but it only gets fabulous. You're so not ready for where this is headed. I can't stress enough. This is very much Halloween. Spooky. I should have done this for the Halloween episode, but it's like, it's. It's Spooktober regardless. So I go up to the window because we've lost sight of him. And that was really scary to us for a second.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then as I go up to the window, he then turns. He sees me for the first time. Terry looks at me. He goes, he just imprinted on you. I was like, what?

[B]

What does that mean?

[A]

That's not a thing. He goes, he's gonna see your face now. He's gonna be obsessed. I Was like, okay, face card. But I was like, what are you talking about? He's like, this is like what stalkers do because Terry works with pop stars. So I think a part of him thought this was a stalker. I was like, dude, they don't. They don't care. That's not why they're here. So I guess he had imprinted on me in that moment. We finally get through to the cops, and they come. It takes longer than you would ever imagine, I would say is my review. We're upstairs, and you know how there's the window that sees to the street from our upstairs, we were able to see the cops and be like, go through the gate. We hear them. Cuz like, I have to hear all this go down because also ACAB too. You know what I mean? I'm like, that's kind of my guy at this point. Treat him right. Like he's a part of the family now. Like, don't. Don't be crazy. So they come in, we're listening, and my intruder, he goes, hi, officers. Like, so chill. Yeah, it's kind of like, okay, like,

[B]

what brings you here?

[C]

What brings you to my home?

[A]

And he said he was really fucked up. Very drunk or like, maybe high. And he was like, I live here. I am friends with the people who live here. This is my house. And I into that. I say, totally. So, Right, right. They take him to the car because they're gonna, like, take him to the bottom of the hill. And then the cop calls us down to speak to her for a second. She keeps staring at me, and I'm just a little bit like, what is going on? And then I think, did I do something? Like, is she gonna arrest me? I don't know. Why? I was just like, I feel like something's going on. Terry goes, did he say anything about names? We're just making sure it wasn't like some crazy thing where I don't know, he's like, come to kill us because, like, Benny made a White House video or something. The cop in that moment looks at me and goes, I was at Ride Live.

[B]

I. I just got chills.

[A]

And she said, my wife and I let a lesbian cop. Was that Ride Live? My jaw dropped. And I thought, well, for this moment, I'm taking down my ACAB vibe. Just for 10 seconds, because you just acknowledged the work in a way I. I couldn't have even imagined in my wildest dreams, Terry. And stop laughing. I. I was so in shock. And then she was like, if someone breaks into your house, the first time. If you want them arrested, you're the one who's arresting them. So you have to go to court. Which obviously I was like, he just was drunk and wandered into a house. Like, oh, we don't care. I want him to have the death penalty. That's all I said. I said, death penalty. If it's a second time, the cops will then arrest him. And it's like the courts, which I just thought was really interesting. I don't know. It just seems strange. They drove him away, but Terry and I could not stop laughing. And then we got a padlock that night. I think we got a little too comfortable. And it is what it is, but I'm so happy we're safe. Thank you, cops for coming. I'm glad. It took upwards of 55 minutes just to, like, resolve the whole situation. Terry and I couldn't even get through the first 30 minutes of Janet Planet without him falling asleep. And I can't help but think that that had everything to do with how long the cops took.

[B]

Obviously, we're all acab. That's how we align politically. But of course, it's good to know there's a Baroni on the force and. And that they answered the call.

[A]

It's the traitors. We have people working on the inside,

[B]

and we didn't even know from within.

[A]

But change from within, like, this is how we flip the Senate. And you've always said that's how we do it.

[B]

I've been very vocal about flipping the Senate.

[A]

I'm thinking, wow, you heard us say taika non taika live to a crowd at the El Ray. The lined background behind you is kind of starting to, like, warp almost paginating. So cool. Yeah. The fact that you're in the. You're at the UN right now.

[B]

Well, I'm in the UN Building. I'm giving a talk after this.

[A]

You're either on Howard Stern or at the un. I can't decide. You're in Geneva.

[B]

I'm in. I'm at the Geneva Convention, and we're here to resolve some stuff. I can't wait. So a few thoughts coming off of that story. One, lock your doors. It's like a huge part of keeping your home safe.

