Open Casket Magic & Best Frozen Foods - Comedy Podcast

Summary

Spitballers Comedy Podcast

Episode: Open Casket Magic & Best Frozen Foods
Date: April 20, 2026
Hosts: Andy, Mike, and Jason

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Episode Overview

In this episode, the two-time Comedy Podcast of the Year trio—Andy, Mike, and Jason—bring their signature mix of clean but off-the-wall dad humor to a bevy of ridiculous and oddly insightful topics. Listeners enjoy a “Would You Rather” session full of wild hypotheticals (open caskets and magical hairpieces included), a lively “What’s the Difference?” game decoding life’s semantics, and a raucous draft of the world’s best frozen foods. As usual, the show riffs hard on everyday absurdities, offering laugh-out-loud locker-room banter suitable for the whole family.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Scat Battles & Audience Reviews

• Scatting Returns: The episode kicks off with Jason delivering a comically confident scat, prompting the others to riff on his self-professed scatting superiority.
• The Power of Reviews: Andy jokes about the crew’s “dependency” on five-star podcast reviews to keep the team (and their producer Owl) alive, even jokingly considering setting up a “keepowlalive.com” redirect to the review page.
  • “It’s kind of like an addiction. He’s having withdrawals right now.” – Jason, on Owl’s (fictional) review addiction [04:16]

2. Would You Rather? Dress Code Dilemmas

• Hats vs. Shorts Allergy:
  • Would you rather never wear a hat again or never wear shorts again?
  • The group dives into the very Arizonan conundrum of pants vs. shorts for year-round comfort—and reveals hair insecurities.
    • “There are two things I need in life, and that’s a hat and shorts.” – Jason [07:34]
    • “I can’t live without shorts. I’ll figure my hair out... I wore pants maybe three times.” – Andy [09:09]
  • Mini-Reveal: Jason casually drops that he traveled to Turkey for hair surgery, to everyone’s surprise. [10:27]

3. Open Casket Magic & Funeral Innovation

• Funeral Fashion: The trio brainstorms whether, upon their passing, they’d prefer a luscious head of hair (via toupee) or shorts in their open caskets.
  • “If I had to choose...I want formal wear. I’m gonna be in pants and a toupee…” – Jason [11:46]
• Mischievous Casket Ideas:
  • Andy dreams up a magician’s “split” open casket with two viewing lines for funeral efficiency.
    • “You could have two caskets and two separate lines so the lines go quicker.” – Jason [13:43]
    • “I’d rather be split down the middle—vertical.” – Andy [14:01]
• The Problem of Casket Size Pricing: They joke about discounts or upcharges for casket sizes and how retailers pass on the “triple XL” premium.

4. Would You Rather? Fast-growing Mustaches vs. Nails

• Would you rather have a mustache that grows 2 inches every 24 hours or fingernails that grow 2 inches every 24 hours?
  • “I’ll take the mustache. The mustache is so much easier.” – Andy [16:11]
  • Extended riffs on the mechanics and nuisances of nail clipping, toenails, clippers, and the absurdity of historical nail grooming routines.

5. What’s the Difference? Game

• The trio tries (and mostly fails) to distinguish:
  • Hallway vs. Corridor:
    • “Hallways connect rooms. Corridors connect hallways.” – Jason [25:01]
  • Road vs. Street:
    • “A dirt road cannot be a street ever. A street has to have pavement.” – Andy [28:48]
  • Meadow, Prairie, or Field:
    • “There has never been a sad meadow.” – Andy [30:24]
    • “Prairies are beautiful and have hardship.” – Jason [31:24]
  • Shiver vs. Tremble vs. Shake:
    • “Shivering is mostly temperature related—it’s very similar to chattering… small vibrations.” – Jason [35:19]
  • Cave, Cavern, Grotto:
    • “A vaulted cave is a cavern.” – Andy [38:31]
    • “A grotto’s not that deep. It’s gotta have a beautiful water feature.” – Jason [36:42]
    • Memorable moment: Mike insists mermaids (or rather sirens) in grottos are dangerous:
      • “Do you not know the real mermaids? Yes, they are not good!” [39:20]

6. The Best Frozen Foods Draft

Draft Picks and Debates (starting [41:26])

• #1 Overall: Jason selects Frozen Pizza
  • “That’s the go-to. You can have fancy ones, you can have cheap ones—they’re all delicious.” – Jason [41:33]
• Andy’s 1st Pick: Chicken Nuggets
  • “You got the dino nuggets…freezing chicken just works.” [43:48]
• Mike’s 1st Pick: Toaster Waffles
  • “Pop the waffle in, in about two minutes you’re getting a hot, fresh, delicious…” [44:33]
• Frozen Lasagna (Mike): Celebrated as the family hero meal but “takes 75 minutes.”
• Andy’s 2nd Pick: Frozen Fruit
  • “You can make smoothies, eat them frozen, so versatile…” [46:57]
• Controversy: Jason attempts to draft Ice Cream as “frozen food”.
  • Immediate veto from Andy and Mike:
    • “We all agree…that’s not frozen food either.” – Andy [49:50]
    • “If I said ice cream sandwich, what would you say? Totally, okay.” – Jason [53:13]
  • Hilarious mini-meltdown over show rules and the nature of “frozen foods.”
• Redemption: Jason drafts Toaster Strudel as his beloved “frozen food.”
  • “Toaster strudels. Best things that have ever been made.” [51:33]
• Other Notables:
  • Frozen breakfast sandwiches, breakfast burritos, mac & cheese (Stouffer’s style), tater tots, chicken pot pie, and TV dinners (classic Salisbury steak, etc.).
• Honorable Mentions:
  • Fish sticks, mozzarella sticks, taquitos, corn dogs, and pizza rolls/bagel bites.
  • “There’s no way those three containers [in a TV dinner] can have the same temperature.” – Andy [60:01]

7. Life Lessons & Running Gags

• On Ice Cream Exclusion:
  • “Andy hates ice cream. Well, it’s not a frozen food.” – Jason [58:03]
• On the Real Reason for the Draft’s Scope:
  • “The original draft was called frozen foods you get in a box…that’s where the mindset was.” – Jason [53:53]
• On DIY Breakfast Burritos:
  • Jason is amazed to learn that breakfast burritos are pre-made and sold frozen in stores. (“I didn’t know they exist.” [56:11])

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Notable Quotes & Moments With Timestamps

• Jason on Life Needs [07:34]: “There are two things I need in life, and that’s a hat and shorts.”
• Andy on Funeral Attire [11:36]: “Do you want to have the most luscious casket hair you’ve ever had… or shorts in the casket?”
• Mike, Always Practical [13:39]: “You could have two caskets and two separate lines so the lines go quicker.”
• Andy on the Mustache Dilemma [16:11]: “I’ll take the mustache. The mustache is so much easier.”
• Jason Vetoed [49:50]: “Ice cream, fellas—what are you doing?” – Denied as a frozen food draft pick.
• Andy’s Health Confession [45:03]: “If there’s any cancer at all inside of Eggos, I have it.”
• On TV Dinners [59:53]: “Just whole frozen—TV dinner. Give me a Salisbury steak with a little thing of apple, nuclear lava.”

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:00–02:00 – Cold Open, banter, and “scat” intro
• 03:13 – Episode rundown + call for reviews
• 06:39 – “Would You Rather?” segment: hats vs. shorts, mustaches vs. nails
• 11:15–14:18 – Open casket hypotheticals and funeral ‘innovations’
• 24:38 – “What’s the Difference?” game: Hallway/corridor, Road/street, Meadow/field/prairie, Shiver/tremble/shake, Cave/cavern/grotto
• 41:26 – Spitballers Draft: Best Frozen Foods
• 56:00–61:00 – Honorable mentions, lessons learned, and end-of-episode reflections

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Episode Tone & Style

Family-friendly, fast, and irreverent—these guys riff, banter, and play the fool with genuine camaraderie and a relentless stream of dad jokes, pop-culture asides, and creative hypotheticals. No topic is too silly for the “Spitballers” lens, whether it’s about casket line efficiency, the struggles of toenail maintenance, or the age-old debate over whether ice cream counts as a frozen food.

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Summary

This episode is a classic showcase of the Spitballers’ mayhem: roasting each other’s wardrobe choices, dreaming up funeral “gags,” ridiculous “Would You Rather” conundrums, hilariously poor attempts at defining basic word differences, and a playful food draft that devolves into a debate about the ontology of frozen foods, all while managing to share a few nuggets of accidental wisdom about family life, practical living, and how the best ideas are sometimes born out of nonsense.

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For more nonsense, reviews, or to join the community, visit spitballerspod.com.

Transcript

[Jason]

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[Mike]

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[Jason]

What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers podcast with Andy, Mike and Jason. Oh, yeah, baby.

[Andy]

Nice scat, Jason. Thank you, Jason with another hot scat.

[Jason]

Man, I am good at scatting.

[Andy]

Let me try something on for size here. Welcome into the Spitball. There's Annie, Mike, and Jason with you. Jason, you haven't scatted in a really long time.

[Jason]

It's been a minute.

[Andy]

I'm just wondering, do you want,

[Jason]

do

[Andy]

you want me to, like, should I pay you and you could do my scat? Like, is it just the fact it's your scat you don't want to do? The pressure of you scouting? Like, if you did a scat for me, would the pressure come off?

[Jason]

Because then I don't care about it being good because it's like I'm doing yours. I don't think so.

[Andy]

Yeah, it's not going to make a difference.

