BONUS: Audiobooks/Summer House Scandal (w/ Blair Socci)

Summary

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Staying Alive with Jon Gabrus & Adam Pally

Episode: BONUS: Audiobooks/Summer House Scandal (w/ Blair Socci)
Date: June 2, 2026
Host Network: SmartLess Media

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Episode Overview

This lively bonus episode serves as an unscripted, round-table discussion where hosts Jon Gabrus and Adam Pally (though notably, much of the conversation is between Jason Bateman, Will Arnett, and Sean Hayes) riff with characteristic wit about modern screen addiction, the legitimacy of audiobooks, pop culture scandal (notably, the "Summer House" Bravo show drama), and some searing observations on how fantasy fiction has handled religion and representation. Freewheeling and deeply irreverent, the conversation bounces between thoughtful reflections and raucous comic riffs, making for an episode both insightful and hilarious.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Struggle with Screen Time

[00:22 – 01:30]

• Sean Hayes asks the group: "Would you, as two successful men with a lot of money, ...how imprisoned by screen time—how much of your day does that take up?"
• Jason Bateman admits: "It's bad for me. I'm really fighting."
• Will Arnett adds he's getting better, but still struggles, especially in downtime (airports, waiting on set), where scrolling can consume “anywhere from five minutes to an hour and a half, two hours.”
• Sean Hayes: "Days are the worst for me."
• The group reflects on how technology has hijacked their reading time, and reminisces about pre-digital childhoods filled with outdoor play and books.

2. Audiobooks vs. Reading

[01:30 – 03:55]

• Sean Hayes laments: "Now I never read. Like, I'll buy…$30 hardcover, and then just put on my audiobook on Spotify" [01:30].
• Will Arnett defends audiobooks: "Isn't listening…okay?...it's really just about getting that information into your skull, you know?" [01:48].
• Jason Bateman shares his goal for 2026 to read one book a month, though admits, “I'm a little behind” [02:52].
• The group discusses the difference between listening and reading:
  • Bateman: “I get a little more caught up in the story when I'm reading it over listening to it.”
  • Sean Hayes: “It feels pathetic that…my main thing…was reading...[now] I cannot sit and open a book. I have no attention span because I'm so used to, like, the immediacy of…our digital, you know, addiction.” [02:18]
• Bateman values reading as a screen break: "…the reason I'm pursuing reading so much is because it’s putting me down in one place and I’m losing the phone from it." [03:16]
• Arnett sometimes listens to audiobooks as a primary activity: "An audiobook is just as exciting to me as a $400 million Netflix movie.” [03:55]

Notable Quote

• Will Arnett: “It’s really just about getting that information into your skull, you know?” [01:48]

3. The “Summer House” Scandal

[04:06 – 09:17]

• Sean Hayes gives a breathless, hilarious summary of the latest “Summer House” drama (with ample disclaimers about missing several seasons):
  • Sierra (the “hottest, most accomplished, smartest woman on Bravo”) gets hurt by her relationship with “fun little party guy” West after he pursues her and then bails.
  • Amanda (Sierra’s best friend) then starts dating West, causing “shockwaves through the Bravo universe” [06:15].
  • There’s also a subplot involving Amanda and her now-ex Kyle, and a man opening a $20,000/month sober bar that concerns Sean.
• Jason Bateman, Will Arnett: Playfully pretend deep shock at the unfolding reality show scandal.

Memorable Moment

• Sean Hayes: “You got close to touching God and you’re such an idiot. You fog this up.” [05:13]
• Jason Bateman: “I haven’t been this up since I learned Fisher Stevens wasn’t Indian.” [06:25]

4. Pop Culture Bombshells

[06:39 – 07:46]

• The group shares their “mind blown” moments from entertainment gossip, including:
  • Fisher Stevens not being Indian.
  • Andre Agassi’s toupee.
  • News that "Michelle from the Valley" is dating Dr. Dre.

5. Sides and Sisterhood in Reality TV

[07:46 – 09:17]

• Discussion on who to “side with” in the Summer House drama:
  • Jason Bateman: "I’m pro nurse. Anyway, my mom and brother and sister in law are all nurse, anything nurse.” [07:54]
  • Arnett jokes about encountering “anti-nurse” people.
  • Sean forecasts a redemption story for Sierra, referencing the “Ariana Maddox arc” in pop culture.

