Coco Chanel That Shit (w/ Chef Evan Funke)

Summary

Staying Alive with Jon Gabrus & Adam Pally

Episode: Coco Chanel That Shit (w/ Chef Evan Funke)
Date: July 23, 2026
Podcast by: SmartLess Media

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Episode Overview

Comedians Jon Gabrus and Adam Pally welcome celebrated LA chef Evan Funke for a candid and lively discussion about the intersection of food, health, work, and artistry. The trio explores what it means to stay “alive” while immersed in food culture and nightlife, dig deep on kitchen dynamics, personal discipline, simplicity in cooking, and what’s lost and gained in the relentless pursuit of perfection—whether in comedy, cooking, or life.

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Main Discussion Points & Insights

Evan Funke’s Roots & Kitchen Life

• California Heritage:
  Funke shares he’s a “completely scorched California boy,” with family roots going back pre-Gold Rush (00:13).

• Wearing Out Clothes:
  Discusses how the physicality of restaurant work leads him to wear out clothes and shoes rapidly (03:33).
  "I blow through shoes in six months...I'm a big-bodied Benz.” (03:53, Evan Funke)

• Chef’s Physical Toll:
  Funke notes the daily aches and mobility challenges from years on his feet in kitchens (12:32).

The Evolving Culture of Kitchens

• From Chaos to Calm:
  Funke reflects on coming up in kitchens in the 1990s and early 2000s:
  “Abuse. Mental, physical, emotional…that was the normal.” (08:53, Funke)
  He states that the “Bear” (TV show) distills this intensity for TV but real kitchens are a marathon, not a sprint (09:20).

• Leadership Philosophy:
  Modern leadership is about connection, mentorship, and filling in employees' gaps:
  "You have to be a mentor, a guide, a shepherd, a psychologist...otherwise they're not going to fucking follow you." (11:25, Funke)

  Funke emphasizes he works “for” his staff, not the other way around.
  “Never put myself in the position where I take from them, because that is the wrong position to be in.” (12:10, Funke)

Food, Restraint, and Simplicity

• Simplicity as Art:
  Funke discusses the power of restraint in Italian cooking:
  “The simplicity belies the technique…all you need to do is try desperately not to fuck it up by exercising restraint.” (31:33, Funke)

  He invokes Coco Chanel:
  “I'm going to Coco Chanel that shit, right? Look at yourself in the mirror on the way out the door and take off one item.” (32:11, Funke)

• Tradition and Innovation:
  Funke is a passionate student of pasta and Italian culinary heritage; talks about learning from Italian women who keep centuries-old traditions alive (27:04).

The Chef’s Dilemma

• Eating vs. Cooking:
  On the challenge of working around food:
  “You spend nine hours cooking a turkey. Turkey is the last fucking thing that you want to eat at the end of the day.” (21:43, Funke)

  Funke purposely avoids learning to cook certain foods (e.g. Korean, Vietnamese, sushi) so he can still enjoy them as a guest (23:25).

• Living in the Moment vs. Social Media:
  Funke struggles with the expectation for chefs to be good on camera and on social media (39:40):
  “I'm a one-take pony...If you ask me to do that again with more feeling, I'm saying no, I can't…I can't remember what the fuck I said.” (38:24, Funke)
  He doesn’t watch his own TV appearances:
  “I don't want to watch it again. I gave it all onto the camera.” (40:23, Funke)

Subjectivity & Feedback

• Food and Art as Subjective:
  Funke draws parallels between cooking and other arts:
  “Cooking is just like any other art form...it's really subjective.” (44:51, Funke)

• Value of Studying Victories and Failures:
  “A lot of successes are not repeated because the success wasn't studied as much as the failure. When you fail, you're like, how did this happen?... When you win, you're like, fuck, yeah, what's next?” (41:41, Funke)

Service and the Guest Experience

• Service as Emotional Labor:
  Funke praises front-of-house staff:
  “One of the hardest jobs in the service industry is being of service to people. Being a server or captain…that mental gymnastics is one of the most difficult things to achieve on a day-in, day-out basis, and nobody really talks about how punishing that is for people's psyche.” (47:05, Funke)