[Jason]

I don't think that would make a difference. But I will say, I will say this so obviously My next scat is now on the table for one and all in here. But there is a greater than zero. Near zero. A greater than 0% of me then misses doing a scat.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Andy]

I think the people are sold to here.

[Mike]

Is it greater than zero? Less than 10?

[Jason]

Oh, yeah. Okay. All right.

[Mike]

Eight.

[Jason]

Probably not, but it's more than zero. I never thought I could get off the ground.

[Andy]

I've seen some anticipation on the social media for your next action.

[Jason]

Oh, it will be so good.

[Andy]

We have. Would you rather. What's the difference? And we are drafting the best frozen foods on today's episode of the show, which I thought I had some very obvious. Like, I do think there's kind of like a number one and number two.

[Jason]

Like, yes, there's a. There's a 101 and a 102.

[Andy]

I think there's two. But when I started opening that door to like. And by door, I mean like the freezer door, the Costco aisle. Yeah. I started thinking there are quite a few. A lot of answers to this question. So I think there'll be a lot of good picks. You can follow us spitballerspot.com you can go to x@spitballers pod instagram.com spitballers pod and we always appreciate it if you leave us a review. I don't think I've asked about that in a while, but like the reviews that we used to ask about on Apple podcasts, still good? Yeah, still totally. No expiration date. They're still good. Like I still want them.

[Mike]

Right, right.

[Andy]

They're still tasty. Like, I didn't lose my desire for you to review the show and give us a sweet, sweet five star review. And I know that AL is mostly sustained by them, like biologically sustained by the reviews.

[Jason]

And financially it's kind of like. Yeah, it's kind of like an addiction. He's having withdrawals right now.

[Andy]

Oh, a dependency.

[Jason]

Dependency has been developed on five star reviews.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Andy]

So if you just want to.

[Jason]

Owl alive.

[Andy]

If you just want to.

[Jason]

We should get keepallalive.com and have that forward to review.

[Andy]

Yeah. And you can comment about his appearance. That part doesn't matter. In the review. You can talk about what he looks like. That's fine. We actually like that we comment all the time.

[Mike]

You know, sometimes when you. So keep owlalive.com. right. You know, sometimes when you have a website, when you say it totally makes sense. But then when you're writing and it's all lowercase, it doesn't look right. It looks like keep how live?

[Andy]

Oh, yeah. It does look like kipow.

[Mike]

Kipow. Kipow. LA live.

[Jason]

It does look like QI pow.

[Mike]

LA live.

[Andy]

Okay.

[Jason]

Keep out, LA live.

[Andy]

Go to keep out. Yeah, keep out live. LA live.

[Mike]

Oh, yeah.

[Andy]

But anyways.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Andy]

You live off of those, right? I mean, that's pretty much absolutely the majority of your diet. That.

[Jason]

And we do read every one of them.

[Andy]

Or at least I do.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Andy]

So if you want to send him a message about improvements he can make to his aesthetic.

[Jason]

But he only reads the five. Or we could just talk about the show.

[Andy]

Yeah. Or what you like about the. Yeah. You look outstanding today.

[Jason]

Thank you.

[Andy]

That outfit.

[Jason]

You're a beautiful man.

[Andy]

I don't know when this transition happened to where you just felt more bold and more bold.

[Jason]

Oh, I know where it happened.

[Andy]

On a cruise ship.

[Jason]

On a cruise ship.

[Andy]

Yeah. I mean, you are living life. That everything you have on today. You should have worn that to golf yesterday.

[Jason]

Let me ask you a genuine question since. Yeah. Since we're here on your appearance, Jeremy.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Once upon a time you went on a cruise and you got a very specific shirt with like crazy purple outlines of this tree. And I know you got. You were wearing it right before, right after, and you got so many compliments on that shirt. Did that specific shirt have an impact on you changing your normal day to day dress? It definitely didn't hurt. Yeah, I know what shirt you're talking about.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Jason]

You know, it was a great shirt.

[Andy]

It looked like I had a special plant on.

[Jason]

Everybody likes a compliment.

[Mike]

Don't even act like the pattern aren't complicated, guys.

[Jason]

No, those patterns were super complicated. I spent all my per diem on that shirt.

[Andy]

Yeah, you did. You did. All right, let's jump in.

[Mike]

Would you rather one. One store, Jeremy? One store?

[Andy]

Was it just one? One store?

[Jason]

Of course.

[Andy]

Totally your exact style.

[Jason]

How did they know? How did they know everything in there you would buy.

[Andy]

Don't even out the door. Oh, somebody out there is laughing. Would you rather never be able to wear a hat again?

[Mike]

Ow.

[Andy]

Or yeah.

[Mike]

Ow.

[Andy]

Never be able to wear shorts again.

[Jason]

Ow.

[Andy]

So full length pants or never wear a hat again? Look, man, I enjoy wearing a hat out of just plain laziness. It is delightful.

[Mike]

I like the look.

[Andy]

Is that what it is?

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Jason]

I feel like this is.

[Andy]

But you have good hair.

[Jason]

I feel like this question is purely attacking me.

[Mike]

This is your hat.

[Jason]

This is a Jason question that is purely attacking me because there are two things I need in life, and that's a hat and shorts.

[Andy]

Which Papa Josh wears neither ever. You realize this, right?

[Jason]

That's true. Well, he's embraced his balding nature. He's not balding anymore.

[Mike]

But the pants, bald. The pants is a self fulfilling prophecy of. He just. He never wears them. So his legs continue to get pastier, pastier. And so he wears the pants.

[Andy]

You ever seen that? One of those bioluminescent fish that live in the bottom of the ocean.

[Mike]

I have.

[Andy]

They glow and they're just. You can see through them. That's this guy's legs.

[Jason]

That is not a joke.

[Andy]

And if you. That's not a joke. Your wife probably says, put on pants right now.

[Mike]

Do you wear pajama pants?

[Jason]

Yeah, I do.

[Mike]

Oh, my goodness gracious. So you. You are so ashamed of your hair.

[Andy]

Occasionally he's like, lower legs. He's like, I want my legs to get a tan. Like a vampire.

[Mike]

What are you swimming, like a 1920s?

[Jason]

Well, then my legs are underwater, though. So

[Andy]

you don't see him then he wears jeans in the pool.

[Mike]

Josh, are you aware of the opacity

[Andy]

of water similar to the opacity of his legs?

[Jason]

But Andy's got a point. They're like fish belly translucent.

[Andy]

Oh, thank you.

[Mike]

Yeah, because you only wear pants.

[Jason]

You know when you go and you buy a ream of.

[Mike]

Let them see the sun.

[Jason]

You buy a ream of paper and it's like, oh, this is 98 whiteness. I'm pretty sure Josh is like a 99. That's a premium paper. You gotta pay a lot to.

[Andy]

That is premium at this point. Embrace the world record you're setting. Never be able to. I can't. I can't live without shorts. I'll figure my hair out. I'll do the hair. It's fine. I wear shorts. This past year in Arizona, I wore pants maybe three times. We didn't have a winner.

[Jason]

We really did not have a winner. It was insane. I genuinely don't think I turned my house heater on one time, which is crazy.

[Mike]

No, that's how you need to live your life. Banish heaters in Arizona.

[Jason]

But the thing is, I wasn't cold. Like, it wasn't that I was so angry at my heater. It was. I didn't. I wanted to have to use my heater.

[Mike]

I've been in my current house for going on close to 13 years. I've turned my heater on. We're talking one hand.

[Andy]

The wife never wants to hear no,

[Mike]

because you put a sweatshirt on.

[Andy]

Okay.

[Mike]

Put on some sweatpants.

[Andy]

All we're saying is, is that we used to have to put pants on is all I'm saying.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Now I don't.

[Jason]

I think. I think I would have to trt. I think I have to keep the shorts.

[Mike]

All right.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Jason]

I mean, well, this is tough because

[Mike]

I'd be exposing problems.

[Jason]

I'd be exposing problems, but future superpowers. Yeah. Yeah. So I went to Turkey, got a hair surgery.

[Andy]

Oh.

[Jason]

Oh. Well, this is. This is the spitballers. These are not just our people. These are. These are the people.

[Mike]

This is breaking news for everyone here.

[Jason]

So hopefully. Hopefully, it grows better than it is right now in the future. And I can ditch hats, but I can't.

[Andy]

What is yours? I mean, can you give people an expectation of went from now to Stamos? What do you.

[Jason]

Oh, now that's called the grave, brother. That's not happening. But now to full is probably. Hopefully. I mean, it should be 8 more months, but till good is 4 more months.

[Andy]

Real question here.

[Jason]

Okay.

[Andy]

You pass away.

[Jason]

Okay.

[Andy]

Yeah, I know it's a tough start

[Jason]

to the story coming soon. I understand.

[Andy]

You pass away your open casket. Do you want me a mic? Do you want, like, a piece? Do you want a hairpiece? Do I want a hairpiece in the casket?

[Mike]

Oh.

[Andy]

Do you want to have the most luscious casket hair you've ever had?

[Mike]

Or I shorts

[Andy]

or shorts in the casket?

[Jason]

If I had to choose between those two.

[Mike]

Bury me as I lived.

[Jason]

If I had to choose between those two. I want formal wear. I'm going to be in pants and a toupee because some of these toupees are pretty darn good.

[Andy]

Oh, casket toupee is easy to pull off. It's not. You don't got to move well.

[Jason]

And you don't have to do the back. You don't have to do the back. It's really only up front. I was thinking maybe just put me in a hat, like a half of a top hat that they just lay on top. Because you can't put a whole top hat on there. That rim would get in the way.

