Donkey Kicks & Foods That Taste Better Than They Smell - Comedy Podcast

Summary

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Spitballers Comedy Podcast – Episode Summary

Episode: Donkey Kicks & Foods That Taste Better Than They Smell

Hosts: Andy, Mike, and Jason
Date: March 30, 2026

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Overview

This episode of the Spitballers Comedy Podcast is a raucous deep-dive into life’s least urgent (but most entertaining) questions, including a draft for “Foods That Taste Better Than They Smell,” donkey kick appreciation, and the usual banter about everyday family life, bad bets, possessions, and more. Alongside laughter, the trio shares opinions on home improvement dreams, hoarding, useless cords, and their collective television tastes (or lack thereof). All delivered with their signature squabbling dad energy and ever-present willingness to overthink the silliest subjects.

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Main Segments and Discussion Points

Opening Banter & Bets Gone Wrong

Timestamps: 01:19–05:16

• It's Andy's birthday and the team immediately riffs on podcast intros and "scatting" (their musical nonsense intros), leading to a story about a lost bet.
• Jason and Andy recount a long-running bet about how many times Andy owed a “scat” performance after a Christmas party deal—Andy loses the bet, gives Jason $100, who immediately pays Mike for his own future scat cover.
  • Andy: “I'm so stupid.” (04:31)
  • Jason: “I got the $100 from Andy on his birthday where he still had to scat. And then I turned around and I gave that hundred dollars to Mike for my next scat. I will never scat again, people.” (05:04)

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Would You Rather: Garage vs. Pantry & The Great American Junk Dilemma

Timestamps: 05:26–18:00

• The hosts debate: Would you rather have a garage or pantry that’s twice as big?

  • Jason dreams of a walk-in pantry or even a refrigerator-room: “I want countertops and outlets and put my entire kitchen inside the Pantry.” (07:09)

  • Andy exposes Jason: “You've looked into pantry renovation.” (07:25)

  • Mike argues for more garage space, leading to a hilarious anti-hoarding/self-roasting tangent about the proliferation of storage units in America.

  • Jason blames spouses for the junk, but hosts and listeners know they’re all guilty:

    • Andy: “This would be like me saying. Jason. Yes, listen, you can have partial ownership of my couch. $100 a month. I'll store it at my house.” (13:51)
    • Jason: “If you have a theater out there, let me tell you, hit me up, because I can. I can do your whole show.” (15:07)
    • Andy (regarding old items): “The only way you ever need any of those items ever is the day you get rid of them.” (17:19)

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Would You Rather: Daily Loud Farts or a Noisy Potato Chip Bed?

Timestamps: 18:04–23:33

• Next dilemma: Would you rather loudly fart every time you sit down, or have whatever surface you lie on make a loud potato chip bag sound every time you move?
  • Jason, embracing full realism: “I put myself up against any farter in the world and I will beat you.” (18:37)
  • The trio spirals into stories about weaponized flatulence, spa mishaps, and the trials of middle-aged sleep (“I am 10 minutes. Flip. 10 minutes, flip 10 minutes…” Jason, 21:39).
  • Bursts of laughter as Jason recalls, “I can fart like crazy… but smell, I don't have the stinkiest. I've met people that…” (19:02)
  • Mike: “The farts are…a lifelong daily 24 hour a day symptom.” (18:36)

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Spitballers’ TV Roundtable: Is “Paradise” Actually Good?

Timestamps: 23:33–32:21

• Heated discussion on Jason’s latest TV show recommendation, “Paradise”, as Andy and Mike roast him for overselling the show.
  • Andy: “Because your show got a 6.6 out of 10, so. Of course you don't…” (22:56)
  • Mike: “I'm like, whoa, do I need to watch this show?” (27:01)
  • Jason (cornered about “Paradise’s” mediocre rating): “Six and a half out of every 10 people love it. …But it turns out my score's pretty darn good because I got a 6.5 out of 10. …I'm starved for something that's not a 3 out of 10.” (29:03–29:56)
  • Riffing about the importance of being “the guy” who recommends a show and everyone at the company being drawn into the ratings argument.

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Would You Rather: Designing a New Lane on the Highway

Timestamps: 33:26–40:14

• The hosts imagine a lane on the freeway designated for a demographic comprising at least 20% of people.
  • First ideas: Height lane (“Six footers only, baby. Because there's got to be more than 20%.” Mike, 34:42), tattoos, migraines, people with allergies, people with attached earlobes, people who exercise regularly, and more.
  • An unexpected comedic highlight is the suggestion that podcast listeners should get their own lane, celebrating the audience: “People who listen to podcasts regularly. 20 or 30%... That's going up. Because we're changing lives with our important show.” (40:01)

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Would You Rather: Forced to Keep a Farm Animal Indoors

Timestamps: 41:06–44:22

• Everyone must keep a farm animal indoors—what do you choose?
  • Pig is the universal favorite (“Pig is like a dog,” Jason, 41:20).
  • Discussion of pigs as pets and the myth of their cuddliness; drift into issues with other animals (“Goats eat everything… Sheep just die, right?” 42:51–43:01).

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Donkey Kick Appreciation & Animal Combat Moves

Timestamps: 44:36–47:41

• Bizarre but hilarious tangent: why don’t more animals “donkey kick”?
  • “Donkey kicks are two legs. … Donkeys, they started doing it.” (45:19)
  • Back-and-forth about the correct execution of donkey kicks, workout references, and live attempts to get donkey kick pictures projected on their studio’s new video wall.
  • “All donkeys can regular kick, but not all kicks are donkey kicks. This is common knowledge.” (46:24, Andy)
  • This motif resurfaces repeatedly as a running gag for the remainder of the episode.

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The Spitballers Draft: Foods That Taste Better Than They Smell

Timestamps: 48:58–65:00

Draft Order & Picks

1. Jason

   • Pick 1: Hard-boiled eggs/"deviled eggs" (50:16)
     • “Deviled eggs are awesome. …To make deviled eggs, you have to hard boil eggs…when you boil eggs, you better…you’re ruining your entire house.” (50:25–51:00)
   • Pick 2: Broccoli (55:51)
   • Pick 3: Fish (not just tuna) (58:39)
   • Pick 4: Rotisserie chicken leftovers (65:10)
     • “It smells objectively rotten. Brand new. …It smells awful.” (65:18)

2. Andy

   • Pick 1: Blue cheese (51:13)
   • Pick 2: Canned tuna (55:27)
   • Pick 3: Caesar dressing (contains anchovies) (59:45)
   • Pick 4: Soy sauce (63:55)

3. Mike

   • Pick 1: Sauerkraut (52:43)
   • Pick 2: Brussels sprouts (53:57)
   • Pick 3: Yogurt (60:46)
     • “Yogurt smells so incredibly bad…Like, if you make a smoothie and it's yogurt based…but you wouldn't have, like, a container of dannin.” (60:50)
   • Pick 4: Beef jerky (62:24)
     • “When you open up a bag of beef jerky, I get farty. It gets farty in there.” (62:35)

Notable Draft Banter and Quotes

• Foods that “taste better than they smell” are, according to Jason, just foods that “smell like a fart,” prompting rapid-fire juvenile humor throughout the draft. (55:34)
• Debates about whether raw or roasted broccoli is superior—with Mike insisting, “I am very much on team raw broccoli. Over cooked broccoli.” (56:04)
• The running gag of “deep frying a turd” being the universal solution to making anything taste good circles back cheekily to the draft’s theme. (54:41)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I put myself up against any farter in the world and I will beat you.” – Jason, 18:37
• “Six and a half out of every 10 people love it. …I’m starved for something that's not a 3 out of 10.” – Jason on ‘Paradise’, 29:03–29:56
• “This would be like me saying. Jason. Listen, you can have partial ownership of my couch. $100 a month. I'll store it at my house.” – Andy, 13:51
• “Donkey kicks are two legs.” / “All donkeys can regular kick, but not all kicks are donkey kicks. This is common knowledge.” – Mike & Andy, 45:13, 46:24
• “Sauerkraut is actually delicious. …Almost everything in the pickled sour category is delicious.” – Andy, 52:54
• "Raw broccoli and ranch is elite." – Jason, 58:02

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Running Gags & Recurring Themes

• Donkey kicks: Bizarre fascination with the eponymous move, integrating donkey kick images into the in-studio video wall and repeatedly returning to its comedic potential.
• Food = farts: Nearly every draft pick gets compared to fart smells, with Mike and Jason gleefully hammering the theme.
• Possessions and Hoarding: Multiple tangents about the futility of American storage units, keeping too many cords, and never, ever needing the things you store.
• Show recommendations gone awry: Jason’s “Paradise” stand becomes the subject of relentless mockery.
• The futility of adulthood: Whether obsessing about pantries, junk, or failing to sleep well, the hosts self-identify as aging dad-types making the best of it with laughter.

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Closing Thoughts

Despite the absurd topics, the Three Dad Hosts manage to provide relatable commentary on everything from hoarding to pet hygiene to the unending search for a good TV show—while delivering the clean, family-friendly nonsense their audience loves. If you’re looking for a hearty laugh, new spins on what it means to adult, and some genuinely creative food rankings, this episode is a must-listen (or at least a must-skim).

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Episode Timeline (Quick Reference)

• 00:00–01:19 – Ads & intro
• 01:19–05:16 – Opening banter, Andy’s birthday, wild $100 bet story
• 05:26–18:00 – "Would You Rather": Garage vs. Pantry and the Great American Stuff crisis
• 18:04–23:33 – Loud farts vs. potato chip bed
• 23:33–32:21 – TV Show Recommendation Battle: “Paradise”
• 33:26–40:14 – Invent your own highway lane for a demographic
• 41:06–44:22 – Forced to keep a farm animal indoors
• 44:36–47:41 – Donkey kicks, animal fighting moves
• 48:58–65:00 – Draft: Foods That Taste Better Than They Smell
• 65:00–66:59 – Honorable mentions & wrap-up

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Transcript

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[Jason]

Aruba loves you. Seriously. Like the entire island. You don't believe me? Then visit it and you'll see. The beaches will soothe you with warming love. The water will heal you with cleansing love. The food will fill you with delicious, delicious food love. And the people, well, they offer the warmest love of all. That's a lot of love. Hope you like feeling incredible basically the entire time you're there. Just be sure to return the favor. So go ahead and meet Aruba and then love Aruba. Plan your trip [e-mail]. What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. Bloop blap ding a da bing bonga

[Mike]

dingle boop or dingle boop. Is that, like, instead of a light bulb, a dingle bulb?