[A]

I agree. Neighborhood watch.

[B]

And obviously you guys had a nonviolent intruder, so it's a good way to learn that lesson. To thank you so much to him for not stealing your Halloween costumes. Like, he clearly had no motive except to take a seat in a chair. I only can respect that.

[A]

And can I just say he had the bones for a really good. Let me tell you, he was. He was serving face when he. Jackson, bleep it. Wait, Jackson, can you say Taika in your. In your accent? Taika. Holy shit. Well, you like the accent? Oh, God. Well, don't be crass.

[B]

Of course we ride for you.

[A]

Of course we ride. It's Jackson era.

[B]

Wow. I'm just happy you're safe. I think all the Bronies and I are just really relieved that you made it out unscathed.

[A]

Well, I do think that if I ever get shot, I'll live. I'll just say that. And I think that if I did. What a crazy couple episodes that would be. If I had a bullet wound.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I can't even imagine it would make me so happy, though, because if people were like, hey, do you have any tattoos? I'm like, no, but I do have a bullet scar.

[B]

You want to know how I got the. These scars?

[A]

And I change the story every time.

[B]

Oh, okay. That's actually kind of a good bit.

[A]

Well, can I just say that I have a pretty good segue today because the story I just told was a little bit neo noir, in a way.

[B]

In a way.

[A]

And it was very mysterious. And also, it was about cops.

[B]

I was thinking the entire time. This. This ties so well into this week's episode.

[A]

Well, it's 3:00am at the Geneva conference,

[B]

so let's get to it.

[A]

So let's get to it. I'm writing for Zootopia, a neo noir

[B]

classic, and this week, I will be riding for burgers.

[A]

What's that? That sounds like heritage, dude.

[B]

I think it might be heritage.

[C]

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[B]

Whoa.

[C]

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[A]

Who cares? Ride. Zootopia. It's hard to even begin. Where to start with this Disney classic. It's a modern Disney classic. I believe it came out in like 2016 is. Which is crazy cuz like so much time has passed since then. When you think about it. Zootopia. It's the story of a little bunny rabbit. There's this whole city, there's a metropolis and it's called Zootopia. And it's got burrows and everything is. So you look at it and you go, that's so creative. Like, I just thought that the whole time I would just smile and look at you and. And I've seen it now probably four or five times. My nephews are obsessed. My niece is obsessed. It's one of those things. Like, I could kind of get a kid to watch it with me if I needed to. Like, if my nieces and nephews want me to watch one of those, like, Einstein shows, I'm like, well, what about Zootopia? And they're like, yes, totally.

[B]

Yes, we're all in.

[A]

Before I get into Neo noir and before this becomes a cinephiles podcast.

[B]

Well, I was going to say Zootopia is kind of an animated movie for cinephiles.

[A]

Absolutely. I assume it has the same rating as Shawshank Redemption on IMDb. Isn't Shawshank like, a perfect 10 to me? I can't imagine one single flaw with this film. It's actually, like, a fabulous mystery and a study on, like, stereotypes, like, what it means to be good cop, bad

[B]

cop, the class, Roman racism, corruption in government, the police, literally.

[A]

Big pharma. It's crazy.

[B]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

[A]

And judging a book by its freaking cover.

[B]

A wolf in sheep's clothing.

[A]

Kid, don't even start with me right now. I cannot stress enough how attracted I am to Jason Bateman's fox in this, and that's also something I have to live with. It was about an hour in, and we looked at each other, and we thought, he could kind of get this.

[B]

He could probably get it. Well, I've always said that I would have sex with BoJack Horseman, so it's just good to know that other people are attracted to, like, Anthra or. What's the word? When you, like, assign qualities of a human to an animal. That. But a cartoon.

[A]

Yes, totally. Like me and Balto as a kid. That bastard. He saves kids from getting. She had pneumonia. He needed to get penicillin. Holy shit. He was so handsome. And I loved his girlfriend, too. Yeah. What a stud.

[B]

Thank you to David here at the Geneva Convention. David's here. He's manning the computer. He's doing some research for me. He's researching PE talks right now, but he also then looked up anthropomorphic.

[A]

Behind him is every flag. It's beautiful.