[Andy]

A half of a top hat.

[Mike]

Do they do.

[Andy]

You're going to need a taller casket.

[Mike]

Do they offer, like.

[Jason]

No, it's all right. I'm short. I'm not 5:11.

[Mike]

That's true. Do they offer, like, a. Like a makeup, muscle contouring package for the casket?

[Jason]

For the new open casket for my body.

[Andy]

For the what?

[Jason]

For the nude open caskets. Why would you need. If it's not. If it's not a la mode?

[Mike]

I'm just saying. No, I'm talking at least shirtless. I'm not going.

[Jason]

I mean, you've never seen a shirtless casket ever.

[Andy]

No, I know. Hasselhoff maybe, but that's what I'm saying.

[Mike]

Like, would you. If I could be open casket. And they would, because they can do amazing things.

[Andy]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Jason]

I was like, see?

[Mike]

You're like, whoa. You know, grandpa had a.

[Jason]

I want to see someone in the world that can contour my big belly to look like a six pack.

[Mike]

They could do it.

[Jason]

No, from one angle. It's gonna be one of those, like, street art things where if you look from just to the side, you're like,

[Andy]

oh, mine is gonna be.

[Jason]

There's not a real hole there.

[Andy]

Mine's an open casket, but only my head shows, and the rest is a digital screen below that. Oh, so you're just gonna walk up and you'll just be seeing CGI for the rest of the.

[Jason]

That's neat. I want my open casket to be like a magician's, where it's split in two.

[Andy]

Oh, that'd be so cool.

[Jason]

But you can really do it. You know what I mean? There's no magic here.

[Mike]

So, like, at the end, they're like, okay, everyone, thank you for joining us for this memorial of Jason Moore. And then two people walk up and they push it away, but it goes into two.

[Jason]

Oh, my gosh. So that'd be cool. Which is both of him, really, if you want to be more practical than that, not just have the big reveal. You could have two caskets and two separate lines so the lines go quicker. Oh, you just don't know whether you're seeing the bottom half or the top half till you get.

[Andy]

I'd rather be split down the middle.

[Jason]

You'd rather be. Well, then everybody. Oh, vertical.

[Andy]

Vertical.

[Jason]

That's true, man.

[Mike]

Vertical. And you know. You know what you do then you just put you up against the mirror so it looks like there's two of you.

[Andy]

The line goes twice.

[Mike]

Yeah, we're so. We have just made the funeral line way more efficient.

[Andy]

Somebody will have to cut you, which

[Jason]

is a pretty big problem.

[Mike]

You know what? I'm okay with it.

[Andy]

The funeral line is the real challenge.

[Mike]

It's a long time. I'm trying to get to the snacks.

[Jason]

It's why they don't do open caskets anymore.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Jason]

The funeral homes are like, we're on a tight schedule here.

[Mike]

No, I opened up my app and I checked the line. Wait, I was like, 20 minutes, two half caskets, then.

[Jason]

No, those would be two full caskets. With the mirror, you want to. You want to have the illusion.

[Andy]

The illusion.

[Mike]

What if you just put it up against the wall?

[Jason]

It would. If the wall was a mirror, you'd be fine.

[Mike]

That's what I'm saying.

[Jason]

Yeah, that works.

[Andy]

All right, so we saw. But you still need.

[Jason]

But you pay for two caskets. But you need the wall because otherwise when you pull it away, you're going to roll out.

[Andy]

Do shorter. People pay less for a casket because of the timber requirements.

[Mike]

Everything is materials and resources.

[Andy]

It should be like. Like if Shaq got buried.

[Jason]

No, he will be. He will be upcharged.

[Mike]

Yeah, for sure.

[Jason]

But I don't think they give discounts to small.

[Andy]

Also. They don't discount you if you're short.

[Jason]

No, you don't get a. And honestly, this is true. You don't get a discount in anything in the store for like a small.

[Andy]

No, you don't.

[Jason]

But I've seen. I've seen extra charges for like. This is triple xl.

[Andy]

Yeah. More material.

[Jason]

You know how much fabric you cause us.

[Andy]

So you don't get a benefit of your. Of your tiny.

[Jason]

No, we don't.

[Andy]

Yeah, we all voted, right?

[Mike]

Yeah, no, we figured it out. Would you rather know what the question was?

[Andy]

Have a mustache that grows 2 full inches every 24 hours?

[Jason]

The question was, did you get a hair surgery in Turkey?

[Mike]

The answer to that is no.

[Andy]

Was that a question to Al?

[Mike]

Would you do.

[Andy]

Al would take a cruise to Turkey.

[Jason]

I would take a cruise. I'd take a cruise anywhere.

[Andy]

Can you get to Turkey via boat? Is that doable? Are they on a cruise?

[Mike]

There's enough water.

[Jason]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Andy]

Would you rather have a mustache that grows a full 2 inches every 24 hours or fingernails that grow 2 full inches every 24 hours? What kind of question is this? I'll take a mustache.

[Mike]

Which hassle would you rather.

[Andy]

I'll take the mustache.

[Mike]

The mustache is so much easier all the time. Cutting your nails is.

[Andy]

I mean, Al's fingernails are basically this.

[Mike]

They are. He's got his Wolverine starter kit on. Like, I don't know. For you guys.

[Andy]

Real Al centric episode.

[Mike]

Like, every time you go to cut your nails, of course, I start with my dominant hand and I. So I'm right handed. So I cut my left hand of my nails. I thought about that and then I move over my left and I go, oh, boy.

[Andy]

Like, because it's a dexterity challenge.

[Mike]

Yeah, here we go again. It's gonna take three times as long.

[Jason]

Here's what's crazy. So I have.

[Mike]

Oh, Ambidextrous. Guy over here.

[Jason]

No, no, no.

[Mike]

But so good at cutting my nails.

[Jason]

I have this.

[Andy]

You know what's coming.

[Jason]

I have. I have this thing that happens. I've got. I used like the toenails.

[Mike]

You got a robot?

[Jason]

No, the full big size clippers. And I.

[Mike]

What. What are the big size clippers?

[Jason]

You know, like, they're technically toenail clippers, but everyone uses those for fingernails because there's a small one.

[Andy]

Yeah, I know what you're talking. Mike's looking at me like, just buy clippers. You get a couple sizes, that's all.

[Jason]

Mike has never seen small.

[Mike]

No, there's one size. No, no, no.

[Andy]

There's two sizes.

[Mike]

There's two.

[Jason]

Yeah, there's.

[Mike]

We're not talking like a travel size.

[Jason]

No, you use the big one.

[Andy]

No, there's two.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Jason]

Anyway, so use the regular. I start with my offhand. I. And I clip my left hand. Right. But every time I move to my right hand, the clippers work different.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Jason]

They cut too far on my nails every time. And I can't figure out why because it doesn't happen on my lap.

[Mike]

We're all trying to.

[Andy]

It's not a dexterity thing. Like, you're just not as good of a cutter.

[Jason]

Of course, that's my better hand.

[Andy]

That's why you gotta bite your nails. You know, trimming my toenails is one of the most annoying things.

[Mike]

That's why you gotta bite your toenails.

[Andy]

I just hate it. Cause the only time I notice my toenails need to be trimmed is one situation.

[Jason]

They hurt.

[Andy]

Well, no, two situations. It's when I'm in bed and I'm watching TV and I just kind of notice.

[Mike]

Go to do a foot scratch.

[Andy]

Yeah, I do. Like a foot scratch. And you're bleeding and I rub my feet together and I go, now I got to get out of bed to trim my nails.

[Jason]

Or it's the comforter and you're scooching and snag.

[Andy]

And nobody's ever invented in the history of the world a clipper that isn't super loud. It has to be super loud.

[Mike]

Well, I don't think it's the clipper. I think it's the actual physical nail

[Andy]

that's the clipping of the nail. It's. It's just.

[Mike]

It's silencer for.

[Andy]

Nobody wants to hear that sound.

[Jason]

Pew, pew.

[Andy]

Yeah, I mean, nobody wants to hear.

[Mike]

No, it's loud.

[Andy]

And nobody can clip more than one nail at once. We've never figured out.

[Mike]

So you're telling me you've never had your big toe nail be a little too long. And you're doing like, the Athletics.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And then your toe jams, and you're like, whoa, that hurt way too bad. And you look down, you're like, oh, that's because the Athletics wolf toenail on right now.

[Jason]

The athletics, specifically, pickleball is.

[Mike]

Yes, that's exactly what I was thinking.

[Jason]

Primary cause of clipping my tail, stopping and starting.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Yeah. Because I'm like, oh, I'm playing pickleball tomorrow. Because I'll look at my.

[Andy]

Can you do that every day? Nobody does that.

[Jason]

No, you can't. It doesn't grow fast enough. Otherwise, you're just going to keep clipping further and further down. You'll have no nail left.

[Andy]

Can you get them permanently removed? You never have to deal with it.

[Mike]

Sure. You just have very exposed nerve endings.

[Jason]

Awful. The quick.

[Andy]

Yeah, it's called the quick.

[Jason]

That's the quick part.

[Mike]

Or is it the quick?

[Andy]

Is it the quick? It's not the quip.

[Mike]

No, that's a verbal thing.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Jason]

But what happens with me often is I will be looking at my toes, and I hate clipping my toenails. And I'm going, okay, it's probably time. But then I don't do it. And then the next day, it comes around, it's obviously longer, and I go, the next day you make that decision. I'm not going to do it. And then I again. And I let it go too long. I recognize this, and I go, I can't let people see this. This is looking bad. And the only thing that really gets me over the hump is I got pickleball tomorrow.