[Jason]

Because I think I've had those after some chipotle. I've had a dingle bulb before.

[Andy]

I'm so tired of scatting for this man.

[Mike]

A dingle bulb is definitely after you go two. Two swipes and you miss one.

[Jason]

Oh, yeah. Let me just pull back the curtain.

[Andy]

Oh, gosh. We're going to do this.

[Jason]

Yeah, of course we're doing this. This is. We are recording this on any Andy Holloway's birthday.

[Mike]

Open and vulnerable.

[Jason]

And we should have a rule. I would say we should have a rule that no one should have to scat on their birthday. You have to come into work. You got to be here. You got to record. You shouldn't have to be forced to do this.

[Mike]

Well, Josh doesn't have to be here.

[Jason]

Well, he would never be here on

[Andy]

his birthday or other people's birthday or

[Jason]

other people's birthdays, relatives, birthdays. He takes so much time off work. But for us adults in the room like Andy, congratulations being here on your birthday. It was my scat today, and he was.

[Andy]

Andy was so sure he is here on my birthday.

[Mike]

Josh. Yeah. Why are you here now?

[Jason]

Shocked that you are here.

[Andy]

There's someone, and it's my birthday. So unimportant to Josh. You wouldn't take it off.

[Jason]

That's what it means. It's not a privilege it's not. No. You're gonna try to turn around and be like, I love Andy so much. That means you didn't even know it was his birthday.

[Andy]

That's what it means.

[Jason]

I did know it was his birthday.

[Andy]

Because if he did, he would have scheduled it off.

[Mike]

Absolutely.

[Andy]

Out of respect.

[Jason]

He has respect for you.

[Andy]

Okay, go on.

[Jason]

But Andy, this is about 30 minutes ago, was positive he had fulfilled the scats.

[Andy]

We made a bet 100 years ago.

[Jason]

Well, let's put. Let's put it this way.

[Mike]

It wasn't a bad.

[Jason]

It was an agreement. A hundred years ago, we made an agreement. 100 years ago. We made an agreement I'd go to

[Mike]

Las Vegas and make an agreement with the blackjack dealer.

[Jason]

I'm going to make an agreement here. I'm going to put these chips down

[Mike]

and you're going to take them.

[Jason]

Yeah. That's an agreement they will agree to. So anyways, our company Christmas party. Now, I don't know if this is a spit hit at this point, but so long ago, we are not near Christmas. No, you made an agreement.

[Mike]

We're in the.

[Jason]

An offer to me about whether or not I would do a certain show for you after our Christmas party and you will do my next number of scats. Today, you were positive that that number you had made an agreement was three.

[Andy]

Only a billion zillion million dollars worth.

[Jason]

Positive. Well, when you said, I will bet you a million bazillion dollars was 3. Because I'm like, no, you said 4. When you said, I will bet you a million bazillion dollars, I was ready to take that bet. However, I knew you would never agree to a million bazillion.

[Andy]

Right.

[Mike]

So I was like, also, because that's not a.

[Jason]

It's not a.

[Mike]

It's not a real number.

[Jason]

It's got to be a real number.

[Mike]

Bazillion.

[Jason]

You can figure it out. Is bazillion a real number?

[Mike]

No.

[Jason]

See, this is Jeremy, look up bazillion. Anyways, it is not. So I look it up. I did again. Anyways, so I told Andy, I will bet you $100.

[Andy]

This is just insult to injury.

[Jason]

100 on his birthday. $100.

[Andy]

I'm so stupid.

[Jason]

To which he agreed to. We had a handshake. We looked it up, and he had said four scats, not three. So I get the hundred dollars.

[Andy]

The whole thing's a mess because I hosted the Christmas party. I shouldn't have had to do.

[Jason]

No, you shouldn't.

[Andy]

I shouldn't have had to do.

[Jason]

It was Your next morning that originally put you in that show. Taking it from Mike.

[Mike]

You scheduled the date.

[Jason]

That's true. That's also true. But anyways, bearing the lead.

[Mike]

So I got the hundred dollars, like, Friday. Why would we do this on Friday?

[Jason]

I got the $100 from Andy on his birthday where he still had to scat. And then I turned around and I gave that hundred dollars to Mike for my next scat. I will never scat again, people.

[Mike]

Ah, I got $100.

[Jason]

It's been a good day. A good birthday for everyone around here.

[Andy]

Unbelievable.

[Mike]

You should make more bad bets.

[Andy]

Andy, we are on episode 361 of the Spitballers. We have. Would you rather. That's a great question. And we are drafting from a year's

[Jason]

worth of four away.

[Andy]

Yeah. From a year's worth of scats or shows. We're drafting things that taste better than they smell. So we'll leave that to your imagination. We'll get to it soon. Let's start with some. Would you rather?

[Jason]

Would you rather.

[Andy]

Well, Josh wants to remind everybody that he won $100 on my birthday as well because he won our little company pistachio throwing contest. I think that's $50.

[Jason]

Those are. I was going to say that's $100.

[Andy]

I think it's $50.

[Jason]

It was not $50.

[Andy]

Oh, it's 100.

[Jason]

I mean, what did you do? What did you do?

[Andy]

I got a lot of Amazon gift cards to give away.

[Jason]

We thought you got a lot of $50 gift cards.

[Andy]

Ask Al how many he's won.

[Jason]

Owl, how many? We've been doing this for months and months. We've probably done this 50 times. How many times have you won? Within our office of like, eight other people eligible to win this, I am alone in the elite group of people who have never won this competition.

[Andy]

I'll give you a $0 gift card.

[Jason]

You've given me plenty.

[Andy]

Would you rather your garage be twice as big or your kitchen pantry be twice as big?

[Jason]

Oh, I mean, I'm. I'm. I am so far on one side, I am ineligible for this.

[Mike]

I am so far on one side.

[Andy]

Some people want cars and they want to store a bunch of cars.

[Jason]

No, I don't want cars and tools that want workshop.

[Andy]

You are a pantry.

[Jason]

Oh, man.

[Mike]

I don't want cars.

[Jason]

I don't want tools. I want a pantry that is like a 30 foot chicken run. I want to go into the pantry. I want to cook in the pantry. I want countertops and outlets and put my entire kitchen inside the Pantry.

[Andy]

You've looked into pantry renovation.

[Jason]

I have, genuinely.

[Andy]

And the kind that I won't even tell people.

[Mike]

Have you considered. I have looked into like taking garage space for your pantry.

[Andy]

I have.

[Jason]

I have. Not even a joke. I looked into expanding my. I've got like a mud room off my garage.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Jason]

I looked into converting that into what we will call a pantry.

[Andy]

Yeah. But what he means is a freezer.

[Jason]

A walk in refrigerator.

[Andy]

Yeah, he's looked into a walk in,

[Mike]

walk in refrigerator freezer.

[Jason]

Like a room.

[Andy]

Just imagine a room is a fridge. That's what he looked at.

[Mike]

What are you trying to do? Like Rocky Balboa? Like, no, you're going to hang. Look, cow and just beat up on it.

[Jason]

If we're going to be real here and be ourselves, just tell the truth. Mike and I went to the wedding of. Oh, we did our manager in wherever. The middle of nowhere.

[Mike]

We'll call it Detroit.

[Jason]

We'll call it Detroit.

[Mike]

But it was not Detroit. It was some town that Detroit's never.

[Jason]

We had to take a small flight from Detroit to this place. Anyways, nightmare later, they had one pretty much Canada. It was pretty much.

[Andy]

Get it off your chest.

[Jason]

They had one that. That was an awful trip. Congratulations. They.

[Mike]

It was also in like the 90s.

[Jason]

They had one place that was the best place in the world. Didn't we name it? What was the name of that? No, I don't know. But they had converted this outside shed essentially into a walk in refrigerator. Because this was a catering place. It was. No, no. He had a vineyard.

[Mike]

They were on a big farm with a bunch of apples.

[Jason]

Oh, that's right.

[Mike]

It was apples. And they make like boutique, like apple, you know, like cider.

[Jason]

Cider.

[Mike]

And then. And they like make. They make like apple whiskey of some sort.

[Jason]

So this was a storage room. It was a business operation. But they had shown us that there was this little air conditioner, like a normal $100 air conditioner you buy that just goes in a wall. And there's this machine that they could plug in. They hacked it to hack it for

[Andy]

cheap to turn it into a type of thing.

[Jason]

It runs. It'll like burn out every year and a half.

[Mike]

It runs forever and doesn't free.

[Jason]

Yeah. And so. But it was the cool. It was awesome. So I went home immediately after that

[Andy]

trip and I was like, how do I do this?

[Jason]

I want a walk in refrigerator like that. Because it was the best place in the world. They're really expensive. There's a lot more than just that unit. So I Didn't do it. But I will take the pantry. Fouchou.

[Mike]

I will take the garage. Really?

[Jason]

I thought you were going to be on the pantry side.

[Mike]

What, for all of my cooking?

[Jason]

Well, you do the cooking. Yeah, you.

[Andy]

I mean, storing groceries, slowing down his enjoyment of it.

[Mike]

Yeah, but.

[Jason]

Okay, so was this an. You said you're very much on one side. Was this anti pantry or is this pro garage?

[Mike]

This is pro space to put junk. Junk, which. Oh my gosh, guys. So, yeah, this is a little soapboxy. So I apologize. But the other day, we're. We're driving around and there's been this empty, you know, piece of land on a main stretch of road and there's a. There's a giant new structure being put up and we're like, oh, what is this? Holy crap. Is that another storage it? Is that another storage place?

