Nap Attacks & Extinct Technologies - Spit Hits! - Comedy Podcast

Summary

Spitballers Comedy Podcast

Episode: Nap Attacks & Extinct Technologies - Spit Hits!
Hosts: Andy, Mike, Jason
Date: March 27, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this episode, the Spitballers—Andy, Mike, and Jason—combine their signature mix of clean, family-friendly hilarity and playful nostalgia in a packed show centered around questions about extinct technology, lively "Would You Rather" scenarios, and hilarious debates about the subtle differences in everyday language. The highlight is a "Spitballers Draft" where the trio reminisces about technologies that have come and gone, exploring both their utility and the hilarious ways they impacted '90s and '00s life.

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Key Segments, Discussions, and Memorable Moments

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1. Opening Banter & Introduction to Extinct Technology (01:12–05:43)

• The hosts riff on "extinct technology", joking about how once-essential businesses and gadgets become obsolete.
  • Jason highlights, "When I think of extinct technology, I can't help but always go to the fact that somebody somewhere had a business, and their business was that technology." (02:10)
  • Andy notes their own brush with obsolescence, “We started a business on MySpace. MySpace could be on this list…” (02:28)
• Commentary on the unlikely survival of Best Buy and wild speculation about money laundering and the mob, with Mike quipping, "For that day, I figured it was money laundering." (03:17)

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2. Jason's Elderly Hero Moment (03:33–05:43)

• Jason tells a story about stepping in at a Verizon store to protect two elderly customers from upselling, channeling his inner "protection zone." (03:33)
  • Jason: “By the mercy of the Lord. These two folks were like, oh, well, we need to talk to our financial person and then we’ll get back to you… I pulled them aside and explained…that was a bunch of baloney.” (04:00–05:06)
• Mike deadpans, “This show is brought to you by Verizon.” (05:08)

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3. Would You Rather? Teleportation, Trampolines, and Fictional Upgrades (05:43–23:17)

a) Teleportation vs. Time-Free Travel

• The team debates: Would you rather travel the normal way and lose no time, or teleport but lose triple the time on the clock? (05:44–10:58)
  • Andy, in awe: “The one thing that I think is being lost is that one of these comes with freaking teleportation. Like, of course I'm taking whatever the hardships are that I can teleport.” (10:20)
  • Mike points out, “You’re never late anywhere, right? You just got to leave by the time you got to be there.” (09:27, 09:35)

b) Turn Any Surface into a Trampoline or Walk on Water?

• Playful analysis of the usefulness of both powers ensues. (10:59–15:01)
  • Andy: “There's no purpose to turning the water into solid ground to walk on.” (12:00)
  • Jason: “Do you know what trampolines are for? For people over 30. Way different ways to throw your back out. That's all they are.” (13:35)

c) Conjure a Fictional Vehicle vs. Fictional Companion

• Would you take the Millennium Falcon, a time-traveling DeLorean, or a legendary companion? (15:02–23:17)
  • Jason weighs practical issues: “If you put me in the Millennium Falcon, I ain’t never taking off...Where’s the door?” (19:09)
  • On picking a companion: “I can take Doc Brown with me, and then we're good. He did it once.” (19:37, 19:48)
  • Endless debate about the user-friendliness of fake spacecraft and whether user manuals are included.

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4. What’s the Difference? Hilarious Linguistics (25:26–39:30)

• Rind, Peel, Skin (25:26–30:07)
  • Spirited speculation about fruit "butts", orange rinds, and what exactly each word means.
  • Andy asserts, “I'm telling you, the rind is the butt part of the peel. That's how I view it.” (26:06)
  • Jason reads: "A rind is a thick, hard and tough outer covering...usually inedible." (28:56)
  • Ultimately: Peels, rinds, and skins are, confusingly, nearly interchangeable!
• Graveyard vs. Cemetery (30:08–32:27)
  • Graveyards are haunted by definition, cemeteries are respectable; graveyards are what happens if no one visits "for three years," says Jason. (31:00)
  • “If [zombies] come out of a cemetery, it is instantly a graveyard.” (32:01 – Andy)
• Goblet, Chalice, Grail (32:28–34:51)
  • A running joke about cereal in a chalice, decorative goblets, and the uniqueness of the (Holy) Grail.
  • “I think there is only one grail...You're grabbing chalices and goblets, hoping it's the one.” (34:32–34:38)
• Nodding Off, Drifting Off, Dozing Off, Falling Asleep (34:52–39:48)
  • The art of denial: “You have to have one singular nod. Nodding off is forward. You can't nod off backwards.” (35:11–35:20)
  • Delightful honesty about the ‘sweetest sleep ever’ being the “illegal sleep,”—dozing on the couch and denying it to your spouse. (37:44)
  • “If you could figure it out for a device…but to me, the sweetest sleep ever is the illegal sleep. It is so sweet.” – Jason (37:42)
  • Andy: “I learned that dozing off is only for parents.” (63:07)

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5. Spitballers Draft: Extinct Technology (41:16–63:01)

DRAFT FORMAT: Each host selects extinct technologies in a "snake draft" style, reminiscing as they go.

(Top picks listed with the best quotes and rationale)

• Compact Discs (CDs)
  Mike: “If you wanted to bring your music collection with you, you had to bring a gigantic binder of CDs…” (43:15)

• DVDs
  Andy: “You just buy them and have bookshelves, literal 8 foot tall, 5ft wide, bookshelves filled...I loved having a DVD collection.” (44:34–45:14)

• Dial-Up Modems
  Jason (on the nostalgia): “An iconic sound...your phone is used and you’re dialing up and no one else can use the phone. You’ve cut off contact your home.” (46:30–46:56)

• Typewriter
  Jason: “The best part of a typewriter was that if you messed up...you’d slip this little thin piece of white, basically held white ink, and you’d type the same letter…” (47:53–48:18)

• Payphones
  Andy: “Payphones were unfathomably important...you had to use them because cell phones didn’t exist. You couldn’t call someone without a payphone when you were out of your house.” (49:41–50:02)

• Pagers
  Mike: “What could the pager show you? Just numbers…sometimes it would say 911…Sometimes it would say I love you if you turned it upside down. Sometimes it would say naughty words that your friends would text you.” (51:03–51:20)

• Polaroid Cameras
  Mike: “Back before everybody had one of those and you wanted to get some pictures...everything will remain undocumented...Usually there's...maybe you called them on a payphone once.” (53:34)

• Fax Machines
  Andy: “This machine used to be super important to all business...you would use a fax machine…if you fax a fax, you hope you can read that final output at the end destination.” (55:52–56:02, 56:37–56:59)

• VHS Tapes
  Jason: “You got to rewind it, you browse the Blockbuster, the video store.” (57:38–57:49)

• Walkman
  Jason: “The Walkman was, it was a generational staple...the Sony Walkman. Good name, good brand, good marketing.” (59:18–59:58)

• Overhead Projector
  Mike: “If you were in elementary school in the late 80s, early 90s, how did the teacher show you all the information? Well, they put it on the overhead projector, baby.” (60:35)

Also Mentioned:

• Video game cartridges, floppy disks, dot matrix printers, rotary phones, “non-Google” search engines, Morse code, telegraphs, and zip drives.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Time-Traveling DeLoreans:
  • “If you put me in the Millennium Falcon, I ain’t never taking off...Where’s the door?” – Jason (19:09)
  • “There’s actually a ton of people with DeLoreans stuck in the past right now that are just too tall.” – Jason (17:29)
• On Nostalgia for Obsolete Tech:
  • “Oftentimes people romanticize the things of old until they go use them again.” – Jason (41:49)
  • Mike on pagers: “We were tech forward on pagers, and our entire family got one...the person was like, whoa, you guys all have pagers? Wow, what a dumb thing.” (51:36–52:15)
• On Fake Sleeping / Denial:
  • “If you could figure it out for a device…but to me, the sweetest sleep ever is the illegal sleep.” – Jason (37:42)
  • “I learned that dozing off is only for parents.” – Andy (63:07)

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Flow, Tone, and Listener Value

From laugh-out-loud musings to playful childhood recollections and chaotic debates on semantics, this episode is classic Spitballers: witty, self-deprecating, and sharply observant about generational changes in technology and language.

Listeners will come away with a strong feeling of both nostalgia and amusement, perfect for anyone who remembers the elegant misery of dial-up Internet or the drama of skipping CDs. The chemistry among Andy, Mike, and Jason ensures that even simple topics become high-energy, relatable entertainment.