[Mike]

So it's time to flip flops.

[Andy]

If the toenails similar. Like, it's got to be a lot better for you now that you've dropped, like, 50 pounds.

[Jason]

Oh, significantly better.

[Andy]

Because have you ever had to have somebody else trim them?

[Jason]

I can't have people touch my toenails.

[Andy]

Or your eyeballs.

[Jason]

Or my eyeballs or give you an iv.

[Andy]

You might just not like people touching you.

[Jason]

I mean, those are very specific hurdy spots.

[Mike]

I don't know that I would make that assumption about. If you're like, I don't like people touching my eyeballs. I love. Do they make, like, a shoehorn equivalent? Oh, like an extended clipper for a toenail clipper.

[Andy]

Oh, the accuracy on. That's got to be.

[Jason]

That would be problematic. Dangerous.

[Andy]

Yeah. A distance like a sniper.

[Jason]

A long distance.

[Andy]

A sniper clipper.

[Mike]

I'm not shooting down at it.

[Andy]

I'M just saying from a distance, I

[Mike]

feel more like I'm looking into a microscope. I got my eye down on it.

[Jason]

Problem is, you still have to reach.

[Andy]

You know, that there's no way people in history ever trimmed any of this stuff.

[Mike]

Oh, they for sure did.

[Jason]

No. You think 200 years ago? Yes.

[Andy]

You think in the 40s?

[Jason]

I think they had toenail clippers.

[Andy]

They're just trying to eat. They're trimming their nails.

[Mike]

They figured it out, guys. They didn't just wear their nail until it broke off.

[Jason]

Yeah, they did.

[Mike]

No, they did not.

[Jason]

I'll bet they bit their fingernails, and I'll bet their toenails just grew forever.

[Andy]

They probably bit their toenails.

[Jason]

Disgusting.

[Andy]

Yeah. I'm going the. I want the mustache. I don't want the. I don't want the.

[Jason]

Yeah, because to clip your mustache takes one second.

[Andy]

Let's take a break. We'll be right back. What's going on, everybody? I have a busy life. We have three kids. They are always all over the place, and it is hard to find time to cook a healthy meal instead of just clicking that button and getting some nasty delivered to your house. And we've all had long days when that hunger kicks in and we want that healthy meal. And, well, it's not in the fridge. And that's where Factor comes in. We were using Factor our family since before they were even a sponsor of the show. We're talking fully prepared meals that my son steals most of, designed by dietitians, crafted by chefs, delivered to your door. We've been subscribed for years now. They are fresh, never frozen. They go right into our refrigerator. Tons of great variety. We grab them. It's two minutes per meal and stuff that we actually enjoy that tastes great. There are more than 100 options every single week. We've got pro. Like, I'm on a protein meal plan. I can order protein meals that I absolutely love, and we've been doing that for a long time. Head to factor meals.com ballers 50 off and use the code ballers 50 off to get 50% off and free daily greens per box with new subscription only while supplies last until September 27, 2026. See website for more details. What's going on? Spit wads. If you're trying to be more intentional about what you wear every day, quints can help with that. They've got pieces that feel easy, comfortable, and still put together. The fabrics feel elevated, and the fits are clean. Fun story. I've been buying from quints for a long Time and they've been working with the show. Love them. They got all sorts of great stuff. Like think about 100% European line shorts and shirts. We wear only shorts out here for $34. That type of stuff. I go into our closet and lo and behold, there is a box from Quint's. My wife had separately found them and started buying from them. That's how good the products are because it's 50 to 80% less than what you'd find with similar brands. Quince works directly with ethical factories and cuts out the middleman legitimately. A great company, a great product. I love everything I've gotten from Quints. The specific shirts and shorts that I absolutely love. Those are my favorites. So comfortable. And in Arizona you need comfortable shorts all the time. Refresh your everyday with luxury you'll actually use. Head to quince.com spitballers for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q u I n c.com spitballers for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quints.com spitballers. What's the difference between me and you? Me and you. All right, it is. It's time for us to illuminate once again. By the way, this is episode 364.

[Mike]

Oh, next.

[Andy]

So in certain years we're fine, right? Most years.

[Mike]

No.

[Andy]

Oh, no. It's five and six.

[Mike]

You're going the other way again.

[Andy]

Yeah, it's been a while since I thought about years. What is the difference? We're going to play what's the Difference and figure this out. What's the difference between a hallway and a corridor? I don't feel like this one's that bad.

[Jason]

This one doesn't seem that bad. I feel like hallways connect rooms and corridors connect hallways.

[Mike]

Oh, come on. Wait.

[Andy]

They connect buildings, Jason. Corridors connect buildings.

[Jason]

Yeah, but when you walk in that building, you're probably in a hallway.

[Andy]

I don't know. Is there a maximum width on a hallway? I feel like there is for sure. I feel like. Like if you went to, you wouldn't

[Jason]

call like a tunnel a hallway.

[Andy]

Like you go to like a Disney hotel and there's all these different passage to go to different places. Those aren't all hallways.

[Jason]

No, no way. Because corridors, they are.

[Andy]

They're corridors. But a hallway's got to be. I got to be able to reach both sides of it with my arms. With my arms.

[Jason]

So I think really, you gotta be

[Andy]

able to reach this.

[Jason]

Anything beyond six feet, you're Close to. Right, but you're incorrect. You would walk down a hallway in a hotel, and you can't touch both sides of that.

[Andy]

That's still a problem. I can't. You're talking to get to the rooms in the hotel. Yeah, like, you come out of the elevator, you walk. I can touch both sides of that hallway.

[Jason]

No, you cannot. Oh, I bet I can. Oh, man. There's no way. Maybe some hotels in New York City. Sure, they. Or in France.

[Andy]

But if you're talking hotels Jason's staying in, man.

[Jason]

No, I'm just saying the newer ones, everything's sunk and.

[Andy]

All right, Every motel, though, right?

[Jason]

Every motel is a hallway.

[Mike]

No motels have corridors.

[Jason]

What?

[Andy]

No, motels don't have corridors, Mike. You don't know what the hell you're talking about.

[Mike]

Motels are outside.

[Jason]

Motels are outside.

[Andy]

Yeah, they don't have.

[Jason]

But that doesn't.

[Andy]

That's not a corridor. Don't act.

[Mike]

All right, it's not a hallway.

[Jason]

It's an outside. Yes, outside. What's the difference between a corridor and an outside?

[Mike]

You're saying a corridor can't be outside.

[Andy]

No, it can't.

[Mike]

You just talked about the Disneyland hotel.

[Jason]

It can't be.

[Andy]

No, no, no. I'm talking about outside.

[Jason]

It cannot be. It can.

[Mike]

It can.

[Jason]

It can be located outside.

[Mike]

Corridor could be outside.

[Jason]

Come outside.

[Mike]

I think there might be hallways, have a room.

[Andy]

There might be some things on maps literally called cord.

[Mike]

Yes, there might be some corridor can be exterior.

[Andy]

It's more about the shape. I think the corridor is a shape thing.

[Jason]

Shoot.

[Andy]

I think there's probably some.

[Mike]

Now, if you're like, what's the difference between a corridor and an alley? I'm not really sure. Other than crime.

[Andy]

An alley's a dark. An alley cannot be well lit.

[Mike]

They're full of crime and dumpsters. So maybe a corridor is a dumpster free alley.

[Jason]

Yeah. The question is, do you feel safe? That's a corridor.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Jason]

If you don't feel safe, that's an alley. No one's ever, ever felt safe in an alley. You walk down an alley and you're

[Andy]

gotta be some brick in an alley and a dumpster in an alley.

[Jason]

Well, bowling, yeah. All right.

[Andy]

Wow. We didn't do good with that one.

[Jason]

But honestly, I don't usually feel safe at a bowling alley, to be honest. So I think it still stands.

[Andy]

A bowling alley is the only place you can go to transport to 1965. With the level of smoking I am getting.

[Jason]

Never, ever update.

[Andy]

They're never banning smoking, ever.

[Mike]

Well, because they will lose the bowlers.

[Andy]

And what's crazy is all bowlers are smokers.

[Mike]

No, not all.

[Andy]

All smokers are bowlers.

[Jason]

Yes, yes, yes. That direction works.

[Andy]

Okay, let's work that direction. Okay, we got it.

[Jason]

I don't think they have built a new one in at least 40 years.

[Andy]

Oh, like a brand new bowling alley.

[Jason]

A brand new bowling alley.

[Andy]

And if they do, there's.

[Mike]

We.

[Jason]

They have to ship in old wood. Old. You know, it's. It's got to be. It's.

[Andy]

Yeah, it's all reclaimed.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Andy]

The only place people that make ashtrays go to sell their product are bowling alleys.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Andy]

Okay, what is the difference? Guys, this is a simple one. Right between a road and a street.

[Jason]

Oh, that's so simple, Mike.

[Mike]

Yeah, no, it's so easy.

[Andy]

Andy, Look, I do have an answer.

[Jason]

Great.

[Andy]

We have A dirt road cannot be a street ever.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Andy]

A street has to have pavement.

[Mike]

What level.

[Andy]

A road is broader.

[Mike]

Full pavement. Or like. Or what about like compact gravel?

[Andy]

It's acceptable.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Andy]

As a road they have cobblestone roads. Oh, but not cobblestone streets. Yeah, there's streets that are cobblestone.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Mike]

I think we have figured nothing out.