6. Reality TV, Parasocial Bonds & The Business of Sober Bars

[08:45 – 09:17]

• Sean explains “Summer House” for the unfamiliar—a Bravo series about New Yorkers sharing a Hamptons house every summer.
• Light ribbing about whether a sober bar can survive a $20,000/month lease.

7. Hidden Famous Listeners & The “Ideas Hub”

[09:34 – 10:22]

• The group riffs about the possibility of unknown, famous podcast listeners.
• Bateman jokes about giving Bill Gates an idea to hide “chlamydia medicine in a smoothie” [10:05].
• Sean: “This is Ideas Hub, this podcast. This is where the billionaires come for the tricks and the tips.” [10:12]

8. Satire of Tech Titans & Billionaires

[10:22 – 11:13]

• Jokes about the mannerisms of Sam Altman and Sam Bankman-Fried: “Sam Bankman Fried is a trip.” [10:55]
• Bateman reflects on how Bankman-Fried’s name “sounds like a Batman villain.” [11:07]
• Satirical dig at J.K. Rowling’s character-naming, hinting at slur-adjacent choices and her public image controversies.

Notable Quote

• Will Arnett: “It sounds like fucking J.K. Rowling needs to come up with a Jewish character’s name.” [11:08]

9. Critique of Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings & Representation

[11:13 – 14:41]

• Extensive riff about antisemitic and racist tropes in fantasy fiction:
  • Rowling’s Goblins and Tolkien’s Gollum as coded stereotypes.
  • Reaction from Jewish friends to “bank goblins” in Harry Potter adaptations.
  • Tolkien’s orcs as the only “black people” in Lord of the Rings [14:09].
  • Audience outrage over Black elves in adaptations: “Elves aren’t real. There’s a reason elves aren’t black…” [14:22]
• Jason Bateman concludes with, “So that’s why I hope this bitch has to move back to her car,” referencing J.K. Rowling’s pre-fame struggles. [14:36]

Notable Quotes

• Jason Bateman: “Elves aren’t real. There’s a reason elves aren’t black…” [14:22]
• Will Arnett: “It took until Daniel Craig in Munich for anyone to be like, damn, maybe I should fucking flay off.” [14:04]

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Timestamps for Major Segments

| Timestamp | Segment | |-----------|------------------------------------------| | 00:22–01:30 | Struggling with screen addiction | | 01:30–03:55 | Audiobooks vs. reading debate | | 04:06–07:22 | Summer House Scandal explained | | 06:39–07:46 | Pop culture “bombshell” moments | | 07:46–09:17 | Picking sides and Summer House arcs | | 09:34–10:22 | The “Ideas Hub” and billionaire banter| | 10:22–11:13 | Tech personalities & villainy | | 11:13–14:41 | Fantasy fiction & representation satire|

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Memorable Quotes with Timestamps

• Will Arnett: “It’s really just about getting that information into your skull, you know?” [01:48]
• Sean Hayes: “You got close to touching God and you’re such an idiot. You fog this up.” [05:13]
• Jason Bateman: “I haven’t been this up since I learned Fisher Stevens wasn’t Indian.” [06:25]
• Jason Bateman: “I’m pro nurse. Anyway, my mom and brother and sister-in-law are all nurse, anything nurse.” [07:54]
• Sean Hayes: “This is Ideas Hub, this podcast. This is where the billionaires come for the tricks and the tips.” [10:12]
• Jason Bateman: “Elves aren’t real. There’s a reason elves aren’t black…” [14:22]
• Will Arnett: “It took until Daniel Craig in Munich for anyone to be like, damn, maybe I should fucking flay off.” [14:04]

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Tone & Style

The episode maintains a rapid-fire, sarcastic, and self-deprecating comedic energy. The hosts alternate between earnest reflection (on health, reading habits, etc.) and gleeful, boundary-pushing satire (especially in the fantasy fiction segment). The humor is smart, offbeat, and often meta, with many asides about the business of podcasting, their own privilege, and cultural absurdities.

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For New Listeners

• Expect conversational chaos, rich with pop culture references and in-jokes.
• The health and wellness theme is lightly present, primarily through their reflections on attention, reading, and getting away from screens.
• The discussion of Summer House and fantasy fiction turns satirical, openly critiquing representation and cultural tropes.
• The episode is less a linear interview and more an entertaining, irreverent jam session among quick-witted friends.

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Transcript

[Jason Bateman]

Bonus clip.

[Sean Hayes]

I have one more question for you guys. Sorry. Because I know it's your job to lead your show.