[B]

Every nation.

[A]

Every nation, baby. So, okay, so it's the story of a bunny who becomes a cop. She works her ass off, and the beginning of it is very. Can I just say, Silence of the Lambs. Jody Foster, she's training to be the top cop and she is the top cop. Which also like Neo noir, by the way. It's just like. It has elements of noir, but it's modern. So really anything could be like, Gone Girl is Neo noir in a way. There's like a femme fatale.

[B]

It's in black and white.

[A]

Also, Mr. Otterton, there are easier ways to tell me. You listen to ride kid. So essentially what happens is this bunny becomes a cop. She meets this sly fox and she has all these stereotypes about foxes and it's like, you're kind of a racist. Like, she's kind of like.

[B]

Well, predators in general.

[A]

Yeah, she.

[B]

She has stereotypes about predators in general.

[A]

Predators in general. She does and it's fucked. But she has like anti fox spray when she goes into the big city. It's crazy that we. We package this thing and gave it to kids because I do think they learn so many lessons. They need to at a young age. But it's really like, heady. You're not going to get it.

[B]

Generational bigotry. Because, like the stereotypes about foxes were reinforced by the bunny's parents. And the very opening scene where she's being bul reminded me of the opening scene of Miss Congeniality where she also then becomes a cop.

[A]

Also Neo Noir.

[C]

Also in many ways Neo noir.

[A]

That's harsher punishment for parole violators. Stan way kind of a cab.

[B]

Still acab still, of course.

[A]

ACAB still. Of course. This bunny finds herself enraptured, I would say, in a huge case that's going on where all of these animals are missing. And I'm not gonna give anything away, but just like, let's just say the top is corrupt. The top top is even corrupter. You can't imagine the things going on in Zootopia. And these are just a few things that I wrote down that reminded me of Neo Noir. I did write down in my notes. Foxes can be sexual. We said that out loud to each other. Oh, my God. When they go to the rainforest burrow. Holy shit. How Neo noir. The full rain pouring. It opens. It is a jaguar opening the door and it's cracks and he's in the shadow and it's just his eyes. So Neo. Oh, it's also. It's very seven, but also Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. I would say, because the ending is such a twist.

[B]

Like I said, it is a movie for cinephiles.

[A]

It's a movie for cinephiles. Femme Fatale the sheep. But her seduction is sweetness. Boy, did they. Boy did they mistake her kindness, her weakness. I'M not giving. That's too much away.

[B]

Profound.

[A]

I know. I wrote that down. Late night with a spray tan on it references the Godfather brilliantly. It's for. It's for adults. It's that thing where adults are in the theater and they go, God, they

[B]

go, that was for us.

[A]

That was just a little bit. That was for us. I love when it's for the adults, but I just think this film is like, it's just batshit. This is a children's film, but it's for everyone. And I can't stress that enough. It kind of feels Gone girl in the way that I'm like, is it anti cop or pro cop? I think it's like anti government structure. It is speaking to corruption happening from the top, top, top. Like, it's telling kids like, don't trust all this. And I guess all the cops are kind of like dicks at the beginning. But then Judy joins and she's more like about honesty. And it's very interesting.

[B]

When I saw it the first time, I was totally blown away by how much of a commentary it was on like, racism and stereotypes and like the class system. I was like, whoa, this is so deep. And I was like, okay, we're going to re watch it. To talk about other podcasts, how does the movie present police essentially, like now having all this new information about police and corruption in our own country? And I really do feel like it shows someone who entered the police force with like, giving them the benefit of the doubt that they were gonna like, only act like, altruistically and like, always do the right thing. And then she realizes when she joins the force that that's actually not what they're about and she has to operate outside the police to solve the mystery. So.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

It is sort of an anti cop narrative or anti the structures that they had in place because they weren't protecting the people and they definitely weren't like, solving the crime. So to me, my takeaway was like, the police as it's. As it stood when she started was bad and wrong.

[A]

Yeah. And she flipped it on its head and then she brought a fox into it. And now they're going to solve things together and we're getting Zootopia 2 so soon they announced it at D23. And I know this because of all of our Disney girls.

