Podcast
Speak Shame
Hosted by Dr Connie Kerali · EN
Hello Remarkable Woman, have you ever been silenced by shame? Have you ever believed that you’re not enough? Do you believe that you're unworthy of love or belonging? Are these beliefs holding you back in your personal or professional life? If this sounds like you, then you’re in the right place. Speak Shame with me, Dr Connie Kerali, - medical doctor, life coach & survivor of sexual violence - is a collection of expert insights on how to rediscover your self-worth, as well as inspiring conversations with remarkable women who have faced and overcome adversity. By sharing their stories, my hope is that you may find strength, connection, and hope in your own journey, and that shame itself loses its power. So, sit back, relax, and don't forget to like and subscribe to the show.
26episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
"The Shame Isn't Yours To Carry": Chioma Alade On Surviving Sexual Abuse In The Church
3w ago00:29:58Tap to summarizeWhat happens when the place you ran to for safety becomes the source of your greatest harm?In Episode 32 of Speak Shame, Dr Connie Kerali is joined by Chioma Alade, UK clergy, cult and sexual abuse specialist, and founder of By Fourteen. Chioma grew up in an abusive home and found what she believed was safety in the church, only to be groomed and sexually abused by her Sunday school teacher for over a decade. She didn't recognise it as abuse until she was 30.In this powerful conversation, Chioma opens up about the culture of shame that kept her silent, the grooming tactics predators use within faith communities, what radical acceptance really feels like, and the long road to healing, including the medical consequences of abuse that nobody talks about. She also shares how her late diagnosis of Ehlers Danlos syndrome added another layer of complexity to her journey, and why she founded By Fourteen: to help every child identify a predator before the age of 14.This episode is for anyone who has ever been silenced by shame, let down by an institution they trusted, or told that what happened to them was their fault. The shame was never yours to carry.Topics covered: church sexual abuse, grooming, coercive control, cult abuse, shame and religion, faith communities and safeguarding, Ehlers Danlos syndrome, invisible disability, healing from trauma, predator awareness, By Fourteen, Black British women, Nigerian culture and shame📲 Connect with Chioma: Instagram @ChiomaAlade and @ByFourteenOrg.If you have been affected by this story, you can seek support at charities such as Rape Crisis, Hersana, Secrets Worth Sharing, or Surviving Universal UK. 02:44 Chapter One: Potential03:50 Childhood Abuse And Church06:33 Realising It Was Abuse07:53 Fury And Dismantling A Cult09:13 Radical Acceptance And Recovery10:39 Medical Impact And Regulation13:01 Speaking Out And Training15:43 Culture Of Shame In Faith17:38 Advice To Survivors19:03 Ehlers Danlos Diagnosis20:41 By Fourteen And Disability Advocacy22:43 Healing Takeaways And Resources24:44 NHS Pathways For Survivors26:46 Remarkable Women Inspirations29:06 Closing And Where To ConnectGET IN TOUCHJoin the community:@DrConnieKerali on InstagramSign up for my Born Worthy newsletter to get your weekly dose of empowerment.Are you ready to break free from the shame that keeps you stuck? My free, on-demand, Shame Resilience Workshop is for Remarkable Women who are tired of hiding parts of themselves and are ready to step into a life of authenticity, courage, & self-compassion.Hello Remarkable Woman, do you know your story matters but don't know how to tell it yet? Join The Storytellers Club, a free, private community hub to discover the power hidden in your story through creativity & connection.
