← Selected Shorts
Selected Shorts
Too Hot For Radio: Carlos Greaves "Even I, Satan, Am Appalled by the State of the Republican Party"
00:19:58
Since political satire is a type of satire that specializes in gaining entertainment from politics, it's a good time for today's story. And what makes it "too hot?" Well, some people find politics to be the dirtiest word of all. The author of the story is Carlos Greaves. The reader is Jon Cameron Mitchell. The episode is hosted by Aparna Nancherla.
Loading summary
Transcript35 lines
- [00:00]
Aparna Nancherla
It's time to have your High Five moment with High Five Casino, the top social casino where the action and real prizes never stop. Fun spins and big wins are right at your fingertips. With over a thousand games, including High Five Casino exclusives, High Five Casino is always free to play, with free coins given out every four hours. Sign up today for a free welcome offer that can get you spinning and winning right away. Visit high5casino.com high5casino no purchase necessary. Void where prohibited by law. Must be 21 years or older. Terms and conditions apply.
- [00:31]
Carlos Graves
Nobody does selling better than Shopify, home of the number one checkout on the planet. The Shop Pay feature even boosts conversions up to 50%. So if you're into growing your business, your commerce platform better be ready to sell wherever your customers are scrolling or strolling. Upgrade your business and get the same checkout top brands like Allbirds use. Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at shopify.com podcast free. All lowercase go go to shopify.com podcastfree to upgrade your selling today.
- [01:06]
Aparna Nancherla
Muahaha. I'm Aparna Nancherla. This is too hot for radio, and yes, that was the sound of me plotting. Plotting what, you might ask? Your demise? A nuclear attack? The kidnapping of Dalmatian puppies? Wouldn't you like to know? Now, usually too hot listeners think of me as someone happy to trot out stories with too many swears for public radio. They don't, it turns out, associate me with raw, unadulterated villainy. Which is kind of a shame, because evil is not all fascists and Batman baddies. It can be the guy on public transportation with the massive man spread, or the shopper with an overflowing cart that glances at you demurely holding your bottle of water and pack of gum and starts shoveling their mountain of groceries on the conveyor belt. Anyway, maybe they pretend they didn't see you and say, whoops, I'm sorry, but those people are terrible actors and you know they don't mean it. That is evil in my book. Now, on the subject of evil, Satan is one of the biggies as far as tempting souls into hell goes. We think of Satan as a pretty freewheeling, laissez faire kind of dude. You know, if you've got an ugly impulse in you doing donuts on the neighbor's daisies, say we assume Satan is down for that. Presumably he's into all the sin and iniquity he can get. But have you ever considered that maybe even Satan. Satan has his standards that's where this week's story comes in. It's about old Scratch and how the times they are a changin. The first joke is in the title, which I'll leave for our story reader John Cameron Mitchell to disclose. It's worth noting that this story was written and performed in the very recent past, but fascinating to see how quickly things move along. In some ways, the story already feels like a time capsule. In a fascinating way, you'll see what I mean. The author of the story is Carlos Graves. His stories have been featured in the New Yorker and McSweeneys and shorts liked his stories so much we commissioned one from him in 2023. Reading this story is a performer who wrote and starred in Hedwig and the Angry Inch, the Musical and its film adaptation, and has made memorable appearances in series including Girls Shrill and City on Fire. And he continues to follow his passions with projects such as his musical podcast anthem Homunculus. And here I'll sprinkle in our usual content warning to make sure you are prepared Partisan Politics. That's it. Some people find politics to be the dirtiest word of all. Afterwards, stick around as we'll be talking to the author himself. And now, here's John Cameron Mitchell reading a short story by Carlos Graves Even.
