Smartphone Struggles & Food To Eat Without Utensils - Comedy Podcast

Summary

Spitballers Comedy Podcast: "Smartphone Struggles & Food To Eat Without Utensils"

Date: March 24, 2025
Hosts: Andy, Mike, Jason
Episode Theme:
This episode revolves around two hilarious, relatable topics: the impact of smartphones on everyday life and the all-important question of the best foods to eat without utensils. The Spitballers trio blend comedic banter, absurd hypotheticals, and surprising philosophical depth as they draft hand-held foods and debate whether the world would be better off if smartphones vanished.

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Main Segments Overview

• Scat Intro & Banter (01:12–03:49)
• Would You Rather (04:54–19:00)
  • Forced Talking/Walking & Life Without Smartphones
  • Rotten Milk Thought Experiment
• What's the Difference? (24:07–37:53)
  • Usually vs. Typically vs. Most of the Time
  • "In the Air" vs. "In the Sky"
  • Steps vs. Instructions vs. Directions
• Spitballers Draft: Foods to Eat Without Utensils (39:49–56:12)
• Audience Poll & Reflection (15:29–21:28, 45:55–46:02, 58:03)

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1. Scat Intro & Opening Banter

The show opens with a now-traditional 'scat' music intro and immediate deconstruction of the silliness of their opening format. Mike expresses pride in a previous musical idea, Andy relishes not doing his usual scat, and Jason jokes about redeeming the intro through "bebopping and scat dancing."

Memorable moment:

• Andy: “The first time when it was my turn to do the intro scat, where I was genuinely happy...I knew the whole time I ain't doing it.” (02:26)

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2. Would You Rather

a) Talk Only When Walking or Walk Only When Talking?

Prompt: Would you rather only be able to talk if you are walking, or only be able to walk if you are talking?

• The trio explores the logistics and social nightmares of both conditions, e.g., talking on planes, police stops, and testifying in court.
• Jason: “Your honor, do you mind if I pace around?” (07:57)
• They imagine a “Treadmill Studio” for podcasting if forced to walk while talking.
• Consensus: Silent walking may be the lesser evil.

b) World With or Without Smartphones?

Prompt: Knowing what you know now, would you choose a world with smartphones or without?

• Jason (quickly): “I think I would wipe them off the planet.” (08:31)
• Andy and Mike agree the convenience is immense but the societal cost is evident.
  • Andy: “But it’s also destroyed our entire society.” (09:23)
• The guys discuss dependency: boarding passes, concert tickets, Uber, banking apps.
• Jason notes job shifts, both positive and negative.
• They mourn the death of “dumb phones”—calling/txt-only devices.
• Mike: “There’s a difference — can you get people to admit there are huge problems with phones? Yes. Can you get them to give up their phone? No.” (14:02)
• Discussion of kids and school phones. Beepers get a nostalgic shout-out.

Live Poll

Andy tweets the question and takes predictions:

• Jason bets: "64% get rid of them."
• Mike: "70% keep them."
• Result (16:17, checked later at 45:55): Around 60%+ vote to get rid of smartphones (Andy: "We have 59%. Get rid of them is winning!"). Audience is heavily skewed toward deletion, which surprises even the hosts.

---

3. "What's the Difference?"

A quintessentially 'Spitballers' segment parsing out everyday language:

a) Usually vs. Typically vs. Most of the Time (24:31–28:44)

• “Most of the time” is most definitive—over 50%, usually used for 60%+, and “typically” has a society-comparison flavor.
• Andy: "Typically is not a ‘me’ thing. Typically is a world-at-large thing.” (25:58)
• Mike: “Typical can be used as an insult.” (27:47)

b) In the Air vs. In the Sky (29:01–34:09)

• Comically debated in terms of height: is the sky where you can’t jump to? Where the tallest skyscraper ends? Or where oxygen thins? Mike jokes, "If you can't jump and touch it, it's in the sky," but Andy points out that's way too low.
• The 26,000’ altitude for life/breathable air is cited, and they laugh about "sky" being constantly redefined as human buildings get taller.

c) Steps vs. Instructions vs. Directions (34:51–37:53)

• Steps: finite, simple (“You can’t have 35 steps”).
• Instructions: complex, usually written/manuals.
• Directions: can be verbal, not limited to navigation; can be “of the heart or mind.”
• Off-the-rails but hilarious, ending with Jason: "You ever in life been looking for direction?" Andy: "Still am, man. Still am." (37:49–37:51)

---

4. The Spitballers Draft: Foods To Eat Without Utensils

Draft Structure: Build a full meal—entree, two sides, and a dessert—all hand-eaten.

Draft Picks

Andy (First Pick)

• Entree: Pizza — “Pizza should be utensil-less." (41:25)
• Dessert: Churro
• Side 1: Chips and salsa
• Side 2: Cheese curds

Jason

• Entree: Burger — “Burger, fries, and ice cream—I am as American as they come.” (50:18)
• Dessert: Ice cream cone — “No utensils: you thought I couldn’t get ice cream? Yes I can.” (46:03)
• Side 1: French fries
• Side 2: Mozzarella sticks

Mike

• Entree: Burrito — “Peak non-utensil food.” (51:42)
• Dessert: Chocolate chip cookies
• Side 1: Wings (dry rub, preferably lemon pepper. Odes about not using utensils.)
• Side 2: Deviled eggs — “Deviled eggs are so good...we have a rule: if it’s on the menu, you get it.” (50:52)

Draft Banter Highlights:

• Debate over wings as a side and flavors (43:25–44:10).
• Reverence for dry rub over saucy fingers (Andy: “...If this is for without utensils, all the better!").
• Cheesy sides (mozzarella sticks, cheese curds) get compared and differentiated in detail by region, cheese, and temperature (54:13–55:41).
• Honorable mentions: hot dogs, popcorn, fruit, corn on the cob (“corn holders” debated as utensils), and donuts.

---

5. Audience Poll Update & Reflection

• The poll closes with roughly 60% (exact: 60.9%) voting to delete smartphones if given the chance (58:03).
• Hosts reflect on generational differences: younger people (teens) might not vote that way; their equivalents were probably video games for their own generation.

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6. Notable Quotes & Comedy Highlights

• Jason: “It’s destroyed our entire society—and everybody knows it.” (09:23–09:28)
• Andy: “Typical can only be based on a standard.” (28:57)
• Mike (on deviled eggs): “Deviled eggs, it’s called devil for a reason, because it visits you on both sides.” (51:22)
• Andy (on the draft): “I should have just ordered the trio, you know?”
• Jason: "The sky can't be below you!" | Andy retorts: "Of course it can, if you're in an airplane." (30:15–30:28)
• Mike: "You ever in life been looking for direction?" | Andy: "Still am, man. Still am." (37:49–37:51)
• Closing learning summary:
  • Andy: "I learned that the sky starts at 2,717ft but is about to move up."
  • Jason: "At least among our generation, a majority would like to delete all phones off the planet."

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7. Key Timestamps

• 01:32 – Show start; intro banter/scat discussion
• 04:54–08:09 – Would You Rather: talk/walk paradox
• 08:11–21:28 – Would You Rather: erase smartphones; poll discussion
• 16:17 & 45:55 – Live poll updates on smartphone abolition
• 24:07–37:53 – What's the Difference? language games
• 39:49–56:12 – Draft: Foods to Eat Without Utensils
• 58:03 – Final poll results and episode reflections

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8. Episode Tone & Takeaways

• Language & Tone: Goofy, fast-paced, clever, sometimes unexpectedly thoughtful; quintessential Spitballers chaos—comedy with “more thought than [topics] probably deserve.”
• Useful for New Listeners:
  • A solid gateway episode: the most universal themes (smartphones, food) are made fresh with dad-humor and real insight.
  • The food draft is both useful and hilarious, with real-life takeaways about how we eat.
  • The social commentary on smartphones feels both timely and reflective.

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For those who haven’t listened:
This episode is classic Spitballers—irreverent, clever, and full of debates that somehow get both ridiculous and shockingly deep. The trio’s dad-core chemistry makes even linguistic nitpicking engaging, and you'll walk away sincerely questioning whether you could really let go of your phone, and more importantly, what you'd draft for your true hand-held feast.

Transcript

[Andy]

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[Andy]

What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers podcast with Andy, Mike and Jason.