• Trusting the Restaurant:
  On guests letting staff guide their experience:
  "You don't need to be in control. Let us do the work for you. That's why we're here. If they would let go, they might be really, really pleased with the outcome." (49:36, Funke)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Being a Chef:
  • “I taste what I make. And it’s a job hazard.” (13:17, Funke)
• On Italian Culinary Tradition:
  • “Pasta was like…it could have been anything. But I wanted to do something nobody was doing.” (25:09, Funke)
  • “You can be a street sweeper and go home and make your own goat’s milk cheese…and live like a fucking king.” (28:24, Funke)
• On Simplicity:
  • “Coco Chanel that shit.” (32:10, Funke)
• On The Wait Staff:
  • “If [servers] project confidence with knowledge and feeling… it puts the guest at ease: Be my shepherd.” (49:05, Funke)
• On Taking Feedback:
  • “The worst thing on set you can have is a defensive actor. Because our whole job is to be told to do something different, adjust, try something different.” (43:27, Gabris)
• On Professional Growth:
  • “You have to care. Someone saying I don't care what people think is crazy... That's why we're in this business. Because we care about what people think of the experience.” (46:41, Funke)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Evan’s background & childhood: 00:13–03:53
• Kitchens in the ‘90s: abuse, change, and leadership: 08:53–11:49
• On being a mentor instead of a boss: 11:25–12:10
• Chef’s daily physical toll: 12:32–13:05
• Discovering pasta in Italy; learning from masters: 25:09–28:43
• Tradition and specificity in Italian cuisine: 28:49–29:37
• Restraint and the “Coco Chanel” approach: 32:05–32:26
• Favorite foods and sandwich discourse: 33:00–36:07
• Candidness and struggles with TV/social media for chefs: 38:10–40:36
• Artistic subjectivity in food and comedy: 44:38–45:58
• Hospitality, service, and waiting as a career: 47:05–49:20
• Plug for Funke’s restaurants: 54:48–57:01

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Fun, Memorable Moments

• Sandwich talk:
  Gabrus and Pally passionately describe their favorite sandwiches, with colorful detail on texture, temperature, and nostalgia for classic New York delis (34:28–35:29).

• Table shopping pet peeve:
  Funke and the hosts groan about people who ask to switch tables, why it makes no sense, and how dining out should be an act of trust and relinquishing control (51:09).

• Party Show to Health Show:
  Pally jokes about the arc from their earlier show (“101 Places to Party Before You Die”) to Staying Alive:
  “That was what we did in our late 30s, early 40s, and now in our mid-40s, we're like, trying to stay alive...we still do that. So how do we stay alive?” (53:53, Pally)

• Coco Chanel Line:
  The episode title comes from Funke’s philosophy on restraint:
  “Coco Chanel that shit.” — remove one thing before leaving the house, and in food, before plating (32:10–32:14).

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Quick Guide: Evan Funke's Restaurants (as of July 2026)

(54:59–57:01)

• Felix (Abbot Kinney, LA): Acclaimed Italian; “total gem.”
• Mother Wolf (Wilcox LA, Vegas, Miami): Roman food; “a party.”
• Funke (Beverly Hills): Three stories, rooftop bar, “old LA vibe.”
• Tri Dito (St. Regis, Chicago): High-end Tuscan fare.

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Tone & Style

The conversation is energetic, raw, and informally profound—full of R-rated jokes, affectionate ribbing, and hard-earned wisdom. Funke is candid and self-deprecating; Gabrus and Pally bring warmth and humor, keeping things light but always nudging for deeper insight. The dynamic is unscripted, often zigzagging from culinary technique to emotional struggles, from sandwich nostalgia to the philosophy of leadership.

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Closing Notes

Chef Evan Funke leaves listeners with a sense of the craft, toll, and beauty of his calling—anchored in tradition but hungry for meaning. Jon and Adam frame their own journey to “stay alive” as one of balancing joy and discipline, excess and simplicity, ego and self-acceptance.

This episode is kind of fun—and, in the Coco Chanel spirit, just right.

Transcript

[Evan Funke]

Smart, less medium.

[John Gabris]

Funky. So you, where do you grow up again?

[Evan Funke]

I grew up in Palisades.

[John Gabris]

Okay. So you're California now.

[Evan Funke]

Completely scorched California boy. My family's been in California since 1848.

[John Gabris]

Wow.

[Evan Funke]

So pre Gold rush, pre statehood, you

[John Gabris]

are giving Deadwood style Gold rush right now.

[Evan Funke]

I have a uniform. It's like, I don't want to think about it. I just want to.

