Bugger Eaters & Best Pasta Shapes - Comedy Podcast

Mon Apr 27 2026

This episode should come with a warning, but the laughter is guaranteed. Would You Rather throws things into chaos, Man of the People makes a return and we wrap things up with a Best Pasta Shapes Draft. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast!

Transcript

Jason (0:00)

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Jason (1:39)

What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. That was your best one. That was your best one. We're on a hot streak, people. Mike, you crushed my scat last week. Andy. Great. Mike. Next week's gonna be awesome. Two weeks from now. Stay tuned. It will be the first time that I will be scatting in years.

Andy (2:15)

I'm more willing to buy one of your scats if we get another one from you. Like, we need to break the street.

Jason (2:24)

I agree.

Mike (2:25)

I will say this. You have been auctioning, for lack of a better word, highest bidder, your scats off for. I mean, you're like, it's February.

Andy (2:42)

It's been since.

Jason (2:43)

It's at least multiple months.

Andy (2:44)

It's now April.

Summary

Spitballers Comedy Podcast

Episode: "Bugger Eaters & Best Pasta Shapes"
Date: April 27, 2026
Hosts: Andy, Mike, and Jason

Episode Overview

This riotous episode of the award-winning Spitballers Comedy Podcast delivers another dose of dad humor, ridiculous debates, and surprisingly in-depth discussion about unlikely topics. The trio tackles the infamous “booger eating question,” debates the ultimate pasta shapes, riffs on life's most embarrassing viral moments, and challenges each other's taste and intellect in their recurring “Man of the People” and “Spitballers Draft” segments. Delivered in the show’s signature clean and family-friendly tone, this episode is a buffet of running gags, zany analogies, and reliably unserious life advice.

Key Segments & Discussion Points

1. Opening Banter & “Scat” Negotiations

[01:39 - 05:02]

The show starts with playful jabs about past podcast intros ("scats") and a running joke about selling the rights to the next musical intro—price haggling escalates for comedic effect.
Producer “Papa Josh” becomes the butt of several jokes, especially around being a “man of honor” unwilling to take money for scats.
The hosts reflect on the time invested in recording the podcast (365 episodes!), poking fun at themselves and loyal listeners for “wasting” days of their lives.

Notable Quote:

“If you’ve heard it all, I want you to realize you’ve wasted one year of your life.” – Jason [05:08]

2. Would You Rather: Viral Embarrassment or Airing Marital Dirty Laundry

[05:46 - 14:30]

Main dilemma:
- Would you rather unwillingly go viral for a video of you picking and eating your nose at an intersection, or have every heated argument you’ve had with your wife sent as transcripts and footage to her parents?
Mike claims a "9.5" out of 10 as a husband, rarely gets into heated arguments, and would theoretically survive marital exposure.
Jason and Andy muse on relationships; Jason shares a management anecdote about the "jolly boss" who rarely gets angry, but when he does, everyone listens—drawing parallels to handling conflict at home.
Mike is called out for defending nose picking/booger eating, leading to a hilarious and detailed debate over whether “everyone does it” as a kid—Andy and Jason vehemently deny having ever eaten a booger, which is polled (and misspelled as "bugger") to the podcast's audience.

Memorable Exchange:

Andy: "Would you rather be seen eating my boogers? Because I have said some of the babiest stuff ever." [10:47]
Mike (defensively): "Who amongst us hasn't eaten their own boogers? Yeah." [06:11]

3. Backyard Dream: Mini Golf vs. Bowling Alley

[14:30 - 19:18]

Would you rather have a state-of-the-art 18-hole mini golf course in your backyard or a single-lane basement bowling alley?
The trio debates practicalities (weather in Arizona, needing friends to use a mini golf course), the novelty wears off, and the all-year usability of bowling alleys.
They reflect on the “equipment envy” seen in social media home tours, and the joys and limits of home entertainment features.

Quote:

Andy: "You imagine how boring...if you don’t have a friend coming over to enjoy this thing, you’re just a dork with a big backyard." [16:17]

4. Poll Fiasco: “Bugger” vs. “Booger”

[20:32 - 23:39]

Ongoing attempts to poll listeners re: booger consumption devolve into a spelling disaster as Jason repeatedly posts about “buggers” instead of “boogers.”
The rest of the crew gleefully roasts Jason for this, noting “bugger” is a swear word in the UK and that almost all poll responses comment on his mistake, not the actual question.