[Mike]

That felt so good.

[Andy]

Oh, I gotta hand it to you, Mike.

[Mike]

Yeah, I figured. I knew when I unveiled that idea.

[Andy]

To the world that two things that were great. One, your idea last week about just not doing it. Oh man, that freedom, it was powerful. But two, I didn't realize how nice that music was. We're covering up some beauty that you made with garbage. I'm telling you, I've never been happier.

[Jason]

I was literally thinking, I was like, this week I'm going to fully redeem the scat because we've. Other than Mike, you and I have been really scraping the bottom of the scat barrel, as we call it.

[Andy]

Yeah, well, I think I just redeemed the heck out of it.

[Jason]

So you and you just for those listening, because that's the majority of you, Jason was bebopping and scat dancing the whole time. He was dead silent. I kept waiting for something.

[Andy]

The first time when it was my turn to do the intro scat, where I was genuinely happy.

[Jason]

Yeah, you were happy.

[Andy]

I was just like, go watch the YouTube and you will see a happy person. Because I knew the whole time I ain't doing it.

[Jason]

Yeah, it was. So, Mike, you got any thoughts after what you brought last week?

[Mike]

I mean, I guess I closed us out on a high note.

[Andy]

There were a Lot of people that said yours was the best yet last week.

[Mike]

Yeah, it was the final. Yeah.

[Andy]

I guess we'll find out next week if it was the final.

[Jason]

Al could scout for us each week.

[Andy]

Oh, man, it does sound.

[Jason]

And then we'll just mouth it like.

[Andy]

We'Re doing it pretty good.

[Jason]

Spitballers Episode 319 welcome in. I'm sure we're going to hear some feedback on that. Would you rather. What's the difference? And today we're drafting foods to eat without utensils. So we don't actually know if it's a free for all draft or if. If Jason's going to make us choose.

[Andy]

To build and construct a specific meal. I have the power. I'm going to. I'm going to decide, live during the draft what we're doing. Yeah, okay.

[Jason]

That'll be fun.

[Andy]

It'll be a real Medieval Times situation.

[Mike]

Well, yeah, because we got.

[Jason]

Gotta eat with your hands.

[Mike]

We got nature's utensils. Yeah.

[Jason]

Some things that they work well for. Other things, not so much.

[Andy]

Hands.

[Jason]

Hands. Yeah. I mean, other things you need.

[Mike]

For eating.

[Jason]

Yeah, for eating.

[Andy]

Okay. I just thought you were talking about everything in the world. It's like, yeah, some things they work very well for. They're not helpful for flying.

[Jason]

We got like, we got Frosties yesterday and it was like, hey, can I have a spoon? And I was thinking, oh, a fork would be pretty bad, but no, utility.

[Mike]

Would be even worse. A fork would be better. Yeah, you can manage.

[Jason]

Yeah. So.

[Andy]

French fries. The right utensil there, though.

[Jason]

Oh, are you a French fry?

[Andy]

Oh, in a Frosty? Heck, yeah.

[Mike]

I dip my fries in the Frosty.

[Jason]

I'm not. Not so much. I mean, it's fine. But some people get real, like, it's their identity. Like, this is who I am. I'm a French fried Frosty guy.

[Mike]

Unfortunately, that's where we got like. It was just. It was a cool thing that we all knew about. And it was from time to time.

[Jason]

Fry here, a fry there.

[Mike]

Yeah, it's fine.

[Jason]

But no, Jason's one of those guys.

[Andy]

I am. That is who I am.

[Jason]

All right, off to. Would you rather.

[Mike]

Would you rather Timothy Chalame?

[Jason]

It's kind of spelled that way. T H E E. Timothy. Would you rather only be able to talk if you are walking or only be able to walk if you are talking?

[Mike]

Walk it like you talk it.

[Andy]

Huh?

[Jason]

Wow. That is. Talk if you're walking or only be able to walk if you are talking.

[Mike]

Does the rule apply to everyone?

[Jason]

No, Like a.

[Andy]

That's just you.

[Mike]

So it was about to be. I was about to put us into a utopia.

[Jason]

What situation would you be in where you need to reply but you're not in a good position to walk? Anything in a vehicle. Like, if you tried to get out of the vehicle and the cop pulls you over and they're like. They're like, what? You know, give me your name. Give me your name and insurance. And then you're like.

[Mike]

You just start sweating.

[Jason]

Yeah, you, sir, answer me right now. And you're like, you gotta get up.

[Andy]

Could you. Yes. You just open the door?

[Jason]

Yeah, you'd have to open the door.

[Andy]

Oh, man, you don't want to do that.

[Jason]

You're getting tased.

[Andy]

Oh, for sure.

[Jason]

At best.

[Andy]

Yes. You're hoping you get tased.

[Mike]

Oh, my God.

[Andy]

That is. That would be a real problem. I mean, can you mouth, like, if.

[Jason]

You'Re on an airplane being asked what kind of drink you want?

[Andy]

Oh, I don't get drinks anymore.

[Jason]

No, you'd have to get up and.

[Andy]

Like, I declare, just walk in place.

[Jason]

It's at least doable the other way around.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Andy]

You could point to something in the menu.

[Mike]

Or you could point. Or I'm saying, like, the server. They go back. That's when you get up real quick. I changed my mind.

[Andy]

Right.

[Mike]

And I get this.

[Jason]

If you flip it and let's say you do need to go to the bathroom on an airplane, from the moment you stand up, you got to start talking.

[Andy]

You better.

[Jason]

I'm going to the bathroom right now. I'm going to go number one, two. Here. I go to the bathroom. I hope I use this door over here.

[Mike]

1.

[Andy]

You don't have to sing, just so you know.

[Jason]

No, I just, like, sing songy. No, sing songy.

[Mike]

Okay. So one way, you're just. You're.

[Jason]

Man.

[Mike]

I guess both ways. You're annoying.

[Jason]

Yeah, you're less annoying. If you.

[Andy]

Now think about our job here, fellas.

[Jason]

Oh, we'd have to get some.

[Andy]

We gotta get a whole new line of work.

[Jason]

Treadmill Studio, bro. Oh, all right.

[Andy]

We could do it.

[Jason]

Treadmill Studio.

[Andy]

I was gonna say we sit and talk a lot.

[Jason]

Is treadmill a good workaround there, Al? Is that okay?

[Mike]

Of course. For sure.

[Jason]

You're walking, right?

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Jason]

It's not.

[Mike]

You have to cover distance.

[Andy]

That'd be very good for our health. It would if we were spending, you know.

[Jason]

Oh, that's the one to go with.

[Andy]

A couple hours a day doing a light walk.

[Jason]

Oh, our shows would be 15 minutes long. You know, Jason, be like, let's Wrap it up.

[Mike]

We get 10 minutes.

[Andy]

I was gonna say the audio quality would be really bad.

[Mike]

I think.

[Andy]

Yeah. I mean, I don't think so.

[Mike]

Anyway, what's the deal?

[Jason]

Yeah, so I guess. I guess I'll go with the one that. I mean, testifying in court, that'd be trouble, too.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Your Honor, do you mind if I pace around?

[Mike]

Please, have a seat.

[Jason]

Oh, man.

[Andy]

I'm going to take the silent walking.

[Mike]

Yeah, that's what I'm going with.

[Jason]

Bowen, from the website. Knowing what you know now, if you had the power to flip the switch, would you rather live in a world with smartphones or a world without smartphones? Deep. Do the pros outweigh the cons, or would you wipe them off the planet?

[Andy]

Deep.

[Jason]

I mean, I have a quick answer.

[Andy]

I think your quick answer is you would wipe them off the planet.

[Jason]

Yeah. As somebody who uses and loves his own smartphone, I would. I think I would wipe them off the planet.

[Mike]

Wow.

[Andy]

I. I think you're right to think that way. Like, obviously, I use it all the time. Every human does. It's here.

[Mike]

It's a tool. Well, I mean, you kind of have no choice now.

[Jason]

This is why the amount of things.

[Mike]

That your phone does.

[Jason]

No, you're very dependent on it. Even things like, I mean, most tickets, you want to go to a concert, you got to bring your phone because it's on. You know, the tickets are on your phone.

[Andy]

I'm flying this afternoon. I've got, you know, boarding pass. Boarding pass already loaded. I don't want to go to a kiosk and print out paper like the 1900s.

