Selected Shorts — “Off the Leash” (October 9, 2025)

Podcast: Selected Shorts

Host: Meg Wolitzer (from Symphony Space)

Guest Readers: Ana Gasteyer, Jeremy Shamos, Javier Muñoz

Overview

In this episode, Selected Shorts goes to the dogs—literally. With the help of three star performers, the show explores humanity’s complex, tender, and sometimes satirical relationship with dogs through three short stories. Host Meg Wolitzer sets the stage by reflecting on her own canine companions, then presides over a program that runs from riotous bureaucracy to fairy tale to poignant realism. Each story, while dog-centered, offers wider insight into the human heart.

Key Discussion Points & Story Summaries

1. Introduction and Reflections on Dogs (00:58–05:12)

• Host Meg Wolitzer welcomes listeners and muses on the powerful and enduring role dogs play in our lives—making us "kinder, less anxious," and filling homes of every size with joy.
• She shares a nostalgic and emotional story of her childhood dachshund, Max.
• Quote (03:40):

  “When I see photos of him, I feel like myself now and myself then at the same time… And if my voice sounds a little choked up right now, well, chalk it up to the indelible paw print that dogs leave behind...” — Meg Wolitzer

2. Emma Brewer’s “Think You Deserve Companionship? Apply to Adopt a Dog Today”

Read by Ana Gasteyer (05:12–09:35)

• Satirical story presented as a mock dog adoption application form.

• Skewers the almost comically invasive and contradictory nature of adopting a rescue dog:

  • Vet references are required, but if you have pets, you're also disqualified.
  • Personality flaws, introspection, and insignificant missteps (returning library books late, buying salad mix and letting it rot) are all cause for scrutiny.
  • The application process is simultaneously self-defeating and emotionally manipulative, ending with the heartbreak of losing out on a dog you’ve already fallen for online.

• Notable Quotes:

  • (05:55):

    “Provide contact information for your veterinarian. If you are not registered with a vet’s office, your application will be discarded unread. Do you currently have pets, or have you recently had pets? If so, your application will be discarded unread.”

  • (07:20):

    “Have you ever said, ‘nice, I’ll check that out’ with the absolute knowledge that you will not at any point check that thing out?”

• Memorable Moments:

  • The mention of the fictional “Tennis Dogs project” (08:20), lampooning bizarre scientific schemes.
  • The hilariously low “Forever Homes applicant acceptance rate is lower than 1%.” (07:40)

3. L. Frank Baum’s “The Glass Dog”

Read by Jeremy Shamos (10:24–24:48)

• Classic fairy tale by the creator of Oz, updated with social satire and irony.

• Story of a wizard who wants a perfect dog—one that never needs to be fed, is clean, loyal, and all-around ideal.

• Enlists a glassblower to craft a pink glass dog, using magic so it barks at unwanted visitors.

• The glassblower negotiates for payment—a magical cure for his rheumatism—but loses his dog to a rich woman, Miss Midas, who trades love for material novelty.

• The story spins a cycle of deals, betrayals, superficial transformations (like magical beauty powder), and ultimately a “be careful what you wish for” lesson.

• Baum pokes sly fun at both desire and social striving, ending with the “prince of dog blowers” becoming beautiful but unhappy in marriage.

• Notable Quotes:

  • (11:20):

    “A good dog. One that will bark at people and drive them away. One that will be no trouble to keep and won't expect to be fed. One that has no fleas and is neat in his habits…” — The Wizard

  • (19:43):

    “I've always wanted a glass dog that could bark. But there is only one in the world.” — Miss Midas

• Key Insights:

  • The story undercuts fairy tale expectations with amusingly transactional characters and wry commentary on perfection, beauty, and love.
  • Host notes afterward: “A classic dog-centric version of ‘Be careful what you wish for—you might get it.’” (24:48)

4. David Means’ “Clementine Carmelita Dog”

Read by Javier Muñoz (28:40–61:59)

• Contemporary story told from the “translated” inner world of a dog, deeply empathetic and sensory.

• Follows the caramel-colored dachshund Clementine as she is lost, found, and adopts a new life (and name, Carmelita) after her original owner Norman’s world is upended by grief over the loss of his partner, Claire.

