Chucklepuckers (w/ Ify Nwadiwe)

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Chucklepuckers" – Staying Alive with Jon Gabrus & Adam Pally

Featuring Special Guest: Ify Nwadiwe
Release Date: April 2, 2026
Podcast Network: SmartLess Media
Summary prepared by a podcast summarizer for listeners who missed the episode

---

Episode Overview

This episode features comedian, nerd, and bona fide fitness enthusiast Ify Nwadiwe joining hosts Jon Gabrus and Adam Pally in Austin, Texas—the "new podcasting capital of America." The show continues its signature combination of raw, comedic, and relatable discussions about health, wellness, and the often absurd journey of self-improvement. The trio dives into their personal relationships with fitness, dieting fads (past and present), gym culture, masculinity, and the value of being comfortable with being a beginner—plus a big detour into women’s sports, polyamory, and the kink scene.

---

Key Topics and Discussions

1. Catching Up: Jet Lag, Food Regret, and Smoking Relapses

• Sleep & Jet Lag Woes:
  • Adam tells a story about not sleeping after a flight and being subjected for hours to Drew Barrymore’s autobiography at high volume in bed.

    "For three hours I laid in bed listening to like... 'And that's when I knew Cameron Diaz was going to be my friend for life.'" — Adam Pally (02:01)

• Food Regret & Hangover:
  • Gabrus describes eating Colombian street food at 2:40 AM and the brutal aftereffects:

    "I woke up at 8:30am and they were right about here... one of those, like, burps where I was like, that burned my teeth." — Jon Gabrus (03:05)

• The Invention of “Flyeria”:
  • Running joke emerges about “flyeria”—digestive troubles from frequent travel. (03:40–04:02)
• Smoking Update:
  • Adam reveals he’s quit cigarettes for 8 weeks after a stint in New Zealand, thanks in part to the non-smoking culture there.

    "I haven't had a cigarette in eight weeks." — Adam Pally (05:37)

2. The Fitness Landscape: America’s Most Fit Cities & Gym Culture

• Fittest Cities in America (12:06–13:34):
  • Ify reviews a surprising ranking: top cities like Arlington, VA, Washington DC, and Seattle; LA isn’t even in the top ten.
  • Discussion about factors: air quality, walking commutes, eating habits by regions.
• Gym Community & Anxieties (45:21–46:41):
  • Ify emphasizes that for most people, just getting in the gym is already a win.

    "The true gym community is a very, like, warm, open space. People are so stoked you're working out." — Ify Nwadiwe (46:03)

  • They identify the rarity of “mansplaining” or toxic behavior in gyms—the outliers, not the norm.

3. Ify’s Fitness Journey: From High School to Present

Ethos for Lifting:

• “Keep it fun and sustainable—do things you like to do. You almost have to earn it.” — Ify (16:21)
• Early influences (anime, 80s/90s action heroes, family gym heads)
• The StrongLifts 5x5 Phase:
  • "Overhead press is probably one of the worst workouts both mentally and physically." — Ify (16:42)
• Hack Diets & Supplement Stories:
  • Doing the “EC Stack” (ephedrine & caffeine), supplements, and their downsides and culture (25:43–27:51).
  • Ify admits to gaining body dysmorphia:

    “I would look in the mirror and be like: I’m not there yet. I’m not there yet.” — Ify (33:00)

• Body Image & Comedy:
  • Gabrus relates—seeing old photos and realizing others' perceptions differ from your own.

4. The Trap of Fad Diets (& Coming Off Them)

• Keto & Intermittent Fasting:
  • Ify swears by keto for cutting but warns it’s not sustainable and highlights how most rapid-change diets ultimately fail unless you build new habits (38:07–39:11).
  • Discussion about Ozempic and how modern drugs suppress appetite, yet old habits return after stopping.
• ADHD, Dopamine, and Eating:
  • The group discusses how ADHD and “dopamine addiction” can drive patterns of mindless eating, and how stimulants can either suppress or mask these tendencies (39:16–41:30).

5. Embracing Beginner Status: Learning, Failing, and Enjoying the Process (51:00–53:32)

• Ify’s Adult Hockey Odyssey:
  • Started hockey as an adult—“You have to be okay being really bad at something... that's my superpower.” — Gabrus
• Link to Progress Tracking:
  • The joy of measurable progress (lifts, sport skills) and nerdy “level up” mentality is essential to their fitness motivation.

6. Women in Sports: From Hockey to Rugby (56:17–60:55)

• Ify’s Fandom:
  • Huge supporter of women’s hockey and talks about the inclusivity and excitement of the new league (PWHL).
  • Camaraderie, skill, and diversity of women’s sports overcomes earlier stigma (WNBA, etc.)
• Rugby Shoutouts:
  • Gabrus celebrates USA Women’s Rugby for keeping men's and women's rules identical (“nothing is changed for them”)—a rare gender equity achievement (59:25)
• Insight into Team Spirit:
  • Ify describes the beer-league culture in hockey and the joy of group experiences.

7. “Chucklepuckers” & The Importance of Community and Support

• Ify’s Polyamory & the Comedy Grind:
  • Ify opens up about his polyamorous relationship, the supportive kink and comedy communities, and how finding "your people" (whether in gyms, improv, or kink) changes the game (70:23–71:09).
  • Hilarious anecdote about using government names vs. nicknames at kink events.

    “You can’t use my government name when I ask your name and you're giving me your moniker." — Ify (72:02)

8. Hotel Gyms & Gym Quality Hierarchy

• Gym Reviews and Rants:
  • Ify describes his traveling gym routines, pecking order of chains (Planet Fitness < LA/24 Fitness < Gold's), and passion for “meathead” gyms with powerlifting toys (62:48–65:41).
  • Adam Pally reads Ify’s epically long, comedic Yelp review of a subpar Gold’s Gym location (67:31–69:47).

---

Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• On health kicks & addiction:

  "I'm the only person ever to be on a C stack and gain weight." — Adam Pally (27:52)

• On gym intimidation:

  "The biggest meatheads are pumped that you’re working out. They don’t care what your weight is, they don’t care what you’re putting on the bar." — Jon Gabrus (46:03)

• On learning & humility:

  "I think one of my superpowers in life... is I'm ok being really bad at something." — Jon Gabrus (51:07)

• On diet fads:

  "All those things like the ecstack and keto is just trying to speed the process up… Any meal plan that vastly changes the way you eat, use it as an opportunity to actually change your habits." — Ify (38:07)

• On ADHD and eating:

  "You literally walk in the house and you're like, I don't feel happy… you'll grab it, you'll eat it, you'll feel a little better." — Adam Pally (39:53)

• On women’s sports:

  "What I really love about the Kings is… we had the first all-black line since the ‘40s… Yeah—I made it about race now, let's go!" — Ify (54:41)

---

Key Timestamps

• 00:44-04:15 – Travel, sleep issues, and new food regrets
• 04:15-08:00 – Adam’s smoking update and New Zealand health culture
• 12:06-14:29 – America's "fittest cities" debate and fitness index variables
• 16:21-19:56 – Ify’s fitness ethos and program journey
• 25:43-27:51 – The “EC Stack”, gym chemical culture, and consequences
• 33:00-35:07 – Real-time body dysmorphia; comedy/photo memories
• 38:07-39:53 – Why fad diets don’t work (and how to manage the “off-ramp”)
• 45:21-46:41 – Debunking gym judgment; why the gym is a safe space
• 51:01-53:32 – Being bad at new things & learning hockey as an adult
• 56:17-60:55 – Ify on women's hockey, PWHL, and the culture of women’s sports
• 62:48-65:41 – Ify’s rituals for finding the right gym on the road
• 67:31-69:47 – Dramatic reading of Ify’s epic Gold’s Gym Yelp review
• 70:23-71:09 – Polyamory, kink events, and identity inside/outside communities

---

Episode Takeaways

• Sustainability & Enjoyment: Progress in health and fitness comes from habits you can stick with, not simply chasing a quick fix.
• Community Over Competition: Both gyms and comedy are better when the focus is welcoming, not judgmental.
• Don't Fear the “Bad”: Being a beginner is honorable—progress tracks over time, whether it's in a gym, sport, or creative field.
• Look for Your People: Support, fun, and growth come from finding your crowd—be it in fitness, hobbies, or relationships.
• Real Talk on Image and Pressure: Even those perceived as fit or successful can struggle with body image and self-worth, especially in public arenas.
• Inclusion and Representation Matter: Representation in all spheres—sports, comedy, kink—makes all of us stronger.

---

Where to Find Ify

• All platforms: @IfyNwadiwe / ifycomedy.com
• Podcast: "Funniest Handsful" and "relationship pod with Emmy and Ify" (polyamory & relationships)
• Live: Check his site for stand-up tour dates.

---

Final Memorable Moment

“I'm in the kink community these days... doesn't go by Gabrus anymore. Call me Jonathan. When I'm doing BDSM, I'm Jonathan.”
— Jon Gabrus, joking on new identities (70:36)

---

If you want honesty, humor, and the real gross stuff about health, fitness, and how to survive being a human—this episode nails it.

Listen if you're into:

• Candid fitness talk (with zero shaming)
• Laugh-out-loud stories
• Deep dives into community, joy, and the messiness of self-improvement

Skip if you’re looking for influencer perfection.

---

Transcript

[A]

Smart. Less mediocre. If we're gonna just roll into. We don't do much obviously, as you

[B]

know, but Gigi and my dad are at Hamilton to play.

[C]

They waited till you left to do it without you.

[A]

Now you're hardballing.

[B]

My dad has seen it 17 times.

[C]

Really? Yeah.

[B]

He's like Bradley Whitford from.

[A]

Another studio. We love to shake it up here on Staying Alive. We go to fully different.

[B]

You know, it would be my, my. And I'm not. This is. No, I don't. I don't want to spoil the beans and say we're having a season two, but you know what would would be all my true dream for season two if we were always in a different studio.

[A]

Yeah. Just every time they were like.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And one time it's clearly the set for like. Mr. Mayor, thank you so much for coming alive.

[B]

I did the dumbest thing the other day. Real quick tell you this. I did the dumbest fucking thing. So we got. We got back from New Zealand on Thursday. It's like four in the morning and Danielle and I are lying in bed staring at the fucking ceiling like we cannot sleep. And she's like tossing, turning. She's starting to get like, really mad, you know? And you know Daniela. So she's starting to be like. She's scared from a distance, right? She's starting to be like, oh, like three hours tomorrow we have to be up three hours. I can't believe we. We slept on the plan too much, you know? And I'm like, try listening to a book. Maybe she puts on Drew Barrymore's autobiography on audible, like full volume.