[Jason]

So, yeah, there are some conveniences that I think we would have a hard time adjusting to not having.

[Andy]

But it's also destroyed our entire society.

[Jason]

And everybody knows it.

[Andy]

Yeah, everyone knows it, but we're addicted. And when you're addicted and interdependent on it, I mean, the only way to.

[Jason]

Do this is to wipe them all at once.

[Andy]

Yes.

[Jason]

You can have some people that have the advantage of having a phone.

[Andy]

Got to be a level playing field. Got to get rid of the greed on the other side. But there are entire industries that would be gone.

[Jason]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mike]

Lots of people who have jobs just because of phones.

[Andy]

Yeah. I mean, like, Uber, like us, Right?

[Mike]

Sure, sure.

[Jason]

Well, there's also a lot of people who don't have jobs now because of phones that did have jobs.

[Mike]

Well, they got to update with the times. I mean, get with it.

[Jason]

I don't. It doesn't matter what it is. If it's what we deposit our checks on our phones now. Right. So we're not, we don't have to hire as many tellers at the bank.

[Mike]

Yeah, but the ATM or what was that?

[Jason]

And that's convenient.

[Mike]

ATM took care of that.

[Jason]

I mean, I think.

[Mike]

Were you, were you a. I was.

[Jason]

An in the bank guy.

[Mike]

So I'm saying would you deposit a check into an atm?

[Jason]

I never have never done it once.

[Andy]

Never.

[Jason]

Would you never have either?

[Mike]

Nope. My wife is adamant of never ever do that.

[Jason]

So you're a big ATM depositor.

[Mike]

Yeah, it's great, guys. I don't have to talk to anybody. And in fact I have had consequences of trying to cash a check. I went and was like, ah, okay, I'm not going to do the atmosphere. I'll do the drive up. And then I got stuck.

[Jason]

I don't do drive up either.

[Mike]

Okay, well it's the same difference if.

[Jason]

You go inside and stare at him right in the eyes.

[Mike]

But I'm saying the person was, oh well, hold on, we got to go get somebody else to help out here. That would have happened inside regardless. And then I, I was stuck in line at the drive thru bank for over 30 minutes and I could have just plopped that thing in the atm.

[Andy]

You do the.

[Mike]

Waited a day.

[Andy]

You do the virtual one now on your phone.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Okay. Yeah, that's. See that feels safer to me because I still have the check. So if something doesn't go right, putting it in the ATM where I don't see a person. But also that's what he said. I gave my check away.

[Mike]

Yeah, but that's what I do.

[Andy]

But they, I'm saying that's terrible.

[Mike]

Right. And when you hit. At least now when you do that and you hit. I would like a receipt. They print your, the checks right there on the receipt.

[Jason]

Well, you're keeping up with ATM technology. But back to the phone question.

[Mike]

It's been around for a while, guys.

[Jason]

Yeah. I think to make it deep for two seconds. I think we as a society believe fundamentally somehow that convenience is the supreme, most valuable. And so we're always going to create iterations in technology to make convenience supreme.

[Andy]

Not just convenience, but also entertainment.

[Jason]

Right.

[Andy]

Like I don't go to the bathroom without a phone. I don't.

[Mike]

Oh my goodness. I'll be done so fast.

[Andy]

I don't know. Yeah, I mean, I'll have to go.

[Mike]

Out and be back with my family.

[Andy]

Then I would have to wipe so quick.

[Jason]

So. Yeah. Wipe the phones off the planet.

[Andy]

Oh my gosh.

[Jason]

Wipe them off the planet.

[Andy]

I think that most people. I'm curious. We do the. What do we call the Duck Duck Goose game.

[Jason]

Guess, Guess Goose.

[Andy]

Guess Guess Goose. A way different name. Just couldn't remember. I knew it was something like that. The Guess Guess Goose. You set a line of what you think people believe in a situation. I wonder what we believe people would say if you. If you pull. In fact, I'm gonna put this tweet out right now and ask questions.

[Mike]

It's gonna be generational.

[Jason]

If you got a text, everyone in the world gets a text message, and it says, you can wipe all the phones off the planet. And the only way this happens, you can vote yes or no, but the only way that it happens is everybody loses their phone. I wonder if it'd be a majority.

[Andy]

I think it'll be a majority.

[Jason]

I believe they just disappear.

[Andy]

I think that almost everybody can recognize that we, the world, ourselves, individuals would all be happier without them.

[Jason]

You know what's funny, though, is a dumb phone wasn't that way, though. Like a cell. A dumb cell phone. Like a cell phone that just did phone calls. Yeah, that was. It didn't impact society the same way.

[Andy]

Oh, of course not.

[Jason]

Because you can't be preoccupied with it. You just get a phone call. You don't get a phone call. It doesn't matter.

[Andy]

Yeah. And you can't even text. I mean, that would be probably the biggest.

[Jason]

I think most people. Most people probably want to keep them, huh?

[Mike]

Yes.

[Andy]

I think the majority. I think the majority.

[Jason]

None of us have a problem.

[Mike]

There's a difference. There's the. Can you get people to admit that there are. There are huge problems in society now because of the phone? I bet you can get the overwhelming majority of. Of adults to agree with that. We'll say, yeah, they are. And they'll say, okay, can we get rid of them? And they'll go, no, we cannot, because I got certain things that I can't live without personally. So I'm willing to keep the giant societal problem so I have my phone.

[Jason]

You're 100% right. Because you see this in schools already. We all know that kids shouldn't have them in school. Everybody knows how bad that is. But parents still fight for their kid to keep their phone because they want constant communication with their kid or to feel like their kid is safe. They can text you at any minute.

[Mike]

Yep. Even though.

[Andy]

Back to beepers.

[Jason]

Oh, man. I never got one. I was so jealous.

[Andy]

What a loser. Yeah.

[Mike]

Beeper it was. We were. We were living large.

[Andy]

It was a tiny little sliver.

[Jason]

Of society.

[Mike]

Yeah. Of time.

[Jason]

A trapped portion of time.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Where it was like, did you have a chain?

[Andy]

I did. You had a beeper on my chain.

[Mike]

I had to add a little tiny little pager chain that connected my belt loop.

[Jason]

How often did you. Did the beeper get used?

[Mike]

Oh, my gosh.

[Jason]

Were your parents hitting that up all the time to get you home or something?

[Mike]

No, not my parents, but this is how we would.

[Jason]

Your friends.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Andy]

All right, so I want your guys prediction 80008, man.

[Mike]

Because we were hilarious.

[Andy]

Yeah. Okay, so I tweeted this out with the same verbiage. Knowing what you know now. Oh, yeah, yeah. The same verbiage, which is now covered up. If you had the power to. To flip the switch, would you rather live in a world with smartphones or without smartphones? I said keep them or get rid of them. I want your predictions on what the vote's gonna come in at.

[Jason]

Okay. Like. Cause you'll check it.

[Andy]

Because I'll check it.

[Mike]

You did this on Twitter.

[Andy]

Correct to my.

[Jason]

Give me the wording again. Give me the wording again.

[Andy]

So knowing what you know now, if you had the power to flip the switch, would you rather live in a world with smartphones or without smartphones? Option one, keep them. Option two, get rid of them.

[Jason]

Your audience on Twitter. 64 to get rid of them.

[Andy]

I'm going.

[Mike]

I'm going. 70 plus is a keep.

[Andy]

Okay, so we got different sides of the channel.

[Jason]

Let's check in later. Yeah, check in later. All right. Vanessa from Patreon, Would you rather constantly have the taste of rotten milk in your mouth?

[Andy]

Oh, what? Or go from deep philosophy to rotten milk.

[Jason]

That is the essence of this show. Or the smell of rotten milk on your nose?

[Andy]

Oh, man.

[Jason]

I mean, those are disgusting.

[Andy]

The smell of rotten milk is worse now. Maybe. I don't think I know what the flavor of rotten.

[Jason]

You're really getting the game.

[Andy]

The smell of rotten milk has stopped me from ever experiencing the flavor of rotten milk.

[Jason]

I have. Yeah, I've smelled rotten milk a lot more than I've tasted it, and I.

[Mike]

Have those on accident.

[Andy]

Yeah, like you put it in cereal and you were chewing your milk.

[Jason]

Sometimes it's. No, not to that degree, but sometimes the.

