Backwards Sprinting & The Letter “G” Battle Royale - Spit Hits! - Comedy Podcast

Summary

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Spitballers Comedy Podcast

Episode: Backwards Sprinting & The Letter “G” Battle Royale – Spit Hits!
Date: January 1, 2026
Hosts: Andy, Mike, Jason

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Episode Overview

In this uproarious episode, the Spitballers trio dive headfirst into a series of ridiculous “Would You Rather” scenarios, reflect on the honor (or shame) of beating a grandma in pickleball, and host a riotous "Man of the People" polling game. The episode ends with a chaotic and wildly entertaining “Battle Royale Draft,” where the guys each draft the ultimate fighters or characters whose names start with the letter "G." As always, their banter oscillates between sharp wit and gleeful nonsense, making for a genuinely funny, family-friendly listen.

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Key Segments and Discussion Points

1. Would You Rather?

[02:17–11:00]

• Prompt from Oscar (Patreon):
  Would you rather:

  • Only be able to walk backwards
  • Or only be able to say 300 words a day?

• Debate Ensues:

  • Mike is gleeful at the prospect of only needing to say 300 words daily:

    “Does it get any better? Can life improve more after that stipulation is placed?” – Mike [02:59]

  • Andy, the chatty one, panics at the idea of word limits, and the hosts clarify the question: 300 words total per day, not just 300 unique words.
  • Jason points out, "It's only like three decent paragraphs… We're quitting our job at that point, or we're shortening the podcast." [03:53]

• Walking Backwards?

  • The guys spiral into an investigation about the world of competitive backwards running, including the record holder Aaron Yoder, whose 100m backwards time is 13.17 seconds and has a sub-6 minute backwards mile.
  • Jason:

    “How insulting is it for you to get beaten by a man running backwards on a mile if you were racing him?” [06:52]

  • Andy is quietly impressed:

    “Dude, I can't run that straight forward… I'm seeing some huge advantages of this walking backwards thing.” [06:08]

  • The group considers the social challenges and unexpected "advantages" of the backwards life, such as perfecting the art of backpedaling or needing specialized rearview glasses.

• Final Verdict:

  • Andy and Jason choose verbal freedom over backwards mobility; Mike (contrarian as usual) relishes a life with less chit-chat.

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2. Would You Rather… Be a Jerk to an Elder or Lose to a Kid?

[11:00–15:10]

• Prompt from Gus:
  Would you rather:

  • Routinely beat a 75-year-old at pickleball while yelling “You suck!” after every point,
  • Or lose to a 12-year-old who yells “You suck!” after every winning point?

• Reactions:

  • Mike and Andy: Not only would they gleefully destroy the elder, but they’d trash talk with gusto.

    “Grandpa, I’m going to show you that I’m not giving you special treatment, gramps.” – Andy [11:41] “If you’re 75, there’s a chance I kill you in this match, Gramps.” – Jason [15:01]

  • Jason objects, citing his “deep, deep sense of respect for elders,” preferring humiliation from a child instead.

  • Hilarious debate about dignity, competitive spirit, and generational revenge ensues, complete with fake war stories and mock-honor.

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3. Would You Rather… Porta-Potties vs. Moving Furniture?

[15:18–21:39]

• Prompt from Finn:
  Would you rather work 5 hours a day cleaning porta-potties, or 10 hours a day as a professional mover (for the same pay)?
• Arguments:
  • Andy, having recently hired diverse movers, marvels at the stamina (and surprising body diversity) of moving crews:

    “There are some big fatties… This was not, like, ‘I’m overweight.’ He’s a big fatty. I can’t believe this guy has a job moving furniture.” [16:08]

  • Despite sharing actual admiration, he and the others mostly conclude: 10-hour moving days are brutal for the body.
• Porta-Potty Details:
  • The hosts agonize over technicalities (what tools are allowed, safety gear, etc.), but most settle on the porta-potty job—as long as it’s not more hours than moving.

    “You're not dumping toilet... You're just cleaning the inside.” – Jason [18:33]

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4. Man of the People – Polling Game

[24:05–33:31]

• Game Explained:
  Al runs a Family-Feud-style quiz: 100 people answer, and the hosts guess the most popular response for each round.

  • Points: 3 for #1 answer, 2 for #2, 1 for others. Final round is double points.

• Sample Questions, Memorable Exchanges:

  • Item people wear to the beach (besides swimsuit):

    • Flip flops (#1), sunglasses (#2), sunscreen (#3) – The guys crush it, nailing all top picks. [24:55]

  • Heaviest grocery item:

    • Watermelon (#1) is the most popular, despite Andy’s disbelief that potatoes aren’t heavier. [25:52]

  • Where it’s rude to laugh:

    • Funeral (#1), church, library, hospital… Mike’s accidental phrasing, “a very serious play”, lands exactly as a listed answer, causing uproarious laughter. [27:23]

  • Task both wives and moms assign:

    • “Clean up after yourself,” “take out the garbage,” “wash the dishes”—more top threes and general 'dad-life' admissions. [29:09]

  • What gets thrown?

    • Ball, frisbee, tantrum—Andy tries “insults,” marking the first miss of the game. [31:06]

  • Final round – U.S. cities that start with “B”:

    • Jason impulsively shouts “Boise,” missing “Boston” (the #1 answer) to the delight—and mockery—of his friends.

      “Why did I go Boise?” – Andy [32:28]

• Final Outcome:

  • Andy is crowned "Man of the People," his second consecutive win.

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5. The Spitballers Draft: G Battle Royale

[34:54–47:55]

• Premise:
  Each drafts four fighters/characters beginning with 'G,' sending them into an imaginary coliseum for combat. Picks can be people, animals, or fictional characters.

Draft Round Highlights

• Jason’s top pick:
  • Gandalf – “I need myself a wizard.” [36:07]
• Mike:
  • Genie – “The Genie’s back!” [36:25]
  • Galactus (Marvel comics cosmic villain) – “He could—Godzilla’s an ant.” [41:15]
  • Goku & Gohan (Dragon Ball anime)
• Andy:
  • Godzilla (“I’ve got the size & the tail…”), [37:01]
  • Green Lantern (“He can do anything he imagines, except sell tickets.” – Jason [38:22])
  • Ginny Weasley (“A powerhouse!”) [44:59]
  • Ghostface (Scream) (“He’ll stab you to death!”) [46:45]
• Jason’s Later Picks:
  • Grizzly bear, Goliath, and, in comedic defeat, George Costanza

Notable Exchanges & Quotes

• On Green Lantern’s powers:

  “Are there limitations on that? Because I feel like I’ve seen a Green Lantern do something with projectiles… As long as you’re wearing the ring, you can…” – Mike [38:24] “He can do anything he imagines. Except for sell tickets.” – Jason [38:26]

• Mike’s comic book knowledge prompts mockery; Andy literally drafts Ginny Weasley as a “sensational powerhouse,” leading to hilarious pushback. [44:59]
• The absurdity peaks with picks like Ghostface and George Costanza, with Jason declaring:

  “This is the worst.” [47:31]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Backwards Running:

  “If you can run a 5 minute and 54 second mile, you can participate in like marathons backwards and just make everyone feel horrible.” – Jason [07:53]

• On Beating Elders in Pickleball:

  “There’s a reason he made it to 75.” – Andy [14:59]
  “If you’re 75, there’s a chance I kill you in this match, Gramps.” – Jason [15:01]

• On the Draft:

  “I need myself a wizard. So I’m going Gandalf.” – Jason [36:07]
  “Godzilla... I got the size and the tail…” – Andy [37:01]
  “He can do anything he imagines. Except for sell tickets.” – Jason on Green Lantern [38:26]
  “Dude, that’s a pick, man. That is a pick.” – Andy on Galactus [41:51]
  “I’ll just take a goose.” – Jason, giving up [47:22]

• On Game Show Logic:

  “Why did I go Boise?” – Andy, regretting the misfire [32:28]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 02:17 – Would You Rather: Talk less vs. walk backwards
• 11:00 – Would You Rather: Pickleball shame—elderly vs. children
• 15:18 – Would You Rather: Porta-potty vs. moving crew
• 24:05 – Man of the People polling game begins
• 34:54 – Spitballers Draft: Battle Royale (Letter "G")

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Tone and Humor

• The hosts’ tone is playfully combative, endlessly self-deprecating, and loaded with inside jokes and references to “Dad life.” There’s an undercurrent of childlike glee as they take absurd premises seriously (and serious premises absurdly).

• Much of the humor is in the banter, the tangents (e.g., on the physique of professional movers, the oddness of backwards running records), and the escalating ridiculousness of the draft picks.

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Conclusion

This episode is a quintessential Spitballers blend of wild hypotheticals, competitive game-show shenanigans, and a final draft that swerves between pop culture, myth, and absurdity. Whether it’s debating the virtues of backwards movement, the etiquette of beating up elders, or the logic of pitting Godzilla against George Costanza, the chemistry and improvisational comedy of the Spitballers is in top form.

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Best for: Fans needing a hearty laugh, families seeking clean chaos, and anyone who’s ever wondered how Gandalf might stack up against Godzilla and Ginny Weasley.

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Transcript

[Mike]

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[Andy]

What happens when three buffoons give life advice? Explore unrealistic situations and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason.

[Mike]

Boom boom bingity bing bang ba doodoodly bing bang.

[Andy]

Oh, right. My man, my man. Bring it in strong. That's how you start a show, people.

[Mike]

That's how you put the bop at the bomb de bom de bomp, the dang and the dingalongading dong.

[Andy]

All right, welcome in Spit Wads.

[Mike]

The bopsy bopsy bop. I like it.

[Jason]

All of it. All of it. Welcome Into Spitballers, episode 302. Happy to have you with us. Would you rather on the show today playing a game of man of the people.

[Mike]

The people love it.

[Jason]

And then we've got a battle royale draft we'll reveal shortly. Again, I have the first pick.

[Mike]

Again, it's usually in the title of the.

[Jason]

I have the first pick of the secret draft.

[Mike]

Okay. Secret I'm special G draft.

[Jason]

Yeah. Yeah. And we're thankful you're joining us. You guys ready to rumble? Yep. Would you rather Oscar from Patreon, would you rather only be able to walk backwards or only be able to say 300 words per day? Now, I'll be honest. I have no frame of reference for that quantity of words, but it doesn't seem like. Doesn't seem like too little to live on.

[Andy]

It certainly doesn't. I mean, sounds great.

[Jason]

It would be more than Mike currently speaks.

[Mike]

I mean, look, job aside, if I could tell people I am only allowed to say 300 words a day. I mean, does it get any better? Does. Can Life improve more after that stipulation is placed.

[Andy]

Now, we need a little bit of clarity here, because the way that I heard this question was that my vocabulary is limited to only 300 words.

[Mike]

Okay, that's very different because I was.

[Andy]

Gonna say the average person only uses about 150 words a day.

[Mike]

That's no problem. Is that what the Internet says?

[Andy]

This is no problem.

[Al]

Now, this isn't 300 different words. You're only allowed to speak three, 300 words total.

[Andy]

Okay, well, that's a problem.

[Mike]

No, it's great.

[Andy]

Well, sure, for you, I enjoy speaking. And actually, I mean, you say job aside, job's pretty big part of your life.

[Mike]

I know, but I'm saying if my.

[Jason]

Job wasn't to talk, it's actually only like three decent paragraphs. That's what 300 words would be.

[Andy]

So we're quitting our job at that.

[Jason]

Point or we're shortening the podcast.

[Andy]

We are forcibly quitting our job. Then tighten it up. I don't think people will want to tune in for hello, goodbye.

[Jason]

But only walking backwards would make your life a nightmare. So, yeah, you could get another job.

[Mike]

Backwards man to backwards man.

[Jason]

You could get another job where you walk forwards and are able to walk forwards.

[Mike]

Yeah, say goodbye to your athletic endeavors.

[Andy]

I said goodbye to that about two decades ago, Mike.

[Mike]

Not like this.

[Jason]

Not like this. I mean, this would be. So wait, if you're, if you're walking over to the couch to sit down, you do have to do a rotation every time.

[Andy]

No, you don't have to do a rotation.

[Jason]

You're pre rotated.

[Andy]

Yeah, this is an improvement. Huge advantage. I just walk straight to the couch and plop down, man, I don't even have to look when I'm walking on the couch. I'll walk until I'm sitting down.

[Mike]

Furniture is about it, though. Like getting to the car, fleeing a.

[Jason]

Police officer, chasing you would be more tough.

[Andy]

Yes, yes.

[Al]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Being a cornerback, though, I mean, you'd have so much practice. Oh, all right, all right, check this out.

[Mike]

All back pedaling, all backpedaling.

[Jason]

How much faster could your backpedal get with practice?

[Mike]

Now we're talking.

[Jason]

Because if you, if you went out and just tried to backpedal, run, you're not going that fast. Most people fall down, but like, with training, your back pedal should get faster, right?

[Mike]

What's the maximum speed? If someone walked backwards their entire life, how fast could they run?

[Andy]

Extremely fast.

[Mike]

Define extremely fast.

[Jason]

The fastest double digit miles backwards. The fastest backwards 100 meter is 13.17 seconds.

[Mike]

What's the top speed on that.

[Andy]

It's the mph conversion.

[Mike]

Don't do no metric garbage over there.

[Andy]

Yeah, this is America.

[Jason]

It's not.

[Andy]

This international podcast is American.

[Jason]

The fastest mile backpedal sprint. 5 minutes and 54 seconds.

[Andy]

Dude, I can't run that straight Forwards.

[Mike]

A sub.6 minute backwards mile a sub.

[Jason]

It was Aaron Yoder.

[Andy]

Dude, I'm seeing some huge advantages of this walking backwards thing. The only thing you need.

[Jason]

He's considered one of the world's fastest backward runners.

[Mike]

One of them. Is there more?

[Andy]

No, because he is. Because he is a backwards runner. If you are a backwards runner, you're considered one of the world's fastest.

[Mike]

But if you, if you have the fastest time, if you were the fastest at anything and then someone said, hey, you're one of the fastest, I would be furious.

[Andy]

Yeah, I was thinking, no, he wants to be told the.

[Jason]

Yeah, well, he's good at the mile, but how is he at the 2 mile? How is he at the.

[Andy]

Pretty sure he's excellent. I'm very confident.

[Jason]

How insulting is it for you to get beaten by a man running backwards on a mile if you were racing him?

