Silver Linings with The Old Gays

Episode: Sex in Perspective: “ It's like every weekend there's fresh meat.”
Release Date: May 27, 2025
Host/Hosts: Robert Reeves, Jessay Martin, Bill Lyons, and Michael "Mick" Peterson
Produced by: iHeartPodcasts

Introduction

In this candid and engaging episode of Silver Linings with The Old Gays, hosts Robert Reeves, Jessay Martin, Bill Lyons, and Mick Peterson delve deep into the multifaceted world of sex and relationships within the LGBTQ+ community. Drawing from their extensive personal experiences, they explore everything from cruising and bathhouses to the evolving landscape of online dating, all while offering humor, wisdom, and heartfelt insights.

Exploring Diverse Relationships

The conversation kicks off with a reflection on the varied nature of relationships among older gay men. Bill Lyons emphasizes the diversity, stating, “When it comes to sex and relationships, you can imagine our lives have been filled with many salacious stories and sweet romances. But relationships come in many shapes and sizes, especially in the life of an old gay” ([01:18]). This sets the tone for a discussion that acknowledges both the vibrant and the nuanced aspects of their romantic lives.

Cruising and Bathhouse Experiences

Cruise Ships:
Jessay Martin shares his experiences on cruise ships, highlighting the lively and often unpredictable nature of these voyages. “Cruises, life begins after midnight, especially for the entertainers on ship, the crew...” ([02:37]), he explains, painting a picture of the late-night adventures that add excitement to their lives.

Memorable Sex Stories:
Robert Reeves recounts a particularly romantic memory from his time in San Francisco: “We took off our clothes and waited out and climbed up on a rock in the surf and had sex on top of the rock with the waves crashing around us” ([05:30]). Similarly, Bill Lyons shares a tender encounter at a gay beach near the Golden Gate Bridge, emphasizing the beauty and spontaneity of these moments ([06:35]).

Bathhouses:
The hosts delve into the significance of bathhouses in the gay community pre-HIV. Bill Lyons reminisces about the Rich Street Baths in San Francisco, describing it as “a playland, absolutely” ([09:03]). Mick Peterson shares his first experience at the 8709 West 3rd Street bathhouse in Los Angeles, highlighting the communal and relationship-building aspects of these spaces ([10:24]).

Memorable Stories and Personal Reflections

Folsom Europe Experience:
Mick Peterson recounts his time at Folsom Europe in Berlin, detailing the raw and theatrical atmosphere: “It was just this incredible milieu of people from all over Europe. We're all playing, we're all having fun, we're all taking substances, and we're all just enjoying ourselves being gay” ([07:27]). This experience underscores the diversity and vibrancy of queer gatherings internationally.

Bathhouse Dynamics:
Robert Reeves adds context to the bathhouse culture, mentioning a specific bathhouse in the Tenderloin area: “There was a Mac truck inside the building. And you could play in the cab of the truck or on the hood of the truck wherever you wanted” ([09:53]). These anecdotes illustrate the unique and often adventurous environments that fostered connections.

Misconceptions About Sex and Kink/Fetish

Understanding Kink:
Mick Peterson takes the lead in demystifying kink and fetish, explaining: “Kink means unconventional or taboo sex, mostly dealing with bondage and sadomasochism. The biggest misconceptions I think people have about kink is people's aversion to pain” ([22:49]). He elaborates on the endorphin rush associated with kink activities, comparing it to the high athletes experience: “It is tantamount to sex. And I think people are afraid of that because they think it's long-lasting. It isn't” ([23:16]).

Personal Growth and Education:
The hosts discuss how their understanding of kink has evolved. Bill Lyons admits, “I used to equate kink to weird. But after hearing your stories... I have a greater understanding and I don't consider kink weird anymore” ([26:08]). This segment highlights the importance of education and open-mindedness in overcoming stereotypes.

Transition from Traditional Cruising to Online Dating

Dating Apps vs. Cruising:
The group transitions to discussing the shift from traditional cruising to the modern landscape of online dating. Mick Peterson shares his recent experiences with dating apps, humorously noting the superficial interactions: “I had this guy who said, wanna fuck?... he seems a little too wild for me” ([27:27]). Jessay Martin echoes the sentiment of online fatigue, expressing frustration with repetitive questions: “I get tired of people saying, what are you into?” ([27:41]).

Nostalgia for Bars:
Bill Lyons reminisces about the immediacy of meeting partners in bars: “The thing that I liked the most was going to bars because you could find out what they were into. They were there. It was instant sex” ([28:35]). This nostalgia underscores a preference for more spontaneous and authentic connections compared to the sometimes transactional nature of apps.

Silver Linings Takeaways

As the episode wraps up, each host shares their personal "silver lining" regarding sex, love, and romance:

• Robert Reeves: “The silver lining about sex is that sex is a very important part of your being throughout your life, no matter how old you are. And I also believe it's an important component of health. And that ... an orgasm a day is good for you” ([29:28]).

• Bill Lyons: Reflects on meaningful long-term relationships, stating, “I had two wonderful partners... the joy of being with him, traveling with him, and just having a great time” ([30:05]).

• Mick Peterson: Focuses on trust and deep emotional connections, sharing a poetic description of his ideal partner:
  “My dream man stands 6 foot 4 of 235 pounds of pumped ripped and vascular Dom... It is all or nothing with him” ([21:17]).

Conclusion

This episode of Silver Linings with The Old Gays offers a rich tapestry of stories and insights into the sexual and romantic lives of older gay men. From nostalgic tales of cruising and bathhouses to contemporary challenges with dating apps, the hosts provide a heartfelt and humorous exploration of love, sex, and connection within the LGBTQ+ community. Their reflections not only entertain but also shed light on the evolving dynamics of queer relationships.

Notable Quotes:

• “An orgasm a day is good for you” – Robert Reeves ([29:28])
• “Cruises, life begins after midnight...” – Jessay Martin ([02:37])
• “Kink means unconventional or taboo sex...” – Mick Peterson ([22:49])

Tune In Next Time:
Join Robert, Jessay, Bill, and Mick in two weeks as they share their coming out stories and discuss the ongoing importance of celebrating queer identities.

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