ScreenStrong Families — Episode #251

Title: 10 Things I’m Thankful For Because I Grew Up Without Toxic Screens
Host: Evan Hempe
Date: November 26, 2025

Episode Overview

As Thanksgiving approaches, Evan Hempe reflects on his upbringing in a screen-strong, low-tech home. With a personal, candid style, Evan shares the 10 things he’s genuinely thankful for because screens and social media didn’t dominate his childhood. Drawing on first-hand experiences, he highlights unexpected rewards—confidence, better health, deep friendships, and more—that came from forging his identity offline. The episode encourages parents to embrace the “countercultural” choice to limit toxic screens, reassuring them that today’s friction can yield tomorrow’s gratitude.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Gift of Countercultural Parenting (00:00–04:40)

• Evan opens by acknowledging the friction parents (and kids) experience when they go against the cultural norm by restricting screens.
• "If you are making decisions that are going to be tough on your kids that they don’t like, that’s okay. There’s supposed to be a friction there. You’re not supposed to be friends with your kids, right? You are supposed to be guiding them." — Evan (03:10)

10 Things I'm Thankful For Because I Grew Up Without Toxic Screens

1. Real, Deep Friendships (04:41–09:45)

• Rejects the tech industry’s claim that “screens help kids connect.”
• Real friendships come from shared, real-life challenges and experiences.
• "I had to make real friendships. I had to talk to people to their face. I had to learn how to judge nonverbal cues. That’s what they say, a lot of communication is nonverbal, about 90% of it." — Evan (05:40)
• Childhood activities (e.g., cross country) built stronger bonds than online interactions ever could.

2. Genuine Confidence (09:46–14:27)

• Without screens as a social crutch, Evan learned to be comfortable in face-to-face interactions.
• Ordering food, public speaking, trying new things—confidence grew from real-world practice, not online validation.
• "People always say, ‘Oh, that comes so naturally to you.’ You're so gifted at speaking. You're so... No. This was built on the fact that I had to go up to the McDonald's worker and say it with my chest." — Evan (10:32)
• Confidence is a learned skill, nurtured by pushing through discomfort, not avoiding it.

3. A Calmer, Less Anxious Mind (14:28–21:11)

• Without constant notifications and social comparison, Evan’s mind was more peaceful.
• Even as a college student with a phone (but no social media), too many notifications feel overwhelming.
• "You're just getting flooded constantly, and that's not healthy... It's exhausting for adults—I can't even imagine myself now, can't imagine a 13-year-old dealing with that." — Evan (16:00)
• Critiques how adults recognize youth anxiety but fail to “pull the weed at the source,” i.e., remove toxic screens.

4. Time to Develop Skills and Passions (21:12–27:40)

• No screens meant more hours for practice and pursuing hobbies—music, sports, art.
• Reflects on learning to enjoy boredom, daydreaming, and deep thinking.
• "Thinking is great. Thinking is fun. Everybody likes thinking. Even something as simple as when you're riding in the car, look out the window and think." — Evan (22:50)
• Developed resilience and mastery (“10,000 hour rule”) which wouldn’t have happened scrolling online.

5. Better Focus for School and Life (27:41–33:18)

• Less digital distraction = more attention for academics, tasks, and true follow-through.
• Learned to finish what he started, a rarity among peers “wired for constant stimulation.”
• "First 80% of a task is the easiest. But getting it across the finish line... that takes resilience, and that’s called follow through. That’s something I learned as a kid because I had to concentrate until something was done." — Evan (31:25)

6. Good Sleep and Better Health (33:19–37:38)

• Without late-night scrolling or blue light, Evan got better sleep, vital for brain and physical health.
• Details how screens hijack the natural bedtime routine, keeping kids up late and robbing them of quality rest.
• "Sleep is one of those things, especially in the developmental years, that if you don't get enough of it, it’s going to show in the future." — Evan (33:30)
• Practical tip: use a sleep mask to improve rest.