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• Extinct Technology Opening Banter: 01:12–05:43
• Jason's Elderly Hero Verizon Story: 03:33–05:43
• Would You Rather: Teleportation and Beyond: 05:43–23:17
• What's the Difference—Fruit Parts, Graveyards, Drinks, Sleeping: 25:26–39:48
• Spitballers Draft: Extinct Technology: 41:16–63:01
• Outro & Quick Recap: 63:01–63:13

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For more fun and retro comedy, catch all the Spitballers’ episodes at SpitballersPod.com.

Transcript

[Andy]

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[Andy]

What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers podcast with Andy, Mike and Jason.

[Jason]

Little Bursts.

[Andy]

I think it went extinct.

[Mike]

It's bad. It's bad. No longer useful. Oh, beep, beep, boop, beep.

[Jason]

All right, welcome in. You got to power that. Oh, okay. Yeah. Well, the. The show has started. Any Mike and Jason, back with you. Spitballers Episode 260. Would you rather. What's the difference? And we are drafting extinct technology on today's show. We. Which should be very fun.

[Andy]

Yeah. Honestly, just putting this list together was fun to remember. All of the things that, like, were really useful were, at times, super cool.

[Jason]

Core parts of people's lives.

[Andy]

Absolutely. And then it's like, what a loser.

[Mike]

Thank you. Next.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Jason]

When I think of extinct technology, I can't help but always go to the fact that somebody somewhere had a business, and their business was that technology. And at some point, they got into a room and they said, we're going to be rich forever.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Business is booming, and we're never going anywhere.

[Andy]

We've lived this. What are you talking about? We lived this life. We started a business on MySpace. MySpace could be on this list of extinct.

[Jason]

That's really fair.

[Andy]

But I mean, oh, man, this is gonna last forever.

[Jason]

The Radio Shack guy, he said it at one point in time.

[Andy]

But how is Best Buy still open? They're doing.

[Mike]

I mean, they've morphed.

[Andy]

Kudos to the Best Buy people because you've done what no one else has been able to do.

[Jason]

They have morphed. They also. The last one lives because somebody needs a fine. Like, you do need a place to physically go get something immediately, and the last one will always live in that department.

[Andy]

Okay, that makes sense.

[Jason]

You got to be able to go get a cable or you got to go get a controller.

[Mike]

For that day, I figured it was money laundering.

[Jason]

That's also one of their strategies.

[Andy]

Way better idea.

[Mike]

Does the mob own Best Buy?

[Jason]

Let's just be honest. You know what it is? It's that Geek squad.

[Mike]

Oh, yeah.

[Jason]

Taking advantage of. Oh, taking advantage of people.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Did I tell. I told you guys that I had to. I was in a Verizon store and I had to. Did I not tell you I had to intervene there? You didn't tell the story.

[Mike]

Oh, no. You saved someone. I saved somebody.

[Jason]

I couldn't help myself, really. And it felt like. It just felt like something because they were super old. Yes.

[Andy]

Okay.

[Jason]

It was two old people talking to the Verizon salesperson. I was in line because you're required to be in a line of at least 20 people in a cell phone store.

[Andy]

Of course.

[Jason]

And I'm sitting there and I am listening to this young lady slash criminal talk to these two. This couple that had. They had a hundred dollar cell phone bill when they came in there and they had lost the phone and just wanted to get a new phone. And by the end of this lady's. This young lady's speech to this elderly couple who clearly, like, these are the people they take advantage of. Their bill was going to be $242 and it was going to be, well, you got a new plan and. And you got the protection plan. And she was wrapping all this stuff in there that was too fast for them to understand. By the mercy of the Lord. These two folks were like, oh, well, we need to talk to our financial person and then we'll get back to you. And when they left the store, I walked out of the store, pulled them aside and explained to them both. I said, you can get whatever you want. But let me tell you, that was a bunch of baloney what she was saying. You don't need to do X, Y and Z. They just wrapping everything into there. So I went full, like, you know, protection, Protection zone. All right.

[Mike]

This show is brought to you by Verizon.

[Jason]

Yeah, well, Nook. I mean, that's just the nature of all of those.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Jason]

Geek Squad brought it to mind because if you are older and you go in and you're like, I need my computer fixed. I mean, that's where they make the money.

[Andy]

Yeah. Look, I worked at a T Mobile before we did this, and I'd be so mad at you right now. That's my sale, man.

[Jason]

Yeah. I think some of the people in the store knew what I was doing. Yeah. So there you go. Let's kick it off.

[Andy]

Would you rather.

[Jason]

Tom from the website writes in, says, would you rather have to walk, drive and fly everywhere as you do now, but when you arrive, no time has passed since you left? That, that would be cool.

[Andy]

Okay.

[Jason]

Or be able to teleport anywhere. But when you arrive, three times the amount of time has passed as if you had traveled.

[Mike]

Typically.

[Andy]

Interesting.

[Jason]

So a flight from here to California.

[Andy]

Is an hour and a half.

[Jason]

An hour and a half. So four and a half hours would go by. But you've transported there.

[Mike]

But so you don't feel the four.

[Jason]

And a half hours.

[Andy]

No. Right.

[Jason]

You're instantly there.

[Andy]

It's just the time of day.

[Jason]

It's like, like the space travel thing where you people. What is the movie? Interstellar sleep. Interstellar where like they were on that. Oh the water planet and all of that time passed. So another example, let's think you go to, from here to New York, six hours, five hours. So it's a 15 hour. Now see a lot of the times when we travel, I think we all consider it a travel day.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Jason]

And so losing that time, that's not the bigger concern.

[Mike]

The issue is, oh, you're able to. So you don't have to teleport. Because I was thinking like, well now if instead of, instead of driving, which takes me about 20 minutes to get here now in the morning, I have to leave an hour early.

[Jason]

You do have to leave an hour early but you're here immediately.

[Mike]

Yes, that's it.

[Jason]

See, those ones are interesting.

[Andy]

Yeah. The day, the day to day is more interesting because when it comes to like the travel days or whatever, there's no disadvantage to the three times the travel. You're just going to plan the time. You leave three times earlier. It's like, oh, instead of having it take all day, I'm just going to go at night or whatever and then boom, bam, it's morning. You know, you could, you would adjust but yeah.

[Jason]

18. How long does it take to get to Australia?

[Mike]

It's like a 16 hour.

[Jason]

So you're talking almost two days.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jason]

Now this isn't just would you like this or not? This is also the other existence is you do all your travel like you do now, but when you get there, no time at all is passed. Oh, so like you leave for Australia and you, you basically you're like for example, let's say right now it's about noon. Let's say you see on, you see at one o' clock in Australia there's a really good rugby game that you want to Go to. You could get there, right?

[Andy]

Yeah. I mean, you got a book. I know, but I know what you're saying. That's why.

[Jason]

I mean, I said an hour, but.

[Andy]

Yeah, you gave a little bit of.

[Jason]

Yeah, but I mean, like, you want to get dinner in France right now, you could do it.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Five hours from now. Because travel's instant, right.

[Andy]

But you still.

[Mike]

Time.

[Andy]

Still got pay for that travel. Travel to France.

[Jason]

Oh, yeah. You don't have to pay for teleportation, huh?

[Andy]

No. No, you don't. If you could teleport. That's. That's me.

[Jason]

That's no ticket. Now, can you bring people with you on a teleportation?

[Mike]

I was just gonna ask, what are the teleportation rules? Because it's. If they're touching you, it's fuzzy, but yeah, some canon has, like, if you are holding the. If you are physically in contact with that person, they go through whatever realm or.

[Jason]

Seems like an important thing to answer because you being able to tell by your children.

[Mike]

Link hands. Now we can let go. All right, kids, see ya.

[Jason]

Well, that means you could go somewhere and come back and no time has passed, essentially.

[Mike]

Yeah, if. Well, you have to drive there.

[Jason]

Well, yeah, but like, you, like if you wanted to go get a baguette from France and then bring it back, it might take you like half an hour.

[Mike]

A nice thing is basically, you're never late anywhere, right?

[Andy]

Never.

[Mike]

Because you're like, you just got to.

[Andy]

Leave by the time you got to be there.

[Jason]

You just have to commit to leaving. Yeah.

[Mike]

Which. That's. That's pretty nice. You don't have to do the text. Where are you? Oh, I'm almost there as I'm getting into my car.

[Jason]

You would never have to rush, correct.

[Andy]

Well, I mean, you still have the time event starts, but you would gain more time back.

[Jason]

But I'm saying, like right now, if you're late for something, you would get on the road and drive fast to try to make it right. The second you commit to driving, you're going to arrive instantly from that moment.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Jason]

You could drive five miles an hour if you wanted.

[Andy]

You could cause many accidents.

[Jason]

Would you take advantage of that loophole? Let's say you were going to go to New York and you're like, I could just walk.

[Mike]

No, because I'd be very tired.

[Andy]

And you get more time in the end here.