- [04:15]
John Cameron Mitchell
I, Satan, am appalled at the state of the Republican Party. These past two weeks have been dark, and I know a thing or two about darkness because I'm the prince of it. And while I enjoy chaos and carnage as much as the next demon, I have to say that this shit show goes beyond what I consider an appropriate amount of insanity. I guess we finally reached the point where even I, Satan, am appalled at the state of the Republican Party. Obviously, this has been a long time coming. Don't get me wrong, nobody has enjoyed watching the Republican Party's gradual slide into moral decrepitude as much as I have a war on drugs that actually made the drug problem way worse. Genius. Using one anecdotal example of welfare fraud to throw millions of people under the economic bus, starting a war to protect US Oil interests that's lasted so long that children born after the war started are now fighting and dying in it. I practically creamed in my Genco jeans. Aside from prosperity gospel evangelical pastors, no group in America has done more to bring me millions of dollars so that I can subject them to an eternity of testicle scorpions and labia paper cuts. But somewhere along the way, this party went from a disciplined, manageable form of malevolence to straight up no holds barred crazy town banana pants. I'm trying to lead a coordinated effort to condemn all of humankind to eons of watching this special edition DVD of National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation to Eddie's Island Adventurer with Randy Quaid scene by scene commentary turned on. How am I supposed to do that if we can't even agree on the fucking facts anymore Lies here and there are good Herbal life two thumbs up the entire consulting industry gold star the notion that life has to have some magical moment where it officially begins. My Ed Hardy trucker, hats off to you, but this QAnon mongering Covid denying Dominion voter fraud peddling insurgency inciting quack fuckery is a bridge too far. This bullshit is making my head spin so fast my wraparound Oakley's about to fly off my face. If our goal is to damn the dead to an afterlife of sitting in the middle seat on a Spirit Airlines flight from Orlando to Las Vegas, then we have to leave this nuttery behind us and get back to the tax cuts and deregulation that have been our bread and buttery. Claiming a presidential election is rigged, but that the down ballot races somehow aren't rigged is evil, sure, but it's also unbelievably dumb, even for me. And I invented pretending to fart. And look, it's one thing to lie to the public about COVID I mean, who do you think bankroll plandemic? But when you, an elected official, won't even abide by health guidelines after dozens of your colleagues have gotten sick? I don't know if I can work with people that are so far down the COVID death cult rabbit hole they make Jonestown look like a day spa. And now Donald Trump is refusing to pay Rudy Giuliani's legal fees. I mean, I'm not even surprised. But still, that's low. I may be the devil, but even I hold up my end of a bargain. If you make a pact with me to get dashing good looks for the rest of your life while a portrait of you kept in the attic gruesomely decays, I will deliver. And sure, after you die you'll be cursed with an infinitum of standing in the middle of the crowd during the Times Square New Year's Eve ball drop the moment everyone around you simultaneously gets a violent case of traveler's diarrhea. But when you sign that paper with your blood ink, you know exactly what you're signing up for, exactly what you'll get in return. Trust me, you know as many lawyers as I do, you Know how to make a contract airtight. Republicans, if you don't get your shit together, we are heading towards the collapse of American democracy and quite possibly all out war. And make no mistake, I hate war. Sure, all the people responsible for the millions of deaths get tormented with Ben Shapiro's audiobook version of Lolita on full volume for all of time, but you know what happens to the millions of innocent people? They go up, not down. So can we please turn away from this world ending stupidity back to regular run of the mill malice. And when your time comes, I say sincerely, look forward to subjecting you all to a perpetual hereafter of listening to any two men discuss film. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go put on some purple camo leg warmers, do a CrossFit workout, and then remind Democrats to keep making hollow gestures of support for social causes. Why? While doing nothing to rectify the root economic injustices.
- [10:25]
Aparna Nancherla
Hi, Carlos. Thanks so much for joining me to talk today.
- [10:29]
Carlos Graves
Hi, Parna. Thanks so much for having me.
- [10:31]
Aparna Nancherla
Of course. We loved your story over here so much. And I guess I'll start by asking about Satan. That feels like the best way to start an interview. What, what makes him so fun to write about, would you say? From a comedic perspective?