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"No One Is Coming to Save Me": Sacha Hughes on Grief, Self-Sabotage & Finding Her Voice
May 400:24:22Tap to summarize"Where is this guy? I want to be rescued. And then I realised: No one is coming to save me."In Episode 31 of Speak Shame, author Sacha Hughes shares her journey from self-sabotage to self-love and how she turned her pain into a published novel. When Sacha was 24, her mum died of cancer. She turned to Pinot Grigio to numb the grief. For years, she believed Mr. Right would rescue her from the depths of despair. When that marriage ended in divorce, she had a choice: sink or rise. She chose to rise. What you'll hear: · Growing up as the shy, anxious youngest of four already carrying the belief "I'm not good enough" · How her mother's death sent her into a decade of self-sabotage, numbing with drugs & alcohol, and searching for rescue · The moment she realised: "This breakdown is going to become my breakthrough" · Five years of reading spiritual books while her children slept, absorbing Louise Hay, Wayne Dyer, Eckhart Tolle · The Shirley Valentine moment that sparked her debut novel · Her advice: "Stop leaning into the hurt. Start leaning into the lessons." Sacha's message: You are responsible for your life. No one is coming to save you. Put on your own superhero cape and become your own heroine. If you've been waiting for rescue, if you're stuck in self-sabotage, if you feel like a fraud in your own life, this conversation is for you. Topics covered: grief and loss, self-sabotage, numbing with drugs and alcohol, people pleasing, imposter syndrome, spiritual awakening, divorce recovery, turning pain into purpose, finding your voice, writing as healing📖 Get Sacha's book: Love, Grief, and More Sex Than Pinot 📲 Connect with Sacha: Instagram @SachaHughes | SachaHughes.com | Facebook01:17 Meet Sacha Hughes02:00 Chapter One Childhood04:51 Losing Mum and Coping06:48 Marriage Divorce Turning Point07:36 Healing Books and Meaning08:39 Holiday Spark Writing Begins09:43 Becoming an Author12:50 Advice for Feeling Stuck15:54 Getting Visible and Connecting17:31 Where to Find Sacha18:24 Key Takeaways and Self Rescue20:15 Shame Themes and Identity22:13 Remarkable Woman TributeGET IN TOUCHJoin the community:@DrConnieKerali on InstagramSign up for my Born Worthy newsletter to get your weekly dose of empowerment.Are you ready to break free from the shame that keeps you stuck? My free, on-demand, Shame Resilience Workshop is for Remarkable Women who are tired of hiding parts of themselves and are ready to step into a life of authenticity, courage, & self-compassion.Hello Remarkable Woman, do you know your story matters but don't know how to tell it yet? Join The Storytellers Club, a free, private community hub to discover the power hidden in your story through creativity & connection.
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"I Felt Like I Was Faking It": Rachel Hartigan on Journalism & Female Ambition
Apr 2200:35:51Tap to summarize"You don't have to explain your ambition. You can just be ambitious."In episode 30 of Speak Shame, journalist and author Rachel Hartigan shares her journey from feeling like an imposter in journalism to writing a book that unravels one of history's greatest mysteries: Amelia Earhart's disappearance.Rachel spent 12 years at National Geographic covering everything from genetic potatoes to the long road to women's suffrage. But it was two expeditions to a remote Pacific island – searching for traces of Amelia Earhart – that led her to write Lost: Amelia Earhart's Three Mysterious Deaths and One Extraordinary Life. What you'll hear: · How Rachel found her way into journalism (hint: her dad handed her a magazine) · Why she felt like she was "faking it" for years and when that changed · What she learned about storytelling from writing 200-word pieces on genetic potatoes · The moment she realised she could write a book · Why Amelia Earhart refused to explain her ambition and what that means for women today · Rachel's advice to her younger self: "Stop wasting energy on insecurity. Just try."Rachel's message: You don't have to justify what you want to do. Men don't have to explain themselves so why should we?If you're a writer, journalist, or woman tired of over-explaining your ambition, this conversation is for you.Topics covered: journalism career path, imposter syndrome, National Geographic, Amelia Earhart mystery, female ambition, writing a book, not apologising for your goals, women in history📖 Get Rachel's book: Lost: Amelia Earhart's Three Mysterious Deaths and One Extraordinary Life 🌐 Connect with Rachel: RachelHartiganAuthor.com; Instagram: @RJ_Hartigan 01:12 Meet Rachel Hartigan02:16 Origin Story: Reader03:46 Finding Journalism Path08:00 Owning Journalist Identity10:06 National Geographic Curiosity13:25 Lessons as a Reporter16:37 Amelia Earhart Expeditions20:25 Why Earhart Still Matters25:42 Ambition Without Apology28:23 Next Book Ideas29:37 Advice for Aspiring Writers31:25 Words to Younger Self32:31 Where to Find Rachel33:38 Remarkable Woman InspirationGET IN TOUCHJoin the community:@DrConnieKerali on InstagramSign up for my Born Worthy newsletter to get your weekly dose of empowerment.Are you ready to break free from the shame that keeps you stuck? My free, on-demand, Shame Resilience Workshop is for Remarkable Women who are tired of hiding parts of themselves and are ready to step into a life of authenticity, courage, & self-compassion.Hello Remarkable Woman, do you know your story matters but don't know how to tell it yet? Join The Storytellers Club, a free, private community hub to discover the power hidden in your story through creativity & connection.