[Jason]

Yeah. Let's make a decision.

[Andy]

The one thing that I think is being lost is that one of these comes with freaking teleportation. Like, of course I'M taking whatever the hardships are that I can teleport. I'm taking that.

[Mike]

What if it. Okay, but no family.

[Jason]

Perfect.

[Andy]

I mean, now we're talking.

[Jason]

Now does that mean if you have to go to the bathroom. Oh, yeah, you would teleport there. But then like people think you're gone three times as long.

[Andy]

That's right.

[Jason]

See, that'd be a problem for you.

[Andy]

Yeah, that'd be a 30 minute. That'd be a 30 minute poop ski.

[Jason]

All right, I guess I'll go 30. Come on, come on.

[Mike]

That's a 90 minute.

[Jason]

That's a 90. Jen from Patreon, would you rather have the ability to turn any surface into a trampoline or make any body of water solid ground for you to walk on? How practical is that?

[Mike]

Look, you're never going to slip in a puddle again.

[Jason]

I have never slept in a puddle before.

[Mike]

People do. It's rampant through the country.

[Andy]

I don't.

[Jason]

Oh, you talk about the puddlers.

[Mike]

Yeah. People slipping in puddles all over the place. You've never like I've slipped. Yeah. I mean, maybe you've never, like you didn't fully eat it.

[Jason]

Right.

[Mike]

But you've had that moment where you, you're you hydroplane and you go, oh, no, no.

[Jason]

But you're still gonna have that happen because you have to make a decision to make. So, like, you see puddles and you're like, well, it's solid. So solid, solid, solid. I mean, you have to premeditate it.

[Mike]

All right, all right. I'm trying to find something good about it.

[Jason]

Well, if you lived in a state, like around a bunch of lakes, it would also be impractical and not helpful.

[Andy]

There's no purpose to turning the water into solid ground to walk on.

[Jason]

Let's think of that.

[Andy]

Here's the purpose. Oh, man. I really have to cross this river. So in that situation, thank goodness I have this power where I can walk across this river. Personally, I haven't needed to ford, ford, ford a river.

[Jason]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mike]

What about if you were Oregon Trail style?

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Would this have helped the people on the Titanic?

[Mike]

Oh, yeah. Well, at least one of them. Whoever had the superpower.

[Jason]

Okay. But I mean, that would probably benefit everybody around them, right?

[Andy]

Not the people already in the water there.

[Jason]

Oh, no.

[Mike]

Oh, yeah. Now they're.

[Jason]

No, they're halved sound effects for it. We should be ashamed of ourselves.

[Andy]

Yeah. Well, this is an audio production and I wanted to make sure that they understood that, you know, the ice would.

[Mike]

Trap them, would sever them.

[Jason]

Oh, they'd be if you were lost at sea and you're in that, like, raft scenario, and then everything's just solid. You've got a long way to walk. Like you're dying.

[Andy]

Oh, you're still dead.

[Jason]

You're dying. With no chance of getting the fish.

[Andy]

Under the ice, under the solid ground, you've also killed all the fish.

[Jason]

It is solid ground.

[Mike]

How far down does the ground go?

[Jason]

I just hear it.

[Andy]

Oh, really?

[Mike]

Yeah, it's just so. It's the.

[Andy]

It's like, now you're sinking again. You're on solid ground.

[Jason]

That's just sinking, you know, it's superpower.

[Mike]

Okay, what was the other power? Oh, the trampoline.

[Andy]

Far more relevant.

[Mike]

That's awesome.

[Jason]

I could.

[Mike]

I will. I will dunk a basket.

[Jason]

I don't think you're going to use that very often.

[Andy]

Oh, I'm going to use it all.

[Jason]

Do you know what trampolines are for? For people over 30. Way different ways to throw your back out. That's all they are.

[Andy]

Yeah, there are ways to throw.

[Jason]

I dare you to not get hurt on a trampoline.

[Andy]

I'm not going to make me be on the trampoline. I'm going to make other people be on the trampoline. Any surface I want.

[Jason]

You're going to make other people have to be on a trampoline?

[Andy]

Yeah. You know where your monitor is right now? On your desk. Your desk surface is a trampoline now. Yeah.

[Jason]

You want the power to knock my desk over?

[Mike]

It's just gonna sit there, though.

[Jason]

You have the power to ruin my desk right now?

[Andy]

No, I don't have the power to make your desk into a trampoline.

[Jason]

Wait, the desk becomes a trampoline?

[Andy]

The surface. The surface of your desk.

[Jason]

That is one of the dumbest things I've ever heard.

[Andy]

Look, I didn't come up with the question.

[Mike]

Now, we may have a loophole here, because it's any surface. Like, are we considering, like, the surface of the water? Is that a surface? So if I go trampoline, can I turn the water into a trampoline?

[Jason]

Can you go back and forth? So you trampoline, then you move it again.

[Mike]

Gnarly cannonballs.

[Andy]

Let's take that one.

[Mike]

I'm just saying, like, why turn it into ground when I could turn it into trampoline?

[Jason]

I might be able to get back from, like, that whole raft stuck at sea. If the ground was trampoline and I could bounce my back my way back to shore.

[Andy]

I think you could bounce faster. Farther than walking.

[Jason]

Hmm. This one's dumb.

[Andy]

I would agree with that.

[Jason]

First time ever. Dumb question on this show. Russ, from the website, would you rather be able to conjure any fictional vehicle into existence as your vehicle for life or summon any fictional person or creature as a companion for a day?

[Mike]

Any fictional vehicle. So we're saying, like, we get the. The time machine, the DeLorean, the Millennium Falcon. Yeah.

[Andy]

Okay.

[Jason]

What about that?

[Mike]

So we're forgetting space travel in here. That's pretty cool.

[Andy]

You care more about space travel than time travel. Well, quick aside. Okay. What would you pick?

[Jason]

Space travel or travel?

[Andy]

Yeah. Time travel or space travel.

[Mike]

So I don't know if it's been brought up on this show, but time travel has to also include space travel.

[Jason]

Real time travel does. Yes, Real time travel. You can only go into the future.

[Mike]

Well, no, you can't even go into the future.

[Jason]

I'm saying with space travel.

[Mike]

Yes, yes.

[Jason]

Yeah. Space travel allows you to do that.

[Mike]

Because if you're like, I want to be here in 60 years time. Well, if I do that, the Earth will no longer be where I am standing because the Earth is moving through the universe. So you have to have some sort of space travel built into time travel.

[Andy]

Sure. But the DeLorean already has that, obviously. So I think we're good on the DeLorean.

[Jason]

From what I. My research, and it's just about.

[Mike]

It's very hard. It's very small.

[Jason]

My research is about three hours worth, and from what I see, it has a tremendous amount of potential issues that you will have to resolve in a desperate fashion to return to where you want to be.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Like, it doesn't ever go smoothly. You don't just zip around time. You might, I don't know, pop the gas tank. In an era when you can't get gas, for instance, or, you know, have.

[Mike]

Any kind of car problem that I will not be able to fix because I can't fix cars.

[Andy]

I have a flat tire. I'm stuck in the 1800s.

[Mike]

We're doomed.

[Jason]

That would really. Yeah, that would be a problem.

[Andy]

I mean, the truth is, if you got a flat tire in the 1800s.

[Mike]

Can you get to 88 miles? No, you're toast.

[Andy]

I mean, you need to put it on a train.

[Jason]

I need to put it on a.

[Mike]

Train, but roll it down a hill. Also, the deloreans, these are. I mean, these were cars built in the 80s. These are not cars built for the modern man.

[Jason]

We can't fit.

[Mike]

No, no, no. We've all sat in a DeLorean.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And I. I Can't imagine having to drive that.

[Jason]

There's actually a ton of people with deloreans stuck in the past right now that are just too tall.

[Andy]

Just couldn't get back.

[Jason]

They couldn't get back.

[Mike]

I hurt my back.

[Jason]

Abraham Lincoln wanted to come to the future. He can't. It's impossible.

[Mike]

Just got a ride with the door open.

[Jason]

The vehicle you get for life, the fictional person or creatures that could pain you for a day. You know, it's hard when you conditionalize it to a day. Like, is there anybody that you could get so much value from in one day?

[Andy]

I think.

[Jason]

I mean, you could have a dragon for a day, Right? It's a fictional companion.

[Andy]

Yeah. You could cause a lot of mayhem with that. I feel like we should level this and have it just be this. Be the same for both, because I don't. I don't think it's unfair to have both forever.

[Jason]

Okay, so a fictional person or creature as a companion for life or this vehicle. But I think the vehicle. Like, if you take away time travel in the DeLorean. Are you even considering that one?