- [10:48]
Carlos Graves
Yeah, so for me, when I was writing the piece and trying to kind of think about what point of view to take, like one approach when writing these sorts of short satire pieces for like, me, McSweeney's or the new Yorker is to kind of use a fictional character as a foil for someone in real life. So, like Trump as Sauron or Trump as Darth Vader. And as I was writing the piece, I was trying to think of, like, well, okay, how can I heighten that? Like, what's, what's the most, you know, evil character ever? And yeah, that's. That would be Satan. So I was kind of like, okay, well, maybe I can write it from the point of view of like the most evil, you know, person, entity, you know, whatever, and try to like, write from that point of view as if it's like even the most evil person, even the most evil creature, you know, even the most evil entity ever is like, oh, this is just so stupid. Like, this is, you know, even Satan is disappointed. So that was kind of where the inspiration came from of just trying to write from like the most heightened perspective possible.
- [12:07]
Aparna Nancherla
Yes, yes, it worked beautifully. And it's, of course, a political piece. Do you consider yourself a pretty political person or was this kind of a little bit outside Of. Of your normal.
- [12:19]
Carlos Graves
Yeah, I would say politics is one of my go tos. I just, I am definitely somebody who's followed politics closely always. And I just find myself being very upset all the time about, about, you know, reading about politics and following the news. So that kind of feeling, just like I. That always elicits strong feelings for me and I kind of try to channel that into writing. So, yeah, politics is definitely something I keep coming back to, and it's kind of an endless source of inspiration, especially these days. So.
- [12:55]
Aparna Nancherla
Of course. And it feels like things politically, I mean, everything today moves at lightning speed. It feels like, you know, the Satan in your story could have an entirely new list of things to be outraged about right now. Do you. Is there anything of the moment right now that you'd be like, oh, I would also add that to the story? I mean, there's probably quite a few things.
- [13:19]
Carlos Graves
Yeah, absolutely. So I wrote this piece shortly after January 6th, and I was, at that time, I was thinking, like, oh, wow, we have truly reached peak stupid. And now we're, like, debating whether Democrats control the weather or not. So it's like, oh, yeah, no, it just. It just has kept getting worse and worse. So, yeah, absolutely. I feel like there could be a sequel about that, about, you know, Haitian immigrants eating pets. I mean, just pick. There's any number of even stupider things that have come up in the last couple of years and this election cycle too. So. Yeah.
- [14:00]
Aparna Nancherla
And just to talk about your other job, you are, by day an electrical engineer. Would you say that that line of work at all informs your writing or your pov? Is there? Do you like to keep the two things separate?
- [14:15]
Carlos Graves
Yeah, it's funny. I definitely think having an engineering education and working as an engineer for a long time did inform how I approached writing because I kind of approach it from, like, a very analytical point of view. And I really think about, like, structure the way you, you know, an engineer would think about, like, designing a circuit or designing a building. Like, I think of writing often is like structuring a piece in some of those same terms. So I do feel like it was incredibly valuable to have that background as I started approaching writing.
- [14:54]
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah, and you actually wrote a piece called how to Become a Professional Writer. And in it you make this great analogy where you say, a writing career is not a sprint. It is also not a marathon. A writing career is one of those wilderness survival challenges where they dump you in the woods without a map or a compass or food, and whoever finds their way out wins. How would you Say you're managing this wilderness survival challenge yourself.
- [15:20]
Carlos Graves
Yeah, I mean, I would say I, I still feel deep in the woods right now, but I do think, you know, I'm slowly learning how to build a fire and, and navigate with a compass. So I, I, I feel like I'm slowly finding my way, but it really does feel like that, like there is no roadmap for how to carve out a career in writing or in a lot of creative fields. So, yeah, as I was writing that piece, that was definitely the metaphor that was top of mind. It just feels like you're lost in the wilderness. But, you know, I think I'm, I think I'm doing okay.
- [15:54]
Aparna Nancherla
I think you are too. And I think with a lot of creative fields, you can feel like you're doing okay and then suddenly be like, oh, actually I'm lost again. I don't know where I'm going and I don't know what I did with my therapist. So I think you're doing great. The night that John Cameron Mitchell actually performed this story, you happened to be in the house. What would you say was your experience hearing the story read out loud? Or are you someone who would even want to perform your own material?
- [16:23]
Carlos Graves
Oh my gosh, it was amazing. I am definitely not a performer, so being in the audience for that was perfect because I didn't have to be like anxious about it. I could just sit back and enjoy. And yeah, just hearing the audience's reaction to the piece was incredible because when you write for McSweeney's and, or the New Yorker and you publish something, you get some feedback online, but you really can't beat that feeling of getting that immediate reaction in front of a live audience. So that was really cool.
