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Your Inclusive Guide to Pleasure, Consent & Connection

You listened to Part I of our threesome series, and now you’re back for the practical prep. In Part II of our threesome discussion, we share questions and prompts to consider before you have a threesome — for individuals and couples. We also share some of our listeners’ insights on how to prep for a threesome and discuss couples’ privilege. Whether you’re single, partnered, or somewhere in between, use the prompts below to design an experience that feels thoughtful, consensual, and genuinely pleasurable for everyone involved.

(If you missed our conversation with Dr. Justin Lehmiller, circle back for the research on who fantasizes, who follows through, and why the numbers don’t always match.)

When (and IF) you’re considering moving from fantasy to action, check out this post on how to prepare for your first sex party and ease your nerves while maximizing pleasure.

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Threesome Preparation Toolkit

Below are three sets of questions. Reflect on them solo, discuss with partners, or copy-paste into a shared doc. The goal is clarity about desire, boundaries, and after-care.

1. Personal Reflection

Threesomes: Self-Questionnaire

Why do you want to have a threesome?
Where did the idea of a threesome come from? How do you feel about this source?
What benefits do you expect to derive from a threesome?
What are the perceived risks/costs?
With whom would you like to have a threesome? Do you know if they’re open to it?
How might your relationship with your threesome mates change post-threesome?
What excites you most about a threesome? What motivates you?
What concerns you about a threesome? Do you have any hesitations?
What emotional elements of a threesome have you considered?
How will you manage potentially challenging emotions should they arise?
Do you f...

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Your Inclusive Guide to Pleasure, Consent & Connection

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Threesome Preparation Toolkit

1. Personal Reflection