[B]

You know what you said when we were watching it because she starts as a meter maid, she starts giving people parking tickets and you go, how good this movie is? She. We're watching her give like 200 parking tickets. And we're still gonna root for her.

[A]

And we're rooting for her. Like, that's so hard. That's good cinema and that's good writing. Noir. That's femme fatale. That's a hero. That's complicated. That we have to figure out. We have to root for Hannibal Lecter. Like, that's tricky. But neo noir can do that.

[B]

Oh, whoa. That's so true.

[A]

Yeah, we're rooting for him. It's insane. That movie is so good. Holy. So Silence of the Lambs. Don't even get me started. Add it to our Spooktober list. I think.

[B]

What did I. I sent you a text with some movie titles. I said spooktober. I'm making a list.

[A]

Can I give one title? I think we should add the substance. We're not going to talk about it because that will be season four.

[B]

But season four.

[A]

Can't stress enough how much fun I had at the cinema. Terry and I looked at each other and we went, we're having fun. You know, it's like a night, too, when the parking lot wasn't full. Not often lately. Movies are either too long or just, like, not hitting for me, I don't know what's going on. Not in the way Zootopia hits. It's so insane that Disney did this. It's kind of like how elemental was a rom com for kids. And then after it becomes, like, after it's full neo noir, it'll have this genius, hilarious scene with the sloth dmv. And can I just say one name to you? Shakira. The gazelle named Giselle, who has a pop song going on throughout the whole thing. Try everything she says. Try everything. Try everything. The cop who runs like, the front desk. I guess that's like a thing. So gay. They, like, wrote such a gay. I think he's like a cheetah. Or. No. What is he? He's like a snow leopard.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He's so cute. He's so gay.

[B]

He's very. He's very he Love and not helpful. He's, like, bad at his job.

[A]

I know. It's like queer representation. GLAAD loved that.

[B]

They loved. They won the GLAAD Award.

[A]

They went. You fucking nailed it. Thank you. A useless gay manning the front desk. We've all been there.

[B]

It's just so satisfying to me when they set up a mystery and they answer all the questions. Like, I know the people that mapped it out put a lot of thought and detail into it. And then I like when things have multiple twists like that's hard to do

[A]

in a kid's movie. I'm like, in 90 minutes they gave me multiple twists that I never saw coming. Night Howlers. Can I just say something to you? Night Howlers. Come on, dude. I think it shows also like growth. There's so much growth in this and giving people the benefit of the doubt and just like letting people change and be like, I made a mistake. It's really beautiful. A lot of good lessons that I'm excited my niece and nephews learn from Zootopia.

[B]

I think there's also just a lot of beautiful messages in it. And I'm happy this movie exists. I think if you watch it and you take away a pro cop message. I don't know. You probably don't listen to rides, so it's fine.

[A]

Exactly. Or maybe you go to ride live. I don't even know. I don't even know what to think anymore. I'm so dizzy.

[B]

Yeah, that's definitely. It threw me for a loop to

[A]

hear, hey, does it help she's a lesbian.

[B]

It does and it doesn't. Do you know what I mean?

[A]

I completely agree.

[B]

I know what's about to be number 10 on Apple Movies tonight. Zootopia.

[A]

And I know what everyone's going to be eating tonight. Cheeseburger.

[B]

I'm just so excited to talk about burgers.

[A]

It's crazy to me that you're doing burgers and I'm not. Like, that's so cool. We've done a few things like that. Like me saying changing the subject is so U coded.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So let's get into cheeseburgers, sister.

[C]

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[B]

Seriously.

[C]

Which ritual does. And I want it to just be easy. Which ritual is. Ritual products contain high quality, clean ingredients. And all of Rituals products are vegan, GMO free and tested for heavy metals and common allergies. That's something that's really important to me.

[B]

I love that.

[C]

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[B]

beautiful new sofa, dining table or bed, head over to article.com I genuinely don't know where to start with my love for burgers. And I do want to say that for the vegetarians and vegans listening to this, I'm not condoning the beef industry. I'm not condoning farming, the fda, anything like that. I don't know what goes on. There's been a couple documentaries I haven't watched because I just want to enjoy burgers. Do you get that? I just want to be able to enjoy. There's so few things in this world I enjoy. Gluten free, I'm dairy free. Food is very limited for me. I just love burgers and I don't want to give it up. I really don't. So please don't send me documentaries that are going to make me not want to eat burgers.