[A]

No, no headphones.

[B]

No, no headphones. Because you're married.

[A]

Like a teen on the F train.

[B]

Yes. And so for three hours I laid in bed listening to like. And that's when I knew Cameron Diaz was going to be my friend for life.

[A]

I kissed Jimmy Fallon in Fenway.

[B]

Truly. And it's like, Danielle, are you slee.

[A]

No.

[B]

Like, okay, good night. Watching the slow sun. Like, slow. Like the sun is like coming up like a creeping its head. And while you're hearing Charlie's Angels was one of the most compelling times I've ever had.

[A]

So much Lucy L. And if L. Julia Gulia.

[B]

Like, I'm going to kill myself.

[A]

I love you, Barry. More.

[B]

I love her too, but it's like the voice at. When you're jet lag. You want to hear like you. I will. I would rather hear.

[A]

I want to hear nothing.

[B]

I want to hear the wooing of a fan.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, I don't want to hear, I don't. The last thing I want to hear is, like, my true comedic passion live from Buster Keaton to Molly Shannon.

[A]

That's a good list. Speaking of not sleeping well, I ate Colombian food from the food truck and arepa and a couple empanadas at 2:40 in the morning. And I woke up at 8:30am and they were right about here. Yeah, I did one of those, like, burps where I was like, that burned my teeth.

[B]

Yeah, you mouth farted.

[A]

Yes. Yeah, dude, I, I was like, I was like, I, I've never. Look, I'm disgusting, but I, I woke up this morning going like, you need to brush your teeth. I was like, you must brush your teeth.

[B]

I, I, I had a. Not as fun a night as you. Like, I left our show in Austin and I, and I for some reason have like, jet lag stomach as the only thing I can chalk it up.

[A]

Fly area.

[B]

Fly area. I have fly area.

[A]

We've never said that, you and I. All we do is fly and shit. And we never came up with flyeria.

[B]

We're making flyer reappeals.

[A]

We'll make fly area shirts.

[B]

No fly area pills. We did it right here, which is a copy. Imodium

[A]

Rewrap Ammonium pills as flyeria.

[B]

But.

[A]

And so I'm not flying till Tuesday, but I think I'm gonna have a little bout of flyeria right after this as well.

[B]

Oh, man, my flyer was crazy. So one of the things I was going to catch you up about was I had been smoking cigarettes.

[A]

Dude, when I left, this makes me.

[B]

You were very mad at me. Yeah, everyone was mad. And I want to bring. Everyone was mad in my life. You.

[A]

This is the most Adam sentence ever. Everyone was mad at me.

[B]

Well, you and my wife, which are the only two people in my life, and Anne, who also was not pleased.

[A]

Hard, hard to picture Anne mad, but yeah.

[B]

No, and you were. When I let down. I saw your face on the zoom when I said that I had been smoking cigarettes. You were let down.

[A]

It is 2026.

[B]

No. So I went to New Zealand to work on a, on a TV show. A great experience, Unbelievable crew and everything. And first day on set and I asked for a cigarette and I was chastised for smoking cigarettes.

[A]

They're too healthy of a country.

[B]

It's just not, it's just not in their culture, really. And I was like, oh, my God. I looked around and there was not a grip smoking a butt. There was not a catering guy smoking it was no one on the crew. Smoking a butt, Vaping.

[A]

Are they vaping?

[B]

Vaping?

[A]

A little.

[B]

But, like, not really. It's just not like, part of, like, they're. And they party. It's not. But it's just like the ends to the mean. They don't even have, like, Zen down there.

[A]

So, like, God, maybe I need to move there.

[B]

Nicotine hasn't, like, is not there. And, and so it took like two days. I haven't had a cigarette in eight weeks.

[A]

Good for you, man. I'm very happy. I know you, you can say now everyone is happy with you.

[B]

Yeah. No.

[A]

Well, your wife might not be.

[B]

No, I was going to say everyone's not happy.

[A]

She's happy you're not smoking cigarettes. It doesn't mean she's happy.

[B]

No. Yeah, yeah. Danielle is really psyched that I'm not smoking cigarettes.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

She's miserable with me.

[A]

That's a lot of other stuff. It's going to take a little more than eight weeks. Yeah, sort of.

[B]

I've been working on that for the last 20 years.

[A]

That's why I'm very happy to hear, like, that's like, that's something we should leave behind in 20, 25.

[B]

I'm gonna try my hardest. And I think, I think, I think, I mean, not, not knock on wood. But like, last night we were out, I had a few drinks and didn't even have the urge to ask anybody for a cigarette. So I feel like I'm back.

[A]

If you're at, like, a festival partying and you're not blasting. Yeah.

[B]

Think about it.

[A]

That's a good sign because that's like ultimate. A cigarette. I think I feel weird saying that.

[B]

Well, I think it is. I think it was fine. We'll, we'll bring the volume off. But I, I, I think that naked. One of the things. I would love to talk about this with you more is, like, positive. The things that were admonished in the past that do now actually have some sort of positivity about it. Like, we've been talking about nicotine, positive nicotine and positive steroids and stuff.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

And I do think that nicotine is functional. So it is. Like, I can't, I don't know if I'll be like, oh, I've never have another cigarette.

[A]

Right, right. Because you might need the functionality of nicotine at some point.

[B]

No, I can just see myself on a night shoot or something being like, I need. Being like, yeah, something. So, like, I don't want to say that, but I, I Think I'm good as long I.

[A]

And I haven't everything in moderation. But if you, if you are not a smoker, that's the victory. You know what I mean?

[B]

Like. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Have you blasted.

[B]

I haven't no dart blasting, which to me is like the wor. Just like I could call an U. Like that's when I get in my. When I'm smoking. It's like bad is like I'll go, I'll. I'll have it know I need to get an Uber or something and I'll go downstairs and smoke before I call the. You know what I mean? Because I'm like, I'll just casually do this because I have a cigarette or something.

[A]

Yeah. While you look at your phone. Like what's the address where I'm going?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, like. And it does your day. Like you don't have that. So the day is just moving. Yeah.

[A]

You know, getting more stuff done.

[B]

Yeah. Truly no smoke breaks.

[A]

Well, it's exciting to be in Austin. Of course we didn't get any Austin based talent because we didn't want actual fitness influencers.

[B]

Also we were afraid that they would kill us.

[A]

Yeah. They'd show up and. And make us do kettlebell.

[B]

I put an offer out to Uncle Laser, but I never heard back.

[A]

Yeah. Liver King couldn't make it. Apparently is having a steroid over and

[B]

I have three separate Joe Biden impersonators who are waiting their bubble on. Their text is still going.

[A]

Big Jay Okerson is trying to find his fingerless gloves to do the next episode.

[B]

One more Austin based comic. Do a Joe Biden impression. I'. Dog.

[A]

Yeah. Relevant. I'm tired of Trump impressions and I like doing it and I'm tired of it.

[B]

Like I would almost rather a Trump impression than someone.

[A]

At least he is the current president.

[B]

Someone's like, remember the president ago?

[A]

Yeah. He's like almost.

[B]

No.

[A]

Charmless and has nothing about him.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. He's a bad impression.

[B]

Even. Even impersonated.

[A]

I hate Biden and his impersonators.

[B]

You know, every Joe Biden impression sucks, dude. It's always just like, yeah, yeah, fat.

[A]

Hey.

[B]

It's basically just. It's basically just white men doing Jennifer Coolidge.

[A]

Yeah. It's the heterose Jennifer Coolidge.

[B]

Where did I leave that hot dog?

[A]

Where did I leave that hot dog? It's a crazy sentence no matter who's.

[B]

Yeah. But it's like, oh, there it is.

[A]

These gays are eating my hot dog.

[B]

These gays, they're eating my hot dogs.

[A]

We Have a fucking great guest today. I was super. One of our favorites and one of the few guests we'll have who will visibly sit down. You'll know. Actually does fitness. Yes.

[B]

No, this is one. This is the only guest that hits us in every crosshair.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. He's a comedy, a nerd, and fucking. Actually lifts weights. He's fucking. Yo.

[B]

And it's cool.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, man. It was so fun to come to Austin and hang out with our LA friend, Ify Waddaway. So stay tuned.

[B]

ENJ.

[A]

Holy. Here we are, New York, Louisiana, Louisiana, having a conversation in Austin, Texas, the new podcasting capital of America.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, look. We followed our president, Joe Rogan, to Austin.

[A]

You've been doing leg press with fucking RFK with your jeans on, hitting the sauna and cold plunge and full pants.

[C]

That has caused, like, a very interesting, like, you know, like, argument in the meathead online community because you have, like, you know, because I think the knee jerk thing is like, oh, you know, bad form and all this stuff. And like, Jay Jordan called out the leg press.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

But when he did the. I think he benched 315.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And people were like, that's not it. And they're like, look, I don't like the guy, but this is 315. He. He hit that joint.

[A]

If he gets more people in the world to lift in America, to lift

[B]

weights, to do legs.

[A]

Yeah. RFK is such a specific guy because he's right, like, 25% of the time. And you're like, yes, let's processed food out of the kids cereal. But then he's like, and let's start eating bear brains. And you're like, okay, lose me with that.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, my God.

[B]

But I do think that there is that other thing that Jay pointed out, which was that that sauna wasn't on.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Which is that if you were in there in jeans on an assault, like, you'd have a fudgeing heart attack.

[B]

But that's what I mean. Like, it's like there's, I think the worst thing, like, being right a quarter of the time is worse when the other three times you're lying. Yeah.

[C]

You know, because you're going to. That's how you're going to get people eating bear.

[B]

Exactly. It's like.

[A]

But you get.

[B]

You get people, e. Bear aquarium cleaner.

[A]

That blue methyl blue shit.

[B]

Drink this. It won't fuck your voice at all.

[A]

It is funny to be doing a health and wellness podcast in Austin. I feel crazy. I feel like I'm behind Enemy Lines.

[B]

I feel it. That's how I felt.

[A]

I feel like I want to vote for Lindsey Graham.

[B]

Your brothers at home are like, finally.