[Andy]

If you take away time travel, I could just go buy a DeLorean. No, I'm not considering that.

[Jason]

No, I didn't say from the DeLorean.

[Mike]

Oh, I just. I was hearing.

[Jason]

I said, like, time Travel and the DeLorean as that one fictional vehicle. If that's removed and you're just thinking of the other practical. Oh, that's what I meant.

[Andy]

There's so many vehicles that I would choose over any fictional character.

[Mike]

You have to figure out how to drive it. I don't know that it's going to come with a manual.

[Jason]

Yeah, they're always flipping switches in those things.

[Mike]

And there's always, like, spaceships. You got a bunch of people in there.

[Jason]

If you put me in the Millennium Falcon, I ain't never taking off.

[Mike]

No, I'm not even. We're not even getting it on. Whereas if you get in, how do you open the door?

[Andy]

Where's the door? How do you.

[Jason]

Now, you could get that answer from your companion, a Wookiee that you bring, but you wouldn't have the.

[Andy]

I would like to believe that if I got the Millennium Falcon, it's gonna be humongous. But I get a user manual. It exists. So I can.

[Jason]

I'm taking the person. These people will build me these things. I'll take a companion that will be able to. I mean, I can take Doc Brown with me, and then we're good. He did it once.

[Mike]

He could do it he could do it again and then you can say Doc, like, let's go. Like a midsize sedan.

[Andy]

Absolutely.

[Mike]

I know, I understand you want to do it with style Time machine, but.

[Jason]

It'S like, out of a Sonata.

[Mike]

I need a car that's reliable and I fit.

[Andy]

Yeah. Most importantly, I gotta fit in this vehicle. Also, I'd like to take some more people with me. Can we make it a van? That's right.

[Mike]

Yeah. I mean, yeah. Doc Brown was like, I'm not time traveling with anybody. Does a DeLorean even have a back seat?

[Jason]

Not real.

[Andy]

No, it doesn't.

[Mike]

Here's a functional backseat.

[Jason]

I don't know.

[Andy]

Here's the problem I have with the character. And maybe this will answer it because you said, okay, you will bring Doc Brown back and so he can make you a DeLorean. He can. But just bringing him into your life, why would he do that? Like, that doesn't.

[Jason]

Like, he's your companion. According to the question.

[Andy]

I know, but I'm just saying, like, if I chose Dumbledore, does he just do anything I tell him to do? Like, hey, I want you if you need it.

[Mike]

He.

[Andy]

My house.

[Jason]

Yeah, he's help you out.

[Mike]

He's a companion. He's a traveling guy.

[Jason]

He wouldn't do the house thing if he needed to teach you. Like, I don't know, self discipline and stuff. Like, he's your companion. He's a friend. Okay, so I'm going to go with the companion. You guys, you going with the vehicles?

[Mike]

If I get a manual and I can. What about, like, the Death Star?

[Andy]

That's what I was thinking. Bigger. I was thinking, like, the Borg, you know, some. Yeah, the Death Star. I mean, come on.

[Jason]

Jason's alone in the Borg spaceship in the middle of space, and it's giant. I regret my choice.

[Andy]

It's freezing in here. So I know how to turn this on.

[Jason]

I am. Where am I going? Can you imagine when the starship Enterprise comes and hails that Borg ship and there's just chasing. And he's all sweaty and he's just looking at the screen going, guys, I'm alone in here.

[Mike]

I haven't slept in days.

[Jason]

Help me. I made a wish on a podcast.

[Mike]

But also, resistance is futile. But seriously, take me out of here.

[Andy]

There's got to be a better vehicle. That's like a one person vehicle. Like.

[Mike]

Like the. Like the Boba Fett.

[Andy]

Yeah, sure. Or the Bat Wing. Is that what it's called?

[Mike]

Yeah, the Batman.

[Jason]

I honestly thought of the Batwing with this question.

[Mike]

The Batwing in the original Batman.

[Jason]

That's the one.

[Mike]

That was so cool.

[Jason]

It was so cool. So good at, like, cutting balloon strings.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Jason]

What?

[Mike]

Why was that built into the ship?

[Jason]

I know.

[Mike]

What point was he like? You know what? The front of my fighter jet needs some industrial scissors. There may come a time I want.

[Andy]

My ship to have a bayonet in case I wanted to really ram something.

[Jason]

Oh, it was cool though, man.

[Mike]

I've never questioned that moment until now. And it makes no sense. No. If there's ever a poisonous balloon, what.

[Andy]

Could you do with the magic school bus?

[Jason]

Now that would be. Dude, that would be great. Okay, you can get bigger, smaller. Now you have to go on an adventure with it.

[Andy]

I only want adventures. This is great. But I know how to drive a school bus.

[Jason]

He just takes kids to school. They're all waiting for an adventure. He's like, get off.

[Mike]

The biggest adventure of all life, children. See ya.

[Andy]

See ya. I'll be back at 3pm Mr. Frizzle's.

[Jason]

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[Mike]

Well, no, but after you say, oh.

[Andy]

No, the rind has to be the butt.

[Jason]

What?

[Andy]

Yeah, like, I think, like where it comes together, you know, you got the peel of the orange, but where it comes together at the little point, you're.

[Jason]

Saying there's a fruit butt.

[Andy]

Yeah, I'm saying there's a fruit butt.

[Mike]

I mean, I know exactly what part.

[Andy]

You know what I'm talking about. You start peeling it at the butt.

[Jason]

I think a rind. I think that's what it is. An orange peel is a rind. All of it.

[Mike]

Once you take it off, then it becomes the rind.

[Jason]

Well, it's a peel until it's removed. Then you leave the. No, because you can leave orange peels around.

[Mike]

Oh, gosh.

[Andy]

I'm telling you, the rind is the butt part of the peel. That's how I view it.

[Jason]

Do you think that some of it's peel and some of it's rind?

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Where do you find. Where does it transition into rind?

[Andy]

Is it connected to the butt?

[Jason]

Well, it's all connected to the butt.

[Andy]

Not once you rip it off.

[Mike]

That's what we were saying that it becomes the rind, then it becomes peels.

[Andy]

And there's a piece that's a rind.

[Jason]

That'S got a fruit butt. I've never even heard of a fruit butt.

[Andy]

Oh, yes, you have. Yeah, you've the bananas.

[Jason]

Now banana. It's a peel. You slip on a banana peel, right? Nobody says, hey, throw that rind over here, and he'll slip on it.

[Mike]

So does it have to be a citrus?

[Jason]

I think it has to be citrus. I think a rind can only exist in the world of citrus.

[Andy]

What's the watermelon? Is that a watermelon? Is that the rind?

[Mike]

That's a rind.

[Andy]

That's a rind, right?

[Jason]

That's citrus.

[Andy]

What about citrus, you fool?

[Jason]

I don't think it's a watermelon rind. Because you don't. There's no peel.

[Mike]

Yeah, it's a watermelon.

[Jason]

No, you can't. You have to be able to peel it off. You can't peel a watermelon.

[Andy]

I think oranges don't have rinds.

[Mike]

But you eat it down to the rind.

[Andy]

I think a watermelon has a rind.

[Jason]

You eat it down to the.

[Mike]

Now, is the rind. Is it the green part or the white part?

[Jason]

No, the white part. The white and the green.

[Andy]

Yeah, I think it's all of it.

[Jason]

The green's part of the shell.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Now the skin of a fruit, I mean, there's no skin.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Like a grape has.

[Jason]

Oh, crap.

[Andy]

If it's.

[Jason]

You gotta be able to bite through it. The skin. You can bite through it.

[Andy]

You can always bite through.

[Jason]

How about apple peels? Cause they say peeling an apple. Which you can also eat.

[Andy]

Yeah, but it's also the skin. It's definitely skin.

[Jason]

The apple skin. Yeah.

[Andy]

Okay.

[Jason]

All right.

[Andy]

Okay.

[Jason]

Potato skin.

[Andy]

Look, I've got it.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Jason]

They're called potato skins. Not you want some fried potato rinds? Oh, wait, they do call it that.

[Mike]

Oh, man.

[Jason]

Don't they? Pork rinds. Pork rinds. What's a pork rind?

[Mike]

Oh, man.

[Andy]

That's the butt of the pork. The pig butt.

[Mike]

I thought it was the skin of the pig.

[Andy]

So there's a rind skin peel situation.

[Jason]

What is the difference between a rind appeal and some skin?

[Andy]

Okay, so skin is obviously thin.

[Jason]

Skin is thin.

[Andy]

Rind is the thickest.

[Jason]

Behind. Rind is behind.

[Andy]

Skin is thin, Rind is the thickest. The skin is the thinnest. And anything that you can remove by itself becomes a peel.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Andy]

Like you could peel an apple. You could peel the skin of an apple.

