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Narrator
Welcome to Sherlock Holmes Short Stories.
Hugh Bonneville (Narrator/Actor as Sherlock Holmes)
I'm Hugh Bonneville and from the Noiser Podcast Network. This is the Adventure of the Crooked Man, Part two. Last time Holmes and Watson were called to Aldershot, where Colonel James Barclay of the Royal Munsters was found dead following
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a furious quarrel with his wife.
Hugh Bonneville (Narrator/Actor as Sherlock Holmes)
Nancy Barclay now lies in shock, accused of her husband's murder. At some point in the hour and a half before his death, her mood seems to have shifted dramatically. Did she discover a long buried secret about the colonel's military past? At the Barclay residence, Holmes found evidence that a male visitor had been present at the scene of the crime. But he wasn't there alone. Alongside the large footprints were was the mark of some kind of animal, a strange and exotic paw print that even the great detective cannot identify. The paper was covered with the tracings of the footmarks of some small animal. It had five well marked footpads, an indication of long nails, and the whole print might be nearly as large as a dessert spoon. It's a dog, said I. Did you ever hear of a dog running up a curtain? I found distinct traces that this creature had done so. A monkey then. But it is not the print of a monkey. What can it be then? Neither dog nor cat nor monkey, nor any creature that we are familiar with. I have tried to reconstruct it from the measurements. Here are four prints where the beast has been standing motionless. You see that it is no less than 15 inches from forefoot to hind. Add to that the length of neck and head, and you get a creature not much less than 2ft long, probably more, if there is any tail. But now observe this other measurement. The animal has been moving and we have the length of its stride. In each case it is only about 3 inches. You have an indication, you see, of a long body with very short legs attached to it. It has not been considerate enough to leave any of its ha behind it, but its general shape must be what I have indicated, and it can run up a curtain and it is carnivorous. How do you deduce that? Because it ran up the curtain. A canary's cage was hanging in the window and its aim seems to have been to get at the bird. Then what was the beast? If I could give it a name, it might go a long way towards solving the case. On the whole it was probably some creature of the weasel and stoat tribe. And yet it is larger than any of these that I have seen.
Narrator
But what had it to do with the crime?
Hugh Bonneville (Narrator/Actor as Sherlock Holmes)
That also is still obscure. But we have learned a good deal. You perceive? We know that a man stood in the road looking at the quarrel between the Barclays. The blinds were up and the room lighted. We know also that he ran across the lawn, entered the room accompanied by a strange animal, and that he either struck the colonel, or, as is equally possible, that the colonel fell down from sheer fright at the sight of him and cut his head on the corner of the fender. Finally we have the curious fact that the intruder carried away the key with him when he left.
Narrator
Your discoveries seem to have left the
Hugh Bonneville (Narrator/Actor as Sherlock Holmes)
business more obscure than it was before, said I. Quite so. They undoubtedly showed that the affair was much deeper than was at first conjectured. I thought the matter over and I came to the conclusion that I must approach the case from another aspect. But really, Watson, I am keeping you up, and I might just as well tell you all this on our way to Aldershot to Morrow. Thank you. You have gone rather too far to stop. It is quite certain that when Mrs. Barclay left the house at half past seven, she was on good terms with her husband. She was never, as I think I have said, ostentatiously affectionate. But she was heard by the coachman chatting with the Colonel in a friendly fashion. Now it was equally certain that immediately on her return she had gone to the room in which she was least likely to see her husband, had flown to tea as an agitated woman will, and finally, on his coming in to her, had broken into violent recriminations. Therefore something had occurred between 7:30 and 9:00 o', clock, which had completely altered her feelings towards him. But Miss Morrison had been with her during the whole of that hour and a half. It was absolutely certain, therefore, in spite of her denial, that she must know something of the matter. My first conjecture was that possibly there had been some passages between this young lady and the old soldier which the former had now confessed to the wife that would account for the angry return and also for the girl's denial that anything had occurred. Nor would it be entirely incompatible with most of the words overheard. But there was the reference to David, and there was the known affection of the Colonel for his wife to weigh against it, to say nothing of the tragic intrusion of this other man, which might of course be entirely disconnected with what had gone before. It was not easy to pick one's steps, but on the whole I was inclined to dismiss the idea that there had been anything between the Colonel and Miss Morrison, but more than ever convinced that the young lady held the clue as to what it was which had turned Mrs. Barclay to hatred of her husband. I took the obvious course, therefore, of calling upon Miss Morrison, of explaining to her that I was perfectly certain that she held the facts in her possession, and of assuring her that her friend Mrs. Barclay might find herself in the dock upon a capital charge unless the matter were cleared up. Miss Morrison is a little ethereal slip of a girl with timid eyes and blond hair, but I found her by no means wanting in shrewdness and common sense. She sat thinking for some time after I had spoken and then turning to me with a brisk air of resolution, and she broke into a remarkable statement which I will condense for your benefit. I promised my friend that I would say nothing of the matter. And a promise is a promise, said she, but if I can really help her when so serious a charge is laid against her, and when her own mouth, poor darling, is closed by illness, then I think I am absolved from my promise. I will tell you exactly what happened upon Monday evening. We were returning from the Watt Street Mission about a quarter to 9 o'.