[Jason]

Yeah, they're.

[Andy]

They're very.

[Mike]

And it is.

[Andy]

And it's like, I know where that is.

[Mike]

Okay, so storage is big business. It is.

[Andy]

They can put like five storage places within a mile and everyone will get filled up.

[Mike]

It's big business in the United States of America. And I was watching it and you know what? It just that I was like, I'm a little grossed out.

[Jason]

And

[Mike]

I tell you, I'm looking in the mirror. So this is not an attack. This is an attack on myself of just, why do we have so much crap? We have so much stuff.

[Andy]

I mean, that we could talk about that for the whole time.

[Mike]

We have so much stuff now that now we must go to a business and say, hello, your extra room. That is not a part of my house. I would like to borrow your space because I have too much stuff that I gotta come put it in your

[Jason]

place A long time ago. What are we doing? A long time.

[Andy]

Living the right way.

[Mike]

What are we doing?

[Jason]

Storage units were places that you would rent for a maximum of three months. That was a place or temporary. I am exactly things.

[Mike]

It's like I have, you know, I have so much summer equipment. I got all this stuff for the lake. You know what I mean? It was like. And I can't possibly have that at my house, but I. But I use it for a huge chunk of the season, but I have to store it somewhere. Or you're like, there are exceptions that I totally recognize. But for the most part it feels like, what are we doing? Why do we need so many businesses? Because we have so much stuff. We don't know what to do here.

[Jason]

I can answer it.

[Mike]

It just goes there.

[Jason]

I can Answer it with one word. I can answer it with one word. And I'm sorry.

[Andy]

This will not let me be afraid of this word.

[Jason]

Yeah, of course. Wives. That's why. That's 100% why? 100%. No.

[Mike]

Yo. No.

[Jason]

Yeah, I hit my button before you. You tried. Oh, they're fighting. They're fighting.

[Andy]

I knew you were gonna say no. Brother Jason has a very personal connection to the accumulation of costumes.

[Mike]

I am part of the problem.

[Andy]

Listen, I am not part of my problem here. Here's what's weird.

[Mike]

Shipping pantry.

[Andy]

Boy, what if you told somebody? If you mentally went through it, what isn't? What is the storage unit cost per month? Al. What do you give me a. Just ballpark. 100 bucks.

[Jason]

Probably between 100 and 150.

[Andy]

That's what I thought. Okay, so 100. $150. What if I told you that you get the opportunity to rent a bunch of items to be stored in a room? You can't use them for $150 a month because that's what you're now doing. You're now renting possession of those items instead of selling them for profit. Right, Right. You could sell them for something most often or give them away, but instead you get to rent them. You don't get to use them. You get to rent the. This would be like me saying. Jason. Yes, Listen, you can have partial ownership of my couch. $100 a month. I'll store it at my house.

[Jason]

Okay, that's $100 a month. But you get to have partial ownership.

[Andy]

You have partial ownership.

[Mike]

Whenever you own a couch, you own it.

[Andy]

And you know it's not going to be usable by you.

[Mike]

Right?

[Andy]

It will be stored in my facility.

[Jason]

When you explain this to me.

[Andy]

Don't you want to rent it?

[Jason]

So much more upset than I already was. I was already. Look, we've got an RV garage at our house.

[Andy]

That is. This is your moment, Jay.

[Jason]

This is top to bottom.

[Andy]

You got an RV in there, right?

[Jason]

Oh, no, we couldn't. We can barely fit a skateboard in there, my man. That thing is.

[Andy]

You can barely fit a skateboard in an RV garage.

[Jason]

We have. Genuinely. We have, like, we've got five little scooters for our family of five, and they barely squeeze in on the. Right. This is not a small RV garage. This could. Whatever RV exists, you can get.

[Andy]

I mean, if you call it.

[Jason]

I mean, you can't get it in.

[Andy]

You already know how big it is. This is by default.

[Jason]

Yeah, this is.

[Andy]

At least.

[Jason]

I don't. I just Maybe people think I own a theater. I don't. I don't own a theater, but I have all the props, sets, and costumes. If you have a theater out there, let me tell you, hit me up, because I can. I can do your whole show.

[Andy]

Let's say you had full control over what's inside of that.

[Jason]

Okay.

[Andy]

What would you do?

[Mike]

Okay.

[Jason]

There's layers to this because burn them. I would. I would burn if. If that was my only iron man. Yeah, right. That wouldn't be. I mean, ideally, I'd sell them. I'd say, hey, I'd sell them. I would donate them. I would get rid of them to Salvation Armies. Hey, come pick up this stuff. Any theaters.

[Andy]

What if you need it?

[Jason]

If I need it? That's the thing. We don't need it. We don't need it.

[Andy]

We don't need anything.

[Jason]

We don't need.

[Andy]

We need almost nothing.

[Jason]

But if it came to it, if it was like a.

[Mike]

But I'm a buyer.

[Jason]

You're not allowed to sell it.

[Mike]

If he's doing, like. Here's the thing. If Jason's offering, he's gonna be like, this is so cheap. They say, yeah, I can't. I can't buy this deal if I.

[Jason]

If I.

[Mike]

What if I need the pink every. I don't know.

[Jason]

My RV garage is for sale. 50 bucks total. It's an on. You couldn't imagine.

[Mike]

I'm gonna buy.

[Andy]

I'm gonna buy it. Yeah. This is something we inherited, like some bits and pieces. Our parents generation was thrifty. This is the garage. They were the garage sale antique generation. You said wives. I'll disagree, because my grandfather was the biggest hoarder of anything that could be perceived as possibly valuable ever again that you could ever imagine. Old machines to make keys that don't work anymore in the garage because you can't get rid of something.

[Mike]

What kind of key you got there?

[Andy]

I mean, we make jokes.

[Mike]

Another one.

[Jason]

I used to be able to make that. Look.

[Andy]

We make jokes on our fancy. It doesn't work about. Can't cut that guy.

[Jason]

Yeah, can't cut that thing. I can't give it away.

[Andy]

You might need it.

[Jason]

We might do another show set in the 1920s that need sparkly dresses. We might do that someday. Can we have to hold on to these 20 dresses.

[Andy]

Do you ever see the little bit. I don't know the guys that do it. It was on YouTube where the dad finally has a need for the scrap.

[Mike]

The piece of wood.

[Andy]

The piece of wood that's in a certain shape for this certain situation.

[Mike]

Yes. It's the same. I mean, I drafted for one of our things. It was like I drafted the box of cords.

[Andy]

I remember that. Because what if you need it?

[Mike]

Yeah. What if what? What if only 1989.

[Andy]

The trick about it is the only way you ever need any of those items ever is the day you get rid of them.

[Mike]

Yeah, that's how it works.

[Andy]

It's the Murphy's law of possession.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Andy]

If you give that thing away tomorrow you'll need it. You'll need an ethernet cord. The.

[Jason]

That is true. That is 100% cord.

[Andy]

It's no chance.

[Jason]

But you want to know what's nice about the box of cords? You don't need a warehouse. You don't need to pay. Here's my $200 a month.

[Andy]

Buy an RV. Step one, step two, pull it into the garage. That's all I'm saying.

[Jason]

There's a lot of steps that have to come before I can fit that rv.

[Andy]

No, no. Pull it in.

[Jason]

Okay. I'm just gonna smoosh it all.

[Andy]

That's where I'm getting.

[Jason]

I guess it's got power and weight. It could get free.

[Andy]

I think it could handle the sparkly dresses. Jason.

[Jason]

I think it.

[Andy]

All right. Would you rather. By the way, my final answer is.

[Jason]

Oh, yeah. This is a legit question.

[Mike]

Do you know how much cool stuff I have that I can't get rid of?

[Andy]

It's garage. Would you rather loudly fart every time you sit down like Jason does? Or whatever surface you lie down on sounds like a loud potato chip bag. Every time you move.

[Jason]

Oh my gosh.

[Mike]

So your bed's like.

[Jason]

I don't know if it's age or just what I'm going through. I have no idea.

[Mike]

The farts.

[Jason]

The farts are neither of those. That's a lifelong daily 24 hour a day symptom. I have had that since birth. I can fart like crazy. I put myself up against any farter in the world and I will beat you. But what I was going to eat.

[Andy]

I beat you.

[Jason]

Professional fart.

[Mike]

I'll fart.

[Andy]

Smell.

[Mike]

Is this sound?

[Jason]

It's not smell.

[Mike]

Sound or quantity?

[Jason]

Both sound and quantity. Volume. We can. We can judge on any level. But smell. I don't have the stinkiest. I've met people that.

[Mike]

Because we. As well documented by episode. Whatever. When you drank the root beer and you nearly passed away.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Yeah. That was life. Life near death experience.

[Jason]

That was legit.

[Mike]

A thing that. That is very common amongst. Not you. You can belch on Command. And people will be like, I burp the Alphabet. Can you fart?

[Andy]

I cannot fart the Alphabet.

[Jason]

I cannot fart the Alphabet. But I can almost always fart on

[Andy]

demand, which is just unbelievable.

[Jason]

But you've been around me enough. You know that that's usually true.

[Andy]

I know that's almost always true, so I wish I didn't know that.

[Jason]

I apologize. I was really upset at pickleball yesterday at a couple plays, so I just had to. I just chose. That wasn't like I needed to fart. I just chose. I was like, farts need to happen here.

[Mike]

Have you ever weaponized?

[Jason]

Oh, yeah.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Oh, yeah. I'm 43 years old. You think I haven't weaponized my.

[Andy]

Yeah, you want to know? One time, like, one time, he was getting a cavity and it was hurting bad. Weaponized.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Sent the dentist a message.

[Mike]

Have you ever been at a chiropractor?

[Jason]

I've been at a chiropractor and just. Well, I hold.

[Andy]

He said, oh, you really got my lower back there.

[Jason]

My genuine. Like, I love. I adore. One of my favorite things in the entire world is professional massages.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Jason]

I love going to a fancy spa and just getting someone that knows what they're doing to work through the muscles. My number one, big. Well, number two, I got two issues.