[A]

Yeah. Everyone in my Long island family is like, he's turning around. He's coming back from the socialist edge.

[C]

Did you see they did like that list and y' all might have already covered it of like the like fittest cities.

[A]

No.

[C]

California, we got like, I think it was like six. And I was like, really shocked. Yeah. I was like, truly on it.

[B]

I'm shocked because of vanity and because of outdoor activity. Yes. Like weather. The two things that shocked me, like, maybe that is the sign of the times that Hollywood is no longer in Los Angeles.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Because if the vanity of movies and television does not make you fit.

[A]

Yeah. I feel like, unfortunately, where Austin is like the fitness capital now, it's like kettlebell city. No. Who's number one?

[C]

So top ten. Arlington, Virginia.

[B]

I was just gonna say one.

[A]

What?

[B]

Yeah. Because the Army. The army's there.

[C]

Yeah. Ironically to what we were just talking about. Number two, Washington, dc.

[B]

Well, hex now. The hex that's there. Yeah.

[C]

Number three, Seattle, Washington. Number four, San Francisco hills. Five. Denver, Colorado.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah. Six.

[C]

Minneapolis fighting ice.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Seven.

[B]

Running from ice and cold.

[A]

Seven.

[C]

It is Madison, Wisconsin. Eight is Atlanta, Georgia. Nine is Sacramento and ten is San Diego. So we. Los Angeles isn't even.

[A]

First of all, what is the metrics they're using there? Like gyms per capita?

[C]

Yeah. They were like, yeah, it's not like max bench press.

[B]

No. Because Atlanta cannot be weight. Like I've been, I've lived in Atlanta for long periods of time. Weight is an issue in that sense.

[A]

Well, that's where you get into where Atlanta is like a cool, hip city, but it is in the south where.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Drinking sweet tea and eating pie.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So according to this, the fitness index Results based on 35 evidence based indicators show three indicators. Change in unhealthy direction. Direction, air quality, food insecurity, air quality, reports of excellent or very good health. Oh, and each is getting slightly worse. So I think it's getting.

[A]

It's not necessarily into most jacked or most fast, mild or heaviest bench. But that's interesting because air quality would tank Los Angeles.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. That feels like that was to fuck us.

[A]

It's actually kind of funny. We're like, we don't smoke here, we eat avocado, we take our weed gummy and hike. But we do breathe this air, which is slowly killing us anyway.

[B]

Well, as a New Yorker, I do wonder if maybe we're getting a little shafted on this list because you.

[A]

It's the steps like everyone.

[B]

000 as soon as people move to New York they start shedding weight because they're like oh I have to walk.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Everywhere. And they're. And like I feel like that general commute is not factored into that.

[C]

But also pizza and bagels are the

[B]

cheapest true dumplings you get like

[C]

you're. You're building that.

[B]

That's true.

[A]

I do say I lived in New York for 10 years and put on 5,000.

[B]

Maybe forget New York. Maybe forget New York.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

How come. How come Rome's not in there?

[A]

Well cuz the thing about New York that was like you could just drink until 4 in the morning and then eat at 4:30.

[B]

New York and Chicago is. You're going to cancel out any walking you you're doing.

[A]

Blown away. The Madison's on the list. That's one of the beer capitals of the world. Those Wisconsin people. They. They drink for real.

[B]

Yeah. But they. They're churning their own curd and it's like yeah.

[C]

Doing all that.

[A]

Royal Caribbean takes next level to another level. Go all in on the world's boldest ships. Filled with mind blowing entertainment. World class dining and the largest water parks at sea. And just when you think it couldn't get any better you'll stop at our award winning private island Perfect day Cococay. It's an unreal adventure for everyone in the family book [e-mail] Big Time Best

[D]

Time all the time.

[A]

Come seek the Royal Caribbean ships registry Bahamas.

[B]

What are you doing to stay alive?

[C]

Oh man. Right now just I'm doing a lot of like you know like weightlifting.

[B]

Take me through your like.

[A]

Yeah. What are your what's your at least ethos for lifting? Where are you at?

[C]

Yeah. So my ethos for lifting is like keeping it fun and like doing things that are sustainable and that you like to do. Like I think a lot of people they start off their going to the gym and they're like oh man. Like I hate this workout. And it's like you almost have to earn it right. Where when I was doing strong lifts you.

[A]

The five by five.

[C]

Yeah the five by fives. Your workout a was like squats, bench press bent over rows and then your workout be with squats overhead press and deadlifts and like overhead press is probably one of the worst workouts both like mentally and physically. It's very hard because physically you're lifting something over your head.

[A]

It also requires like, weird shoulders, shoulder stability and flexibility that doesn't necessarily correlate with strength and shape. Exactly. Yeah.

[B]

I also find. And this is gonna be the biggest, like, baby thing with overhead press. But I don't like looking in the lights. Oh. But any time that I'm in the mirror or whatever and you're in that position where things are going over your head.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I get almost like. I just like. Yeah, I don't like the feeling of that. You know what I mean? I much prefer a deadlift or something where I'm focused and I'm keeping my like, head up or something.

[C]

But also, you're. It's probably the fact that what I was gonna say, like, the hardest mental thing is you're lifting something heavy over your head and you're like, if I fail this, I might. I might not make it home. And so I think that makes it like a brutal workout. But it's also paired with a squat and a deadlift. And I feel like deadlifts are just a workout people love to do because your numbers are usually higher than any of your numbers. Of course.

[A]

My least favorite, really. And I'm. When I'm powerlifting. Yeah. Because I have like, lower back issues. I think because I'm a gut and quad dominant based guy. I don't have. I have no donk, I have no backyard and. But I'm working on that.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

But when I power in my powerlifting meet my deadlift and squat, my squat was only like 15 pounds below my max deadlift. And that's never the case. Usually people have like £100.

[C]

Usually. Like people. Like back years ago, I remember people would try and like surmise what your bench press should be based on your deadlift, where it's like, oh, you're doing like, like, you know, 500, then you're. Then yours. You know, your bench press should be like, higher than that.

[A]

I think I did 424 squat in the meet and then 446 on the deadlift. And most people who do 424 and squat are pulling high fours, if not low fives.

[B]

Yeah. So were you.

[A]

I also have like little hands and it limits me on a lot of the grip stuff.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, that, that. I have little fat hands too, and it hurts on pull ups.

[A]

Yeah, pull ups. My hands aren't the limiting factor on pull ups. I know.

[B]

I just started to be able to. I can, I can't. I can do more than one now. Fucking. That's like the best, the best feeling.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Well, I Was gonna ask that's.

[A]

All of a sudden you feel like an old, like old timey, like sailor.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Now. Or like a blue collar guy where you're like, I could just bang out pull ups.

[B]

I was walking in the city and I grabbed. Jumped on the scaffold with Cole and I did like two full, like, chin ups. And he was like, whoa. I was like, yeah, dude, your dad's fucking lit. But what I was gonna ask you. Wait.

[A]

I just wanna jump back to what Ify was saying before we.

[B]

About weights?

[A]

Yeah, about weights.

[B]

Yeah, go ahead.

[A]

I'm gonna say, so what are you. You said you gotta keep it fun for yourself. And the strong lifts was like, you know, brutal. So what are you doing to.

[C]

Only the overhead press was brutal. What I do is I'm just mixing it up all the time because for me, I'm someone who can just get bored if I feel like I'm going in and I'm doing the same thing over and over. And so I was doing. There's this guy, Beastmo Jones. I bought his program and that was fun because it was just.

[B]

Hold on, let's back up.

[A]

Can you book Beast Mode Jones, please?

[B]

And write that down? That's something we're gonna have to look. Beast Mode Jones. So where did. How did that come across your desk?

[C]

Oh, well, because he was just like another like, bodybuilding influencer.

[B]

It hit your phone?

[C]

Yeah, it hit my phone. This was like years ago. And he. And he kept talking about his program and his program is called Get Hoe Ready.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

If I would. If I came across Get Hoe Ready, I would take a picture and send it to you specifically. It seems so perfect.

[C]

It's in my drive. But I was like. Because I felt like myself kind of plateauing because I was like, I feel like I'm not making any forward momentum. I need to switch things up. I usually, like, ever since I started lifting, because the 5x5 program was kind of like set and go. And then I would do auxiliary stuff once I started moving back into splits. You're doing pretty much the stuff you did in high school. Other stuff you've seen. This is the first time I was like, let me just get a program and see what else is going on. And it was great because it just expanded my, like, you know, library of

[A]

workouts stuff you wouldn't necessarily program for yourself. Now you're like, I guess I got to do reverse lunges. Yeah. Because Beast.

[C]

Yeah. Bespoke Jones has asked me to do the face pulls, you know, doing some of that, I'm like, well, can I.

[B]

Can I go back to my question? Which is what? Similar to what I was going to ask you because you're. You're making it fun. You're learning how to get out of a standard five by five. But was this always, like, was the gym always a place that you felt comfortable? Because I think that, like, for a lot of people, especially our people that listen to us and. And look like us.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

The gym is a journey that is midway. Like, that's already getting in that building is already, like, good for you.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Was that always. Were you always, like, high school athlete? Like, how did this go?

[C]

I wasn't even really that much of a high school athlete. Like, I did track and field in high school because my dad never let me play football. When he came out here from Nigeria, his first roommate was a guy who got paralyzed in college playing football. So that was his fear.

[A]

That'll turn you off.

[B]

Yeah, but that's a classic. Like, like, that's an American immigrant tale where, like, something bad happens and your parent hears it and they're like, no football.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I heard one story that was.

[C]

That was just, you know, that was his argument for anything is if he had a story, you couldn't do it.

[B]

I feel like that has been like, my grandma will. Will say stuff to me will be like, well, you put cash in the mattress, right? You're like, what? And she's like, well, on my way over, a gypsy told me that.

[A]

Yeah. Like, my mom's friend's kid died one night when he was drinking Red Bull with, like, a heart condition. And we were like, red Bull was banned in our house. And I was like, mom, I'm positive the guy was doing cookies.

[B]

I'm pretty sure the Red Bull was what they told the cop.

[C]

Yeah. So. So. So I always wanted to. You know, I like the gym. I have, like, an aunt who, like, was always, like, a fitness person. Like, she had the Thai Bo weights and so, like, karate champion, California.

[B]

Where. Where. Where you. Where did you.