[Andy]

Oh my God.

[Jason]

He could mock you and give you finger guns.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Jason]

As he's passing on the way by.

[Andy]

As he's passing me, he's making faces at me. He doesn't even have to look back. He is looking back.

[Jason]

And there, there is some evidence of this gentleman over on YouTube.

[Andy]

Wow.

[Jason]

The world's fastest backwards runner, Aaron Yoder.

[Mike]

Okay, there we go. Now he's the fastest.

[Jason]

He would have been insulted at the idea of being called one of the fastest.

[Andy]

Yeah. I really do think that the only you're going to need in life if you can only go backwards is some kind of mirror. Like rear view mirror glasses, piles of awards. Well, of course.

[Mike]

What kind of awards?

[Jason]

Gold medals.

[Mike]

Wait, no, no, no, no. What kind of gold medals?

[Andy]

Yeah, gold medal.

[Mike]

And what sanctioned by whom?

[Jason]

I don't know. But he has the world medal, not Olympics.

[Mike]

Because I could give you a gold medal right now and you could say I got a gold medal.

[Jason]

If you can run a 5 minute and 54 second mile, you can participate in like marathons backwards and just make everyone feel horrible.

[Mike]

Is that.

[Jason]

But you could win the marathon.

[Andy]

Why does he exist? That's why does this man.

[Jason]

What made him start running backwards?

[Mike]

I'm watching the guy's video here and that did it got me going down the path of. This man has dedicated a lot of his life to this. And should, should that be Good.

[Andy]

No, no, no, no.

[Mike]

But he, he loves it.

[Jason]

Clearly.

[Andy]

This is a different.

[Mike]

This guy is doing what he wants to do with his life.

[Andy]

This is a different. Would you rather question that we have.

[Mike]

Talked about a few times, would you.

[Andy]

Rather be the best at something that.

[Jason]

Is obscure and stupid. And stupid or you know, decently good at something popular?

[Andy]

Right. And I have learned today that whatever my previous answer was, there is an answer because I don't want to be this dude.

[Mike]

This isn't it.

[Andy]

This isn't it. I'm watching his YouTube video and he's talking about how there's about 100 of US athletes in the world and there's probably about only 100 spectators out there watching.

[Mike]

Oh, no way.

[Andy]

And you're dedicating your life to this?

[Jason]

This is how humanity works. Fundamentally. People want to be special, they want to be unique. They want to do something no one else does.

[Andy]

Team usc.

[Jason]

He wants to be known.

[Andy]

There is no team usc.

[Mike]

Is there a backwards.

[Jason]

You know what are you the world's best anything? Jason Farter.

[Mike]

Okay, that's probably self proclaimed.

[Andy]

Yeah, I mean look, I have no medals but if I will accept one.

[Jason]

Yeah, I won't give one. So I don't know where this leaves us in the question. I think the other part of it was so different with the 300 words per day. That's not enough words for me.

[Andy]

Yeah, it's not enough words for me. I'll tell you what, man.

[Mike]

If I. Aaron Yoder.

[Jason]

So it'd be terrible to run out of words when you need to say something important.

[Andy]

What's crazy is I'm watching this guy do a mile that is very fast. It don't look that impressive. Like I thought I was going to watch a guy like sprinting backwards. It just looks like he's jogging. I'm just telling matter what it looks.

[Mike]

Like, if he's running a sub 6 minute mile backwards, I can do this. You can't do it forwards, you already proclaimed.

[Andy]

Yeah, but I could do it backwards because I'm watching him. I think that's a cheat code. I think it's.

[Mike]

Are we doing it wrong?

[Andy]

I think we're doing it wrong because he's making it look real easy. I mean it's just like you're just, you're just moving backwards.

[Jason]

So which one are you taking?

[Andy]

I'm going to move backwards because I have to have my words.

[Mike]

That is like one of the definitions of if someone is really good at something. It looks easy.

[Andy]

Yeah, I can do this. I could, I mean Just, just watch the videos. You can do it too. All you got to do is watch this guy do it.

[Jason]

You'd be one of the people participating in this dumb event.

[Mike]

And then you're.

[Jason]

Which is only a few and you're one of the best in the world.

[Andy]

Yeah. You're automatically in the top 100.

[Jason]

Every person out there. If you run home backwards today, you're in the best of the world.

[Andy]

Yes, you are.

[Jason]

All right, Gus from X says, would you rather beat a very old person in a match of pickleball? So 75 years old, done that before and have to yell you suck after every point you score or lose to a 12 year old kid that yells you suck every time he scores on you.

[Mike]

Oh, man, this one's so easy.

[Andy]

This is.

[Jason]

Families are present for both situations.

[Mike]

So easy.

[Andy]

This is super easy.

[Jason]

And I think Jason will say he's going to beat. The old.

[Mike]

Old man's going in a body bag.

[Andy]

I am going to make him feel.

[Mike]

I'm going to hit him with the ball.

[Andy]

I'm going to make him feel young by how much trash I talk to this man. I'm going to show him that. Look, I'm not giving you special treatment, grandpa.

[Mike]

No, I'm giving you like an equal. Yeah, but we are not equals.

[Andy]

But we are not equals based on the score. You suck, gramps. Why are you here, Grandpa? I'm going to be the obnoxious one with the W's.

[Jason]

Well, I knew that was your answer.

[Mike]

That was.

[Jason]

So you didn't need to define the age of the person across the. I mean, it could be a hundred, right? You're not changing the answer?

[Andy]

No, I'm not changing the answer.

[Jason]

I cannot do that. The shame I would feel. I have such a deep, deep sense of respect. Your elders just built into me. I would feel so. The 12 year old kid yelling, you suck. I leave that match and I just think that kid is the worst and his whole life's going to suck because.

[Andy]

He acts and all. That's true. And you lost to that kid.

[Mike]

I promise.

[Jason]

Fine.

[Mike]

No, it's not fine. It is. It is not fine. Have, like, have what have you. Are you, do you have any competitions with your children right now? Which they are. They can beat you. When you're trying, they can beat you.

[Jason]

Yeah. My, my, my 13 year old could beat me at chess. Okay.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Mike]

How's just losing? Just losing. And he says nothing. How has that felt?

[Jason]

Not good.

[Mike]

Okay, now throw in. Every time you make a move on that chessboard, he goes and take Away. Oh, my God, you idiot.

[Andy]

And take away that it's your child. You don't love this kid. You hate this kid. And he's. He's.

[Jason]

I can't be the one that did that to an old person. I can't.

[Andy]

No, I can. I could teach you how. I could teach you how.

[Jason]

I know you can.

[Andy]

No, no, no.

[Jason]

You probably do this weekly.

[Andy]

Look, here's how you do it before and after the game. You are Mr. Respect your elders. You go up, you open the door, you give a hearty handshake, you say, it's so great to see you again. You know, Eugene, you know, it's. I love playing with you. I'm so happy you're here. I hope that when I'm your age, I'm in the same shape, you know, all of these type of things. And then it's ding, ding, ding goes the boxing. Ring bell. And when that game is on, you getting it?

[Mike]

Get into the arena, let's play.

[Andy]

And then he's going to respect you more.

[Jason]

Yeah, I don't buy any of that. I'm doing the one where I get beat by the kid.

[Andy]

I'm doing the one where I am the kid.