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From "Obsolete" to Unstoppable: Jennifer Schroeder Exposes Workplace Age Bias
Apr 800:36:03Tap to summarizeIn this inspiring episode of Speak Shame, Dr Connie Kerali interviews Jennifer Schroeder, who at 58 was told her skills were “obsolete” and faced systemic age bias after hundreds of rejections. Jennifer recounts a planned 15-minute meeting where she was threatened with a performance improvement plan or severance, describing shock, shame, anger, and an out-of-body feeling, followed by months of replaying the event and noticing earlier signs like being excluded from meetings. Needing income, she tried various jobs while recovering for 12–18 months. She later posted videos on LinkedIn and TikTok, sparking thousands of responses from others experiencing similar discrimination, and grew The Unobsolete to support both HR leaders and professionals. Her key advice is to pay attention, document workplace issues, and remember you are not powerless or obsolete. 01:14 Introducing Jennifer Schroeder03:21 A Career Turned Upside Down04:43 Shock and Out of Body06:27 The Walk of Shame08:51 Red Flags in Hindsight11:50 Aftermath at Home15:11 Rebuilding After the Blow18:49 Birth of The Unobsolete20:48 Stories From the Community23:17 Turning Posts Into a Mission26:59 Practical Survival Advice29:48 Where to Find Jennifer30:39 Purpose From Pain31:48 Not Powerless33:27 A Remarkable Woman Tribute JENNIFER SCHROEDERLinkedin: Jennifer SchroederTikTok: @TheUnobsoleteInstagram: @TheUnobsoleteYouTube: Coming SoonGET IN TOUCHJoin the community:@DrConnieKerali on InstagramSign up for my Born Worthy newsletter to get your weekly dose of empowerment.Are you ready to break free from the shame that keeps you stuck? My free, on-demand, Shame Resilience Workshop is for Remarkable Women who are tired of hiding parts of themselves and are ready to step into a life of authenticity, courage, & self-compassion.Hello Remarkable Woman, do you know your story matters but don't know how to tell it yet? Join The Storytellers Club, a free, private community hub to discover the power hidden in your story through creativity & connection.
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The Mixed Race Experience: Dr. Jenn on Identity Shame & Finding Belonging
Mar 2600:32:18Tap to summarizeIn this episode of Speak Shame, Dr Connie Kerali is joined by Dr. Jenn (Jennifer Noble), a licensed psychologist and parent coach specialising in children, teens, identity development, and the mixed-race population, and founder of Free to Be Collective. Dr Jenn shares her early life in Santa Monica shaped by diversity and international travel, and discusses her own mixed-race identity (African American and Sri Lankan Tamil) and how being read as Black influenced her understanding of perception and identity. She describes recognising a gap when mixed-race adults at community events revealed they had never processed identity with their parents, often feeling shame and pressure to choose one “box.” Dr Jenn explains her work helping parents understand the “third” mixed-race experience, increase intentional cultural exposure, and support adolescents navigating appearance, belonging, and assumptions. She highlights how societal expectations create shame and names Wangarī Maathai as a key inspiration.00:00 Mixed Race Identity Gap00:33 Meet Dr Connie Kerali01:09 Introducing Dr. Jenn02:47 Chapter One: Origins04:55 Finding Her Purpose08:27 The Need She Saw11:30 Coaching Parents Basics13:49 Cultural Exposure Matters16:53 Sade and Self Freedom19:40 Advice for Mixed Race Teens23:49 Key Takeaways for Everyone25:57 Connect with Dr Jenn27:23 Shame and One Box Thinking29:50 Remarkable Woman InspirationDR. JENN (JENNIFER NOBLE)INSTAGRAM: @DrJennPsychWEBSITE: FreeToBeCollective.com GET IN TOUCHJoin the community:@DrConnieKerali on InstagramSign up for my Born Worthy newsletter to get your weekly dose of empowerment.Are you ready to break free from the shame that keeps you stuck? My free, on-demand, Shame Resilience Workshop is for Remarkable Women who are tired of hiding parts of themselves and are ready to step into a life of authenticity, courage, & self-compassion.Hello Remarkable Woman, do you know your story matters but don't know how to tell it yet? Join The Storytellers Club, a free, private community hub to discover the power hidden in your story through creativity & connection.