[Jason]

I agree. That you can't have a dirt street. That I agree.

[Andy]

Yeah, you can have a dirt street.

[Jason]

You can't have a dirt street.

[Andy]

Hey, I live down the dirt street. No, you don't. You're crazy. Go to jail.

[Jason]

You live off a road.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Idiot.

[Mike]

Is there old town streets

[Jason]

like a country street?

[Mike]

Well, because you take your horse down the old town road, right.

[Andy]

And you go down the country street.

[Mike]

Would you take him down the old town street?

[Andy]

A winding country street? No, that doesn't make sense.

[Jason]

No. So old ones, dirt ones, roads, anything

[Andy]

1979 and newer is a street.

[Jason]

So does that mean you pretty much take a road to the bowling alley? To most bowling alleys you would probably take.

[Andy]

There's no way that the entire pathway from your house to a bowling alley is paved, right?

[Jason]

Exactly.

[Andy]

Some of it might be paved.

[Mike]

At the very least, the parking lot is not. Right. Yeah.

[Jason]

I mean, even in the nicest ones. Part of it. Part of it torn up.

[Andy]

Oh, for sure. No question. We solved it. What is the difference between a meadow, a field and a prairie?

[Mike]

Oh, man.

[Andy]

A meadow.

[Jason]

Meadow.

[Andy]

Oh, my gosh. That's such a happy place. There has never been a sad meadow. In my opinion.

[Jason]

You can be very sad on a prairie.

[Andy]

Oh, I think that's. Most people were. Yeah, they barely survived put little houses.

[Mike]

But like a Prairie.

[Andy]

A meadow's got wildflowers galore.

[Mike]

Yeah. Meadow. Meadows has flowers.

[Jason]

Prairie.

[Andy]

If you celebrate someplace and run around, it's going to be a meadow.

[Jason]

Well, the growth matters here, because a field is not. There's no growth over the knees. You are not.

[Mike]

Yeah, I don't think that's.

[Andy]

No, I get what you're saying. It's a wide open field.

[Jason]

It's a wide open field.

[Andy]

You go to a field, Jason. Cornfield. Yeah, cornfield. You got to raise the height.

[Jason]

But that's one word. That's a different word. It's not a corn field.

[Andy]

Can't have a tree in a field. Can we live with that?

[Jason]

It can't. The field. I feel like you could put a tree in a field, but you can't have trees in a field.

[Andy]

One tree per field.

[Jason]

One tree per field.

[Andy]

One tree per field is fine.

[Jason]

Meadows definitely have flowers.

[Andy]

Oh, no question. Yeah.

[Mike]

Wildflowers and singing.

[Jason]

Prairies are beautiful and have hardship.

[Mike]

Yeah. And wagons, little houses.

[Andy]

Prairies are grass, for sure.

[Jason]

Yeah. And fields are mostly open.

[Andy]

You could only put a little house on one of these.

[Jason]

Right.

[Andy]

You figure out which one.

[Mike]

Do prairie dogs live in meadows?

[Andy]

No, no, regular dogs do. Okay.

[Mike]

And fields. Same.

[Andy]

Those are for moles, correct. Yeah. Moles live in the moles.

[Jason]

And gophers.

[Andy]

Moles and gophers. To the field.

[Jason]

If you.

[Andy]

Meadows got butterflies. The prairies got the prairie dogs. And the hardship.

[Jason]

Yeah. If you were putting.

[Andy]

This is not hard, people.

[Jason]

If you are putting a bowling alley near one of these. Oh, my gosh.

[Andy]

It goes in a dirt field.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Yeah. For sure. Not even the prairie.

[Jason]

No. Prairie is old and sad, but certainly not that sad.

[Mike]

I mean, full of dysentery.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And an ox.

[Andy]

Dude. There's. At least.

[Jason]

That's where the aux roam.

[Mike]

And broken axles on your wagon.

[Andy]

Yes. And there's at least three or four owners of bowling alleys right now that are upset with us. And I want to say this. First of all, you're in your 80s. Just don't worry about it.

[Jason]

They're not listening.

[Andy]

No, no.

[Mike]

They're like, what's the podcast?

[Jason]

YouTube. Oh, wait, it's more like. Yeah, YouTube. What's that?

[Mike]

What radio station's that on?

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Andy]

This is the shot at bowling alleys

[Mike]

that never knew I wanted to take.

[Jason]

But everyone out there is like, yeah, someone finally said it.

[Mike]

We finally put those bowling alleys in their place.

[Andy]

I feel in danger the second I into one.

[Jason]

Of course you do. You're in a bowling alley.

[Mike]

Like, somehow I feel Safer in the alley.

[Andy]

Yes. Than the bowling alley. Put some pins in a regular alley. I'm in like that.

[Mike]

Percentage you. Percentage of you where you're just like, I got it. I don't know what's going to go on. I got to be ready to throw hands.

[Andy]

You're more likely in a bowling alley. In a bowling alley than an alley. That's for sure.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Jason]

Yeah, I think that's true.

[Andy]

And probably other drugs.

[Jason]

I would rather like play a game of craps in the. In the alley behind Street Thugs. Yeah, with the street.

[Mike]

Just play street craps.

[Jason]

For sure.

[Andy]

Okay.

[Mike]

Bowling alley.

[Andy]

What's the difference between a bowling alley and a dumpster?

[Mike]

Dumpster smells better.

[Jason]

Oh.

[Mike]

Why are we just.

[Andy]

I don't know. What's the difference between shivering, trembling and shaking?

[Mike]

Well, you can't tremble your timbers.

[Andy]

No, you are right.

[Mike]

Can't shake your timbers either.

[Andy]

No, you can only shiver them.

[Jason]

Shivering.

[Andy]

What are your timbers, by the way?

[Jason]

Timbers.

[Mike]

Your legs.

[Andy]

Yeah, those are your legs. Your timbers.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Okay, you guys, I'm sorry.

[Mike]

No, I mean, I really didn't know.

[Jason]

Well, if you fall down, if you get. You would. You would say timber. So.

[Mike]

So that it implies. That it implies your.

[Jason]

Yeah, your limbs.

[Andy]

Shivering is.

[Jason]

I think it's all your limbs, your arms and your legs.

[Andy]

Trembling, Shivering, shaking. Only I tremble the most while I'm scared of these.

[Jason]

Yes, for sure. I mean, trembling infers you can shake.

[Andy]

What a great word, trembling.

[Mike]

Which one is the strongest of vibration?

[Jason]

It's not shivering. Shaking is bigger than.

[Andy]

It's probably shaking. You can shake in your boots, you can shiver your timbers. I don't know what you do when you tremble, but.

[Jason]

Tremble me timbers.

[Andy]

I'm trembling with fear. I'm shaking in my boots and I'm shivering my timbers.

[Mike]

Shivering is. Shivering seems mostly temperature related.

[Jason]

Shivering is usually temperature related. It's very similar to chattering. It's small vibrations. It's like a little hum of the body.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Andy]

In Arizona we wore shorts all year long. We never shivered our timbers.

[Jason]

Not once.

[Andy]

That's not the way you're supposed to use that. Trembling. Shaking. Shivering. Shaking is the broadest term. It applies to lots of different situations.

[Jason]

Yeah, a lot. I mean, you can shake it off. You can shake it off. That's fun.

[Andy]

Shake it on.

[Jason]

Shake a baby. Don't do that.

[Mike]

Don't do that.

[Jason]

Don't do that.

[Mike]

Don't do that.

[Jason]

Don't shake a baby.

[Mike]

Don't do that.

[Jason]

They show videos on that.

[Mike]

You saw videos on that?

[Jason]

Oh, yeah.

[Andy]

To not do it.

[Jason]

You Can't.

[Andy]

Like a psa, right?

[Jason]

Yeah. Not. It's like, look how cool this is. Don't do that. No. When you have a baby now. When you have a baby in a hospital, you, like, can't. You can't take the baby if you don't watch a Don't Shake the Baby video.

[Andy]

At least I did get a video 15 years ago, and I. I didn't know what to do.

[Jason]

I'm sure the mom did.

[Andy]

Any questions, Al, on this one?

[Jason]

No, you guys cleared that right up.

[Andy]

Should we go for one more or do we got.

[Mike]

Let's do one more.

[Andy]

Okay. What's the difference between a cave, a cavern, and a grotto?

[Jason]

Grotto has a beautiful water feature.

[Mike]

Yeah. It's also. It's not that deep a grotto.

[Jason]

That's what my daughter says all the time.

[Andy]

About the grotto?

[Jason]

No, about everything.

[Andy]

Oh. In life, nothing's that deep.

[Jason]

Not that deep.

[Andy]

Does she really? Is that her go to line?

[Jason]

Oh, yeah.

[Andy]

Like, if you try to get serious with her about something.

[Jason]

It's not that deep.

[Andy]

I'm. Oh, that's so insulting.

[Mike]

I'm really glad you brought that up.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Thank you.

[Jason]

You're welcome.

[Mike]

So a grotto.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Mike]

It's not that deep.

[Andy]

It's not that deep.

[Jason]

But there is a beautiful water feature.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Jason]

In a grotto.

[Andy]

I mean, there can be water.

[Mike]

A cavern.

[Andy]

In a cave, though. Both of those.

[Jason]

Yes.

[Andy]

But you.

[Jason]

But you can have those without. I don't think you can have a grotto without water.

[Andy]

I think let's focus on cave and cavern because they sound the same and they probably are.