[Mike]

It's chonky.

[Jason]

Sometimes the date's just wrong. Maybe somebody had left it out on the counter or something and you didn't know. And then you take one bite of cereal. I had an experience the other day where my wife had a smoothie that she had made the day before that was still sitting on the counter. And I thought it was the smoothie.

[Andy]

I had made that morning.

[Mike]

Oh.

[Andy]

Al Borland, how was the taste? Taste of rotten milk?

[Jason]

It's not good, bro. Oh, man. So did you.

[Mike]

Oh, no.

[Jason]

Did you just spit it out or did you drink some of it? No, I did not swallow any of it. I spit it out.

[Mike]

Okay. How much?

[Andy]

And were you alerted to only by the flavor.

[Jason]

As soon as it hit the tongue.

[Andy]

There was something off.

[Mike]

How full is this smoothie?

[Andy]

It was about three quarters of the way full.

[Mike]

3 quarter full smoothie that was left out? Yeah.

[Andy]

Just got busy and left it on the counter.

[Jason]

That's.

[Andy]

So was it probably the same style cup? Was it the temperature that got you.

[Jason]

No, no.

[Andy]

The flavor, you're telling me is. That's awful.

[Jason]

They're using some fresh ingredients in that house that have gone bad.

[Andy]

Wow.

[Mike]

And what was your retaliation?

[Andy]

Tbd.

[Jason]

Okay.

[Andy]

Still working on a plan.

[Mike]

I don't put it under a pillow.

[Jason]

I think that I'm not gonna get sick, physically ill and throw up and have problems from smelling it. I'm going to have those problems from drinking it and eating it.

[Mike]

It'll be equal.

[Jason]

But taste and smell are connected.

[Mike]

That's what I mean. They are no matter what. This is a lose, lose, lose.

[Jason]

If you have the smell of rotten milk in your nose and you plug your nose, that's no way around this. It's like a permanent.

[Mike]

You're going to smell it through your mouth.

[Andy]

Oh, man. I don't know what the taste of rotten milk is.

[Jason]

And obviously, Jeremy, you've never tasted rotten milk.

[Andy]

I can't recall it. Maybe I have in the past, but I can't recall it.

[Jason]

Interesting.

[Andy]

I know exactly, and I think everybody listening knows exactly the smell of milk that's gone bad. If something got left in a place I can smell in the entire room, if there is the specific smell of milk or dairy that has gone bad is unacceptable. I can't take that.

[Jason]

Is the reason you've never tasted that. Do you treat your milk like you do your socks? Where you want a new pair every day? Do you just open it up, pour your bowl, and throw the rest of it away?

[Andy]

Yeah, of course.

[Jason]

And then open up a new milk every time?

[Andy]

I'm definitely. If the expiration date says it's today, yeah.

[Jason]

I'm curious. Are you?

[Andy]

No, dad. Going down a drain.

[Jason]

I will drink it on that day. But I would do it.

[Andy]

I bet you drink it after you're doing a smell test, huh? It's like three days expired you're gonna smell that thing.

[Jason]

I won't go past the date.

[Andy]

You won't? Okay, good man. Good man.

[Jason]

My wife will.

[Andy]

Oh, I know so many people that are like it. You know, the date.

[Jason]

It's like a form of bravery to them.

[Andy]

The date is like, look at me. You know, in some anarchy, we know that the expiration date is really just a best buy. It's not only that, but it's a marketing tool. It's a way to get you to throw it out and buy more and all that.

[Mike]

There's.

[Andy]

There's truth to that.

[Jason]

I'll eat some chips. I'm going to eat potato chips past the date. I don't care. That's not going to.

[Andy]

Are they stale? Are they not stale? That's the only thing that matters for potato chips. But not milk.

[Jason]

Not milk, not meat.

[Mike]

Stale chips aren't going to make you sick.

[Jason]

Right.

[Mike]

They're just going to be gross.

[Jason]

But yeah, like deli meat, lunch meat. Past the date.

[Mike]

No way.

[Jason]

Get that slimy mess out of here.

[Andy]

All right, I'm going to check back.

[Mike]

In with the poll.

[Andy]

We're over 4,000 votes here, and we have 59%. Oh, he's pumping his fist because he thinks he got it right. And he did get rid of them. The majority of people right now are saying get rid of them.

[Jason]

So that's almost exactly what I predicted.

[Andy]

Yeah, almost.

[Jason]

Well, I was trying to think like your audience was not. If you polled people that were teenagers, people that were 15 to 20, they're not getting that result.

[Andy]

They don't understand the life without it. Correct.

[Jason]

Yeah. What was like that for our generation then? What was something that we fundamentally needed that our parents would have fundamentally gotten rid of? Would it have been TV or movies?

[Mike]

Yeah, but tv, Nintendo.

[Jason]

Well, okay.

[Mike]

Video games.

[Jason]

Video games is the right answer. I feel like TV was actually embraced by our parents generation, because that's back when you'd have one TV and they'd watch it. Like the family would get around the tv. Yeah, but video games.

[Andy]

Yeah, I think it would be video games. And they probably would have said no.

[Mike]

How many votes did you say you got on there, Jay?

[Andy]

Oh, that was views. I see it now. A thousand votes, but it's still. I'll check back in.

[Mike]

It's still way under 4000.

[Andy]

I'll check back in at the end of the episode.

[Jason]

Misread it. All right, we'll take a break. We'll get into what's the difference.

[Mike]

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[Jason]

What's the difference between me and you? Me and you. All right. We are experts at Telling you the difference between three things. So let's begin here. What is the difference? Pay close attention here. What is the difference between usually typically and most of the time?

[Mike]

Usually, Usually most of the time is most of the time.

[Jason]

Typically, most of the time. So if I said to you, mike, I always drink. Wait, let me try this.

[Mike]

Always.

[Andy]

Always is every time. Yeah.

[Mike]

I mean, yeah, you're right.

[Jason]

Not really.

[Mike]

Not the.

[Jason]

I usually drink coffee in the mornings.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Jason]

Or I drink coffee in the mornings most of the time. Which one is more?

[Mike]

Ooh, between usually and most of the time?

[Jason]

I usually drink coffee in the mornings or I drink coffee most of the time.

[Mike]

I think most of the time is more than usual.

[Jason]

It sounds more definitive.

[Andy]

Yes, most of the time. Guarantee of a majority.90 at the very least. It's a guarantee of a majority because that's what it means. Usually can imply it, but it doesn't seem like a guarantee. If I say I usually eat cereal in the morning, you don't. Maybe that could be 40%.

[Jason]

Let me do it this way. 365 days in a year, you drink coffee most of the time in the morning. How many days a year do you drink it?

[Mike]

300 plus.

[Jason]

300 plus Jason. So 300 out of 365, you'd be able to somebody. Yeah, that's most of the time.

[Andy]

That's the number that comes to mind.

[Jason]

I usually drink coffee in the morning. How many days of that365 are you drinking coffee?

[Mike]

Oh, usually.

[Jason]

It's got to be more than half.

[Mike]

250 for. Usually. Yeah. 250 is pretty good.

[Jason]

I typically drink coffee.

[Andy]

Typically is not usually.

[Jason]

It's not in the same category.

[Andy]

No, it typically is not like a me thing. Typically is a world at large thing. It's, you know, it's. It's like, why you guys. We don't know where you're going.

[Mike]

Yeah, I don't. Because you can't just say, I typically do this, because then that's not the world large.

[Jason]

That is very typically to me. Typically.

[Andy]

I'm not saying you can't say it. I'm saying that typically you buy what.

[Jason]

Comes through your Instagram feed.

[Andy]

I mean, people could say, like, I do, you know, good at something too, but they're just using the word improperly. Superman does good. So I think typically talks about more.

[Jason]

Oh, I see what you're saying. Like, it's typical of a society.

[Andy]

Exactly.

[Jason]

So you're saying, typically people drink coffee in the morning.

[Mike]

I am my own society, though.

[Andy]

We know that. We know that. You may use typically that.

[Mike]

I'm saying typically. Society believes they are their own.

[Jason]

Society typically implies.

[Andy]

That is also true.

[Jason]

What is typical? And typical is the most often done thing.

[Andy]

Yeah. So on society, on a societal level.

[Jason]

But something to be typical on a societal level has to be above 90%.