[John Gabris]

Yeah, but it's funny that that uniform for some, and genetically as like probably what your ancestors were wearing.

[Adam Pally]

It's cyclical, man. I'm a little hungover today.

[John Gabris]

Are you?

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, but I think I'll be okay this job.

[John Gabris]

Well, can I ask you a question? Because we were communicating last night.

[Evan Funke]

Yeah.

[John Gabris]

Were you alone?

[Adam Pally]

No.

[John Gabris]

Okay.

[Adam Pally]

I went with friends Scotty and Mike Levinos to the Dodgers game.

[John Gabris]

Okay.

[Anne Harris]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

And a couple other people.

[John Gabris]

I didn't see them in the picture. And you told me what you were doing and then you told me all the things you did, but this is the first time you told me that people were with you.

[Adam Pally]

I was. I was with some people. Yeah. I got invited to a Dodgers game. I never been.

[John Gabris]

Yeah, you're not the first one. Yeah. You're not a big Dodgers guy.

[Adam Pally]

No. I didn't tell anyone there. As a Yankees fan, I bought a little hat that has an LA on it. So everyone knew I was enough. Yeah. And then I drank and cheered for Freddie Freeman and I had a blast. But, yeah, I've been. I've been. I was, you know, down for a while. Like, down. I guess dry is a better way to say it. I was dry for a hot minute, but now I'm. I'm back on the sauce. I'm chasing the dragon a little bit.

[John Gabris]

But you're also in the best shape of your life.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, I'm blonde.

[John Gabris]

Blonde.

[Adam Pally]

I'm. I still have.

[John Gabris]

I worked out with you the other day. You are fucking putting up racks.

[Adam Pally]

I'm strong. I'm blonde. I'm drunk. Watch out, world.

[John Gabris]

Oh, my God. I feel like Drew Barmore said that once in her career and it didn't go well. I'm strong. I'm drunk.

[Adam Pally]

It's raining.

[John Gabris]

Watch out, world. It's raining. We got a good guest, though.

[Adam Pally]

Oh, I'm stoked to talk food. I can't wait.

[John Gabris]

The king of kings. Yeah, he. He reminds me of a modern day old oil painting of an Italian man.

[Adam Pally]

He's got, you know, a great vibe to him. Like his energy is perfect, his volume is crazy.

[John Gabris]

He's got regal sense.

[Adam Pally]

And so we Have Evan Funky on. And we had Zoe Lister Jones. I'm talking about funky, funky town. And then it just said like, hey, let's call him and see if he'll do the pod. And now we got to have like. We're creating a extended universe of staying alive. I love you.

[John Gabris]

Yeah. That staying alive universe grows with this episode. I was really worried when he said he wanted to come on that I. That he was gonna want me to like pay my bill.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[John Gabris]

Because I just say put on the house. And I do not know how much money I've racked up at those restaurants.

[Adam Pally]

Well, we're about to find out. We told them the bill.

[Anne Harris]

Anne.

[John Gabris]

Anne's personal for her birthday. She said for her birthday she wants to be billed. Ladies and gentlemen, Evan Funky.

[Evan Funke]

I go through clothes because we're so hard on things. I use the things that I buy and if they're not built like diesel level sturdy, I just blow through it. I blow through shoes in six months.

[John Gabris]

Because you're on the. Because you're. Because. Yeah, because you're on your feet. Right.

[Evan Funke]

I'm a big bodied bends, you know, like, look at them like, you know, 275. I pound like everything that I wear. Yeah. It's hard use.

[Adam Pally]

Think about. Think about the crotch of those pants on a dinner rush.

[John Gabris]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

I can't stop thinking about things.

[John Gabris]

I constantly have to get new denim because my balls are blowing out when the dinner rush comes.

[Adam Pally]

I was just a bartender and I would shred my. To the. My pants on the drive home.

[Evan Funke]

As a bartender.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[Evan Funke]

That's a hard job, man.

[John Gabris]

The hardest.

[Adam Pally]

I think my. The bar I worked at was so trashy that we had on tap mgd, Miller Light, Bud heavy and Bud Light. And if you went downstairs to the tap.

[Evan Funke]

Wait, I've never heard it called Bud heavy.

[John Gabris]

Yeah, but heavy.

[Adam Pally]

But heavy.

[John Gabris]

That may be.

[Adam Pally]

But regular.

[John Gabris]

But reg.