[Mike]

Number two is. Number two.

[Jason]

I got two issues with massages.

[Andy]

Okay, just stick with number two.

[Jason]

We'll stick with number two. I don't know what you think number one is, your brother. I'm just worried about farting. I'm just. Number one. Is that when they. When you start face down too long. My nose. I think it's everybody.

[Mike]

Oh, yeah. Gets all clogged.

[Jason]

Just gets like. Like I can't breathe anymore. They got it. They gotta lay you down, face down for 30 minutes. And. Because when they go, like, 45 minutes, I just can't breathe anymore. And then I'm like. At that point, I'm just trying to survive and not fart. But my biggest fear is I just got enough. I'm so gassy. I have unlimited gas. What was the question?

[Mike]

The loud fart when you sit down or you. Your potato chip bag bed.

[Jason]

Oh, so I remember how we got here. I was talking about what I'm going through right now.

[Mike]

Oh, yeah.

[Jason]

I toss and turn in my sleep more than I've ever tossed and turned. I mean, I am. Once I'm asleep for about four hours, the rest from there until I wake up, I am 10 minutes. Flip. 10 minutes, flip 10 minutes.

[Mike]

You got a Lot of stress going on.

[Jason]

I have no idea, man. I don't know what it is. I'm taking magnesium. I'm doing all the old people things you're supposed to do. I got a sun blocker.

[Mike]

Light blocker, sun blocker.

[Andy]

I think I know what this is all about. It's because I don't like that show. You like. Well, you're really stressed out.

[Jason]

Take that off of me.

[Andy]

I don't like that one show you recommended.

[Jason]

It's a good show.

[Andy]

It's fine.

[Jason]

You know, one of the guys that agrees with you that it wasn't good. Came into me the other day, Said he's on the midway point of season two and he's really been enjoying it.

[Mike]

Oh, no.

[Jason]

Said it's getting pretty good.

[Mike]

Anyways, we're talking about paradise, guys. It's just.

[Andy]

It's a whole nother topic, this idea

[Mike]

that we all got a concert.

[Andy]

We all got to agree with each other on these. These takes.

[Jason]

We don't have to agree with each other on takes.

[Andy]

But isn't it amazing, though, how when you come in as overwhelming it is when you don't read a critics review and you have a movie you liked and they don't like it, you're like, maybe I shouldn't have liked it. Right.

[Mike]

Stupid.

[Andy]

Are we?

[Jason]

I don't think like that. When I read a critics review of something I really liked and they didn't like it, I don't think maybe I shouldn't have liked it.

[Andy]

I think that because your show got a 6.6 out of 10, so. Of course you don't.

[Jason]

Oh, man,

[Andy]

I'm going to run out of battery in an hour.

[Jason]

Pushed his cord down the hole.

[Mike]

Jason is ready to fight people to the death.

[Andy]

Oh, my gosh.

[Mike]

Over his love of this show.

[Jason]

Look, I don't. This is not.

[Mike]

Mike, if you pull it back now,

[Andy]

Mike, if you start watching this show, you're only going to hurt Jason.

[Jason]

I.

[Andy]

There's just.

[Mike]

I have never seen it, nor will I ever see it.

[Jason]

I am enjoying paradise. It's a. It's a good show.

[Andy]

I walk it back.

[Jason]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not walking anything back. It is a good show. I really enjoy it. It is way better than 6.6. This is not an all time, and I've said that from the beginning.

[Andy]

You said the word elite.

[Mike]

You said you watched this is this.

[Jason]

I said this is not Game of Thrones. It's not breaking.

[Andy]

Wait, why did he say Mike?

[Mike]

He said during the first episode he would have those thoughts of and conversations with your wife of when while you're watching the first episode, you guys are like, this show was so good.

[Jason]

Yes, that happened.

[Mike]

No, that only happens with elite top tier shows.

[Jason]

I said it was. I think it's an elite show.

[Andy]

I need to know why he's up late at night. He's struggling with this. He's very proud of his recommendations.

[Jason]

Good show. Paradise is a really good show. Like really good. I don't think this show, it's not an all timer. It is not one of the best shows.

[Mike]

That's not how you were talking about the show.

[Jason]

You can be a really good show without being one of the best of all time. It is not in the Breaking Bad, Game of Thrones tier. It doesn't have that production value.

[Andy]

Hold on. It is down to a 6.5. It's not a 6.6.

[Jason]

Andy is on a mission. He's not a 6 anymore. Rate this one star. It's a really good show. That's.

[Mike]

But that's not how you were talking about the show.

[Jason]

I wasn't talking that it's a really good show.

[Mike]

No, you were talking it's a great show.

[Andy]

Season one, 6.7. Season two, 5.5.

[Mike]

We sit down, ladies and gentlemen. We sit down for lunch almost every single day as a company. We have a big table. We got all 10 or whatever of us and we just. We just shoot the crap at the. We spitball. You know, we talk and shows come up a lot because that's what people do. And Jason, could not the Halo glow around you as you talked about how great this show paradise was, which it was.

[Andy]

Was Al Borland suggestion and no one paid attention.

[Mike]

Yes. Yeah. And then, and then Jeremy got super mad because you were trying to take the credit of.

[Jason]

Of Jeremy's show.

[Mike]

Of Jeremy's show because you were the one who was telling everybody to watch it and it was going to be. You were the one because. Oh, man. When you're the guy that has the thing.

[Jason]

When you're the guy. This show to you.

[Mike]

When you're the guy that recommends the show and someone likes that show. Oh, man.

[Jason]

Spitwats. Spitwats. No, that's.

[Mike]

That's a great place to be.

[Jason]

I'm going to get.

[Mike]

You were trying to be that guy.

[Jason]

I'm doing it right now. Spit watch. Not a sponsor. Go watch paradise on Hulu.

[Mike]

It's creepy.

[Jason]

You're going to really enjoy it.

[Andy]

Listen, if you like CSI Albuquerque.

[Jason]

Oh my.

[Andy]

If you like.

[Jason]

Oh my God. Oh, my gosh. You. No, it's a really. There's. Look, I've made this argument to you, Andy. This is. It doesn't walk budget.

[Mike]

Can I watch If I have bunny ears on my tv, can I watch this?

[Jason]

No, it's not right in. It is more Lost. It is not CSI svu. If I say csi, but it's Lost. This is like a Lost show. Which. Lost was a really good show.

[Andy]

It's. It's definitely kind of like Lost.

[Jason]

Where do we. Anyways, spit Watts. Watch it, enjoy it, and then thank me later. And if you don't like it, that is totally not okay. Do not rate it and do not come to me with your.

[Andy]

All right. We did watch episode five and better than. Than the other four.

[Jason]

Yeah, I was only like, two episodes in when I started talking about lunchtime. Well, I just said. I said, I don't know yet, but I really like. No, you knew.

[Mike]

J.

[Jason]

You knew. Apparently I did because I continued watching it. It's very good. You knew.

[Andy]

You.

[Mike]

I don't watch any shows.

[Andy]

He's a hedgehog right now.

[Mike]

And I was like. I'm like, whoa, do I need to watch this show?

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Mike]

No, watch.

[Andy]

No, you don't, but you'll be fine.

[Mike]

And then, thank goodness, Andy came in with the network television comparison. Like, if. Oh, I've saved so much.

[Jason]

If right now. If right now, within this reach, Andy was bobbing for apples. I would hold his head up. I would not let him come up there for a long time. I'm so glad this came up in a. We have been showed us that our company Slack Channel has been. Because we got littered. We got three dummies against the rest of us who have seen it. That all love it. No, that has. So Mike is not watching the rest.

[Mike]

How many Mike has.

[Andy]

I don't think Josh has seen it.

[Mike]

Wait, wait. We got six people at the.

[Jason]

Yeah, most of the table seen it and likes it.

[Mike]

And then we got company Slay. You guys are listening while we're recording.

[Jason]

Schneider loves Josh. Josh loves it. Or not Josh. Jeremy loves it.

[Mike]

Josh, have you watched it?

[Andy]

No, I haven't watched it at all. I know better.

[Mike]

Loves it.

[Jason]

Bets loves it. That's five. Julia Papworth loves it. She's one of the people that got me into it. That's six. So I was already right. And I.

[Mike]

You do seem to have about 6.5% out of 10.

[Jason]

Well, look, six and a half out of every 10 people love it.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Jason]

The others hate it.

[Mike]

Jay, let me ask you this. On a scale of One to ten?

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Jason]

Oh, this is a good question.

[Mike]

Okay, a scale of 1 to 10, if you go to a school and a grade that you receive back is a 6.5.

[Jason]

That's a bad question.

[Mike]

How. How do you feel about that grade? Letter wise, what would you say that is?

[Jason]

Check this out. Jason explains paradise. No, no, Jason is.

[Mike]

Jason has to explain 6.5.

[Jason]

All right, so here's the thing. Six and a half out of ten

[Mike]

explain how it's good to get 6.5.

[Jason]

6.5.

[Mike]

Your child walks in with a 65% and they spin it. It's good.

[Jason]

They come and they tell me, I got a 65% on this test. And I say, that doesn't sound good at first. And he says, well, hold up, everyone else out there. When I look at all the tests, of all my friends, they're all getting at max. The best, the smartest, the brightest. The one who studies for everything is getting a 70% because tests aren't what they used to be, scores aren't what they used to be, and I'm starved for a good score. But it turns out my score's pretty darn good because I got a 6.5 out of 10. And there's no other tests that are worth an 80% anymore. So I love this six and a half. I'm so proud of my boy. I'm like, I have been waiting for something that's not a 3 out of 10. And so that's why I'm proud of my boy getting a 6.5, because I am starved for something that's not a 3.

[Andy]

That's amazing.

[Jason]

And that's what this show is.

[Andy]

My buttons and you hit, AKA this

[Mike]

is an indictment on.

[Jason]

On all other shows. Okay, we are. We are show starved. And this is.

[Andy]

You've lost perspective. Got it. All right, we're taking a break.

