Burlap Boxers & Senior Citizen Battle Royale - Comedy Podcast

Summary

Spitballers Comedy Podcast – Episode 350

Title: Burlap Boxers & Senior Citizen Battle Royale
Release Date: December 15, 2025
Hosts: Andy, Mike, Jason

Episode Overview

This milestone 350th episode wraps classic Spitballers nonsense, hilarious hypotheticals, and wild debates into a family-friendly episode featuring the eternally silly trio. The big thematic centerpiece? A riotous drafting of the ultimate "Senior Citizen Battle Royale," picking famous celebrities (age 60+) for a no-holds-barred team throwdown. Along the way, the crew banters about uncomfortable fabrics, childhood underwear tragedies, and the true pain of Super Bowl losses.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Would You Rather: Burlap or Comfy Clothes?

[03:46–11:20]

• Question: Would you rather have the world’s nicest bedsheets but all your clothes (including underwear) are made of scratchy burlap, or have the world’s comfiest clothes but sleep on burlap bedding?
• The guys immediately recoil at the idea of burlap underwear.
  • Jason: “You don’t want it on my sensitives.” [04:02]
• Mike argues in favor of comfy daytime apparel, since you only have to deal with bed discomfort while asleep:
  • Mike: "While I'm asleep, I will not be experiencing the burlap...during the day, I will 100% be awake...Therefore, I'm choosing sleep." [05:54]
• Andy brings up the “full weight of your skin” on burlap bedsheets as a counter-argument, trying to poke holes in Mike's logic.
• The crew groans through vivid descriptions of burlap’s rough texture and speculate on hipster affection for burlap.
• Ultimately, none want to endure burlap underwear, so most side with sacrificing nighttime comfort for relief during waking hours.

Memorable Moment: Childhood Underwear Shame

[07:09–11:14]

Jason shares a traumatic childhood memory:

• Jason recounts being exposed for wearing cartoon “Underoos” in 6th grade PE class due to a hole in his shorts, inducing social exile and deep embarrassment.
  • Jason: “Here I am as a 40 plus year old man talking about this thing that was traumatic for me.” [09:50]

This sparks a debate on boxer briefs vs. boxers and the true function of underwear.

• Andy: "The purpose of underwear is to keep your shorts cleanish." [10:51]

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2. Would You Rather: Superbowl Seats or Secret Win?

[11:20–16:16]

• Question: Would you take front row 50-yard line seats to watch your favorite team lose 56–0 in the Super Bowl, or watch them win on your phone while sitting at your niece’s kindergarten performance?
• The hosts unambiguously prefer a secret, remote win over the agony of witnessing a loss firsthand.
• Emotional, personal stories about Super Bowl attendance underscore the stress of being truly invested:
  • Mike: “I leave, I become clinically depressed...a week later...my wife’s brother asks, ‘what’s wrong with Mike?’” [14:23]
  • Andy: "The best way to go to a Super Bowl is to go to one where your team is not in it, because I had a blast. There was no...nothing could hurt me." [16:01]

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3. Would You Rather: No Soap vs. No Toothpaste

[16:16–20:12]

• Question: Would you rather permanently give up soap and shampoo, or toothpaste?
• Consensus: Toothpaste is overrated! The hosts reason that brushing sans toothpaste is tolerable, but living without soap and shampoo is unfathomable.
  • Jason: “How much is toothpaste actually doing?” [16:33]
  • Mike: “You can still brush your teeth.” [16:44]
  • (Jokes about “Big Toothpaste” overhyping the product abound.)
• Andy riffs on soap being "mind-blowing" for its germ-fighting effect:
  • Andy: "Soap blows my mind, man." [19:40]

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4. Guess Guess Goose Game

[24:04–45:59]

A running segment where the crew sets and guesses the percentage of people who do quirky or common things, with the aim to avoid "the goose" (i.e., being the loser).
Some technical snafus ensue with the answers, leading to a mock roast of the substitute producer ("Papa Josh").

Sample Questions & Timestamps:

• Drinking Milk after Cereal: 73% say yes. [25:08–28:01]
• Regularly Pee in the Shower: A surprisingly high 62%! [28:27–31:12]
  • Jason: “You get in there…I can’t help it. The temperature of the shower…” [31:39]
• Choosing Hot Salsa: Only 24% opt for hot as their default. [32:17–33:45]
  • Mike: “Hot sauce is a brag worthy thing. I eat salsa in the shower.” [32:41]
• Ignoring Pennies on the Ground: 44% ignore them, 56% pick up pennies. [34:07–36:02]
• Blood Draw from Right Arm: 25% prefer the right. [39:08–40:23]
• Electric vs. Manual Razors: Only 38% of men prefer electric. [41:45–42:41]
  • Andy (joking): "My opinions are correct but the minority of people have good opinions. That’s what I’ve learned." [43:12]

Notable Production Gaffe

(Throughout the segment) The team teases substitute producer Josh for not having the answer sheet:

• Andy: "You're telling me we are playing a segment on the show right now that you have half of?" [26:21]
• Jason: "We can't do this show without Jeremy Fingers." [40:58]

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5. Draft: Senior Citizen Battle Royale

[45:59–65:46]

Premise

Each host drafts a team of four famous celebrities, age 60+, for a “fight to the death” battle royale. Age at the time of the episode counts—so a legendary tough guy who’s now 90 is drafted as a 90-year-old.

Draft Picks & Rationales

Mike’s Team:

• Keanu Reeves (age 61): Chosen for martial arts skill and being relatively spry.
  • Mike: "He has actual martial arts training and...the age advantage over a lot of these other old[ies]."
• Jean-Claude Van Damme (64): Split-master, bona fide action man.
• Danny Trejo (81): The real-life tough guy, “knows how to really handle business.”
  • Jason: “That dude is like, gang stuff...he served time in San Quentin and Folsom.” [56:54]
• Bo Jackson (63): All-around athletic legend with “broad skill set.”

Jason’s Team:

• Jackie Chan (71): Legendary for both stunt work and martial arts.
  • Jason: “That guy kicks so much butt.”
• Wesley Snipes (63): Chosen for action roles (Blade), and real martial arts chops.
  • Jason: “The only thing that could defeat Wesley Snipes was... tax evasion.”
• J.K. Simmons (70): “So old and so jacked...when he wants to be scary – he is really scary.”
• Tom Cruise (63): Notorious for his wild stunts (Mission Impossible series).
  • Jason: “Has Sylvester Stallone strapped himself to an aeroplane and taken off?”

Andy’s Team:

• Arnold Schwarzenegger (78): “A mountain of a man...I think against all these old men, I've got a strong man against Oldman.”
• Chuck Norris (85): “Unbeatable at any age...when Chuck Norris does a push-up, he pushes the world down.”
  • Chuck’s martial arts credentials are debated, but Andy stands by his status.
• Sylvester Stallone (79): “When it comes time to box and punch...Stallone’s five, ten. Boom.”
  • Multiple jokes dispute Stallone’s true height.
• Herschel Walker (63): Former NFL great, “famous for doing, like, 1,000 pushups a day.”
  • Jason: “Some screws have come loose...fight to the death.”

Notable Draft-Related Quotes:

• Jason: “When it comes time to actually finish the kill...Danny Trejo would be like, ‘here, walk out of the way, I’ll take his throat.’” [57:01]
• Debates ensue on real fighting prowess vs. Hollywood legend.

Honorable Mentions & Near-Misses

• Liam Neeson, Harrison Ford, Patrick Stewart, Bryan Cranston, Robert Downey Jr. (not yet 60), Viggo Mortensen, Mel Gibson, Billy Blanks (“Tybo” guy).
• Andy: "I wanted Shaq, but Shaq's 53. That would be unfair." [66:09]

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Running Jokes & Episode Tone

• Classic self-deprecation—from underwear stories to losing "the goose."
• Mock-serious debates about childhood trauma, cleanliness, and legendary action figures’ fighting abilities.
• Roasting the producer for live snafus sprinkled throughout the “Guess Goose” segment.
• Running gags about age, strength, and the surprising admissions of bodily habits.
  • Jason: “I got a little more faith in humanity with the people who admit that they pee in the shower.” [66:44]

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• Mike, on Super Bowl heartbreak: “I leave, I become clinically depressed...a week later, my wife’s brother asks, 'what’s wrong with Mike?'” [14:23]
• Jason: “Here I am as a 40 plus year old man talking about this thing that was traumatic for me.” [09:50]
• Andy: "Soap blows my mind, man." [19:40]
• Andy, on minority opinions: "My opinions are correct but the minority of people have good opinions. That’s what I’ve learned." [43:12]
• Jason, on Danny Trejo: “That man's not skin anymore. It's just leather.” [57:34]
• Andy, defending Chuck Norris: "He did! He went and he beat people up...professional undefeated karate master." [54:29]

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Key Segment Timestamps

• Burlap Boxers Debate: [03:46–11:20]
• Traumatic Underwear Story: [07:09–11:14]
• Super Bowl Would-You-Rather: [11:20–16:16]
• No Soap vs. No Toothpaste: [16:16–20:12]
• Guess Guess Goose Game: [24:04–45:59]
  • Includes drinking milk, shower-peeing, salsa heat, penny-picking, right arm blood draws, razors
• Senior Citizen Battle Royale Draft: [45:59–65:46]
• Honorable Mentions & Wrap-up: [65:14–67:00]

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Final Thoughts & Lessons

• The right answer is sometimes the unpopular one.
• Never wear cartoon underwear past third grade.
• Don’t go to the Super Bowl if heartbreak is avoidable.
• Most people really do pee in the shower.
• Never trust a substitute producer to have the answer key ready.
• Chuck Norris facts will always be debated, but Mr. Norris is always chosen.

Tone

• Playful, self-effacing, and bursting with man-child camaraderie.
• Frequent ribbing, wordplay, and sincerity about sports and weird life choices.
• Family-friendly, quick-witted, and overflowing with nostalgic references.