Memorable Moment:

Jason’s mounting exasperation leads to: “I am the stupidest man alive.” [30:46]

5. "Man of the People": Crowd-Sourced Survey Game

[27:22 - 39:25]

Players compete to guess the most popular answers collected by producer Jeremy ("Al Borland") from real people.
Questions include:
- What hurts to do with a headache? (Top: “Talk/yell”, “Look at bright lights”)
- Reasons to be nervous while driving. ("Weather conditions" number one, “Cop in rearview mirror” only #4)
- Items a girl might give back after breaking up.
- Children’s foods sold in cups (Jell-O, ice cream, mac and cheese)
The recurring chaos as Jason obsesses over spelling polls mid-segment is repeatedly mocked.
Eventually, Mike wins the game.

Humorous Highlight:

Jason’s stubborn polling, repeated spelling errors, and the crew’s running disbelief (“Unbelievable. I am the stupidest man alive.” [30:46])
Banter on returned breakup items: toothbrushes, keys, jacket, and especially the 1950s trope (letterman jacket).

6. The Spitballers Draft: "Best Pasta Shapes"

[41:46 - 59:15]

Each host picks their favorites in an Italian-style pasta shape fantasy draft. Top picks:
- Andy: Spaghetti, Fettuccine, Ravioli, Lasagna
- Mike: Macaroni, Angel Hair, Super Mario shapes, Cavatappi
- Jason: Bow tie (farfalle), Penne, O's (SpaghettiOs!), Fusilli
Spirited arguments erupt over what counts as the “best” shape:
- Jason defends bow tie and spiral/“fusilli” for their sauce-holding prowess, calls most other choices “Olive Garden” tier.
- Mike trolls by drafting “Super Mario” and jests about SpaghettiOs and novelty shapes.
- Debate arises over whether different shapes matter, if they’re “all the same,” and the fine art of proper mac and cheese.
The “booger/bugger” spelling saga continues in the background, as Jason provides poll updates.

Notable Quotes:

Jason: “Bow tie is the king of pasta shapes. King.” [44:59]
Mike: “I only buy angel hair. I don’t buy spaghetti. Spaghetti’s because angel hair, so much spaghetti. It’s just garbage.” [48:09]
Andy: “You cannot believe what he’s got—all my noodles. My shapes are a square and a round. Andy Holloway is a real Italian.” [51:24]

7. Pasta Masterclass: The Science of Sauce & Shape

[56:07 - 58:57]

Jason earnestly explains his take: thicker or “grippier” shapes (elbows, spirals) are best with creamy sauces, while thin/flat pastas are just bland “vehicles” for sauce.
Andy and Mike challenge this theory, but all ultimately agree spiral (fusilli), shells, and unique shapes excel at holding sauce.

8. Episode Wrap-Up: What Did We Learn?

[59:22 - 59:52]

Andy: “I learned that Jason—it takes him four tweets to learn how to spell something.”
Mike: “I learned that people still want to lie about eating their boogers.”
Jason: “I learned how to spell boogers: B O O G E R S.”

Notable Quotes (with Timestamps)

"If you’ve heard it all, I want you to realize you’ve wasted one year of your life." — Jason [05:08]
"Who amongst us hasn’t eaten their own boogers?" — Mike [06:11]
"You imagine how boring...if you don’t have a friend coming over to enjoy this thing, you’re just a dork with a big backyard." — Andy [16:17]
"I am the stupidest man alive." — Jason [30:46]
"Bow tie is the king of pasta shapes. King." — Jason [44:59]
“All my noodles. My shapes are a square and a round. Andy Holloway is a real Italian.” — Jason [51:24]

Timestamps for Key Segments

Scat Banter & Show Reflection: 01:39 – 05:02
Would You Rather (“Booger Eater”): 05:53 – 14:30
Backyard Mini-Golf vs. Bowling Alley: 14:30 – 19:18
Booger Poll Spelling Fiasco: 20:32 – 23:39, continues throughout
Man of the People Game: 27:22 – 39:25
Spitballers Draft: Pasta Shapes: 41:46 – 59:15
Food Science/Pasta Theory: 56:07 – 58:57
What Did We Learn?: 59:22 – 59:52

Tone & Style

The energy is boisterous and fast-paced, full of quick-witted digs and playful self-deprecation.
Humor is both highbrow (linguistic gags, meta-jokes) and lowbrow (booger debates, food fights).
Even the most inane debates—like spelling “booger” or the hierarchy of pasta—are taken to hilarious extremes.

Summary

This episode perfectly encapsulates why Spitballers repeatedly wins family comedy podcast honors: unpredictable hypotheticals, wild tangents, high-level goofing, self-aware dad jokes, and just enough sincerity to keep you rooting for all three hosts (even as they roast each other). Whether you’re here for arguments over pasta, the science behind booger-eating denial, or just need to laugh at spelling failures, this episode is a classic for both superfans and new listeners.