[Mike]

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[Jason]

Also for the this is why I don't watch shows for the listening audience that might not.

[Mike]

Why are you guys watching shows?

[Jason]

The listening audience might not have understood what happened there. If you're watching, which you should always be watching, we've got a new set.

[Mike]

Yeah, you're going to want to see. We have a new graphic in the back, I believe.

[Jason]

It's not a green, is it YouTube.com not AI. Not AI.

[Andy]

Not CGI.

[Mike]

It's just I.

[Andy]

That's right. It is just intelligence.

[Jason]

YouTube.com spitballers is it just spitballers or spitballers pod? No, I'll figure it out. But what happened was YouTube.com spitballers okay, so I didn't want to answer that question.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Jason]

And so Andy's finger was on a button to go to the next segment, I guess to the ad break.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Jason]

And I tried to make his.

[Andy]

I mean, I'm not hit the button. I'm literally 10 by 40 buttons.

[Jason]

You've got 40 buttons. And so I just reach over and hit a button at random on his board and it was Jason and explain.

[Andy]

Oh, it suits you.

[Jason]

Right? But I feel like I crushed that.

[Andy]

No, you really did a good job. I might watch it now.

[Jason]

That's a great question.

[Andy]

All right, let's move on. Here you are allowed to invent one new lane on the road that everyone must legally respect. However, your criteria for using this lane must include at least 20% of the population. What are you going to make the entry criteria? This is fun. So on the freeway, there's a new lane that you can add.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Andy]

But it needs to include at least 20% of the population. So, like we have the HOV lane which lets you drive in it if you know you have another person in the vehicle. It's not just one person driving solo.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Andy]

How is it this one needs to be 20% of the population, so it could be left handed people. That wouldn't work. Right. Because it's not 20%.

[Mike]

So I can't.

[Jason]

Lefties are only like 10%, right?

[Andy]

Yeah. So that one, you couldn't go lefty. You could do shoe size.

[Jason]

Ideally, you're looking for something that includes yourself, obviously, and then keeps it as close to 20 to keep the lane

[Andy]

as so IQ empty as possible.

[Jason]

Ooh. Oh, nice try. Did you ever not top 20%?

[Mike]

Now, I never IQ'd. I assumed the test would break if

[Andy]

I took it, but I don't think I ever IQ'd. No.

[Mike]

So. So you can't say this is like the autobahn lane.

[Andy]

Mike, Me and you have got to be in the height.

[Jason]

Oh, yeah.

[Mike]

Six footers.

[Jason]

Six. Six footers only, baby.

[Mike]

Six foot plus.

[Andy]

Because there's got to be more than 20%.

[Jason]

Oh, yeah. Can you imagine passing this guy on the freeway?

[Andy]

We're passing him on the freeway. Heads poking out of the top of our cars.

[Mike]

My knees are up to my ears.

[Jason]

Yes.

[Andy]

Because we are less comfortable in compact cars. We need to get home faster.

[Mike]

Yes, yes. Jason's feeling.

[Andy]

This is his favorite episode ever. I'm glad my final scat pal. Happy birthday is going well.

[Mike]

Yes. Height, dad.

[Andy]

Done.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jason]

Six foot and above. All right, well, I'm going to tell you something. I'm in, baby. You think I'm not in the top 20% of height on the globe?

[Mike]

Oh, of course.

[Jason]

Five' eleven is at the top 20%.

[Mike]

We're doing six. We didn't say top 20%.

[Jason]

No, but. But what if that's not 20%?

[Mike]

Is it not?

[Jason]

I don't know.

[Mike]

Oh, gosh, I don't.

[Andy]

I'm looking.

[Jason]

I think it's way narrower. I think the amount. The amount of people that are over six foot are not. Is not 20% of pop.

[Mike]

All right, I'm going bowel syndrome.

[Jason]

Oh, it's 50.

[Andy]

It's 15 to 20% of men.

[Mike]

Oh, Troy. Then we're going to 20.

[Jason]

Yeah. So you need to go one inch lower. Yeah. 5 11.

[Andy]

I think you're right.

[Jason]

That's right. Owl, eat our dust. I finally separated on height.

[Andy]

You know what percentage of women are 6ft or taller? Give me the percentage, because I got it for you.

[Jason]

A half. Half a percent. One percent. I mean, that's what I would guess.

[Andy]

Well under 1%.

[Jason]

Okay. I mean, genuinely, you want to know a percentage of woman six foot, you go, wow, that's rare. Because it is rare. What percentage of men? I would guess over 6 foot. I would guess 15%.

[Andy]

Yeah, I mean, you guess really well.

[Jason]

Thanks.

[Andy]

That is.

[Mike]

I don't ever.

[Andy]

So if you include all adults, it's complete. We don't get this lane because it's 8 to 10% of all adults.

[Mike]

So weird. 511 is like, I'm 6ft tall. I'm one of the guys that, like, I'm actually, I'm closer to 6:1. I'm 6ft and 3 quarters, but I'm one of the guys, like, I round down. I'm. I say I'm 6ft tall, which pisses me off because I'm a real. No, you're.

[Jason]

You're well taller than six foot.

[Andy]

Yeah, I actually was going to make the lane six one. Well, then I'm in to leave the 511 liars out of it.

[Mike]

But it's. I don't feel tall like I. In my. In my normal everyday life. I don't walk around feeling.

[Andy]

Now he's even madder.

[Jason]

That makes me that you also don't think you've got good hair.

[Mike]

No, I do.

[Jason]

Okay. All right. You wear a hat every day.

[Mike]

Yeah, because you.

[Jason]

You make the argument all the time that if you had ripped abs and you were, you would not wear a shirt.

[Mike]

That is correct.

[Jason]

Get your hat off, man. Well, sometimes you got John Stamos hidden under a hat.

[Mike]

Look, I also don't wear. I don't wear, like, diamond necklaces and diamond earrings because some things are too shiny, some things.

[Jason]

Your hair's too good. Yeah. Okay. Do you.

[Mike]

Do you understand what I would have to deal with every day?

[Andy]

I've got your lane, Mike. I've got. I've got something 20 to 30% of adults, okay, it's something you qualify for, but me and Jason don't. Oh, try to figure it out. 20 to 30% of adults have this.

[Jason]

A good memory.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Andy]

You've got it up and down both your arms. Oh, tattoos would work.

[Jason]

Really? That small?

[Andy]

Yes.

[Jason]

I feel like we're getting closer to like 30 or 40 of adults.

[Andy]

Of adults. 20 to 30% of adults.

[Mike]

It's definitely going up. And it's a club. You got to earn your way into the club.

[Andy]

Well, you earn it by paying somebody to put a tattoo on you, right?

[Mike]

Yes, you do have to sit there for it.

[Andy]

No, I'm aware. People with migraines, 15 to 25%.

[Mike]

Oh, I'm in there, too.

[Jason]

I'm not.

[Andy]

Everybody on the road that has an active migraine should get their own lane to get home.

[Jason]

They should not be driving.

[Mike]

They really should not be driving.

[Andy]

Sometimes it hits while you're driving, then

[Jason]

get off the road.

[Andy]

People with allergies, 20, 30%. You could get an allergy. Sneezy.

[Mike]

Lane, I am crushing this.

[Jason]

You are not. A majority.

[Mike]

Panic.

[Andy]

And attached earlobes. Attached earlobes would be 20, 30%.

[Mike]

Yeah. Where you don't have.

[Andy]

I think that's where it goes to the. Oh, no, you're loose. You're dangling.

[Mike]

Do we have your dangle? Do we have any. Wait, wait, hold on. No, no, no.

[Andy]

He's attached, right?

[Mike]

No, let me turn, turn. Go.

[Jason]

Go to my solo cam.

[Andy]

I think you're attached to. I would consider you an attached.

[Mike]

I've never looked at your lobes.

[Andy]

Yeah, you're an attached lobe. You are.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andy]

You are. You're in the lane.

[Jason]

I'm in the lane, baby.

[Mike]

You are. I've never looked at your lobes.

[Jason]

Okay, well, thank you for that.

[Mike]

What's going on with our office? What do.

[Andy]

Sirs, what's the lobe situation?

[Mike]

Josh is attached.

[Jason]

I am not.

[Andy]

Okay, okay. Couple guys with attached lobes in that lane. Hazel and green eyes is about 20%.

[Mike]

No, get them out of here.

[Andy]

I mean, you're.

[Mike]

You're. Oh, you're brown eyes.

[Andy]

You're brown.

[Mike]

No, I got.

[Andy]

I'm green.

[Mike]

I just got the dominant. Dominant traits.

[Andy]

People who exercise regularly.

[Mike]

20 to 30%, bro.

[Andy]

That's true.

[Mike]

If we. Hey, that would be an insane. You want to change America?

[Andy]

Oh, my gosh.

[Mike]

Elaine.

[Andy]

You unlock it. You unlock Elaine with a workout.

[Mike]

Yep.

[Andy]

24 hour. 24 hour access with a workout.

[Jason]

That is brilliant.

[Andy]

You do it in front of like a Optimus robot. It watches you and it says you've now you got to wear a whoop. And then you unlock a lane for that.

[Jason]

That would motivate. That would absolutely motivate me to work, save lives.

[Mike]

I feel like you could. You could make it even easier of just like, hey, you, like, do like 50 push ups, right? Here.

[Andy]

Oh, yeah.

[Mike]

Or whatever. Because it's like, if you can actually do that, that proves that you do work out. Because, I mean, how. What is the general male population.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Of guys who can do real 50 push ups? It has to be extremely. Yeah, yeah.

[Andy]

It's really low. It does change with age. How many you need to be able to do to be considered physically fit.

[Mike]

Yes. Yeah.

[Andy]

But you could have that number. By the way, this one's for our audience. We'll create the lane for you people who listen to podcasts regularly. 20 or 30%.

[Mike]

Oh, but that's going up.

[Andy]

Yeah, it is.

[Mike]

Because we're. We're changing lives with our important show.

