Dr Connie Kerali has a powerful conversation with the remarkable, Neelu, a business coach and single mother of four, about domestic violence, coercive control, financial abuse, and marital rape within a 17-year marriage. Neelu shares growing up in a conservative Muslim family, being pushed toward marriage from her teens, and recognising dysfunction through motherhood and learning healthier parenting. She describes escalating control by her husband and in-laws, neglect during pregnancies, coerced pregnancies, and isolation, alongside family toxicity, stigma around mental health, and being treated as “crazy” after seeking therapy and Prozac for clinical depression. After repeated broken promises, failed couples counselling, and her husband leaving the family while withholding support, Neelu chose divorce and also distanced herself from her own family. She now rebuilds independence, sets boundaries, and uses social media to reduce shame and support other women.

01:30 Introducing Neelu

06:58 Motherhood Wake Up Call

08:10 Unlearning and Boundaries

19:45 Engagement Red Flags

28:56 Control and Neglect

33:37 Marital Rape and Pregnancy

40:11 Fourth Pregnancy Turning Point

43:40 Job Loss and COVID Return

47:57 Back in Kerala Toxic Homes

52:13 Depression and Seeking Help

01:02:59 Money Control and Neglect

01:07:19 Decision to Divorce

01:12:33 Healing and Boundaries

01:20:00 Happily Divorced Community

01:24:40 No Shame and Hope

01:29:56 Reclaiming Joy Post Divorce

NEELU

Instagram: @HappilyDivorced.Neelu

UK SUPPORT SERVICES

In an emergency, dial 999; for non-emergencies or dial 101 (UK only)
Find your nearest NHS Sexual Assault Referral Centre
Find an NHS Talking Therapy service near you or contact your GP surgery
Charities: Mind, The Samaritans, Rape Crisis, Women’s Aid, or Victim Support

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