[Jason]

No, caverns are way bigger. Caverns are cavernous. Yes. You don't say cavernous. Oh, this is so cavernous.

[Andy]

What about the Bat Cave, Jason? It's not the Bat Cavern.

[Mike]

What? Bat Cave. A bat cave. I thought you were saying bat.

[Jason]

We've got a.

[Andy]

Why would I say Bat Cave?

[Mike]

That's why I was confused.

[Jason]

It's like a corn field. That's one word.

[Andy]

Batman has a Bat Cave, and it is a cavernous space.

[Jason]

Yes.

[Andy]

And you know I'm right.

[Jason]

I know you're right.

[Mike]

Honestly, it depends on your. Your cannon. What are we talking. Are we talking Adam West? Because that's a Bat Cave.

[Jason]

Yeah, it's a little tiny thing.

[Mike]

Are we talking about the new one? The Christopher Nolan ones? That's a cavern. That's a mismanagement of the word. It's not a cave. Hate to break it to you.

[Andy]

Look, we're breaking it down, and I'm just Saying some of the biggest caves in the world are humongous. I just feel like a cavern might. To me mentally, it's very. A cave is like tight. Even if it's big. A cavern is very wide open, like a cathedral ceiling.

[Mike]

So you got vaulted.

[Andy]

It's vaulted.

[Mike]

Vaulted ceilings.

[Andy]

A vaulted cave is a cavern.

[Mike]

Okay. I can get behind that.

[Andy]

And I feel like a grotto is just not getting its time of day here. Because we think of it, we have pools out here in Arizona. Sometimes they build a little grotto. Grotto?

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Andy]

With rocks.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Andy]

But I feel like there's got to be natural grottoes.

[Mike]

You want to. I'm going to put a cavern on that pool. Like, whoa. I don't got a budget for that. A cavern.

[Jason]

We going underground here.

[Andy]

You want to spend the night in which of these three? Where do you want to spend the night?

[Mike]

Cavern.

[Jason]

I think it's cavern.

[Andy]

You don't want the grotto.

[Jason]

The grotto is nice, but I worry

[Andy]

I'd be scared of things inside of a cave.

[Jason]

Well, yeah, but you're not in a cave.

[Andy]

Bears. There's no grotto bears.

[Jason]

Cave bears.

[Andy]

There's no grotto bears. I told them it's not deep enough,

[Mike]

but I said the mermaids, they're in the grotto.

[Jason]

You're scared of mermaids?

[Mike]

Do you not know the real mermaids?

[Andy]

Are they mean?

[Mike]

Yes.

[Jason]

No.

[Mike]

Yes. Oh, they're terrible.

[Andy]

I don't know.

[Mike]

They make you crash your ship.

[Andy]

Don't do this to me. Not that I really need to meet a mermaid anytime soon.

[Mike]

The true story about mermaids. They are not good.

[Andy]

They have sharp teeth.

[Mike]

Oh, yes. Yes, they do.

[Andy]

See, I knew. So they are basically grotto bears.

[Jason]

Yes, they are thinking of a different creature.

[Andy]

You're thinking of Medusa.

[Jason]

No, not Medusa. It's the sirens. Yeah, he's thinking of sirens. I don't know if that's the same.

[Mike]

That's a mermaid.

[Andy]

Is there a mermaid? Medusa? No, that's a good movie.

[Jason]

Mermaid.

[Andy]

Come on.

[Mike]

She'll never get me because I'm not gonna open my eyes underwater.

[Andy]

That's it. That's it. Man, we're so. No, I can't with the mirror though.

[Mike]

It hurts my. Oh, well, that's how you.

[Andy]

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[Jason]

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[Andy]

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[Jason]

The Spitballers draft.

[Andy]

All right, it's time. We are drafting the best frozen foods on earth. Jason, you get the number one pick

[Jason]

and it is pizza. Of course it's frozen pizza. I mean, that's the one that's the go to. You can have fancy ones, you can have cheap ones. They're all delicious.

[Andy]

How fancy can they really be?

[Jason]

Oh, I'm just saying they could get expensive. I mean, big giant.

[Andy]

I feel like the dish people have been selling me, like, there's nothing wrong with buying the nicer frozen pieces. I would love to do that. I just feel like they are capped a little bit.

[Mike]

Capped.

[Andy]

They've been promising me that I'm gonna get this pizza from the freezer.

[Jason]

Oh, it's not delivery.

[Mike]

Well, it's Digiorno's, right? Frozen pizza in our lifetime, which granted, is now a long time. So it's a lot of time. But like frozen pizzas when we were young, at least to me they were. All of them were awful. They were. They had a. Yes, they had a very particular taste.

[Andy]

And it was like, that was not cheese.

[Mike]

The crust is always the cracker. Like a full snap. There's no give to it at all. They've gotten a lot better.

[Jason]

I mean, I don't remember the last frozen pizza that I've cooked that is not absolutely delicious. So long as I did not burn it.

[Andy]

To be clear, I always ate the old ones too. But out of 10, what would you rate frozen pizzas?

[Jason]

10.

[Mike]

Wow.

[Andy]

On a scale of pizzas.

[Jason]

Oh, on a scale of just pizzas.

[Andy]

Yeah. I'm not asking, like, rate all. How else could you grate this thing?

[Jason]

Just how good it is. Honestly, I was thinking frozen foods. That's our draft. It's a 10 out of 10 in frozen foods. It is. But as far as on a scale

[Andy]

of pizzas, it maxes at six and a half.

[Jason]

This is an eight for me. Eight and a half.

[Andy]

All right, well, I wanted it.

[Jason]

I am always so jealous because I don't ever eat frozen pizza. I mean, I say that, but I don't ever make myself a frozen pizza. But then I make it for my kids and I will take all that because it looks so cool.

[Mike]

Do you ever do the move where

[Andy]

it's like, oh, you make it a pizza still?

[Mike]

No. Yeah, you cut out like a tiny

[Andy]

and just push it together.

[Mike]

No, no one's touched. That's a solid move. You're just like, no. What?

[Andy]

I'm really.

[Mike]

How small can I get it before

[Andy]

they notice I wanted that one? I do think my pick is going to be more frequently eaten in totality, so I'm going to have to go with it. I don't know if you said there were two that were in your mind. Yeah, it's chicken nuggets.

[Jason]

Yeah, chicken nuggets.

[Andy]

I'm taking chicken Nuggets.

[Mike]

It's the 101.

[Andy]

That's what I feel like. There's so much variety. You got the dino nuggets. You've got the chicken finger style nuggets. Look, freezing chicken works. It just works.

[Mike]

It does.

[Andy]

And now we got air fryers to make them even better. Yeah, that's the problem with the pizza to a degree. You need an air fryer big enough to house a full pizza and it would fix the problem.

[Mike]

All right, so I'm up.

[Andy]

You're up two picks.

[Mike]

So you went pizza and chicken nuggets. That is probably the top two picks. So I'm going to go a little bit of a different direction just because it's.

[Jason]

It's easy.

[Andy]

Okay.

[Mike]

And they're always great. You pop the waffle.

[Jason]

No toaster.

[Andy]

I wanted it with my.

[Mike]

The waffle in, you know, in about two minutes you're getting a hot, fresh, delicious.

[Andy]

Oh, it just works.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Really?

[Mike]

And those have been solid forever.

[Andy]

If there is. Let me not a sponsor after what I say.

[Mike]

Oh, yeah. You got your own waffles.

[Andy]

No.

[Mike]

Your own waffle situation.

[Andy]

No, I do.

[Mike]

I. Oh, we're not shouting them out.

[Andy]

No, I eat the Viking waffles are great.

[Mike]

They're.

[Andy]

They're great. But if there's any cancer at all inside of Eggos, I have it.

[Mike]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andy]

With the amount that I have eaten in my life, I think that was a solid everyday breakfast for years.

[Mike]

I mean, you got a Lego, so the waffles are very good.

[Jason]

Mmm hmm.

[Mike]

The problem is I have. I'm having some real.

[Andy]

I have a real patterns are very

[Mike]

complicated recency bias because I had it last night.

[Andy]

Okay.

[Jason]

Sounds like it must Be.

[Mike]

I mean, it was good. It's frozen lasagna, guys.

[Jason]

Oh, that's great. Frozen lasagna.

[Mike]

Frozen lasagna. It's a whole family number one. It just, it takes way too long because, I mean, this is. You're talking. This is a 75 minute cook time. But if you got the time to do it and you don't have to, you know, sit and babysit it of like a freshly cooked meal, it comes out, it's lava hot, let it cool down a little bit, and got the job done.

[Jason]

It does take.

[Mike]

We were all very happy.

[Jason]

It does take a long time. You're talking at least 55 minutes, probably from start to finish. You're right, 75 minutes. But when you're done, you're feeding an entire family a meal. The prep, the, the ease and it's, it's the entree. There's some other frozen things that might come up here that take a long time and then it's like. That's a side dish.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Jason]

That's not. That's not worth it.

[Mike]

So I'm taking the La Zagne.

[Jason]

Okay.

[Andy]

All right. I'm gonna, I'm gonna go a different direction. I think everybody's gonna default to quick eating food, like a quick meal.

[Mike]

I just pulled you a 75 minute cooker. It's not very quick.

[Andy]

Wait, what were your two.

[Mike]

Lasagna and waffles.

[Andy]

Okay. A dinner. A meal.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Andy]

Mine's gonna be more versatile. We can do more with it. I'm going to go with frozen fruit.

[Mike]

Oh, that's fine.