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From Survival to Freedom: Neelu speaks out about Domestic Violence and Life After Divorce
Mar 1201:36:21Tap to summarizeDr Connie Kerali has a powerful conversation with the remarkable, Neelu, a business coach and single mother of four, about domestic violence, coercive control, financial abuse, and marital rape within a 17-year marriage. Neelu shares growing up in a conservative Muslim family, being pushed toward marriage from her teens, and recognising dysfunction through motherhood and learning healthier parenting. She describes escalating control by her husband and in-laws, neglect during pregnancies, coerced pregnancies, and isolation, alongside family toxicity, stigma around mental health, and being treated as “crazy” after seeking therapy and Prozac for clinical depression. After repeated broken promises, failed couples counselling, and her husband leaving the family while withholding support, Neelu chose divorce and also distanced herself from her own family. She now rebuilds independence, sets boundaries, and uses social media to reduce shame and support other women.01:30 Introducing Neelu06:58 Motherhood Wake Up Call08:10 Unlearning and Boundaries19:45 Engagement Red Flags28:56 Control and Neglect33:37 Marital Rape and Pregnancy40:11 Fourth Pregnancy Turning Point43:40 Job Loss and COVID Return47:57 Back in Kerala Toxic Homes52:13 Depression and Seeking Help01:02:59 Money Control and Neglect01:07:19 Decision to Divorce01:12:33 Healing and Boundaries01:20:00 Happily Divorced Community01:24:40 No Shame and Hope01:29:56 Reclaiming Joy Post DivorceNEELUInstagram: @HappilyDivorced.NeeluUK SUPPORT SERVICESIn an emergency, dial 999; for non-emergencies or dial 101 (UK only)Find your nearest NHS Sexual Assault Referral CentreFind an NHS Talking Therapy service near you or contact your GP surgeryCharities: Mind, The Samaritans, Rape Crisis, Women’s Aid, or Victim SupportGET IN TOUCHJoin the community:@DrConnieKerali on InstagramSign up for my Born Worthy newsletter to get your weekly dose of empowerment.Are you ready to break free from the shame that keeps you stuck? My free, on-demand, Shame Resilience Workshop is for Remarkable Women who are tired of hiding parts of themselves and are ready to step into a life of authenticity, courage, & self-compassion.Hello Remarkable Woman, do you know your story matters but don't know how to tell it yet? Join The Storytellers Club, a free, private community hub to discover the power hidden in your story through creativity & connection.