[Mike]

You could peel it.

[Andy]

You don't peel a rind of a watermelon.

[Mike]

No. Right.

[Andy]

So that never becomes the peel.

[Jason]

Yeah, but you peel an orange and you're telling me that they're both.

[Andy]

Yeah, because you can peel.

[Jason]

All right, I'm cheating. A rind is a thick, hard and tough outer covering.

[Mike]

So far, so good.

[Jason]

That occurs naturally on fruits, plants, animals and cheeses. Rinds are usually inedible, Right?

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Oh. The edibility and protect the fruit of the plant.

[Mike]

Okay, but what about appeal?

[Jason]

Especially citrus fruit?

[Andy]

Okay.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Mike]

So. All right. We did all right there.

[Andy]

Yeah. I feel like we crushed that.

[Jason]

Interesting.

[Mike]

But what is appeal?

[Jason]

Also the definition of appeal. You're gonna love this. Also known as a rind or skin. This is a trick question.

[Andy]

No, I said because it's. If you can remove It. Then it's. Then it's appeal.

[Jason]

It's not what you said because you're.

[Mike]

This was a trap.

[Jason]

Yeah. Because the peel is also known as a rhinor skin, which guess what that also means. A rhinor skin is known as a peel, which means that they're all the same.

[Andy]

No.

[Jason]

Yeah, that's what that says.

[Andy]

No outer picture works in one direction. Oh, that doesn't mean Orion is skin.

[Jason]

Yes, it does.

[Andy]

I don't believe.

[Jason]

I mean, that's what the words say. If you throw them out, then it doesn't.

[Mike]

I've removed myself.

[Jason]

Okay. Dumb question.

[Mike]

I don't know what's going on.

[Jason]

They're all the same. What's the difference between a graveyard and a cemetery? Is it spooky level? Is the fence dilapidated In a graveyard but not a cemetery?

[Andy]

Yeah, cemetery is where you go to visit loved ones, to, you know, to bury loved ones.

[Jason]

Okay.

[Andy]

You know, the cemetery is, you know, respectable.

[Mike]

You have like crypts in a cemetery. Right.

[Andy]

A cemetery is like. Unfortunately, we've all been to a cemetery.

[Mike]

Oh. Fortunately. I don't know why. It's.

[Andy]

I'm just saying, like, you know, that's where human beings.

[Jason]

Trust me, they deserve it.

[Andy]

That's where human beings go. I've personally never been to a graveyard.

[Jason]

I think a graveyard can only be a place that no one would visit because they don't even know who's there.

[Andy]

Exactly. Right. Also definitely haunted. Without a doubt.

[Jason]

That is required. A graveyard is haunted. It starts haunted.

[Andy]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jason]

A cemetery, can it ever become a graveyard if no family members exist for the people and visit in a certain.

[Mike]

Amount of years once the ghosts move in.

[Andy]

Yeah, yeah, I think so.

[Jason]

And the ghost stay away because people visit.

[Andy]

Right, exactly right. But if you graveyards were abandoned.

[Jason]

Yes.

[Andy]

You know, they might have started as a cemetery, but they become a haunted, abandoned graveyard.

[Mike]

They become abandoned because they're full or just lost into time.

[Andy]

Lost into time.

[Jason]

Once three years passes and no family members visit any of the graves, the ghosts feel like they can come out, hang out, haunt it and everything. Because they love that.

[Andy]

Yeah. And then someone stumbles upon a graveyard. You're not like, hey, you want to go to the graveyard?

[Mike]

Can you?

[Andy]

Oh, yeah, where am I? Oh, no, In a graveyard.

[Jason]

You were on the way home and you accidentally.

[Mike]

What about zombies?

[Jason]

Zombies?

[Andy]

They come out of a graveyard.

[Jason]

They come out of a graveyard.

[Mike]

They can't come out of the cemetery.

[Andy]

Correct. If they come out of a cemetery, it is instantly a graveyard.

[Mike]

Ooh, that's a loss of value.

[Jason]

That's what.

[Andy]

Right.

[Jason]

Is that the first thing that happens at the three year mark? 1 hand comes up and releases the ghost.

[Mike]

I told you to visit me.

[Jason]

What is the difference between a goblet, a chalice and a grail?

[Andy]

Okay, one of these is holy.

[Mike]

Okay, the grail.

[Andy]

The grail.

[Mike]

Which one?

[Andy]

The holy goblet.

[Mike]

Choose wisely.

[Jason]

The chalice.

[Mike]

Oh, it's gotta be fancy.

[Jason]

I feel like a chalice holds more.

[Mike]

Does it?

[Jason]

Yeah. You could have cereal out of a chalice.

[Andy]

Really?

[Jason]

You certainly can.

[Andy]

You certainly could. In a chalice.

[Jason]

A goblet. Does a goblet have some jewels?

[Andy]

Jewels.

[Jason]

Jewels.

[Mike]

Okay. I thought a chalice was. Does a chalice have smooth gold? So goblet.

[Jason]

Wait. Goblet, cereal.

[Mike]

Fire. Right. Harry Potter's A Goblet of Fire.

[Andy]

What does it look like? It's an ornate, decorative. Almost looks like a trophy.

[Mike]

Does it have handles?

[Andy]

It does in that one. It does have handles.

[Jason]

Yeah, it does. The goblet.

[Andy]

Okay.

[Jason]

Yeah. And they. What do they give away when you win a cup for something?

[Andy]

They give away a cup. It's called a cup.

[Jason]

Yeah, baby.

[Mike]

Like a championship cup. It's not the world chalice.

[Jason]

For soccer. Yeah. And they won the world Chalice.

[Mike]

It's a cup. Right.

[Jason]

Never mind about the cup then.

[Andy]

I definitely think that a goblet has to have some kind of jewel. If you don't have like.

[Mike]

So what does a decorative have? Because I thought a chalice would have jewels.

[Jason]

I've always thought a chalice had just a. Just a bigger opening.

[Andy]

I've never heard of chalice. When I hear chalice, I'm thinking of some, like, something you wear. And so I'm.

[Jason]

I think maybe those two are pretty synonymous. A chalice and a goblet. Those could just be, you know, it could be like the whole east coast, west coast calls the same thing, something different.

[Andy]

Okay, well, but we're here to define it.

[Jason]

No, I know, I know, but I.

[Andy]

I really feel like a goblet is fancier.

[Jason]

If you want wine, what do you want to drink it out of these three chalice. A goblet or a grail?

[Andy]

Well, definitely the grail.

[Jason]

Because of eternal life.

[Andy]

Because of eternal life and youth.

[Jason]

But we know that grails can be like, if it doesn't give you eternal life, it could be very, like. It could just look like a cup.

[Andy]

Yeah. I think there is only one grail. I mean, am I wrong? Are there lots of grails out there?

[Jason]

I don't know.

[Andy]

I think there's just The Holy Grail. And you're grabbing chalices and goblets, hoping it's the one.

[Mike]

It's all willy nilly.

[Andy]

Yeah, but then there's something.

[Jason]

Is one of them is a grail one. It's one of one.

[Andy]

One of all of them. Yep.

[Jason]

And the goblets and chalices, they're just competing.

[Andy]

They're competing. Chalices you can eat cereal out of. Goblets are decorative.

[Jason]

This one's important to me. What is the difference between nodding off, drifting off, dozing off, and falling asleep? Well, I mean, you know what falling.

[Mike]

Asleep is, so nodding off. Your head is definitely falling forward because.

[Andy]

You'Re in a seated position.

[Mike]

It is a Nod movement.

[Andy]

Well, 100%.

[Mike]

You have to have one singular nod.

[Jason]

Now, can you go. You can go from nodding off to fully asleep, or do you always. Do you always wake up at the last moment because your head is falling.

[Andy]

Forward, so you usually will wake up, but you clarified something there. It is always forward. Nodding off is forward. You can't nod off backwards.

[Mike]

That's drifting, right?

[Andy]

Yeah, that's right. You're drifting off. If your head falls backwards.

[Jason]

Now is dozing. Are you in a prone position like you were gonna. Like you laid on a bed, you didn't plan on sleeping.

[Andy]

Exactly.

[Jason]

And then you start going, oh, yeah.

[Andy]

Your head doesn't move anywhere. Your head stays exactly where it was. You just weren't expecting this.

[Mike]

Yeah. And when people ask if you were asleep, you respond, definitely not.

[Andy]

Of course not.

[Mike]

No.

[Jason]

I just don't.

[Andy]

I've been awake the whole time, is what you say. And they say, yeah, you were snoring for five minutes. I said, no, I was awake. I remember every second.

[Mike]

Just a little dozing.

