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TL;DR: Planning a Threesome? Start With Reflection, Not Just Positioning

Threesomes can be thrilling, but successful ones begin with honest, vulnerable conversations, not just lube and logistics.
Don’t treat your third like a guest star in your show, co-create a trio of trust, pleasure, and presence.
Before you play, ask: What excites us? What concerns us? And how will we care for each other after the glow fades?
Avoid unicorn hunting faux pas by checking your couples privilege and ensuring the “third” has just as much voice and choice.
Feeling a wave of insecurity or jealousy? Good, you’re human. Use that as a cue to communicate and connect.
Use tools like the We-Vibe Nova 2 for hands-free dual pleasure or the Mini Wand to warm up or wind down the group vibe.
Ready to elevate the threesome from hot to unforgettable? Try the Womanizer Duo 2 for blended orgasms while one watches, one explores, and one moans their approval.
Most important threesome tool? Your mouth, not for what you do with it, but for what you say with it.

How to Plan a Successful Threesome: Reflect, Prepare & Play Responsibly

In Part II of our threesome discussion, we share questions and prompts to consider before you have a threesome for individuals and couples. We also share some of our listeners’ insights on threesomes and discuss couples privilege.

Threesome Preparation Questions

If you’re looking to ease the tension and enhance pleasure for everyone involved, consider building trust and communication before a single item of clothing comes off.

Whether you’re fantasizing about a spontaneous encounter or planning a luxurious, multi-hour play session, think about how you want all parties to feel seen, safe, and satisfied. And yes, that includes the so-called “third.” This isn’t about plugging someone into your pleasure plan like a puzzle piece. You’re co-creating a shared experience. A new dynamic. A temporary triad.

Threesomes: Self-Questionnaire

Why do you want to have a threesome?
Where did the idea of a threesome come from?
How do you feel about this source?
What benefits do you expect to derive from a threesome?
What are the perceived risks/costs?
With whom would you like to have a threesome?
Do you know if they’re open to it?
How might your relationship with your threesome mates change post-threesome?
What excites you most about a threesome?
What motivates you?
What concerns you about a threesome?
Do you have any hesitations?
What emotional elements of a threesome have you considered?
How will you manage potentially challenging emotions should they arise?
Do you feel comfortable communicating your desires and boundaries?
What conditions increase your comfort level with open communication?
What does your ideal threesome entail?

Consider the setting, relationships, involved parties, sex acts, etc…

Threesomes: Managing Jealousy, Insecurity & Distress

Am I comfortable admitting to feelings of jealousy, insecurity and distress?
I tend to feel jealous/insecure/distressed when…
When I feel jealous/insecure/distressed, it shows up in my body as (emotional presence)
When I feel jealous/insecure/distressed, I want to…
When I feel jealous/insecure/distressed, I can self-soothe by…
When I feel jealous/insecure/distressed, I’d like you to…
When I feel jealous/insecure/distressed, I don’t want you to…
You’ll know when I feel jealous/insecure/distressed when I…
Some other cues to look for include…

Threesomes: Couples’ Questionnaire

Whose idea was it? Do you feel any pressure?
Have you (in)directly pressured your partner?
Why do you/we want to have a threesome?