[Evan Funke]

Wow.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, but heavy. But diesels. That's what we used to call.

[John Gabris]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

And then all four of those taps went down to bush light.

[Evan Funke]

Jesus.

[Adam Pally]

There's no variation. And like, I would be someone be like, I want Miller Light. I'm like, the keg stop. They're like, all right, I'll wait. I'm like, dude, just get. And they're all just worried. I would tell my friends. I'm like, just order stuff in cans and beers from here.

[John Gabris]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

Because every.

[John Gabris]

That's a grimy.

[Adam Pally]

Because we're putting fudgeing Crystal palace in the gray goose. We're putting like it's Crystal palace vodka and I'M doing, like, what, you know, you learn later is against the law, is marrying bottles.

[Evan Funke]

Marry this.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, yeah. It's exactly. It's like. And my. My manager at the bar, his. His famous thing was just make it red. He's like. He's like, if you don't know what the drink is that they ordered, just make it red. It's most likely a red drink.

[Evan Funke]

It's actually really solid advice.

[Commercial/Ad Voice]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

He's like, if you know the color,

[John Gabris]

that's how you treat sauce, right?

[Adam Pally]

Make it red. Hey, Funky. Make it red. Shut the.

[John Gabris]

That's what I. When I walk in, they play the Chicago Bulls theme. When me and Living Alan Parson Project starts playing and we go mega rat.

[Evan Funke]

Funky.

[John Gabris]

No, but. So you're California boy.

[Anne Harris]

You.

[John Gabris]

You food is, like, for chefs, it's not something that, like, you see a lot. You don't. You don't always see the young ingenue chef. And I think a lot of times it's because people have to develop a palette and develop a taste in a different way, you know?

[Evan Funke]

Yeah, sometimes.

[John Gabris]

So, like, what was your. What was your like. Oh, I. I think I could do this

[Evan Funke]

maybe yesterday.

[John Gabris]

Really? You still.

[Evan Funke]

Yeah, I mean, listen, I think with any. With any skill set, with any metier, you have to be a. A student of it constantly.

[John Gabris]

What about the Yankee? Yay. What if you're a Yankee?

[Evan Funke]

They set you up for that one. Are you a Knicks fan?

[John Gabris]

Yeah, dude.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[Evan Funke]

Congratulations.

[John Gabris]

Oh, my God.

[Evan Funke]

What has it been, like, five decades or.

[John Gabris]

99, I think. Yeah, 99. We were in the finals, but it's been since 78.

[Evan Funke]

Oh, I wasn't far off.

[John Gabris]

Yeah, no, it's been 78 that we.

[Evan Funke]

Wow.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[Evan Funke]

It's the year of my birth.

[John Gabris]

Really?

[Evan Funke]

Yeah.

[Anne Harris]

Wow.

[John Gabris]

I'm 82.

[Evan Funke]

Yeah.

[John Gabris]

Nice dog.

[Anne Harris]

80.

[John Gabris]

We're old.

[Adam Pally]

19. 82.

[Evan Funke]

80.

[Adam Pally]

We are not 80. Also.

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[John Gabris]

You look great. What are you doing? Stay alive.

[Evan Funke]

You know, just opening restaurants.

[John Gabris]

Is that it?

[Adam Pally]

Work is famously good for your mental and physical health. A lot of people say, like, there's always a Movie about a chef who's opening a new restaurant and how good it is for you.

[Evan Funke]

Know what I like, I have, honestly, I. I have an extraordinary group of people around me that keep me alive. Yeah. My chief of staff is like the one that keeps me level headed. Otherwise it's just.

[Adam Pally]

You're the second person I've heard who has a chief of staff. The other, of course, being the President of the United States of America. That's a great title to have as someone who works for you. The chief of staff. That's awesome.

[Evan Funke]

To be in that position, you have to be unflappable.

[John Gabris]

And that's interviewing your press secretary then.

[Evan Funke]

That I don't have.

[John Gabris]

Yeah, you have to be. That's the head of the snake. Right.

[Anne Harris]

Your.

[John Gabris]

Your chief of staff is like your.

[Evan Funke]

Yeah, because if I'm not calm, if I'm freaking the fuck out, then everybody's gonna freak out. So I need to be consistently calm and very even keeled, which I am normally.

[Adam Pally]

I'm hard pressed to picture you. I mean, I don't know you that well.