- [16:55]
Aparna Nancherla
And yes, you've written for the New Yorker and McSweeney's and these are all outlets where, you know, you can do kind of premise driven, kind of shorter pieces. Do you have any ambitions to do like a novel or a longer piece or a book of book of these types of pieces? And, and do you feel pretty committed to comedy overall? Are you kind of hoping to maybe branch out?
- [17:17]
Carlos Graves
Yeah, definitely. So I have written a book called Spoilers essays that might ruin your favorite Hollywood movies, which is a collection of.
- [17:25]
Aparna Nancherla
Oh, great.
- [17:26]
Carlos Graves
Yeah, it's a collection of short humor pieces similar to some of the pieces I've written. They all take place in the universe of different popular movies. So like Star Wars, Jurassic park and all use that as a way to talk about different ongoing social issues. So there was a piece that I wrote for McSweeney's a few years ago about Jurassic park that was like, sure, the velociraptors are still on loose, but that's no reason not to reopen Jurassic Park. That was kind of this, you know, piece connected to everything that's going on with the pandemic. And after that piece did well, I was kind of inspired to think about, well, could I do that for any number of movies and connecting them to different social issues. So. So I've written a whole a book about that and have been working on different projects kind of in that same vein. I'm definitely somebody who's very much influenced by movies and pop culture, and so that informs a lot of my writing.
- [18:29]
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah, that's so funny too, because it reminds me of one of the jokes that really stuck with me in this piece where one of the punishments was hearing two men discuss any film, which I thought was so, so good. And I guess just one more question for you. Our listeners always like to know what our authors are themselves reading. So if you have any suggestions for, you know, other smart satire or really anything that's been exciting you lately.
- [18:57]
Carlos Graves
Yeah, so. Well, in terms of satire, one of my all time favorites is Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. I love the intersection between sci fi and satire because sci fi just gives you that ability to create these fictional worlds that in many ways parallel our own. And, and so that's absolutely one that I highly recommend. And I've been kind of on a sci fi kick in general. I'm currently reading Dune, finding that to be really interesting. And so definitely, definitely Hitchhiker's Guide is a top recommendation for me.
- [19:31]
Aparna Nancherla
Well, that's all the questions I had for you, Carlos. Thank you so much for taking the time for an interview. We really loved your story and I'm so excited to read your book.
- [19:41]
Carlos Graves
Thank you so much. Yeah, it was so great talking to you.
- [19:47]
Aparna Nancherla
And hot heads, that is that. I will confess that while you were listening and completely distracted, I carried out my latest diabolical scheme. Easy. When you've got a sweet face like mine, getting away with it is no problem. What was it, you ask? I never kiss and tell, but let me just say I'm now sitting atop a giant pile of groceries and I stared right into the eyes of a man holding nothing but a protein bar and smiled. Our show is produced by Jennifer Brennan and Mary Shimkin. Our podcast producer and editor is Colleen Pelissier. This episode was recorded at Symphony Space in New York City by Miles B. Smith. Matthew Love is our consulting producer. Our theme song is by Poddington Bear. I'm Aparna Nancherla. Thanks for joining us. For selected shorts Too hot for radio.
- [21:01]
John Cameron Mitchell
High 5 Casino lets you play your.
- [21:03]
Carlos Graves
Favorite slot and live table games like.
- [21:04]
John Cameron Mitchell
Blackjack with the chance to redeem for real cash prizes.
- [21:07]
Carlos Graves
High Five Casino has a giant selection.
- [21:09]
John Cameron Mitchell
Of over 1200 games, including hundreds of exclusive games only found on High Five Casino. It's always free to play and free coins are given out every four hours. Ready to have your own High Five moment?
- [21:20]
Carlos Graves
Visit High fivecasino.
- [21:22]
John Cameron Mitchell
Com. That's high the number five casino. Com. No purchase necessary. Void where prohibited by law. Must be 21 years or older.
- [21:29]
Carlos Graves
Terms and conditions apply.