[C]

So I grew up in Compton, and then I was in. My mom lived in Long beach, so I was bouncing between Compton and Long beach between my dad and mom.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

And, like, my aunt at. My mom was like, a fitness head. And, like, a lot of them were always trying to do, like, the fad diets, like, and that was huge for our age.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. My mom did, like, the Weight Watchers.

[C]

The Jenny Craig.

[A]

The Jenny Craig. So many different points.

[B]

The advocates, white women's names.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Would be on boxes in were like, all right. Yeah. I be like, what? The caffeine of Jimmy's Slim Fast. You're like, the. Am I eating?

[C]

But I feel like if you're, you know, a kid who grew up around the time we grew up and you watched anime, it was like it activated certain kids. Like a sleeper agent, where you're like, yeah, I should get buffed like Goku. I should.

[A]

And so Arnold Schwarzenegger was my anime. Like, I grew up, like, I think I'm a little older than you and Pumping iron. Yeah, pumping iron. Iron. But the action movie, specifically Conan Commando. You're just like, whoa. And then you get. And then I was like a kid who was 13, and I had a muscle and fitness magazine subscription and that, and my dad would watch me look at it and I'd be like, why is my dad, like, cringing at me? And I'm like, oh, he thinks I'm gay. I'm like, holy. Look at this guy's back. Look at Serge Olivier's back. Look at Franco Colombo's hamstrings.

[B]

Why don't you look at Pam Anderson?

[A]

Jay Cutler's thighs are bananas.

[B]

Why don't we watch Baywatch?

[C]

YE Coleman. Yeah. So I. So I've always kind of was lifting, but, you know, I. I was doing the first, like, the high school lifting that you do, right? You go

[B]

a gym teacher. A gym teacher is like, you do legs.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Arms.

[C]

And then I was doing tracks. We're doing a lot of pull cleans and all that stuff, but you weren't there. I didn't have, you know, like, the drive. It didn't connect yet. When it connected was shortly after high school. I have a cousin who I went to go hang out with him, and he was like, solid, you know, he like. He was like. He was like. And I was like, yo, what happened? He was like, oh. I started doing the five by five lifts. And I was like, oh, man. Okay. And, you know, I was going to the gym at the time, but once again, I was doing that. Like, you're just taking all the stuff you learned. And he was like, yeah. He was like, I like it. Because whenever I go up and wait, it feels like I leveled up. And that was it. It was like. It was like. It was like. It connected. It was like, oh, connected.

[A]

Like rpg. Yeah, yeah. Anime to lifting weights, dude. The same thing happened to me. When you can track progress, you start quantifying it and you're like, I used to bench 225 for reps. Now I do 255 reps. I'm objectively stronger.

[C]

Exactly.

[A]

Yeah. I now have a 17 in strength

[C]

instead of a 15. It became like my favorite video game because I was like, oh, this is a thing. And now I'm tracking it against him and now I'm doing it. And so like I started going it and then I went through all like, it was like peak. Like this is like, you know, the late aughts. I want to say like 2007, 2008. So peak like bodybuilding.com hack. So I was doing like the ecstack where the echedra.

[A]

Caffeine.

[C]

Yep. If you don't know what the EC stack is. Ephedrine was outlawed because people don't know how to just take a good thing and not overdo it. But it was in a bunch of diet pills. But meatheads found out was ephedrine the.

[B]

I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so.

[C]

That's.

[A]

The catron is in. I was in hydroxy cut and xenodrine.

[B]

Yeah. There's also DJ Tanner passing out on the. Was taking pills on the. On the treadmill.

[C]

Yeah, that was that caffeine.

[B]

That was caffeine.

[C]

Yeah. But it is same, same, same.

[A]

Okay. I used to get out. I used to take rip fuel and then you take your body temperature and be like 101. Yeah, yeah.

[C]

It was like just be sweating on

[A]

the way to the gym.

[C]

There science behind it. But really it was like people like

[A]

yak up and go lift.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. People were just like doing too much. Because also, you know if you take something like that and you take pre workout, you're probably going to have a

[A]

heart attack right on the toilet.

[C]

But people found out that the bronchitis medicine, bronchade had ephedrine in it. So they would tell you the dosage to put like you would start off with like half a broncade, half a caffeine pill hill. And then you would work your way up to when you were just taking. Taking it three times a day and you were just like sweating. And I was working like a desk job at the time. So I'm just in this dress shirt sweating, just doing it. People like, what? But it's like because of the. It's like thermogenic. So because your body temp's high, you're burning off your body.

[B]

Is that why, like Jake Paul was sweating through like his suit and stuff? Yeah, because you're just like.

[C]

Yeah, that or cocaine. You know, like, it's like.

[B]

But I've been There, I've done that.

[C]

Yeah, but, but it's like, yeah, you're

[A]

on the sea stack.

[B]

Yeah, I was on a C stack. I've been on a C stack. Yeah. I'm the only person ever to be on a sea stack and gain weight.

[A]

Hey, I've, I'm your doctor and I've never told anyone this, but I think you need to do more cocaine.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Apparently it makes me stay up longer to eat.

[A]

I'm able to stay at the china

[B]

buffet for way I would because like that's the one thing when you are, when you are ripping it like that. It's like the end of the night when you're like, well, you know how I'm going to put myself down and, and is I'm going to have like the biggest meal ever and sleep like a snake and that's the way to like get myself down from this like

[A]

shaky corner, giant nasty meal and a jerk off. Oh my gosh, I need to go.

[B]

Like you go to bed like, and then you get.

[A]

Doesn't work as well.

[B]

And then like a month, a month of those parties, you wake up and you look like John Belushi ye. And you're like, oh shit, he was 27.

[D]

You know you need fiber for a healthy gut. But do you actually know how to get it? Quaker's been serving UP fiber since 1877 with over 100 great tasting, good source of fiber options to choose from. Whether you like old fashioned oats, instant oatmeal granola or oatmeal squirrel squares, Quaker makes it delicious.

[A]

So good.

[D]

Get your fiber with Quaker shop, Quaker's good source of fiber products at a store near you.

[E]

The problem with radio is we can't show you our new box packed with a KFC snacker, five nuggets, fries and a drink for just $7. So you'll just have to trust us when we say the crispy golden fried breading will make your mouth water. You'll have to trust us when we say this is a ridiculous amount of chicken for such a small price. And you'll have to really trust us when we insist that yes, it really is only $7. $7 box feast from KFC. Trust us, it's finger licking.

[A]

Good prices and participation may vary.

[F]

Avoiding your unfinished home projects because you're not sure where to start. Thumbtack knows homes, so you don't have to. Don't know the difference between matte paint finish and satin or what that clunking sound from your dryer is with thumbtack you don't have to be a home pro, you just have to hire one. You can hire top rated pros, see price estimates and read reviews all on the Internet app Download today.

[A]

So I, I remember this time I was ecstack. You get on the creatine and the glutamine. Maybe you're doing zinc, magnesium, aspartame, ZMA before bed or ZMAS before bed. Yeah, the ZMA was like zinc and magnesium, which was supposed to help with recovery, but when I started taking it, zma, zmass, I would have such intense dreams that I would have like, I'd have like crazy nightmares and I'm like, wow, I've been having nightmares for four months. What did I change? And I'm like, whoa, maybe it's these. Stop taking them. I'm like, okay, I saw zero fitness results except I had waking nightmares for two months. I'm like, what am I doing to my. And I'm like 21.

[C]

Well, yeah, because especially when you're like, you're still in that, like, I can never die invincible moment. So you're willing to like do all these body hacks.

[A]

With hindsight also you're at, you're at your most fucking, like, androgenic anyway. I wish I didn't do anything and just focus on lifting and eating.

[C]

Truly all I needed was Adderall so I can keep my consistency and focus. But I, yeah, I was doing all those things and I was cutting. And then I came down to LA proper because I was in. At the time I was in Long beach. But then I started ucb and then I like.

[B]

So living in Long beach and Compton doing ucb. So like you're, you're driving. Driving must have been wild.

[C]

Yeah, so I was. So I was living in Compton, then I was living in Compton, going to school in Downey, then we lived in Downey for a short bit.

[B]

That's like what, hour 15?

[C]

Yeah, yeah. And then we were in Downey for a bit before I moved in with my mom in Long beach. And then I stayed with her, moved with my girlfriend in Garden Grove for a year and then I moved to la. But so I was like driving from Long beach to Norwalk to work, and then I started taking UCB classes. And because of that, the whole gym schedule started getting messed up. I'm drinking beers every night. And so this was, this is when I realized I had like a body dysmorphia thing because I was doing the EC stack. I was, I was like getting like, cut. Hold on. I think I Have a picture of me when I was doing it. But I would look in the mirror and be like, I'm not there yet. I'm not there yet. And you're just like. Like, never, like, appreciating it. I'm just like, yeah.

[A]

The worst part, one time, I saw an old picture of myself with my best friend Sanford. I saw an old picture of myself, and we were looking at it, and he goes, fuck, dude, we called you fat back then.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I was like, £190.

[B]

Well, that's. It's funny that you're saying, because I. I'm thinking back to when I met you, which must have been 10, 15 years ago. And I always thought of you as, like, cut.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, like, I mean, obviously things have gotten, you know.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

To where you are now. But I always thought of you as, like, if he's cut, you know? So it's. It's. It's so funny.

[C]

This is how I looked, and I was like, I'm not there yet. I'm not there yet. There yet.

[A]

Oh, my Dude.

[B]

Jonathan Majors. Yeah.

[A]

Without all the baggage.

[B]

Yeah. Well,

[C]

I'll send this to you so people can see this, please.

[B]

Yeah, please send that to me.

[A]

I mean, I have it on my phone.

[B]

You know, you said it to me.

[C]

But then I, like, go into. I. I go. So I'm just eating terribly. Like, I was going to that tomato pie next to the place where the classes were drinking beers, because we're getting paid for beers in beer clubhouse.

[B]

Having our lives taken advantage of by a cult.

[C]

And so we're just like. I like, remember I looked at myself on. In a picture, and I was just on stage sideways, which I was like. And that's when I know. I'm like, okay, it's time to lock in. Whenever I hit the point where I don't want to be caught on stage sideways, because you just see the silhouette.

[A]

That, like, Alfred Hitchcock silhouette. You're like, oh, I better get my.