[Jason]

I mean, that's a fair answer.

[Mike]

I. I am telling you that. Look, I play video games with my son, and there are some games he can beat me at. He doesn't regularly, but he can. And when he does, oh, I hear all about it. And when you're down at halftime and your child is giving you the business, it is a. It's a level of rage that you have never felt in your entire life. A child telling you how bad you are at something.

[Jason]

I mean, I just. Yeah, okay. That guy's.

[Mike]

What?

[Jason]

What?

[Mike]

Okay, respect. What has he done? Other than he's made it to 75? What's he done for you?

[Andy]

Also, how long can he hate you?

[Mike]

Was he in the Great War? Did he help you out?

[Jason]

Probably.

[Mike]

No, probably not.

[Andy]

Yeah, probably not. I'm with you, Mike. Probably not. He's probably a coward. Yeah, he ducked out.

[Mike]

She's a draft dodger. Yeah, this guy didn't go nuts.

[Andy]

There's a reason he made it to 75.

[Jason]

If you're 75, there's a chance I kill you in this match, Gramps.

[Andy]

You got to follow it with Gramps.

[Mike]

Make better choices.

[Jason]

All right, Gus from Twitter. That was your question. I'm going. We know how these two are going. Finn from Patreon. Would you rather work five hours a day cleaning portal potties?

[Andy]

Oh, no.

[Jason]

Or be A professional mover for 10 hours a day, you make the same amount of money.

[Mike]

That's a lot more time.

[Andy]

That's a lot more time.

[Jason]

A mover, man.

[Andy]

Yeah, I mean, I will, you know, I actually, I want to talk about something because my first thought here was if I'm a professional mover, I'm moving furniture 10 hours a day, five days a week. That's a. That's a long job. I'm going to be in great shape. That physical activity. I recently moved. I can't believe the human. And they did an awesome job. I mean, I went and I left a review online. These guys were amazing. There are some big fatties. I'm talking like, I'm talking. I can't believe this guy has a job moving furniture.

[Al]

Oh, dude.

[Andy]

This was not like, I'm overweight. He's a big fatty. I'm talking like Gargoon Debuss. Like, this dude was enormous. And I was just shocked. And he. Hard worker, worked non stop. He was amazing.

[Jason]

Like, he shouldn't be that big.

[Andy]

I don't know how.

[Jason]

Because you should be in shape from the 10 hours of moving.

[Andy]

So impressive, man. I mean, they're packing lunches. They're not like going to McDonald's. They brought it in like a little paper bag.

[Mike]

How is this what McDonald's comes in?

[Andy]

Well, okay, that's fair. But I'm just saying. I'm saying I feel like you got to eat 100,000 calories a day to do the workout and the work that he is doing.

[Jason]

Maybe it was his first day.

[Andy]

I asked him.

[Jason]

Okay.

[Andy]

No, I just. I was. No, I had to know. I mean, I. No, this was. This was not framed poorly. This was like, how long have you worked here?

[Mike]

But your attention. No.

[Andy]

Well, sure, behind the scenes. But it was just like I asked all, I asked them all.

[Jason]

I was gonna say, did you ask everybody?

[Andy]

No, I asked everybody. I was like, cumulonimbus. No, because we. I liked these guys. I actually kept in contact with one of them. Like, they were awesome. And. And I was just like, how long have you worked here? It was like four years. And I was surprised because it was incredible. And then there was a different guy. A different guy. Skinniest, tiniest stick I've ever seen. Also working there. They all do everything. They all just grab all the heavy furniture and move it.

[Jason]

So how often, I mean, did they work? Nonstop.

[Andy]

Nonstop, Nonstop.

[Jason]

That's what I mean. Like, moving. When I move a friend, I move something. I get a drink. I move something.

[Andy]

Grab a Slice of pizza. Because you know, he ordered pizza.

[Jason]

Yeah. I sit on some piece of the truck, some corner of the truck for.

[Mike]

A minute, looking good and.

[Andy]

Oh, I got a text that just came in.

[Jason]

So I was wondering like, if I'm moving like that. That's only five hours of moving in a ten hour day.

[Andy]

No, no, no. These guys were moving. So I do not. I no longer believe.

[Jason]

Atrocious.

[Andy]

Yeah, I'm not doing that.

[Mike]

Do any.

[Jason]

How many hours of Porta Potty would it take in a reduction to choose Porta Potty? Would you do an hour of Porta potty a day versus 10 hour moving? I feel like yes.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Mike]

I'm even the dude. Five or ten hours you're considering port.

[Andy]

What is cleaning a porta Potty?

[Jason]

I was going to ask.

[Al]

Yeah.

[Mike]

What kind of tools do I get?

[Andy]

And you're not. Am I cleaning it out?

[Jason]

No, no, you're just cleaning the inside of it.

[Mike]

You're not dumping toilet.

[Jason]

And then when you're done with that one, you go to the next one. So all the interior plastic, the porcelain.

[Mike]

So like, am I. Can I just like pressure wash this thing with a, with some soapy water?

[Jason]

You have to be in it.

[Andy]

Yeah. This is good. You got, you can have gloves, but I'm also. But you got a, you got a spray bottle.

[Mike]

I'm gonna be wearing something on my face?

[Jason]

I think not. Why not?

[Andy]

I think you're not, you're just not.

[Jason]

Allowed to in this example.

[Mike]

Oh, that seems dangerous. I'm calling osha.

[Jason]

Oh, because of the chemical.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Andy]

I feel like you could both.

[Mike]

The chemical poop.

[Andy]

The chemical poop. What about like the clothespin on the nose? Yeah, you could do that. Right?

[Jason]

Because it's painful.

[Mike]

That's not going to help very much though.

[Andy]

That's going to help tremendously.

[Jason]

Like, are you 5 and 10? You're taking the 10 movie, then you're.

[Mike]

Just, you're just huffing.

[Andy]

I'm taking the 10. I'm taking the two hours in the.

[Jason]

Porta Potty or 10 movie.

[Mike]

Porta Potty.

[Jason]

Yeah, me too.

[Andy]

So what's the number?

[Mike]

I'm doing the five and you're doing the five. Either way, every five days a week, 10 hours of moving, you get tips. I'm not worried about what shape. I mean, I'm worried about my back.

[Andy]

That's fair. Will be toast.

[Jason]

Yeah, yeah. Not a joke. We had movers from my parents about a year ago. Amazing job, same situation. None of them were enormous as you described.

[Andy]

He was gigantic.

[Jason]

But I talked to Them. And it was like one of the guys accidentally left their tools there at my parents house. So we called him and we said, hey, you left your tool bag. This is a bunch of expensive tools, disassembling furniture, all this stuff.

[Mike]

Bunch of Allen wrenches, tool bag.

[Jason]

Sat there for, I don't know, five months.

[Andy]

Wow.

[Jason]

Six months. Finally he calls and says, can I come get the tools? We're like, yeah, where you been? So I broke my back. I broke my back moving. So to Mike's point, he broke his back and then he. Six months later, he was back in the business.

[Andy]

All right.

[Mike]

Your back, your knees, your body will be toast. Huh?

[Jason]

Okay.

[Andy]

And either one of these, you're going to need a shower after your job.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Could you.

[Andy]

All right, Give me the porta Potty.