[Mike]

Is there anything with like.

[Jason]

That's very typical.

[Andy]

It has to be more than one.

[Jason]

Like. Let me put it this way, for society's sake, typically people stop at stop signs.

[Mike]

Okay, Right, agreed.

[Jason]

What percentage of people have to stop at stop signs for that to be true? 80%. 90%? I think it's 90.

[Andy]

I think it's 75.

[Jason]

So you think 75 is typical?

[Andy]

I'm saying that can be typical.

[Jason]

That's very typical. So it's typical for people to have five fingers on their hand, not six. So 25% of people can have six fingers on their hand. And that is.

[Andy]

That is. That would be very atypical if they had six fingers.

[Mike]

Is there anything to that? Typical can be used as an insult. Where the other words. You're like, hey, where was Jason?

[Andy]

Oh, he was.

[Mike]

He's in the bathroom. Typical.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Mike]

I'm not like, usual like, oh, Jason's in the bathroom. He went to the time.

[Jason]

That's true.

[Mike]

It's not carrying. It's not packing.

[Jason]

Typical is more of an insult. Jason's at the Nickelback concert.

[Mike]

Typical. Yeah.

[Andy]

Love.

[Jason]

Typical.

[Andy]

Love me some Nickelback. It's the only thing I know.

[Jason]

Did we figure out.

[Mike]

No, we got most of the time usually nailed.

[Jason]

Typically, we get.

[Andy]

Typically we get about two thirds. Correct. Okay. So I think we're.

[Mike]

I think you.

[Jason]

I'm gonna be honest, I think you derailed the crap out of us with this whole society versus individual thing. But I understand where you're coming from.

[Andy]

When something is typical, it is not just a percentage.

[Jason]

It is comparative.

[Andy]

Yeah, it's comparative. Exactly. It's comparative. That's what it was. No, not necessarily societal, but. But it's comparative. Whereas, you know, the others can. They don't have to.

[Jason]

It can only be typical based on a standard.

[Andy]

Exactly.

[Jason]

I think we nailed all three.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Jason]

All right. What is the difference between something being in the air and being in the sky? That is our. What's the difference?

[Andy]

Height.

[Jason]

Height being in the air.

[Mike]

Yeah, the sky's up there.

[Andy]

The sky's way up there. Way. I can catch a little bit of air. Yeah, it is. It's also up there. Yeah, but the sky's not down here.

[Jason]

The air up there.

[Andy]

Yes, but the sky's not down here.

[Mike]

No, it's up there.

[Andy]

The air is up there, and the air is down here. But the sky is only.

[Jason]

What's the. Is it an amount of feet?

[Andy]

I think it's. Can you see the horizon from where you're at? You have to be high enough to be able to see the entire horizon.

[Mike]

But you could just be out in. Looking out into the ocean. And I can see the horizon.

[Jason]

Let me just.

[Mike]

And I'm on the ground.

[Jason]

Okay, let me. Let me lay this out.

[Andy]

Not the perfect barometer.

[Jason]

If you're on the ground right here, you're also on the ground at the top of Mount Everest. But from the ground, the top of Mount Everest area is the sky. Yes, but if you're on Mount Everest, is it above you or is the sky below you?

[Mike]

Well, the sky's still above you. There's still enough sky.

[Andy]

Well, there's. The sky is obviously also above you. But isn't the sky also below you?

[Jason]

No, you're standing here.

[Mike]

Never be below you.

[Jason]

But how many feet is that? Like 18,000ft up in the air?

[Andy]

Sky can be below you. No, of course it can. If you're in an airplane.

[Jason]

Yeah, if you're in an airplane, Mike.

[Andy]

The sky is not also below you.

[Jason]

Still only above you.

[Mike]

If you're in an airplane, you're in the sky.

[Jason]

You are in the sky because there are.

[Andy]

No, you're not under the sky, but.

[Mike]

You'Re unnaturally in the sky.

[Andy]

Yeah, but you're not. It's not a mountain, but you're not under the sky.

[Mike]

There's still sky above me.

[Andy]

Sure, I said that. But there's also sky below you.

[Jason]

Can you get to.

[Mike]

No, that's air.

[Jason]

Can you peek this airplane?

[Mike]

It's an airplane, guys.

[Andy]

It's not a sky plane.

[Jason]

It is an airplane.

[Andy]

Shoot.

[Jason]

Can you get to the. Can you get to the, like, Truman show top of the sky?

[Mike]

Oh, like the dome.

[Jason]

Yeah. Can you. Like. Are you ever not in the sky.

[Andy]

Or the sky infinite?

[Mike]

There's no sky in the Truman show, right?

[Andy]

No. You can hit the top of the dome for sure.

[Jason]

And then you're in space.

[Andy]

Yes, it's when the air runs out.

[Jason]

So if you see somebody up in space. So wait, a rocket goes from air to sky to space, Correct?

[Andy]

Yes, but when it is in the sky, it still is air. Air is in the sky at what? It's really just.

[Jason]

Well, actually, eventually it's not.

[Andy]

I know, but. No, air is not in space. Right, Right.

[Jason]

But it also thins out.

[Mike]

At what level do you start suffocating.

[Jason]

How is that your air ratio?

[Mike]

I think that might be it.

[Jason]

Probably 25,000ft. That's my guess. Google that. 30,000.

[Mike]

Like where? What's the height?

[Jason]

Where's no more air?

[Mike]

You can't survive up there anymore.

[Jason]

Breathable. Max amount of altitude looks about 26,000ft. Okay.

[Mike]

Yeah, nailed that, too. That's a good guess.

[Jason]

Nailed that, too. I'm out of here.

[Mike]

That's the sky.

[Jason]

So if you can't breathe.

[Andy]

So we're saying.

[Mike]

That's what I'm saying.

[Andy]

Okay, you're saying that under 26,000ft is not sky.

[Mike]

Right?

[Jason]

That's just air.

[Mike]

That's just air.

[Andy]

It feels kind of right. I think that's kind of right.

[Jason]

Hold on, hold on. Can clouds, but I wouldn't. Where are clouds? Clouds are in the sky.

[Mike]

Clouds can be in the air.

[Andy]

Birds fly in the sky. No, birds fly in the air.

[Jason]

I don't know how I feel.

[Andy]

That's all I thought of, too.

[Mike]

It's not even the worst.

[Andy]

No, I know. It's close enough, baby.

[Mike]

No, birds catch air, man.

[Andy]

Birds are in the sky. You're telling me birds are in the sky, that an eagle is not flying in the sky?

[Mike]

So then the sky. The sky is just where you can't naturally jump to. If you can't jump and touch it. It's the sky, then.

[Andy]

Yeah, the sky's higher than that.

[Mike]

I'm moving it way down.

[Andy]

You move from 26,000ft to, like.

[Mike]

Cause you're like four feet.

[Andy]

You can't touch the rim.

[Jason]

It's like the sky is at nine.

[Mike]

Feet in the sky.

[Jason]

Oh, man.

[Mike]

So, like, when is a. When does a bird go from in the air to the sky? See, because if you're saying if it's just flying, a bird can fly very low.

[Andy]

So we have been using sky wrong is what I'm learning. Sky. We think sky is low. Sky is not low. Sky is 26,000ft.

[Mike]

Yeah, we do say sky high.

[Jason]

Sky high.

[Andy]

Now, is there a problem? That ain't no skyscraper going to 26,000ft.

[Jason]

That's true. They are skyscrapers, but they only scrape this guy. They can't even get to it.

[Mike]

But they're not 26,000ft. So if they're scraping it, how high up is it?

[Andy]

All right, so what's the tallest building? The.

[Mike]

It's in Dubai.

[Andy]

The Khalifa. Whatever. That's 2,700ft.

[Jason]

That's not very much.

[Mike]

You got a 10X that bad, boy.

[Andy]

Yeah, I think maybe that exit. Maybe the sky starts at the highest Highest building.

[Jason]

Okay, so we've moved the sky with our.

[Andy]

We have been moving the sky industrial. I believe they are building a new one that will move the sky a little higher.

[Mike]

Where we move in the sky.

[Jason]

Can we get the sky to 3,000ft?

[Andy]

Yeah, I think. I think we're gonna get it to 3,000. I'm gonna. I'm on it.

[Mike]

Why are you doing this?