[Andy]

All right, next great question for you. A new law is passed, and every household now must keep one farm animal indoors like a normal pet.

[Mike]

Oh, that's easy.

[Andy]

Choices are cow, goat, sheep, rooster, horse, pig, pig.

[Mike]

Yeah, it is pig.

[Jason]

I was waiting. I was just waiting.

[Andy]

Pig wouldn't be.

[Jason]

You got to take pig out because

[Andy]

pig is like a dog.

[Jason]

Pig is. I've got friends that have a pig with a dog door.

[Andy]

You were going to say. I got pigs in my house.

[Mike]

My. My youngest desperately wants a pet pig. Desperate.

[Jason]

My oldest.

[Andy]

Is it overrated, though, you think?

[Mike]

Yes, I think so.

[Jason]

Stinky, nasty, dirty. They're cute.

[Andy]

Are they friendly?

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Are they cuddly?

[Mike]

No, they're not.

[Jason]

No, they're not cuddly.

[Andy]

Could you make that pig.

[Jason]

They're not feeling like you don't want to pet a pig. They're not soft and. No, they're hard. Despite being big and fat, you'd think, oh, maybe they're cushy. They're not.

[Andy]

Are they firm?

[Mike]

Scaly?

[Jason]

They're not scaly, but their hair is rough.

[Mike]

Oh, okay.

[Jason]

You know what I mean? It's not a cuddly animal.

[Mike]

If you cut pig out, it's actually pretty easily Highland cow.

[Andy]

What is a Highland cow?

[Mike]

Look it up.

[Jason]

Okay, I'm on.

[Andy]

Is this something you experienced?

[Mike]

I experienced videos.

[Jason]

Are they small?

[Andy]

Are they small cows?

[Mike]

They're smaller.

[Jason]

They're like, oh, my goodness.

[Andy]

They're like.

[Jason]

Yeah, it's like a cow that needs a haircut.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Oh, that's nice. Yeah.

[Mike]

I received videos from my wife.

[Jason]

Okay. But this just said cow. This just said cow. So we're gonna assume farm cow, Jersey cow. No way. Yeah. Then it's grapes. Then it can't really be a problem. Rooster's o u T. Because it's waking

[Andy]

you up and the horse is too big.

[Jason]

No, I mean, it's a goat. It's a goat.

[Andy]

It's got to be the goats.

[Jason]

You just got to be careful with what all they can.

[Andy]

I mean the sheep, though. Sheep seems fine.

[Jason]

Oh, I didn't know there was goat and sheep.

[Andy]

Yeah, there's goat and sheep.

[Jason]

Much rather have a sheep.

[Andy]

Goats.

[Jason]

Goats eat everything.

[Andy]

What do sheep even do? Like if they're just left to their own devices, what do they do if

[Mike]

they're left to their own devices?

[Andy]

Die. Right. They've been bred to be protected by like.

[Mike]

Yeah, I think we've sheep ruined them. Like, we have ruined sheep. Yeah, they've been over domesticated.

[Andy]

Well, that's like any normal dog would just die or most of them.

[Mike]

Yeah, I mean, you're right.

[Andy]

I think every golden doodle out there is dead in a week.

[Mike]

There's some street tough dogs.

[Jason]

Yeah, yeah. They're not golden doodles. I don't think they're German shepherds either.

[Andy]

The poodles will die before the end of the day. Yeah.

[Jason]

I mean, set them free. Assuming that they cannot be cutely rescued. Right. Because anytime there's a golden doodle or a poodle or something on the road, be like, come up, we'll protect you. But like, if they were not allowed to be taken in, they would never know how to get food. They'd just be walking around looking for a bowl everywhere. Like, where is my bowl of food?

[Mike]

Yep.

[Jason]

Yeah, they're gone.

[Andy]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Jason]

I mean a cat at least. Like if you want to have the first ever me take the cat side over a dog. A cat in the wild. Yeah, they're fine. They'll hunt their food.

[Andy]

Now if a sheep. If you. If you told a sheep, like defend yourself, what does it do? What is the first action they get in?

[Mike]

They get in a real one sheep,

[Andy]

one on one against something.

[Mike]

Oh, it does it kick? No, it just dies.

[Jason]

It lays down.

[Andy]

It just explodes.

[Jason]

I don't know what it lays down

[Andy]

and exposes its neck.

[Jason]

Does it on my own terms. Would a sheep ever try to ram you like a ram? Like, would it try to headbutt? I don't know.

[Mike]

It's really the only thing it could possibly do.

[Jason]

That's it.

[Mike]

Also, why. Why don't more animals.

[Jason]

Sheep do frequently headbutt as a natural behavior to establish dominance, play or communicate.

[Mike]

Why don't more animals. Donkey kick?

[Jason]

That's their. That's what they should all do. I'll tell you why.

[Mike]

Donkeys, Donkeys just know like from birth. They're like, I want something. Check this out. Get out of my way. Donkey Kick.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Well, I mean, why does it be called a kick?

[Jason]

And then it was like, man, those

[Andy]

donkeys, they started doing it.

[Jason]

Horses can kill people with a kick.

[Mike]

Yeah, but they don't.

[Jason]

They.

[Mike]

They usually just, like. They'll just go one because that's all they need.

[Jason]

Wait, are donkey kicks always two?

[Mike]

Oh, yeah.

[Jason]

Really?

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Jason]

No, they're not. Yes.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Jason]

No, they're not. I'm on it.

[Mike]

Donkey kick.

[Jason]

Donkey kicks aren't.

[Mike]

Yeah, they are.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Front two legs on the ground, back two legs.

[Andy]

Oh, yeah.

[Jason]

Just giving you the business. I thought it was, like, a regular kick.

[Andy]

You thinking of a regular kick, bro?

[Mike]

No, no, no. It's a donkey kick.

[Jason]

What is this? I'm looking for donkey kicks. All I'm getting is workout videos.

[Mike]

I would say a horse kick if I wanted one leg, A don kick.

[Jason]

Donkey kicks are two legs.

[Andy]

You can picture that in your head.

[Jason]

Yeah, well, I can picture it, but I want to see it.

[Mike]

Hee haw. Two legs.

[Jason]

Oh, no. This guy's gonna get donkey kicked. Oh, he's gonna get donkey kicked. Yep, he got donkey kicked. That's two legs.

[Mike]

And it's not just one. They're like. They can rapid kick.

[Jason]

Okay.

[Mike]

They're amazing.

[Andy]

Yeah, I'm gonna send a. I'm gonna send a nice image into the old. Into our slack channel here.

[Mike]

Oh, is that a donkey kick?

[Andy]

Throw a donkey kick up on the back wall. Can we donkey kick your back wall out?

[Jason]

We don't get a video or a.

[Andy]

No, we don't need a video.

[Jason]

Got a picture? We don't do with this set, but we can do anything.

[Andy]

I mean, it's not the highest resolution picture I've ever sent.

[Jason]

I am seeing some donkeys do a single leg kick.

[Mike]

Yeah, but they're not doing a donkey kick then.

[Jason]

Yeah, they're just doing a regular kick. They're just doing a little.

[Andy]

All donkeys can regular kick, but not all kicks are donkey kicks. This is common knowledge.

[Jason]

I did not.

[Andy]

Thank you.

[Jason]

He's got a donkey kick on the back wall. Look at that. That is a dog. The set is paying off. Why don't other animals. Donkey kick? That's like, a powerful move.

[Andy]

If I was a mountain lion, I'm dead. I'm dead.

[Mike]

Our entire screen is a big.

[Andy]

It's a donkey kick. In a matter of seconds, that screen became a donkey kick.

[Mike]

Good work, douche.

[Andy]

If you find another better donkey kick, I want that up on the screen.

[Mike]

Oh, man.

[Andy]

I want as many donkey kicks as you can find. We're moving on. We're Taking a break. We're hitting the draft. What's going on? Spit wads. Look. A thoughtfully built wardrobe comes down to pieces that mix well. And last. And that's where Quint's shines. In fact, there were like three or four boxes from Quint sitting on our like in our closet at home. And my wife had picked up premium fabrics. Considered design everyday essentials that feel effortless to wear and dependable even as the seasons change. Quince has the everyday essentials you'll love with the quality that lasts. My favorite, the lightweight cashmere sweater. So comfortable. It's perfect. We. We can't do more than a lightweight sweater here in Arizona.

[Mike]

We'll die.

[Andy]

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[Andy]

All right, we are back. We're going to jump into the draft. Our team is working hard on all donkey kick graphics for our new back wall. Let's begin.

[Jason]

The Spitballers draft.

[Andy]

We are drafting things that taste better than they smell. There are things that. Well, the one that jumps to my mind right away.

[Mike]

Well, you're not first.

[Andy]

No, I know it's not. It's not a. Because I don't like it. I don't like how it tastes, so I'm just throwing it out. But the one smells bad.

[Jason]

But you're. You're gonna say something I think is on my list.

[Andy]

I'm just gonna say broccoli.

[Jason]

Yeah, of course. I knew you were gonna say that. I love broccoli. I'm just saying I'm gonna drop it later.

[Andy]

I walk and I'm not. That's why I'm ruining it. I walk into the House at home. And I know, you know from the moment you get into the house, no matter where you're at.

[Mike]

Cooked broccoli.

[Andy]

Broccoli. Oh, man, it smells like.

[Mike]

Just fart right in my face.

[Andy]

Yeah, just fart in my face and then eat it. All right.

[Mike]

Oh, there's more donkeys.

[Andy]

We got another donkey.

[Jason]

No, he's got. Oh, that's one leg.

[Mike]

That other back leg.

[Jason]

Second legs up.

[Mike]

Jason's in the way.

[Andy]

Blocking it.

[Jason]

It's not on the ground.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Okay.

[Mike]

Yeah. Because he had already.

[Andy]

He was just beginning to.

[Mike]

He's going. He's going with a pat.

[Jason]

Okay. No, dude, you got to get both. It is.

[Andy]

I like that it's.

[Jason]

In a realistic battle, you got to get both legs.

[Andy]

Did you AI that thing?