• Explores dog memory (“not constructed along temporal lines… but… olfactory”), instinct versus human interpretation, and the nuanced reality behind the ‘unconditional love’ myth.

• Clementine must adapt as Norman’s sadness grows and she eventually finds herself taken in by new humans, Steve and Luisa, whose home carries its own “varieties of human grief.”

• The story climaxes with a powerful, almost mystical return to Norman, drawn by scent and memory, before it closes with the dog oscillating between new and old worlds, and dreaming rabbit chases as the perfect union of instinct and joy.

• Notable Quotes:

  • (37:20):

    “Here I should stress that dog memory is not at all like human memory… Dog memory isn’t constructed along temporal lines gridded out along a distorted timeline, but rather in an overlapping and of course deeply olfactory manner…”

  • (61:10):

    “I wish I could make words be dog, get into her coat and paws and belly and ears as she ran…”

• Memorable Moments:

  • The recurring motif of dreams of running and chasing—a translation of canine happiness and longing.
  • The distinction between human trust and canine adaptation (“One or two bits of meat aren't enough to establish a relationship… the human concept of trust had in no way entered the dynamic yet.”) (42:45)
  • The climactic reunion with Norman, joyful yet touched by changed realities. (59:40)

Host Reflections & Closing Thoughts

(Timestamps: 61:59–65:03)

• Host Meg Wolitzer reflects on how the Means story “gives us access to a dog’s deep inner life, her awareness and preferences, and most movingly to me, the way she is made to adapt to a world not of her own making.”
• She contemplates how each story upends the cliché of dogs’ “unconditional love,” revealing instead subtle, mutual conditions and acts of adaption.
• Meg recalls her own dogs, contrasting their personalities and memory styles—childhood Max (playful) and adult Jet (contemplative).
• The episode, she concludes, is “about much more than dogs. They are about us, our tech weary brains, our misguided hearts, our need for completion.” (64:14)

Quotes & Notable Moments

• On the Unique Imprint of Dogs (03:50):

  “That distinctive imprint in sand, in snow, or even in mud on your kitchen floor… speaks of joy, an element that can be scarce until sometimes a dog brings it into our lives.” — Meg Wolitzer

• On Satirical Bureaucracy (07:40):

  “Our Forever Homes applicant acceptance rate is lower than 1%. Are you overthinking the previous question? A tendency towards introspection is not necessarily a quality that we look for in a prospective dog owner.”

• On Fairy Tale Irony (24:30):

  “If there is indeed a cure for the miseries of the world, L. Frank Baum isn’t saying—except, maybe he is, in a way, because stories are… the only thing I know that can reliably transport us from our own lives and turn us into other people, at least for a little while.” — Meg Wolitzer

• On Dog Memory (37:20):

  “Dog memory isn’t constructed along temporal lines gridded out along a distorted timeline, but rather in an overlapping and of course deeply olfactory manner…”

• On the Truth of Canine Love (61:28):

  “This story tests one of the cliches often uttered about dogs, that they offer unconditional love. But here is a dog willing and able to transform herself in order to make two different households happy. And she does ask something in return—so there clearly are conditions. We just can’t always understand them.” — Meg Wolitzer

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Host Introduction & Childhood Dog Memories: 00:58–05:12
• “Think You Deserve Companionship?” by Emma Brewer: 05:12–09:35
• Host Commentary on Brewer: 09:35–10:24
• “The Glass Dog” by L. Frank Baum: 10:24–24:48
• Host Commentary on Baum: 24:48–25:59
• “Clementine Carmelita Dog” by David Means: 28:40–61:59
• Host Reflections & Closing: 61:59–65:03

Episode Tone and Takeaways

• Warm, insightful, humorous, and often moving, the episode balances whimsy with heartbreak.
• The Selected Shorts format shines: each actor’s reading brings stories vibrantly to life; host reflections invite introspection and delight.
• The through-line: Dogs are not just “man’s best friend,” but mirrors and messengers, shaping and reflecting our own longing for companionship, meaning, and joy.

For more stories, visit selectedshorts.org.