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Clock.
Hugh Bonneville (Narrator/Actor as Sherlock Holmes)
On our way we had to pass through Hudson street, which is a very quiet thoroughfare. There is only one lamp in it, upon the left hand side. And as we approached this lamp I saw a man coming towards us with his back very bent and something like a box slung over one of his shoulders. He appeared to be deformed, for he carried his head low and walked with his knees bent. We were passing him when he raised his face to look at us in the circle. Of light thrown by the lamp, and as he did so he stopped and screamed out in a dreadful voice, my God, it's Nancy. Mrs. Barclay turned as white as death and would have fallen down had the dreadful looking creature not caught hold of her. I was going to call for the police, but she, to my surprise, spoke quite civilly to the fellow. I thought you had been dead this 30 years, Henry, said she in a shaking voice.
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So I have said he, and it
Hugh Bonneville (Narrator/Actor as Sherlock Holmes)
was awful to hear the tones that he said it in. He had a very dark, fearsome face and a gleam in his eyes that comes back to me in my dreams. His hair and whiskers were shot with grey and his face was all crinkled and puckered like a withered apple. Just walk on a little way, dear, said Mrs. Barclay. I want to have a word with this man. There is nothing to be afraid of. She tried to speak boldly, but she was still deadly pale and could hardly get her words out for the trembling of her lips. I did as she asked me and they talked together for a few minutes. Then she came down the street with her eyes blazing and I saw the crippled wretch standing by the lamp post and shaking his clenched fists in the air as if he were mad with rage. She never said a word until we were at the door here when she took me by the hand and begged me to tell no one what had happened. It's an old acquaintance of mine who has come down in the world, said she, when I promised her I would say nothing. She kissed me and I have never seen her since. I have told you now the whole truth, and if I withheld it from the police it is because I did not realize then the danger in which my dear friend stood. I know that it can only be to her advantage that everything should be known. There was her statement, Watson, and to me, as you can imagine, it was like a light on a dark night. Everything which had been disconnected before began at once to assume its true place, and I had a shadowy presentiment of the whole sequence of events. My next step, obviously, was to find the man who had produced such a remarkable impression upon Mrs. Barclay. If he was still an aldershot, it should not be a very difficult matter. There are not such a very great number of civilians, and a deformed man was sure to have attracted attention. I spent a day in the search, and by evening, this very evening, Watson, I had run him down. The man's name is Henry Wood, and he lives in lodgings in this same street in which the ladies met him. He has only been five days in the place in the character of a registration agent. I had a most interesting gossip with his landlady. The man is by trade a conjurer and performer, going round the canteens after nightfall and giving a little entertainment at each. He carries some creature about with him in that box about which the landlady seemed to be in considerable trepidation for she had never seen an animal like it. He uses it in some of his tricks according to her account. So much the woman was able to tell me and also that it was a wonder the man lived, seeing how twisted he was and that he spoke in a strange tongue sometimes and that for the last two nights she had heard him groaning and weeping in his bedroom. He was all right as far as money went but in his deposit he had given her what looked like a bad florin. She showed it to me, Watson, and it was an Indian rupee. So now, my dear fellow, you see exactly how we stand and why it is I want you. It is perfectly plain that after the ladies parted from this man he followed them at a distance, that he saw the quarrel between husband and wife through the window, that he that he rushed in and that the creature which he carried in his box got loose. That is all very certain, but he is the only person in this world who can tell us exactly what happened in that room.