[Jason Bateman]

Well, you have no idea how much we'd rather you just ask.

[Sean Hayes]

But I just.

[Will Arnett]

This is, this is so nice.

[Sean Hayes]

Like, would use as two successful men with a lot of money. Would you. How like imprisoned by screen time. How much of your day does that take up?

[Jason Bateman]

It's bad for me. I'm really fighting.

[Will Arnett]

I'm not good at it. I'm getting better at it because I. Well, I prefer like work when I'm at work. I'm very good about it.

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah. Because you have something to be present for.

[Will Arnett]

But even on like, I, I was noticed on my last job, I was way better about it than I was on the one before that. I would be like, I'm gonna leave this in my easy up before I go to set. Yeah, you're going.

[Jason Bateman]

Tarantino rules. You're going.

[Will Arnett]

Or just like mini. Or just like minis.

[Sean Hayes]

I love that though.

[Will Arnett]

So then I'd go to set. But then, but then there. Then it's like, okay, that when you're done with set, you got to go back to your easy up.

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah.

[Will Arnett]

I would sit in my chair and like, you know, kind of scroll sometimes if I wasn't working on something.

[Sean Hayes]

Okay.

[Will Arnett]

And so like that and that. But that could be anywhere from like five minutes, like an hour and a half, two hours.

[Sean Hayes]

Right.

[Will Arnett]

And you don't know, you know, you're just like sitting in an airport.

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah.

[Will Arnett]

So I don't travel.

[Sean Hayes]

Days are the worst for me.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah.

[Jason Bateman]

I'm struggling. I'm struggling, I'm struggling.

[Sean Hayes]

I hate it because my whole life, like I always did. But I'm so glad I didn't grow up with screens because all I did was read or be outside. And now I never read. Like, I'll buy pre order books, full price, $30 hardcover, and then just put on my audiobook on Spotify.

[Will Arnett]

But isn't that okay? Like, isn't listening? I. I think listening to books is okay. Like, I think you're getting. As long as you're here as. I mean, it's not the same as like reading the same. The line. But oftentimes when I'm reading because of my learning disabilities, I. It takes me longer to understand the book because I'm reading it backwards or you know. You know what I mean? Or like, whatever. So I, I have, I feel like an audio book. It's really just about getting that information into your skull, you know?

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah. Well, I mean, I'm Glad I have that option as an alternative. But, like, I do. I'm just. I feel. It feels pathetic that I spent my whole life that was like my main thing besides sports was reading. And now for me, like, I went to graduate school to become a novelist and now I cannot sit and open a book. Like, I can't make myself. I have no attention span because I'm so used to, like, the immediacy of, like, our digital, you know, addiction.

[Jason Bateman]

I'm like a. I'm a very fast and good reader. I could read so fast and then I'm fighting so hard. I promised myself in 2026 I'd read one book a month.

[Sean Hayes]

Same with me.

[Jason Bateman]

We're in mid April and I have read three, so I'm a little behind.

[Sean Hayes]

I haven't read. I've listened, but I haven't read. And the deal was red.

[Jason Bateman]

I can do. I do both because I really listen to a lot of audiobooks. I really like it. But I do find the information processes a little bit harder. And when I'm reading. Non. I'm sorry. When I'm reading fiction, I get a little more caught up in the story when I'm reading it over listening to it.

[Sean Hayes]

Ye.

[Jason Bateman]

Because listening to it ends up being like, while I'm driving or I'm rarely. I guess what I'm struggling with too is like, the reason I'm pursuing reading so much is because it's putting me down in one place and I'm losing the phone from it.

[Will Arnett]

Right.

[Sean Hayes]

That's the point.

[Jason Bateman]

So when I do audiobook, I'm listening to my audiobook while I drive or while I work out or while I go for a walk, which is good. I never am like, ah, let me just lay back on the couch, put my noise canceling headphones on, and listen to a book, which is, I think, something I should be doing.

[Will Arnett]

I do that sometimes. Yeah, I do do that sometimes. Like, I'll put on my book because I also don't think there's much going on on television. Like, there's not much pulling me in any other direction anymore.

[Jason Bateman]

Right.

[Will Arnett]

Like, an audiobook is just as exciting to me as a $400 million Netflix movie. So it's like sometimes I will just sit and listen to a podcast or I mean, to an audiobook.

[Sean Hayes]

You guys aren't caught up with Summer House Scandal?