[A]

Can I just say you don't have to.

[B]

Okay, thank you.

[A]

Can I say something even crazier? Supersize me.

[B]

Supersize me. And may he rest in peace. In this ride, I'm riding for burgers. That includes impossible burgers. That includes ones that are made out of, I don't know, grass or something.

[A]

It doesn't include those.

[B]

Actually though, I'm riding for all types of burgers. If I can construct my perfect burger, this is what it's going to be.

[A]

The merry smash.

[B]

It's going to be beef and sometimes it's going to be a smash. It's going to have lettuce, tomato, onion, mayo, and it's going to be on a gluten free bun. And I'm going to have ketchup to dip it in. I'm going to have mayo to dip it in. And I'm going to have Russian dressing to dip it in.

[A]

Aioli, sweetie.

[B]

If there's an aioli available, which many times it's not.

[A]

You said your dream. Come on. I don't want you to ever skimp on your dream meal.

[B]

Sky's the limit. Okay, it's an aioli and I'm obviously enjoying that with a side of fries. I used to get my burgers medium rare. I feel like medium rare has changed and now medium rare is rare. I'm getting my burgers medium well.

[A]

People just will not. They punish you. They're just like, this is going to bleed. This is going to move, bitch. They're mad at me and I'm like, I just, I'm sorry, Idaho did me like this. But you got to cook it a little bit more.

[B]

A little bit more.

[A]

I'm sorry. I just, I want a little bit of pink. I don't want too much. I don't want to chew for days, my love.

[B]

I'm a little longer.

[A]

Can I just say, cheeseburgers are, I think, probably my favorite food. It's like salmon and cheeseburgers are constantly at war with each other. And chicken strips. These three things just, it's. It is a big. It's crazy.

[B]

I just love burgers. I've been eating a lot of burgers since we wrapped. It was very bowl based for a while, but I tried this place called Ozzy's Burgers in Toronto that was totally fabulous. We got it one night with chicken strips, if you recall.

[A]

I can't even begin to tell you how crazy that was. That meal. That was so nuts. That meal. So hard that meal went so freaking hard. I left your apartment and I. I had a vanilla milkshake in my hand for after. It's like when I'm doing some fucking filthy shit like that, like, that is when I know I'm so happy. Terry and I having In N Out the other day, like, I don't think In N Out is the best burger by any means, but my God, it's fun and it's just a good time. They make me so happy. Can I say something to you?

[B]

Please?

[A]

Cheeseburger. I'm a cheeseburger guy. It's gotta have cheddar. And for me, I'm not. I think onions overpower the taste. Raw onions overpower the taste of things. So I like cheeseburger. And that patty can be smashed because I love. I think Shake Shack has like one of the best burgers in the world. It really does. Anytime I met jfk, I'm like, oh, I think I'm about to have a gut bomb on this flight because daddy's getting that with some crinkle fries. Oh, and you can't believe the I'm taking after. What the hell, dude? So maybe cut that. But I don't know. Who cares? Season two, someone tried to kill me. And then I like lettuce, tomato, maybe some pickles, but they better not be crazy.

[B]

Completely agreed. I'll do a pickle on the side too.

[A]

Ketchup and maybe special sauce. Smush that together. And I like. I like a brioche bun. Yeah.

[B]

Oh, you have such a refined palette.

[A]

I just. But I can have them all. I love all cheeseburgers. I love McDonald's ones. I love a Whopper. I used to get Whoppers literally every day after football practice. And can I just say something? Junior Whopper.

[B]

Oh, totally. I mean, you're a growing boy.

[A]

I don't. Hey, sometimes it's fun to just have a little one. Sometimes fun to have a little snack.

[B]

So one thing I want to say about onion is that I usually take all the onion off except for one piece. So there's like hint of onion still left on the burger, but it's not overpowering.

[A]

Very demure. I'll say that during Christmas, but very demure. Doing that is very demure.