[B]

To go. There's a picture in UCB New York of me, like, from. It must be from, like, 2004 or something, with gill on my shoulders and God knows what bit it was. But I'm leaning forward in a white T shirt, because I am. And I've never seen my stomach be so big and low. It looks like I'm carrying low.

[C]

Oh, man.

[B]

You know what I mean? And I'm wearing tight jeans, and it's,

[A]

like, up forever now.

[B]

Yeah. And it's like. And I'm so styled for, like, that moment in Time. I'm wearing tight jeans and a long T shirt. I look like a fucking. And like, I'm. And it's on the wall at UCB New York, and I'm like, God, they should let us choose. We're going to be up there.

[C]

Yeah, let me. Let me. Let me veto this. Let me find a better moment or angle.

[B]

But it is awful. An improv picture specifically is worse than any standup picture. An improv picture is the worst way to be photographed, in my opinion.

[C]

Oh, yeah, because you're usually, like, just mid either sentence or you're doing some kind of unflattering kind of pose or.

[B]

Yeah, because you're trying something to do a good show.

[A]

To do a good improv show, you kind of have to release the idea of self.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I have to stop thinking of yourself as what you look like, who you are, and you have to be part of this organism that is the live show. And then when someone takes a picture of you, you're like, that's what I looked like when I was playing. Like, you're like, oh, I was playing a penguin. But I'm like, yeah. Oh, truly.

[B]

I could have been doing it on purpose.

[A]

Right.

[B]

You know, I don't remember what. I don't remember what I was doing. But now it's like, well, that's that fat on the wall. You know, it's like an improv picture is damning.

[C]

It is funny how it fluctuates. But. So because of that, when I started getting it again, and this time, I think this is when it led, I was kind of going, like, back and forth. And then I was in my. Like, first I was doing intermittent fasting, and I cut a bunch. And honestly, that I should have, like, kept going because. But then, like, when I looked up, like, what. Why does it work? What's going. I was like, oh, because your body's going into ketosis. I was like, oh, then I'm gonna do the keto diet. And that's when I got, like, super shredded.

[A]

That one's a little hard. Yeah, that one's hard on the body.

[C]

It's hard. It is. And then this is like, me telling people, don't do it, because, like, one. It really. Well, honestly, one thing I'll give it credit for, because everyone's like, once I stopped, I got it all back. I didn't what happened for me. And one of the main reasons that I stopped was because we had a whole pandemic. And I remember, like, you got sick of washing your meat. Yeah, I got Sick of like. Because like then you're in this mode where, where you're like, I need to eat things that make me happy and carbs make you happy?

[A]

Yeah, objectively.

[C]

Well, genuinely objectively. Cause have you seen that brother son show?

[A]

No.

[C]

It's really dope. What sucks is it didn't get another season. But it's these brothers who. Yeah, I think we've all been there. I think everyone in this room has been there. But it was like this action like karate show.

[A]

Michelle Yeoh, like is the mom in it?

[C]

Yes, it was really good. But like the main character's like shredded. And I remember I did some show with him, Jenny Yang show. And he was backstage and he was like, I will never do that again. He was like, I didn't eat any bread so that I can get shredded. And he was like, I was a dick.

[B]

I.

[C]

He was like, I feel bad because I think some of the crew might think I'm an asshole. And then as soon as I ate bread after we finished that shirtless segment, I was a different person and I was like, oh yeah, no, I really think it is a thing. But really like what I'll get to, to kind of truncate the keto thing is that all those things like the ecstack and keto is just trying to like speed the process up. And that's the reason why every time you do those, everyone's like, it goes right back. Especially like if you are going to do it. If you are like in your early 20s listening to this and you're like, well, those guys survived that I can survive. Just know like any meal plan you go that vastly changes the way you eat. You should use that as an opportunity when you back to eating regular foods to change the way you eat. Do not eat the same way that got you.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Because I think that's what happens right Is like people are like, I'm going off keto and I'm just eat the same portions, eat the same amount. And it's like, well, that's why our bodies were bigger because we did that. And also if you're. If you're happier, bigger than, so be it. But if you're trying to keep a fit form, then just know when the off ramp of any of this, you know, is you starting to like a lot of people are like, you know, people are like gaining all the weight.

[A]

Oh.

[C]

After like ozempic is like, yeah. Because those epic was helping you not eat the amount of food that got you to the weight. So if you're Going off of Ozempic, you need to have your body learned. Yeah.

[A]

And your mind learned that you're like, these are the actual.

[B]

But I think that's a different thing because. Because when you're on those medicines, it is legit working scientifically to, like, make you full. Make you full. To prevent the feeling of wanting more.

[C]

Exactly. So I think it's like, you have to. To, like, realize that. So that when you're off, even though you're like, oh, I'm hungry, you're like, oh, no, this might be a craving. And that's still, like, something that's hard for me, where I'm trying to be like, am I hungry or am I just craving something?

[A]

Well, especially with adhd, it's. Yes. You know, some people would refer to it as like, a dopamine addiction.

[B]

Well, that's.

[A]

And if you just. And if you can get just a hit of dope, mean, from grabbing a tortilla out of the fridge and jamming it.

[B]

When I was. When I. When I had, like, my.

[C]

My.

[B]

When I was, like, first diagnosed with, like, major adhd. Like, like, like where they're like, oh, no, you're crazy.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And, like, you need to take medicine or you're going to. They'll lock you up. Like the. When that. When I first learned that I dropped, like, 10 pounds right away. Because one of the things they start telling you is, like, one of the symptoms of that is, like, you're not paying attention to what you're eating, and you're just eating. You're like. You literally walk in the house and you're like, I don't feel happy.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And you'll walk over to something, you'll grab it, you'll eat it not. And you'll be like, I feel a little better. You know what I mean? And, like. And it's just this. The. The. The consequence of the physical is not even connecting well in.

[C]

In. It's so funny because in the odd way, Adderall helps because it just is an appetite suppressant. But. And some people are like, oh, man. Like, I. The Adderall, you just forget to eat. I'm like, that's what timers are for, dog.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Because for me, I'm like, the Adderall is going to help me get the body I need.

[A]

Because.

[C]

Because it.

[A]

Because it's getting you the mind you need for survival. And then hopefully, like, side effect. Exactly.

[B]

I'm on Vyvanse. Have you.

[C]

Have you vans, But Vyvans doesn't get me focused enough. Like my vans, like Adderall seems to be the only thing that gives me the Laker laser focus.

[B]

I still, I still will use Adderall on a day. Like if I get to set and there's like. And you get like 4am they give you the size and it's like 18 pages.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I will still sometimes be like one second and like I need an Adderall for today. Or like. But most of the time I find that the vimance that I'm on does less of the negative of what Adderall was doing and more of the positive.

[C]

Ooh.

[B]

Which is nice. But I'm on a higher, a high dose.

[C]

I'm on like 40 milligrams.

[B]

That's what I'm on.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

I'm on 40 of Vyvanse.

[C]

I'm 40 of Adderall. And that's why I try to like, because sometimes. Because I also am someone who loves coffee. Like I drank so much coffee I got gerd and then. Yeah. So I had to like stop. And then like a couple baristas like, oh yeah. That's kind of of like a rite of passage for. So if you chill off, you'll be able to.

[B]

Everyone in Italy is constantly like, yeah.

[C]

Just like, oh man.

[A]

Yeah. Marinara sauce and espresso burn your little like.

[B]

That's why everyone is like, in Italy is like, whatever.

[C]

But also extended release is so funny cuz that's the one I'm on. Because like it's all in you the whole day. And you think that sometimes you're like, okay, well it's going to cut off. But sometimes it's still in you. Yeah. Because one time, time I had heavy tremors because I took a gas station dick pill after I was on Aderall and I thought that honey pack. Rhino. Rhino. That's been like. It's so funny because I like told a couple homies and they're like, you're. What are you doing that for? I'm like, what do you mean? I'm trying to. I'm trying to like all night. Yeah.

[A]

Trying to see what I can do. What's possible with ped.

[C]

It's a limitless pill for your dick.

[A]

Why wouldn't I do that?

[B]

And they're like, no, no, no, they're are real ones for that. Yeah.

[C]

You're like, yeah, but like I like the.

[B]

I want to see the streets.

[C]

But I was like, it's so funny cuz I did like the red. Because the reason is I got a homeboy Chris, who Is funny. He's, like this younger New York comic and very creative. And, like, I just started doing with him because I'm like, oh, yeah, dog. Like, you. You like, I want vampire. Yeah. I want to. I want to, like, help you out, steal your skill, get your.

[B]

You bigger.

[C]

But, you know, it's like, I feel like sometimes, like, in comedy, when you're, like, young and hungry and your only access is, like, your peers, but you don't feel connected in any one community, you can kind of feel lost. And for me, I felt like I really locked in when, like, I had certain people who were like, hey, this is what you should be doing, or, hey, this is. And so, like, who were those people for you? Oh, man. I think, like, the early, early, early. Earliest one was Echo Kellum was. Because I. So that's a good. When I was working that desk job that I was sweating at profusely.

[B]

See, I'm there. Sweating.

[C]

So I started, you know, because I. I've been doing improv since high school, and then I started doing improv, like, locally at Long Beach. I was doing the Long Beach Playhouse, and then I was doing these shows at. It was called Stages Theaters, turned into Spectacles Improv Engine. And then I was on a team called Cherry Spitz. And I would. I was just doing it, but I was like, okay, but, like, how do I level up, right? And I was feeling like I was the funniest guy there. Big Fish in Small Pond, doing shows in Fullerton. The. That, like. Like, it was. Like it wasn't there. And then Matt Apodaka told me to listen to the Donald Glover WTF episode. And he was like, yeah. He was like, there's not that many black people in improv. And he, like, says a couple names. And even though I was nowhere near it, I was, like, half expecting to be like. And I hear this guy in Orange county kind of going.

[A]

And if. If he w. If I think you're saying that correctly, you're like, thank you. Childish.

[B]

But that's the delusion of grandeur that we all have.

[A]

You almost arguably needed.

[C]

I was going to say, you kind of.

[B]

You need it.

[A]

You need.

[B]

Need to have that feeling. Like, I remember when I first saw my, like, first improv show at ucb, I had that vibration that I was like, I'm gonna walk on stage. Yeah. And, like, I.

[A]

And they're gonna like.

