ScreenStrong Families Podcast - Episode #13

ENCORE: Screen Use During the Holidays—ScreenStrong Families Q&A
Host: Melanie Hempe, BSN
Guest: Mandy (ScreenStrong Ambassador)
Date: December 25, 2024

Episode Overview

This Q&A-focused episode tackles the challenges families face regarding screen time during the holiday season. Host Melanie Hempe, joined by ScreenStrong ambassador Mandy, addresses listener-submitted questions, offers practical advice for creating screen-free traditions, suggests alternatives for entertaining kids of all ages, and discusses strategies parents can use to manage their own screen habits. The overall message is one of encouragement—empowering parents to reclaim family time, foster stronger relationships, and create lasting memories away from phones and video games.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Starting Off: A Puppy Instead of Tech Gifts

• [00:49] Mandy shares her family’s decision to bring home a puppy instead of giving technology gifts, echoing a ScreenStrong philosophy:

  "We've been putting some fun posts over the past couple weeks about how getting a puppy is way better than getting the latest, greatest technology… We got a puppy. And it's keeping everybody very busy and doing just what you said, Melanie, get a puppy and it will take place to the screen, and it's doing a great job." (Mandy, 01:11)

• Anecdotes about family pets becoming part of the holiday memories, highlighting alternatives that naturally displace screen time.
• Mandy is an ambassador for ScreenStrong and actively promotes its community.

2. Q&A Segment: Addressing Listener Concerns

Q1. How to Set Graceful Screen Limits with Friends and Family

[03:38]

• Melanie emphasizes preparing visitors ahead of time, using humor and humility:

  "You've got to tell them early, if possible... just say, you know what? We're trying something new and different. Our family's really struggled with some screen overuse… I discovered that my boys were allergic to video games." (Melanie, 04:32)

• Suggestions:
  • Provide schedule structure for activities.
  • Proactively offer games, crafts, and cooking as alternatives.
  • Plan outdoor time every day and have crafts or projects ready.

Q1b. When and How to Introduce Healthy Screen Use (for young kids)

[10:23]

• Emphasize the difference between "Purposeful" vs. "Toxic" screens.
• Purposeful = connecting family, educational, not addictive; Toxic = video games and social media.
• Melanie:

  "We never allow toxic screens for our kids… there's no context really in our life where a child will ever need a video game."

• Advice: Wait until later in high school for a basic phone; don’t rush digital access.

Q2. Best Podcasts for a 13-Year-Old Boy

[13:00]

• Recommendations:
  • "Six Minutes" (mystery/adventure)
  • Old-time radio shows ("The Shadow"), fun for mystery-lovers
  • Audiobooks as an excellent alternative; library apps like Libby and Hoopla
  • Family favorites: Adventures in Odyssey, Mr. Henry’s Wild and Wacky Totally True Bible Stories, Wow in the World.
• Mandy:

  "We love podcasts... it's a great thing for them to do while they're doing something else." (Mandy, 15:36)

Q3. How to Do a Screen Detox at Christmas

[16:17]

• Christmas is the best time for a detox due to the natural routine disruption:

  "Christmas really is the best time because there's so much more to do with decorating cookies and shopping and playing in the snow... I highly recommend giving your screens a vacation over the holidays." (Melanie, 16:23)

• Use the ScreenStrong Seven Day Challenge.
• Plan non-screen gifts (reference: ScreenStrong Non-Tech Gift Guide).
• Use family time, traditions, and peer support to create "natural distraction" from screens.

Q4. Resetting Parental Screen Habits During Holidays

[19:43]

• Acknowledge that parents are susceptible to tech overuse too:

  "You don't wake up one day just totally, you know, addicted to your phone. It kind of creeps in." (Melanie, 20:09)

• Tips:
  • Store your phone in another room or car to resist temptation.
  • Use set cues—close your laptop when school is over, open the oven to signal a shift to family time.
  • Mandy suggests grayscale mode and removing apps:

    "Put your phone in grayscale mode... your brain is not so inclined to stay on your phone as long… And taking social media off my phone... I'm only checking Facebook a couple of times a day." (Mandy, 22:50)

  • Replace screen time with music and physical books.