[Jason]

Why don't we build the biggest skyscraper on top of the biggest mountain? That's what I want to know.

[Mike]

Because it's foundation, probably they're gonna call it cheating, and the build will be very difficult.

[Jason]

Yeah, it'll be cold. All right, last one, guys. What is the difference between steps, instructions, and directions? Follow these steps.

[Andy]

We're going to 3281.

[Jason]

Yeah. Nice.

[Andy]

Thousand meters.

[Mike]

Who's doing this?

[Andy]

Saudi Arabia. Why?

[Mike]

Why are we doing this?

[Jason]

Competition.

[Mike]

That's what we do, right?

[Jason]

What is the difference between following steps, following instructions, and following directions? This is a tough one, guys.

[Andy]

Steps, steps.

[Jason]

Feels like they need to be limited to it. Like, instructions and directions can be an unlimited amount. I feel like steps cannot be. You can't.

[Andy]

You can't have a.

[Jason]

Follow these 35 steps.

[Mike]

There's steps in instructions, though, right?

[Jason]

Yes, of course. Yes.

[Andy]

Interesting.

[Mike]

Is there steps and directions? No, only when you're walking.

[Jason]

Well, direct.

[Mike]

Thank you.

[Andy]

That's not funny. It was. Yeah, it was.

[Mike]

He got him.

[Andy]

Swish.

[Jason]

That's not funny.

[Andy]

It was good. I mean, ultimate dad joke, but. Yeah. No, that was that. Look, the people.

[Jason]

Which one seems most complicated to you?

[Mike]

Instructions.

[Andy]

Instructions are always going to be the most complicated. I never understand.

[Jason]

I feel like directions can be given orally. Yeah, but it's like, there's only giving somebody directions.

[Andy]

You cannot give instructions orally.

[Jason]

Right, Right.

[Mike]

Yeah, but, like, directions is. There's only so many things that direction can be.

[Jason]

Directions don't have to be, like, where to go, though.

[Mike]

It doesn't.

[Jason]

No. A direction. You give direction. There's directors that give direction. They're not telling people where. Where to walk on the street. Their direction.

[Mike]

They tell them where to go.

[Andy]

Yeah, they do tell them. They're like, you're gonna move to their.

[Jason]

Smart spots over there and what to do. A director of something tells people what to do, not necessarily where to go.

[Andy]

I don't think a director. If you're talking about a movie director, I don't think that they think to themselves, I give directions. Like, that's not.

[Jason]

But directions. I'm just saying the definition is 100%. Like, not just where to go.

[Andy]

All right, so we got a wide.

[Mike]

Thought I had it.

[Jason]

Steps are the smallest.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Jason]

You can have a three step process.

[Andy]

Correct.

[Jason]

That's actually used as a feature. Right. A simple two step process.

[Andy]

What is.

[Mike]

There's no instructions. If it's only if you put a number in front of the steps. Those are not instructions.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Oh, then I prefer those a lot.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Jason]

It's great.

[Andy]

It makes me feel.

[Jason]

Except I mean, instructions, they come in an instruction manual.

[Andy]

Right. Because there's a lot.

[Jason]

Because a manual is a book.

[Mike]

Do directions come in a manual?

[Jason]

There's no direction manual.

[Mike]

So when a person is telling you how and what to do, it's a direction. If it's a book, it's an instruction.

[Andy]

Yeah. It's written down.

[Mike]

Except some people are instructors.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And they instruct with books.

[Jason]

They do have books in their class.

[Andy]

I mean, instructors all have their books.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Jason]

Directors is heart depths. One page Max.

[Andy]

Mike's onto this. This is. Directions are about the heart, about the mind. Instructions are about the book and the process. Writing it down.

[Mike]

It's cold.

[Andy]

Instructions suck.

[Jason]

You ever in life been looking for direction.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andy]

Still am, man. Still am.

[Jason]

Still am. All right, we'll take a break. We'll draft.

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[Andy]

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[Jason]

Alrighty. Jason, you have to let us know we are drafting foods to eat without utensils. The best foods to eat without utensils. But we don't know if we're drafting a meal or a free for all here. We can pick anything we want. What are we doing?

[Andy]

I think we're going to build a meal.

[Jason]

So what is. What is the.

[Mike]

We're doing a meal.

[Jason]

Items we need to have.

[Andy]

So we're gonna have an entree.

[Mike]

Oh, crap.

[Jason]

Entree.

[Andy]

We're gonna have a dessert.

[Jason]

Dessert.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Andy]

We're gonna have two sides.

[Jason]

Two sides. Smaller, small.

[Andy]

Two non entrees that aren't desserts.

[Mike]

Perfect.

[Jason]

No, we got it.

[Mike]

What's the difference between.

[Jason]

So you get the first pick in this non utensil.

[Mike]

We said two sides.

[Andy]

Correct. Okay.

[Jason]

So we're all sitting down at six sides at a table, but there ain't no utensils here.

[Andy]

No, no utensils.

[Jason]

And you can't order any foods you'd.

[Andy]

Need them for, I think. So I've gone back and forth on pick one. Pick one on what the 101 is. There's, you know, as far as the entree, I've really been focused on the entree here, and there are plenty. There are at least three kind of one on ones.

[Mike]

I agree with that.

[Andy]

I mean, there are three.

[Jason]

You might not go entree here, thinking you'll be fine. You know, we can only all pick one entree.

[Andy]

Exactly. That wasn't where I was going, but thank you for that because I would be happy with all three of them. There is one, though, that, out of respect, should be the first one drafted. So I'm gonna. I'm gonna take it. I'm gonna take it. Because you should not use a knife and a fork. And some people do for pizza.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Andy]

Pizza should be utensilous.

[Jason]

And so even though foods to eat without utensils. Pizza number one.

[Andy]

Pizza number one is Chicago deep dish pizza. No, that's a pie.

[Mike]

Okay. Okay.

[Andy]

I mean, I. Look, if I mean Chicago deep dish.

[Jason]

It doesn't mean that that category can't have some exceptions. It just means of all the foods you eat without utensils. All right, he's taking pizza.

[Andy]

I'm taking pizza.

[Jason]

Which is. Which is a great pick.

[Andy]

Thank you.

[Jason]

I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go with the side first.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Jason]

French fries.

[Mike]

Yep.

[Jason]

I'm taking French fries. With my first pick, I want to grab one. We have to draft two sides.

[Andy]

Put animal style on that. You're gonna want that fork.

[Jason]

See, I don't. I feel like it really takes away from french fries. From french fries. Like, I. I ordered some fries the other day. It was a. From a food truck. It was a Greek food truck, and it was called Fries and Sauce. It was the bucket of fries, and then they put a bunch of sauce on it and give you a fork. It's just every individual one I took out. Delicious. Eating them with a fork. Not as good.

[Andy]

You know what? As stupid as that sounds, it is.

[Mike]

I think it is stupid.

[Andy]

It's actually true. Yeah, I know exactly what it is.

[Jason]

I don't know why it is. I don't know if it is.

[Andy]

It's same fries.

[Jason]

Same fries.

[Andy]

You take them one at a time, and they're enjoyable. But as soon as you put a fork. In fact, one at a time. No, no, no. I was gonna correct. I was gonna correct myself. Even if you take three or four at a time with your hands, it's called typical. It's good, but as soon as you bite the fry off a fork, it doesn't taste as good.

[Jason]

I'm with you, son.

[Andy]

What a great pick.

[Jason]

Thanks. You rolled french fries as my side, Mike, you got two in a row.

[Mike]

All right, So, I mean, the game says I probably got a. I want to play. Get some sides here. So you went with fries, all right. You got to eat it with your hands. Okay. So I'm going to take. I'm going to go with wings as one of my sides.

[Jason]

Okay.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah. Wings to be a meal. Not in this house. Wings are a side.

[Andy]

Oh, you get the wings as a side. That's because they are.

[Jason]

No, that's.

[Mike]

That's.

[Jason]

You're not getting a lot of them as a side, but you're getting some.

[Mike]

I'll take six. You got four. Four. Who gives four wings?

[Andy]

Well, if it's a side, but it's.

[Mike]

Always six or 12.

[Andy]

No one's for a meal.

[Mike]

No. No one sells four wings.

[Jason]

You're not getting any. If you want six wings, you don't get celery.

[Mike]

Oh, no.