[Jason]

No.

[Andy]

Okay. See what AI thinks a donkey cook looks like and let us know. Jason, you have the first pick. Even though I scouted you get the first.

[Jason]

Oh, well, I guess I won't be drafting broccoli.

[Andy]

I'll go for it.

[Jason]

This is a pretty easy.

[Andy]

That would be things that taste like they smell.

[Jason]

That's what I think of broccoli. This is a pretty easy one. It's kind of a two for I'm going to drive.

[Andy]

Course it is.

[Jason]

Well, you'll understand because the thing that tastes really good that I love, I adore. If it's on a menu, I order it. I'm not going to have a Thanksgiving without it. Is deviled eggs. Deviled eggs are awesome.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jason]

But to make deviled eggs, you have to hard boil eggs. Yeah. And so it's really hard boiled eggs that are these.

[Mike]

It is danky.

[Jason]

It's most rain.

[Mike]

It's the 101.

[Jason]

It is like when you boil eggs, you better. If you got Thanksgiving, don't you make hard boiled eggs that day, you better make it the day before or you're ruining your entire house.

[Mike]

It's farts.

[Jason]

People just come in and be like, who had diarrhea?

[Mike]

Who has egg farts?

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Andy]

It's a good pick. And a hard boiled egg, you don't have to make deviled egg. Like, a hard boiled egg is delicious.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Andy]

Just put salt on an hard boiled egg. It's awesome.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Andy]

So that's a great pick. I'm going to go with blue cheese. I'm a fan of blue cheese. Blue cheese is known to smell bad.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Andy]

I mean, it's just taste bad if you. Not everybody's in on it, but those that are in on it, I feel like they're as passionate about blue cheese as Jason is about mediocre television.

[Jason]

No one.

[Andy]

I. I just feel like blue cheese. Obvious. I'm plugging more chords.

[Jason]

Oh, I muted him.

[Mike]

You've been muted.

[Andy]

I've never.

[Jason]

I've been.

[Andy]

I've known Jason 20 years. I can't get under his skin. I found one thing.

[Mike]

Yeah, but. But he's not really passionate about how good it is.

[Jason]

He loves it so much more than he's ever said.

[Mike]

He's just violently reacting. When you say it's not great, it's

[Jason]

because it's not bad. And I don't like when it's called bad. Oh, yeah, that guy gets. That guy.

[Mike]

Oh, that's AI slop.

[Jason]

That guy gets.

[Mike]

I know AI slope when I see it.

[Jason]

Donkey kick.

[Andy]

That is indeed a. I also, that

[Mike]

dude's face is way too.

[Andy]

He's enjoying that donkey kick.

[Mike]

No, no, he's not going to be feeling good.

[Andy]

So. Blue cheese, Mike. All right, I got two. Yep.

[Mike]

All right. Both of these are foods that. Honest. I did. I've grown into as an adult.

[Andy]

Got it.

[Mike]

1. Honestly, one of them was the Spitballers, because I guess I didn't really know what the. What it was. I just know that the name is disgusting.

[Jason]

So educational.

[Mike]

It smells disgusting. And then you guys told me what it was and I was like, well, why would I not like that? Going with sauerkraut.

[Andy]

Ah, that's a good pick. Sauerkraut is actually delicious.

[Mike]

It is delicious.

[Jason]

Tastes good.

[Mike]

Smells.

[Andy]

Almost everything in the pickled sour category is delicious.

[Mike]

Yeah, but it smells.

[Jason]

You guys had pickled eggs, like the two hard boiled eggs.

[Andy]

I have not had pickled eggs.

[Mike]

I bet I would enjoy it very much.

[Andy]

So you were just taking something you do something to and doing more to it.

[Jason]

Yeah, I mean, I like a pickled egg. I love pickled things and I love hard boiled eggs. And the idea of eating a pickled egg is disgusting.

[Andy]

Yeah, it doesn't sound great.

[Jason]

My mother in law made them for something. I don't know. It's been in my fridge for a year. I will never touch. They're like, oh, they're so good. I picked these eggs and I look at them and I'm like, there might as well be a human head floating in this pickle jar. Like, it's disgusting.

[Andy]

Yeah, dude. I saw a gelato flavor the other day at our local gelato place right next to the. Right next to the, like, you know, normal flavors. So egg yolk. Oh, that's the flavor. Egg yolk. Well, that's pretty Good egg yolk. Tough to say.

[Mike]

Hey, if you're a gelato store and you're still open. Congratulations.

[Andy]

You're up. Mike, you got one more. Sauerkraut's number one.

[Mike]

And Brussels sprouts.

[Jason]

Oh, that is.

[Andy]

I knew that would be picked.

[Jason]

That is.

[Andy]

I don't like them, man.

[Mike]

Brussels sprouts, when cooked up the right way, are. They're not just good, they're great.

[Andy]

That's what a lot of people think.

[Jason]

You want to know what you don't know?

[Mike]

They smell bad.

[Jason]

Yeah, they do smell bad. When you cook them, it's very similar to broccoli. When you cook them, it smells like farts. It ruins the house. They can be delicious. But one thing I didn't know for the longest time, because I made Brussels sprouts at home a lot. I really enjoyed them. Toss them in some olive oil, roast them, whatever. I found out when you go to restaurants and they're just this elite level. Brussels sprouts. Sugar? No, it's fried. It's deep fried.

[Mike]

Oh, yeah.

[Jason]

They're almost always deep fried. Like French fries. You just don't know because they're not, like, battered and they come out still looking like a vegetable. But it's like if you at home, if you're listening and you're like, oh, this restaurant, I love their Brussels sprouts. They're deep frying it. Just so you know, you are eating something very unhealthy, which is a cheat

[Mike]

code, because almost anything, you put it in a deep fryer and you're like, oh, it's edible.

[Jason]

Now, I don't know if. I mean, if you deep fried a turd, I'm not saying. I'm not saying you should eat it, but I'll bet if you ever wanted to enjoy one, you'd be like, not bad. If you ever have to eat a

[Mike]

turd in your life, you better drop

[Jason]

that in some frying oil.

[Andy]

Oh, my gosh. All right. My second pick after blue cheese is going to be canned tuna.

[Jason]

That was my next pick.

[Andy]

I mean, it's really just. There's nothing seemingly appetizing about opening that can of tuna.

[Jason]

All of these. All of these. When we talk about, like, oh, it tastes better than it smells. This really should just be called Smells like a fart. Food that smells like a fart. That's all this draft is. When you open a can of tuna, you're like, oh, who farted? The can of tuna just farted.

[Andy]

It's not. You're not wrong. You're not wrong.

[Jason]

Genuinely, man, I was really hoping that I got one of those two. I am taking broccoli. Broccoli is my next pick.

[Mike]

That's a great pick. It's on my list.

[Jason]

I love broccoli. I do, too.

[Andy]

Tastes better than it smells. Even though I don't like how it

[Mike]

tastes, I am very much on team raw broccoli. Over cooked broccoli.

[Jason]

Raw broccoli is better than cooked broccoli. I would agree with that.

[Mike]

It is the. It's the best of the dill tray.

[Jason]

That's kind of the. See, that's what you did. No, that's what you did at the end. You changed the narrative. You made it a scoop for ranch for. Or dill dip or whatever. You don't want raw broccoli. You want raw broccoli with dill.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jason]

Yes, because.

[Mike]

Oh, wait, you want cooked broccoli with nothing on it.

[Jason]

Absolutely. If you roast broccoli with what?

[Andy]

Wait, if you roast it? If you roast it.

[Jason]

If you roast it or pan fried, I make it both with salt and a little bit of oil. You say that doesn't count.

[Andy]

I'm saying it's not as plain as you said.

[Jason]

I'm not dipping it into.

[Mike]

Remember we just talked about deep frying a turd?

[Jason]

Yeah. Oh, my God. When you cook stuff in oil. Hold on, hold on. So you're telling me that if you cook with oil, not deep fry, but you just.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Jason]

So here's my process. I'm gonna take a bowl, I'm gonna put the broccoli florets in. I'm gonna put some olive oil, some seasoning. I'm gonna toss it all in there. I'll put on a baking sheet, bake till it browns, it comes out, and I just eat this single piece of roasted broccoli. You're telling me that I am not just eating broccoli?

[Mike]

Correct.

[Jason]

That I am eating broccoli in a dip? Essentially, yes.

[Mike]

A fancier dip.

[Andy]

I'm in between.

[Jason]

Yeah, I am too, man. This is.

[Mike]

Although.

[Andy]

Well, you picked it. You picked broccoli.

[Mike]

But also, we have to. Josh just shared with us that he would rather eat a piece of plain steamed broccoli over raw with dressing, which is.

[Andy]

No, no, no, no. Raw broccoli sauce. I mean, it's just.

[Jason]

No, no, no. But he said raw with a dip.

[Andy]

Yeah, but raw with a dip, you still got to chew it for half an hour.

[Jason]

Oh, I love raw with a dip. Are you kidding me?

[Andy]

You're over there. You want to eat raw broccoli?

[Jason]

Raw broccoli and ranch is elite. It is elite.

[Andy]

Yeah. I mean, you take a bite and then you come back in a half hour and you swallow it.

[Jason]

But you got little baby teeth or something. I don't know what to do.

[Andy]

This is the problem with vegetables in general. You have to chew.

[Jason]

You do.

[Mike]

That's the.

[Jason]

We don't.

[Andy]

It is the fiber. I got plant cells you can't break.

[Mike]

I got a full grown man mandible. I handle the broccoli. It's not a problem.

[Jason]

Good for you, Mike.

[Mike]

You got one.

[Jason]

I got one, too.

[Andy]

It's a man, man.

[Mike]

All right.

[Andy]

Donkey kick.

[Jason]

Yeah. Where's our next donkey kick?

[Andy]

We've been waiting for the donkey kick, bro.

[Jason]

We just sit here without donkey kicks all the time.

[Andy]

Next pick.

[Jason]

Jason, next pick.