[Andy]

Just dozed off.

[Jason]

How often.

[Mike]

Why do we do that? I do this all the time.

[Jason]

You mean like it's a bad thing to have fallen asleep? You're like, never.

[Andy]

I would never do that.

[Mike]

I think because you feel attacked.

[Jason]

You feel attacked.

[Mike]

You've fallen asleep. You're like, no. You're like, yes, I was.

[Jason]

It does make sense, though.

[Andy]

I was so sleepy, I got caught.

[Jason]

Because in the middle.

[Andy]

Guilty as charged.

[Jason]

Because you know you're in trouble if you nap in the middle. Middle of the day. You can't just say, I'm gonna go take a nap. Enjoy the kids, honey.

[Mike]

But I've even had it, like, watching the late night show with the wife.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Andy]

An acceptable time to fall asleep.

[Mike]

It's pretty normal. Oh, it ain't acceptable in my house. The sun is gone. It is my Body would be very happy to go to sleep. I'm making myself stay up, but then I doze off and then I'm attacked. For what were you. You fell asleep.

[Jason]

Read the plot back. Read the plot back to me. What was the. What did she say?

[Mike]

So let's look. This is. We use our platform, trying to normalize. No sleeping. Use our platform of don't attack someone if they fall asleep.

[Andy]

That's hard to. It's hard to follow that because I've been on the other side. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, did you fall asleep? You know what I mean?

[Jason]

We were watching that show.

[Mike]

What are you, a baby?

[Andy]

I would never have done that.

[Jason]

Here's what's really crazy. And I don't know how to replicate it. If you could figure it out for a device. But to me, the sweetest sleep ever is the illegal sleep. Oh, it's the sleep stolen. It's when I'm. It is so sweet. It's the sleep. When I am watching the show and I go. I decide I'm gonna watch it sideways. I'm gonna get the pillow.

[Andy]

Catch me.

[Jason]

I'm really into the show and I have lied so many times. So many times. I've been like. She's like, are you still awake? And I'm like, yeah. And the last.

[Mike]

Yeah, totally.

[Jason]

But then the next night, wanna, like.

[Mike]

Work out or something? Like, I'm ready to go for a new day.

[Jason]

The next night, we're watching the same show. The next episode.

[Andy]

You don't really.

[Jason]

How did he get over there? What happened to that guy? She goes, I thought you were awake. I was like, I know I was.

[Andy]

But I just forgot.

[Mike]

I'm just trying to make sure that.

[Andy]

You know, I was awake. I just have a bad memory.

[Mike]

Yeah, you remember what happened?

[Andy]

I'll be like, oh, yeah, I remember. I remember. Just go back to the middle of the last episode. I loved it so much.

[Mike]

Let's just start that one over.

[Jason]

Sometimes I'll sneak in early and watch a little bit of the last one and she'll walk in and I'll go, oh, just refreshing.

[Andy]

So funny. And it's so true. You do your own previously? Yeah, I do my own previously. Previously on Remind Me.

[Mike]

I just need a quick 30 minute catch up.

[Jason]

There should be two previously. One is the regular one and one's the. Did you miss the last half?

[Andy]

And then it just goes to the last half of the previous episode.

[Jason]

It just goes to. Did you doze off? Click here.

[Andy]

Doze Preview or Previously on. Oh my goodness.

[Jason]

Oh, Brooksy does this happen in your house? Do you guys ever doze off in the middle of a show? No, we don't shame each other.

[Andy]

We just stop.

[Mike]

Look at us.

[Jason]

They're not tired enough over there without the kids. Dozing's for people with kids, man.

[Andy]

Yeah, I don't know if you can doze off without kids.

[Jason]

No, that's just called a nice nap.

[Andy]

Yeah. The middle of the afternoon, they're not ashamed. They're like, I was tired, I took a nap. We're trying to act all strong, like, I'll never be tired.

[Jason]

It's the guilt. I should be parenting, but I'm asleep.

[Mike]

Oh, man. Oh, goodness.

[Jason]

So there you go. That's your answer.

[Mike]

And I would have slept more if you would have just let me go to sleep.

[Jason]

Oh, but I was awake.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Mike]

I mean, I wasn't asleep. I was awake watching the show.

[Jason]

I could sleep with my eyes open, man, that'd be so cool.

[Andy]

Oh.

[Jason]

All right. Well, there you go. We're moving on to the draft. You got your answer.

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[Jason]

Hey, Fidelity.

[Andy]

How can I remember to invest every month?

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[Jason]

Oh, that sounds easier than I thought.

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[Jason]

Yeah, I do. Now, where did I put my keys?

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[Andy]

The Spitballers Draft.

[Jason]

I have missed half of every show I've ever watched. You.

[Mike]

You never finish these things? Nothing's ever resolved?

[Andy]

No.

[Jason]

Look at all the plot holes. They really jumped the shark when they went from those guys being alive to none of them.

[Andy]

I can't believe they didn't end up together. They just stayed apart. And then. Oh, man.

[Mike]

When's Ben coming back to the show? Ben died.

[Jason]

They needed Cliff Notes for movies. Five minutes. All right. We are drafting extinct technology. And this is a fun one. I didn't realize how many things would be on my list. From days gone by. We talked about it at the top. Things were invented. They changed the world. And then they went away. And oftentimes people romanticize the things of old until they go use them again. I had a friend who kind of despised the smartphone world because just notifications and technology. And so he just told me this, like, last week.

[Mike]

He.

[Jason]

He's like, I just can't take the texts and everything. And, like, people shouldn't be able to get ahold of me every second. So he went and he got a flip phone and did the flip phone thing with conviction. And then about three or four days in, he had to go to a softball game, and the guy was texting the address to everybody, and he had to print out on MapQuest. And he's driving around in the car holding a printout going, this ain't gonna work in my life. And went back to a smartphone in a week.

[Mike]

MapQuest still.

[Jason]

I think it's still out there.

[Andy]

Yeah. Oh, let me take that off my list.

[Jason]

I've got Mike. The first big.

[Mike]

Yeah, this one was near and dear to my heart. Got to grow up with the previous version of the tech. But when we changed to the compact disc, this was everything. Like the.

[Andy]

You.

[Mike]

If you wanted to bring your music collection with you, you had to bring a gigantic binder of CDs, which was now always at risk of being stolen. And then you have no more music.

[Jason]

So the pick is cd.

[Mike]

I am going to take the compact disc.

[Jason]

That's the. Yeah, I always remember the. Speaking of businesses that are defunct now, but the visor in your car, you know, the sun visor, and you'd hook that CD thing up and you could slip like 10, 12 CD. CDs were being stolen left and right across this country.

[Andy]

Yeah, CDs is a great pick. It's a great pick. It is perfect from our upbringing where we were past the cassette tapes.

[Mike]

I mean, that's what. Like, I did a lot of cassette tapes when I. When I was younger. And like, getting into the CDs where. Wait, I can just go to the next song.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Mike]

This is amazing.

[Andy]

And this is exactly what I'm doing. You're the music man, I'm a movie man. So for me, it's the exact same thing. These are technically still around. Sure, if you're driving in your car, maybe, but DVDs are.

[Mike]

Oh, you just. You didn't even go further back.

[Andy]

I didn't go for VHS because.

[Jason]

Don't forget to rewind.

[Andy]

Yeah. Because DVDs are the same thing. It was incredible technology when it came out.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Andy]

So much better looking. You, you know, you don't have to rewind. It's not gonna degrade over time, it'll last forever. Lies, scratches. But I mean, it was so incredible. And then because it's going to last forever and this technology will never go away, you collect them, you know, you just buy them and you have bookshelves, literal 8 foot tall, you know, 5ft wide, bookshelves filled. You sort them alphabetically.

[Jason]

Sections of the aforementioned Best Buy that was just dedicated to cabinets.

[Mike]

Yeah. How do I store all of these DVDs?

[Andy]

Yeah. And I mean, I loved having a DVD collection.

[Jason]

I was going to say does that. You know, we talk about everything gets better. But DVDs, you'd go to Blockbuster to browse them and then you'd store them and you could display them. Now everything's digital, like.

[Andy]

Well, and you don't even buy them anymore. Like you still can. You can buy them so you don't have to rent them again, which is usually just a bad investment. But you know, it's like now you don't really re. Watch movies quite as often because there's.

[Jason]

Too much to watch.

[Andy]

Well, yeah, you can watch anything. You don't have to rewatch. But it used to be like, here's what I have.

[Jason]

Yeah, right.

[Andy]

Yeah, I've got these 20. Which one do I want to watch?

[Mike]

All right.

[Andy]

Do you know what DVD stands for?

[Mike]

Digital video disc.