[John Gabris]

I've only known you in the highest of 10 situations and you seem pretty even keeled.

[Evan Funke]

As a younger man and younger chef, I was a fucking wild animal.

[Anne Harris]

Yeah.

[Evan Funke]

Because that's what I learned coming up in kitchens was like, you know, abuse. Mental, physical, emotional, just manipulative. Like it was intense in the night in 90s, early 2000s. That's what. What the normal was.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[Evan Funke]

And none of it is acceptable, that bear shit. Especially now. The bear, I think the bear is a.

[John Gabris]

Is when they're yelling at you and they're like perfect on the plate.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[John Gabris]

Like there's a smudge and bear is

[Evan Funke]

a coagulation of everything that anyone's ever said about an abusive kitchen. Right. Because they need to filter it down into very manageable and digestible portions. But that all of that doesn't happen all at once. Because the restaurant business is a marathon. It is not a sprint. And those episodes are sprints. So you got to get a lot into it for people to get the general sense of what is. But like, you know, the worst, the worst episode is like a Tuesday afternoon for some people. And I've seen it and felt it and been a part of it, and it's not easy. But I don't think that there's an easy business that exists. Maybe selling drugs.

[John Gabris]

Right.

[Evan Funke]

Maybe that's easy.

[Adam Pally]

But I would say there's a pressure there. I would say, well, yeah, you have. I. I sold drugs in Sweden under this elite Level drug dealer. And no, I'm just like.

[John Gabris]

When you don't like real drug.

[Adam Pally]

When you work for like a chef or you're like, yeah, I worked for the real drug deal. Like, you know, you work with like

[John Gabris]

a. I'm going to open up a farm. Too long drug place. Because I was drug dealing.

[Adam Pally]

Farm to mirror.

[John Gabris]

I was drug dealing out in. In Sweden with some of the. Some of the top drug dealers. And I thought I started to see my customer and I was like, I'm losing it with them.

[Adam Pally]

I'm losing touch.

[John Gabris]

Losing touch.

[Adam Pally]

I'm blasting rails on behalf of someone else's dream. No. The 90s and the 2000s. I feel like there's a lot of stuff about most art forms. Cooking. I would say entertainment too. Where it seemed like the only methodology was forged in the fire and like, you know, rolls downhill and milk.

[John Gabris]

And then you find that like sharpened steel.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah. And then you find later on you're like, oh, there is other ways to do it.

[Evan Funke]

100, most certainly other ways to do it. And. And currently I'm. That's what I'm doing. Because, you know, you're stopping. Fear and intimidation only lasts so long, as does love. Love only lasts so long. So you have to build a real connection with the people that do this job on a daily basis. Otherwise they're not going to fucking follow you.

[John Gabris]

Right.

[Evan Funke]

You need to be a mentor, you need to be a guide, you need to be a shepherd, you need to be a father figure, you need to be a psychologist. You need to be all of these things. Wherever an employee or a teammate has holes, you have to be the one to fill in the fucking hole. You have to be that person. Otherwise no one's gonna follow you into the thing. Right into the void.

[John Gabris]

Yeah.

[Evan Funke]

It just doesn't exist anymore.

[Adam Pally]

And you want people following you that you can trust, and they want to be able to trust you. Going into the void and know that no one's gonna get left hanging in the void or.

[John Gabris]

And it takes effort to do that, especially at your level.

[Evan Funke]

Because it takes all of the effort.

[John Gabris]

Yeah. Cause you could easily just be riding in black cars and making menus, you know?

[Evan Funke]

And like, I mean, I do.

[John Gabris]

Yeah, I know, but I'm kidding.

[Evan Funke]

I've been in the, like, it's. I say this a lot. I. Those people don't work for me. I work for them. And that's how it has to fucking be. Never put my. Myself in the position where I take from them, because that is the wrong position to be in.

[John Gabris]

Are you working with a trainer?

[Evan Funke]

No, I don't. I just. I'm so fucking lazy, dude.

[John Gabris]

You're not.

[Evan Funke]

I leave it. I leave it all on. On the field every single day. And like, when I get up, I. It is like push ups the walking dead when I get up.

[Adam Pally]

So this is the kind of, you

[Evan Funke]

know, I need to like, stretch and crack and like.

[John Gabris]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

This is like the light trap of the. A job that is physical too, where you're like, I'm not gonna get. You're not being fully, you know, sitting around and just calcifying. You're moving, you're on your feet, you're doing mine.