[Jason Bateman]

No, that's not.

[Sean Hayes]

Oh, you're really. You're not embroiled in it every second of the day?

[Will Arnett]

No. Explain it to me sort of thing.

[Jason Bateman]

But if you want to talk you, we'd be down to hear it.

[Sean Hayes]

Okay, well, basically. And look, take this with a grain of salt because I skipped like seven seasons in between, but the last two seasons.

[Will Arnett]

So we're definitely not getting this from an expert. You are getting it from an expert.

[Sean Hayes]

Chronically online bitch.

[Jason Bateman]

I hope you're like, you're not completely caught up in it like me. Well, because I skipped seven seasons,

[Sean Hayes]

but when I'm in, I'm in. This is like a scandal thing. And so basically the hottest, most accomplished, smartest woman on Bravo, her name Sierra. She's like this gorgeous, gorgeous, accomplished woman. Used to be a nurse, summer house. And so she. Then she dated this little weasel, west, who's like this fun little party guy, you know, blonde, that problems already. Red flag.

[Will Arnett]

And then I dyed my son's hair.

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah, yeah, good. And so basically he spends his whole season trying to convince this girl that a million. Way out of his league. I'm talking fucking light years. And then finally at the end of the summer, like, she consent. She's like, fine, you know, okay. Then they get together and then he's like, psych. You know, like, I'm not really ready to settle down. And everyone's like, are you fudgeing you? You got close to touching God and you're such an idiot. You fog this up. And then of course, the. All the Bravo viewership turned on him. Like, who do you think you are? You know? So then anyways, Amanda, who's her best friend, is married to Kyle, who is a 44 year old now becoming a DJ and like this horrible relationship. Hate each other the whole time and then end up getting divorced. And the whole time then we find out the beginning of the season that after Amanda and Kyle have been comforting Sierra because she was so hurt by Wes fucking her over after he chased her for so long, that Amanda and West are now dating. And it has really just caused. I mean, it has sent shockwaves through the Bravo universe.

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah, I'm really affected by this.

[Will Arnett]

Blown away. I need a minute.

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah, sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to come in here and blow the doors open at Forever Dog.

[Jason Bateman]

I haven't been this up since I learned Fisher Stevens wasn't Indian.

[Sean Hayes]

Really? Or how about when? Okay, okay.

[Jason Bateman]

I literally was trying to be like, when was the last time. I'm trying to make a simile of when I was. My mind was blown and I'm like. To be honest, it was when I.

[Sean Hayes]

No, that was a really good poll. Or how about when we found out that Andre Agassi's hair was a toupee

[Jason Bateman]

wig and it was affecting his tennis game. So hot underneath there.

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah.

[Will Arnett]

So crazy.

[Sean Hayes]

I love that it was about hot and not about his entire identity being revealed during like match point or something. Flying off and then. And not to top that, you know, I don't want to top anything. But today it came out that Michelle, recently divorced from little demon Jesse, is dating from the Valley, is now dating Dr. Dre. And I just. I don't know how those two would have ever even.

[Will Arnett]

The Dr. Dre?

[Sean Hayes]

The Dr. Dre.

[Will Arnett]

My.

[Jason Bateman]

My proctologist.

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah, your proctologist. Dr. Dre. Michelle from the Valley.

[Jason Bateman]

I know you're bobbing your head, so

[Sean Hayes]

I don't know how she even.

[Will Arnett]

I'm gonna prescribe you the chronic, doc.

[Jason Bateman]

I've tried it.

[Will Arnett]

Well, have you tried the Chronic 2001?

[Sean Hayes]

It's a great album.

[Will Arnett]

I suggest taking this three times a day.

[Sean Hayes]

Generational.

[Jason Bateman]

So whose side should we be on if we're talking to any Sierra, obviously, if you're. I'm pro nurse. Anyway, my mom and brother and sister in law are all nurse, anything nurse.

[Will Arnett]

Anything nurse. I'm proud.

[Sean Hayes]

That's really great to know that you're a pro nurse. Yeah. No, if you're out in these streets talking to the gals.

[Will Arnett]

I've met a couple anti nurses. There's a big anti nurse movement out there which.

[Jason Bateman]

Hey, what's up?

[Will Arnett]

Don't agree with. Don't agree with.

[Jason Bateman]

I'm pro nurse. I tell ladies all the time, I'm pro nurse. Hey, sweetheart.