[Jason]

That's what I would have guessed.

[Andy]

Digital versatile disc.

[Jason]

Oh.

[Andy]

Which. It wasn't all that versatile.

[Mike]

Well, I mean it was versatile isn't like you can put. It doesn't have to be a. A playable movie. Like you can put a game on it, you can put files on it.

[Andy]

Sure.

[Mike]

But it's versatile.

[Andy]

Do that with CDs too. Yes.

[Jason]

All right, so you guys went with CDs, DVDs, you like things that are round.

[Andy]

Mm.

[Jason]

I guess, I guess I'm going to go with the technology that kind of. I don't know, it was like the first man on the moon of the Internet, so to speak.

[Andy]

Oh yeah.

[Jason]

And so I'm going to go with dial up modems.

[Andy]

Yeah, for sure.

[Jason]

An iconic sound.

[Mike]

Oh yeah.

[Jason]

And when someone's using it like a dying pet, your phone, your phone is used and you're dialing up and no one else can use the phone. So you've cut off contact your home. And I'll forever remember when I. When you signed up, you had to pick the number you'd dial.

[Andy]

Yes. Oh, I forgot about that.

[Jason]

And it was always like you picked a local number and I went to pick a number and I accidentally chose Alabama instead of Arizona where we Live, which meant for the entire month of Internet I was long distance calling.

[Andy]

Alabama long distance calling could also be one of these dead techs.

[Jason]

And the bill was very, very large for my father that month. But I will go with dial up modems to get first chance to get.

[Mike]

On the Internet is number two on my list.

[Jason]

And then I'm going to go with something a little bit more super useful. Some of it is just kind of that romanticized view of using it. But I'm gonna go with the typewriter. Oh yeah, I'm gonna go with the typewriter. The bridge between computers and handwritten items. The classic typewriter. We actually are of the age where we grew up with pre computers and I had a typewriter.

[Andy]

Yeah, I owned a typewriter. I was a little bit.

[Jason]

Did you ever use one?

[Mike]

Never. We were very futuristic.

[Jason]

The best part of a typewriter was that if you messed up, you would go back and you'd slip this little thin piece of white. Basically held white ink and you'd slip it in there and you'd type the same letter that you messed up and then it would punch the white onto that exact spot so you could rewrite.

[Mike]

How long did you have to wait for it to dry?

[Jason]

Oh, it wasn't like wet. It was almost like a dry. It was like a dry interesting powder that went onto there. But it was the typewriter. Typewriters then, they look cool. There's a lot of cool looking old typewriters.

[Andy]

They definitely looked cool. There was a bridge, a short lived.

[Mike]

Bridge that we also had electronic typewriters.

[Andy]

Yeah, the word processor. And it was like a computerized typewriter where you could just go back. But all it did, it only did one thing and that was put words, process words. But that thing was. The typewriter is gorgeous. You know what I mean?

[Jason]

Like it looks cool.

[Andy]

The word processor looked like a monster.

[Jason]

Yeah. You could put a typewriter in your house as like a decorative piece right now.

[Mike]

Yeah, for sure.

[Andy]

Okay. I know what I'm going to draft here because as soon as you said that you thought it like looked cool and you know, almost had some nostalgia and feelings and was very practical. I got worried you were going to draft this. I didn't think I'd draft this as high, but I want this. I saw one in real life. I saw one in the wild within the last year. I forget where we were. We were somewhere in California and it was just wild. And they used to be everywhere.

[Mike]

This is my pick.

[Andy]

Payphones.

[Mike]

It was legit my pick.

[Jason]

Yeah, I mean it's on my list, too.

[Andy]

Payphones were unfathomably important.

[Mike]

Every corner.

[Jason]

They were every movie theater, everywhere.

[Andy]

And you had to use them because you did. Cell phones didn't exist. So you couldn't call someone without a payphone when you were out of your house Unless you went and put a quarter in a payphone machine and new.

[Mike]

Memorized people's phone number or you call collect.

[Jason]

Yeah, I remember which Call and collect is very funny. Somebody at that company was like, we have the mother load.

[Mike]

I remember 1-800-Collect. Many collect phone calls because the final quarters were spent at the arcade and I did not plan ahead.

[Jason]

So when you call collect, somebody had to answer and agree to accept the charge. Yes.

[Mike]

That's why you had the commercials of the. Would you accept a phone call from. We had a baby eats a boy.

[Jason]

That's right. I remember that.

[Mike]

No, thank you.

[Andy]

Yeah, they had a baby. It's a boy. That's a great commercial.

[Mike]

All right, good pick. Now the question is, when you were out there, how did you know that you needed to go?

[Andy]

Oh, yeah, I thought I was going to draft this one ahead of payphones.

[Mike]

But yes, how did you know you needed to go call a phone number? And it's because you got a special fancy electronic message on your pager.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And what could the pager show you?

[Andy]

Beep beep.

[Mike]

It could show you phone numbers.

[Jason]

Phone numbers.

[Mike]

Just numbers.

[Andy]

Just numbers. Because sometimes it would say 911. And that's you call me right now.

[Mike]

Yeah. Sometimes it would say I love you if you turned it upside down. Sometimes it would say naughty words that your friends would text you.

[Jason]

I think you were charged per page.

[Mike]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. You had to sign up for a.

[Jason]

Plan, like up to 100 pages a month or something. Yeah.

[Mike]

You had to prepay for the certain amount of pages you could get. And if you went over. Not good.

[Andy]

You both have pagers.

[Jason]

Never had a pager.

[Mike]

I had a pager.

[Jason]

My father did. I was so jealous.

[Andy]

In junior high, we were among the early crowd when it wasn't super tech forward. Yeah. We were tech forward on pagers, and our entire family got one. So it was mom, dad, you know, sister and brother. And I remember once we were. We were like in a bank or something, and we were all sitting there and someone got a page and all four of us just looked down at our waist and the person was like, blown away. They're like, whoa, you guys all have pagers? Wow. Wow, what a dumb thing.

[Mike]

Did you have a cool chain?

[Andy]

All of this stuff No, I had a cool chain. All this stuff is so funny because for us, and when we grew up, we kind of grew up in the era right before computers. And then obviously we're totally computer nerds now. But these things were just this tiny sliver of being really important for a short period of time. Like pagers didn't have a. Oh, yeah.

[Jason]

This is like just a blip in history.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Jason]

That we remember.

[Mike]

Oh, yeah. All right. For my. So I have picked number three here. And yes, this device. It still exists. It could be like, oh, it's cool. It's so retro. But it used to be. These used to be everywhere. A Polaroid camera. Because now of course, your phone is your camera. But back before everybody had one of those and you wanted to get some pictures. Like you go to camp, you got. Someone has to have a Polaroid picture. So you can bring one home or this. Everything will remain undocumented. Your parents will have no idea. Usually there's. You went there and now you're home. And maybe you called them on a payphone once.

[Jason]

I definitely thought they were so cool.

[Mike]

Oh, yeah.

[Jason]

Watching it develop, shaking it. People would.

[Mike]

Which I believe. You're not actually supposed to do that. That Disagree.

[Jason]

Sure.

[Andy]

You're supposed to do that. You know, it's funny. So I was hoping my next pick was going to be film cameras. Like when you had to. Yeah, that's off the table now too. Similar. But like when you had to go develop.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Andy]

You were like, oh, I took all these pictures. I hope they're good. Yeah, I have no idea yet. But tomorrow I'm gonna take the film. I'm gonna go to a place, I'm gonna drop it off, and then the next day I'll come back and pick it up and see my pictures for the first time.

[Jason]

24 hour. The pharmacies that would develop in 24 hours. The one day. The one day photo was like, that business must have been so good to them, which.

[Mike]

And then now this is, you know, maybe old man. But there is like, there is something lost. There's something gained, of course, by being able to see your picture. But like when you can see it and you're just like, nope, we got to do it again. Nope, do it again. Of like, you have to. You got to get the perfect picture because you can see it. You have instant feedback where like my daughter did a camp over the over summer and my wife found essentially it's a digital. But it's like, you remember the disposable cameras. So it looks like that, but it's all digital. But you just, you. There's no screen. It's just, it's just a camera. So like you can actually like just snap, just take a quick picture and it exists in your life and you don't get obsessed with how does the.

[Andy]

Picture actually look right now that's interesting. My kids have started a new app where it's basically like you and a group of friends take pictures and it goes into this app, but you can't see them until the roll is developed. Is developed. And so once they're full, you've got taking 30 pictures or whatever it is. Then 24 hours later you get to.

[Mike]

See what the pictures. Kind of fun. The delayed gratification does. There's some value to it.

[Jason]

Jason, you're back on the clock.

[Andy]

Ooh, I am. That's.