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Breaking Generational Cycles: Poonnamme Speaks On Her Experience As A 1st Born British-Asian
Feb 2601:34:59Tap to summarizeIn this episode of Speak Shame we discuss sexual violence, attempted suicide, and eating disorders and with support links are provided below. Dr Connie interviews Poonnamme, a Sikh woman raised between the UK and Punjab, with over 35 years in health and social care, who now also facilitates Kundalini Shakti activation. She shares how being the first-born girl and only child brought intense pressure tied to family honour and community expectations, including expectations around education and status. She describes being sexually assaulted at 17 by someone known to the family and a subsequent attempted suicide. She shares that at 18 she entered an arranged marriage and describes living “two lives” as a Western professional and a traditional subservient wife. Becoming a mother was a turning point in her decision to break cycles for her daughter. Poonnamme reflects on how her experiences shaped her voice, resilience, and ability to feel pride in both who she is and who she was. 01:40 Introducing Poonnamme04:43 Firstborn Expectations08:24 Schooling And Illness11:14 Career Dreams Clash12:51 Sexual Assault Silence16:25 Aftermath And Survival25:10 Arranged Marriage Begins26:02 Two Lives At Home & At Work29:09 A Manager Believes34:59 Leaving To Break Cycles36:49 Healing And Sharing41:42 Trauma In The Body43:23 Eating Disorder Spiral47:36 Crossroads With Substances56:20 Self Healing Awakening01:00:00 Launching Healing Practice01:03:37 Identity And Finding Voice01:13:56 Advice For Feeling Stuck01:21:02 Where To Find Poonnamme01:27:51 Remarkable Women And GratitudePOONNAMMEInstagram: @JagoSacredEnergyWebsite: JagoSacredEnergy.co.ukUK SUPPORT SERVICESIn an emergency, dial 999; for non-emergencies or dial 101 (UK only)Find your nearest NHS Sexual Assault Referral CentreFind an NHS Talking Therapy service near you or contact your GP surgeryCharities: Mind, The Samaritans, Rape Crisis, Women’s Aid, Victim SupportGET IN TOUCHJoin the community:@DrConnieKerali on InstagramSign up for my Born Worthy newsletter to get your weekly dose of empowerment.Are you ready to break free from the shame that keeps you stuck? My free, on-demand, Shame Resilience Workshop is for Remarkable Women who are tired of hiding parts of themselves and are ready to step into a life of authenticity, courage, & self-compassion.Hello Remarkable Woman, do you know your story matters but don't know how to tell it yet? Join The Storytellers Club, a free, private community hub to discover the power hidden in your story through creativity & connection.
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Say It Out Loud: Finding Your Voice With Vasavi Kumar
Feb 1900:30:47Tap to summarizeIn this week’s episode of Speak Shame, Dr Connie Kerali speaks with Vasavi Kumar, licensed therapist, mindset coach, voice actor, TV host, and author of Say It Out Loud. Vasavi shares how she began to stop doubting herself and regain trust in her voice by developing an “immaculate” inner narrative - one that is kind, encouraging, and safe - so that external criticism no longer carries the same weight. She explains how her work has evolved over 15 years alongside her own personal growth, and how sharing the truth with emotion and precision helps her connect with clients who are on a similar path. Vasavi offers a practical example of challenging limiting beliefs by reframing the fear of raising prices for her Out Loud School. She also reflects on Bad Bunny’s Super Bowl performance as a reminder for women of colour and children of immigrants to stay true to their culture without whitewashing themselves for acceptance. Vasavi discusses how grief after her father’s death in May 2025 led her to temporarily silence herself, and how returning to speaking out loud helped her process emotions and reduce shame. She closes by emphasising that shame festers in silence and isolation, and that everyone needs a safe place to be witnessed and express themselves - one of the reasons she created the Out Loud School, which she notes is not therapy but is therapeutic.00:00 The impact of silencing yourself and why shame shrivels when voiced01:05 Introduction to Speak Shame and guest Vasavi Kumar03:45 Vasavi’s “first chapter”: ending self-doubt and trusting her voice07:00 Rewiring the inner narrative and treating yourself with respect12:40 Helping others while doing your own ongoing inner work15:40 How telling the truth and sharing personal stories attracts aligned clients19:10 A practical reframe: challenging limiting beliefs when raising prices27:10 Bad Bunny, authenticity, and refusing to whitewash culture for acceptance35:30 Grief, losing your voice after her father’s death, and returning to expression42:10 Why not using your voice affects mental, emotional, physical and financial wellbeing48:15 Finding a safe place to “say it out loud” and what Out Loud School offers55:10 Where to find Vasavi and her remarkable woman inspirationVASAVI KUMAR• Instagram: @MyNameIsVasavi• Website: vasavikumar.comGET IN TOUCHJoin the community:@DrConnieKerali on InstagramSign up for my Born Worthy newsletter to get your weekly dose of empowerment.Are you ready to break free from the shame that keeps you stuck? My free, on-demand, Shame Resilience Workshop is for Remarkable Women who are tired of hiding parts of themselves and are ready to step into a life of authenticity, courage, & self-compassion.Hello Remarkable Woman, do you know your story matters but don't know how to tell it yet? Join The Storytellers Club, a free, private community hub to discover the power hidden in your story through creativity & connection.