[B]

I was watching Queer Eye and Anthony gave this tip. If you're using raw onion in something, soak it in water for a few minutes and it loses that bite, that sharpness. So if I'm. If I'm eating a burger at home at my parents house, because I've never Grilled. And I never will, but I like to go to my parents house. They're grilling. My brother's on the grill master. I'm gonna have that onion and a little bit of water first so I can just eat it to my heart's content.

[A]

I'm picturing you in like Shake Shack taking your onion to the toilet.

[B]

Like, no, I take an onion in a bag in water to shake shackles.

[A]

You pull it out of your Louis Vuitton cherry.

[B]

I go like this.

[A]

Yeah, you flick the pong water everywhere and then you put it on the burger.

[B]

I just love burgers. They're so inherently American to me, even though they're not American, but it's like fourth of July.

[A]

Well, of course, baby, you're firework. Firework.

[B]

That's what I sing to my burger right before I eat it.

[A]

Oh, burgers are so delish. I think there's something so cool too about just being like, can I get bacon on it too? What a nasty thing.

[B]

Don't even start. Surf and turf.

[A]

They put a fried egg on it and it's like, you know what I mean?

[B]

It's like heat fucking.

[A]

It's the Fucker Jones special.

[B]

The Fucker Jones. We'll have one burger option every first Tuesday at crematory.

[A]

Don't act like this isn't a part of our hundred dollar Erewhon smoothie. Where there's a burger on top, there's a cheeseburger.

[B]

God, now I'm just thinking about burgers and how beautiful they are.

[A]

And sometimes like, if I put mustard on it, it's like, I must be feeling fucking, like, crass. I just think lately I feel like burger joints, which, how cool is that to say, whoa, they have just been getting better and better. There's this one by me in la. Do you remember what it's called?

[B]

No, but it's by the movie theater.

[A]

It's like quarter Penny. Penny. What's it called? Jackson? Do you know, darling? I don't know. Google.

[B]

While you're looking that up, I do want to say I'm an equal opportunity burger consumer. So whether it's fast food, diner, burger, gourmet burger, artisanal, grass fed, homemade, I just want a burger.

[A]

Can I describe a burger night I had that was amazing? Yes, because it's those burger nights, it's those burger nights when it's not those pork nights, it's those burger nights.

[B]

This episode of Ride is brought to you by meat farming.

[A]

Literally. Oh, my God. I get home, it's my birthday and I Just shot curb your enthusiasm at a mall in the Valley. I get home, my wife has gotten me hi Ho burgers, which are so delish. They're from the same guy, I think, who did Sugarfish. So, you know, it's good.

[B]

I just went there today.

[A]

Oh, good for you. Wait, you went to Sugar Fish without me?

[B]

Well, it was with Emily. Don't get mad.

[A]

Who introduced you, bitch?

[B]

Who introduced you to each other, bitch? My favorite owner of the season.

[A]

So she has hi Ho burgers waiting for me, fries, a strawberry shake because she knows me real good. And then we watched American Jigalo, a perfume. I'm like, I have chills. It's like those burger nights.

[B]

Did you while you're here?

[A]

No, I've got a big list that sounds nothing like what you said.

[B]

You know what? We'll go there when I'm there, and we'll post from it. I will say, Smash Burgers are really sweeping the nation right now. It's like they reinvented the form.

[A]

I know. Which I thought was just the name of that place, Smashburger, which was really good. I used to go there all the time in Idaho, and it's in some airports now. I don't really see it often, but, oh, God, it's so fucking good. Like, I love a diner burger, but Apple pan has been in LA forever, and oh, my God, it's fabulous. Oh, it's just delicious. And then you can get pie thereafter. It's like a burger and pie. Come on.

[B]

It's an American classic.

[A]

It's an American classic. I can see it now.

[B]

I love burgers. I just think they're so beautiful. They're very elegant. To me, I know they're like a finger food because you eat them with your hands, but to me, a burger is elegant. You know what I'm doing with my burger when it's in a bunch of. I'm turning it upside down and I'm cutting it in half with a serrated knife. It's so much easier to dip because you have a hard angle that way. And it's just like, I can hold the half and I'd relish in that for a little bit. And then there's a whole other half waiting for me.