[Jason]

That's how the drafts work.

[Andy]

All right, let's see here. What do I want? So I'm going to go with this one. If you'll let me have it. Now these are.

[Jason]

Oh boy.

[Andy]

Well, they're still used. It's kind of like Polaroid cameras. Like Polaroid cameras. We still have one.

[Jason]

That company and the camera still exist?

[Andy]

Yeah, they're still around, but they're not really used.

[Mike]

Right.

[Jason]

They've got their prime.

[Andy]

This machine used to be super important to all business, to every. If you wanted to get information from one place to another, you would use a fax machine.

[Jason]

Of course you can draft that.

[Andy]

I mean, fax machines are the worst.

[Jason]

I'm not even sure you can buy them anymore.

[Andy]

Yeah, I mean they technically still exist. I find it funny when I see a business and they've got a fax number, I'm like, oops, whose fax?

[Jason]

I feel like that's got to be like government and league, like law and stuff and no one else.

[Andy]

Yeah. And then you schools, you'd fax a fax. You know, you'd receive a fax, but then from one party and you'd have to send it to someone else. But every time you got one, it was just the worst quality. So if you fax a fax, you hope you can read that final output at the end destination. And those also shared the awful dial up Internet sound.

[Jason]

I. Yeah, they did. Yeah. Because you'd get the calls when you were younger and it would be, you know, it's a fax machine on the other line trying to send you a fax that's right through your ear.

[Andy]

I forgot that we had fax machines at home.

[Mike]

Wait, you had a fax machine.

[Andy]

Yeah, yeah, we did.

[Jason]

What? Yeah, we did too.

[Andy]

It was like an all in one, like four in one printer copy, printer fax.

[Jason]

You'd have to set it to fax mode and then the person could fax you and you'd get it.

[Mike]

Yeah, I guess we did have that.

[Jason]

I'm going to go with the kind of the most iconic selection that is associated with the aforementioned movie store, which is. I will go with the VHS tapes.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Jason]

So I will, I'll jump in.

[Mike]

That's what I'm taking.

[Jason]

I will take the VHS tapes because that is the most like generational, like, you go get the movie, you got to rewind it, you browse the Blockbuster, the video store.

[Mike]

So I just saw a hilarious clip. It was, it's Pete Davidson, you know, former SNL guy, and he was on a talk show and he was talking about that he came up with the idea. He was looking back, he's like, we're at about, you know, 20 or so years from the last VHS tape being made. And he's like. So I just started buying them all up. He started buying up all like actual shrink wrapped, you know, new vhs. And he showed, he's like, my, my assistant stores it for me and he showed a picture of this person. Like there's just this huge stack of, of what? You know, it's like, oh, this just looks like junk. And the crowd is of course, just laughing hilariously. He's like, yeah, you laugh now. You laugh now. It's like VHS tapes now are going like, like the real iconic ones. He's like thousands of dollars for a tape. And so it's just like, oh my gosh. Did you seriously pull this off of like, of like just being, just being a little, little bit ahead. Like, look at the. You can't go back in time now. But like Super Mario, the. If you had an original fully sealed Super Mario, it's worth crazy amounts of money. The same for like Nintendo 64 games. So it was just really funny that.

[Jason]

Those are crazy because he hatched this.

[Mike]

Scheme and it was probably going to pay off for him.

[Jason]

All right, my final pick is going to be the Walkman.

[Mike]

Oh, baby.

[Jason]

Yeah, I'm taking the Walkman because I feel like it's like a way of getting cassette tapes at the same time.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah, that's fair.

[Jason]

But the Walkman was, it was a generational staple.

[Andy]

It was so much better than the Disc man. Well, they tried to rom Walkman. It was like, oh, we got a five second no skip. Yeah, you can't you can't possibly jog with this thing that.

[Jason]

Oh, man, I remember the no skip. Oh, that was a big lie. Yeah, that was like. But then you also were like, let me see if I can make it skip. If it's got the power.

[Mike]

Yeah, no, I did. I made a skip.

[Jason]

I.

[Mike]

Very easily.

[Jason]

Actually, I'm taking the Walkman. The Sony Walkman. Good name, good brand, good marketing.

[Andy]

I am so happy that you did that because I knew what my next pick was going to be and I thought for sure it was going to come back to me. I didn't. I wasn't sure that you would think of this one. But then Mike literally just talked about it.

[Mike]

Oh, no, sorry.

[Andy]

Video game cartridges. I mean, I miss blowing in that, you know. Oh, my game's not loading right now. It'll work. I've got the special.

[Jason]

That's fun.

[Mike]

Everyone had the technique. That's fun.

[Jason]

Mike, what's your final pick here, Jason? You have DVDs, pay phones, fax machine, video game cartridges. I have dial up modem, typewriter, VHS and The Walkman, mic, CDs, pagers, Polaroid.

[Mike]

Camera, and I'm going with. If you, if you were in the. If you were in elementary school in the late 80s, early 90s, how did the teacher show you all the information? Well, they put it on the overhead projector, baby.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Hold on, kids, stay there because I'm going to take the next 30 minutes writing on this clear piece of paper or plastic so then you can now copy it. And it was the most inefficient, the overhead project.

[Jason]

It was the evolution from the chalkboard.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Jason]

It was like, we are tech forward here.

[Mike]

Except I don't know that it was better.

[Andy]

It probably wasn't. I mean, the teacher did not like it.

[Jason]

I did like that. They turned, they turned the lights off.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Jason]

And they could write normal. They could write with a normal hand. Like you're writing on a piece of paper. Yeah, those were. They had their window there.

[Mike]

But it's like. But if they didn't pre prepare it, it took forever.

[Jason]

Yeah, they would. They. Yeah, you'd have to write it up there. Did you ever get called up to write an answer on and over.

[Mike]

Oh, yeah.

[Andy]

That felt so cool.

[Mike]

It was so cool because it was. It was awesome tech.

[Jason]

I think we drafted tech from when we were young.

[Mike]

Yeah. But it's all extinct now.

[Jason]

All right, any.

[Andy]

I'm sure you were taking a zip drive because you've talked about your zip drives.

[Jason]

You know what floppy disks were at the very top of my list and I just kind of forgot to take it.

[Mike]

Floppies on dot matrix printer.

[Andy]

Oh, yeah. Pull those sides off.

[Mike]

Oh, it was a good time.

[Jason]

Oh, that's a good one. Rotary phones.

[Mike]

Yeah, I like.

[Andy]

I had house phone and I had some software stuff like non Google search engines.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Andy]

SGS and AltaVista DOS.

[Jason]

I wanted it shout out to Morse code, by the way.

[Mike]

Hey, Morse code is.

[Jason]

That would have been a good pick.

[Mike]

Yeah, I think in like military stuff.

[Andy]

That'S pretty much only used in movies where they need to send a message is Morse code.

[Mike]

You know, you can shut up.

[Jason]

Is that sent through a telegraph? Is that the same thing?

[Mike]

You can be. It can be.

[Jason]

But telegraph can send anything.

[Mike]

No, telegraph has to go through phone wire.

[Jason]

Right. But I mean like you can send any message, right? Or is it only like a code or.

[Mike]

No, you can write out send the children to the school. Stop.

[Jason]

Okay. That's a telegraph.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Jason]

Is that the same thing as getting a telegram?

[Mike]

It's telegram, yeah. Telegraph.

[Jason]

I don't know. Telegraph is the machine does that sends the telegram. I think so.

[Andy]

I thought a telegram's when someone shows up and sings you happy birthday.

[Mike]

That's a singing telegram.

[Andy]

Ah, there it is.

[Jason]

Well, that is gonna be it for today's show. Unless you want to share anything you learned really quickly.

[Andy]

I learned that dozing off is only for parents.

[Jason]

Oh, that was so funny. All right, we'll catch you on the next one. Goodbye.

[Mike]

Goodbye.

[Andy]

Thanks for listening to the Spitballers podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out spitballerspod.com.

[Commercial Announcer]

They say there are two sides to every good and evil. Heroes and villains on Disney Cruise Line. Mischief and magic culture collide and you don't have to decide where your allegiances lie. Run with the villains, but do the occasional good deed. Or hang with the heroes, but dip your toe into the dark side. Do it because this is your story. Your legend begins on the all new Disney destiny sailing this November.

[Andy]

Building a portfolio with Fidelity Basket Portfolios is kind of like making a sandwich. It's as simple as picking your stocks and ETFs, sort of like your meats and other topics and managing it as one big juicy investment.

[Mike]

Mmm.

[Andy]

Now that's pretty good. Learn [e-mail] baskets Investing involves risks, including risk of loss. Fidelity Brokerage Services LLC Member NYSE SIPC member.