[Jason]

Okay. Can I. Can I sidebar for a second? Because I think I just invented a new business.

[Andy]

Oh, dude, I love.

[Mike]

Let's go. Make sure you register it first.

[Jason]

Andy's moving.

[Mike]

Why is it Andy?

[Andy]

Can it be our group thing?

[Jason]

Spitballers Movers Association.

[Mike]

There we go.

[Jason]

We come out, we will quote your job.

[Mike]

Mm.

[Jason]

And then we will sell it to another mover and be in the middle.

[Andy]

Okay. You know what I mean? I feel like this is very common in almost every industry.

[Mike]

I haven't heard about it for movers, though.

[Andy]

I mean, that's literally what, basically a moving company.

[Mike]

Like, if you own the moving company and you're not the one doing the moving.

[Andy]

Right.

[Mike]

Then this is what you're doing.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Pretty basic lead generation, really. It's really just a normal business.

[Andy]

Yeah. And then if it goes well enough, instead of. Instead of outsourcing it, I'll hire my own staff.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Andy]

And then I'll have a moving company.

[Jason]

All right. Do we need to move on, Al? I think so. Do you want another question or you want to move on?

[Al]

Let's move on.

[Jason]

Oh, thank you.

[Mike]

Thank you.

[Jason]

This episode is supported by prize picks. With high pressure playoff matchups every weekend and elite hoops action on almost every night, the action never stops. And with prizepix, you're in control. Prizepix now has early payouts. I just found out about this. If your player gets off to a hot start, you now have the option to cash out those winnings before the game ever finishes. And with new Social Feeds feature, you can share prize picks with your friends and copy lineups from winners with a single click. We've been doing that around the office a little bit, and I've been following everybody except for Al Borland. I don't follow Al Borland and I will not accept his friend request. How simple was it to get started on prize picks? As easy as it can be. I love the way they do the app. It makes the sport watching experience just a little bit more fun. And their app is just clean, it's easy to use. That's not something you find everywhere. Obviously we love the football, but I'm a basketball fan. I'm a baseball fan as well. You can download the prize picks app today and use the code spitballers to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup. That's the code spitballers to get $50 in Lineups after you play your first $5 lineup. Prize picks. It's good to be right. What's up spitwads? People keep asking about my 20, 26 resolutions and I've got the usual goals, you know, like read, read a bunch of books, you know, that type of thing. Keep yourself in shape. But I got a new one at the top of my list. It is get comfy. And that is where Bombas comes in. They're bringing serious comfort to all of your everyday go tos. Maybe this is the year you take up running or tennis or in my case, play more pickleball. And I've been wearing the all new Bombas sport socks and they are perfect and they are perfectly comfortable. They're sweat wicking and cushioned where you need them most. They keep you comfy and locked in and they've also got you covered with the comfiest everyday footwear imaginable. Look, I love all of my Bombas products, all of my socks, so comfortable, an actual noticeable difference. And they've got the Sunday slippers. They got all sorts of great stuff. Head over to bombas.com spitballers and use the code spitballers for 20% off your first purchase. That's B O M b-s.com spitballers code spitballers at checkout. You're going to love it.

[Al]

Man of the people.

[Jason]

All right, we're going to play some man of the people. Al's going to explain how it works to us.

[Al]

Yeah, this went well last time.

[Andy]

So we'll see.

[Al]

We pulled 100 people. The top six answers are on the board. You get three points if you get the first answer, two points if you get the second answer, one point for any other answer. We're going to do seven rounds. Seven seventh round is worth double points.

[Andy]

All right.

[Al]

Does that all make sense?

[Jason]

Who won last time? You did.

[Al]

Oh, you Were the man of the beach.

[Jason]

I thought that might be.

[Andy]

You knew that.

[Jason]

I guessed. I had a guess. I knew. You lost. All right.

[Al]

All right.

[Jason]

Round one.

[Al]

Round one.

[Jason]

Hands on the table.

[Al]

That's right. Other than swimsuits, name something people wear to the beach.

[Jason]

Sunglasses.

[Al]

That is the number two answer.

[Andy]

Okay.

[Jason]

Okay.

[Mike]

Flip flops.

[Al]

That is the number one answer.

[Mike]

You're done, right? It is. Let's go.

[Jason]

Interesting. Very nice, Mike.

[Andy]

Jason, sunscreen.

[Al]

That is the number three.

[Mike]

That's a good answer. Top three.

[Andy]

We got the top three.

[Mike]

That's got to be the first time ever.

[Andy]

Definitely is.

[Jason]

I'm actually impressed with this.

[Mike]

What was on the list?

[Andy]

I also have tank tops.

[Jason]

I would say a towel.

[Al]

So, yeah, you got the top three. And then hat was number four, Towel was number five, and shorts. Tank top was number six.

[Andy]

Okay. We crushed that. Fellas.

[Jason]

You guys, very nice. We're men of the people, of course.

[Al]

All right, so we got a score of Mike with three, Andy with two, Jason with one. Going into round two, name the heaviest item that you might buy at the grocery store.

[Andy]

I'm going to go with a sack of potatoes.

[Al]

That is the number three answer.

[Andy]

Garch, again.

[Al]

Gosh.

[Jason]

I'm going to go with a watermelon.

[Al]

A watermelon is the number one answer?

[Andy]

Yeah. A sack of potatoes is heavier than a watermelon.

[Al]

Hey, that's so stupid when it comes to people.

[Jason]

That's actually not. I mean, it depends how many potatoes you buy.

[Andy]

Water.

[Mike]

Like a. Like a jug of water.

[Al]

Gallon of milk or water is number two answer.

[Andy]

We did it again.

[Mike]

One, two, three. Baby. Oh, man.

[Andy]

I keep eating three.

[Jason]

Why can I swap to.

[Mike]

That's good. Because I couldn't think of anything besides the. Is bag of salt on there?

[Andy]

Yeah, that was. That was.

[Al]

No, the other three answers.

[Jason]

Flour. Flour. A turkey rice, a bag of pet.

[Al]

Food, and cans of soda.

[Jason]

Oh, okay. Well, good thing we got the top notch.

[Mike]

I knew the salt would not be on there, but as soon as I thought of it, I'm like, that's by far the heaviest.

[Andy]

100%. That's 50 pounds. I wanted to say. I wanted to say the bag of salt. That was the first thing that you.

[Jason]

Like, salt for soft water.

[Andy]

Oh, yeah, Because I hate getting those because they're.

[Mike]

Because they're so heavy.

[Andy]

40 or 60 pounds.

[Jason]

Right. So two times in a row, we've gotten the top three answers.

[Mike]

Oh, gosh.

[Al]

Let's keep running. That's correct. So Andy and Mike are tied with five. Jason has some work to do.

[Jason]

Shut up.

[Al]

He's at £2.

[Andy]

Next question.

[Al]

Yes, sir. Name a place where it would be rude to laugh.

[Andy]

A funeral.

[Al]

A funeral is the number three answer.

[Andy]

No. Are you.

[Al]

I'm just kidding. It's the number one.

[Jason]

Okay.

[Andy]

I was like, that's gotta be the. Okay. I'm. I'm back, baby. Okay.

[Al]

Nobody else buzzing in.

[Andy]

Give him a timer, man.

[Jason]

Four.

[Andy]

Three, dude. Two.