[B]

And they're. No, it's like, they need me. They need me out there, like. Cause I know what to do. I see what to do. But then you you, you come back to yourself and you're like, I'm a viewer in an audience. But if you don't have that feeling, I don't think you.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

But what I will say is, like, I think that is the, the secret, you know, other piece of that, right. Is you had that feeling, but you're like, but that's like, I'm not gonna do it.

[A]

I have respect going to. And I'm enjoying them as an audience.

[C]

So, yeah, don't, don't think you could just walk. If you think you could walk on stage and you've done that, stay out.

[B]

No, no, no, of course, of course. But I think that that instinct is what I, I like, recognized it early on as. Like, that's a delusion. But the fact that I'm so del. Delusional about this means that I must be obsessed.

[C]

Exactly that. And like, it's this element to where you can see yourself up there, right?

[A]

Completely.

[C]

And I think that's what stops a lot of people from doing so many things. Like, I think one of the main things people talk to me about the gym where it's like, oh, I can't go to the gym. Everyone's going to be looking at you. I was like, dog, I, I'm gonna tell you, like, because I think what happens is you get these, like, fringe fuck heads who do these videos where they're like videotaping like a fat person on a treadmill and they're like. And, and I love it though, because there usually is the comments like, dog, he's in the gym. Why are you doing this? Also, also, like, out of here. Like, this is like, like, what are you trying to do? Like, I think the true gym community is a like, very, like, warm, like, open space. Like, people are so sticky, bro.

[A]

The biggest meatheads are pumped that you're working out. They don't care what your weight is.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

They don't care what you're putting on the bar.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They, if they are helping you at all, it's to protect you. Yeah, it's to protect your form. To protect you. And people talk about mansplaining, that shit. The people who do that in the gym are the worst and they are the outlier. Yeah. The gym is a very supportive community.

[C]

And it's. And it's hard too, right? Because I think what can be hard is, like, it can go either way because both will feel like mansplain. But sometimes this meathead who's talking to you do does know what they're talking about.

[A]

You wouldn't call a coach mansplaining you how to do the plays.

[B]

So fucking funny. But I get like Phil Jackson, like Scotty. Yeah. And he's like, coach, you mansplain that to me one more time.

[D]

You know you need fiber for a healthy gut, but do you actually know how to get it? Quaker's been serving up fiber since 1877 with over 100 great tasting, good source of fiber options to choose from. Whether you like old fashioned oats, instant oatmeal granola or oatmeal meal squares, Quaker makes it delicious.

[A]

Mmm. So good.

[D]

Get your fiber with Quaker. Shop Quaker's good source of fiber products at a store near you Avoiding your

[F]

unfinished home projects because you're not sure where to start. Thumbtack knows homes so you don't have to don't know the difference between matte paint finish and satin or what that clunking sound from your dryer is. With Thumbtack, you don't have to be a home pro, you just have to hire one. You can hire top rated pros, see price estimates and read reviews all on the app download today.

[G]

What if I told you that tossing and turning all night and waking up sore could be the result of sleeping on the wrong pillow sounds too good to be true? Hear me out Coop. Sleepgoods pillows are designed for every type of sleeper, side, back, stomach and everything in between. They adjust to how you sleep, keeping you supported and comfortable all night. And right now, customers get 20% off size. From new parents navigating sleep schedules to wellness minded sleepers focused on recovery to grandparents exploring new hobbies, Coop helps everyone sleep better and wake up actually feeling refreshed. There's a lot waiting for you tomorrow. Let Coop help you show up feeling rejuvenated and ready to go. Get 20% off your first order and try Coop risk free with a 100 night sleep better guarantee at coopsleepgoods.com comedy that c o o p sleepgoods.com/comedy.

[B]

I think that's a good lesson for all men around women of doing anything. Because it's not just at the gym. I feel like women's defenses are up. It's like because men are so horrible, it's like pumping gas or I feel

[A]

like sometimes when I'm walking around my neighborhood and like I interact with a dog and woman's walking the dog, I want to turn to her and go like I'm sorry, I'm truly only here for the dog. I swear to God, it's like I

[B]

really am Just I am actually think your dog is so cute.

[A]

This is not an entree. I'm moving on.

[C]

Don't worry. Yeah, well, it's so funny because I do feel like even when, like, if I'm, like, flirting in DMs or I'm, like, talking and all this stuff, like, a lot of times, like, women will be like, okay, like, it's fine. I was like, well, I'm just trying to just you be so sure, like, that you're into it. Because I know the.

[A]

Because, like, I straight up say shit like, like, I'm flirting with you now. I hope you're ready.

[B]

Flirting's about to begin.

[C]

3, 2, 1.

[A]

You up?

[B]

You up?

[C]

Well, no, it was funny because I. It was like. It was someone who I was, like, flirting with and I like. They asked what my deal is, and I talked about being, like, polyamorous with my fiance, and I always, like. And I just so happened with that person was, like, hyped because, like, I said, it was like kind of like a thirst follow. Like, they were funny, but I was like, it was a thirst follow.

[B]

That's everyone I follow.

[C]

And then they, like, hit me up, started flirting, and I sent it to Em and I was like, yo, I think this person's flirting with me. And so she laughed. She was like, I like that you said. I think I was like, oh, I don't assume anything.

[A]

I don't assume.

[C]

I will not. Because if I'm wrong, I'm a think about it for the rest of my life.

[A]

I'd rather be wrong in the other direction and have a missed opportunity than overstep and flirt with someone who's not involved. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Well, because also, like, I'm just so sure, like, if you're hot online and you're like, oh, this person. Person's like, interesting, funny, I might want to work with them. You're probably dealing with someone just, like, taking that and, and, and running every time. Like, yeah, so. So I just try. I'm like, hey, I'll. I'll let you out. The ball's in your court. And then if you're in, we're off

[A]

to go to tie in. Talking about this improv stuff and talking about the gym, the shit you were talking about earlier. I think there's an. An issue in society where people are afraid to be bad at something.

[C]

Oh, yeah?

[A]

Yeah. And. But you have to have, I think one of my superpowers in life and why I'm able to do so much and enjoy life so much is I'm Okay. Being really bad at something.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And so, like, I can learn. I can show up. I have. I don't have that. I don't have that embarrassment button of, like, I need to be good at this on day one. So, like, showing up to do improv when I don't know what I'm doing, showing up to the gym when I'm overweight, showing up trying martial arts, learning Spanish, like, eating pussy.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, that I've always been.

[C]

Well, like, it's interesting, right? Because I think it's even beyond the embarrassment. It's like a type of frustration that comes because, like, you know, two years ago, I started playing hockey for the first time, and this adult, like, did you skate before? I knew how to ice skate, kind of, but I didn't. I wasn't playing hockey.

[B]

Ice skating is different.

[C]

Oh, yeah, exactly. I learned very quickly. But I remember I would just get up and, like. Because I. One of my best friends, you know, he plays in a league, but he used to play for, you know, usc, and he's been in this, like, beer league. And I was like, man, I want to get out there. And, you know, you're watching him and you're like, okay, I think I can handle this. And then you actually do it, and you're. And you're so bad at it because, like, it's. Hockey is such a hard sport because you're skating. You have to do the stick handling. You have to be able to, like, stop. You have to be able to take,

[A]

like, it's like, four sports at once. Yeah. Like, ice skating is its own sport. And then you're like, now put on all this gear and play another sport. On top of that, I had to

[B]

do 10 weeks of training of hockey for Sonic 3 for one. One scene. And I. When you watch that scene, I still am like. Because I can't. Holding the stick. Taking a slap.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Shooting a slap shot on skates is so hard.

[C]

Oh, yeah. Because you. Because you're on skates, you're basically shifting your weight and going basically down to a knee to get that slap shot.

[B]

And. And then at the same time, keeping a break. Yes. So that you don't slide. Slide. It's one of the hardest core activities ever. And I was. I. And I'm a decent athlete. I could not do it, by the

[A]

way, put ice hockey on the list of things that, if he does that keeps him at. Keep the audience absolutely guessing what this motherfucker's up to on any given day. Trammery, latex kilts, Magic the Gathering. D. Top Chef.

[B]

Improv.

[A]

Improv. Weightlifting. There's, like, so much.

[B]

You are a renaissance man.

[C]

Grouping of things go all together, like D and D. Polyamory. Latex.

[A]

Gathering. Yeah.

[B]

Anime. Anime.

[C]

But, like. Yeah, Like, I. I just saw. Like, it seemed fun. I got. So I really got into hockey because I would. When I snowboard, I would wear, like, you know, a king's jersey. But I was like, I really. I'm not, like, watching that closely. I'm gonna just get the hall of Famer jerseys and just put a. Like, put it over a hoodie.

[B]

Gretzky or robot.

[C]

I went with Robital and Marcel Dion.

[B]

I like that those are cooler because I only know those from NHL 96, which is like, the Kings are the best team.

[A]

We were hanging out the other day, and he says, oh, hell yeah, we got another N word. And I was like, what are you referring to? He's like, the King signed another player. I was like. I was like. I needed context immediately.

[C]

I am. I, like. I am. I like. Like, I love hockey. I love my Kings, but hockey niggas are number one for me. Like, I, like, I'm.

[A]

You don't hear hns a lot. Yeah, yeah.

[C]

You don't hear hn. So I'm holding down. It's like, yeah. But it was like, I realized when I was wearing the jerseys, like, it'd be like, a lot of old white dudes being like, oh, you got that. That Dion jersey. And I realized they were, like, quizzing me. Like, so I was like, okay, great. I'm gonna make this a nerdy hyper focus.

[B]

I love that.

[C]

And I, like, locked in. And so, like, now. And it's great because I get to make it about race, because. So the theater team for the LA Kings is the Ontario Reign, which had Devontae Smith, Pelley, Quentin Byfield, and Akil Thomas on one line, which was the first all black line since the 40s. And so, like, they do this thing and I'm. And they'll ask me, and so we're talking about game stuff. And I was like, yeah. And you know what I really love about the Kings is, you know, we had the first all black line since the 40s. You know, Devontae Smith, you know, Keel Thomas, Quentin Byfield. And they're like, oh. I was like, yeah, I made about race now. Let's go.

[A]

Who's your favorite player?

[C]

Who's your favorite? Maybe a black player.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. But, you know, it's. It's like, so it's just an electric sport. It's fun to follow, I think. And I. Yeah, I think.

[A]

And if you like seeing your progress with the strong lifts, like seeing your progress going from like a. Like a baby deer on new legs

[C]

power skating down, it's like, why.

