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Mick Peterson
Ruby,
Bill Lyons
see, those are tricks. Those aren't boyfriends.
Robert Briefs
Yes, young people go to bars these days, but they go to bars to socialize. And then they go home and they get on the Internet to pick somebody up.
Mick Peterson
I just look at their crotch, and they look at mine.
Bill Lyons
From just beyond the lights of Los Angeles and steamy Palm Springs, California.
Jesse Martin
It's Mick, Robert, Bill.
Bill Lyons
Just say, and this is Silver linings
Mick Peterson
with the old days.
Robert Briefs
Well, hello again, lovers.
Mick Peterson
Bill.
Jesse Martin
Are you feeling frisky?
Bill Lyons
That can only mean one thing, and I'm already blushing.
Robert Briefs
Today's episode is about first crushes. Romance, heartbreak, and relationships and flirting back
Bill Lyons
when it required nerve eye contact and a decent mustache.
Mick Peterson
Growing up, gay crushes weren't exactly simple.
Jesse Martin
Half the time, you didn't know what you were feeling.
Bill Lyons
You just knew. Your stomach flipped when a certain someone walked by.
Robert Briefs
And you tried very hard not to stare in the locker room.
Jesse Martin
Speak for yourself.
Robert Briefs
I am.
Mick Peterson
When we got started, there were no
Robert Briefs
apps, no swiping lip, no profile pictures,
Bill Lyons
just vibes and energy irl.
Mick Peterson
So today we're going back to secret
Jesse Martin
crushes, important relationships, and the first time we dared to say the word boyfriend out loud.
Bill Lyons
So turn on your gaydar.
Mick Peterson
Silver Linings begins now.
Bill Lyons
To kick things off, who here remembers their very first crush?
Robert Briefs
Well, my first crush was a guy by name of Roger. And I was working in a men's store when I was in high school. I worked 20 hours a week, and Roger started coming into the store quite often. And I walked to work from my house. So he started asking me if I'd like a ride home.
Mick Peterson
You took rides from strangers?
Robert Briefs
Well, we talked about four or five times. He was my age, and so I didn't see anything wrong with that.
Jesse Martin
And
Robert Briefs
I didn't really know what to think of him. I thought there was something there, but I didn't know. And one night he'd pulled into the driveway. We were just sitting there talking. We were out of sight of the house and that. And when he said goodbye to me, he leaned over and he kissed me on the ear.
Mick Peterson
Oh, and I stick his tongue in your ear.
Robert Briefs
No, no tongue.
Mick Peterson
Fun is that.
Bill Lyons
And
Robert Briefs
I was so confused. I mean, I knew I was gay and I was out and I had had had sex with other men, but I was just completely taken back. And we saw each other as much as we could. In fact, one weekend we took off and up to San Francisco and just had the greatest time up there. I mean, we were both underage, but in San Francisco in those days, they didn't care how old you were to serve you a drink. And we just had an absolutely marvelous time. So that was my first crush.
Jesse Martin
My first crush was when I was in the seventh grade. Annie Campbel Junior High School Jonesboro, Arkansas I remember it very vividly. But this new boy moved to town, Billy Earl Keith. And I just thought he was so dreamy. I would just stare at him whenever he would enter a room. And he was real popular with girls and the cheerleaders and all of that. And somehow I invited him over to the house one weekend for a sleepover. And it was Friday night because Saturday was the busy day at the store, because all the farmers would come into town to do their shopping. And so my mom, dad and two brothers would go and work at the shop. And I was left alone with Billy Earl. And in the morning we woke up and I remember asking him, what's it like kissing the cheerleaders? And he said, here, let me show you. And he planted a big kiss on my lips that I remember to this day. Day. And then we kind of tousled about in the bed for probably about an hour. And so what did you do? Well, keep in mind seventh grade, that's around 12 years old. And you know, things are changing. And being the first and having never seen porn or anything at that time, I didn't have too much instruction.
Bill Lyons
Good.
Jesse Martin
So it was very exploratory.