[Andy]

You can make smoothies with it, right? I mean, frozen food is great. My kid, it's a lot of different options.

[Mike]

Houses frozen mangoes.

[Jason]

You would really buy them. Just eat some frozen.

[Mike]

You would not believe, bro.

[Andy]

I do that with blueberries. The amount of unbelievable.

[Mike]

The bags of frozen mangoes, if I go to the grocery store, I have to buy two of them.

[Andy]

Which kid?

[Mike]

Decker.

[Andy]

The young one. Mangoes out.

[Mike]

Just houses them. Yeah. For Harambe.

[Andy]

Mangoes out.

[Mike]

And I'm telling you, two full bags maybe lasts four days, maybe.

[Andy]

I mean, how can you complain? I mean, that's a lot of sugar, I guess, but how can you complain about some fruits?

[Mike]

Crushes it.

[Andy]

And don't they preserve all the. I mean, it preserves all of the nutrients better, I believe.

[Jason]

Yeah. Frozen. Both. Both fruit and vegetables do retain their nutrients better.

[Andy]

Yeah. I'm going frozen fruit. I feel like there's enough.

[Mike]

It's not on my list, but that's a very strong pick.

[Jason]

I have frozen fruit in my freezer because once upon a time, probably several months ago, we thought we would use them.

[Andy]

What did you just say in the chat there, Al?

[Jason]

I said I destroyed a bag of frozen grapes last year.

[Andy]

Frozen grapes are a. A delicious treat.

[Mike]

I can't get in.

[Jason]

I'm the sick.

[Andy]

And if you get the. Here's a tip with the blueberries. Get those wild berries, the main wild. The little ones. You can just eat them straight.

[Mike]

Because I've heard people take the grapes and they'll put the.

[Andy]

They'll put some lemon.

[Mike]

What is the. The sulfuric acid? Is that what I'm thinking of?

[Andy]

I don't think so, buddy.

[Jason]

I think he might be right.

[Andy]

Sulfuric.

[Jason]

I don't know. It makes them sour.

[Mike]

The sour. The sour powder. Is that not.

[Jason]

I think that is sulfuric acid.

[Mike]

Oh, Andy's learning something right now.

[Andy]

I don't think so, but I'm not going to. I know I can be wrong.

[Mike]

I'm pretty sure that's what it is. But it's just a powder. It's a sour powder. Like whatever's on your warheads, that's what.

[Andy]

Maybe it's citric. Citric will kill you to, like, burn through bodies.

[Mike]

Look, hey, you win this round, okay?

[Andy]

I really thought I was crazy, but. Go on.

[Jason]

Malic acid.

[Mike]

No, it's citric acid because it's like.

[Andy]

We've already looked it up, but that's.

[Mike]

It makes so much more sense than people put citric.

[Andy]

Citric acid on.

[Mike]

Yeah. And so they make themselves like a little candy, like a sour grape treat, but I can't get on top.

[Andy]

Highly tart. Yeah, I've had them. They're good. All right. I'm not picking anymore. It's on to Jason, so it's on to me.

[Jason]

And I'm. I'm very. I'm very confused. I'm very.

[Mike]

Don't put that on your grape skin.

[Andy]

No.

[Jason]

Or touch it.

[Mike]

Gonna have a bad time.

[Jason]

I'm very confused because my 102 is still there. And all of a sudden I'm like,

[Andy]

is it the 102?

[Jason]

Well, no, it clearly is, but is for some reason. This not count to the draft because it makes no sense.

[Andy]

Uh. Oh, that's a great start, but ice

[Jason]

cream, fellas, what are you doing?

[Andy]

Yeah, that's not frozen food either.

[Jason]

That's not frozen food.

[Andy]

Insane. No.

[Jason]

Okay, so you don't eat it.

[Andy]

It's not frozen.

[Mike]

It just.

[Jason]

It's not frozen.

[Mike]

It didn't feel like it was sold.

[Jason]

Where do you put yours? Where do you put yours? If you can do you put it in the.

[Mike]

What is. I didn't put it on my list because it didn't feel good.

[Andy]

Yeah. We all agree.

[Jason]

Okay, you guys can agree. That blows my mind. Owl. What would you think ice cream's a frozen food? Yeah. I mean, because it is. It's in the frozen food section.

[Mike]

Okay. But here's how I was thinking about the draft is it's frozen, and then I make it unfrozen to make it food.

[Jason]

Oh, I did not. Okay. I just thought the draft was frozen foods. I didn't realize it was frozen foods. You have to deckers thawing out that mango before he houses it.

[Mike]

That's a good point. Anyways, I'm not letting you take ice cream, all right?

[Jason]

I will not take ice cream, even though you guys are.

[Andy]

It wasn't on either of our lists. So I think the spirit.

[Jason]

That's called an oversight.

[Andy]

The spirit, number two. You think I'm oversighting ice cream?

[Jason]

You just heard me. You just did. Which is why I was gracious enough to leave that for you.

[Mike]

Just let the record show you don't get it because we said you can't have it, not because you're choosing not to draft.

[Jason]

Yeah. Okay. Because I would draft it. I will go with a different sweet treat then.

[Mike]

Fine.

[Jason]

That is frozen yogurt. Probably. That is probably better than every. It's better than everything that's been drafted so far.

[Mike]

It's not.

[Jason]

It is too. It is too.

[Mike]

If you had the first pick.

[Jason]

I didn't say it was the one on one. I said it's better. It's more delicious. And it's a problem for me. And if I ever. If we have these in our house, we have them in our house for one night. Really? One morning. It's breakfast. It's toaster strudels.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Jason]

Toaster strudels.

[Mike]

Allow it because you are 100% right. Yes. Those are the best things that have been.

[Jason]

Best things that have ever been made.

[Mike]

They are so good.

[Jason]

It's like Pop tarts.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Andy]

There's only a few foods that taste so good that you know how bad they are for you instantly.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Andy]

The first bite, you're like, I am.

[Jason]

What is this?

[Andy]

I am destroying myself. But it's that good. It's hot.

[Jason]

It's got cold icing on it.

[Mike]

You take a whiff, that's 50 calories.

[Jason]

Oh, man.

[Andy]

Yes. A whiff is 50 calories.

[Jason]

Yeah. So I'm strudel me twice and ice cream. All right, so I'VE got a.

[Andy]

Just to come back to the ice cream for a second. You do know that you started the ice cream draft pick by saying, I don't think this will be allowed, or this might not be allowed. So it's somewhere in the recesses of your brain you realize that was not.

[Jason]

Well, the reason is not the recess. It's the fact that it went by Andy Holloway twice.

[Andy]

Correct. That's fair enough.

[Jason]

That's it. Because it made no sense. Nothing made sense.

[Andy]

All right, strudel boy, let's go.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Andy]

You're telling me you don't know another frozen food you like?

[Jason]

No, that's fine. I just.

[Mike]

Will.

[Jason]

I want to say this as clear as possible. I can't get it. You aren't allowing it.

[Mike]

Right.

[Jason]

It is 100% a frozen food.

[Mike]

That's fine.

[Jason]

That's not up for debate. This is not. This is a food you eat that's in the freezer. It's a frozen food. But I understand. I got the one on one, and I'm dominating. So you guys can't have me have that, and that's fine.

[Mike]

Just wait till I draft ice cream.

[Jason]

Yeah. Ice cream sandwich. Yeah, you eat it. Yeah, that's. That's probably fine, right? If I said ice cream sandwich, what would you say? Totally. Okay.

[Mike]

I would have said, it's better, but it's too late now. You already.

[Jason]

You're.

[Mike]

You've dug the hole.

[Jason]

I didn't dig the hole.

[Mike]

You did.

[Jason]

No, I stood on a landmine of stupidity.

[Mike]

Yes, because.

[Jason]

Because Andy knows right now. In his mind, he's like, oh, man. Ice cream sandwich. That's totally okay. That fits.

[Andy]

Anyways, just done so many dessert drafts and things like that. I don't think it was what we meant.

[Jason]

I think what happened is this. Let's peel back the curtain. Let's peel back the curtain. No, no, no. Let's peel back the curtain. This is actually what happened.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Jason]

The original draft was called frozen foods. You get in a box.

[Mike]

Right.

[Jason]

And so that's what you guys were thinking. That's where the mindset was.

[Andy]

Yeah, because that was what we said,

[Jason]

but then we changed the draft to let's just have it be frozen foods.

[Mike]

Right. Because I didn't need people to be like that. Comes in a bag.

[Andy]

Correct.

[Jason]

Right. But I'm just saying the draft we're doing is just frozen foods and ice cream is what I'm going to take. Breakfast sandwiches. Breakfast sandwiches are.

[Mike]

Breakfast sandwiches is very much on the list. They are.

[Andy]

It would have been my next pick.

[Jason]

They are a necessary frozen food because some mornings you just, you don't have time to make a breakfast sandwich. But I got a minute.

[Mike]

How do you, how do you cook them?

[Jason]

Oh, I don't do the stupid, like 40% for this minute.

[Andy]

He doesn't cook them. Heat them straight out of the freezer.

[Jason]

I'm going to wrap it in a paper towel.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Jason]

I'm going to put it in there for a minute.

[Andy]

You don't moisten the paper towel first? No.

[Mike]

Oh, I don't.

[Andy]

Oh, that's a hot tip.

[Mike]

Wait, what?

[Andy]

Yeah, you want to get up. You want to, like, wring out a paper towel and make it just a little bit moist for a soggy breakfast sandwich. You do you, brother.