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For fans old and new, this episode is a classic blend of nonsense and nostalgia, with plenty of laughs and some surprisingly deep reflections on sports, hygiene, and hero worship. Don’t fight a team with both Norris and Stallone—or maybe do if you’re bringing Danny Trejo.

Transcript

[Andy]

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[Mike]

And just when you think it couldn't.

[Andy]

Get any better, you'll stop at our award winning private island.

[Jason]

Perfect day at Coco Cay.

[Andy]

This is the undisputed champion of vacations.

[Mike]

Book [e-mail] Big time, best time, all the time. Come see the Royal Caribbean.

[Andy]

This episode of Spitballers comedy podcast is brought to you by Primal Kitchen. Life is full of hard decisions. Choosing a cooking oil doesn't have to be one of them. Primal Kitchen is here with pure avocado oil, a healthier everyday cooking option. It's pure and quality tested, never blended with other oils. With a high smoke point and light neutral flavor. It's great for grilling, baking, air frying and more. Plus it contains healthy fats from avocados. Find Primal Kitchen pure avocado oil in Walmart stores or online at walmart.com and primalkitchen.com. What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers Pie podcast with Andy, Mike and Jason.

[Jason]

Oh.

[Andy]

What? Huh? Where am I? What? That kind of grossed me out.

[Mike]

It kind of grossed me out too.

[Jason]

I liked it.

[Mike]

Welcome into The Spitballers episode 350. Where am I?

[Jason]

The olds, man. The olds are going to get their time to shine today.

[Mike]

Yeah, we are. You know that was a meaningful scat. Today we are drafting famous senior citizens for a battle royale.

[Andy]

Oh yeah.

[Mike]

Celebrities over 60. Battle Royale. Just like. I mean what says episode 350 better than that? That's at the tippy top of the idea chart.

[Andy]

We've been saving this, holding on to.

[Jason]

It for a while. Sitting on this for about.

[Mike]

Yeah, I mean I find it a great accomplishment to somehow come up with drafts for 350 episodes. Personally, would you rather guess probably our last draft guest guess goose today. Jason, are you excited about that?

[Andy]

I am. You know I am excited. I know that I am the back to back to back triple goose goose loser. But that. That ends today.

[Jason]

The gooser.

[Andy]

Yeah, I played.

[Mike]

Give me your best impression of a goose.

[Jason]

A goose.

[Mike]

That's just saying the word. No. We've got a great show for you today. We'll kick it off here.

[Jason]

Did you guys ever see it was one of the just the viral reels or the TikTok if you're young. Because we watch the Good. TikTok stuff on Instagram when we're old.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Jason]

That it's a father and his daughter, and they're in one of the hideouts because they're hunting and he's been pumping her up of like, I got this deer call. And they're, you know.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jason]

Because he gets, like, duck calls and things. And so he sets it up so well. It's so slow. And he's like, come here, dear.

[Andy]

Come here, dear.

[Mike]

And then the daughter just starts laughing.

[Jason]

Yeah. It's so stupid. But it was. It's an amazing video.

[Andy]

Come here, dear.

[Mike]

That's pretty funny. All right, we'll jump right in.

[Andy]

Would you rather.

[Mike]

Well, we're also. We're always answering the greatest questions in the world. Dan from the website. Would you rather have the world's nicest bed sheets, but all of your clothes are made of burlap, including your underwear?

[Jason]

Wait, what?

[Andy]

Oh, come on.

[Jason]

Burlap.

[Mike]

Burlap.

[Andy]

Burlap is like the. Like the.

[Jason]

You don't want it on my sensitives.

[Andy]

It's like when you weave wood is that and glass together. I gotta Google burlap.

[Mike]

Okay, so you got burlap. Burlap clothes, but nice sheets. Or the world's comfiest clothes, but all your bed sheets and comforter are made of burlap.

[Andy]

Okay, well, hold on.

[Jason]

So there's a burlap attack. No matter what.

[Mike]

A burlap attack. You must sleep in your undies with the burlap sheets.

[Jason]

Oh, there it is.

[Andy]

Because that was an easy one. That was like, you'll be almost naked. I'll sleep in the comfy jammies that protect me from the burlap sack. This is like what we used to do, like potato sack races in.

[Mike]

Burlap is a strong, coarse, plain, woven fabric made from natural fibers, primarily jute, but also hemp and flax, primarily jute.

[Andy]

Jute.

[Mike]

J U T E Jute.

[Jason]

What is jute made of?

[Mike]

Vegetable fibers.

[Andy]

Jute. There it is.

[Mike]

Rough, open weave, giving it a natural, rustic feel.

[Andy]

Yeah, we're off to a strong start, gentlemen.

[Mike]

Look, burlap is very coarse and uncomfortable, and I wouldn't. I wouldn't want to wear it all day long, and I wouldn't want to sleep in it either. I.

[Andy]

It's not even like. I feel like you can't even paint. It's too thick and coarse for. For a canvas.

[Jason]

Burlap is the worst. Except if you're a hipster.

[Mike]

If I fall.

[Jason]

Hipsters love burlap.

[Mike]

Oh, they're willing to Endure the pain.

[Jason]

Oh, man, they love burlap. Goodness gracious.

[Mike]

Burlap is for sex.

[Jason]

Go on, go on Etsy.com it's for sex.

[Mike]

A burlap sack.

[Jason]

Well, not that kind of underpants, but go on to Etsy.com and it's. It's 55% burlap.

[Andy]

Really? People like, people wear it. Oh, people make.

[Jason]

No, no, they don't wear it.

[Mike]

They just make stuff out of it.

[Jason]

They just make. Yeah. Oh, and I don't, I don't understand.

[Mike]

Wouldn't. It wasn't closed because it was. They're like, what can we use this for? And they're like, how about a sack to store some stuff in?

[Jason]

It's got to be sturdy.

[Mike]

I can fall asleep on burlap. It will be uncomfortable. But while I'm asleep, I will not be experiencing the burlap. I will be asleep while I'm walking around during the day. I will 100% be awake while I'm walking around and experiencing the burlap all the time. Therefore, I'm choosing sleep.

[Andy]

Counter argument. When you are laying down on your bed, the full weight of your skin is pressed against the burlap. If you are wearing a. Because you could choose.

[Mike]

I have heavy skin. You're right.

[Andy]

The whole weight of your body.

[Mike]

The full weight of my skin.

[Andy]

I'm saying your full weight.

[Jason]

I have heavy skin. What does that even mean?

[Mike]

He said the full weight of my skin.

[Andy]

The full weight of your body pushes your skin onto your skin. Is having the full weight of your body on the burlap. Okay, caught up. If you wear baggy burlap clothes, they can, you know, they're not just wearing on you. It's not tight against your skin.

[Mike]

Only one of these do I have to wear burlap underpants. And that's the one I'm not choosing. I'm taking the sleeping because you get normal underpants. I'm not boxers. I don't wear boxers.

[Andy]

You don't?

[Mike]

No, I wear a boxer. Oh, I wear a boxer brief.

[Andy]

I thought for sure you were just.

[Jason]

Do you remember. Do you remember 25th September also this when we were like. I remember. I have a very specific memory. I guess. So you guys, you guys probably don't, but of like in my cousin's house. I mean, I'm a. I'm a youth. I gotta be fourth, fifth grade and it's like I learn of boxers.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Jason]

And from that moment on, the sheer idea that you would wear whitey tighties.

[Mike]

The social pressure of boxers which at.

[Jason]

That time I was still in Underoos, which I wore. I blame my parents for this. 100 cartoons on them. Yeah. Oh, I was in.

[Mike]

Oh, Batman.

[Jason]

Guys, guys, Gentlemen, I'm telling part of partly. I'm telling the story because my father listens to this show. So he gets to hear this story now. Because my mom still bought me under bruise where the cartoon character is on your butt cheeks.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Right.

[Mike]

Yep.

[Jason]

I'm in sixth grade.

[Mike]

Uh.

[Jason]

Oh, sixth grade. It's pretty late and we are in physical education.

[Andy]

I've got a seventh grader right now. And you know. Well, here's the thing I'm saying I can't fathom him in.

[Jason]

Okay.

[Mike]

Even close to your pants got pulled down cartoon.

[Jason]

No, no, no, they did not. I'm in physical education. I'm in pe. We're learning how to do backwards somersaults. Your boy, your boy, your boy. W. End of the line. W. When you're growing up in PE means you do everything last. That's because.

[Mike]

Oh, because your last name is W. Yeah. Yeah.

[Andy]

I was like, okay, yeah.

[Jason]

Living in your privilege of an H and an M. You're right in the middle. I always. You have no idea what it's like.

[Mike]

To be a W. I was so happy not being a late.

[Jason]

I'm at the end. We're learning how to do backwards somersaults and your boy is struggling to do the backwards somersault.

[Andy]

I believe it.

[Jason]

Come to find out there's a hole in my buttocks of my shorts. That is buttocks.

[Andy]

Yeah, we know that, Mike.

[Jason]

In the shorts of my pants that are exposing said Underoos. And someone catches a glimpse that I am still wearing the Underoos. Oh, and little Wolverine. I don't. It's probably gummy bears or some. Oh, worse.

[Andy]

Way worse.

[Jason]

And I get exposed for this.

[Mike]

That is a bad thing in sixth grade.

[Jason]

And like I get called out and it's the like. Are you wearing. No, of course I'm not wearing this show. Prove it.

[Andy]

I mean.

[Mike]

No.

[Jason]

Here. Here I am as a 40 plus year old man talking about this thing that was traumatic for me.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Jason]

So it just of like the transition of. Of. Of whitey tighties and Underoos into boxers. It was a very, very.

[Andy]

You became a man.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Yeah. I do not think that. Which boxers were not more.