[B]

It's. It's a good workout.

[A]

You guys win, right? Did you win?

[C]

So. So we're in two league. We were in Pasadena and Burbank, and we won the cup in both of those leagues the last season.

[B]

And hockey dudes party.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

They like to get fucked up.

[C]

Yeah. It's like you. The reason it's called beer league is because after every game, you know, we hand out beers and drink them. So it's great. And when we won the championship, I tried to do the skate shotgun where you like, blast it. And I just blasted all my beer into someone's hockey bag.

[A]

Dude. I got served this video of some female hockey player taking her skates, smashing it.

[C]

That's who I based it off.

[A]

And I like, re. I reposted it. I was like, this is so badass. She reached out in the dm. She's like, if you're ever in New Jersey, let's shotgun. I'm like, fuck, yeah.

[B]

I'm in New Jersey all the time.

[C]

The PWHL professional Women's Hockey league is so electric. Like, they're doing shit that hasn't been done before. And, like, I really like that we're starting to see the hockey community, like, super supportive because I feel bad for the WNBA because, like, for some stupid, fucked up reason, they immediately were the butt of the jokes. And then you had like this current era now where now it's like, no, with Aja Wilson and, you know, and all that, like, people like, aren't talking shit anymore. But I really love, like, seeing women's sports because especially, like with the show, because of the pay disparity. Like, some of these are like scientists who are like, they're in the lab all day and then they come.

[B]

It has roller derby energy. Yeah. Know of like, we. We also own bakeries.

[C]

Yes, exactly. And. But. But they're all like, it's like super dope. But also it's like, I'll take this

[A]

opportunity to shout out the women's USA Women's rugby team, which is my. My female sport of pass.

[C]

My friend Siri Doll loves, like, it loves rugby.

[A]

Like, I think weirdly, I know your friend. Not and not through you, but through my appreciation of the Internet.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Oh, the Internet Specific websites.

[C]

But yeah, she's. Because she used to play rugby yeah. And so. Well, it's so funny. And I. And I've told.

[B]

Calm down, dude. You're like a cartoon cat right now.

[A]

Hit myself in the head, dude.

[B]

You're not even wearing suspenders. What are you pulling at?

[C]

Well, that's. That's actually like, I've told her this too, where I was like, you know, like, in her, like, first early scenes, I was locked in. I was like, oh, great. Yeah. Like. And then I kind of like, you know, fell out because I was watching more like, bespoke porn. I just left the studio system, started going to my farm to table only fans. A 240, a 24, a 249. I had a friend who was, like, mentioning Siri as, like, one of her favorite, like, actresses. And I was like, oh, okay. Yeah, no, she's great. She's like. And she power lifts. I said, what? And I immediately, like, locked in, like, fuck. Followed her. And then we, like, started chatting and then we just became friends. And. Yeah, it's funny to see how much of jock she is. She came to see me play hockey and I just remember seeing these hockey dudes feel like, what the is going on?

[A]

Who's that? Yoked smoke show.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Kick their ass.

[C]

But, yeah, but she just went. I guess they had worlds or something recently.

[A]

Yeah, in New Jersey this weekend. Yeah.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

That's where she is right now.

[A]

Sevens tournament. The International Sevens tournament.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And my girl Ilona Mar, is not playing in the Sevens. She's an ex Olympiad now. But the.

[C]

Oh, so once you're an Olympiad, you can.

[A]

You can still. You can still go back and do it. But I think she's progressed past, like, she's like, you know, giving opportunities to other players. She's.

[B]

I want to become. She's also become a bit of like an American ambassador. Ambassador to a.

[A]

She's like, do you know she played for the same club as I did, the Village Lions. She just never overlapped.

[C]

I'm a little older than her.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I also want to shout out rugby because it's the one of the only sports where no rules or anything changes measurements of the field, anything between men and women's. Yeah, nothing. It's the exact same sport. Same size ball, same size. Nothing is changed for them.

[C]

One thing I love about the BWHL is their changes, I think, are, like, better because they have, like, what's called a jailbreak goal, where if you do. If you're on the penalty, so you just do a shotgun goal and on

[B]

the penalty is like, once a month. When? Is that what you mean?

[A]

Yeah, like, that's called red line.

[B]

That's when you're in the bread box. Yeah.

[C]

But when they're in the penalty box, if you do a shorthanded goal, you jailbreak the player so you can get your player out by scoring a goal.

[B]

That should be put in the NHL.

[C]

It's like, it's so dope.

[B]

It would. It would way more kill penalty time because people would be like, well, we have to score.

[C]

But exactly. Like, it adds another thing where instead of you're doing like the penalty kill, where you're kind of just dumping it in a way, it kind of puts some effort into like. No, we can killing clock. Exactly.

[A]

Oh, that's cool.

[C]

Yeah, it's so dope.

[A]

And it must be awesome to be on the. In the penalty box when your person scores a goal.

[C]

Oh, man. So, and so I used to be a New York Sirens fan because we didn't have a west coast team that wasn't Canadian. And then now there's the Seattle Torrent. And so now I'm repping them now. So I'm holding it down. What's up, Torrent? We're gonna do it.

[A]

Shout out to Seattle Sirens. Yeah, I. Sirens.

[C]

Well, that's. That's the big thing is the. The big angry discussion right now is people are like, it should be the Seattle sirens because like, the New York sirens is like, it's kind of sounds

[A]

like police or ambulance.

[B]

Or is the connotation that something bad is happening in New York.

[A]

Yeah, well, because if you're a seafaring town like Seattle, the sirens is someone who makes you crash your boat into the rocks.

[C]

Exactly. But yeah, the. At the. The. As an ex Sirens fan at the games, you yell, wee woo. Wee woo.

[A]

Okay, I like that. I'm back here. European ambulance sound.

[C]

But it was great because Carpi Carpenter was. Went to the Torrent. Used to play for the Sirens. Was one of my favorite players there, so I got to travel with her. So I'm like, yeah, we. We both made the trade.

[A]

We're doing it.

[C]

But I really do want LA to have a team so we can have the LA Queens. I will not stand for anything less.

[A]

That would be. So I would be a. What are they called? Puck or whatever.

[B]

I'll be a chuckle pucker slogan Yaz Queen.

[C]

Well, that's the thing. That's what makes me feel like the most washed is because you'll see someone hot and you're like, oh, great. And they're like 23. You're like oh yeah, yeah, I'm old as.

[A]

Yeah, I'm older than the coach.

[B]

So are you on the road a lot now? Ify what's your.

[A]

What's.

[C]

Oh yeah, I'm about to go on tour. So I'm like on the road and so I love, love like doing. Because I'm sure you're gonna ask like the fitness plan.

[B]

I was gonna ask you like a hotel gym.

[C]

Some, some are ass. I will say whenever you're doing sketch fest, the kabuki has a really good one. And you know who I saw there? Our dear friend Eugene Cordero.

[A]

He's not gonna miss one.

[C]

He's like, of course I see you here. Like of course I see you here, dog. Yeah, we're just in here. But I typically like to just do a day pass. I, I really like because you know like all gyms aren't created equal.

[A]

Right.

[C]

You have your, you know, your Planet Fitnesses, which I think the bottom of the barrel because they're anti buff dudes. Yeah. Then you have like your 24 LA Fitnesses which are like okay, but they are hit and miss. Then you have like the golds, which there aren't any golds in California anymore. They got bought.

[A]

Heartbreaking.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

The only keeping Venice. Yes.

[C]

Which if they, which they have to by the way.

[A]

Field trip dog. You gotta go.

[C]

Oh, it's so fun. Have you been there?

[A]

No.

[C]

Every time I've been there there, I've seen Schwarzenegger, I've seen Kai Green.

[A]

What?

[C]

Yeah, like the, the goats come there like daily and Pumping Iron is playing on the screen the whole time.

[A]

If you're not familiar with Kai Green, do yourself a favor and look up Kai Green posing routines.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

He brought such. I know way too much about bodybuilding, but he brought such insane. By the way, this guy is an odd looking guy. He's like a bald dude with like a black, a braid that sticks out the back of his head. Like he's a barbarian warrior. And he, he does like themed pose routines where he plays like a robot and moves like a robot and shit. And he looks, he's yolked.

[C]

They used to call him Alien leg. Yes, yes. Oh yeah, I was, don't worry, I was reading those Max too. I was like, I was like deep in it. But I, if, if a place I'm at has like what I always call like a meathead gym, usually like a cut above, like the. Because they can range. It can be like just a local gym that kind of leans more into the branding or it can Be like barbell brigade in la. Think it started. It was started by Bart Kwan, but the ownership just switched and it's just like all power man stuff. They have those, like, stone spheres. They have the log bars and like, gyms like that where I'm like, it's a playground and I can just go and have fun. I'll do it. And if there are none of those around, I'll do a la Fitness or 24 Hour Fitness.

[B]

Are those the gyms that have, like, big tires that you can, like, throw over and stuff?

[C]

Yeah, they have sleds. And now I see I'll be on.

[A]

I'll be on their Google site, like, thumbing through the images. Do I see at least two racks? Yeah, two power racks. I'm like, okay, I could squad here. I'll go, yeah.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

You.

[C]

I. I left a. A terrible gym review on Yelp for a Gold's gym once because they only had, I think, like, like one or two squat racks. And I was furious. I think I'd still. I. I updated it because they did add more stuff after. And I was like, I wonder if it was because of me.

[A]

I wonder if you're be the change you want to see in the world.

[C]

It was.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And it was one of those way

[B]

to advocate for yourself.

[C]

It was one of those things, right, where you're like. When you're like, well, I'm doing all this right in any way, I might as well have fun with it. So you just do you OD about it. But I was furious. I was so mad because I left because I couldn't lift, because it was this couple who was just doing, like, so many workouts at that one. And I. That's why, like, I'm very much like, like, okay, I get in, I get out. I don't spend too much time here.

[B]

Right. Did you have you in Austin this weekend? Have you hit.

[C]

No, I decided to take a break only because. So I used to. When I was really on it and regimented. I remember that, like, after about eight weeks, you take a week off just to let, like, your body not get deload. And then you. Then you get back to it. And I haven't done that in a while. And, like, I'm getting, like, really solid. Like, I'm making good progress. I'm like, ooh, this will probably be great because take a rest.