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I'm Not A Failure: Faith Aisien-Ezugwu On Dyslexia & Developing Self-Compassion
Feb 1200:31:42Tap to summarizeIn this episode, host Dr Connie Kerali interviews Faith Aisien-Ezugwu, author of the poetry and spoken word book 'I Am Here' and host of the 'Re: Series' podcast. Faith shares her journey from growing up in Nigeria and overcoming feelings of inadequacy and being labeled a 'failure' as a child, to her successful career in business and events management. She discusses her struggles with dyslexia, the emotional challenges she faced, and how therapy helped her find self-compassion and self-worth. Faith offers advice to listeners on believing in themselves, recognising their strengths, and seeking the support they need. She also reflects on the importance of discussing mental health issues and breaking cultural stigmas. The episode concludes with a powerful reading from her book, 'I Am Here'.01:23 Meet Faith Aisien-Ezugwu02:34 Chapter One Poem05:07 Childhood and Culture09:22 Dyslexia and Self Work12:59 Writing the Book15:30 Advice to Younger Self18:10 Mentoring and Hard Work20:29 Parenting and Breaking Silence24:09 Therapy and Self Compassion27:01 Remarkable Women Inspiration29:56 Final Reading and Wrap UpFAITH AISIEN-EZUGWUWebsite: FaithAisienEzugwu.comInstagram: @inkwellfaithPodcast: The Re: SeriesGET IN TOUCHJoin the community:@DrConnieKerali on InstagramSign up for my Born Worthy newsletter to get your weekly dose of empowerment.Are you ready to break free from the shame that keeps you stuck? My free, on-demand, Shame Resilience Workshop is for Remarkable Women who are tired of hiding parts of themselves and are ready to step into a life of authenticity, courage, & self-compassion.Hello Remarkable Woman, do you know your story matters but don't know how to tell it yet? Join The Storytellers Club, a free, private community hub to discover the power hidden in your story through creativity & connection.
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Believing Your Body Has Failed You: Emily Silva Hockstra On Infertility, Grief & Healing
Jan 2900:29:17Tap to summarizeIn this week's episode, Dr Connie Kerali interviews Emily Silva Hockstra, a five-time author and spiritual life coach. Emily shares her journey from an anxiety-ridden child to a successful author and coach. She discusses her personal experiences, including suffering a miscarriage at 18, transitioning from a corporate career to wine tasting, and eventually pursuing her passion for writing full-time. Emily delves into the profound impact of grief and shame on her life after a diagnosis of primary ovarian insufficiency meant that she was unable to conceive, detailing how therapy, yoga, and self-discovery have been crucial in her healing journey. She also talks about the creation of her books, such as 'Moonlight Gratitude' and 'Sunset Gratitude,' and emphasises the importance of seeking help and finding inner peace. The episode closes with Emily reflecting on her sources of inspiration and offering advice for those navigating their own struggles.01:06 Meet Emily Silva Hockstra02:09 Chapter One: Origins03:10 Corporate to Wine Life05:27 Quitting to Create06:04 Life Coaching Begins07:04 First Book Breakthrough08:52 Building the Book Series10:29 POI Diagnosis and Grief13:49 Day to Day Shame Spiral15:42 Therapy and Body Healing18:48 Vulnerability Takeaways20:36 Advice for Listeners22:14 Unpacking Shame Stories23:50 Coaching After Grief25:46 Stay Connected Online26:10 Final Reflections27:35 Remarkable Woman TributeEMILY SILVA HOCKSTRAInstagran: @SoulsAdventuresWebsite: SoulsAdventures.comGET IN TOUCHJoin the community:@DrConnieKerali on InstagramSign up for my Born Worthy newsletter to get your weekly dose of empowerment.Are you ready to break free from the shame that keeps you stuck? My free, on-demand, Shame Resilience Workshop is for Remarkable Women who are tired of hiding parts of themselves and are ready to step into a life of authenticity, courage, & self-compassion.Hello Remarkable Woman, do you know your story matters but don't know how to tell it yet? Join The Storytellers Club, a free, private community hub to discover the power hidden in your story through creativity & connection.
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