[Jason]

No, they're awful. They're not comfortable.

[Andy]

It's shorts.

[Mike]

They're unsupportive.

[Andy]

Some of us don't need support, Andy. Some of us are fine with that.

[Jason]

Yeah, yeah. Sure thing. I remember sure thing.

[Mike]

If anything, they're b. And they get in the way. Straight boxers are dumb.

[Andy]

Straight boxers are great.

[Jason]

No, no, no, no. Straight boxers are shorts under your shorts.

[Andy]

Yeah. That's all you need. It's comfy. If I could wear no underwear, I would always wear no underwear.

[Jason]

Why are you wearing them?

[Mike]

Why wear them?

[Jason]

What's the purpose?

[Mike]

To stop layer.

[Andy]

To stop the dirty parts of my butt crack from being on my shorts. That's what.

[Mike]

That's the purpose of underwear inside of your shorts? Yes.

[Andy]

The purpose of underwear is to keep your shorts cleanish.

[Mike]

It's all wipe.

[Jason]

It's all just a wipe.

[Mike]

You wipe?

[Andy]

Of course I wipe.

[Jason]

We're bidet brothers.

[Mike]

Listen, there's no other than the self pressure.

[Andy]

Yeah. Now I wiped, then I pat dry. Now I pat dry.

[Jason]

I wiped and now I pat.

[Mike]

The point is, I don't want burlap on my.

[Jason]

Yes. Sensitives.

[Andy]

I would agree with that. Okay. I won't take the burlap underwear. So I'm going to sleep.

[Mike]

All right. Notre Dame from Patreon writes in Notre Dame, would you rather have front row 50 yard seats to watch your favorite team lose 56 to 0 in the super bowl or watch your favorite team win the super bowl on your phone while sitting at your niece's kindergarten performance? The answer is not hard for a true sports fan.

[Andy]

Correct. Because let me tell you. So we went to. We had the privilege of going with a close friend of ours to the Super Bowl a few years ago. Die hard Eagles fan. And we got the most Eagles versus Chief Eagles Chiefs. This was part one.

[Jason]

Right.

[Andy]

And part one of Eagles Chiefs. The most amazing seats humanly possible. I mean, we were gifted these through. Through, you know, through a sponsor of the show. Yeah. And so 50 yard line on the camera side. You know What?

[Mike]

Perfect. Perfect.

[Andy]

10, 15 yards up. We came in through. I think we saw like a pre show.

[Jason]

Oh, we saw Crow. We saw Cheryl Crow, man.

[Andy]

Just like you're burying the lead. Yeah. We're like. We're eating tomahawk steaks at a buffet while Cheryl Crow. I mean, this is like, this is otherworldly.

[Jason]

You can't believe what's happening.

[Andy]

Awesomeness. And we watched one of the most incredible games.

[Jason]

Yep.

[Andy]

And in the end, our buddy, who is an Eagles fan, watch his team not win. He does not have fun. That's not like a good time. That's not like. Ah, it's okay.

[Mike]

I'd rather watch the score update on my phone. On my watch.

[Andy]

I'd rather find out about it tomorrow.

[Mike]

Numbers on my watch than I would be first row of a loss if.

[Andy]

I knew that if I don't watch the Super Bowls were in the super bowl and I. And I was told you're not allowed to watch this game for the rest of your life ever. You can't see a highlight from it. It will be deleted from you. But tomorrow you will find out. Day one, let's say take my memories. I will go.

[Jason]

The Arizona Cardinals somehow made it to a Super Bowl. Where are we?

[Andy]

How 2008.

[Jason]

So 2008, this is quite a bit.

[Mike]

This was technically 2009, 2008 season.

[Jason]

And. And my. My father and I were. I mean this is. We bonded over the Cardinals. Like we've been through just the garbage of garbage and like this is one of our. Our things that binds us together. And we go. We go to the NFC Championship game because it's in Arizona. We luck just crazy luck of the draw because of other teams won and we win. We're going to the Super Bowl. And my dad's like, were. I don't know what. I don't know how, but we're going to figure it out and we're going to go. And I'm like, oh yeah. Oh yeah. So we do. We figure it out. We end up in Tampa Bay. I mean just like it's. The stories of Tampa Bay are wild. But we go to the game. If you did not. If you're not a sports fan and you didn't watch. The Arizona Cardinals were winning the super bowl with about 2 minutes and 20 seconds to go. They end up losing.

[Mike]

Greatest moment of my life at that point.

[Jason]

Yes. They end up losing in heartbreaking fashion. And we. I mean I. I'm at this game, I leave, I become clinically depressed like this, which I'm. You think I'm joking. I'm not. I am not. I'm not being hyperbolic at all. I'm talking. A week later, my wife's brother comes over and. And then later that evening, I find my. My wife comes up to me and she's like. My brother asks what's wrong with Mike?

[Andy]

Well, see, last week my team lost.

[Jason]

This was a week after the game. I was noticeably to someone who doesn't see me very much. Noticeably not. Okay. No. Your team losing the super bowl is catastrophic.

[Andy]

Yeah. Also front row, 50 yard line seats.

[Jason]

That's way too low.

[Andy]

I don't think you want.

[Jason]

No, no, it's terrible. That's way too low.

[Andy]

You can't see anything.

[Mike]

Way too low.

[Jason]

You got to be, like, 20 rows up.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Yeah. That's.

[Andy]

I get to be on the bench.

[Mike]

If I'm getting on that field after the win, I can live with sitting there.

[Andy]

All right, we did get on the field.

[Mike]

Fee from the website.

[Andy]

Would you rather he still hated it?

[Mike]

Yeah. We got on the field, but we didn't care who won, right?

[Andy]

That's true. We had a great time.

[Jason]

That was awesome.

[Andy]

What I really learned the question to this answer, Dan from the website or no, this is Notre Dam. Yeah.

[Jason]

Which. Which is also very funny considering the circumstances of which Notre Dame is going through right now.

[Mike]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andy]

Of a full.

[Jason]

Yeah, we quit.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Andy]

I don't even know.

[Jason]

But spoiler, they're big, fat babies. The rule.

[Andy]

I think the best way to go to a Super bowl is to go to one where your team is not in it. Because I had a blast. There was no there. Nothing could hurt me.

[Mike]

Disappointed. Yes.

[Andy]

Great.

[Mike]

You could enjoy the experience without all the added stress.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Would you rather. Question from Fee on the website. Would you rather permanently give up soap and shampoo or toothpaste?

[Jason]

This one's so easy.

[Andy]

Is it?

[Jason]

Yep. Yep. It's so easy.

[Andy]

I mean, I think I have my answer, so it's easy, but I don't know if we're on the same side.

[Mike]

I'm not giving up soap and shampoo.

[Jason]

How much is toothpaste actually doing?

[Mike]

Not much.

[Andy]

Probably less than we think. And we're giving it more credit for just fresh breath. But gum can do that.

[Mike]

We're all on the same page.

[Jason]

That's why it's easy. You can still.

[Andy]

You're right.

[Jason]

You get to brush your teeth still.

[Andy]

That's right. I get to brush my teeth. Just no toothpaste.

[Jason]

Like, what? Here's the thing.

[Mike]

There's no way big toothpaste hasn't oversold it.

[Jason]

Here's the thing. Whenever you hear about toothpaste and they're like, they're singing the praises, like, four out of five dentists, one dentist is.

[Mike]

Like, I don't care.

[Jason]

One of the dentists.

[Andy]

Maybe one of the dentist is like, that's bad. That's not good. But point being, don't people use, like, baking soda sometimes? Like, baking soda?

[Jason]

One out of five dentists is like, no, I don't care about this.

[Mike]

We didn't have tooth. When was toothpaste invented?

[Andy]

This is a good point, because it can't have been invented a thousand years ago.

[Jason]

I'm pretty sure it's correlated. As when teeth.

[Mike]

Yeah, don't read about George Washington's teeth situation.

[Andy]

That's right. They were wooden tire.

[Mike]

No, they were. They weren't technically wood.

[Jason]

That's. That's the rumors.

[Mike]

The truth is, is he was miserably in pain because of his teeth for the majority of his life. Yeah, he had multiple sets of fake.

[Andy]

Teeth, but maybe that's what made him such a great general.

[Mike]

He's ornery.

[Jason]

He's like, you know what? We're going to go get him on Christmas because my teeth hurt. Let's go. And they're going to hurt me.

[Andy]

Pain like my mouth.

[Mike]

Goodness gracious.

[Andy]

Wait, did he attack on Christmas, wasn't it? Probably always knows that the papa. Josh, are you on a Revolutionary War guy? Weren't you there? I hate history. The Del. What? Yeah, he's had too much in his life.

[Jason]

The Delaware River. That wasn't Christmas.

[Mike]

He launched a surprise in Trenton, New Jersey on the morning of December 26th.

[Andy]

Wait, he lost 26.

[Jason]

Hey, Christmas. Christmas.

[Mike]

Immediately following his famous crossing of the Delaware on Christmas night.

[Andy]

Yes. Oh, you did it.

[Mike]

Nailed it.

[Andy]

But wait, you're telling me he had a surprise Christmas attack?

[Mike]

Well, he technically crossed Delaware on Christmas, but didn't attack until the morning of the 27th.

[Andy]

Wait, did the winner lose that battle?

[Mike]

He won.

[Andy]

Oh, okay, I heard it wrong.

[Mike]

Which king do you bow to right now?

[Andy]

I'm sure he lost some battles.

[Jason]

The Delaware river was like a turning point attack. Allegedly.

[Andy]

If you say so.

[Jason]

Oh, my. Have you seen Hamilton?

[Andy]

Yeah, I know it very well.

[Jason]

Don't they talk about it?

[Andy]

I don't think so. I don't think so.

[Jason]

I don't know if they do or not.

[Mike]

He did lose several battles.

