Golden Geese & Best Places to Have a Private Party - Spit Hits! - Comedy Podcast

Summary

Spitballers Comedy Podcast Episode Summary

Episode: Golden Geese & Best Places to Have a Private Party - Spit Hits!
Release Date: April 2, 2026
Hosts: Andy, Mike, and Jason

---

Overview

This Spitballers episode swings through signature comedic banter as Andy, Mike, and Jason tackle oddball "Would You Rather" scenarios (including sacrificing months from the calendar and choosing between mythical treasure sources), offer questionable life advice to listeners, and cap it all off with a lively draft of the best places to throw a private party—anywhere on Earth (or even beyond it). The trio’s humor is fast, family-friendly, and full of over-the-top hypotheticals and lighthearted jabs.

---

Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. Star-Spangled Disasters, Public Performances, and Live Event Pressure

Timestamps: 01:37–07:31

• The group laughs over a recent viral national anthem blunder, reliving the horror of messing up in front of a crowd.
• Jason ponders, “What do you stand to gain except for at the end of it you’re like, thank God I made it through?" (03:24)
• They debate the risk/reward of singing the anthem publicly, likening it to throwing an opening pitch at baseball games ("Best case scenario is I just completed it" – Mike, 03:32).

Memorable Moment:
“I just did an Irish jig off the side. But this poor...that poor woman. That makes me feel so bad!” – Andy (02:50)

---

2. Would You Rather: Erasing Months & Other Past/Present Woes

Timestamps: 08:23–15:23

Choosing Which Month to Erase: July or August?

• Arizona-centric debate: July and August are both blisteringly hot, so which would you rather cut?
• “This is our two months of inferno in Arizona. It’s July and August. Just pure—yeah, Mount Doom from Mordor.” – Jason (08:59)
• Weighing childhood summer breaks, national holidays, busy work seasons, and even the “knuckle trick” for counting days in a month.

Notable Quotes:

• “I never learned that [knuckle trick], and I see people do that. To know how many days are in a month.” – Mike (11:52)
• “You don’t need the knuckles, then. I mean, that’s what I’ve been saying. You got Google. You don’t need knuckles.” – Mike (14:11)

---

3. Would You Rather: Scooby-Doo vs. Brian Griffin as Your Family Pet

Timestamps: 15:23–17:40

• Reluctant consensus: Scooby-Doo is chosen over Brian from Family Guy.
• Heated generational takes on old cartoons’ humor.
• “I just didn’t really understand why they [Muppets, Scooby-Doo] were popular.” – Jason (16:15)

---

4. Would You Rather: Pot of Gold at the Rainbow or Golden Goose?

Timestamps: 17:37–22:50

• Deep mathematical breakdown of the “pot of gold vs. golden goose” legend.
• Calculations for the output/value: A pot of gold could net $245 million (Jason’s "advanced research"), while a golden goose laying one gold egg every day adds up more slowly over decades.
• “So we could alter the question to one rainbow, or unlimited eggs. Bird in hand versus bird in the bush?” – Andy (21:57)
• Decision: All three end up picking the one-time, massive windfall of a rainbow’s pot of gold.

---

5. Spitballers Life Advice

Timestamps: 25:17–44:39

a. Neighbor’s Dog Pooping in the Yard

• Listener Denise seeks advice after her neighbor repeatedly lets a dog use her yard as a bathroom.
• Mike suggests syncing sprinklers to the offender’s walk time: “About 8:33 in the morning is when my sprinklers be coming on. You know what I mean? Enjoy.” (27:06)
• Series of escalating, tongue-in-cheek solutions:
  • Installing a dog bag/trash post (“Thank you for the convenient bag.” – Jason, 28:35)
  • Gathering all the poop as a “gift” box at holiday season (31:00)
  • Booby traps (which, as Jason notes, are illegal: "I know, that's illegal." – 32:27)
• More wild suggestions follow, from motion-sensor sprinklers to passive-aggressive yard signs.
• Ultimately, they advise just talking to the neighbor directly.

b. The Music-Off in the Office

• Annoyed listener wants to politely ask a coworker to stop playing music on a Bluetooth speaker.
• Suggestions veer from “sabotage” (replace the speaker with headphones) to establishing “volume dominance” to weirdly effective pranks like pouring water in their bag—referencing a previous real-life viral story.

c. Splitting the Restaurant Bill: What to Do?

• Listener’s friend always wants to split the bill 50/50, but orders way more.
• The crew turns it into a running gag: “Liam, I don’t know if you like lobster, but you do now.” – Andy (41:43)
• Real advice: If uncomfortable, just raise the topic—be transparent about wanting to pay for your own order.

---

6. Spitballers Draft: Best Places to Host a Private Party

Timestamps: 49:11–65:23

Hosts’ Draft Picks: Most Dreamed-Of Party Spots

• Andy:

  1. Disneyland after hours (“How unbelievable.” – Andy, 50:39)
  2. Eiffel Tower’s second floor
  3. The International Space Station (“Space station is gone. Darn it.” – Mike, 57:59)
  4. Area 51 for an “alien party”

• Mike:

  1. White House (“I'm partying at the White House!” – Mike, 51:29)
  2. Lambeau Field (for a kickball/baseball game)
  3. A private luxury yacht (“I can make some pretty clear assumptions based on... photographs of awesome yacht parties.” – Mike, 58:27)
  4. Sistine Chapel (“...some fancy art, be part of history and cut it up.” – Mike, 61:59)

• Jason:

  1. Alcatraz Island (“I gotta take a boat to get to this party. And then it’s all creepy and cool.” – Jason, 52:27)
  2. Museum of Natural History, NYC (night at the museum style)
  3. Ice hotel in Sweden (“...just a cool place to have a party and to feel regal and unique and special.” – Jason, 60:17)
  4. Downton Abbey (the real-life castle from the show)

Other Venues Considered:
Windsor Castle, Buckingham Palace, Roman Coliseum, Mount Everest base camp, Stonehenge.

Memorable Draft Banter:
“If we made the rules about the museum that I can just ride the whale—if I’m having a party at Stonehenge, that means I get to...be all over the hinges.” – Andy (64:53)
“The ocean smells like pee.”—Mike (59:21)

---

Notable Quotes & Moments

• “Hot iron action. No, there’s no way it’s illegal to booby trap your yard!” (Mike, 32:46)
• “If you just talk to someone doing something wrong, it’s probably the easiest way.” (Mike, 65:27)
• “It really hinges on how you spell it.” – Andy (65:15)

---

Takeaways and Closing

The episode blends quippy, high-energy hypotheticals with distinctly average life advice wrapped in good-natured suburban dad humor. Whether they’re breaking down the ethics of golden geese, getting heated over calendar months, or plotting revenge against inconsiderate dog owners, Andy, Mike, and Jason keep it fast and funny, rarely pausing between laughs and deadpan observations.

If you missed it:
Expect running gags, tangential wisdom, wild party fantasy drafts, and relatable takes on everyday annoyances—packaged in Spitballers’ family-appropriate style.

---

For More: spitballerspod.com

Transcript

[Commercial Announcer]

With Target, filling every basket with Easter magic has never been easier. That means fun and festive finds starting at just $3. From tasty favorite day treats to the softest Gigglescape plush toys, we've got everything you need to make their day, so find all the Easter basket goodies they'll love at Target.

[Mike]

Aruba loves you. Seriously, like, the entire island. You don't believe me? Then visit it and you'll see. The beaches will soothe you with warming love. The water will heal you with cleansing love. The food will fill you with delicious, delicious food love. And the people, well, they offer the warmest love of all. That's a lot of love. Hope you like feeling incredible basically the entire time you're there. Just be sure to return the favor. So go ahead and meet Aruba, and then love Aruba. Plan your trip [e-mail]. What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason

[Andy]

Blibbity. Blop, blop, blop.

[Commercial Announcer]

Come on.

[Mike]

Oh. Oh, my God.

[Andy]

Whoops and doozles, everybody.

[Jason]

He hit a wall.

[Mike]

Oh, that makes me so happy.

[Jason]

He's not impervious.

[Mike]

Oh, wait, I missed. Oh, nope.

[Andy]

Did you.

[Jason]

Did you guys see the most recent failure of the Star Spangled Banner?

[Andy]

No.

[Jason]

Did you catch this?

[Andy]

We had another one. We had a disaster of that proportion. Did they just stop?

[Jason]

Oh. Oh, yeah. She messed up a note in the middle of it, and then she used some language into the mic. Yeah. Oh, she goes, oh, I messed it up. Oh, oh, oh, no. And then she resumes. Then she gets to another part that she starts to mess up.

[Andy]

Oh, no. Oh, no.

[Jason]

I'm so nervous. Oh, no.

[Mike]

Oh.

[Jason]

And then she collapsed, and then she finished it. So I don't know if later on. Yeah, she asked if she can restart, but it was. You can hear them going, it's live. And then she just keeps going.

[Mike]

Outside of pissing your pants in that moment, I don't know that you can do much worse. That's like my. You know, my kids do theater. I did theater growing up. There's always the thing of, like, if you forget your line or whatever, you just got to kind of go on. What happened with your scat was the equivalent of, like, I don't remember my line. And you run off stage. You're like, no.

[Andy]

Nope, I would. Ashley Simpson did the. Oh, yeah, I did. I just did an Irish jig off the side. But this poor. That poor woman that makes me feel so bad. But also like what I'm trying to think. How do you phrase the question as a musician, right. I know that there's a little like you can get like, hey, I'm singing the anthem to open the Super Bowl. Okay, that one I get. There's so many eyes on you. That's massive publicity. But like for.

[Jason]

Oh, you're saying upside. What's the upside?

[Mike]

What?

[Andy]

Yeah, what is. What do you stand to gain except for at the done. The like at the end of it you're like, thank God I made it through and that is done.