[A]

Coincide while you're busy as that makes sense.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You have a full. How many screening. How many movies are you in? In. In at this festival?

[C]

I'm at One. I have one film grind that me and John are in. I went to the premiere on Thursday. I'm gonna be at the Q and A tonight. Yeah. So we're gonna do it, but I'm trying to see if I can get some friends to see it. It's. It's really good. Like, it's great.

[A]

It's a horror movie. A horror anthology movie about. About the gig economy. It's like so topical. Cool.

[B]

It's like the substance for.

[A]

Yeah, yours is. Which is your segment. Are you in the coffee shop?

[C]

Mine. Mine is a coffee shop that's trying to unionize.

[A]

Yeah. Mine is the content moderators for like a social media app who have to watch fucked up videos and reject them. And it's like, really? And one guy spirals from seeing too much fucked up shit. It's really fun. Yeah.

[C]

And then. And the one before it is a delivery driver with Vinnie Thomas.

[A]

Oh, hell yeah. Huebel. And yours.

[C]

Huebel is in ours, but it's like from where he is in your. Okay. Connected.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And it all like, that's what I really like too is like the anthology itself just wraps into each other in a really good way. It feels like a very real world. And there's like a clear, like big scary thing.

[B]

I hope it gets bought.

[C]

Yes, me too. Yeah, I would love that. I need to flex.

[A]

Ify. Where can people find you? Thank you so. By the way, thank you so much for coming to Austin. Oh, read your review.

[C]

Oh, you want me to.

[A]

Oh, my God, it's 12.

[B]

Dude, that is. That is so long.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. All right, I'm gonna. I'm gonna give you a taste, but we.

[C]

We'll.

[A]

We'll also post this.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

First off and foremost, I want to say that the staff is amazing and many of my complaints are out of their control. But simple fixes that their higher ups should have considered would prevent always things that are outside of their always the gentleman. Gold gym is a strong brand. One of the main reasons I joined was the simple fact that Golds is for people serious about their fitness and their facilities reflect as much. I normally lifted the Golds on coal and occasionally the Mecca in Venice, which made my trip to this gym for the very first time so. Very first time time very surprising. It's outfitted like your local 24 hour L A or even Planet Fitness. I had to go off the gym makeup memory. I'd say it's 30% cardio, 20% machines, 10% free weights, and the rest is a combination of huge underlying underutilized. Boxing area fitted with a ring, heavy bags, a swimming pool, jacuzzi and open space for stretching and ball work. 100% of my core workout is used as free weights. Strong lifts give it a shot, so this presents a huge problem. However, like I said before, it's filled with staff that is genuine passion for fitness and the type of energy I enjoy being around. And when I get my swole on. This gym is closer to me than Hollywood's Golds. But because of what I just laid out, I made the trip. Taking a month off strong lifts to work on isolation workouts to boost my overall gains, I decided to experiment with working out here for a month. The experiment was amazing. I cut down so much of the time it takes lift because I cut out the commute to Hollywood. Since I wasn't solely dependent on freeways, the eclectic mix of equipment at the gym didn't bug me. I was happy and enjoyed my new life as a guy who doesn't need three hours to go to the gym. Life is good. But the month came to an end and I had to go back to strong lifts. I was about to bust out 2/3 of my workout, so I stopped by a couple who should now be known as relationship goals. The squat rack Hard. But the disparate difference in weight between the two and the combined rest times them had me waiting for 15 minutes and they were still going. I look only to be noticed by another sad soul yearning to bust those quads and hams wide open. And he's obviously been waiting longer than me, which means he got first dibs. I had to do it. I had to quit this lift so I can get home to my daughter and wife. This problem could have been easily avoided by having more than one squat rack. I mean the gold standard pun intended as three. So one squat rack is absurd. Unfortunately, this means that it has to be my last foray into the closer than most Downtown's goals. If I gotta lose my gains, you gotta lose me. I wanna emphasize one more time that the staff is amazing. They only deserve raises. But whoever planned out a gym with one squat rack deserves a drink that Green Hornet when somebody accidentally pours in too much cayenne powder. Also, shout out to Tony W. Complained about three Toyotes when there's only one squat rack. Just take your dumps at home, bro.

[C]

One of my favorite things to do in the Yelp review is make fun of someone else reviewing that. I think that has a dumb review.

[B]

You need to write a book with a collection of your Yelp review Yeah.

[A]

Outside of Jim Yelps, where can people find. I know you got funniest handful of going on.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. If you waddy way on social media ifycomedy.com if you want to see all my tour dates, we're adding some that aren't even up there. So just keep checking ifycomedy.com on Blue sky if you want to see me complain about politics and then. Yeah. And yeah. Come see me do a show. Oh, listen to our relationship pod with Emmy and Iffy.

[A]

Check. Check that out.

[C]

It'll be good. Yeah. We talk about relationship shop and that's where you can hear more about our polyamory.

[A]

Yeah, you can hear a lot more. I learned a lot.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

I'm in the kink community these days.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a whole new John.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Doesn't go by Gabriel's anymore.

[A]

Call me Jonathan. When I'm doing bdsm, I'm Jonathan.

[C]

Well, quick thing before we get out. Not to make it longer. No, there is like a thing like, you know, typically when you go to like, like either like a kink party or a play party, usually people will use like a moniker instead of their real name. And one time I was bondage ball. I'll never forget this. I'm coming down. My ex girlfriend.

[B]

Do you mind if I ask what bondage ball is?

[A]

It's the Z100 thing.

[B]

Does that happen every year in December at the Garden.

[C]

It is a yearly event and like, I would describe it as like a kink party. Like there's like, in the VIP area, there are some like, like St. Andrews Cross and like a place you can like a bench that you can do vlogging. But there's like no, like, you know, sex acts or anything. It's just kind of. You dress up in your kinkwear, they're playing like dope music. There's a of bunch. Bunch of like, stuff for sale. And then there's also like different dungeons, kind of like giving brochures and doing like a Rent a Dom type thing. So there's like, it's like a real cool, like, community building.

[A]

This is a great world where you ask one question, then you have 12 more to answer.

[B]

I think Rent a. That's talking to Ify.

[A]

Yeah, true.

[C]

But so I'm coming down. I like, have my, like, you know, girlfriend at the time on a leash. And this guy goes, iffy. What do you wear? And I was like, yeah, yeah, man. He was like, man, I love your stuff. It's all good. I'm like, cool. Yeah. What's your name? He goes, shakespeare. I'm like, you can't use my government name.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

When I ask your name, you're giving me your moniker.

[A]

No.

[C]

Yell your government name out to Shakespeare. That's pretty badass. And I was like, that is a banger name.

[A]

But, Daryl, I'll see you around.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

If you're the best.

[C]

Thanks for coming. Thanks for having me.

[B]

Dude, you're the funniest. They can't thank you.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

This has been so fun. Last night, I got drunk with Mitch. Tonight I'm doing a Q and A with if he. All my friend hanging out with you. All my friends who I see everywhere. Now I'm just hanging out with them in Texas.

[B]

I think that's what Austin is.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Some sort of weird Austin is like when you. When you talking to someone who's in, like, a virtual reality where it's like you talk to someone who's on one of those screens.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And you're like, wait a minute. Is that you or is that, like some projection? Yeah, Yeah.

[A]

I feel in Austin, AI Gabri is here.

[B]

Yeah. Like, I'm here, but it's not all of me.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. This is. There's only part of me. My only suggestion, if y' all haven't had. There's like, this Egyptian barbecue place where it's like Egyptian spices made Texas barbecue style out of this world. Had like, a smoked lamb shoulder. Oh, my goodness.

[A]

Yeah, I got time before Ascat. You got time for your flight?

[B]

Yeah, I think I'd love to lamb shoulder before my flight.

[A]

That was a great chat. I'm. I'm hyped. I kind of want to go hit my hotel gym right now. Or Egyptian barbecue.

[B]

Yeah. I think both of those are weighing right now. Egyptian barbecue is way winning.

[A]

Yeah. But that being said, let's wrap up here so we can have a weed smoke break.

[B]

Yeah, I'm dying to get high. Yeah.

[A]

I might have to at this lovely studio that let us rent here.

[B]

Do you think that they'd be cool if you were and I was smoking next you and handing it to you, bro?

[A]

The most opulent thing. One of my favorite things to do is and smoke and smoke at the same time. When I'm super hungover, I'll bring a fucking coffee, a joint into the. Into my bathroom, crack the window, and just hot box it in 11 ways.

[B]

There have been times when I've, like, had, like, flu or Covid where I'm, like, crying from pain, diarrhea. Where I'll be like, yeah, yeah.

[A]

And then the coughing helps you keep moving stuff. And then you get why in prison they make you squat and cough. Because the second you're on the toilet and cough, you're like, I had no control of what just came out and

[B]

falls out of your ass.

[A]

Fucking kilo of fucking ketamine.

[B]

The shiv falls out of your ass.

[A]

The sharpened up toothbrush. Fuck. You have been listening to Staying Alive with John Gabris and Adam Pally. A Smartless media production in association with SiriusXM.

[B]

Produced by Devin Tory Bryant and Anne Harris. Engineered and edited by Devin Tory Bryant, who also wrote the music.

[A]

Associate producer and video producer is Matty McCann. Social media producer Tommy Galgano.

[B]

Assistant engineer Kyle McGraw. Special thanks to Jared O' Connell at Sirius XM, executive producers are John Gabris. Ooh me.

[A]

Adam Pally. Ooh you. Will Arnett, Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, Richard Richard Corson and Bernie Kaminsky. Do us a favor. Just rate and review the podcast. It actually helps.

[B]

Just so everyone knows, we do not have a discord.

[A]

Don't reach out to us.

[B]

See us on the street. Walk the other way or you'll catch hands. You want a cookie, Anne? And the producer is like, get those cookies out of the shot and into my lap.

[A]

I'll just go put these in my car. If you guys need them, let me know. I'll be in the car eating them. I'll be listening. Smart less medium.

[D]

You know you need fiber for a healthy gut, but do you actually need how to get it? Quaker's been serving UP fiber since 1877 with over 100 great tasting, good source of fiber options to choose from. Whether you like old fashioned oats, instant oatmeal granola or oatmeal squares, Quaker makes it delicious.

[A]

Mmm. So good.

[D]

Get your fiber with Quaker. Shop Quaker's good source of fiber products at a store near you.