Bill Lyons
How fun.
Robert Briefs
And did you continue to see him after that? I would.
Jesse Martin
We would get together periodically after that. Yeah.
Mick Peterson
What did you explore?
Jesse Martin
Well, we explored each other's crevices.
Mick Peterson
Oh, come on, Ruth, don't play around. Oh, my goodness. Who are we kidding? Rita?
Bill Lyons
That just ruined the whole thing.
Mick Peterson
Jesse, what about you? We've had enough of him.
Bill Lyons
My first crush was my cousin's boyfriend. His name was Cephas. He was the most handsome jet black man with this perfect body. And I would go lay my head on his lap, but I would turn my face down and nobody knew what was going on. And I can't believe now, looking back at it, I go, dang. I was real small when that happened. So I was out to myself early. We just had to play the games with the rest of the world and date everybody, the women, which was sad. But Cephas was what a man. What a mighty good man he was. So that was it. One time in the crotch and then up.
Mick Peterson
That reminds me of a story. Mark was my next door neighbor. He was four years older than I was. So this probably was in the summer that he. Between his junior and senior year in high school and wherever I was, seventh and eighth grade, well, he taught me how to suck cock. And then he also taught me how to differentiate between guys who did what we did and guys who didn't, and that you really had to, you know, kind of suss your way there. And so, in a lot of ways, Mark was not only my first crush as well, but he also was a mentor.
Bill Lyons
And.
Mick Peterson
And I find now, looking back, that these are the type of people that I have let into my life, because each time I've been in a relationship in which I've really developed a crush on somebody, that it's been a lasting impact. And they've always invited me something about the truth about their selves. And so I'm always interested in learning more. And I guess that's where it started from.
Bill Lyons
And so it is.
Jesse Martin
I can remember other crushes. John Haftner, he was on the football team and had a real nice, compact, muscular body. And I was taking drawing lessons at the time. And so I managed to get him to come over one day to pose for figure drawing for me. And he took off all his clothes except for his underwear, and I drew him. But sadly, he brought a friend along with him to make sure that nothing happened.
Bill Lyons
Smart guy. He couldn't handle you by himself.
Jesse Martin
No, I think he did.
Robert Briefs
He know.
Jesse Martin
Figured it out. They said, this isn't going beyond drawing.
Robert Briefs
What's one significant romantic or sexual experience you had in your early years that you will always remember, Mark?
Mick Peterson
Oh, did you? People can't see, but the guy, Bob, just licked his lips, and then he said, mark.
Jesse Martin
Well, this was soon after I had moved to San Francisco. I moved there in 1980 and lived in one place for a few months. And then me and my roommates moved to another place, which was just a few blocks away from Buena Vista park in San Francisco, which was notorious for gay cruising. And one day I was walking with my dog through a path that cut through the bushes and came into a clearing. And in the middle of the clearing was this beautiful blond young man who was sunning himself and a very skimpy bathing suit. And he stared up at me with his big blue eyes, and we struck a conversation, and he went with me down to the house, and we had a really nice time.
Mick Peterson
You left the dog at the park?
Jesse Martin
No, the dog came with.
Mick Peterson
You are so cruel, Bob.
Jesse Martin
But anyway, well, that was a very memorable day.
Bill Lyons
And you. And you remember it?
Jesse Martin
Oh, yeah. Somehow I remember it
Robert Briefs
well, when I was living in Laguna beach when I was 20 years old. My mom, she'd take the family down to the beach every summer for a week. And she asked me to go and find a house for us. And so I went down and into a real estate office and a realtor. His name was John. He helped me. And then he sent me out with one of his workers to find a house. We found it. I came back and he said, you know, stop by for coffee anytime you want. And I didn't take him up on it. I mean, he was 45 and I was 20 years old.
Bill Lyons
Perfect.