[Mike]

Oh no, there's some. I mean that is. That's an all time achievement award. That's like what do you stand to gain at throwing out a ball at the beginning of a baseball game? You can mess up. You can go out there and you throw out the first pitch. It's like I can screw up. The best case scenario is I just completed. But the thing is, is I say I got to throw out the first pitch.

[Jason]

Yeah, but you know what? You wouldn't do that at. You wouldn't like turn your life upside down to go throw the first pitch out at a single. A baseball game. You do it at an MLB game.

[Mike]

Of course. I'm way too big for.

[Andy]

Come on.

[Jason]

This is what. But like this singer was like some C span political event that she's the one singing for. I'm just saying do you love. Do you get to trade in like can you trade in five small performances for one medium performance and can you do five mediums to get to a ball game and five ball games for the super bowl or what? How's that work?

[Andy]

It's an incredibly. If you don't sing, it's a hard song to sing. It's an incredibly difficult song. And having an acapella scared out of your mind and you're in a. I mean you might be in an uncontrolled environment for what. How are you hearing yourself? Things can go wrong. They're saying there's. There is very little to gain.

[Jason]

And if you're at a ball game, the speakers are always delayed.

[Andy]

Delayed like getting the slap back of the sound.

[Jason]

So you've got to nail it with like a monitor. Right? I mean.

[Andy]

Oh yeah, I assume most of them have in ears. But just overall like oh no, I messed up like the downs.

[Mike]

It's.

[Andy]

I guess there's some upside, but I just, I'm weighing everything is risk, reward. The risk of something going really wrong is so much Higher than something going, right? And then a good benefit to your Life.

[Jason]

You can 4D chest the thing and mess it up on purpose and get

[Andy]

this kind of just get the publicity.

[Mike]

Oh, yeah. Catapult yourself to whatever kind of fame you can get. Grasp. But I've always wondered this. It's been a genuine question, like, if all the people, the halftime performer or the national anthem singer, they. They got to get free tickets to the event, right? They're not just like, okay, you come in through the back door and then you leave and you don't get to watch.

[Jason]

You think they do it for the ticket.

[Mike]

But I'm wondering what that ticket is, because could you imagine if it's like, super nosebleed, and you go down, you

[Jason]

see the national anthem, hers became nosebleed.

[Mike]

You sing the national anthem, it's based

[Andy]

off of how good you do.

[Mike]

You're up. You're up. There in the city, they've got. We've got 12 seats from top to

[Jason]

bottom, and you got 12 notes you got to hit.

[Andy]

So.

[Mike]

But. But I feel like if I was in the cheap seats, the top row of the upper deck and whatever, and I'm at. I'm at this game or whatnot. And then about five minutes after the game starts, you know, he comes walking up the. The person who sang the national anthem and comes and sits next to me, I'd be like, oh, man, they did you dirty.

[Andy]

Like, hey, you did really good.

[Mike]

Oh, that would be.

[Jason]

I think the national anthem singing, that must just be like, one of the benchmarks of being a singer. Like, if you have the opportunity to do that, you do it because you're a singer for sure.

[Mike]

Like, I know my kids would love to sing the national anthem at a ball game, any kind of. They don't like baseball because they're smart, and they would.

[Jason]

When we had that, it was the COVID year, but we were actually supposed to throw out the first pitch. At a Diamondback season, we were, the three of us, we were scheduled, and it was on the calendar. And then Covid hit and, you know, our chance for publicity went out the door. But I thought many times, like, what can I say? What can the three of us do to get on Sports Center? That's what my thought process was. It wasn't, can we throw three strikes? It was, what can I do to get on SportsCenter? What could we. What could we come up with throwing

[Andy]

out the first pitch? I mean, we would have to do, like, a full three students.

[Jason]

Use the worst.

[Mike]

I'd swap the Ball for a tomato. You know what I mean? I get that ball, I wind up Reaching that pocket.

[Jason]

1931.

[Mike]

Reaching that pocket. Get a. Okay. An onion. I don't know.

[Andy]

What do you want? Wait, it's better.

[Mike]

Tomatoes are old. In class.

[Andy]

It's a modern vegetable.

[Jason]

Was an old school thing in my head.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Jason]

All right, moving forward.

[Andy]

What is that? A tomato.

[Mike]

Would you rather I just.

[Jason]

I see people throwing tomatoes at like street performers in medieval times.

[Andy]

Yeah, that's what I was thinking. The dude is in the. I don't know what.

[Jason]

The marionette or.

[Mike]

I was talking about the.

[Andy]

Your head and your hands are through the wood stocks.

[Mike]

Stocks. Yeah. You remember those? Yeah.

[Andy]

You're getting.

[Jason]

But we turn to the Josh for the middle.

[Andy]

I feel like Josh is my random trivia guy.

[Jason]

Yeah, that's fair.

[Mike]

I don't know how I feel when I think of, you know, tomatoes being thrown. I only think of Fozzie. Is that his name?

[Jason]

Did he throw out tomatoes?

[Mike]

That's not medieval times.

[Andy]

He is more like a banana. Banana cream pie.

[Mike]

No, he's tomatoes. It's like always tomatoes.

[Andy]

Okay.

[Jason]

He got that from the Middle Ages. All right. Would you rather Cedric from Patreon, the local wizard, just shortened Earth.

[Andy]

Oh, he's back.

[Jason]

Shortened Earth's years by one month. So it's an 11 month year. Which month would you rather get rid of? July or August?

[Andy]

Oh, so we.

[Jason]

Okay, that's weird.

[Mike]

It's weird because you're naming two very similar months.

[Jason]

Yeah. Why isn't this just. Which month would you get rid of?

[Mike]

Or even if it's like totally different seasons where it's like, do you want to get rid of November?

[Andy]

Cut a month of the season?

[Mike]

Or, you know, June. And it's like, oh, yeah, the hotter the cold. This is like you want.

[Jason]

This is our two months of inferno in Arizona. It's July and August. Just pure. Yeah. Mount Doom from corridor.

[Mike]

Can we just combine them? Can we say both?

[Andy]

That'd be great.

[Mike]

Yes, please, is the answer.

[Jason]

I will say this for children. Those are the two months, month and a half that they have off from school.

[Sponsor Voice]

And they'd keep July.

[Jason]

So they would keep July and they'd get rid of August. July also has a national holiday. August has none.

[Mike]

August for us. And you know, this question is posed to us. The wizard isn't asking anyone there. You know, he's asking us three gentlemen and man, August is a busy month for us. We go to five shows a week on the main footballers cut out of work a little early that. Oh, man, That's a hard month.

[Jason]

The paychecks are going to be the same without August.

[Mike]

That's a good point.

[Andy]

That's a good point.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Andy]

I mean, weather wise, July is out for me.

[Jason]

That's. You would get rid of July.

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah, July.

[Jason]

I feel like August is always worse.

[Mike]

I think they're identical. I could not tell you which month.

[Andy]

I think July is. Is hotter. Slightly hotter. I mean we just had that run of.

[Jason]

I was going to say August is where you set the record. You started in July.

[Andy]

Yeah, but the. It's hotter in July to me and then. But we still get our. A bit of the monsoon weather. So it's. It's humid and muggy in the desert, but it's also 110 degrees.

[Jason]

But it never actually rains.

[Andy]

It never actually rains.

[Mike]

I think the thing is, is by August you're just even more sick of it. So you're just feeling the mental burden of non stop heat in a place where human beings shouldn't be.

[Jason]

July is technically one degree hotter, one degree hotter than August, historically. But again, we're saying.

[Mike]

I thought you were saying August was worse.

[Andy]

No, no, no.

[Jason]

He was saying July.

[Andy]

I'm just out.

[Jason]

This is rather myopic. I mean, we're in Arizona. If you could just objectively. Let's go. For other reasons other than temperature for a moment. Let's examine 12 months of the year. One of them's got to go. Are there other pragmatic reasons? Like obviously if you ditch December, it'd be less expensive.

[Andy]

You know what, it was a 30. 30 day, right?

[Mike]

Dude, I don't know.

[Andy]

I gotta do that. I didn't want to do the knuckles.

[Mike]

Wait, hold on, hold on. April, June and knuckle trick where you count your knuckles. I know that that exists.

[Andy]

April, May, June, July. You got a. Oh, wait, no, you

[Jason]

got a knuckle to knuckle.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Jason]

August. It's August 31st.

[Andy]

They both have 31st.

[Mike]

Okay, so I wanted to ask. There's six of us in this room, three deucers, three, you know, real men here. How many of us know how to do the knuckle trick to count how many days? Okay, so Mike and Andy both say they know how. Even though you just, you just gave an example of it seemed like you had no idea what you were.

[Andy]

No, no, no.

[Jason]

He said you got enough.

[Andy]

He was saying double and. But the way I do it is one hand and I double count or as in like I go one direction and then I start from the edge and go back. Okay, so we're doing the same thing.

[Jason]

What's the point of your inquiry?

[Mike]

I just was curious because I never learned that, and I see people do that. To know how many days are in a month.

[Jason]

It's not complicated. Put your fist together.

[Andy]

You're done.

[Jason]

You're done.

[Mike]

You did that. Done. I don't know what to count.

[Jason]

You just count the knuckles.

[Mike]

One, two, three. No, I see eight knuckles.

[Jason]

Start with the beginning of the year on the. The higher knuckle means 31 days.

[Mike]

Okay, so January will be 31.

[Jason]

And then that lower means it's not. It's either 30 or in Febr. Okay, so it's the lower.

[Mike]

But I've still got to know how many days are in that month. No, you in February, because it's not

[Jason]

that you can learn things.

[Mike]

That's the one. This is not easy, gentlemen.

[Jason]

Everything else is 30 or 31.

[Andy]

Sure it is.

[Mike]

I give up at 2.

