Secondhand Therapy | Episode #121 Summary

"I Spoke to My Dead Mom Through a Psychic"

Release Date: March 9, 2026
Hosts: Louie Paoletti ("Lou") & Michael Malone ("Yon")

Episode Overview

In this candid and emotionally charged episode, Lou and Yon dive deep into their recent experiences with psychic mediums, specifically channeling connections to deceased loved ones. With their trademark mix of humor and heartfelt honesty, the hosts explore grief, skepticism, the longing for closure, and the messy journey of personal healing. Both share stories of speaking (or attempting to speak) with their mothers and significant others via psychic readings, unpacking the emotional aftermath and reflecting on what these encounters mean for their mental health and ongoing growth.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Entering the World of Psychic Mediums

• Both Lou and Yon recently tried psychic readings through the episode's new sponsor.
• Lou shares it's his first experience with a true medium, stating:

  "I have never had a medium before...I've had my cards read and things like that." (05:33)

• Yon is more familiar with psychics but not with this approach, highlighting some past upselling attempts.

2. The Reading Experience: Process & Skepticism

• Lou describes the process:
  • The medium asked for only his first name and requested he confirm or deny based on her descriptions.
  • She initiates spiritual connection through breathing exercises.
• Lou, initially skeptical, is struck when the medium describes an older woman with curly hair—matching his mother’s signature afro—but maintains his critical perspective throughout.
• Both hosts frequently interject with jokes to temper the intensity and display ongoing skepticism.

3. What the Medium Said: Messages from the "Other Side"

• Lou's medium identifies his mother, focuses on her regret for not spending enough time with him due to work, and warns Lou about his own workaholism:

  "She wants you to know that you're working too much and that you need to take some time for yourself because you'll regret it when you're older...more life, less work." (13:00)

• Lou tests the medium by asking for a nickname, but she doesn't get it, making him doubt again.
• The medium shifts, bringing in Lou's Uncle Mike—hit with more resonance due to recent thoughts Lou had about him and their shared love of motorcycles.
• Yon shares a similar reading, starting with his grandmother, then moving to a deceased ex-partner, both described uncannily well.

4. Emotional Fallout, Doubt, and Closure

• Both hosts admit to cycling between skepticism and being emotionally moved.
• Yon, upon hearing affirming messages, decides to abruptly end the call:

  "Either it’s going to keep going to a point where things are true, or...where she loses me. And neither of those are beneficial." (25:41)

• Lou feels more unresolved, caught between wanting more answers and not knowing what he actually wants or expects from such encounters.

5. Authentic Grief, Guilt, and Growth

• The readings surface old guilt and unresolved pain, especially for Lou, who grapples with his mother’s death and questions of self-worth.
• Yon offers a key insight:

  "It’s interesting that even your mom is done living in the past. She had no interest in telling you about the past 10 years. She’s talked—she’s, your mom is more present than you are. And I think that's why you're angry, because you have frozen time. And she hasn’t, she’s right here today." (32:23)

• Lou shares a vulnerable breakthrough after a painful personal history:

  "The revelation I had today: I need me. That's who needs me. I need me to show up, I need me to take care of myself, I need me to love me...For years, I've just been screaming that from the inside." (44:13)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Lou, on medium skepticism:

  "At that moment, I was like, this ain't real." (14:41)

• Lou, on a bittersweet message from his mother:

  "I haven't talked to you in ten years and you're like, d—stay away from the computer. You're on the computer too much. Okay, thanks, Ma." (29:05)

• Yon, on choosing his own ending:

  "So now, depending on the day, I can be like, oh, that was really nice. Or I can be like, meh...that is what it is." (27:13)

• Yon, psychoanalyzing Lou's anger:

  "Your mom is more present than you are…and I think that’s why you’re angry, because you have frozen time." (32:23)

• Lou's "aha" moment on self-need and healing:

  "The revelation I had today: I need me. That's who needs me. I need me to show up...For years, I've just been screaming that from the inside." (44:13)

Important Segment Timestamps

• [05:33] – Lou describes his first medium reading.
• [08:34] – Medium describes Lou’s mother, matching physical details.
• [13:00] – Medium’s message about work/life balance.
• [14:41] – Lou doubts the authenticity after a missed detail.
• [17:23] – Lou’s encounter with Uncle Mike through the medium.
• [21:35] – Yon’s grandmother comes through with emotional family details.
• [25:41] – Yon reflects on why he chose to end his call with the medium.
• [29:05 & 32:23] – Lou and Yon discuss bitter feelings, the struggle for closure, and insights about living in the present.
• [44:13] – Lou’s emotional self-realization about needing himself for healing.

Tone & Style

The hosts maintain their characteristic blend of humor, heartfelt rawness, and irreverence. Their banter softens heavy subjects, but neither shies away from deep vulnerability—especially as Lou processes pain and growth in real time. The conversation feels intimate, sometimes even therapeutic for the hosts themselves, welcoming listeners into the complicated, non-linear path of grief and healing.

Takeaways

• Medium/psychic experiences can stir up powerful emotions, doubts, and unexpected realizations.
• Grief and healing are ongoing processes, often without clear closure.
• Seeking answers from the “other side” may reflect an internal search for peace, self-forgiveness, and self-care.
• It’s okay to hold space for both skepticism and hope, and to not have all the answers.

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