Robert Briefs
And during that summer, when my mom was down there, a friend of mine invited me to a party. And John was there. And John invited me out to dinner the next night, and I said, okay. And we went to the Berkshires in Newport Beach. And we started off with shrimp cocktails, then Chateaubriand, then a Grand Marnier souffle. And John was literally trying to win my heart over by just lavishing, you know, gifts and clothes. I was about to go to Orange Coast College for the semester, so we flew to San Francisco and bought my new school clothes at cable Car Clothes.
Mick Peterson
You remember all this stuff, Bill?
Bill Lyons
He remembers everything before Jesus came.
Mick Peterson
Where was the Berkshires? In Newport.
Robert Briefs
It was right across from the Arches.
Mick Peterson
Oh, sure.
Robert Briefs
And then John started to not really pay much attention to business. He was too busy with me. We were having a great time. And eventually we decided that it just wasn't working out. Why? There wasn't really any love on my part or was someone who was just adoring me with things, sort of.
Mick Peterson
And what's wrong with that?
Bill Lyons
He ran out of money.
Mick Peterson
I mean, 45 and 20. You kind of get the feeling that, you know he's going to shower you,
Bill Lyons
trying to buy you.
Robert Briefs
Yeah, but what you say was really true. He did run out of money.
Bill Lyons
And I. Yeah, because you wasn't cheap, were you, Bill?
Mick Peterson
It's like the old song. You had a lot of money. 19, 29, you sunk it in the market or you are such a swine why don't you do right like some other men do? Get me some money and I'll see you real soon. Is that what you just little gold digger you at 20?
Robert Briefs
I wasn't trying to be a gold digger, but that was just an experience that I had. And one thing it really taught me, because I didn't have any money myself, was all of a sudden I was absolutely broken. And I learned very quickly that you have to have your own money to be a person. You just can't have it slathered on You.
Bill Lyons
Okay, I'll go next, if you don't mind.
Mick Peterson
Oh, dude.
Bill Lyons
My very first time experiencing what I'd been looking for, love was when I was at the Parliament House Hotel in Orlando. I'm standing there with my roommate from college, and I hear this yummy voice over me asking me to dance. And I turn around and look up to this handsome man, Samuel Coleman Washington iii. And we danced. And then I went home with him, and he went to work the next day, and I cleaned his house and emptied out all the pot because I didn't know weed was really weed. And. And he comes home and has a heart attack. But we. We dated for five awesome years. Unfortunately, drugs is what separated us because he was vice president of a bank and doing really well, and the drugs just took over. And it was sad because I really loved him, but we had some wonderful times. That I am forever indebted for him in introducing true love to me. What I was expecting from it, I mean, as our relationship grew and he cleared up. But what an amazing man. And it's sad that his life ended so early because we'd probably still be dating if he were living.
Jesse Martin
So sad.
Bill Lyons
It is. It is. Because he was truly a. He was good to me. Good to me.
Jesse Martin
Yeah.
Mick Peterson
I do have another one. I think it was my senior year in college. I came out. But before I did, I went to see a psychologist, a gay psychologist up in Minneapolis. And he's a very handsome man. And he kind of cleared up some misconceptions I had about gay people. And then he. Which you're not supposed to do. He invited me out for dinner, and then he took me home and he taught me some more. What things to do. And I have to say, he also had a lover who evidently found out about this date that he was having and came over the next morning.
Bill Lyons
I love it.
Mick Peterson
Oh, it was the first time I was treated to that kind of scene. I was growing up fast. But I have to tell you, this guy was hot sex. And I remember that one. I don't remember his name, but I remember him.
Robert Briefs
You went to the psychologist on your own? Your parents didn't send you?
Mick Peterson
No, no, my parents didn't say, oh, no. They wouldn't have sent me to a gay psychologist.
Bill Lyons
For real.
Mick Peterson
This guy brought me out. Well, moving on. What are your earliest memories of flirting?
Robert Briefs
I kind of didn't think I flirted, but everyone else thought I did.
Jesse Martin
Yeah, sometimes you don't know when you're flirting.
Robert Briefs
Exactly, exactly.
Jesse Martin
It's kind of an unconscious reaction to Someone you're attracted to and you don't know? No.