[Andy]

Yeah, of course he did. He's a general. No one goes undefeated.

[Mike]

I thought he was.

[Andy]

I mean, you think like, yeah, well, if you go defeated, you're done.

[Jason]

I mean, he's undefeated against cherry trees. We know that. Would your body and lies.

[Mike]

Would your body. But not dentists.

[Andy]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Mike]

Would your body adjust to. No shampoo and soap and just water?

[Andy]

No, no, that's still.

[Mike]

What about your own oils and stuff?

[Jason]

No, you'll still stink.

[Andy]

Soap does legitimately blow my mind. I remember seeing like, this was back in the time of COVID where it's.

[Mike]

Like, I like that as a quote.

[Jason]

Soap blows my mind, man.

[Andy]

But during the time of COVID I remember some videos that were showing people washing their hands, scrubbing their hands with.

[Jason]

With hot water.

[Andy]

Warm water. Like, really? And they were looking at like the germs that are on these hands. And then you basically put one little drop of soap and it's totally. It's like, oh, now they're clean. And before, it was just, like, moving stuff around. It's good work. Soap and shampoo do good work.

[Mike]

What do they call it?

[Jason]

Kills your natural.

[Mike]

But what do they call it when you. Like, when you break apart bacterial bonds with, like, rubbing? What is that called?

[Andy]

No one knows. A cleaning.

[Mike]

What's the word I'm looking for? You're looking at some surface. Some people clean surfaces with a surfactant or something like that.

[Andy]

Disinfecting?

[Mike]

No, a surfactant.

[Andy]

A surfactant? Yeah. Surfactant. Yeah, clearly. Of course it's a surfactant. Kind of know a lot about surfactants, and I can't believe I didn't surfactantly.

[Mike]

Here we go.

[Andy]

Surfactantly.

[Mike]

I do a surfactant.

[Andy]

Wait, this is a real word.

[Mike]

Is a compound that lowers the surface tension between two liquids. So, yeah, it is a real word. Like a detergent is a surfactant because it breaks bonds.

[Jason]

Like chemical bonds or physical bonds or like emotional or family bonds.

[Mike]

Emotional bonds. We gotta stop talking. Here we go. Did we take a break yet, Papa Josh?

[Andy]

We have not.

[Mike]

Oh, we're gonna do that now.

[Andy]

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[Mike]

It's time for guest guest goose. Or in Jason's case, goose, goose, goose. Because he has lost three straight of these.

[Andy]

What do you say?

[Jason]

So, Jason, let me ask you something.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Jason]

What's worse for you? On this video podcast which is available at YouTube.com spitballers pod Spitballers.

[Mike]

Spitballers. It's just spitball.

[Jason]

Should you. What's worse? You wear that goose for the fourth time. Or we say you don't have to wear the goose at all, but you don't get to wear a hat.

[Andy]

Oh, give me the goose, baby. Give me that delicious Christmas goose.

[Jason]

Succulent goose.

[Mike]

Well, we're playing again.

[Jason]

And succulent Chinese meal.

[Mike]

For those that haven't followed along before, you'll get a hang of it really quickly. We'll rotate. Asking a question. The person that asked the question sets a line of what they think the answer to the question is. The other two participants guess higher or lower from the line. You get 4 points if you can guess the exact percentage, 2 points if the guess is within 5% of the exact percentage, and 1 point if you are right on the lower or higher. I will start us off with this one. After eating bowls of cereal, what percentage of people lift up the bowls to drink the remaining milk?

[Andy]

Oh, man.

[Mike]

Great question.

[Andy]

Oh, how do you not?

[Mike]

It's a great question.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Jason]

How high do we go here?

[Mike]

So I have to set the line for us to drink the remaining milk.

[Jason]

I mean, there's a lot of things.

[Mike]

That go into a bowl of cereal. How much milk did you put in to begin with? I've met people that put in half the milk that I put into cereal.

[Andy]

When people Put in, like, a splash of milk. Like, what are you doing? Why.

[Jason]

Why are you even psychotic?

[Andy]

Just. Just eat it dry. Just eat it dry.

[Mike]

I don't understand it. I don't understand it. So I think that there are people like that. There are people that also eat in a hurry. They're probably not drinking the milk at the end, but I think it is a majority. And the number I'm going to set. I've got the line I'm going to set it at.

[Jason]

I wrote mine down.

[Mike]

I'm going to set it at 68%.

[Andy]

Okay. Oh, man, I'm so close to your number.

[Mike]

So I. I am going 60.

[Andy]

You're not close. Percent micro 85.

[Mike]

Are you going over My.

[Jason]

I went super majority. I'm going over.

[Andy]

I went seven over. Are you technically going over as well?

[Mike]

Well, here we go. Papa Josh let us know what the real number is.

[Andy]

And Papa Josh is figuring out the first time.

[Jason]

Josh, did you know you have to have answers to this?

[Andy]

I was not given the answers on this. You were not. Oh, I win. I cannot lose. Wait, are you telling me that we're.

[Mike]

Playing for the show?

[Andy]

Hold on. You're telling me we are playing a segment on the show right now that you have half of.

[Mike]

He's even participating in the discussion in Slack without his own thoughts on.

[Andy]

But you didn't.

[Jason]

I got him, I got him. I got him. Okay.

[Mike]

He's got the numbers. It's normally out.

[Andy]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Jason]

Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.

[Mike]

You're in big trouble.

[Jason]

Hold on.

[Andy]

Big trouble.

[Jason]

Where did the answers come from, Jeremy?

[Andy]

Just now?

[Jason]

No. So you.

[Andy]

Long ago. So you had them, But I found them.

[Jason]

Okay, okay, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Josh, Jeremy is not here. Jeremy, lead producer of this podcast. You are filling in for him. Did you read at all what we were going to talk about, what we're.

[Andy]

Doing here on this show? Yes, I did. And then you thought, don't say yes. But then right when it came time to give the answers, you're like, I have no idea what the answer is. I have not. Did you prepare?

[Mike]

I may have thought that you guys.

[Andy]

Had your own answer. Okay, okay, we do.

[Jason]

It's a game where we get. It's called Guess Guess Goose.

[Andy]

We're guessing. We're guessing because we don't know the answers. But the good news is I found.

[Mike]

He has them.

[Andy]

He has them.

[Mike]

I guess 68. You both went above. What's the real number, Josh?

[Andy]

Well, Jason and Mike are Smart. Because the real answer is 73%.

[Mike]

I'm within five.

[Andy]

Are you?

[Jason]

You went 68?

[Mike]

Yeah, I went 68.

[Andy]

Yeah, but they're also smart.

[Jason]

So that's how.

[Mike]

But I got two points.

[Jason]

You did.

[Andy]

Okay, good guess.

[Jason]

Good guess. I was way over.

[Mike]

Oh, my gosh. Well, Josh, look up the other answers, and we'll keep going.

[Andy]

I got you. All right, what Was the answer? 73%.

[Jason]

What are 27% of people doing?

[Andy]

They might be in a rush.

[Mike]

They're just. I mean, I love drinking the milk at the end of a bowl, but I don't always do it, because sometimes I'm just, like. I don't know. I'm, like, in a hurry.

[Andy]

But if you were asked this question, you would say yes.

[Mike]

I would say yes. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. All right, Mike, you're up.

[Jason]

I'm just two to one.

[Mike]

To one.

[Jason]

I'm so baffled by this. And also, I don't know, the last time I had a bowl of cereal.

[Mike]

Guys, we're either.

[Andy]

It's been too long for Jason.

[Mike]

Within 5%.

[Andy]

Oh, yeah.

[Jason]

That doesn't matter.

[Mike]

Oh, it's only me.

[Andy]

Yeah. Because we're not supposed to give an actual percentage.

[Mike]

Oh, that's right. That's right. Yeah.

[Jason]

It's just our guess. All right. Okay, here we go. What percentage of people regularly pee in the shower?

[Andy]

Okay, see, the hard part about this. 50% or the hard part about this is regularly. Because if you said, how many people peed in the shower, I promise you, darn near all.

[Jason]

It's. The problem is, do women pee in the shower? I don't know, dude. I'm not a lady.

[Mike]

I don't know, either.

[Jason]

I don't know.

[Mike]

I would imagine if I were a lady, I wouldn't.

[Jason]

And you know what? I don't tell my wife that I pee in the shower.

[Mike]

I pee in the shower, too.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Because everybody pees.

[Andy]

I pee in the shower all the time.

[Mike]

That's convenient.

[Andy]

I pretty much pee in the shower.

[Jason]

It's the same exact thing. Do you think those. You think you got different pipes?

[Andy]

They connect at the bottom. They connect at the bottom.

[Mike]

And I can aim the pipes.

[Andy]

Go to the same pipe. Yeah.

[Mike]

Women can't aim right.

[Jason]

I don't know.

[Andy]

I don't know, man.

[Mike]

I worry.

[Andy]

It's like that one got Mike. That one got Mike. Good. Because it was such a genuine question. I'm just.

[Mike]

I don't know.

[Andy]

I don't believe. I don't believe women can. Which means that they don't have it's messier.

[Mike]

It's messier. Then if you told me every time I peed in the shower I would pee on my leg, I wouldn't do it.

[Andy]

That's fair.

[Jason]

What are you trying.

[Mike]

What if I had to pee on my leg in order to get it out?

[Jason]

I would pee on my leg.

[Mike]

I wouldn't.

[Jason]

Who cares? The water is washing it all away.

[Mike]

Ah, you don't intentionally be this foot, do you?

[Andy]

This is a wild question because the range. The range of this percentage is.

[Mike]

All right, we need a percentage.

[Jason]

Here's the problem with this game is you need the percentage of truth tellers, right?

[Mike]

Because there's a shame associated. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But there's got to be anonymous.

[Andy]

We're not ashamed.

[Jason]

Did you hear us whispering? But we're old and we're all. We were all ashamed.