Narrator
And you intend to ask him?
Hugh Bonneville (Narrator/Actor as Sherlock Holmes)
Most certainly, but in the presence of a witness and I am the witness. If you will be so. Good. If he can clear the matter up. Well and good. If he refuses we have no alternative but to apply for a warrant. But how do you know he'll be there when we return? You may be sure that I took some precautions. I have one of my Baker street boys mounting guard over him who would stick to him like a burr, go where he might. We shall find him in Hudson street to Morrow, Watson. And meanwhile I should be the criminal myself if I kept you out of bed any longer. It was midday when we found ourselves at the scene of the tragedy and under my companion's guidance we made our way at once to Hudson Street. In spite of his capacity for concealing his emotions I could easily see that Holmes was in a state of suppressed excitement while I was myself tingling with that half sporting, half intellectual pleasure which I invariably experienced when I associated myself
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with him in his investigations.
Hugh Bonneville (Narrator/Actor as Sherlock Holmes)
This is the street, said he as we turned into a short thoroughfare lined with plain two storied brick houses. Ah, here is Simpson to report. He's in all right, Mr. Holmes, cried
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a small boy running up to us.
Hugh Bonneville (Narrator/Actor as Sherlock Holmes)
Good, Simpson, said Holmes, patting him on the head. Come along, Watson, this is the house. He sent in his card with a message that he had come on important business and a moment later we were face to face with the man whom we had come to see.
Narrator
In spite of the warm weather.
Hugh Bonneville (Narrator/Actor as Sherlock Holmes)
He was crouching over a fire and the little room was like an oven. The man sat all twisted and huddled in his chair in a way which gave an indescribable impression of deformity. But the face which he turned towards us, though worn and swarthy, must at some time have been remarkable for its beauty. He looked suspiciously at us now, out of yellow shot bilious eyes, and without speaking or rising, he waved towards two chairs. Mr. Henry Wood, late of India, I believe, said Holmes affably. I've come over this little matter of Colonel Barclay's death.
Narrator
What should I know about that?
Hugh Bonneville (Narrator/Actor as Sherlock Holmes)
That's what I want to ascertain. You know, I suppose that unless the matter is cleared up, Mrs. Barclay, who is an old friend of yours, will in all probability be tried for murder.
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The man gave a violent start. I don't know who you are, he
Hugh Bonneville (Narrator/Actor as Sherlock Holmes)
cried, nor how you come to know
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what you do know, but you will swear that this is true, that you
Hugh Bonneville (Narrator/Actor as Sherlock Holmes)
tell me why they are only waiting for her to come to her senses, to arrest her.
Narrator
My God, are you in the police yourself?
Hugh Bonneville (Narrator/Actor as Sherlock Holmes)
No.
Narrator
What business is it of yours then?
Hugh Bonneville (Narrator/Actor as Sherlock Holmes)
It's every man's business to see justice done.
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You can take my word that she is innocent.
Hugh Bonneville (Narrator/Actor as Sherlock Holmes)
Then you are guilty.
Narrator
No, I am not.
Hugh Bonneville (Narrator/Actor as Sherlock Holmes)
Who killed Colonel James Barclay then?