[Mike]

A very serious play. I don't know.

[Al]

A serious play or movie is the number six answer.

[Jason]

Wait, number six? That's not on the top five, right?

[Al]

We have six on this one. All these ones have six.

[Jason]

Oh, do they really?

[Andy]

Wait, he said a and it was the same verb.

[Al]

It literally says serious play or movie.

[Andy]

That's gotta be. Worked for Mike. You get two. I will vote to give you two for that.

[Jason]

Do I have to give an answer? I will say a courtroom.

[Al]

Courtroom was the number five answer. So you and Mike each got one point. Unless we're awarding Mike with a photo.

[Mike]

I don't want it.

[Jason]

All right. That is amazing that it was very.

[Mike]

Serious play you threw off.

[Andy]

Just like. I have no idea. Some kind of serious play.

[Mike]

I didn't know how to say it. Cause it's like, if you're. At first, I wanted to say you're at a theater, like. Well, no, People laugh all the time. You're at a show, people laugh all the time. But if you're at a dramatic play, it's. What were the other answers?

[Al]

So funeral number one. Church number two. Library three.

[Jason]

Oh, library's good.

[Al]

Hospital number four.

[Jason]

All right.

[Al]

Courtroom number five. And serious play or movie number six.

[Jason]

All right.

[Mike]

Those people don't know what the best medicine is, apparently.

[Jason]

All right, after.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Al]

So through three rounds at the hospital, we still got a tie. Andy and Mike with six, but Jason is now right behind.

[Andy]

Let's go, baby.

[Mike]

What a game.

[Andy]

Also, we're three rounds in and all three of us on the board each time.

[Al]

You guys are.

[Jason]

Don't jinx it.

[Al]

All right, round four. Name something your wife asks you to do that your mom also asked you to do.

[Andy]

I'm going to say take out the garbage.

[Al]

That is the number two answer.

[Andy]

All right. Not three.

[Jason]

Wash the dishes.

[Al]

That is the number three answer.

[Andy]

Mike, the number one's out there.

[Mike]

Just general cleaning, or do I have to be more.

[Al]

Clean up after yourself is the number one answer.

[Andy]

Oh, we did three of our four categories. We've gone 1, 2, 3. I'm so impressed with us.

[Al]

Great work. The ones you missed on that were laundry. Make your bed and eat better.

[Andy]

Oh, yeah.

[Jason]

Fair enough.

[Al]

All right, so through four rounds, we're.

[Mike]

Already at the highest scoring game ever.

[Andy]

We have to be.

[Al]

You're probably right. Mike is out ahead with nine points. Andy and Jason tied with seven points.

[Andy]

What round is this? Five.

[Al]

We're going into five.

[Andy]

So we got three full rounds to go. All right.

[Al]

And last round will be worth double, so definitely anybody's game. Name something a girl would need if she wanted to impersonate an elderly woman.

[Jason]

I'll say a pair of glasses.

[Al]

Glasses is the number three answer.

[Mike]

A wig.

[Al]

A gray wig is the number one answer.

[Mike]

Boom shakalaka.

[Andy]

I'm gonna say four.

[Al]

Three. Old.

[Andy]

Dressed.

[Al]

Literally, old dress is the number four answer.

[Andy]

All right, baby.

[Jason]

What?

[Al]

Oh, that's funny.

[Jason]

Is Kane on there?

[Al]

Kane is the number two answer.

[Andy]

That was.

[Jason]

Yeah, I'm mad. Kane was going to be the first thing out of my mouth. And then I went, wow, those old glasses, though.

[Mike]

Pearl necklace.

[Al]

A purse was the number five answer. And then a shawl or scarf was the number six answer.

[Mike]

All right, all right.

[Andy]

Okay.

[Jason]

Dang it. Mike's got a big shawl.

[Mike]

Yeah, you got to have that.

[Al]

Through five rounds, Mike has 12. Andy and Jason still tied with eight. We are moving on to round six. Name something.

[Andy]

Gotta reset the buttons.

[Al]

I got you. Name something that gets thrown.

[Andy]

A ball.

[Al]

A ball is the number one answer. What?

[Andy]

What else do you throw?

[Jason]

Frisbee.

[Al]

A Frisbee is the number two answer.

[Mike]

Excellent.

[Andy]

Good job.

[Mike]

Andy, you throw four.

[Al]

Three.

[Andy]

Two insults.

[Al]

One what?

[Mike]

I don't know, man.

[Al]

Insult. Not on the board.

[Mike]

Oh, you're the first.

[Jason]

All right. We had paper airplane.

[Andy]

Yeah, that was what I was thinking.

[Al]

Also not on the board. We had ball, Frisbee, party, darts, a tantrum, and then throwing the game.

[Andy]

I. I actually thought about throwing the game as, like, a joke answer. It was actually.

[Jason]

So wait, is this the final round? It is 10, 11, 12. So anybody can win? That is correct, because it's double points. Yep.

[Al]

We got Mike with 12, Jason with 11, Andy with 10. This is worth double anybody's game. Name a US city that begins with.

[Jason]

The letter B. Boise.

[Al]

Boise is the number four answer.

[Andy]

Oh, that sucks.

[Jason]

Boston.

[Al]

Boston is the number one answer.

[Andy]

Yeah. Another B. I got one. That's way better than Boise.

[Al]

What about you, Mike?

[Mike]

Four, three. Can't think of anything.

[Al]

Two.

[Andy]

Ravens. One.

[Mike]

Oh, Baltimore.

[Al]

Baltimore is the number two answer.

[Jason]

Wait, they just gave him the win.

[Mike]

You just gave him the win? Gave me the tie.

[Al]

No, it gave me the tie.

[Mike]

I'm not going to take it.

[Jason]

I didn't think of it.

[Mike]

That was Jason's answer.

[Jason]

That's okay. I don't care. That was a funny. That was the highest.

[Mike]

Enough.

[Andy]

Why did I go Boise?

[Jason]

And you screamed Boise. I was like, thank you.

[Andy]

So here's what I thought. Here's. Here's how my thought process worked. Whoever gets number one wins, right? Whoever gets.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Jason]

So you're gonna hit it no matter what.

[Andy]

I had so fast, and because it was so such a clear, like, you know what comes to mind, I just blurted out the first thing. I didn't even think about it.

[Jason]

This is how long we've all worked and been together is we're sitting there, hands on the table, getting ready to push the button, and all I'm thinking is Jason would logically hit this as fast as possible without an answer, knowing that it would give him an advantage on the final question.

[Andy]

I should have got the green, which I got, and then thought because Boston was clear.

[Jason]

Yeah, you stopped the thinking.

[Andy]

Yeah, I did.

[Mike]

But you did get Boise.

[Andy]

So wait, I don't get second.

[Mike]

You do.

[Andy]

You do. Oh, okay.

[Mike]

I don't. I don't take that.

[Jason]

All right. All right.

[Al]

Andy, your second consecutive man of the people.

[Jason]

Congratulations.

[Mike]

Congratulations.

[Jason]

The best part of that is that I think that was my first lead of the entire match.

[Mike]

Yeah, I got the number one answer many times. Yeah, like three or four times there.

[Jason]

You just needed to remember to throw a party.