[Evan Funke]

Like, you'll see when I get up out of this very comfortable couch, I'm gonna be like, holy.

[Adam Pally]

Right?

[Evan Funke]

Because when my knees go to 90 degrees, it. It's gonna take some effort to get back up.

[John Gabris]

Right?

[Evan Funke]

Plus, you know, like, I'm fat. Okay. I'm a professional. I hide it very well.

[Anne Harris]

Yeah.

[Evan Funke]

I'm a professional because I taste what I make.

[John Gabris]

Right?

[Adam Pally]

Right.

[Evan Funke]

And it's. It's a job hazard.

[John Gabris]

How do you not?

[Adam Pally]

Well, especially your.

[John Gabris]

Your food. Like, I remember the first dish that you ever served me was on set. It was the pesto. The. What was the. The name of that special?

[Evan Funke]

The trophy. Yeah. Wait, was that the first time that you ever had my pasta was on a fucking.

[John Gabris]

It was on set. And so like, and, and, and, and

[Evan Funke]

I'm glad it was good because that was.

[John Gabris]

It was beyond good. It was like we ate. Everybody ate. All the set food is the only time I've ever seen that happen. And like. But I was. I mean, it's so for it to be that good when you're cooking on a hot plate, you know, like, do

[Adam Pally]

you want to contextualize this for the audience?

[John Gabris]

Yeah, sorry for the audience. Evan was on my television show, Mr. Throwback, playing himself, who is Steph Curry's personal chef, which actually has come to life now a couple times where you've been Steph Curry's personal chef. So it wasn't much of a stretch, but when Evan was on the show, he cooked for us just out of the goodness of. We could have doubled it.

[Evan Funke]

We feed people. That's what we do. And it was how we show love.

[John Gabris]

Magnificent piece. And I got it may way late. It got to my mouth way late compared to when it was supposed to. You know what I mean? And it was the most delicious pesto pasta dish I've ever had in my entire life. And I like that is you can tell when you have one of your dishes. Like this is like a Porsche, right? Like this is thought out.

[Evan Funke]

I had really, really good teachers and I was a. I. I pride myself on putting myself in the student position as much as possible. No matter what the situation, no matter what's. Because there's always something to learn. Even if you're sitting with like. I was with one of my wife's friends, we were at Bottle Rock literally yesterday, did a demo and her.

[John Gabris]

Who played. Who closed Fighters.

[Evan Funke]

I don't know who closed. I was out. Yeah, I think we, like, we watched Somber and I was like, I'm done.

[John Gabris]

I don't understand this.

[Evan Funke]

But like, you know, it's like a 7 year old and an 11 year old and like, if you're with young people and you're not listening to the creativ that is literally fucking coming out of their mouth, then you're missing the whole point in life because they have no, like, they have no Brita in. It's unfiltered. And it's just their observations as new to this experience. If you listen to them, it's wild. Like, where did you. Where did you fucking learn that?

[Adam Pally]

Oh, that's cool.

[Evan Funke]

Where did you see that? Where did, like. So if as a chef, if you're not constantly in this childlike mental state of creativity and searching and curiosity, you're missing the whole point. But that creativity needs to match a skill set. And there's so much. There's so much like people on the squirrel wheel or the.

[Anne Harris]

Whatever.

[Evan Funke]

Hamster wheel. Sorry, squirrel.

[John Gabris]

Yes, Squirrel hamster wheels got wheels. But they're usually see them more flying.

[Evan Funke]

Everybody's chasing something and they're not stopping to master what's in front of them.

[John Gabris]

You speak about it very similarly to like some of my favorite directors that I've worked with, because there's a certain air of when you're directing a movie or a TV show, you're looked at as like the beacon of taste. Like you are the level of taste on a basic level. Is it good or not? Does. Do they like it? You know, in movies and you're creating this huge like theater and sensory experience, but you're talking about it in a way that's like collaborative. Collaborative.

[Adam Pally]

Well, like a good director would be like. Well, the production designer.

[John Gabris]

Exactly. Where a good director will talk about all the elements that go into it.

[Evan Funke]

Well, it's all production at the end of the day, like whether you're what. It's just different medium. You know, I grew up in the movie business, so like I'M familiar with how this sausage gets made, so you're.

[John Gabris]

So talk to me about growing up in the movie business.