Q5. Entertaining Older Teens Without Screens

[26:01]

• The challenge is greatest if teens haven't developed self-directed interests.
• Practical strategies:
  • Encourage music (learning, playing, group jam sessions).
  • Crafting, art (watercolor house portraits, diamond painting, cross-stitch, macrame).
  • Sewing, knitting, or even simple repairs—valuable brain-building activities.
  • Cooking, gift-making, holiday tradition participation.
  • Group games, ping pong, organizing or decorating their room.
  • Reading—create a designated "reading chill-out" space.
  • Most important:

    "Bring them alongside into your world and then sit down, you know, with them and help them with these other things we talked about." (Melanie, 34:40)

  • Mandy’s encouragement:

    "...when the screens aren’t there and they’re not available, they find things to do. Even the older one...have hope in that." (Mandy, 35:23)

Q6. Surviving Holiday Break with an Only Child (15-year-old Daughter)

[36:16]

• Caution against letting screens substitute for friends.
• Emphasize cultivating one-on-one activities and relationships:

  "...when you're trying to build an adult, the best thing is to have your kids hang out with adults." (Melanie, 37:31)

• Schedule purposeful time with family, expose to family friends, involve in projects around the home.
• Limit and replace screen time to prevent isolation.

Q7. Creating New Holiday Traditions

[40:36]

• Food-centered traditions: give kids responsibilities for certain dishes.
• Activities: driving around to see Christmas lights, family "dinner and a movie" night themed after a favorite holiday film.

  "...this has turned into such a fun family memory for us... and our kids love dressing up and it’s so silly and it’s so funny and we just laugh and we just need to laugh more." (Melanie, 41:40)

• Watching classic holiday movies together (Elf, The Santa Clause, A Charlie Brown Christmas, etc.), possibly paired with themed snacks.
• These activities act as "glue" for family bonds.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On setting limits with extended family:

  “…you get so excited about it that sometimes...you can kind of oversell things because you just get so, you know, yeah, you just get so excited… until you get a glimpse of the other side…” (Melanie, 04:32)

• On introducing kids to screens:

  “There is no context really in our life where a child will ever need a video game. I mean, think about it. That's your choice as a parent.” (Melanie, 10:38)

• On parent screen habits:

  “We are the coaches, they are the players... during the holidays, I think it would be super good for us all to take a break off that constant stream in our pocket.” (Melanie, 21:44)

• On family togetherness:

  “Believe it or not, your kids, I mean, those kinds of activities and those kinds of traditions are like glue. They just glue your kids together to your family.” (Melanie, 42:54)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:49 – Puppy as a non-screen holiday gift; the importance of engaging alternatives.
• 03:38 – Q1: Navigating screen limits with visiting friends and family.
• 10:23 – Q1b: Introducing healthy screen use by age and type.
• 13:00 – Q2: Podcast and audiobook recommendations for tweens/teens.
• 16:17 – Q3: How (and why) to do a full screen detox at Christmas.
• 19:43 – Q4: Helping parents reset and model healthy digital habits.
• 26:01 – Q5: Strategies for keeping older teens busy and fulfilled.
• 36:16 – Q6: Supporting an only child during a screen-free holiday.
• 40:36 – Q7: Establishing and sharing new holiday traditions.

Tone and Takeaways

• The conversation is practical, compassionate, and hopeful, with an undercurrent of humor and authenticity.
• Melanie and Mandy acknowledge the struggle, relate through personal anecdotes, and offer actionable steps.
• Keen focus on preparing, not just restricting: prepping schedules, alternative activities, and traditions.
• Consistent emphasis: screen detoxing is best approached as a family project, with parents modeling what they want to see in their kids.

Closing Encouragement

"Don’t let toxic screens steal your Christmas... There’s going to be the rest of your kid’s life to mess with all this stuff. Let’s take a break from it." (Melanie, 43:58)

For full resources and the Non-Tech Gift Guide: visit screenstrong.com.

Summary prepared for listeners seeking actionable ideas and motivating stories to help them create a screen-strong holiday (and beyond) with their families.