[A]

I love cheeseburgers so much. I had a pair of vans in high school that were cheeseburger vans. Like, it had the layers in it. You couldn't imagine what I could do with shoes in a Catholic school. I said, you want to know who I am? Look down.

[B]

They let you wear that in A In your. With your uniform?

[A]

Yeah. I could wear whatever shoe I wanted. So that's where I. I decided to teach him what pop punk could be.

[B]

Damn.

[A]

I was a rebel. I wanted to make trouble and I wanted to make art. You want to watch Cruella on my plane ride home. Because there was nothing else. I tried so many other things from Toronto, Nothing was hitting. Wally probably saw me watch Cruella on the flight. And the guy next to me was interested. Let's just say that. And I think it's my fourth time watching. Have you seen it?

[B]

Very visually stimulating. I actually also watched it on a plane.

[A]

That's great.

[B]

But I've only seen it once. I love that I gotta catch up with you. Let's get into Ride or Die.

[C]

You know what you are, Benny?

[B]

Hmm?

[A]

A f ck it.

[C]

Your words, not mine, babe. You're my ride or die.

[A]

Ride or die. Obviously, I ride for cheeseburgers. I have loved them my whole life. They're so fun. They do it with flair. They do it with chair. And I will be having cheeseburgers for the rest of my life. If it had ended the other day, I would. I would have had one less cheeseburger in my life and that would have sucked. So I'm glad that my intruder didn't kill me so that I can keep having cheeseburgers with the likes of you guys.

[B]

I can't wait to share some burgers when we're in the same city very soon. Oh, I can't wait for New York burger.

[A]

I'm having a New York burger next week.

[B]

I can't wait. Also, yeah, a burger is really something that people of all ages could enjoy.

[A]

Mm. Leg Zootopia.

[B]

Just like, oh, God. And you know, I ride for Zootopia. I was so glad that we have been sort of breadcrumbing it this whole season. And now we're finally talking about it. I think there's a lot of really profound lessons and messages for kids and adults. And I really feel like now more than ever, we need to be like, bridging that gap. And if cartoons are the way to do it, I'm like, so here for it.

[A]

I agree. Someone told me that at, I believe, Tokyo Disney, or maybe it's in Shanghai, they built Zootopia. You couldn't imagine what I thought when I saw that.

[B]

I don't even know what to say right now.

[A]

I know.

[B]

It's kind of like when you told me you had an intruder. I'm like, how many times can you render me speechless in one episode? I don't know what to say. The intruder thing, I'm still not over. That would be traumatic for me.

[A]

I don't know why. I'm not scared at all. I watched Inside out too. Like the next day. A really, really stressful watch. But I understand how that could also be good for kids. So I think about your mind in that way. It's really beautiful. But I. As someone who is so anxious. Oh, my God, I was sweating. I was so nervous. I was like, riley, you better start telling the truth here, girl. You're really fucking moves. No, she's at this hockey camp and I'm like, you're making a lot of bad choices. And I'm starting to get pissed. I was stressed, but our dad plays her dad, so it's like she's kind

[B]

of support the work. She's related to us in a lot of ways.

[A]

Yeah, Riley. Every time I heard Kyle's voice though, I was like, that's. I mean, that's. Dad.

[B]

Dad. What are you doing here?

[A]

But it was a beautiful film, but holy fucking shit, did it stress me out. It kind of reminded me of in Toy Story 3 where Woody loses his hat. And if you have some of the illnesses that I believe we have that will ruin your experience in a theater for at least 20 minutes and then I'll. Oh, my God. It was like Argo when the plane wouldn't take off. It's just.

[B]

Speaking of Argo, I have to get back to the Geneva Convention. We have a lot of stuff to sort out. But I'll see you here soon.

[C]

We'll be here. Her together on the Today you're discussing cops and meat.

[A]

All the flags are waving.

[B]

Well, I have a motorcade.

[A]

Can I say something to take us out of this? Yeah, try everything. Try everything. Is that. I don't know what other.

[B]

I can't hit those notes.

[A]

Try everything. Remember when Shakira was like, Barbie is like for. Okay, we'll go out with that.

[B]

No, keep that.

[A]

Oh, my.

[B]

Exit. Benny, babe, Eyes on the road. Benny, look out. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.