Bill Lyons
Wow.
Mick Peterson
It wouldn't be unconscious. It would be your subconscious.
Jesse Martin
I just become overly friendly.
Bill Lyons
Okay.
Mick Peterson
You just say.
Bill Lyons
I just get giddy, giddy, giddy, and I get quiet. Surprisingly. I know it's hard for y' all to believe.
Mick Peterson
I guess the first time I actually understood what the word flirting meant was I did it unconsciously. It was in the eighth grade. And I looked around to the room. There was a kid in the other room. His name was Scott, and he was billed kid and really wild one. He was the first one who took his middle finger, blew me a kiss. Shut up. And he did it at that point in the eighth grade. And then he called me a dirty old man. And I just. In eighth grade, I just. Well, first of all, I thought, how does he know that? And to this day, I keep looking for him, but I can never find him.
Bill Lyons
He put the finger in the wrong hole.
Mick Peterson
Maybe if Scott is listening out there, he knows, you know, look me up, call me. Usually when I think it is, you're not even aware that you're flirting. And somebody calls you out on it.
Jesse Martin
Yeah. And that's when it becomes embarrassing.
Bill Lyons
I can't imagine you flirting.
Mick Peterson
No. Bob is not a flirt.
Bill Lyons
I know.
Mick Peterson
Bill I could see as a flirt.
Bill Lyons
Bill's a tease. Yeah.
Jesse Martin
It kind of a refined art.
Robert Briefs
Well, I think where I got my flirting was basically working in a men's store. Because you are flirting with your customers.
Mick Peterson
Absolutely. Can I interest you in a jockstrap? Didn't you ever say that at the store?
Bill Lyons
Sure.
Mick Peterson
You haven't picked up your jock strap yet.
Robert Briefs
No. But I did wait on two guys, and they were looking for bathing suits. So I looked up and I showed them, you know, a surfer bathing suit. You know, like you do hang 10 on that.
Bill Lyons
Yeah.
Robert Briefs
And they said to me, well, where do you put your jewels? What they were talking about?
Mick Peterson
They weren't family jewels. Yeah. Yeah. That's very telling.
Bill Lyons
The shrink. Em.
Mick Peterson
60s family.
Robert Briefs
That's exactly when it was.
Mick Peterson
Yeah. 60s, yeah. Now we refer to it as your junk.
Robert Briefs
Yeah. Yeah.
Bill Lyons
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Mick Peterson
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Jesse Martin
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Robert Briefs
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Bill Lyons
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Mick Peterson
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Robert Briefs
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Jesse Martin
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Mick Peterson
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Jesse Martin
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Robert Briefs
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Mick Peterson
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Bill Lyons
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Jesse Martin
What's the most embarrassing flirt moment that you can remember?
Mick Peterson
The only time I've ever had an embarrassing flirt is when I run into the door. You know, when you kind of give a person, oh, I've done it in the supermarket. I've done it like at Gelson's in, in West Hollywood. I would be in a little card. Like we look over there and I just run over a display. I have done that. I have done that.
Bill Lyons
Okay.
Jesse Martin
And do you get a reaction from the flirty?
Mick Peterson
Sometimes. Or sometimes they go, oh, walk away. Can't be seen near him. He's crazy. You know, hot, but he's crazy.
Robert Briefs
Now it's time for my current addiction.
Mick Peterson
Hello, I'm Mick and my current addiction are vascular 26 inch thighs because they lead up to a vascular 9 inches. That's my current addiction.
Jesse Martin
I can't think of anything I'd call an addiction.
Robert Briefs
What about smoking weed?
Jesse Martin
Yeah, well, smoking pot is a lifelong endeavor.
Mick Peterson
I wouldn't say smoking pot is an addiction.
Jesse Martin
I would. It's not.
Mick Peterson
No, it's a vocation.
Jesse Martin
It's a necessity.
Mick Peterson
There you have it.
Bill Lyons
Okay, before apps, how'd you know someone was gay?