[Andy]

Well, sometimes 25. You had 40.

[Jason]

How old are you? 50. You had 40 something years to learn how many days in February?

[Mike]

I don't need any because I just go, hey, Siri, how many days?

[Jason]

Oh, my gosh.

[Mike]

I mean, why do you need to.

[Andy]

You didn't have Siri 15 years ago.

[Mike]

You need to know how many days 15 years.

[Jason]

Know anything? Because we can find the information.

[Mike]

No, that's legit. I know. Yes, it is fully legit.

[Jason]

You could have found stuff when you were a kid with the encyclopedia, but that would have taken work.

[Mike]

Andy, how well do you know your multiplication facts right now?

[Jason]

Perfectly. Very well. Perfect.

[Andy]

Perfectly.

[Mike]

Okay. 8 times 6? 48, that's correct. 7 times 3? No, that's easy.

[Jason]

21.

[Mike]

Okay. I'm trying to give you.

[Andy]

Stop swinging up to 12. I'm pretty good.

[Mike]

But are you saying that it's important in today's day and age that you know your multiplication?

[Jason]

It's helpful. Yeah. It's kind of like if you have little bits of information all over the place, it creates a web of what we call intelligence. Tell me more. And knowing things and being intelligent does aid you at times. Stay in school, kids. But use Siri if you. If you need to. All right, whatever. Is there another reason to get rid of another month?

[Andy]

I have those two. I have no other idea I'd get rid of.

[Jason]

If you want one, get rid of February. Then you know that every month is

[Andy]

at least 30 or 31.

[Jason]

Maybe that'll straighten it out for you.

[Mike]

I'll do that. But it's so nice.

[Andy]

Can we borrow a day? Can February like.

[Jason]

Oh, can we?

[Andy]

Why Are we. Why are some 30 and 31.

[Jason]

Keep the double knuckles in the middle. Make July and August just 30 each, and then February becomes 30.

[Mike]

But then the knuckles don't work.

[Jason]

No, you don't need the knuckles, then.

[Mike]

I mean, that's what I've been saying. You got Google. You don't need a knuckles.

[Jason]

Where am I and what time is it?

[Sponsor Voice]

If we.

[Andy]

If we actually do some averaging out, can you. Can you work it up so that it's like we get February up to 30 and then a couple. And then the three months in the summer have 31 or something? You can mathematically work. Does anybody know?

[Jason]

Nobody knows who made the months, so

[Andy]

we're allowed to petition. That was the Mayans the least popular

[Jason]

month for tourism in the entire year. Do you want to know what that is?

[Andy]

Is this in the United States?

[Jason]

This is in the United States, the least popular month for activities.

[Andy]

Okay.

[Jason]

Do you know the month?

[Mike]

Can I guess?

[Jason]

That is the inquiry.

[Mike]

Yeah, I would say September.

[Jason]

Okay, Mike, do you want to take your shot?

[Andy]

That's a really good guess.

[Mike]

Thanks, man.

[Andy]

January.

[Jason]

It is January because people start cold weather. Yeah. It's all new budgets.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And then just.

[Jason]

People just spend money.

[Mike]

Yeah, they just did all the.

[Andy]

And they're in the gym.

[Mike]

Christmas travels. Oh, that's true. They can't leave. They've got a new routine they're going to stick with this year.

[Jason]

All right, next question. Amanda from Twitter, would you rather have Scooby Doo or Brian Griffin as your family? Peter,

[Andy]

that Brian Griffin's the dog from family.

[Mike]

That is easy.

[Jason]

I mean the talking one. Oh, they both talk.

[Andy]

One of them. One of them is annoying. Well, which one's annoying?

[Mike]

That one. Oh, okay. I mean, Scooby Doo. I don't understand how that cartoon was ever popular or enjoyable. The whole thing is. I mean, it might as well be olden days. Dora the Explorer. It's just so. The characters are annoying. It's just not. It's not a pleasurable cartoon.

[Andy]

Shaggy. Zoinks.

[Mike]

Yeah, exactly. He's just annoying to me. Those two. They're supposed to be lovable and funny.

[Andy]

Yeah, they are.

[Mike]

They're not funny. They're just not funny. They're just in the.

[Jason]

There are a handful of shows as a kid that were popular that I just didn't really understand why they were.

[Andy]

Because one of them.

[Jason]

The Muppets are another one.

[Andy]

Well, Scooby Doo was. We were. I think we were too old for Scooby Doo. Like, when did that actually stop? The original Scooby Doo.

[Jason]

So, like, Josh must have been into it.

[Andy]

Yeah, for sure.

[Jason]

Josh, did you like Scooby Doo?

[Mike]

It was okay.

[Andy]

Yeah, but I'm saying that's his way

[Mike]

of saying, dude, I watch that every day.

[Andy]

I think Scooby Doo reruns were going on while our new cartoons. They were showing it to us. But if. For. In terms of it wasn't funny because that show was old, it might have been funny. Humor changes. So there may be. It may have been a time that Scooby Doo was funny to kids.

[Mike]

That's fair. That's fair.

[Andy]

But then we.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Andy]

You know what happened? Ninja Turtles and Transformers showed up, and we're like, scooby Doo, this dude sucks.

[Mike]

Things got funnier. And then old funny was like, well, that's lame.

[Andy]

And it's old. I mean, stuff for kids has to age rapidly. Yeah.

[Jason]

Okay. Well, I. You know, I didn't really connect with either of these, so I guess I'll just take Scooby Doo because I feel like he solves problems, and I don't think Brian Griffin does that.

[Andy]

Brian Griffin, Genius. Yeah, he's. He could probably be. Make you feel real bad about yourself. Yeah, yeah.

[Jason]

Just a little. Little Scooby. Little.

[Andy]

Like a fake sophistication.

[Mike]

I'll take Scooby out back behind the shed.

[Jason]

All right.

[Andy]

Oh, come on.

[Jason]

All right.

[Andy]

I'll keep it. Scooby.

[Jason]

Eli from the website. Jason, would you rather be able to collect the pot of gold at the end of any rainbow you see or have a goose that lays golden eggs?

[Mike]

Oh, that is an easy goose.

[Jason]

How many eggs does a goose lay per year?

[Mike]

I would guess.

[Jason]

And how big is a pot?

[Andy]

Yeah, the pot of gold. That's a great question.

[Jason]

It's not. You know, it takes time to drive to a place that's going to convert gold into money. So I'm going to. If I have a goose dropping it, I can't spin the egg at the store. So I got to take the eggs to a gold conversion place. Right. That turns them into money.

[Mike]

You want to know where the end of the rainbow is? Not on the roads. It doesn't just end.

[Andy]

You're going on an adventure.

[Mike]

You've got to find it. And it's way over there.

[Jason]

And, I mean.

[Mike]

And honestly, I don't think you can ever get there. I think that's the point. Like, the way that the light works

[Jason]

in this one, you can. Yes, Jason, you can't get to the bottom of a rainbow and look up and see the rest of the.

[Andy]

That is 100%. The point is, you can never actually get to the edge of a rainbow because it's just perspective where you're standing here.

[Jason]

I'm gonna throw this out there, Jake, because again, knowledge. I'm not sure that geese can lay golden eggs.

[Andy]

So that's also.

[Jason]

We're gonna pretend both of them are true for the question.

[Mike]

They do lay eggs. Here's the thing. Let's say now I've got to invest in some off road vehicle.

[Andy]

Right.

[Mike]

I've got to buy something.

[Andy]

Yeah. You got money in before you can get money out.

[Mike]

Exactly. But then that's a pot. But that's the pot I get there. Right. And there's this giant pot of gold.

[Andy]

But what is.

[Mike]

How am I loading that up? How am I lifting that into my vehicle?

[Jason]

Buy the right vehicle. Yeah.

[Mike]

What is it? Bring a trailer. But you gotta pick it off the ground. You ever lifted a pot full of gold? Okay.

[Jason]

Hire a guy. You got a pot of gold, man,

[Andy]

you're gonna need a trailer. And you're gonna have to get a bobcat.

[Mike]

Yeah. You're gonna have to jack the thing up. But it's so much investment to get started.

[Andy]

But I'm saying, we always say it's a pot of gold. But then the legend, at least for us dumb Americans, oh, it's a leprechaun. Well, is it a pot of gold sized for a leprechaun? Because that would be a gold coin.

[Mike]

Well, but you could pick it up.

[Andy]

Yeah. That would not be a problem. I was putting that thing in my pocket. That doesn't have value.

[Jason]

From what I understand from my very advanced research I just did, if you assume that at the end of the rainbow, there is a large cauldron, that pot. Right. It looks like a cauldron. A pot. According to my sources, they think that would hold about 8,000 pounds of gold.

[Mike]

Good luck.

[Andy]

Yeah. How are you getting that on?

[Jason]

So listen, the practical of getting that, that would be worth. I'm getting the current price of gold right now. Canadian geese, $245 million of gold. Does that change your little.

[Mike]

Ooh.

[Jason]

I've got a little bit of an issue getting it to sell it.

[Mike]

Canadian geese lay one egg every one

[Andy]

to two days during laying season is what I'm seeing. So it says geese lay around 20 to 50 eggs per season.

[Mike]

Chinese geese can lay up to 90 to 100 eggs.

[Andy]

Okay.

[Mike]

Per year.

[Andy]

Okay.

[Jason]

You ain't getting no Chinese goose, man.

[Mike]

I'm getting a golden goose. It's got to be better.

[Andy]

I think I'm sweeping With the golden egg.

[Jason]

I'm looking. I'm looking into it right now.

[Andy]

Okay.

[Jason]

Unfortunately, I got the actual cost of a goose egg, which is three to ten dollars.

[Andy]

Hold on.

[Jason]

How much is a goose?

[Andy]

Or how big?