[Sean Hayes]

Hey, what's up, West? And then they just flash you.

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah, I got. I got to know things like that.

[Will Arnett]

All these saying nurses. Ain't it it wrong now?

[Sean Hayes]

Amanda Rally fucked up the sisterhood and you know Sierra is going to have the Ariana Maddox redemption arc career she's already going to be on.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah, that Ariana Manix hit a wall though.

[Sean Hayes]

You think? Not if you watch Love island, baby.

[Will Arnett]

I guess so. Yeah, I guess. I don't know.

[Jason Bateman]

Actually, maybe this question will help clarify.

[Sean Hayes]

Sure.

[Jason Bateman]

What's Summer House?

[Sean Hayes]

It's sort of like this show on Bravo that's about 10 years.

[Will Arnett]

It's been 10 years.

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah.

[Jason Bateman]

It's about a group of friends.

[Sean Hayes]

It's about a group of friends that drive out every weekend for the summer to a Hampton share house from the city it birthed Hannah Burner, Paige Desorbo. Other people like that.

[Jason Bateman]

Okay, cool.

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah, there's a man on there opening a sober bar that we're all pulling For. But worry because his. His lease for his building is $20,000 a month, and I don't think that's a good business decision.

[Jason Bateman]

But that's gonna be something expensive. Shrub.

[Will Arnett]

So I was gonna say, I spend a lot of time out there. I am not gonna go to that place.

[Sean Hayes]

No, it's not in the Hamptons.

[Will Arnett]

Well, wherever it is, it's in Brooklyn. I spent a lot of time there.

[Sean Hayes]

See? You win, Carl. Okay?

[Will Arnett]

He's one of our readers.

[Sean Hayes]

If Carl's one of your readers, I will be. Carl, I love you, pal. You've been through a lot. You've made a nice turn.

[Jason Bateman]

Who do you think? I hope we have like one low key, famous listener or reader.

[Will Arnett]

We definitely do.

[Jason Bateman]

Gotta have one, right?

[Will Arnett]

I have friends that. I have friends that are like, famous that. That listen.

[Jason Bateman]

But yeah, someone that we don't even know.

[Will Arnett]

Like Stephen Hawking, if he's listening.

[Jason Bateman]

Bill Gates. Bill Gates. I know you used to listen. And we gave you that idea to put the chlamydia medicine in a smoothie for you.

[Will Arnett]

You did it wrong, by the way. We said to grind it. Yeah, you can't put a whole pill in it.

[Jason Bateman]

Juice booster. She's gonna figure that out.

[Sean Hayes]

That. This is Ideas Hub, this podcast. This is where the billionaires come for the tricks and the tips.

[Jason Bateman]

Sam Altman. Yeah, we pitched. Could you be more stressful to be around in real life?

[Sean Hayes]

Have you ever met him?

[Jason Bateman]

No.

[Sean Hayes]

Oh, okay.

[Will Arnett]

Who's the guy?

[Jason Bateman]

I see all these guys in the interviews and I'm like, someone just needs to decorate.

[Sean Hayes]

Who's the guy that.

[Will Arnett]

Who's the guy that's like, very on drugs? The one with like the crazy gray hair who's like, I think that's Sam. No, that's not Sam Almond.

[Jason Bateman]

Then it's the other one. It's. He's got three names and he's Elon Musk.

[Will Arnett]

No, two names.

[Sean Hayes]

He loves drugs.

[Will Arnett]

He's kind of like that.

[Sean Hayes]

His eyes are on Sam Bankman Fried.

[Will Arnett]

Sam Bankman Fried. Have you seen him? Sam Bankman Fried is a trip.

[Sean Hayes]

Three name people, you know?

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah, his name is Almost Bankman Fraud. It sounds like billions of dollars.

[Will Arnett]

It sounds like a Batman villain.

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah, it sounds like fucking J.K. rowling. Need to come up with a Jewish character's name.

[Will Arnett]

No, we would never be a villain. We just.

[Jason Bateman]

Just the long nose creatures that run the bank.

[Will Arnett]

Literally. I love Jake. Everyone is. Everyone's like, J.K. rowling's anti trans. And I'm like, she doesn't love Jews.

[Jason Bateman]

Well, even Like. Like, there's like, one black character name, and it's like shadow Mick the Asian or whatever. Yeah, yeah. They, like, she just. All the names are like, just slur adjacent. You know, someone pointed out, too, that she goes by JK because having a man's name, not having a woman's name helped her sell more books. So some would say that's a little trans of her. Yeah, she's.