Robert Briefs
For me, it was always, you glanced at someone, but it was more than a glance. It was like taking a second look at them. And that's how I discovered if someone was gay.
Jesse Martin
It's called gaydar.
Mick Peterson
Well, gaydar would be sonar, because eye contact is eye contact. It's visual.
Jesse Martin
Yeah, maybe I'm just speaking for myself, but, you know, you just get this sense looking at someone, and if you study them for any length of time, you just pick up on nuances. And I just think I instinctively, collectively know that that person's gay.
Mick Peterson
Well, I usually am. Of the opinion. Well, I'm not sure. So it's always eye contact, as Bill says. And, you know, the eyes are the mirrors of the soul, and you get. You get a feeling that somebody is really interested, and then you kind of cozy up to that person, and, you know, and then before you know it, you're kissing. It's instinctual. Part of it is risk, because you don't know, but you have to. In doing so, you have opened yourself up, you know, and, you know, that's part of dating, is that, you know, chances are it's not gonna end well. Even if you've, you know, had 10, 20 dates, most of these things, we've all had them in our gay lives, are not very long.
Bill Lyons
And I just look at people, and I don't look away. I don't say anything, but I'll just smile at you while you're going.
Jesse Martin
What will break the ice and cause you to say something to the person? Do they have to speak first? They wink at you.
Bill Lyons
I wink at them.
Mick Peterson
You wink at them.
Bill Lyons
But I still don't say anything.
Jesse Martin
I've never winked at someone.
Mick Peterson
I just look at their crotch and they look at mine.
Bill Lyons
Do you remember saying the word boyfriend for the first time? And was it a big deal?
Jesse Martin
It would have been college year, minus after.
Mick Peterson
No, I never really.
Bill Lyons
Back in the day, we didn't do that. No, no, we just prayed and went on to the next prayer.
Jesse Martin
We just went about our business.
Mick Peterson
I think it was because something had to do with straight girls in high school, and you kind of went, ugh, I don't want a boyfriend.
Robert Briefs
Boyfriends are something you have between lovers.
Jesse Martin
Kind of like an appetizer, an intermezzo.
Bill Lyons
Oh, see, those are tricks. Those aren't boyfriends.
Jesse Martin
How many dates does it take to be a boyfriend?
Bill Lyons
Sometimes one.
Mick Peterson
Let's Hear from Bill. He's the authority on it.
Robert Briefs
No, I. I would say three.
Jesse Martin
Three dates.
Robert Briefs
I'm easy.
Jesse Martin
And now a short word from Mick. Mick, what are your tips on dating for a gay man who's just starting out?
Mick Peterson
Go with what you like. If you're going to pick somebody up, do it in a safe place. But you have to be really attracted to that person. And if you're just coming out, then you're gonna look for somebody who has a little more experience than you, probably a lot more experience than you, because you're gonna have to learn something, and that's how you start. But you kind of have to look for the right person. Not somebody who's going to, like, abuse you or somebody who's going to take advantage of you. Because there's a lot of that in the gay community, particularly with. With predators. And they're not necessarily older men. They can be much younger. That's the advice I was getting. Plus, also, read the Joy of Gay Sex or start watching as much porn as possible.
Bill Lyons
I do.
Robert Briefs
Are you dating now? Why or why not? And what does dating look like to you now?
Jesse Martin
I am not dating. I feel like right now, at this point in my life, my life is so full. If I date someone, I feel an obligation to spend a certain amount of time with that person. And right now, I don't feel like I have that time to spend.
Bill Lyons
You don't. Neither do I. I would say that
Mick Peterson
I don't think dating as we used to see it exists anymore for people our age. No.
Jesse Martin
Anybody.
Mick Peterson
Today. Today's dating scene. If you go on the dating scene, to me, it's. You work on getting together with a guy, and then maybe or maybe not, it'll happen. And so you kind of have a. You have to take a more objective stance. You can't be subjected. You have to say, well, it didn't work out like the last time with
Bill Lyons
the dating now, there's so many stories that are made up, and I ask a lot more questions of people now. Main thing is, I say is, I need to see your face. That's where it starts. Because a body could be anybody's body, but I want to make sure you're connected to that name that you're coming from. For me, then that's why I like facetiming, because of all the AI and the fake stuff. And I tell him, I says, I don't have time.