[Mike]

I mean, you do that with, when you're like, reheating rice and stuff.

[Andy]

Yeah. And with broccoli, you steam it and look, you want a little bit more moisture in that sandwich. I'm just telling you how to do it.

[Jason]

I might try that.

[Andy]

We're not talking soaking wet, just talking a little moisture.

[Mike]

One minute.

[Jason]

One minute. And then it's usually good. Depends on the breakfast sandwich, obviously.

[Mike]

Oh, you're saying it's just done?

[Jason]

It's just done after that.

[Andy]

I thought you got to do.

[Jason]

Maybe you gotta go like a minute

[Mike]

15, because we do the like. Take it apart one minute, close it, wrap it up one minute more.

[Jason]

Yeah, I ain't got time for that.

[Andy]

My pick is breakfast burritos. Is that, Are we good with that?

[Mike]

It's fine.

[Andy]

That's different, right? I had it on, dude. Both of them on the list.

[Mike]

Different. It is.

[Andy]

I mean, it's just, I, I, I'm gonna be honest with you. I like sandwiches more, but it is, it feels a little bit quicker and easier to cook.

[Jason]

Breakfast burritos are more often like. I don't buy breakfast burritos. You steal them. I have purchased frozen burritos, but they're never breakfast. In fact, I don't think.

[Andy]

Oh, come on.

[Jason]

Do they even sell frozen breakfast burritos?

[Mike]

Oh, come on.

[Andy]

Like at Costco? Come on. That's a big business.

[Jason]

No.

[Mike]

Yeah. Jimmy Dean's got breakfast. Do they even have you.

[Jason]

I didn't know that.

[Mike]

Does your pick even exist?

[Jason]

But I'm saying we often so, so many of them. We often make, like, a batch of breakfast burritos and freeze them. That's like the only homemade thing.

[Andy]

Some commercialized place does that as well and makes money off of it.

[Mike]

Yeah, I mean, we can instacart some breakfast burritos right now.

[Andy]

You Might need to buy some of those. Yeah, they're very popular.

[Mike]

You're up. Oh, wait, no. You took breakfast burritos? All right, I. Oh, I get my last two picks. All right, so I got lasagna, got the waffles. I am going to take this one. This one might surprise people because you have. We all have our preconceived notions of what Mac and cheese is supposed to be and that it's the. You know, it's the blue box, and you make it Mac and cheese. The Stouffer's Mac and cheese is delicious.

[Jason]

That was the pick that I was saying earlier. When you use a whole hour, at least you've got a meal to me.

[Mike]

Oh, we nuke it. You can nuke Stouffer's for four minutes, and it's ready to go. There's a single serve.

[Andy]

No, no.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Not the family.

[Mike]

No, not the family one.

[Jason]

That one is single serve. That one just angers me. The big one.

[Mike]

The big Mac and cheese.

[Jason]

The big Mac and cheese. Yeah.

[Mike]

Because they're like, hey, do you want to eat this on Thursday?

[Jason]

Yeah. It takes so long. And then the only time that you're going to make that much of a side is like, Thanksgiving, when it's like, well, I need my oven. Like, I need. I need my oven for other things, not Mac and cheese.

[Andy]

The hard part about foods that are super, super delicious, that are. That take a long time to cook, is it's like, you don't get that satisfaction. I. The amount of times I've pulled a giant frozen Mac and cheese out, then saw how long it's going to take, and then put it back.

[Jason]

It's been the same Mac and cheese in your freezer for years. You take it. Oh, we got a Mac and cheese,

[Andy]

and it was on the list. I mean, it's a great pick. There's nothing wrong with that.

[Mike]

And then.

[Andy]

Not like ice cream.

[Mike]

He.

[Jason]

Andy hates ice cream.

[Mike]

Well, it's not a frozen food. So Andy has. You have breakfast burritos?

[Andy]

Yeah. I mean, it's.

[Mike]

I'm real tempted to go just regular

[Andy]

burritos, but I think that would be fine as it's.

[Mike]

It would be, but you'd be on

[Andy]

my coattails, because I'm already on his coat. That's a double coattails.

[Mike]

I got a. I got a frozen burrito that I got to turn you guys onto. It is gourmet.

[Andy]

You sell them, don't you? You sell the burritos.

[Mike]

I don't.

[Andy]

You're a burrito.

[Mike]

I don't. But there's a local Az place. This is legit frozen.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Okay.

[Mike]

Oh, man.

[Andy]

There's no reason you should have been gatekeeping this.

[Mike]

Well, I'm just letting you know about it right now. I'm gonna go back in the day. I don't do it as much anymore, but as a younger lad, I used to have those chicken pot pies.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Mike]

All the time.

[Andy]

I feel like.

[Mike]

So that's another hour long. How does that thing take an hour to cook? The tiny little single serve.

[Andy]

Those are very.

[Mike]

You're going in the oven to.

[Andy]

When they are done. When you finish the job. It doesn't really seem like a frozen item is. So that says, I love.

[Mike]

I love a chicken pot pie.

[Andy]

I'm going tater tots. I'm going tater tots.

[Jason]

For the last pick, I was thinking I was maybe about to go French fries. That'll take that off for me. But.

[Andy]

Yeah, that's tough. I mean, French fries are hard to. I guess the air fries are solving

[Jason]

a lot of problems.

[Mike]

It really has changed a lot because you.

[Andy]

You remember when. I remember when my mom would be like, we're gonna. I'm gonna do homemade fries tonight. And I'm like, all right, here comes those drip deep fries. I appreciate you, mom, but it's. You don't got the technology. We don't have a deep fryer. But I'm gonna go tater tots, and

[Jason]

I'm going back to the 90s.

[Andy]

Oh, please.

[Jason]

I'm taking frozen dinners.

[Andy]

Oh, okay.

[Jason]

Just whole frozen.

[Mike]

TV dinner.

[Jason]

Yeah, TV dinner. Give me a south berry steak with a little. With a little thing of apple. Nuclear lava.

[Mike]

Apple or brownie?

[Andy]

There's no way that those three containers can have the same temperature.

[Jason]

No, impossible.

[Andy]

One of them's too hot. One of them has a little bit of frozen air.

[Jason]

And it's crazy because I poked holes in one of those like you told me to.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Jason]

This didn't fix the problem.

[Andy]

Yes, you did. Okay.

[Mike]

You told me to put a little slit. I did it.

[Andy]

Honorable mentions that I was really close to taking taquitos.

[Jason]

Oh, taquitos are next. Next up on the list, pizza rolls. I know. I got the frozen pizza.

[Andy]

That would have been fine.

[Jason]

I get that.

[Mike]

But I felt like it's like pizza bites. Pizza bagels. They're all off the table.

[Andy]

Fish sticks, I mean.

[Mike]

Oh, yeah.

[Jason]

Yes, for sure.

[Andy]

Mott sticks.

[Jason]

Mott sticks, for sure.

[Mike]

Corn dogs.

[Andy]

Corn dogs.

[Jason]

Oh, corn dogs are.

[Mike]

Corn dogs.

[Andy]

Would have been a great pick.

[Jason]

Absolutely. Those can go bad in the freezer.

[Andy]

Do you at least.

[Jason]

I did not know that. Yeah, I just tried to have one last weekend.

[Mike]

That's not science.

[Jason]

No, I tried to have one last week, and I took it out, I microwaved it. I did the whole thing, and then I was like, this is not good.

[Andy]

You must at least.

[Jason]

It's been years. I mean, it's been so long. I don't. I think it's moved houses.

[Andy]

That's. That's too long. That's too long. You really should do a reset when you leave the house on the freezer items.

[Mike]

What are we going to bring?

[Jason]

Jason doesn't need to do that because he moves every three months, but he's

[Mike]

like, I'm going to bring the couch. The TV's his. Don't forget the corn dogs. We got to make sure they get to the.

[Andy]

You must at least see how these 12 drafted items have similarities that. That maybe ice cream doesn't have on the draft.

[Jason]

I can't see. They come in a box.

[Andy]

Okay,

[Jason]

what did we learn?

[Andy]

You never had boxed ice cream, brother. That's so good.

[Jason]

I learned that Andy does not like ice cream.

[Andy]

There you go. There you go. I learned that you didn't know what a breakfast burrito was. That's crazy.

[Jason]

I feel like I've just never seen them.

[Andy]

I looked it up. It's only a 2.1.

[Jason]

I looked it up. I see the Jimmy Dean breakfast burrito.

[Mike]

When you go to the grocery store and you're buying your frozen breakfast sandwiches, look right next to them.

[Jason]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andy]

And the instinct you have to make them with your family and freeze them. That's what the. The, like, big, big food does.

[Jason]

Dude. We make them because I didn't know they exist.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Andy]

You could grab them, brother.

[Mike]

Learned that Jason went to turkey.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And got a hair transplant.

[Jason]

Work in progress.

[Andy]

Eight months, huh?

[Jason]

From now.

[Andy]

Okay, For a full stamo, we'll keep our eyes on it.

[Jason]

Goodbye.

[Andy]

Keep the shorts.

[Jason]

Thanks for listening to the Spitballers podcast. Podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out spitballerspod.com.

[Andy]

And Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual, even if

[Jason]

it means sitting front row at a comedy show.

[Andy]

Hey, everyone, Check out this guy and his bird. What is this, your first date?

[Mike]

Oh, no.

[Andy]

We help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual together. We're married. Me to a human, him to a bird.

[Jason]

Yeah, the bird looks out of your league.

[Andy]

Anyways, get a [e-mail] or with your local agent.

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