[Mike]

We've told worse stories. Okay, give me the number.

[Jason]

I think it's high.

[Andy]

Pooped in my pants. You ever pooped in your pants after that? Never put in a shower. But, you know, I've still got, I hope a lot of life left.

[Jason]

So what percent the grade off? What percentage of people regularly pee in the shower?

[Andy]

I am.

[Mike]

Regularly is a tough word there.

[Jason]

Yeah, it is. I'm going to go. Oh, gosh. 60. 60%.

[Mike]

Jason, where are you going to lock in at?

[Andy]

I've written mine.

[Jason]

Tell the truth.

[Andy]

I'm locked.

[Mike]

Tell the truth. My original number I wrote down was exactly 60. I've changed it before you said it. I have my number written down. Go ahead and tell me if you're higher or low.

[Andy]

My number is way lower. I think it's 27%.

[Mike]

My number is lower. I went to 40. So what is the real.

[Andy]

I think regularly, like, I don't regularly pee in the shower.

[Jason]

You don't?

[Andy]

No, I don't.

[Mike]

I pretty regularly do.

[Andy]

Okay, the answer is 62%.

[Mike]

I should have stayed.

[Jason]

Wow.

[Andy]

Honesty. People are so honest.

[Mike]

I guess I would have been wrong anyways.

[Jason]

Bang.

[Mike]

60. So Mike gets two.

[Andy]

I was. Man, you suck at this.

[Jason]

You are a goose. But here's the thing is it's. I can't even help it. You get in there.

[Andy]

Can't not be in the shower.

[Jason]

I can't help it. The temperature of the shower.

[Andy]

You've regulated your body.

[Jason]

It's like as soon as that hits me, I am a wee babby in.

[Andy]

The womb and it's washing your urine out for you.

[Jason]

Yeah. It's like this is where you go to the bathroom.

[Andy]

Interesting.

[Jason]

All right, what are you gonna do about It.

[Mike]

You're up.

[Andy]

All right, I'm up.

[Mike]

And you're. I mean, down in points, but you're. It's your turn.

[Andy]

Am I down in points?

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah. Three, two, one.

[Andy]

Wait, how do you.

[Jason]

Oh.

[Andy]

Because you got close. All right, whatever. I'm gonna nail this. When given the choice of mild, medium, or hot salsa, what percentage of people choose hot?

[Jason]

Oh, man.

[Mike]

It's a great question.

[Jason]

This is a great question.

[Mike]

It's a great question.

[Andy]

You got to break it into choice.

[Mike]

This is the hardest question we've ever had.

[Andy]

Wow.

[Mike]

Because it's. I mean, mild and medium. I feel like those people are the same. Yeah. The hot people are the unique ones.

[Andy]

Yeah. But some people really pride themselves on the hot salsa.

[Mike]

Yes, they do, man.

[Andy]

It's tough.

[Mike]

They will brag about that. They won't brag about peeing in the shower.

[Andy]

That's true.

[Mike]

Hot sauce is a brag worthy thing. I eat salsa in the shower.

[Andy]

I think the majority of people.

[Jason]

While peeing.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Andy]

I'm a multitasker.

[Mike]

All right.

[Andy]

I think the majority of people order medium salsa. Some order mild, which means there is some amount of minority that order hot. I'm going to go with 20.

[Mike]

So hold on, let me get this breakdown just to understand. You're saying some people get medium. Yeah, some get mild, which means that some get hot.

[Andy]

The majority of people get medium. The biggest.

[Jason]

You're going with two thirds? Sometimes get that thing.

[Andy]

I'm saying the largest of all three of these will be in the medium category.

[Mike]

All right, so what's your number for 29%? 29%. I am going. Mike went under at 18.

[Jason]

I went 18, so I'm taking the under.

[Mike]

I went up at 35.

[Andy]

Okay, we got a split here. If I'm within five, I hope you're both idiots. Where are we, Papa Josh, you guys are crushing the being within five.

[Mike]

Oh.

[Andy]

The answer is 24%.

[Jason]

Yes.

[Andy]

Which means neither of them. Wait, no, no. Mike gets a point. I guess you went different.

[Jason]

What was your number?

[Mike]

29. Wait, does Jason get two points? Yeah. That's three in a row. That means I'm in last.

[Andy]

That's right, baby goose.

[Mike]

Well, so far, three. Three more questions on the way. 432 is the score. Jason, he has a chance to get rid of the goose.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Mike]

My final question. What percentage of people ignore pennies they see on the ground rather than picking them up?

[Jason]

Oh, man.

[Andy]

Gone up over time.

[Jason]

Hold on, hold.

[Mike]

I mean, you got making pennies anymore, by the way.

[Jason]

Yeah, we did.

[Andy]

Over. I literally Never made a penny in my life.

[Jason]

You got to factor in the government neither.

[Andy]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mike]

They follow in your lead.

[Jason]

When you find a penny, it better be heads up.

[Mike]

Is that a rule?

[Jason]

That is.

[Mike]

I did not know that.

[Jason]

That is because I probably find it, pick it up.

[Mike]

If its head is facing.

[Jason]

No, it's find a penny, pick it.

[Mike]

Up, and all the day you'll have good luck. That's the way I look.

[Jason]

Oh, I thought it was something about heads up. Oh, crap.

[Mike]

Find a penny.

[Andy]

Crap.

[Mike]

I thought I would. And don't step on a crack.

[Jason]

Yeah, or you'll break your mama's back. That's a problem.

[Mike]

What percentage of people ignore pennies they see on the ground rather than picking them up? This is brutal. I will say I'm just going to take a.

[Jason]

People that do ignore.

[Mike]

Correct.

[Jason]

Okay.

[Andy]

People that don't pick up pennies, but also walk right over.

[Mike]

Also, Mike, they see trash. Yeah, yeah. Which people do ignore. I'm going to say 50%.

[Andy]

Oh, that makes it easy, Mike. Yeah, I was in the 70s. I was 80s. So yeah, I went definitely going higher.

[Mike]

Okay, you both going higher. I went 50%.

[Andy]

You missed it by 1%. 44%. Oh, and we. Neither one of us.

[Mike]

I missed the 5% by 1%. Not that I missed the actual answer by 40. By 40.

[Andy]

Wait, no one gets a point there.

[Jason]

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

[Andy]

You're saying that 60% of people pick up pennies? They see, this question was asked 25 years ago.

[Mike]

No, I think it's.

[Andy]

I think 44% is the number that ignores it. Yeah, that ignore it. That don't.

[Mike]

But when you said that I missed it by one, I thought you meant I missed the answer by 1%.

[Andy]

I did too, but.

[Mike]

Which makes me Papa Josh.

[Andy]

He's a fill in.

[Mike]

So nothing. So nothing.

[Jason]

Just didn't even have the answers.

[Mike]

Guys, nobody got anything there.

[Andy]

No one got anything.

[Mike]

But I was so close.

[Andy]

But you were so far away.

[Mike]

Yeah, but no, I'm not surprised because when you see money. Well, there's two. You see metal, you see money, you pick it up.

[Jason]

Not a penny dirty.

[Andy]

Pennies on the ground.

[Jason]

Do you know how tall I am?

[Andy]

Six feet, brother.

[Mike]

Me too.

[Jason]

Yeah. Five.

[Mike]

Five.

[Jason]

Jason, you should be picking up pennies. Honestly.

[Mike]

Goose on your head.

[Jason]

We need a rule. All right, Mike, six footers don't pick up pennies.

[Mike]

This is getting tight. And we. We know a tie means that you keep the goose. Actually, normally Al would have one more question for us.

[Andy]

Okay, we got a tiebreaker.

[Mike]

Start preparing for the Tiebreaker.

[Jason]

Josh asks a good question that I want to pose to you guys. This is not game. What denomination would you pick up quarter?

[Andy]

I'm not picking up coins.

[Mike]

I'm picking up a quarter.

[Jason]

I'm at. I'm at nickel.

[Andy]

Oh, man. I'm not.

[Mike]

Silver. You need it to be silver.

[Jason]

Yeah, I do. Okay, you give me that copper Abe Lincoln bull crap. I'm not picking it up. All right, give me.

[Andy]

Wait. Oh.

[Jason]

Who's on the nickel?

[Mike]

Jefferson?

[Jason]

Is it Jefferson? Is it Tommy J?

[Mike]

I think it's tj.

[Jason]

Does anyone know?

[Mike]

I mean, these deucers don't know their butt from their heads.

[Jason]

I will take on Tommy J.

[Andy]

Don't look.

[Mike]

Or.

[Jason]

Who's on the nickel?

[Andy]

Who's on the nickel? I have. Isn't that Lincoln?

[Jason]

No, no, he's on the penny.

[Mike]

Oh, it's tj.

[Jason]

Oh, look at this guy over here.

[Mike]

Tj.

[Andy]

I will, I will.

[Mike]

Who's on the dime? Who's on the dime?

[Andy]

Jefferson.

[Mike]

Nah, nah, I just said he's on the nickel.

[Andy]

Nickel.

[Mike]

Goose face.

[Andy]

You didn't say Roosevelt. I didn't know who that. You did.

[Jason]

Who's on the dime? Is it Roosevelt?

[Mike]

Franklin?

[Jason]

Okay, and then the quarter is back to George.

[Andy]

We've lost all of our listeners.

[Jason]

No, no, they're in on this.

[Mike]

The quarter's back to George. Yeah.

[Andy]

Okay.

[Mike]

Who's on the 15 cent piece, Jay?

[Jason]

15?

[Andy]

Yeah, we had a 15. No, we don't have a 15. He's trying to get him. You can't get that. Trick him with a. Too smart for this. I'm gonna pick up the Lincoln. That's. That's my.

[Mike]

All right.

[Andy]

I mean, like, that's the $5.

[Jason]

We used to have, like a 2 cent, right?