Jesse Martin
Yeah, gosh, when you think about it, today is so different than when we were growing up.
Robert Briefs
I mean, we went on actual Dates,
Mick Peterson
they used to call those dinner dates.
Robert Briefs
Yeah. And they were.
Mick Peterson
Or you were invited. Somebody said, well, I'm going to take you to friends for dinner. I'd like you to meet them. Or something like that. That's sort of the social seen in Hollywood. And so I can tell you the number of dinners I've gone to.
Robert Briefs
I remember in the 60s and the 70s, the main way that I went out to pick up people was bars.
Jesse Martin
Yeah.
Robert Briefs
That was the mainstay. And the beauty of that, you could. They were right in front of you. You could tell that they were real and they talked to you and you could find out in a nanosecond whether this is going to work or not.
Jesse Martin
Yeah.
Robert Briefs
But I mean, that was my whole. I mean, I hate to admit that my whole time picking up people was just going to bars, but that's the way it was.
Bill Lyons
But it was wonderful. We didn't have all the Internet mess.
Jesse Martin
Right.
Robert Briefs
Exactly.
Mick Peterson
Except that, you know, I'll argue the other side just to point out the fact that, you know, when you're, you're, you're like on one of the apps and you know, you're free to ask how big is your dick? You know, and then they'll usually send you a picture next to a beer can. So, you know, you can relate.
Robert Briefs
And I think another thing that's really changed is yes, young people go to bars these days, but they go to bars to socialize and then they go home and they get on the Internet to pick somebody up and make sure
Bill Lyons
you look like that pictured. That's all I say.
Mick Peterson
Yeah.
Bill Lyons
But I love being honest about the age thing because when I was the younger one, I always wanted to see the person because the age didn't bother me. It was just like, do you look your age? I just wanted that honesty of. Is this what you look like today? Because that looks like an old black and white picture that was touched up. Give me the face. And my thing is. Do you like to make out? I'm a make out freak, so gotta have lips. And then
Mick Peterson
usually I just kind of snuggle up to the guy.
Robert Briefs
I was gonna say cuddle.
Mick Peterson
I wasn't very snuggle. I just kind of bring myself up and see if their lips meet mine. And then we get started. See, we go right for kissy face. Yeah. I don't go for embracing and things. That comes later.
Bill Lyons
Yeah. It follows in order.
Mick Peterson
Yeah. To plant that kiss. Even if it's a French one.
Robert Briefs
Even.
Mick Peterson
Oh, even if it's a French one. That's Even better if it's a French kiss, right away.
Jesse Martin
If it's a French one.
Mick Peterson
Or they kind of just wet your entire mouth with their tongue. And then they go for your face. Oh, yeah, eat your chin. I'll go for your neck and eyes.
Robert Briefs
But then there's the bad ones that their mouths are like, oh, the heart. You go, you expecting this romantic kiss?
Jesse Martin
And then you just go, bye, bye, bye bye. And then the tongue comes out and the licking starts.
Mick Peterson
Oh, well, you know.
Jesse Martin
Anyways, what has surprised you or changed your perspective about long term relationships as you've gotten older?
Bill Lyons
I don't have one,
Jesse Martin
Bill.
Robert Briefs
I've learned that they don't work.
Jesse Martin
Really? Why haven't you had long term relationships?
Robert Briefs
Yes, but my last one ended up on such a sour note that it's just soured me for the entire relationship thing. I've been. I've had two long term relationships. One for five years and one for 16 years. And the way they've ended, I've been single now for 30 years.