[Mike]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jason]

All right, quick break. Back with the draft. Save over $200 when you book weekly stays with VRBO this winter. If you need to work, why not work from a chalet? If you haven't seen your college besties since, well, college. You need a week to fully catch up in a snowy cabin.

[Mike]

And if you have to stay in.

[Jason]

A remote place with your in laws, you should save over $200 a week. That's the least we can do. So you might as well start digging out the long johns because saving over $200 on a week long snowcation rental is in the cards book [e-mail].

[Mike]

The Lowe's Closeout event means the final savings of the season are here. It's your last chance to get deals on seasonal decor, tools, flooring, and so much more. Refresh your home, check off your project list or simply stock up on the brands you trust. Shop now to grab amazing deals before they're gone Loaves. We help you save ballot through 1 7. Selection varies by location while supplies last.

[Andy]

The Spitballers draft.

[Jason]

Alrighty. We are doing something a little different today. People love the battle Royale Drafts. They love the opportunity for us to, you know, we select our four different picks, our warriors in the coliseum. And so today we are stepping into that fabled, beautiful, majestic coliseum, and we are drafting people or characters, things that start with the letter G. Oh, man.

[Andy]

For a Battle Royale.

[Jason]

For a Battle Royale. So we are fighting one another, and we can take characters, animals, whatever the case may be, put four of them into the ring, who will come out on top. Now, I have the first pick, and I'm not sure I'm going to make the best pick here, but I have to wait quite a while to get my next pick, and I'm afraid that maybe it'll be gone. So with the number one pick of our letter G, Battle Royale. I need myself a wizard. So I'm going Gandalf. Okay. Gandalf is my number one pick.

[Andy]

He was my number two.

[Jason]

I want Gandalf leading the charge.

[Mike]

He's nice and old, very slow, can be easily defeated by what's the.

[Jason]

What's the Balrock.

[Mike]

But, yeah, good luck on the B draft. And he'll be in the arena. Yeah. Well, good luck on the G draft because I will take. Guess who's back, baby? I will take the genie. Thank you.

[Andy]

Oh, that's a good one. Not even on my list.

[Jason]

You know, it was on my list, and it was on my first list, and I just deleted it. I was like, what?

[Mike]

You didn't want him?

[Jason]

I just didn't feel like taking him.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Andy]

All right.

[Mike]

Well, thank you.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Mike]

The genie's back.

[Al]

I believe that's the fourth time he's been drafted.

[Andy]

This is great in the sense that I only had two that I thought were excellent, like a 1 and a 2, and I didn't have Jeannie on my list. So you allowed what was my number one pick to come to me? Look, I don't have the magic that you guys have, but you're going to need the magic, because I got Godzilla. Yeah.

[Mike]

He was my number two pick.

[Jason]

Yeah. Yep.

[Andy]

I got the size and the tail, and I'm doing the, like, I. The lightning out of the mouth thing.

[Jason]

Whatever.

[Andy]

All the things he does, I got it all.

[Jason]

I got the size and the tail. That's what they say about Godzilla.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Mike]

He is a very big creature.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Andy]

All righty. So now I'm looking at other G characters.

[Jason]

You knew what we were doing before.

[Andy]

Yeah, no, I've got my list. I got my list. It's not sorted very well.

[Jason]

Okay.

[Andy]

And there's just such a tier break, so you guys have this Magic. And I feel like I've got to compete with that.

[Jason]

The tail's not enough.

[Andy]

The tail's not enough. I can't just be physical. I've got to have a superpower. So I'm going to take a superhero. I don't think this one will do great in the polls based on box office results.

[Mike]

Oh, yeah, yeah. No, he's on my list.

[Andy]

But if you're talking actual victory in there, I think this guy's. This guy could single handedly take on your two guys. It's the Green Lantern.

[Mike]

Yeah. Greenland. I mean, he's tough because I feel.

[Jason]

Like it's just the superhero to make fun of.

[Andy]

Oh, for sure. That's why I'm saying a poll winner.

[Mike]

Like, I think that. I think the Green Green Lantern can actually be very powerful because it's so.

[Andy]

He can do anything he imagines.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Mike]

So as long as you're wearing the ring, you can.

[Jason]

Except for sell tickets, you can write.

[Mike]

Nice. Got him. You can you physically manifest whatever it is you think of? And like, are there. Are there limitations on that? Because I feel like I've seen a Green Lantern do something with projectiles.

[Jason]

Just a sidebar. This is the thing about superheroes and comics that I don't understand. As a medium fan of these movies, you have obviously Superman that can do everything, right. Like Superman. Is Superman boring. So he sucks and is boring, right?

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Then you have all these other popular superheroes. Iron Man. Right. Flying suit. A lot of limitations. Human can die. Wolverine, he's got the. He's got the healing, but he pretty much is just swinging around some knives. Right. So all these popular.

[Andy]

Don't discount that healing. That's why he's got the knives, the healing.

[Mike]

And I mean, he's also got super strength, super heightened abilities.

[Jason]

Okay, so maybe Wolverine's pretty cool, but like Cyclops, right? Shoots like a beam out of concussive blasts.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jason]

But then there's all these like side characters that are in barely any movies and comics, but they all have like abilities that break all of time and space.

[Andy]

Right. Like Green Lantern.

[Jason]

Like you're basically saying Green Lantern does that. And then there's other characters that can just stop time and there's other characters that can do everything in the entire world or move faster than it, but they're not popular. Is it because of the Superman thing where they're like too strong or they just don't have good lore? People just don't identify with it.

[Andy]

I think a lot of it's probably the outfit you Know what I mean? Like Green Lantern. Green Lantern looks so stupid.

[Mike]

It's. You got to have the cool factor.

[Jason]

That's Wolverine.

[Mike]

Wolverine, yeah.

[Jason]

He was my favorite of all time.

[Andy]

That hair, those chops.

[Mike]

Men our age who were got into that world at all, I mean, what the chances of. You just ask someone, be like, hey, who's your favorite superhero? Wolverine is going to, I bet, will come out 50% of the time.

[Jason]

He's my number one.

[Mike]

So he's good. But Green Lantern.

[Jason]

So I guess Batman. Batman also, same thing. Mortal, like totally. Pretty limited.

[Mike]

He's just the greatest detective.

[Andy]

Yeah, you want to be able to relate and think I could be a superhero.

[Jason]

So anyways, all that to say, your pick kind of sucks.

[Andy]

Thank you.

[Jason]

All right, Mike, you're up.

[Mike]

It's fine. All right, so you got Green Lantern and Godzilla. So I will. This is going to play really, really well on this show. Thankfully, Papa Josh is in the back. Hold it down for all the nerds.

[Jason]

Mike is so predictable.

[Mike]

Yeah, am I. Who am I gonna take? You're gonna.

[Jason]

Somebody.

[Andy]

Game reference.

[Mike]

No, this is. No, it's not obscure video game. It's. It's comic book related. Sort of obscure. We're gonna.

[Jason]

Well, I know who it is.

[Mike]

No, no.

[Jason]

Okay. That's the predictable part.

[Andy]

You have my guess.

[Mike]

You will learn about him in upcoming movies. But I'm gonna take Galactus.

[Andy]

Oh, that's a good pick.

[Mike]

Oh, hey, you're in it.

[Andy]

Oh, my gosh. I mean, he's swallowing worlds. Yeah, he is.

[Mike]

He could.