[Andy]

I love the celery with wings. What kind of wings are you getting? What flavor, dude?

[Mike]

I mean, I'm usually a buffalo man, but what is it?

[Andy]

Lemon pepper, like the dry rub.

[Jason]

You're really getting into that.

[Mike]

How is. People have not explained properly how delicious. Lemon pepper, really? Where do you get them from, brother, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Just when you. If you see, if you go to.

[Jason]

Place that has a man who doesn't like lemon desserts, lemon pepper is.

[Mike]

Because lemon desserts are sweet. Lemon pepper. It's savory.

[Jason]

So you're going wings.

[Mike]

And the best part of that.

[Andy]

The best part of that is that they are the dry rub. Almost always the lemon pepper. Look, maybe I'm just old and I've aged out.

[Mike]

It is wanting, yes, 100% because of saucy fingers.

[Andy]

But I love a dry rub. And if this is for without utensils, all the better. All the better.

[Jason]

Yeah. This doesn't say no napkins, though. He can grab a napkin. All right, Wings as a side for Mike.

[Andy]

You ever seen someone fork a knife a wing? No, No.

[Jason]

I have seen it, but it's not a wing. I've seen it. They don't want to get their hands dirty.

[Andy]

I mean, ribs, sure.

[Jason]

They were kicked out of the restaurant.

[Andy]

Okay.

[Jason]

Okay.

[Mike]

All right, then we're going to go. Trying to think of. Okay, so if we're going with hands, I'm going to go with choco chip cookies.

[Jason]

Okay. Okay. Going cookies.

[Mike]

Yeah, I'm going to go. What I think is.

[Jason]

Yeah, you don't eat that with any utensils. That's a great pick.

[Mike]

No, we don't crumble.

[Jason]

Ooh, well, yeah, crumble is really pushing the whole, like, cookie to, like, a cake.

[Andy]

Crumble is always. Always requires a utensil. Yes. You need a knife.

[Jason]

There will be a day when we're like, if we could wipe crumble off the entire world, should we do it? And then a bunch of people go.

[Mike]

Yes, please help us.

[Jason]

All right, so you went chocolate chip cookies. Getting your dessert out of the way. You got a side.

[Andy]

We're up to 611 1/2% on. Get rid of them.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Jason]

Okay.

[Andy]

2,509 exact votes.

[Jason]

I have french fries as a side.

[Mike]

Sample matters. Jason.

[Jason]

Yeah, Jason's already got his entree. I don't need. I don't need to go entree here. I'm going to go with my dessert because I wouldn't be caught dead without it. Ice cream cone. Ice cream cone. No utensils. You thought I couldn't get ice cream? Yes, I can. It's in a cone.

[Mike]

No, you tricked us, you devil.

[Jason]

So I've got french fries and ice cream cone. A great start, I think. Jason, you got pizza. You got two picks.

[Mike]

You ever dip your fries in the ice cream?

[Jason]

Not in the cone. Not in a cone. No one does that.

[Andy]

Yeah, that's absurd. How dare you?

[Jason]

Although, if you want to make that cone out of French fries, I might eat it. I might eat it. Yes, I might. I will eat it.

[Mike]

A salty French fried. Give me that cone. Give me that. Give me that French fried cone.

[Andy]

I'm going to eat that cone.

[Mike]

All right. You're on to something.

[Jason]

All right, Jason.

[Andy]

All right, so I've got two pigs here. I've got two picks. I know one of them. I'm going to take my dessert, okay. Because it's pretty much my favorite treat, and you can't really fork and knife a churro.

[Jason]

Yeah, I figured churros.

[Mike]

I was like your bread pudding.

[Andy]

I'm going to need utensils for my bread pudding.

[Jason]

Strategically terrible decision.

[Andy]

Does Mike have his dessert?

[Jason]

We all got desserts, but now you do, too.

[Andy]

What an idiot.

[Jason]

Yeah, Mr. Churro's got it. Well, you're giving it respect with your number two pick.

[Andy]

I'm just trying to. Trying to respect the game, you know? I'm not playing.

[Mike]

I mean, it's not helping you with your messy fingers, though.

[Andy]

No. Or my shirt is usually covered in.

[Mike]

The cinnamon in the sugar.

[Andy]

Cinnamon. I need a shirt to hold.

[Jason]

Hold the actual churro.

[Andy]

No, that'll keep my fingers nice and clean.

[Mike]

Jay, have you been eating churros?

[Jason]

He's got.

[Andy]

Everyone always knows fingerprints on the chur.

[Jason]

All right.

[Mike]

What are you talking about? My hands are clean.

[Jason]

Look, whether you're strategically right or not, pizza and churro as a combo is pretty good.

[Andy]

All right? So I'm going to take a side, and it's. I mean, I'm thinking, what can I eat without utensils that I really can't even attempt to eat with utensils? It's just impossible. And that's gonna be chips. We'll just call it dip, chips and salsa or whatever.

[Jason]

Chips and dip.

[Andy]

Chips and dip.

[Mike]

You can't go chips and salsa or it's one of the two.

[Jason]

Oh, really?

[Mike]

Salsa is not a dip. Salsa's not a dip. Salsa's not a dip. It's a salsa.

[Jason]

Look, Al is, like, going, yeah, that's true. I'm with Mike on that.

[Mike]

Thank you, Al.

[Andy]

Chips and salsa and chips and dip are totally different things. Both are great. They're both great. It's funny how many more options I get with dip, but if I don't get salsa, I'm going chips and salsa.

[Jason]

Chips and salsa.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Andy]

For sure.

[Mike]

You're going chips and salsa over, like, a chips and queso.

[Andy]

Yep. 100%.

[Mike]

Oh, man.

[Andy]

The Only problem is queso chips and salsa are universalized as free, and so it denigrates them. You think they're not as valuable as others, but the truth is, they're more enjoyable. I go to a restaurant, and I'm wanting something nice, so I, like, don't get chips and salsa when I see it. But then I always wish I just had some chips and salsa.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Jason]

I feel like dips are just more, like, indulgent. Like, if you eat. If I really dip the way I want to dip, I'm eating too much dip. But salsa doesn't feel like. It feels like you're doing an okay thing.

[Andy]

Vegetables. Yeah, yeah.

[Jason]

See what? I'm just backing your point. Great pick, Jason.

[Andy]

Thank you.

[Jason]

You've got to pick, or it's back to me.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Jason]

Because you just took two. All right. I got French fries and ice cream. I don't. I've got two entrees that I'm okay with.

[Andy]

Yeah. I said there were three.

[Jason]

I think one. One I prefer more to eat, and one's maybe a better pick for this foods without utensils. But I will go with. I'm going to go with. I've already got fries, so I'm going to go with burger.

[Andy]

Nice. I was so hoping you would keep that from Mike, because I know that would have been his.

[Mike]

Oh, that was immediately. That's one of the big three.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Andy]

That is.

[Jason]

I mean, literally, burger, fries, and ice cream. I am pretty much American. I'm as American as they come. I'm gonna eat that. All right, Mike, you got wings, chocolate chip cookies, and you get to make your. You need an entree and a side.

[Mike]

All right. For my side. I think we're going a little bit off. I don't know if you guys will have this on the list tonight. You should, because we talk about this all the time. We have a rule when we travel. If we sit down.

[Andy]

Yeah. If it's on the menu. If it's on the menu, it's on my list.

[Mike]

So I'm getting me some deviled eggs.

[Jason]

It was on your list.

[Andy]

Yes.

[Mike]

Oh, dude, deviled eggs are so good.

[Andy]

We have that. I think we have shared this rule together where if it's on a menu.

[Jason]

At a restaurant, you get it because I'm with you. I completely agree. Because they're rarely on a menu.

[Andy]

It's rarely on a menu, and a place isn't going to put it on the menu unless they're like, this is a specialty.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Jason]

There are only a few food categories, though, where, like, At a certain restaurant, if you order it, you're like, I could get sick from that.

[Mike]

Oh, you're getting deviled egg farts is.

[Jason]

Definitely one of them.

[Mike]

And the burps.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Andy]

I mean that.

[Mike]

Deviled eggs, it's called devil for a reason, because it visits you on both sides.

[Jason]

Okay.

[Andy]

All right.

[Jason]

Just like the devil. I'll pick your entree.