[Will Arnett]

What is she expressing?

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah, Expressing her gender difference.

[Will Arnett]

She's mass presenting. Yeah.

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah. You know, it is interesting. When the Harry Potter books did first come out, all my Jewish friends. I mean, books. This time I'm talking movies. Okay. For real. The movies came out, all my Jewish friends were like, what the hell?

[Will Arnett]

Oh, yeah, I was totally like. Because in my mind. Because when you read it, you're like, no, I'm sure it's just like the.

[Sean Hayes]

But you apply your own, like, image

[Will Arnett]

to it and then they see it

[Jason Bateman]

to do the voice.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah. Literally. It's like everyone else has a British accent except the bank. He's like, you can't come in here. No, no, no, sir. A wizard.

[Jason Bateman]

Me.

[Will Arnett]

This. You 10. There's no good here. It's like. Like, what the hell?

[Sean Hayes]

What the.

[Jason Bateman]

Let me put on my sorting yama.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah. It's like, oh, but hold on one second. Oh, you're trying to buy a wand. We could give you a loan.

[Jason Bateman]

Y. Really up. What? It was really up. In Goblet of Fire, when the one Jewish kid puts the sorting hat on and says, you're working at the bank. He's like, am I Gryffindor? It's like, no, pal. He's like, you're sorry, you're in the bank. You're a vc.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah. He's like, oh, maybe we'll let you do one thing. You can direct the play. One Jewish kid is like, thank you, God. Like Ben Platt.

[Jason Bateman]

Like, thank you,

[Will Arnett]

Truly. It's like the fucking nightmare. Except it only is a. That only comes as a repetition of the fucking Lord of the Rings, which is like. They literally called the character a golem, who's like, oh, my precious. Again. Everyone else has British accents. Everyone else, the golem is like, where's my ring?

[Jason Bateman]

Has anyone seen my diamonds?

[Will Arnett]

Anyone seen my ring?

[Jason Bateman]

It's Passover.

[Will Arnett]

And then it's like, oh. And it's like, having the one Jewish character, Lord of the Rings is neurotic. Oh, should I go here? Should I go there?

[Jason Bateman]

What should I do?

[Will Arnett]

Should I.

[Jason Bateman]

Should I sell the ring? Should I buy the ring?

[Will Arnett]

It's like, fucking we can't. We can't. It took until Daniel Craig in Munich for anyone to be like, damn, maybe I should fucking flay off.

[Jason Bateman]

Tolkien Even worse than J.K. rowling at times, because who are the only black

[Will Arnett]

people in the military?

[Jason Bateman]

It's orcs, bad guys.

[Will Arnett]

Terrible.

[Jason Bateman]

There's no other black hair. And then people flip out when he made. When they made an elf black in the Amazon prime show, and people were like, elves aren't black. And people, Elves aren't real.

[Will Arnett]

There's a reason elves aren't black.

[Sean Hayes]

So crazy.

[Jason Bateman]

Like, people going like, there's no. You can't have a black elf. It's like, you don't understand. There's a reason Elgar elves are fake. You can make them an ALGAR BLACK

[Will Arnett]

Because J.K. rowling's father was a drunk.

[Jason Bateman]

So that's why I hope this bitch has to move back to her car.

[Sean Hayes]

I do, too.

[Jason Bateman]

You have been listening to Staying Alive with John Gabris and Adam Pali. A Smartless Media production in association with Sirius xm.

[Will Arnett]

Produced by Devin Tory Bryant and Anne Harris. Engineered and edited by Devin Tory Bryant, who also wrote the music.

[Jason Bateman]

Associate producer and video producer is Matty McCann. Social media producer Tommy Galgano.

[Will Arnett]

Assistant engineer, Kyle McGraw. Special thanks to Jared O' Connell at SiriusXM.

[Jason Bateman]

Executive producers are John Gabris. Ooh, me. Adam Pali. Ooh, you Will Arnett, Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, Richard Corson and Bernie Kaminski. Do us a favor. Just rate and review the podcast. It actually helps.

[Will Arnett]

Just so everyone knows, we do not have a discord.

[Jason Bateman]

Don't reach out to us.

[Will Arnett]

See us on the street. Walk the other way or you'll catch hands.

[Sean Hayes]

Smart less me.