[Jason]

I've got the density of it all.

[Mike]

We got to go volume, weight. It's a value.

[Jason]

Here we go. A goose egg is worth about $133,000.

[Mike]

Just a goose egg. That's a crop.

[Andy]

I got to get a goose.

[Mike]

Got to get some geese, man. Dude, now I know how people smell.

[Jason]

I just told you. Those are three to ten dollars. This is $133,000 for a golden goose egg or $245 million. I only have to do the work. What. How many rainbows we getting per year? What's the rainbow per year in Arizona? 1.

[Andy]

I think you only get one rainbow.

[Jason]

Al, will you help us?

[Andy]

I thought in this question, the question

[Mike]

says every rainbow you see, but the math would.

[Jason]

I would say we could alter the

[Mike]

question to one rainbow.

[Andy]

One rainbow or unlimited eggs? Bird in hand versus bird in the bush?

[Jason]

Okay, so then you've got to take these eggs. You got daily work, or you got work One time?

[Mike]

I got daily excitement, man.

[Jason]

Is he going to lay one? Yep.

[Andy]

Do you think.

[Mike]

Yeah, no. I'd be opening that. That little egg crate, and I go, okay.

[Jason]

All right. It would take 1831 golden goose eggs to equal the weight of the gold in the large cauldron.

[Mike]

Okay, so, like, What. What's that, three or four years?

[Jason]

1,000. How many do they weigh?

[Andy]

We'll just say 50 or.

[Jason]

I mean, how many do they lay per year?

[Mike]

That's 50 eggs per year.

[Andy]

Yeah. Let's go 50 eggs.

[Jason]

Okay.

[Andy]

This is why you learn how to

[Jason]

do that 36.62 years. Years. Or as you said, a couple.

[Andy]

Couple years. Just a couple. Here. There. Thanks, Siri. I'm gonna go with the rainbow.

[Mike]

I'll take the rainbow.

[Jason]

I'm going rainbow. All right, we'll take a break. We'll get into some life advice.

[Mike]

Spring is the season for closet cleanouts. It's the perfect time to narrow down your wardrobe to pieces that are well made and easy to wear all the time. That's where Quince comes in. With Quince, you get fabrics that feel elevated, fits that are well thought out, and pricing that actually makes sense. Quince works directly with ethical factories and cuts out the middleman. So you're paying for quality, not brand markup. Everything is designed to last, and it makes getting dressed easy. Almost all of my shorts I've got the built in liners, the comfy shorts that I can wear regular day, like just going around. I can play sports in them. They're athletic wear. They are some of the best shorts out there. You can refresh your entire wardrobe with quince. Go to quince.com spitballers for free shipping and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Quince Q U I N C E.com Queen/spitballers for free shipping and 365 Day Returns. Quints.com spitballers Today's show is brought to

[Sponsor Voice]

you by our friends at indeed. We know here that hiring someone for a job, it's not just about filling a role. You got to find someone with the right background, the experience.

[Mike]

It's.

[Sponsor Voice]

It's a difficult thing to do. And that's what Indeed is here to help you do get the right person for that job. Indeed. Sponsor jobs help you match with candidates who can move your business forward. Target candidates by skills, certifications or location. Join the 3.3 million employers worldwide that use Indeed to connect with quality talent that fits their needs. Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes. Less stress, less time, more results. Now with Indeed sponsored jobs and listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit to help get your job the premium status it deserves@ Indeed.com podcast terms and conditions apply. Hiring do it the right way with Indeed.

[Mike]

Spitballers to the rescue.

[Jason]

I was searching for the button. I was looking. I was looking for the button. I found it because we're getting serious. So I don't want to, you know,

[Andy]

when we give not hit the button.

[Jason]

When we give life advice, we want to really take this show down a notch. This ain't saying about golden geese. This ain't about rainbows.

[Mike]

It was about helping people.

[Jason]

It's about helping people with everyday situations that are serious. And I think this is a good time that we do that.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Jason]

So just stop laughing.

[Mike]

We appreciate you writing in and sharing whatever difficulty you're going through. We are here for you.

[Jason]

And that's why we'll turn to Denise.

[Mike]

All right. Denise. What?

[Jason]

Because it's probably hard for her to write in.

[Mike]

Let me thank you for your bravery, Denise.

[Jason]

My husband and I have been noticing frequent dog poop in our front yard.

[Mike]

Very serious front yard.

[Jason]

Every time we remove it, another dump shows up.

[Mike]

It's good that it's dog poop, though.

[Jason]

Now we don't have a dog. Denise doesn't have a dog. So we installed a ring cam to see where it's coming from. Turns out it is our next door neighbor.

[Andy]

Their dog.

[Jason]

Their dog.

[Mike]

We're going to assume their dog because it said it's dog poop.

[Jason]

Every morning she walks out of her house right over to our grassroots, the dog where her dog poops and pee.

[Andy]

Okay.

[Mike]

Otherwise that ring video is a problem.

[Jason]

They then continue on their morning walk. What is the best way to approach this? The neighborhood has a poop habit with their own pet.

[Mike]

Oh, this is. I feel like there's an easy first step. I mean, I don't know that it will solve your problem. Is anyone that is doing a daily dog walk in the morning, you know that. That is at a time right? There is. There is a. You know, they wake up at six, they have their coffee.

[Andy]

It's usually on a schedule.

[Mike]

It's 6:30 is when they walk the dog. So I would look back day after day after day and say, oh, they get there around 8:32 in the morning. So about 8:33 in the morning is when my sprinklers be coming on. You know what I mean? Enjoy.

[Jason]

You want to wet the poop, dude?

[Andy]

I want before they get there.

[Mike]

Oh, that's maybe harder.

[Jason]

He did it a minute after for some reason.

[Mike]

I wanted to do poop. I wanted to. I wanted to have the lady and the dog get soaked.

[Andy]

Well, but is the lady going in the grass?

[Jason]

Motion sensor sprinklers.

[Andy]

Okay, all right. That's a better idea.

[Mike]

Motion floodlights. Would that be enough? I guess not. If it's bright outside, wouldn't do much. But if it's still early in the morning, you know, trying to sneak that

[Jason]

poo, you're in rare form today, Jay. Listen, this is. This is not okay. That.

[Andy]

No, it's not okay for you.

[Jason]

If the neighbors bring a bag, does poop in the yard, pick it up yourself. Don't leave the poop for your. For the owner of the yard to have to clean up.

[Mike]

Could you install. You know, you go to, like, the little community field, there's always that, like, post with.

[Andy]

Oh, right there with the dog disposal.

[Mike]

It's got the little bags and the little trash can. You just install it.

[Jason]

You can, but you're basically saying, please poop here.

[Mike]

I think if my dog was constantly doing that. And then the next day I walk and I see that, I'd be like, thank you.

[Andy]

Oh, I would.

[Jason]

Thanks for the convenient bag.

[Mike]

I'd start, they don't want the bag. Obviously they want to leave it.

[Jason]

Maybe they did. Maybe they can't afford it.

[Mike]

Maybe they think they're doing something nice. Maybe they're like the fertilizer. This helps the yard.

[Jason]

If you don't clean the poop up, how many piles? Like, how big will the pile get? Because if the dog always poops there, will there be, like, two, three, four, like, multiple piles and the neighbor will never clean it up?

[Mike]

No, this neighbor is not a kind neighbor.

[Jason]

So then you poop in their yard.

[Andy]

Alternatively, the petty thing to do is. Is every. You get yourself a good sized box. Yep. You put every one of these dog poops in the box, and then holiday season rolls around, you wrap that thing up.

[Mike]

Ding dong.

[Jason]

See, I started out agreeing. This is not the direction I was.

[Andy]

I said it was petty. But you just ring the doorbell, you leave that box there.

[Mike]

A lot of problem for yourself, though. You're hoarding poop for a season.

[Jason]

No, don't hoard. Just use an instrument every day. Scoop it up with the little shovel, walk it five feet over, and turn it over.

[Mike]

Well, but it might not be the next door neighbor. It might be a neighbor from down the street. You know what I mean? Like, oh, I don't want to walk down the street.

[Jason]

Then I'm tracking this person to find their house.

[Mike]

Can you put little, like, mouse traps throughout the yard?

[Jason]

Oh, that's cruel.

[Andy]

It's not the dog.

[Mike]

It's my yard, bro.

[Andy]

But it's not the dog's fault. It's the human.

[Jason]

Yeah, it is the human.

[Andy]

The dog's just doing dog business.

[Jason]

Isn't there stuff you can spray on the yard to, like, make the dog not want to be there?

[Mike]

Yeah, but that doesn't work.

[Jason]

In my experience, rat poison works.

[Mike]

Okay. Yeah, but I thought this wasn't the dog. I thought this wasn't the dog's fault.

[Jason]

That's what Mike says.

[Mike]

I just want. I want a way to, like, punish the dog's owner.

[Andy]

Yes.

[Mike]

And I. I like the sprinklers.

[Jason]

I think if you just got a. Make sure you're not just watering the poop after.

[Mike]

So if you're gone, if you sprinkle before they come and you soak the yard, I don't think that the dog owner will want the dog to go in there.

[Jason]

There's no way, though, that the. That this dog is pooping at the same time every day on the exact moment.

[Andy]

It would be pretty close, though.

[Jason]

I mean, you're talking what, 15, 20 minute?

[Andy]

Yeah. So back to my idea of the box.

[Jason]

Okay.

[Andy]

Because they're gonna bring it in the house. And they're gonna open it.

[Mike]

Oh, you're wrapping it?

[Andy]

Yes.

[Jason]

I'm sorry. I didn't understand that.

[Andy]

Holiday season rolls around, I wrapped this thing up nice, like a big present, and they get, oh, Secret Santa showed up. They're gonna bring it in, they're gonna open it.