[Mike]

Lincoln's on the penny.

[Andy]

No, we never had a 2 cent. $2.

[Jason]

We definitely had a 2 cent.

[Mike]

All right, it's 4 to 3 to 2 still.

[Andy]

Lincoln's on the $5. He might be on the penny, too, but I'm. I'm picking up the bet.

[Jason]

Yeah, how.

[Mike]

How did.

[Andy]

How did he double dip?

[Jason]

Yeah, what's up with that? He's pretty cool, George.

[Mike]

All right, Mike, let's go.

[Jason]

What percentage of people have blood drawn from their right arm?

[Mike]

Let me. Let me ask you. I mean, just quick survey. This is going to help people out, but I make a choice to go non dominant.

[Jason]

Yeah, that's it. That is everything for this question. And I'm trying to remember how many.

[Mike]

But it's also, like, if the seat is set up a certain way. No, do you then change it or do you just go with what the seat is?

[Jason]

No, because the nurse says which arm?

[Andy]

It can't be simply 100% dominant. Like how many people are left handed and it's that because some right handed people have to choose to prefer their dominant hand. Right.

[Jason]

Why?

[Mike]

But I think the thought is because.

[Andy]

It'S stronger, it's tougher.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Andy]

Okay.

[Mike]

Well, I mean, look, it's Mike's choice.

[Jason]

Okay. Okay.

[Mike]

He sets the line. That's going to make all the difference.

[Jason]

What percentage of people prefer to have blood drawn from their right arm?

[Mike]

Right. So the right in particular.

[Jason]

Okay.

[Mike]

Which I've done. I've done both. Really? Yeah.

[Jason]

Never.

[Mike]

You always go left?

[Jason]

Yeah, always.

[Mike]

Yeah, I prefer that, but I don't always.

[Jason]

So I think more people will choose the left arm because more people are right handed. There is what left handed is what?

[Mike]

I don't know, maybe 1 in 10, 15%.

[Jason]

I'm going to go. So, Jason, you.

[Mike]

That would be a whole nother question. I don't know the answer.

[Jason]

To prefer to have blood drawn from their right arm. I am going to be our tiebreaker. I'm going to go 20.

[Mike]

20% from the right arm. 20%. It's a good line.

[Andy]

That's not bad. I'm going to go more. I'm going to take the field, if you will.

[Jason]

Okay. I'm looking up left.

[Mike]

The problem here is that I can't gain on Jason. If I, if we, if we keep.

[Andy]

Tying out, then you continue to lose.

[Mike]

So you said 20 of. Wait, you said 20% of people prefer their right arm.

[Jason]

Their right arm.

[Mike]

That's a great guess, Mike. I'm going to take. I'm going to play the game. Although I. Man, should I live for the final question. I'm gonna stay with Jason.

[Jason]

I really hope I played the game.

[Mike]

I.

[Jason]

Now that my answer is in. My answer is too high.

[Mike]

Okay, let's hear it. Let's hear it.

[Andy]

Mike, you're within five again, buddy. The answer is 25%.

[Jason]

Yeah, I was too low, but I got my points.

[Mike]

I was so close.

[Andy]

Mike got two, we both got one. I'm still up on you by one.

[Mike]

But you're the question asker now.

[Andy]

Yeah. So if I get it right, if I'm within five, you can't catch me.

[Mike]

Correct. But that's hard.

[Andy]

If I get it wrong, who's keeping.

[Mike]

Trying to get the right score?

[Andy]

Got to get it the right way and then we have a tiebreaker. Josh, I presume you are.

[Mike]

Yeah, whoever's keeping track of this.

[Jason]

No, they're okay. So I went two to six.

[Andy]

Yeah, it's.

[Mike]

This is the worst.

[Jason]

What are you doing?

[Andy]

We can't do this show without Jeremy Fingers.

[Jason]

Owl.

[Andy]

You have.

[Mike]

Please tell me you have a tiebreaker. Ready.

[Jason]

I saw two. I got you. I was like, there's. It's not as. I had two points in the first.

[Mike]

All right. Right now Mike has six, Jason four. I have three. Jason asked the question, which is great because I can just. If I just get higher or lower and he doesn't get within 5%, we can be tied.

[Andy]

What percentage of men prefer razors as their go to electric?

[Mike]

Of course. Of course. Because we've had this debate ourselves.

[Andy]

Oh, yeah, you're an electric guy.

[Mike]

I do not like electric.

[Andy]

I am an electric guy. I can't imagine.

[Jason]

I know Truman straight razor.

[Andy]

But if I've learned anything over the years, it's that I am usually in the minority.

[Mike]

Magnet man. Magnet man.

[Jason]

I have. I have not used a manual razor on my face since I was probably successful, man.

[Mike]

All right, set the line, Jay.

[Andy]

All right.

[Mike]

We'll see if you end up giving me the goose.

[Andy]

I'm going to set the line in the minority. I think that. I think the minority because it's still. There's a cost to inter electric shaving. So I think the default for most.

[Jason]

Men is because they don't understand the savings.

[Andy]

They don't understand over time, you don't have to keep.

[Jason]

You have to replace the razor.

[Mike]

Are you a straight razor, Josh?

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Okay. All right. I mean, not straight razor, but like a. Blades. Yeah, blades.

[Jason]

Blade. Falcon Electric. That doesn't help at all.

[Andy]

It doesn't help. I'm going to go 40%.

[Mike]

Higher. Higher.

[Andy]

Whoa. Higher. Use electric.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Andy]

Okay.

[Mike]

My number is 60.

[Andy]

Okay.

[Jason]

My number was initially the majority. I'm going to go higher.

[Mike]

Yes. Let's hear it.

[Andy]

The answer is 38%. Oh, no, wait. You get two points.

[Jason]

You just.

[Andy]

Yes.

[Jason]

Jason, I did it. You did it.

[Andy]

Get this goose off of me. You're the goose.

[Mike]

So you recognize that while you can't. So this is perfect, because like last spitballers, you're certain times a billion. This one, you can't. First you start with, I can't fathom how anybody would prefer it. And then you chose it as a minority, as I all.

[Jason]

You're an idiot.

[Andy]

As I already said, I recognize that I live in the minority. My opinions are correct, but the minority of people have good opinions. That's what I've learned over the years of spitballers.

[Mike]

Is what percentage of people are left handed. Give me the guess.

[Andy]

I can give you the name. I would guess.

[Jason]

15% Mike 10.

[Mike]

10% Yep. Yeah, that makes sense. I am the goose for next time and we are going to take a break and do some drafting.

[Jason]

It's not me.

[Andy]

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[Mike]

The Spitballers Draft we are drafting famous senior citizens for a battle royale. We're looking for those 60 and older in the celebrity world to join our team and fight to the death. Which is kind of morbid.

[Andy]

They're close to death.

[Mike]

Anyways, here's the interesting thing. There are when I was going through to try to pick people. Obviously, a lot of celebrities over 60, a lot of famous fighters, either on screen or in reality over 60. But if you're way over 60, I'm thinking you're the age now that you draft them.

[Andy]

Right.

[Mike]

So if a celebrity's 91 right now, but was a great fighter, they're 91 on my team, Right?

[Andy]

Yeah. Oh, for sure.

[Mike]

The age that they are on my team.

[Jason]

Yes.

[Andy]

And when we. When we post these, we should probably include the ages. Yeah.

[Mike]

Then I'm taking. I'm going complete wild card here because I have some names that I thought would be at the tippy. Top of my list, but it's. I'm going. Keanu Reeves.

[Andy]

Yeah. He was top of my list. He was top of my list.

[Mike]

He's 51 years old. He has actual martial arts training, and he has the age advantage over a lot of these other old. Interesting, because I had some big names at the top, but I'm making a pivot I. To take a guy who's barely above 6.

[Andy]

Would that have been.

[Jason]

Tell me you haven't seen John Wick 4.

[Andy]

He's not moving quite the same.

[Mike]

I get it. I actually have seen it.

[Jason]

And dude, John. And you know what? And here's a John Wick 4.

[Andy]

Awesome. Awesome. Great.

[Jason]

Every John Wick movie is awesome. Amazing. But watch John Wick 1, which was made in 2014, and watch John Wick 4, which made 2023. That's a very different man.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Jason]

And because he's. Because he's running his own stuff. Like, that's. That part of why Keanu is awesome is because he's. He's the one out there doing it.

[Mike]

Part of why I picked.

[Jason]

But it's a lot slower.

[Mike]

It's also the awesome factor. It's who I want to hang out with.

[Jason]

You're hanging out, but they're fighting.

[Mike]

I know, but I'm gonna at least be with them before the match. And I want to be like, let's go, guys. And have them. Whoever left, I want to have guys. I'm happy win. Like, I'm happy for them. Obviously, they'll win. Mike, you're up.

[Jason]

Keanu's just the best. Fantastic. Jackie Chan. Jackie Chan. How old is he? Don't care. Yeah, don't care. Jackie Chan is great. Jackie Chan is 71.

[Mike]

It's fine. Jackie's not bad.

[Jason]

Dude, that guy. That guy kicks so much butt.

[Mike]

He's great. He.

[Jason]

Jackie Chan movies. I know it for. If you're in the younger demographic, do yourself a favor. Rumble in The Bronx Super Cop, Rush Hour.

[Andy]

Rush Hour. Come on, Mike.

[Jason]

No, I'm talking about real Jackie Chan movies.

[Andy]

I'm talking about fun ones.

[Jason]

No, I'm talking about. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Not these PG13 bull crap where he's here for just the laugh. Go watch him do his own stunts where he's jumping five stories or where he's hanging out.

[Mike]

You got 71 year old Jackie Chan, Mike.

[Jason]

I know, I know, but that man, 71 year old.

[Mike]

That man, my guy was in the Matrix, all right?

[Jason]

I promise you that. Jackie. Stan, Jackie Chan still has it.