Narrator
It was a just providence that killed him. But mind you this, that if I had knocked his brains out as it was in my heart to do, he would have had no more than his due from my hands if his own guilty conscience had not struck him down, it is likely enough that I might have had his blood upon my soul. You want me to tell the story? Well I don't know why I shouldn't, for there's no cause for me to be ashamed of. Was in this way, sir. You see me now with my back like a camel and my ribs all awry, but there was a time when Corporal Henry Wood was the smartest man in the 117th Foot. We were in India then in Cantonments at a place we'll call Bhurtee. Barclay, who died the other day, was Sergeant in the same company as myself
Hugh Bonneville (Narrator/Actor as Sherlock Holmes)
and the belle of the regiment, Ay,
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and the finest girl that ever had the breath of life between her lips. Or was Nancy Devoy the daughter of the color sergeant? There were two men that loved her and one that she loved. And you'll smile when you look at this poor thing huddled before the fire and hear me say that it was for my good looks that she loved me well, though I had her heart. Her father was set upon her marrying Barclay. I was a harum scarum, reckless lady, and he had had an education and was already marked for the sword belt. But the girl held true to me and it seemed that I would have had her. When the mutiny broke out and all hell was loose in the country, we were shut up in Bhutti, the regiment of us, with half a battery of artillery, a company of Sikhs and a lot of civilians and women folk. There were 10,000 rebels round us and they were as keen as a set of terriers round a rat cage. About the second week of it, our water gave out and it was a question whether we could communicate with General Neill's column, which was moving up country. It was our only chance, for we could not hope to fight our way out with all the women and children. So I volunteered to go out and to warn General Neill of our danger. My offer was accepted and I talked it over with Sergeant Barclay, who was supposed to know the ground better than any other man, and who drew up a route by which I might get through the rebel lines. At 10 o' clock the same night, I started off upon my journey. There were a thousand lives to save, but it was of only one that I was thinking when I dropped over the wall that night, my way ran down a dried up watercourse which we hoped would screen me from the enemy sentries. But as I crept round the corner of it, I walked right into six of them who were crouching down in the dark waiting for me. In an instant I was stunned with a blow and bound hand and foot. But the real blow was to my heart and not to my head. For as I came to and listened to as much as I could understand of their talk, I heard enough to tell me that my comrade, the very man who had arranged the way that I was to take, had betrayed me by means of a native servant into the hands of the enemy. Well, there's no need for me to dwell on that part of it. You know now what James Barclay was capable of. Bertie was relieved by Neil next day, but the rebels took me away with them in their retreat, and it was many a long year before ever I saw a friendly face Again. I was tortured and tried to get away, and was captured and tortured again. You can see for yourselves the state in which I was left. Some of them that fled into Nepal took me with them, and then afterwards I was up past Darjeeling. The hill folk up there murdered the rebels who had me, and I became their slave for a time until I escaped. But instead of going south, I had to go north, until I found myself among the Afghans. There I wandered about for many a year and at last came back to the Punjab, where I lived mostly among the natives and picked up a living by the conjuring tricks that I had left learned. What use was it for me to go back to England or to make myself known to my old comrades? Even my wish for revenge would not make me do that. I had rather that Nancy and my old pal should think of Harry Wood as having died with a straight back than see him living and crawling with a stick like a chimpanzee. They never doubted that I was dead, and I meant that they never should. I heard that Barclay had married Nancy and that he was rising rapidly in the regiment, but even that did not make me speak. But when one gets old, one has a longing for home. For years I've been dreaming of the bright green fields and the hedges of England. At last I determined to see them before I died. I saved enough to bring me across, and then I came here where the soldiers are, for I know their ways and how to amuse them, and so earn enough to keep me.
Hugh Bonneville (Narrator/Actor as Sherlock Holmes)
Your narrative is most interesting, said Sherlock Holmes. I have already heard of your meeting with Mrs. Barclay and your mutual recognition. You then, as I understand, followed her home and saw through the window an altercation between her husband and her, in which she doubtless cast his conduct to you in his teeth. Your own feelings overcame you and you ran across the lawn and broke in upon them.
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I did, sir, and at the sight of me he looked as I have never seen a man look before, and over he went with his head on the fender, but he was dead before he fell. I read death on his face as plain as I can read that text over the fire. The bare sight of me was like a bullet through his guilty heart.
Hugh Bonneville (Narrator/Actor as Sherlock Holmes)
And then?
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Then Nancy fainted and I caught up the key of the door from her hand, intending to unlock it and get help, but as I was doing it, it seemed to me better to leave it alone and get away, for the thing might look black against me. And anyway, my secret would be out if I were taken. In my haste I thrust the key into my pocket and dropped my stick while I was chasing Teddy, who had run up the curtain. When I got him into his box from which he had slipped, I was off as fast as I could run.