[Mike]

Okay. For the entree, I don't know which power trio you guys have, but I will take a burrito.

[Jason]

That's. That's fine.

[Andy]

I was more on the taco.

[Jason]

I was on the taco.

[Mike]

Okay. But same concept.

[Jason]

Well, the difference is peak non utensil food.

[Andy]

Exactly. You. You literally can't eat it. If you're eating it with a fork.

[Jason]

You don't want to work.

[Andy]

Yeah, that's not a taco.

[Jason]

You gotta break it up.

[Andy]

The only thing that makes it a taco is how you lift it up. You're on a heater over here with your voices, man.

[Mike]

I will. If it were not for caloric or punishment, I would get the burrito every time.

[Jason]

So I.

[Mike]

Sometimes I go to the tacos because I feel like it's less food.

[Andy]

Feel like it?

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Andy]

It's not. Well, yeah, it is.

[Mike]

The chipotle three tacos is definitely not as much rice and beans and stuff as the. As the burrito, so it's not as punishing.

[Jason]

You went burrito, though, right?

[Mike]

Yes.

[Jason]

Okay. Because Al put down taco, and I was like, what are we doing?

[Mike]

That's what I call a burrito.

[Jason]

All right, My final pick. I need another side. Okay. I'm going to go with the other thing. I feel like Mike almost always orders on a menu if it's sitting there. I'm going to go with mozzarella sticks.

[Andy]

Oh, yes.

[Mike]

I love mozzarella sticks.

[Andy]

That was my next pick, man.

[Jason]

Yeah. I will just tell you. I mean, you could take it if you want, because you need another side, but popcorn was in consideration.

[Andy]

That was. I was between mozzarella and popcorn.

[Jason]

But popcorn is. Because I'm building a meal at a plate and looking at a plate. I'm not gonna order a little pile of popcorn.

[Andy]

That was 100% why I ordered mozzarella sticks.

[Jason]

But if one of those foods without any popcorn. No, no one does.

[Andy]

No, of course not. But foods. Foods without utensils, we are eating the exact sink. Because food to eat without utensils, popcorn would be the as silly as anything imaginable to eat with. I mean, I guess you use a spoon.

[Mike]

Yes. You need a big Spoon.

[Andy]

Yeah. So that. But now I feel like I can't take popcorn. Thanks, Andy.

[Jason]

Yeah, I totally down talked it.

[Mike]

But you're not getting it.

[Jason]

I've just never seen it served on a plate next to some other things.

[Andy]

Yeah. So I.

[Jason]

Makes it a little harder.

[Andy]

I guess I'll just go with a different. You've got your french fries and mozzarella sticks. I got to get a fried chicken.

[Jason]

You could go chips and dip and go back. You could get them both here.

[Andy]

Ooh, that's tempting. Just want all the chips. This. I should have just ordered the trio, you know? Yeah, that was my bad. I'm gonna go with the trio.

[Mike]

Always comes with at least one you don't want.

[Andy]

I'm gonna go.

[Mike]

They never let you sub with the.

[Andy]

Popcorn of the table, which is cheese curds.

[Jason]

Okay. The popcorn of any sophisticated table.

[Mike]

That's very fancy.

[Andy]

Yeah, just. Just like, you know.

[Mike]

Oh, what's it got to do with popcorn?

[Andy]

It's just tiny morsels. That's what I'm saying. Like popcorn chicken or whatever. That's what makes it hard to eat with a. You know, I was gonna take.

[Jason]

Not violating the mozzarella stick integrity.

[Mike]

No, no.

[Jason]

Those are separate products.

[Mike]

They are. They are complete. I mean, they're the exact same thing, but they are. They are two different products.

[Andy]

Well, they're different cheeses as well, because a mozzarella sticks is always mozzarella. You're not. Cheese curds are not mozzarella.

[Mike]

I think sometimes they are.

[Andy]

Really?

[Mike]

I mean, like whenever I used to get them from Chili's back in the day, that was. It was.

[Jason]

Cheddar is typical.

[Mike]

Is it a white cheddar?

[Jason]

Cheddar is typical. It can be made from other cheeses if desired.

[Mike]

Look, the people in Wisconsin right now.

[Jason]

Young cheddar cheese.

[Andy]

Other cheeses like Colby, Monterey Jack, Brick, and Muenster. They ain't no mozzarella.

[Jason]

No, they're not the same. Mozzarella sticks are named after the cheese.

[Andy]

Right?

[Mike]

Mozzarella.

[Andy]

You can't do cheese cheddar and call it a mozzarella stick.

[Jason]

Cheddar. Here's a little cheddar stick.

[Mike]

You call it fried cheese.

[Jason]

A cheese curd doesn't have to be as hot as a mozzarella stick does to be good. Cheese curds can be eaten cold.

[Andy]

Yes. When they're not bread.

[Jason]

Not breaded. Yeah. So cheese curds are very. I don't know why they have it. They're not as nationwide as mozzarella sticks. I feel like cheese curds are Very underappreciated.

[Andy]

Yeah, I agree.

[Jason]

Like, they're not getting the big cheese. Curt isn't getting the word out.

[Mike]

They got to get in the Applebee's or the chilies. That's what broke mozzarella sticks wide open.

[Jason]

Yeah. Okay. All right. Yep, Yep. Jason with pizza as his entree.

[Mike]

TGI's got cheese curds yet chips and.

[Jason]

Salsa and cheese curds as his sides and churro as his dessert. I have burger as my entree with some french fries and mozzarella sticks and some. An ice cream cone for dessert.

[Mike]

And.

[Jason]

And, Mike, you've got an entree of a burrito with wings and deviled eggs. You didn't think about those.

[Andy]

Oh, brother.

[Jason]

I've never seen somebody do, like, a nice.

[Mike]

Because you will never see that person again.

[Jason]

And then you're rounding it out with some chocolate chip cookies.

[Mike]

You take down that three pack, bro.

[Andy]

You'Re going to hope that cell phones have not disappeared from this planet, because you're going to be on one for a while.

[Mike]

You are. You're calling out next two days.

[Jason]

The idea of washing down burritos and wings with some eggs is something special. There are lots of other good picks, obviously. I mean, hot dog didn't get drafted. I feel like that it's up there. I feel like if it wasn't a meal draft, hot dog would have been picked.

[Andy]

Oh, for sure.

[Jason]

Same with popcorn.

[Andy]

Agreed.

[Jason]

I thought somebody might take some fruit or, like, a banana as a side.

[Mike]

I had fruit because it's, you know.

[Jason]

Like, made to be without.

[Andy]

I really wanted a corn on the cob, but in truth, even though it's not a fork, spoon, or knife.

[Jason]

Oh, yeah, those are utensils.

[Mike]

You put them in.

[Andy]

Yeah, Those little corn on the cob holders. Those are clutch. I don't want to eat a corn on the cob without.

[Jason]

Yeah, you would have had.

[Mike]

You and your messy fingies.

[Andy]

I thought it's more about the heat. Like, it's a good corn on the cob if you're making it at home.

[Mike]

You were talking about the way it is, the heat.

[Andy]

It should be piping hot. Should be ready to burn your mouth.

[Jason]

All right, Any other considerations?

[Mike]

There's another heat problem. I had donuts. I think that was it for me.

[Jason]

Okay.

[Andy]

What did we learn today? I learned that the sky starts at 2,717ft but is about to move up.

[Jason]

I learned that at least among our generation, a majority of people would like to delete all phones off of the planet.

[Andy]

60.9% of them.

[Mike]

Wow. We're not there yet. We're still moving up, though.

[Andy]

Yeah. Yeah, still moving up.

[Mike]

I didn't learn anything.

[Jason]

Learned what a scat doesn't sound like.

[Mike]

Yeah. Oh, did you dog whistle?

[Andy]

It was.

[Mike]

The frequency was.

[Andy]

Your dog's gonna love that scat.

[Jason]

Take care, everybody.

[Mike]

Goodbye.

[Andy]

Thanks for listening to the Spitballers podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out spitballerspod.com. Hey Fidelity, how can I remember to invest every month?

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[Jason]

Oh, that sounds easier than I thought.

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You got this?

[Mike]

Yeah, I do.

[Andy]

Now, where did I put my keys?

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[Jason]

Investing involves risk, including risk of loss. Fidelity Brokerage Services, LLC Member nyse, SIPC.

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