[Mike]

Did you ever hear him talk about filming Rush Hour?

[Jason]

No.

[Mike]

And the cultural differences of the jokes?

[Jason]

Oh, yes.

[Mike]

None of the jokes were funny to him.

[Jason]

Yes. He was just there. Oh, dude.

[Mike]

Jason 2.

[Jason]

Jackie Chan rules.

[Mike]

I think it's a good draft to have.

[Andy]

Yeah, no, I'm. I've got about five guys on my list that I would be pretty doggone happy with. But I'm going to start with a mountain of a man. I'm going to start with a man who will age better because he's got more than just blood in those veins, if you know what I'm saying. I'm going with the Terminator himself.

[Jason]

He's got some assistance.

[Andy]

Give me Arnold Schwarzenegger. I've seen him. He's 78 years old. He's still smooshing.

[Mike]

He was, he was in close contention.

[Jason]

The issue is, and Arnold rules too. The 80s movies.

[Andy]

I mean, 80s wouldn't have been 80s and 90s would not be the same.

[Jason]

Without a fun game to play with your favorite actors and actresses is go look at the run that they had. And often you're like, you'll be really surprised to be like, oh, it was really. It was three. It was three movies.

[Andy]

Felt like it was like a 20 year run. It was a lifetime.

[Jason]

Arnold's run of nonstop bangers.

[Andy]

He's the only one that can compete with Jim Carrey.

[Jason]

Is Jim Carrey with him?

[Andy]

With him, yeah.

[Jason]

Are you going to draft him?

[Andy]

Well, probably not. I'm saying bang. The amount of top notch.

[Jason]

No, the Arnold movie, the run of the 80s and early 90s is legendary.

[Andy]

Speaking of legendary, my next pick. My next pick is legendary.

[Mike]

But can.

[Jason]

Can Arnold actually fit?

[Mike]

That's the one thing I thought about with Arnold.

[Jason]

I don't know.

[Andy]

I think he's just against all these old men. I've got one. I've got a strong man against Oldman. I think if you put Keanu Reeves and Arnold in a fight I think Arnold.

[Jason]

What is Keanu's training?

[Andy]

Guns.

[Mike]

Is it judo?

[Andy]

He does not get guns.

[Jason]

No, no, of course he doesn't get guns. Does he have any, like, actual hand to hand combat training?

[Mike]

Judo? Yeah. Okay. And Brazilian jiu jitsu.

[Jason]

Okay, we'll take it. Yeah, he might beat Arnold.

[Andy]

Maybe, maybe.

[Mike]

But you have to be.

[Andy]

But you know who he can't beat? Who's that? The legend himself. The guy who. Age doesn't matter, okay? Because you can't kill him.

[Jason]

Are we on Total Gym right now?

[Andy]

I'm taking Chuck Norris.

[Jason]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andy]

Because when Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes the world down, okay? You cannot beat a team with Chuck Norris on it. This is the true martial arts master, unbeatable at any age.

[Mike]

So is this true that he is a 10th degree black belt in Chunkuk do, which is founded by him?

[Andy]

Sounds perfect. Here's Chuck Norris makes Marshall.

[Jason]

Here's the issue.

[Mike]

He's 85.

[Jason]

Here's the issue with Chuck Norris.

[Mike]

I'm happy you picked him.

[Jason]

Number one. 85. Number two. You realize that Chuck Norris, the. The jokes, they started for a reason.

[Andy]

Because he was the most amazing martial.

[Jason]

Artist in the world. He, in fact, was not.

[Andy]

No, that's not true. He won so many karate tournaments.

[Jason]

Him and Jonathan Brandis in sidekicks.

[Andy]

No. Who's the. That's like saying Bruce Lee.

[Mike]

He did win.

[Jason]

No, no, no, no, no. He don't win.

[Andy]

It's identical.

[Jason]

You are comparing Chuck Norris and Bruce.

[Andy]

I am 100% comparing them. No, Chuck Norris won karate tournaments. This was a real.

[Mike]

Marshall elementary School, 1972.

[Andy]

So he was a grown man after losing. He was a grown man. I think Chuck Norris in his prime against Bruce Lee in his prime would have been a fair fight. Is Bruce Lee still alive? He's not, right?

[Jason]

No, he's.

[Mike]

No.

[Andy]

Okay. I was like, he's not on my list.

[Jason]

You're Jason. Bruce Lee.

[Andy]

I. Look, I'm not anti Bruce Lee here. I can't believe you're anti Chuck Norris. Norris was a real fighter before he was an actor. Real fighter. No, not. It was.

[Mike]

It was.

[Andy]

This happened real life. He did. He went and he beat people up.

[Jason]

Josh is. Josh is sharing some updates with us that this comes from. What did you search here, Josh?

[Andy]

If this sounded familiar, but whether Chuck Norris actually admitted.

[Mike]

He admitted he would lose to Bruce Lee.

[Jason]

Yeah, because Bruce Lee is an actual trained fighter.

[Andy]

No, hold on. Chuck Norris literally is a trained fighter.

[Mike]

Chuck Norris quote. Bruce, of course, would beat him. Nobody could beat him.

[Andy]

Exactly. Because Chuck Norris, while an amazing fighter, is a humble man. He is very humble.

[Mike]

All right, so your team, your team is Schwarzenegger and Norris. Mike has Jackie Chan. Mike, you got to make another pick here, okay?

[Jason]

We're running out of. We're running out of people who can really fight. But.

[Mike]

But that's not all that matters.

[Jason]

No, no, no, no.

[Mike]

And intimidation.

[Jason]

I got to.

[Andy]

Chuck Norris really fought establishing himself as a legitimate, undefeated world karate champion in the 60s and 70s before acting. He's a real fighter.

[Jason]

He was fighting. I mean I have little white kids, I have America who didn't know how to do karate.

[Mike]

You got nephews that have won karate fights. Just winning a fight don't matter.

[Andy]

He was a pro. Professional undefeated karate master.

[Jason]

Okay, so I see defeated, but go on now. I'm going to.

[Mike]

Norris suffered the 10th and final loss.

[Andy]

Of his career in 1968. Eventually, eventually he lost the 10th and final.

[Mike]

The 10th and final.

[Jason]

Walker, Texas race.

[Andy]

He held a competitive. I know I did often cited 65 and 5 in. Higher in.

[Jason]

Before they stopped putting the losses.

[Andy]

Retiring undefeated in professional full contact Middleweight champion. I will not stand for the besmirchment of Chuck Norris.

[Jason]

I'm here for it. Okay, now the best merchant.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Jason]

You're talking about tournaments, right?

[Andy]

Sure.

[Jason]

Just like that's small time.

[Andy]

Oh, yeah.

[Jason]

What if you are. What if your fight is with. Than the government, The United States government. And. And you're pretty ba. And you can fight.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Jason]

You may not have won your fight with the government. Wesley Snipes.

[Andy]

Oh, okay. I like it. I'm taking Blade, baby. I like it. I like it.

[Jason]

Wesley Snipes is no joke, man.

[Andy]

The only thing that could defeat Wesley Snipes was.

[Jason]

Was tax division. Look, we've all been there. Who amongst us hasn't gone to prison for a little tax evasion from time to time?

[Mike]

Blade did all right, but Blade.

[Jason]

Demolition Man.

[Andy]

Simon says Demolition Man, I will take.

[Mike]

I'm taking Jean Claude Van Damme.

[Jason]

Oh, he was on my list.

[Mike]

He's only 64. Yeah, so that's a huge advantage. And my third.

[Andy]

He could definitely do the splits.

[Jason]

I mean if you need a dance off. Undefeated.

[Mike]

And I'm going to take a. I'm going to take a wild one. I'm taking. I'm taking Danny Trejo.

[Andy]

I don't know.

[Jason]

Oh, yeah. Oh, dad, pick rules. No, we all lose. We all lose because Danny Trejo knows.

[Mike]

How to really handle business.

[Jason]

All lose.

[Andy]

Oh, but he doesn't get a machete. He doesn't get a gun.

[Jason]

It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.

[Mike]

Danny Trejo, that dude from Rules, he comes from.

[Jason]

That dude is like, gang stuff.

[Mike]

Comes from the actual world of robbing, killing, doing all that.

[Andy]

He was in. Was he in the cartel?

[Jason]

Probably.

[Mike]

He's been. He served time in San Quentin and Folsom.

[Jason]

Dude, you don't mess with that guy.

[Mike]

Yeah, Chuck dead man.

[Andy]

I agree that when it comes time to. I don't even need to believe.

[Mike]

I had to make sure he was still alive.

[Jason]

He's not on my list, and I'm so sad.

[Andy]

When it comes time to actually finish the kill, I would agree that Danny Trey would be like, yeah, here. Walk out of the way. I'll take his throat.

[Mike]

Danny Trejo's the pick, man.

[Jason]

That dude rules. Oh, every.

[Mike]

He is his.

[Andy]

He's 81.

[Jason]

Oh, I don't care.

[Mike]

Yeah, but, you know, he's fine.

[Jason]

I don't care that he's mean grandpa.

[Andy]

He is mean grandpa.

[Mike]

Look at that tattoo of a face.

[Jason]

That man's not skin anymore. It's just leather.

[Mike]

No, it is. It is.

[Jason]

There's nothing left.

[Mike]

All right, there you go. There's my wild card. Pick. Let me throw you off with that one. You're back on, Mike.

[Andy]

All right.

[Jason]

So this one. I don't know if you guys will truly realize the power of this name, because here's the thing. Does he have fighting experience? I have no idea. Honestly. Have no idea. But I've seen this man, and this dude is so old and this dude is so jacked that there's. There's no blood left in this man's body. It is just human growth hormone.

[Andy]

Oh, please don't take the one I want.

[Mike]

I don't know.

[Jason]

I have no idea where you're gonna.