Hugh Bonneville (Narrator/Actor as Sherlock Holmes)
Who's Teddy?
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Asked Holmes.
Hugh Bonneville (Narrator/Actor as Sherlock Holmes)
The man leaned over and pulled up
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the front of a kind of hutch in the corner.
Hugh Bonneville (Narrator/Actor as Sherlock Holmes)
In an instant, out there slipped a beautiful reddish brown creature, thin and lithe, with the legs of a stoat, a long thin nose and a pair of the finest red eyes that ever I
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saw in an animal's head.
Hugh Bonneville (Narrator/Actor as Sherlock Holmes)
It's a mongoose. I cried.
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Well, some call them that and some call them ichneumon, said the man. Snake catcher is what I call them. And Teddy is amazing quick on cobras. I have one here without the fangs, and Teddy catches it every night to please the folk in the canteen.
Hugh Bonneville (Narrator/Actor as Sherlock Holmes)
We may have to apply to you again if Mrs. Buckley should prove to be in serious trouble.
Narrator
In that case, of course I'd come forward.
Hugh Bonneville (Narrator/Actor as Sherlock Holmes)
But if not, there is no object in raking up this scandal against a dead man. Foully as he has acted, you have at least the satisfaction of knowing that for 30 years of his life his conscience bitterly reproached him for this wicked deed. Ah, there goes Major Murphy on the other side of the street. Goodbye, Wood. I want to learn if anything has happened since yesterday. We were in time to overtake the
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Major before he reached the corner.
Hugh Bonneville (Narrator/Actor as Sherlock Holmes)
Ah, Holmes, he said, I suppose you've heard that all this fuss has come to nothing. What then? The inquest is just over. The medical evidence showed conclusively that death was due to apoplexy. You see, it was quite a simple case after all. Oh, remarkably superficial, said Holmes, smiling. Come, Watson, I don't think we shall be wanted in Aldershot anymore. There's one thing, said I as we
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walked down to the station.
Hugh Bonneville (Narrator/Actor as Sherlock Holmes)
If the husband's name was James and the other was Henry, what was this talk about David? That one word, my dear Watson, should have told me the whole story had I been the ideal reasoner which you are so fond of depicting. It was evidently a term of reproach.
Narrator
Of reproach?
Hugh Bonneville (Narrator/Actor as Sherlock Holmes)
Yes. David strayed a little occasionally, you know, and on one occasion in the same direction as Sergeant James Barclay. You remember the Small Affair of Uriah and Bathsheba? My biblical knowledge is a trifle rusty, I fear, but you will find the story in the first or second of Samuel.
Narrator
Next time on Sherlock Holmes Short Stories.
Hugh Bonneville (Narrator/Actor as Sherlock Holmes)
The great detective is visited by a heartbroken woman in a case of identity, Mary Sutherland's fiance has vanished on the very morning they were due to be married? Has her beloved jilted her at the
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altar or met a sudden unfortunate end?
Hugh Bonneville (Narrator/Actor as Sherlock Holmes)
And could the truth be lurking closer to home than she thinks?
Narrator
That's next time.
Hugh Bonneville (Narrator/Actor as Sherlock Holmes)
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Host/Narrator: Hugh Bonneville (as Sherlock Holmes)
Production: NOISER
Date: February 26, 2026
This episode concludes "The Adventure of the Crooked Man," following Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson as they unravel the mysterious death of Colonel James Barclay. The investigation pivots on a shocking encounter from the Colonel’s past, cryptic animal tracks, and a long-buried secret, ultimately revealing both the mechanism and motive behind the tragedy.
The narrative is rich, atmospheric, and suspenseful, blending deductive reasoning with human drama. Hugh Bonneville’s narration is calm, precise, and evocative, in character as Holmes, and brings emotional resonance to the climactic confession and resolution.
This is a classic Holmes mystery, solved through astute observation, psychological insight, and moral depth. The episode reveals how secrets and betrayals from decades past can resurface with tragic consequences—and how Holmes’ compassion tempers his pursuit of justice.
End of summary.