[Mike]

It's gonna be poop. I don't know if you've ever had a bag of poop in your life, Mike. If you've cleaned up poop from your yard and you fill a bag and you gotta take that out, just walking that bag to the dumpster is barely doable. If you're telling me that I'm gonna sit with a box right in front of my lap and I'm gonna. You know how long it takes me to wrap a package. And I'm go that stinky box up. Not happening.

[Andy]

You got to put the work in if you want to get them back.

[Mike]

I'm finding a whole new way to get them back. I'm putting something over the fence that has nothing to do with dogs.

[Andy]

Or what if you burn their house down? That's real easy.

[Jason]

Imagine letting my dog poop in someone's yard.

[Andy]

No, that's horrific humanity.

[Jason]

Those people.

[Andy]

Horrific.

[Jason]

Shouldn't be around.

[Mike]

What if you just put a sign in your yard for a week? You just nail a little sign. It says, no dog poops allowed from bad neighbors.

[Andy]

What if they think they're a good neighbor?

[Jason]

Yeah, they definitely do.

[Mike]

They're gonna bypass a sign.

[Andy]

But if it says bad neighbors.

[Mike]

So you just gotta say, no dog poops allowed.

[Andy]

Or any poops you could broaden. No poops.

[Jason]

There's gotta be some way that we can collect all the bad people in all the neighborhoods and make them all live in one neighborhood together.

[Andy]

They can all poop in each other's yards.

[Jason]

I mean, imagine the worst person in every neighborhood all living together in a new neighborhood and filming it for television. I think we're on different.

[Andy]

I'm trying to find out if there's legal recourse.

[Jason]

Well, you're not allowed to set booby traps. I know. That's illegal.

[Mike]

Really?

[Jason]

Yes.

[Mike]

Even on your own property? No, that's not illegal.

[Jason]

I think it is.

[Mike]

What if they're funny?

[Jason]

Papa Josh says yes because he's probably thought about it.

[Mike]

Wait, what? Like Home Alone style booby traps? You can't booby trap your property at all. Yes, you can.

[Jason]

I mean, Home alone. Well, like a paint can flying down and hitting him in the face.

[Mike]

Exactly. A little hot iron action. No, there's no Way it's illegal to booby trust your arm.

[Jason]

I mean, you've seen this with political signs. Have you seen this? I mean.

[Mike]

Oh, yeah. Where they, like electric. They electrify the political signs because people are stealing from the yard.

[Jason]

I saw one that was even more advanced. This person was on a main road and they had a sign that was within. Like a car could easily turn to the right, run it over and then go back and they put strips to pop the tires and people would go to run over this political sign.

[Mike]

Good for them.

[Jason]

And then the person would end up popping their tire as they run over the sign.

[Mike]

It should not be illegal. You want to drive through my yard, you should have tires.

[Jason]

I'm on your side. I think to some degree you should not be able to go in again.

[Andy]

Someone left a broken bottle there. What am I going to do about it?

[Jason]

I'm thinking you've got.

[Mike]

Doing so is illegal under US law. Come on, man. Yeah.

[Andy]

I thought this was America.

[Mike]

I thought this was America. Good goof.

[Andy]

Land of the free. Can't booby trap my own yard.

[Jason]

I think the rule is you're only allowed to defend with reasonable and justified levels of force.

[Andy]

Yeah. Hot iron.

[Mike]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. A painting is reasonable. I'm not putting a shotgun. I'm not putting a shotgun. Like you open the door, you get blasted in the chest.

[Jason]

That is what the court case was real. Yeah.

[Mike]

Well, yeah, that makes sense. That's called murder. That should be supes. Illegal.

[Andy]

We're just talking about facial reconstruction surgery.

[Mike]

Yeah. We're talking about. You reach for that doorknob, it's on fire.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Ironically, in that court case, the court noted that it would have been justified to shoot the person with the shotgun had the person been home at the time of the intrusion. What? But rigging up the booby trap is illegal. Ok, I'm back to unhappy with that ruling. That's fair.

[Jason]

Because it's not a danger to you if you're not there.

[Mike]

Oh, my gosh. So what if you're. What if you're.

[Jason]

So shotgun is coming into the picture.

[Mike]

What if you're on a ring doorbell system and your alarm system and you've got a booby trap set up but you see the intruder? Now I'm like, I'm taking part in this.

[Jason]

Are you in danger?

[Andy]

Nope.

[Mike]

My stuff is. I don't know, man.

[Andy]

Mr. TV is in great danger right now.

[Mike]

Yes. What if I'm on the tv? You know what I mean?

[Andy]

Right.

[Mike]

I'm watching them. I'M like, please leave. And they're like, no. And they start reaching to. Like, they're gonna punch the tv, you know?

[Jason]

Okay.

[Mike]

Gotta take care of business.

[Jason]

All right. All right.

[Andy]

Also, you could just. You're welcome. Just ask him.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Andy]

No poo poo on my yard.

[Mike]

Talk to the neighbor.

[Jason]

It would be funny if you put a fence up, but only for that corner of the yard. Like, it doesn't go across the whole front yard. Is this a corner of the fence? All right. Glad we could help you out.

[Mike]

What if you put, like, a little square patch of grass out on the sidewalk in front to help? It says, like, poop here. I don't think. Now that I think about that, I don't want that poopy piece of grass in my sidewalk, so. All right. That didn't work. Just talk to the neighbor.

[Jason]

All right. Dave from Patreon with a question for us. My coworker constantly listens to music at their desk with a Bluetooth speaker, and it's driving me crazy. How do I ask them to keep it down without coming off as the office grump?

[Mike]

Dude, when. When there are distractions in an office place, they can get out of control.

[Andy]

Whoa. What are we talking about here?

[Jason]

Who are you talking about?

[Mike]

I have no idea. But if you go to the doozers Cam, someone's eyes are pretty big.

[Andy]

Why? Who's been doing the distracting?

[Jason]

Distraction A and distraction B over there.

[Mike]

That's true. Honestly, Falcon, you might not start the conversation. Okay, Papa Josh is the catalyst. Catalyst. And the primary cause of distraction in the office work environment. But should he start.

[Jason]

I mean, you ain't letting it go.

[Andy]

You two guys, he's like the Will Ferrell impression of Harry Carey. Just like he's. You think the moon's made of cheese? And he was like, josh, we're just a place of business. We're trying to get stuff done. But would you eat it? Now there's a whole conversation about, is the moon made out of cheese? They're special. Also, I mean, I think.

[Jason]

How do you do this? So can you start by saying turn it down?

[Andy]

You can, but check this out. It's a little bit of mischief, but then you make up for it. Okay, what if you sabotage the Bluetooth speaker?

[Jason]

How?

[Andy]

Drop it in water? I don't know. Just make it not function anymore.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Andy]

Okay. And then they go to use it, and then they're all mad that their Bluetooth speaker is.

[Jason]

I know where you're going.

[Andy]

And then the next day, you're like, hey, man, I heard you the speaker. I knew you were really upset, so I bought you these headphones.

[Mike]

Oh, yeah, some AirPod Pros I bought.

[Andy]

Yeah, I spared no expense. I got you. They're noise canceling and everything.

[Mike]

I like listening to it out loud, but thank you. I'll still take these. It's all right. I already replaced my Bluetooth speaker.

[Andy]

Yeah, thank you so much. Give me those back because I need the noise cancellation. Because you're too loud.

[Jason]

This is the same kind of people that live in that stupid neighborhood. I mean, if you don't. If you don't have awareness for the people around you, it is just. You know who else lives in that neighborhood? The people. When I walk up at a movie theater to order popcorn and they work for the movie theater and there's no one else in the line, and I'm standing at the thing and they're just turned around and they're talking to each other, or they're like, doing something and they don't come up and take my order.

[Mike]

That gets you real peeved, huh?

[Jason]

It's insane. It's insanity.

[Mike]

You're at that age now where you real mad.

[Jason]

I've been this way my whole life. It's insanity when somebody is the youth. Can somebody get in on this with me?

[Andy]

Why is it only stop?

[Mike]

Gavin, you got a job to do. You done with your jibber jabber?

[Jason]

It's because if I was them, I could never do that. If I saw a person waiting, it would be impossible for me not to go over and help them.

[Mike]

I'll bet when you were a teenager.

[Jason]

Nope.

[Mike]

You thought the same way you think now, but oftentimes didn't realize you were having a good time talking to your buddy and didn't see someone.

[Andy]

Look, I'd go help them if I weren't having such a good time.

[Mike]

That's nice of you. I'm going to just start getting my own popcorn. Just walk back there.

[Jason]

Another option, Sing along with every song and see how long that songs last.

[Mike]

So I would think if this is you're trying to teach, right, you want them to turn your music off, but this is a learning opportunity, too, and you might have to sacrifice a little bit here, but I would just make sure you get there first and get your Bluetooth speaker on prior to there.

[Andy]

Establish dominance.

[Mike]

Establish dominance.

[Andy]

So you're taking the armrest.

[Mike]

100%. This is my armrest. And so if. Here's what I know you can't do. Like if someone's playing Bluetooth music next to you, you're not Going to put a Bluetooth music on yourself. It'll just sound awful and upsetting. And so whoever establishes dominance first, they control it. So if you put your speaker on now, your neighbor's going, well, that's so rude. And they will learn.

[Andy]

I hope they will not.

[Jason]

No, you'll just have shown them that it's okay to do that.

[Andy]

Yeah, they will.

[Jason]

Terrible offer.

[Andy]

They will not learn. I have another idea.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Andy]

What if you got. So I don't know how you would. I don't know how it worked with Bluetooth, but just figure out a way that you can get another, like a remote or something paired to the Bluetooth speaker. And then you just keep turning it up overly loud so other people come over and so that other people start getting. Or HR has to get involved. Like, do you. Like, Bob over here keeps playing his music way too loud. And then before you know it, Bluetooth speakers are banished.