[Andy]

I mean, Godzilla's an ant. He's not on my list. I mean, you won.

[Jason]

I don't know who that is.

[Andy]

You won.

[Jason]

Does he fit in the Coliseum?

[Mike]

No.

[Andy]

Oh, he doesn't fit.

[Jason]

He's got to fit in the Coliseum.

[Andy]

I mean, he'll eat the Coliseum.

[Mike]

Godzilla doesn't fit in the Coliseum either.

[Jason]

They're supposed to be. Yeah, I'm sure he does. He fits in the Coliseum. No.

[Andy]

Yeah, he's probably.

[Mike]

I mean like up foot. A foot. Maybe one of his feet. Whatever. It's a real big coliseum. Make it bigger. Yes, because Galactus is coming in.

[Andy]

Dude, that's a pick, man. That is a pick.

[Jason]

I don't know who it is. So I had Godzilla on the list. I got to pick a couple of selections here. I need something for Gandalf to ride, so I'm going to give him a grizzly bear. We got a grizzly bear. Okay, it's not going to fit your eating galaxies, but I was thinking more fighting in the arena. So that's what all my picks are. So. And then I will also go with Goliath.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Jason]

I will go with a grizzly bear and Goliath.

[Mike]

All right.

[Jason]

All right.

[Mike]

Hopefully there's no pillars there. We don't get smooshed. Oh, no, I'm thinking of Samson.

[Jason]

What do you want?

[Mike]

I went Samson. I totally did.

[Andy]

Andy and I both were just like, what are you talking about? I don't remember Goliath with a pillar.

[Jason]

No, that's fair enough.

[Mike]

The pillars are fine.

[Andy]

Don't shave Goliath's head. Watch out.

[Jason]

All right, so grizzly bear and then Goliath.

[Andy]

Man, you made fun of Green Lantern. Because I think you took dude and a bear.

[Jason]

Yeah. I thought we were just, like, you know, normal people fighting in this.

[Mike]

I heard characters. So I have a list of characters.

[Andy]

You started with a wizard.

[Jason]

He fits in the arena.

[Mike]

He fits with, hey, maybe the arenas. The universe. Or no, just. We can go the solar system. Galactus fits.

[Jason]

A bunch of weirdos. All right.

[Mike]

Yeah, speaking of weirdos, I'll take Goku.

[Andy]

Yeah, that's who I thought your last one was going to be.

[Mike]

Oh, man. Hopefully the. Hopefully the nerds come out for the polls because this team is dominating.

[Andy]

I mean, look, honestly, after Galactus, it's pretty much.

[Mike]

I think Goku could take Galactus.

[Al]

Really?

[Mike]

Yeah, I do.

[Andy]

I mean, I guess when you factor in, like, who has to win. Galactus a bad guy, so he ends up losing all the time.

[Mike]

Is he a bad guy or is he just misunderstood?

[Andy]

No, he's a bad guy. He's straight up bad guy. Is he? I think so. I don't know.

[Jason]

I think he's made up. I've never heard of him before.

[Andy]

So this was good one. So on this show. This is the show where we drafted in one of these Battle Royales a long years and years ago. And Mike, you brought up a name. You drafted this guy.

[Mike]

Oh, crap.

[Andy]

One Punch, man.

[Mike]

Oh, yes, yes.

[Andy]

And there was. And that was when Andy and I were crickets. We'd never heard of One Punch. And, you know, it's like, oh, he can beat anyone with one punch. What a stupid character. Can't believe you drafted him. And then I proceeded to watch.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Watch it and love it. And it's a great pick. Yes. All right, so I'm on the clock. I had a. Everything. Everything feels slightly inferior now. However, I want to remind you, if you don't remember your Harry Potter lore, one of the most powerful wizards was Ginny Weasley. Yes. It's the younger sister of Ron. Spoiler. The F. Future wife of Harry. Ginny is a powerhouse.

[Mike]

Is this well known for any Harry.

[Andy]

Potter nerd out there? Yes. Ginny Weasley, this is Andy.

[Mike]

Andy is a devastated man.

[Andy]

She is a sensational powerhouse.

[Mike]

Is this from the books?

[Andy]

Yeah, yeah, it's in the books, in the movies.

[Mike]

Ginny Weasley's awesome. What makes her so powerful?

[Andy]

Magic. Well, I mean, I don't know what makes Dumbledore powerful. It's just like he was born with extra magic. I don't know.

[Jason]

You guys suck.

[Andy]

I like this draft.

[Jason]

All right, Ginny Weasley.

[Andy]

Hey, dude, you want to fight Ginny Weasley in a coliseum? You're going to lose.

[Mike]

Now, we're sure that's a G? Yeah. Okay.

[Andy]

It's not Jenny.

[Mike]

I read the books say those two names back to back.

[Andy]

It's this name, Jenny Weasley, not Jenny Weasley. Do you hear the difference? Yeah, because I said it perfect.

[Mike]

Oh, I know.

[Jason]

I just.

[Andy]

I see how you could. I see how you could not understand. All right, so I've got one more, right?

[Jason]

Mm.

[Andy]

There's a lot of cool people. I could take some fun.

[Jason]

Gilbert Godfrey.

[Andy]

Oh. Annoy him to death, everyone. That's the way to beat Galactus. You just run away. Galactus, I'm gonna take. I'm gonna take someone with actual. You know, this is a killer. This is someone who knows how to fight and he's not afraid to take your life, Right? Taking Ghostface.

[Mike]

Okay, okay.

[Jason]

I don't know who any of you.

[Andy]

Know who Ghost Face is. Ghost faces screaming. The bad guy in Scream.

[Jason]

Okay, I know that.

[Andy]

That's Ghostface. He'll stab you to death. Yeah.

[Jason]

I am so sorry, everybody. This is on me.

[Andy]

I'm loving this draft.

[Mike]

I asked for rules, and I was told characters, animals, whatever you want.

[Jason]

Okay, Ghostface. Ghostface. Mike, what character are you about to invent?

[Mike]

Oh, it's not an invention. But why are we bringing Goku along? But we gotta bring the. Well, we gotta bring Gohan in here.

[Andy]

Gohan and Goku.

[Mike]

We got them both. Josh.

[Andy]

We did it. Oh, nerds are going to love your team, Mike.

[Mike]

They are.

[Jason]

All righty, I have. I'll just take a goose.

[Andy]

You're going to take George Washington. He's a general.

[Jason]

This is the worst.

[Mike]

Gary Shandling.

[Jason]

Fine. I'll take George Costanza with my partner. I'll take him with my final pick, George Costanza. Because why? Why not? And there you go. What a fight. This is going to be George Costanza versus Ghostface.

[Mike]

I apologize to the rest of my team when Galactus Eats everybody.

[Jason]

Oh my God.

[Andy]

What did we learn today?

[Mike]

You learned who Galactus was? Yeah, sort of.

[Jason]

There you go.

[Andy]

I learned that I would much rather be okay at something cool and popular than the best at something that is nonsense.

[Mike]

I learned very much would beat an old person at pickleball before I let a child beat me.

[Jason]

That'll do it for today's Spitballers, everybody. Thank you for listening. We'll do another episode at some point.

[Mike]

Goodbye.

[Andy]

Thanks for listening to the Spitballers podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out spitballerspod.com SA.