Mick Peterson
Yeah, I've had, I guess you could say, three extensive relationships. The longest one was in the middle and that was for 25 years. My perspective since that time, it's a lot of work. You gotta know more about the person before you jump in because things don't always appear to what they first seem to be. And you gotta understand that the person opposite from you is coming from who knows where and that they've got their own issues in life and that what happens is their issues become your issues, your issues become his. And you have to start working it out together. And that can take a long time. And honestly, I haven't really looked for one, especially now since I've had to deal in the last 10 years with a chronic illness. The most important person right now is me. I have to take care of me. Because if I don't take care of me, how can I be of any, any enjoyment from another person? So I look at relationships now differently and that it doesn't necessarily have to be a relationship that lasts in years. It can last just a few weeks. It's fine with me. You know, if you're looking for a long term relationship, what I would recommend get a dog.
Jesse Martin
Yes.
Mick Peterson
Because a dog's love is unconditional.
Jesse Martin
Yes.
Mick Peterson
And just remember that to them you are the most important thing in their life. That's why they follow you into the bathroom. They want to be with you all the time. They love you and they are so keyed into your emotions that you don't even Realize how intelligent they are and, you know, also understand that you will outlive them. So there is going to be grief. But that's the way it is in all relationships. All relationships at some point end, whether through death or whether when you just say it's time to call it a day.
Bill Lyons
Yep, it's true. That's real good, Mick. Yeah, really good. Sober, real.
Mick Peterson
Yeah. But you know, I'm also a slut. Just remember that.
Bill Lyons
Oh, no, we haven't forgotten that part.
Jesse Martin
That's an important part.
Robert Briefs
My relationship, my long term was all I really wanted was someone to grow old with and trust. And when that trust broke in that last year that we were together, it just pulled the rug out from underneath me and put relationships on the bottom of my list.
Jesse Martin
I think as we get older, we find that our extended families replace part of what we're looking for in a long term relationship.
Bill Lyons
Never lose the friendship connection because they're your family. That's going to be there if you get slapped in the face and beat down. So to conclude, what, what would you say is the silver lining about crushes, romance and partnerships in the world today?
Mick Peterson
I would say have them. Have them as much as possible. Whether it's great or whether it's bad. You might have a little bit of fun and like I said, you may learn something.
Robert Briefs
And I say go for it. Enjoy the crushes, enjoy the relationships, but just know that it might come to an end. But these are the things that really make life great for us. These are the up parts to me for our life. So don't try to avoid them. Jump in and have as much fun as you can.
Jesse Martin
I suck at that. Yes. And having been through a lot over the course of our lives, we kind of know what to expect and we can empathize with younger people who are facing issues as they're growing up and we can become their mentors.
Bill Lyons
I'm one of the young people. I'm claiming it still.
Jesse Martin
Oh, okay.
Robert Briefs
Silver Linings is a production of iHeart's Ruby Studios and the the Outspoken Network. We're your hosts, Bill Lyons, Robert Briefs,
Bill Lyons
Mick Peterson and Jesse Martin. Our executive producer is Sierra Kaiser, supervising producer Kelly Kyle Story production, Ryan Amador with post production by Eric Zeiler. See you in two weeks.
Robert Briefs
My whole outlook towards religion was through their art and music.
Jesse Martin
To this day, I believe that bird was an angel.
Bill Lyons
The big people up in the pulpit, they're human too.
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This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.
Released: May 26, 2026
Hosts: Robert Reeves (“Robert Briefs”), Jessay Martin, Bill Lyons, and Michael “Mick” Peterson
In this candid and nostalgic episode, The Old Gays reminisce about what romance and dating looked like before the era of dating apps. Through hilarious and touching stories, they reflect on first crushes, heartbreaks, secret codes of queer attraction, changing expectations in relationships, and how the world of gay romance has shifted over decades. The episode’s tone is playful, unapologetically frank, and rich with personal wisdom gleaned from navigating love long before swipes, likes, and selfies.
The discussion is unfiltered but affectionate—funny, raunchy, sometimes wistful, and always wise. The Old Gays champion living boldly and loving again and again. While the means of finding connection have changed, the need for courage, self-knowledge, and chosen family remains timeless.
For more from The Old Gays, listen every other week on Silver Linings.