[Mike]

Alternatively.

[Jason]

Oh, yeah, just talk to him.

[Mike]

Oh, you could talk to him. But if you want to, just find a way to cope with what you're having to deal with. I did. I learned this on this podcast many episodes ago. Mike, I believe you brought an article to our attention. You could pour water in their bag when they're not looking. So I would say if you're a government worker and you're a duly elected official and you're upset with something, you could just, behind their back, start pouring water in their bag or purse. Just every day for months, just pour water in it.

[Andy]

Forgotten all about that.

[Mike]

So, you know, there's a lot of different ways you can do this, but

[Jason]

probably just talk to him or the water one.

[Andy]

They felt so bad once they got

[Mike]

caught, Liam, because you just got caught for months pouring water in a colleague's bag. It's ridiculous.

[Jason]

Liam from Patreon said, my friend always wants to split the bill 5050 when we eat out, which is, by the way, super easy to do. It's the easiest thing. Just split it down the middle. Right.

[Andy]

You can tell the serve, but there's issues.

[Jason]

But they always order way more than I do.

[Andy]

Exactly.

[Jason]

How do I suggest that we pay for our own order without causing awkwardness or calling them an overeater?

[Mike]

Oh, you just got to order more, bro. I mean, this is. This is a contest now. This is a pissing contest, and you're. You are going to do it up.

[Andy]

Liam, I don't know if you like lobster, but you do now. You like lobster and you love flame surf and turf.

[Mike]

If you see MP on the menu, okay, that Means must purchase. Okay.

[Jason]

That's not market price. That's must purchase.

[Mike]

And eventually here.

[Andy]

Oh, I can't stop myself.

[Mike]

It's just so good we're splitting this, right?

[Jason]

I mean, just like always, Right.

[Mike]

I'll take the caviar. You're going to teach them a lesson soon enough. And in the meantime, you're getting great stuff out of it.

[Jason]

Have you been in this situation where you were unhappy that somebody wanted a 50 50?

[Andy]

I have not been in this situation. I have definitely, many times as a teenager, got stuck with the. Where the group goes, and everyone's like, here's my contribution to the bill.

[Jason]

Oh. And it's not close.

[Andy]

And then they bail, and you're like, there's tax and tip, and there's like, this. I spent $10 on my meal, so here is $10.

[Jason]

Oh, yeah. That sounds teenager.

[Andy]

Yeah. And then the bill shows up and you're like, we are short the $30.

[Mike]

Problem that happens is when it's a group and everyone chips in with their cash, and then at the end, it's like the whole bill was, like, $300. And then at the very end, you've got 120 bucks for, like, eight other people.

[Andy]

Exactly.

[Mike]

You're like, yeah, okay.

[Andy]

And they all leave. Yeah, I've had that happen several times.

[Mike]

You guys have the family member that won't let you pay for things.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Like, just absolutely. Like, it's like, oh, I. I got this. And they'll, like, never. It was.

[Andy]

They won't let you. They won't let you pay.

[Mike]

It's like you're pooping on their yard.

[Andy]

Are you complaining right now? I'm trying to read the tone of your voice because you're like, hey, you ever got this, buddy? All he does is just pay for all of your stuff whenever we go out. It's awesome. Oh, no, no.

[Jason]

I think he's got a family member that won't let him pay for that.

[Mike]

Yeah. But Mike's point is. That's awesome.

[Jason]

Oh, yeah. I got you. I got.

[Andy]

Is the issue.

[Mike]

I don't know. I just. I think it is. I believe this is not a joke. I believe it is a good thing to be able to accept kindness as well. And so sometimes people have a hard time. They will give kindness, but they would not.

[Andy]

Sounds like you're having a real hard time accepting their kindness.

[Jason]

It does. It does.

[Mike]

Okay. That is completely fair. In this single example. I agree. So maybe I should work on that, But I think all people should work on that. It's okay. To accept. Accept kindness, accept help.

[Jason]

Yeah. You never want to be in the situation where, like, it's a pride thing. Why you can't accept.

[Andy]

Again, I have gotten to the point where, like, I'm. Look, if we go out and, you know, like, I'm. I'll pay. Like, hey, I got it. And then if they do the. Oh, no, no, no, no thing, that's the end.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Andy]

That is the end of the conversation. We're not.

[Jason]

You're not going to do the.

[Andy]

We're not playing the game. Oh, no, I insist. No, no. I just. The game is done. If I have offered to pay and you jump in and say, no, no, no, I want. Oh, okay. Then here's what you're paying.

[Mike]

I am 100.

[Andy]

That game is done.

[Mike]

Thousand percent.

[Andy]

Get that out of my heart.

[Jason]

That ain't Mike's game for sure.

[Mike]

No, I think it's right. Like, you can offer to pay, and if they say, no, I don't want you to, then you should not pay.

[Andy]

Yeah. And then it's almost. You're like, I'm calling your bluff.

[Jason]

Have you ever had somebody that just goes, why don't you pay?

[Andy]

You got it this time.

[Mike]

Right now, this question comes.

[Jason]

I got the last one, didn't I?

[Mike]

This question comes in from Jason on set. What if that is your stance, but then your wife is always completely adamant that you pay. And so now there's, like, this fight between, like, hypothetically. Hypothetically, yeah, of course. Hypothetical situation where it's like, have you

[Jason]

gone to the server, like, secretly before?

[Mike]

Oh, many times.

[Jason]

Yeah. Let's take care of. Put this card on file, and let's make sure the bill's taken care of.

[Mike]

Yeah, exactly.

[Jason]

I've done that.

[Mike]

Sometimes you. You. You have to. Depending on. On the situation, but.

[Andy]

Yeah, because you got to let the family know that I'm better than you. I'm Pay for everything.

[Jason]

That's why they turn it down.

[Mike]

That's.

[Andy]

That's why they turn.

[Mike]

I agree. That's what I feel like it. It portrays sometimes. And I. Yeah, that's why I do it.

[Andy]

You get what. You guys do it because you're kind.

[Mike]

No, yeah, it's.

[Andy]

It's.

[Mike]

That's funny. Paying. Paying is putting bills to the.

[Jason]

To the restaurant where I'm better.

[Mike]

Yeah. Paying and splitting bills is always that. Like, that awkward end to the meal if it wasn't just clearly established in the beginning where you go, oh, this was nice.

[Jason]

There's a second awkwardness.

[Mike]

What are we doing here?

[Jason]

If you let it known beforehand that you're paying. It prohibits them from ordering what they want.

[Mike]

Some for sure. You got to pay at the end, you know, unless it's beforehand, like, hey, my treat, I'm going to take you out of the way.

[Jason]

No, but if you say that sometimes people will seriously not order stuff just

[Mike]

to prevent it's on them.

[Andy]

Take the kind, accept the kindness, be generous, accept generosity.

[Mike]

There you go. Great quote.

[Jason]

Two guys buying.

[Mike]

No, man, you are. We accept your. We accept your generosity today.

[Jason]

All right, we'll take a break, be back with our draft.

[Andy]

Today's show is brought to you by

[Sponsor Voice]

our friends at Gorton's Seafood. Gorton's seafood isn't new. It's been trusted since 1849. Their over 175 year legacy speaks for itself. When you're choosing dinner, you want to know it's worth it every time. Gorton's delivers uncompromising quality and reliable fresh taste. It's an easy, dependable choice that takes the stress out of mealtime. Gorton's products work for every occasion with a wide variety of products that'll make appetizers like coconut shrimp a breeze to more creative options like new taco tenders to shake things up effortlessly. Solve the snack appetizer or main meal dilemma with one trusted brand. Fish sticks.

[Andy]

Come on, people. Fish sticks are delicious.

[Sponsor Voice]

They're fantastic. And Gorton's makes the best ones. My wife loves the fish sandwich as well. It's just, it's great.

[Andy]

It's a great product.

[Sponsor Voice]

It's delicious. Visit gortons.com to learn more, find a store and get recipe inspiration.

[Andy]

Today's show is brought to you by

[Sponsor Voice]

our friends at Factor. Hunger hits. Energy's gone. And that healthy meal in the fridge, it's not happening. That's not a willpower problem. It's a setup problem. Factor fixes it with fully prepared meals designed by dietitians and crafted by chefs delivered right to the door. Think protein packed favorites like grilled chicken with roasted veggies. Perfect for staying on track without the work. Meals are fresh, never frozen, ready in two minutes with a hundred plus options each week. No planning, no grocery runs. Just real nutritious food that fits the routine. I love Factor. I love when the meals show up every week that look, I get to pick them. They got a ton of different options and they are all I know they're healthy, I know it's real food and I know that it's delicious and I

[Andy]

know that it's fast.

[Mike]

We even bring them into the studio, eat them here we Absolutely.

[Andy]

Do. We love our factor?

[Sponsor Voice]

Cannot recommend them enough, so check them out. Head to FactorMeals.com Ballers 50 off and use code BALLERS50OFF to get 50% off and free daily greens per box with new subscription only while supplies last until September 27, 2026. See website for more details.

[Mike]

The Spitballers draft.

[Jason]

All right, we are drafting the best places to host a private party. This could be anywhere on earth. Anywhere you want to have a party. That would be very cool. In fact, before Mike takes his first pick.

[Mike]

We know.

[Jason]

I remember.

[Mike]

I know that stinks because it's the 101 and I want it. And if. If we were in reverse order here and Andy started, it came to me, I'd have it. But.

[Jason]

Go ahead, Mike. I'll tell the story later.

[Andy]

Oh, sorry. No, no, no, no, no, no. I'll get at it. I insist you tell your story. Your story.

[Jason]

All I was going to say was that one time in high school, the prom was not at, like, an empty amphitheater. It was at a science center.