[Andy]

If you make your pick before the

[Jason]

donkey kick, I'm going fish. I don't. I'm not. I don't love fish, but nothing smells.

[Mike]

You are. You are very lucky. He went specifically canned tuna.

[Jason]

Sure. Yeah, I guess because I would have

[Mike]

just said fish, but yeah, they're. They're different enough when you.

[Jason]

When you. When you make fish. Like when I order fish at a restaurant, sometimes they like. I.

[Mike]

We.

[Jason]

I have been out with you two gentlemen before and wanted fish but not wanted to order it because I don't want to ruin your guys meal.

[Andy]

I get it.

[Jason]

It literally, I've been the other side of that before where the table next to me is ordering salmon or something. I like salmon. But if I'm not in the mood for salmon, if I'm not eating salmon or any of these fish and they come out and they bring that stinky fart plate out, I'm like, oh, gosh. I lose my appetite.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Smells so bad.

[Andy]

Having a hard time with this next one. I already went with blue cheese, so I have a cheese in there. I've got canned tuna. You already got hard boiled eggs, right?

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Andy]

I'm going to go Caesar dressing.

[Jason]

So I know what he's. He does not know what he's drafting.

[Mike]

Excuse me.

[Jason]

He doesn't know what he's drafting. What he's actually drafting is another fish. It's anchovies.

[Andy]

It's anchovies. Anchovies smell, but I get credit for it.

[Jason]

Yeah, that's fine. Caesar dressing is.

[Andy]

That's why I said real Caesar dressing that has anchovies. It does not smell good.

[Jason]

No, it doesn't.

[Andy]

It tastes good.

[Jason]

Yes, it does.

[Andy]

Pungent, though.

[Jason]

It definitely tastes better than it smells.

[Andy]

It's a pungent.

[Mike]

Maybe I'm not run of the mill.

[Andy]

You're a Caesar dressing in a container.

[Mike]

Oh, man.

[Andy]

Not real Caesar.

[Mike]

Caesar dressing is.

[Andy]

You would smell that all day long.

[Mike]

No, I would eat it all day long.

[Jason]

Yeah. That's the point. It tastes better than. A dressing is so good. That's not a bad pick. Anchovies are. Anchovies are pungent.

[Andy]

They're very pungent. So I'll go.

[Mike]

All right.

[Andy]

Caesar dressing.

[Mike]

Okay, so I have two picks.

[Andy]

Yep. You close it out.

[Mike]

So I'm gonna go with a pick that it smells so bad that I can't even eat it. Although I know if you did. Yes.

[Jason]

Yogurt. Oh, I. Yogurt.

[Andy]

Wait, what?

[Mike]

Yogurt is so repulsive. Smell.

[Jason]

Really?

[Mike]

It smells because you don't eat yogurt. Like, if you make a smoothie and it's yogurt based, but you wouldn't have,

[Andy]

like, a container of dannin.

[Jason]

Now. Are you talking all like, yoplait versus Greek?

[Andy]

All of it not plain, but even the flavored one.

[Mike]

It all smells like rotten milk.

[Andy]

Interesting.

[Mike]

Yogurt smells so interesting.

[Andy]

I think yogurt's delicious.

[Jason]

Yogurt is delicious. That's not what he's saying. He's saying it smells interesting.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Did you have a childhood memory problem here? Perhaps?

[Mike]

I'm saying it has gotten to the point for me where it smells so incredibly bad. Some of these things I used to eat yogurt.

[Andy]

I cannot by definition expired, fermenting, old stuff, but they should smell because that's the. That used to be the signal to us to not eat it.

[Mike]

And no, this is not frozen yogurt. Which. How. That's not even. How was that frozen yogurt?

[Jason]

Did Josh say that?

[Mike]

No, no, no, no. This is me saying. I'm saying, like, yogurt.

[Jason]

No.

[Andy]

Donkey kick.

[Jason]

Why are you throwing me under the bus?

[Mike]

I'm saying a donkey kick.

[Andy]

Thank you.

[Jason]

There we go.

[Mike]

There's a reality I'm able to call

[Andy]

that at any time.

[Mike]

I'm saying, like, buying a cup of yogurt versus something that is called frozen yogurt. Like what?

[Andy]

Just a marketing trick, brother.

[Mike]

Where. At what point has this remained?

[Jason]

Yogurt at 0.0.00. They didn't start with yogurt. They didn't finish with yogurt.

[Mike]

All right. And then I'm going to go some froyo.

[Andy]

It's so healthy. It.

[Mike]

Ellie, this is. Maybe this is just a me thing, but, Jason, you. You said it well, of. It smells farty. A bag of beef jerky.

[Jason]

Yeah. Some. Yeah, some brands. When.

[Mike]

When you open up a bag of beef jerky, I get farty. It gets farty in there.

[Jason]

All right, so here's.

[Mike]

It's not a party, so it's farty.

[Jason]

There is. I mean, it's a staple of road trips, of course. Staple. I don't go on a road. I don't like road trips. But if I'm going on a road

[Mike]

trip, I love beef jerky.

[Jason]

You bet your bottom dollar I'm getting beef jerky. I'm getting the specific brand macros.

[Mike]

Get those gains.

[Jason]

That's right. I want lower carbs, even though they all have so much sugar. Don't. Don't lie to yourself. And tons of protein. And I'm going to do that. All of my family likes beef jerky. All five of us. We like beef jerky. Open a bag of beef jerky in the car if we are on a road. If you are not the one eating the beef jerky.

[Mike]

Yes, sir.

[Jason]

You get so angry.

[Mike]

Yes, sir.

[Jason]

Beef jerky is open and it ruins the car. Now, as soon as you take a bite, it's like, oh, yeah, I'm down with this smell. It smells good.

[Mike]

I've never thought of it that way.

[Jason]

But before you get that bite, before you taste the beef jerky and you're just smelling it, you're like, oh, gross. It's true.

[Mike]

That is very strange.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Because then you are totally correct.

[Jason]

It really angers my family. And if I give them a piece, then it just calms them down. They're like, okay, I get it.

[Mike]

That is interesting.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Is it my pick?

[Mike]

Yes.

[Andy]

Soy sauce.

[Mike]

Oh, okay.

[Andy]

Soy sauce. I think soy sauce smells really weird. I like the way it tastes, but it smells really weird and much worse than it tastes it.

[Jason]

So I don't mind the smell, but I do agree that it tastes better than it smells. It's not like a smell where I'm like, oh, is that soy sauce? Dude, bring that over here.

[Mike]

So low sodium or not?

[Jason]

It's not.

[Andy]

All right, Jason, final pick for you

[Mike]

is the low sodium. Just a trick to make us eat more of the regular soy sauce.

[Jason]

So much.

[Mike]

Because the regular soy sauce is so much better.

[Andy]

It is way better. No, it is way better, Jason.

[Mike]

So much better. It really is. You know why? It is salt.

[Andy]

Yeah. This is like when you drink diet soda long enough that it tastes good and then you go back to the regular one. That's how the low sodium soy sauce works.

[Mike]

Yes. Just a ploy to sell more regular.

[Andy]

Like if one is like 800 times the daily allotment of sodium. And the other one is 600 times. It's still lower sodium. That's good.

[Mike]

All right, Jay, you have one more pick. All right.

[Jason]

I've got a couple left that I really like. I thought this was going to be a sparse draft for me, but I have leftovers. But speaking of leftovers.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Jason]

I am taking rotisserie chicken leftovers. I don't know if you. It smells so good.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jason]

It's. It smells objectively rotten. Brand new. I just bought it from the store today. Like the pre cooked rotisserie chicken.

[Mike]

I know what you're talking about.

[Jason]

It smells awful. And for something that tastes so good,

[Mike]

that's meat, fresh and originally smells so delicious.

[Jason]

Yes. If I cook, it's like leftover chicken just smells like it's bad. Even when it's definitely not bad, it's awful. I can't stand it. Ruins rotisserie chicken for me. I don't get it.

[Mike]

Interesting.

[Jason]

Yeah,

[Andy]

I don't have a lot of, like, honorable mentions. I put shrimp on there, but I don't really like shrimp.

[Mike]

Right.

[Andy]

Definitely doesn't smell. I put beer on there because some beer smells really weird.

[Jason]

So to me. So beer is actually one of those food or drinks that people love the smell. And I. I think it smells better than it tastes. But wine. Wine you can smell. I went to a vineyard. This was when I was, like, I don't know, 24. This is a long time ago. I went to a vineyard and got a tour where they ferment, which is meaning where the grapes rot.

[Mike]

Right.

[Jason]

Where all the rotting liquids, it comes back to rotting. And it made me so nauseous. I have never to that to this day, I have never forgotten the smell of fermentation in wine. That is gnarly, disgusting, awful. Never go to a vineyard unless you want to dislike wine. Sure.

[Mike]

I have a corned beef hash.

[Jason]

Oh, totally. Asparagus for sure. But I already have broccoli gruyere cheese.

[Andy]

Yeah. I had aged parmesan on mine, too.

[Jason]

Parmesan for sure. I didn't want.

[Andy]

I want to hit another cheese.

[Jason]

I like parmesan too much to put that on there, but it does not smell as good as it tastes. Yeah. What did we learn today?

[Mike]

Donkey kick. Yeah.

[Andy]

We all learned about the donkey.

[Jason]

I learned that. I learned that a. Oh, wait. Oh. What is happening?

[Mike]

Jeremy, that donkey is the size of five humans.

[Andy]

Three legs, brother.

[Jason]

Screenshot from Red Dead Redemption. Ah.

[Mike]

Oh, okay.

[Jason]

Because there is a problem with that.

[Mike]

The donkey kick is going through the man.

[Jason]

Bad frame rate. Yeah, that's what it is.

[Mike]

Yeah, that I. That's his tail, right?

[Andy]

Let's go off of that.

[Jason]

That's a tail.

[Andy]

I learned Jason thinks don't go to

[Jason]

YouTube.com spitballers there you go.

[Mike]

Unless you want to see a donkey

[Jason]

kicking with its tail, 6.5 can be good. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out spitballerspod.com.

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