[Andy]

I just know the one I want is, like, famous for human growth hormone.

[Jason]

Oh. Oh, there's a few of them. Yeah, there's a few of them. No. But lately, this man might be trying to sell you some insurance, but you put this guy in a tight black shirt, AKA Whiplash, with J. Poop Simmons. JK Simmons, AKA Poop Poop Simmons. If you ran on that joke, that dude is jacked.

[Andy]

That.

[Jason]

And when he wants to be scary.

[Mike]

Yeah, he's scary. He is, like, real scary.

[Jason]

Imagine having to go to J.K. simmons and say, sir, I am going to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage. You would not have that conversation. He is so intimidating.

[Mike]

So 70.

[Jason]

I don't know if it's intentional, but. So I'm going to say he's so unintentionally mean and scary and intimidating. And his arms are so yoked for an old man. I'm taking him on my team.

[Mike]

He's on the list. He's on the list. He's only 70. Jason, you have Schwarzenegger and Norris. You get two picks left.

[Andy]

Okay, well, the one that I knew I wanted, who is currently. I mean, I remember a decade ago, he came out in an interview.

[Jason]

Dude, I'm looking at Jake. Did you guys see that Santa movie he was in?

[Mike]

He's just.

[Andy]

He's. He's. Dude, he's shredded.

[Jason]

What is this dude made of?

[Andy]

But I know someone else who was up there in age, in his 60s, who is also shredded. He is much more shredded than jk. No way.

[Jason]

No way.

[Andy]

His neck and his face have muscles, Mike. Okay, okay.

[Jason]

Hit me.

[Andy]

And this guy, I think, like, a decade ago was, like, in an interview, saying, like, human growth hormone is the future. I don't understand why. It's not legal. Everyone should be on it. It's a fountain of youth. And it's been okay for Sylvester Stallone.

[Jason]

I knew you. I mean, the guy who got caught in Australia for the H. I mean, look at him.

[Andy]

He looks like a.

[Jason]

You know, he's like 4, 8, so I don't care.

[Mike]

So long was on.

[Jason]

Can bench press JK Simmons will snap on him.

[Mike]

He might be crazy. And because of that, I'm afraid he might. Like.

[Jason]

How tall is J.K. simmons?

[Mike]

Ruined my squad. But Stallone was on the list. You got another pick.

[Jason]

J.K. simmons is 5 11. Dude, dude, you're.

[Mike]

You're done.

[Jason]

Look up Stallone.

[Andy]

Okay, Stallone was Rocky. Okay? When it comes time to box and punch and Stallone's five, ten, Boom.

[Jason]

No, he's not. Yeah, in your bra.

[Andy]

He wasn't before HGH, Mike. He's almost 6, 3 right now. He's still. He's still a growing boy. All these other people trying to do it the natural way. He's like, I'm going to be the Hulk by the time I leave this earth.

[Jason]

So I searched Stallone height. The first thing that pops up, you know the Google results. It's 5, 10. And the first result, Sylvester Stallone, oddly looking quite tall next to six foot.

[Andy]

Yeah. The only thing I have to worry about with my team, the only thing I have to worry about is tumor growth. With. With all the amount of HGH, there's no way in my team.

[Jason]

All right, Mr. Sly's height at the peak of his life was five, eight or five, seven, three. Quarters. Now, he's currently five foot six. He wears three inch lifts that he.

[Andy]

Will use to step on. JK Simmons.

[Jason]

How tall is Stallone? We got to get to the bottom of this.

[Mike]

Three, seven.

[Andy]

All right, I want an athlete. We haven't taken any athletes. We've taken some fighters, we've taken some celebrities. I want Herschel Walker. I want. That's a great professional athlete. And the only reason I even think.

[Jason]

And a little bit psychotic.

[Andy]

Fight to the death.

[Jason]

Some screws have come loose.

[Andy]

Nice. Good luck catching Herschel Walker, you old men. When it's like I just jog out of your way.

[Mike]

Yeah, it's a good pick.

[Andy]

Also funny, because when I was looking this up, I didn't think about. Actually I saw something that said Ray Lewis was 60. I was like, oh, I'm taking Ray Lewis 50.

[Mike]

Oh, yeah.

[Jason]

Now what? So I've heard tale. Because I've seen interviews of Walker and if you see him, I mean, the dude is still a specimen. He was an NFL player, legendary. Is he hall of Fame?

[Andy]

Oh, he has to be.

[Jason]

I mean, just legendary. Running back in the NFL back in the day. So, you know, he's.

[Mike]

No, he's not in the hall of Fame.

[Jason]

Okay.

[Mike]

I think he had his.

[Jason]

It was a short career.

[Mike]

Too limited.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Jason]

But the point being, he was a.

[Mike]

College Football hall of Fame.

[Jason]

He was a legendary NFL running back back in the day when you could get away with certain things and the game was a little tougher.

[Andy]

Wow.

[Jason]

And it's still yoked to this day. And he talks about in interviews, he's just like, yeah, I just do like push ups.

[Andy]

Yeah, he was famous for that. No, it's. That's.

[Jason]

I'm asking you.

[Andy]

That's where one punch came from. I'm asking one punch, man.

[Jason]

Is that guy really just.

[Andy]

But he doesn't do like 50 pushups. He does like a thousand push ups a day.

[Jason]

I don't care how many push ups you're doing. You are taking it that big.

[Andy]

I think body weight, exercise.

[Jason]

Stop trying to move me along.

[Mike]

I'm Norris Stallone. Walker, you have Jackie Chan, Wesley Snipes, and J.K. simmons.

[Jason]

We're going to. Can he fight? I have no idea. Is he crazy? 1,000% Tom Cruise.

[Andy]

He was on my list. Yes. Wait, you just were like, look up his height. He'll step on him. And then you take Tom Cruise.

[Jason]

Has Sylvester Stallone strapped himself to an aeroplane and taken off where you're just strapped on and you're holding on for your stunt. And then you do it 15 times.

[Andy]

But you're able to do that when you weigh 20 pounds and you're four foot seven.

[Jason]

No, you're not. No, you're not.

[Mike]

Sylvester Stallone's four. Oh, is that who you're asking about?

[Andy]

No.

[Jason]

Well, Stallone's height is undetermined. First, he's still growing.

[Andy]

He's still growing.

[Jason]

He's not five' ten.

[Andy]

He is.

[Jason]

I promise you, he's not five.

[Andy]

He absolutely is.

[Jason]

Now, on an apple box, I'm going.

[Mike]

To counter the Herschel Walker with a player that's a little more broad in his skill set. He's 63 years old. He knows everything, so he must know fighting. Bo Jackson.

[Jason]

Oh, Bo knows.

[Andy]

How's that? How's that hip?

[Mike]

I mean, I don't think your hips are doing any better.

[Andy]

I'm just saying, a career ended by a hip injury, and then you're old. I don't think the hip is.

[Mike]

He can use a baseball bat better than Herschel Walker.

[Andy]

Yeah, but you don't get one in the fight.

[Mike]

He's bringing one. Bono's. Bono smuggling weapons. Keanu Reeves, John Claude Van Damme. Danny Trejo and Bo Jackson. Jackie Chan. Snipes. J.K. simmons and Tom Cruise. And then Schwarzenegger, Norris, Stallone and Herschel Walker. Honorable mentions I had written down didn't pick Liam Neeson.

[Andy]

Yeah, for sure.

[Mike]

Yeah. Cruz would have been my last pick. Harrison Ford. Because I feel like if you can land a plane in your 70s, you might be able to get through a fight.

[Jason]

I don't know, but it's like Ford and Neeson. I've seen them walk.

[Mike]

Same with Patrick Stewart, who I just won on the team. But he gets annihilated.

[Jason]

He'd get annihilated just to pump your team up.

[Mike]

You know who's older than I thought? Bryan Cranston. Yeah, he's 69.

[Andy]

I really wanted Robert Downey Jr. But we got to wait about another month before he's 60.

[Mike]

Oh, man.

[Andy]

Viggo Mortensen.

[Mike]

Yeah, Vigo.

[Jason]

Oh, the Vigo.

[Andy]

And if we're adding to the crazies, I really wanted Mel Gibson because the amount of. The amount of hair that's on his face now, I think he's Wolverine. I think he's literally become Wolverine.

[Jason]

My sneaky pick I did not go with was Billy Blanks.

[Andy]

Who is that?

[Jason]

Tybo.

[Andy]

Oh, yeah, that's a good one. Okay.

[Mike]

I thought somebody might go. Bill Russell.

[Andy]

I wanted someone like that. I just wanted shaq. But Shaq's 53.

[Mike]

Oh, man. Okay.

[Andy]

I mean, that would be unfair to have someone like that.

[Jason]

I.

[Andy]

What did we learn today?

[Mike]

My bad.

[Jason]

Before I interrupt me, I saw Kenny Smith on tnt.

[Mike]

Oh, he can't walk.

[Jason]

Shoulder check Shaquille o' Neal into a Christmas tree and he went down like a sack of potatoes.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah. They're not. They're retired.

[Jason]

They're not very sturdy anymore.

[Mike]

I learned today that the majority of the world is they like a good non electric razor.

[Andy]

That's funny because I feel like what I learned is that the correct opinions are held by the minority of people.

[Mike]

Unless you're in the majority.

[Jason]

Did I learn anything today? I mean, I got a little more faith in humanity with the people who admit that they pee in the show.

[Mike]

Pee.

[Jason]

Pee in the show.

[Mike]

You know what's crazy too is Papa Josh learned that he needs the answers to the quiz if he's gonna run the show.

[Jason]

How does a teacher possibly grade these papers?

[Mike]

See you later Everybody.

[Jason]

Goodbye.

[Mike]

Episode 350 is done.

[Andy]

Thanks for listening to the Spitballers podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to. Check out spitballers pod.com.

[Jason]

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[Andy]

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