[Andy]

Oh, yeah, yeah. That's pretty common here.

[Jason]

And it was. You know, a prom is a party, and it was, like, cool to have stuff around that you could look at or see. So there are places where it would be very novel and neat to have a party. That's all I was going to say.

[Andy]

Arizona Science Center.

[Jason]

Yes, sir.

[Andy]

Yeah, I went to one prom.

[Jason]

It was awesome.

[Andy]

For someone else's school, and that's where we were.

[Jason]

It's fantastic.

[Andy]

So the bad news of having. Of having the 101 means that the. That legendary scat I did went out there. Great news is I have the first pick for this one, so. It's Disneyland, baby.

[Mike]

It's not just Disneyland. It's Disneyland after hours. It's having the parts yourself, though.

[Andy]

No, we're starting it. So we're starting at the beginning, and

[Mike]

we're going just a solo. You. You get Disneyland for the day.

[Andy]

How unbelievable.

[Mike]

I can't imagine. I thought about, like, if you're. If you're Elon Musk, if you're just a billionaire and you. You can have enough money to just be like, no. Every worker works today. Okay? We're not. We're not going skeleton crew here. It's me and my friends were. We're. Every churro stand is operational.

[Jason]

Like, snap.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Disappeared for you.

[Mike]

Yeah. I mean, that's funny.

[Jason]

I didn't think about the whole park.

[Andy]

Oh, yeah.

[Jason]

I thought about, like, just a part of the park. So, like, if you.

[Andy]

Ooh. You gotta Think bigger.

[Jason]

If you're at this park, are you all like you and your group? It just seems like so much space.

[Mike]

Oh, yeah, that's part of the.

[Andy]

So great.

[Mike]

Yeah, that's part of the allure. In fact, here, let me show you how it's done. I am. I'm up next. I am not taking the Oval Office. I'm taking the whole White House.

[Andy]

Okay, I get the.

[Mike]

I'm partying at the White House.

[Andy]

Which other room in the White House do you like?

[Mike]

Oh, all of them, man. Lincoln bedroom.

[Andy]

Okay.

[Mike]

That's gonna be the whole West Wing. We're gonna do it up.

[Jason]

So you're taking the White House after Disneyland?

[Mike]

Yeah, I want Disneyland.

[Andy]

Which one do you want? Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Mike]

I wish I could. I would be happy to take California Adventures.

[Andy]

No, I'm the President and I'm going to be on Big Thunderbolt.

[Jason]

So you're.

[Andy]

Private party.

[Mike]

You know, I'm dressing up as Abe Lincoln, like, you know, for my party in the White House. I got the top hat and the beard on.

[Andy]

Watch your back here.

[Mike]

Too soon, Andy.

[Jason]

The next pick I'm going to go. I got a double. A double selection here. Number one again. To me, this is. I got the invitation. It shows up. It's got White House on it. That's awesome. I'm going to the White House for a party. You know where I'm going? I'm going to Alcatraz.

[Mike]

Oh, that's on my list.

[Jason]

I'm going to Alcatraz. I gotta take a boat to get to this party. And then it's all creepy and cool to be done up in a cool prison way.

[Andy]

Well, of course.

[Mike]

Well, yeah. I mean, you gotta theme the party to the locale.

[Jason]

Yeah, I'll hire prisoners to be like at the bars.

[Mike]

I would hire actors. Screaming, man. I would have just acted. I wouldn't. I wouldn't get real prisoners. That's danger to your party. That's fair.

[Andy]

I won't get real prisoners. Everything here is authentic. 100%.

[Jason]

No, I wouldn't go in there.

[Mike]

See that toothbrush shank? That's real, man. That guy just whittled that down. Watch out.

[Andy]

See that crazy guy? He looks like a murderer. Cuz he is. Spare no expense.

[Jason]

So come to my party on Alcatraz and then come to my party. And this is in the spirit of that old. The prom at the Science Center.

[Andy]

All right.

[Jason]

Come to my party at the. I know Jason won't come, but everyone else can. The Museum of National History.

[Andy]

Natural History.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Andy]

You said National Natural History. Okay. I just wanted to make sure we're

[Jason]

talking about the same place in New York City.

[Andy]

The dinosaur place.

[Jason]

Yeah, well, more than that, but, yeah. There's a giant whale hanging from the center of the Museum of Nash.

[Andy]

How much do you have to Natural History? How much you got to grease the wheels up there to go ride that way?

[Jason]

I feel like my party. Nothing. It's a ride.

[Andy]

I was gonna say you wait in line to do it.

[Jason]

You wait in line.

[Mike]

If you're able to have a private party and you have that whole thing, I'm allowed. It's all touchy. I'm allowed to touch out. It's all touchy. Everything is touchy. This has now become. Became an interactive science museum. All the ropes. I'm like, can you move all the ropes outside?

[Jason]

It was the museum, right? The movie. The museum.

[Andy]

Night at the museum.

[Jason]

Night at the museum. That's what it was. But that's where Ben Stiller. That's where the party is. But they don't come alive. Okay, Jason, you are back on the clock.

[Mike]

Okay, so there's not a lot of cool places left in the world. Wow. I've got most of what I want.

[Jason]

So Disneyland. Just to be clear, if Disneyland was gone from the world, you would have almost nothing to do.

[Mike]

Exactly.

[Andy]

Oh, Disney World.

[Mike]

Yeah. I mean, Disney World's a little bit far away, though. And apparently, when you try to go, there's usually a hurricane.

[Andy]

Yeah, it can be. I mean, you could go to. You could go to Japan to go to Disneyland.

[Mike]

Hey, dude, that's number one on my list of Disneylands to go to.

[Jason]

All right. What other touchy places are you drafting?

[Mike]

Other touchy places that I'm drafting, which is the draft today, I think I'm not the draft.

[Andy]

Go on.

[Mike]

I would love. We're football fans. I think having a party at a famous stadium would be really cool, kind of having it all to yourself. And when I think of famous stadiums, there are two that come to mind. Just I don't know if it's right or wrong. Like, famous any stadiums at all. I think of Wrigley Field, and I think of Lambeau, and I'm actually close between them only because if you had a party at Wrigley, I think it would be fun to have a baseball game. And you can. You can't just, like, at a party. You can't have a football game. Football games are too dangerous. Too dangerous, too advanced, Too cool.

[Jason]

Oh, okay. So you mean you're playing in the game?

[Mike]

Yeah, I'm saying the People at the party can have an impromptu.

[Jason]

I was trying to figure out why the players couldn't play during the party. I got you.

[Mike]

You can have a kickball game using the field. You know what I mean?

[Andy]

But that would be fun.

[Mike]

At the same time, I don't want to put myself in a baseball stadium. So I'm going to take Lambo.

[Jason]

Okay. Lambo Field.

[Mike]

Lambeau Field. I'll rent that out.

[Jason]

Just pick the right time of year, man. Don't do it in the middle of winter.

[Mike]

It'll be a nice, cool summer day.

[Jason]

Okay. Okay, Mike, you've got two picks left.

[Andy]

All right, so my first pick. I don't know if you guys are aware, but so the. When you visit the Eiffel Tower, there's like, there's the second floor. So it's like this huge area. I looked up. It's 4,700 square feet. So it's the second floor of the Eiffel Tower. So you're in your way.

[Jason]

4,700 square feet. It's a base.

[Andy]

Not a huge party, but yeah. I mean, me and.

[Jason]

So like company.

[Andy]

It's like 10 people. Yeah, 10 people hanging out on top of that.

[Jason]

Didn't know you could go up in it.

[Andy]

Yeah, and you can. I mean, you can climb up to the top too, if you want, but there's. There's a big enough area that you can hang out, say, have a good. Oh, yeah.

[Jason]

Like, if the drinks are flowing or people. There's glass and stuff, like to keep.

[Andy]

Well, there's also edges. Ah, I'd look out for those.

[Jason]

Yeah, that's what I was. As I was talking about.

[Andy]

Yeah. Well, we'll just have to take precautions.

[Jason]

Eiffel Tower, that's pretty dope.

[Andy]

Yeah. So you're way up there. And speaking of way up there, uh. Oh, you got to take a ride to get. To get up to this next one. I will have my party on the iss.

[Jason]

That was on my.

[Andy]

Everybody.

[Mike]

I thought for sure I'd get that on my last pick.

[Andy]

Space station.

[Mike]

I mean, that is. That's probably the one on one. Like, Disneyland is cool, but I thought. I thought that that would not go drafted because, you know, like, Andy started saying anywhere on Earth, and I was thinking low orbit. Yeah, I'm not on Earth.

[Jason]

The biggest. The biggest problem is I didn't know what the. Like, it's on my list. It would have been picked, but I didn't know what the square footage would be like.

[Mike]

Yeah, I don't care.

[Andy]

It's not two people.

[Mike]

Yeah. Honestly, when I have a party, that's usually the amount of people I want to invite. So this is all the way around. It's perfect.

[Jason]

It just feels like it might be easy to be late to that party. Yeah, I mean, you got to really time.

[Mike]

I don't think you can be late. I think, well, if you miss your

[Andy]

flight, you're gonna have to wait a month or so.

[Mike]

Yeah, for sure.

[Andy]

For another launch.

[Mike]

But I do think that they are. They don't. I think they're on a pretty tight schedule with those rock. All right. So am I. Back up. You are.

[Jason]

All right.

[Mike]

Space station is gone. Darn it.

[Jason]

I'm going to go with 3,900 square feet if you kind of.

[Mike]

That's not bad.

[Jason]

But it's all tubular.

[Andy]

It's all tight quarters.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Okay. So there's one that maybe I could definitely see Andy enjoying. Might be on his list. But I'm going to. I'm going to play the game, see if it comes back to me. I'm going to take a luxury yacht. I've never been on one.

[Andy]

That's. Yeah, that's fair.