7. Learning How to Handle Boredom (37:39–42:20)

• Emphasizes boredom as the birthplace of creativity and imagination.
• Reframes boredom as an opportunity for inventiveness, not a negative state to be avoided.
• "Boredom is where creativity grows... Many great things have been born out of boredom." — Evan (38:54)
• Encourages letting kids find their own fun rather than always handing them a digital “boredom cure.”

8. No Digital Mistakes Following Me Forever (42:21–46:58)

• Grateful to have avoided posting regrettable comments or pictures online.
• Recognizes that mistakes made in person can be corrected and forgotten, unlike permanent digital records.
• "There are so many things that I said in high school, middle school... that I’m ashamed of. I can't even imagine if they were online following me around." — Evan (42:50)
• Avoiding social media as a teen provided a “clean slate” for relationships, interviews, and future opportunities.

9. A Strong Sense of Who I Am (46:59–54:29)

• Braving peer mockery in middle school (for not having video games or social media) built character and self-acceptance.
• Over time, the “countercultural” stance became respected among peers.
• "Not having to constantly worry about what was popular... being confident in what I have, the things that I am good at—that became who I was." — Evan (50:48)
• Authenticity created real connections and made Evan a role model to others.

10. A Close, Connected Family (54:30–61:00)

• Family dinners were sacred, providing time for connection, arguments, laughter, and love.
• Screens can drive wedges into families, leading to “a dark house, sad—kids eating alone.”
• "Having a place where you can—where it’s a home base. There’s connection, there’s deep love, everything you can share together." — Evan (58:03)
• Life skills, support, and unconditional love flowed from this screen-free togetherness.

Memorable Quotes and Moments

• On parents’ hard choices:
  "You're not supposed to be friends with your kids, right? You are supposed to be guiding them." — Evan (03:15)

• On fake digital connection:
  "All of that is a bold-faced lie... we were forced to make real friendships." — Evan (05:12)

• On public speaking:
  "No, none of that comes natural. It’s all a skill that’s built up. You have to put in the work behind the scenes to make it look like it does." — Evan (10:38)

• On youth anxiety:
  "Everyone knows our kids are more anxious. But nobody wants to actually cut down to the root." — Evan (20:45)

• On handling boredom:
  "I think all the greatest inventions—people were bored. The inventors just sat around and thought a lot. That’s how creativity grows." — Evan (39:20)

• On digital mistakes:
  "Why are we allowing our kids a platform to say things that they're going to be embarrassed for in the future? Why would we let them do that?" — Evan (44:13)

• On authenticity:
  "I wore a fanny pack my junior and senior year. Horrible fashion decision. But I was extremely confident in who I was." — Evan (52:40)

• On family bonds:
  "Having that sense of a house that’s a home, because that’s where my family is… being able to come home, hang out, argue, laugh—it's supposed to be." — Evan (58:10)

Takeaways & Guidance for Parents

• Current countercultural choices—limiting screens, insisting on device-free spaces, being “the mean parent”—can lay a foundation of lifelong gratitude, confidence, and connection in your children.
• Real relationships, skills, and family cohesion grow best outside the glow of a screen.
• Summarizing his message, Evan says,
  "Growing up ScreenStrong was actually so much easier than growing up with the burden of toxic screens." (61:25)

Resource Mentioned

• Kids’ Brains & Screens: A ScreenStrong Student Course — A curriculum/book for parents and kids to learn the science behind screens and practical strategies for building a screen-strong life.

Final Reflections (61:01–End)

Evan reiterates that while raising kids without toxic screens is “not easy now,” the rewards are tangible and deeply meaningful. He encourages parents to “stand up for your kids, stand out from the crowd, stay strong, and happy Thanksgiving.”

For More Information

• Check out ScreenStrong's educational programs and resources for practical help in reclaiming childhood and family life from toxic screens.