[Jason]

But you can make some assumptions. That is not bad.

[Mike]

I can make some pretty clear assumptions based on, you know, all the photographs of awesome yacht parties. That. That'd be cool. I'm out on the ocean, just watching dolphins swim and having a great time. Having a party on a yacht. I never thought I'd be on a boat.

[Andy]

What is the Andy like the dolphins? I did.

[Mike]

I did.

[Jason]

Because I just feel like there's. There's got to be a bit where Jason just talks about what stuff is. It's just what stuff is.

[Andy]

Two minutes with Jason stuff. There's. Out there.

[Jason]

I'll be seeing dolphins and, like, they'll be, like, glistening on the ocean.

[Mike]

I can smell the waves and the ocean and kind of the peepee water. The ocean kind of smells like pee.

[Jason]

Salty pee.

[Mike]

Salty pee.

[Jason]

You think the ocean smells like pee?

[Mike]

100%. Not mine.

[Jason]

It does not smell like pee.

[Mike]

You know how much pee is in the ocean? You know how many animals are out there excreting?

[Andy]

Yeah, they're pooping.

[Mike]

That's all of it. I mean, I was trying to be kind, gentlemanly.

[Andy]

Do fish they poop? Do they urinate?

[Mike]

They have to.

[Jason]

I don't care.

[Mike]

I really care. We've got. Oh, I need a million biologists in the house.

[Jason]

Papa Josh.

[Mike]

Papa Josh is googling.

[Jason]

Have you ever been peed on by a dog?

[Mike]

Fish do.

[Jason]

Yes.

[Mike]

Nice.

[Jason]

I think.

[Andy]

Interesting.

[Jason]

I don't think you're smelling pee, though, man. You're smelling like seaweed.

[Andy]

I don't think you are either.

[Mike]

Okay, then. Seaweed smells like pee.

[Andy]

It smells like seaweed. Seaweed does smell bad.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Is it my turn?

[Mike]

Yes.

[Andy]

Is it?

[Jason]

Back to me. All right, step one, pick three here. I've got Alcatraz in the Museum of Natural History. I'm gonna go. An ice hotel in Sweden, dude.

[Andy]

It's on my list.

[Jason]

An ice hotel?

[Andy]

Yeah, the ice hotel.

[Jason]

I mean, why not?

[Mike]

I mean, that's a dream for me

[Jason]

that seems very, very unique and special and cool.

[Andy]

It will be awesome. Every year, they build a hotel out of ice, and you get to go party there.

[Jason]

And I think Al Borland is going to respect this pick. I don't know about the rest of the guys, but I think he will, because, look, it's just. It's just a cool place to have a party and to feel regal and unique and special. I'm taking Downton Abbey.

[Mike]

Oh. That was the pick I wanted to come back to.

[Jason]

Me taking Downton Abbey. The castle. Cause it really exists.

[Andy]

There's a castle there.

[Jason]

I mean, it's. That's what Downton.

[Andy]

I don't know anything about the show.

[Jason]

Downton Abbey.

[Andy]

It's for snobby people.

[Mike]

It's great.

[Andy]

Downtown Abbey.

[Jason]

No, no, no.

[Mike]

Downton Abbey.

[Jason]

Downton. I will post a picture of it. It is a.

[Andy]

There's a castle.

[Jason]

It is essentially an abbey, but it's a castle. It looks like a castle.

[Andy]

Wait, an abbey is a castle?

[Mike]

It's not a castle.

[Andy]

I thought abbey was a name.

[Jason]

No, there's no ramparts for you to walk. Okay, so it's not a castle, but it's an old manor.

[Andy]

That's not a castle.

[Jason]

That is humongous.

[Andy]

There's no moat.

[Jason]

All right. That's the pick, man.

[Mike]

Yeah. I was gonna. I was gonna end up drafting that. That was the pick that I had that I wanted, that I thought Andy likes. He would respect it. Maybe it'll get back to me. If it got back to me, I would have actually taken the Windsor Castle, just because it's bigger and more regal and it's actually castle.

[Jason]

You could have taken a Buckingham Palace. You can take in a million of those. So I'm taking down.

[Mike]

And I like it. I like it. The show's great, and that would be fun to be there, since I don't have that, but I am fancy. And we gonna cut it up. We're going to the Sistine Chapel.

[Andy]

Okay. All right.

[Mike]

And we're throwing A party.

[Andy]

Okay.

[Mike]

At the Sistine Chapel.

[Jason]

Okay.

[Mike]

I get to look at some fancy art, be part of history and cut it up.

[Jason]

That seems to be the big one.

[Andy]

Yeah, Cutting it up.

[Mike]

That's what. That's what you want.

[Jason]

Do you take a guess without looking? When do you think that was built? Give me, like, the century.

[Mike]

Oh, man. Okay.

[Jason]

If you get this right, I'll be so impressed that you don't need ceremony.

[Andy]

When was the Sistine Chapel built?

[Jason]

Yeah. Let's play a game of who's closest to the guests.

[Mike]

That's the one with Michael.

[Andy]

He did the.

[Mike]

Yeah, so before it took eight years.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Jason]

So you can get anywhere in that eight years, and I'll be happy.

[Andy]

If I got within 100 years, I'd be happy.

[Jason]

Yeah. If you get with 100 years,

[Mike]

I'm going to say the. I'm going to say the 1300s.

[Jason]

Okay, Mike?

[Andy]

I wanted to say the, like, the 1100s, but now that sounds stupid, but I'll go with that anyways.

[Jason]

1473.

[Andy]

Okay.

[Mike]

All right. I'm not. I said 1300s. I meant 1399. Pretty close.

[Andy]

That's not bad. That's not bad at all.

[Jason]

All right, now, that's not too bad. I didn't know if you were going to say, like, 1971. All right, Mike, you get the final pick here. Jason has the White House, the Lambeau Field luxury yacht with the dolphins swimming around, and the Sistine Chapel.

[Andy]

All right.

[Mike]

Some of the greatest art in there for the.

[Andy]

For my. My final pick here. It's. It's a little tough because I can't actually tell you where the party would take place, like, what room. But we would figure it out because I'm partying with the aliens, baby. I'm going to Area 51.

[Mike]

Okay, that's good.

[Jason]

Just don't.

[Andy]

We're gonna cut it up in some UFOs.

[Jason]

It's the only place where your guests might get shot trying to get to the party.

[Andy]

Yeah, well, you show me them aliens, man.

[Jason]

Yeah, I. You know, that makes sense. I thought Area 51 would get drafted.

[Mike]

That's a good. That's a good draft. You've got. You've got a lot of space going on.

[Jason]

Yeah, that makes sense.

[Andy]

Well, that's how I get to the ISS. It's from Area 51.

[Mike]

Can they launch from there?

[Andy]

I'm sure.

[Mike]

Yeah, but in the alien craft. Yeah, so no one sees it.

[Andy]

So it's even faster.

[Jason]

The only other real one I didn't take that was on my list was the Roman Coliseum. I thought that one would be good. But you took Lambeau Field. Basically the same.

[Mike]

I don't have a single leftover.

[Andy]

I had the Mount Everest base camp.

[Jason]

Sure.

[Andy]

Seems like that would be a good time.

[Jason]

That's going to limit your guest list as well.

[Andy]

It will. And this is more just. It's picture picturesque, but like Stonehenge.

[Jason]

Okay. In the background. Lots of pictures.

[Andy]

Yeah. I mean, they're like.

[Mike]

It's.

[Andy]

Other than that, you're just a grass.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Andy]

You're just in grass hills.

[Mike]

Yeah. You're just like. I've got a grass hill pretty near

[Jason]

my house with some rocks, though, man.

[Andy]

Not Stonehenge rock. But yeah. But if we made the rules about the museum that I can just ride the whale if I'm having a party at Stonehenge, that means I get to be all.

[Jason]

You can climb up on the ruins. Climb up in those hinges.

[Andy]

Yeah. I'm gonna be doing push ups on the top.

[Mike]

It's really. There are no hinges in Stonehenge. Which I feel like is.

[Jason]

Well, it's not spelt like that.

[Andy]

Yeah, it is. Hinge. There are hinged. Isn't henged with fence.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Mike]

With H E n. You can spell hinged multiple ways. This is crazy, man. Today's crazy.

[Andy]

It really hinges on how you spell it.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Switch.

[Jason]

All right, let's close it down.

[Mike]

What did we learn today? I learned that if you just talk to someone doing something wrong, it's probably the easiest way.

[Andy]

I learned that I got a. I have some booby traps to take down.

[Jason]

Oh, my goodness. And I didn't learn anything today. So that'll do it for today's show. Jason with the scat. Next week. Can't wait.

[Mike]

What?

[Jason]

And we'll be back with another episode.

[Mike]

This was our last show ever. Congrats, guys.

[Jason]

Oh, my gosh. Wow. Well, have a good one then. Have a good life, everyone.

[Mike]

Goodbye. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out spitballerspod.com.

[Royal Caribbean Announcer]

Royal Caribbean takes next level to another level. Go all in on the world's boldest ships. Filled with mind blowing entertainment, world class dining and the largest water parks at sea. And just when you think it couldn't get any better, you'll stop at our award winning private island. Perfect day. Coco Cay. It's an unreal adventure for everyone in the family book. [e-mail] Big time, best time, all the time. Come seek the Royal Caribbean ship's registry.

[Mike]

Bahamas.

[Commercial Announcer]

Not sure if you have the experience to start your dream job. Good news. These days it's the skills that count. Udemy can help you get those in demand. Skills? Want to be an AI mastermind? Learn with us. Game Developer. We've got you covered. AWS Certified Cloud Practitioner. We can help you prep. You'll learn from real world experts who love what they do so that you can love what you do. Go to udemy.com for the skills to get you started and get set for your dream job.