[Evan Funke]

My dad's a three time Oscar winner, Right. One ninety one for Total Recall Special effects. The DP for special effects.

[Adam Pally]

True Ricks. Yeah, that. That one of my favorite visual effects.

[John Gabris]

You should get a lifetime achievement for the. You should get a lifetime achievement award for three titties. Because that is something that my mind will never. Those three titties will.

[Evan Funke]

I mean, that movie was like groundbreaking. In 91, they got. They got a special award. I think they were up like. Like Back to the Future, Three Cities.

[Adam Pally]

Quado.

[John Gabris]

That is Quado.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[John Gabris]

I mean, all of that. It's all that alleged.

[Evan Funke]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

Tony's weird head.

[Evan Funke]

Yeah. And then he did. You mean he did like King Kong and Mighty Joe Young and Mystery Men. And then did.

[John Gabris]

I love Mystery Men. Unsung.

[Evan Funke]

Unsung.

[John Gabris]

Dude, Three Men, Starship Troopers on song. Went back and looked at Mystery Men. Now it would. It would feel almost like the boys or something. It would have like a way more darker tone because.

[Anne Harris]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

Early comic book parody that not a lot of people talk about.

[John Gabris]

Exactly.

[Anne Harris]

Yeah.

[Evan Funke]

And then Lord of the Rings.

[John Gabris]

I was just in New Zealand three months.

[Evan Funke]

It's so beautiful, man.

[John Gabris]

Yusemi came out to golf and we went to one of the. This amazing spot.

[Evan Funke]

You golf?

[John Gabris]

No.

[Evan Funke]

Me either.

[John Gabris]

I eat.

[Evan Funke]

Okay, good.

[John Gabris]

So when Buscemi comes to town, like, call me in four hours.

[Adam Pally]

Call me after you.

[John Gabris]

Call me after you golf and then I will be there. But it's called Alma. Alma in Auckland, dude. I will put it on your list next time you. You head down that way. It is a must. It is like. It was revelation. The bar program too was like, they don't.

[Evan Funke]

I mean, they have extraordinary natural resources.

[Adam Pally]

They do, yeah.

[John Gabris]

The food story was good. It's good, yeah.

[Adam Pally]

I remember a conversation with a local when I was in Auckland. A Kiwi said to me, I see on the menu it never says organic, mate. I'm like, yeah. No. He goes, doesn't have to. It's all organic. And I was like, well, that's really funny. In America, we're like bragging, like, we didn't fuck this lettuce up at all. Here in New Zealand, they don't even think that they have to, like, don't worry, we didn't put chemicals on your vegetables.

[Evan Funke]

Yeah. That's a real thing.

[John Gabris]

Yeah. A morning walk, some bird watching. It's another easy Sunday. UnitedHealth Group makes these ordinary days possible. With partners like the University of Tennessee Health Sciences helping communities manage their health closer to home, 54% of participants have lowered their blood pressure, meaning fewer heart attacks and more Sundays at the park. This might feel like an ordinary day to UnitedHealth Group. It's the healthcare system working better for everyone. Learn [e-mail] commitment Some flavors can only

[Anne Harris]

be crafted by nature. One sunny day, a honeybee discovered a mysterious apple blossom and carried its pollen to a honeycrisp tree. Months later, something extraordinary was born. The Sugar Bee Apple. With notes of honey, caramel and molasses, balanced by bright sweetness and an extra crisp crunch, Sugar Bee apples elevate everything from charcuterie boards and salads to baked treats and everyday snacking. Ready for some inspiration? Download our free recipe book and discover delicious ways to enjoy Sugar Bee apples@hellosugar bee.com apples from B to you yeah

[Adam Pally]

at Carl's Jr when late night cravings hit you, hit back after 8pm for just 5.99. Bag the Cali classic Spicy Chicken Sandwich or for a limited time, the Bacon Cheeseburger. Decide between fries or onion rings and get four chicken stars. You build it.

[John Gabris]

We bag it.

[Adam Pally]

Just 5.99. Build your bag all day and unlock

[John Gabris]

more choices on the app.

[Adam Pally]

Available for a limited time at participating restaurants. Tax not included. Price may vary.

[John Gabris]

Not valid.

[Adam Pally]

Any other offer, discount or combo. See out for details. We're obsessed with trying to stay, stay alive and stay in shape, but we're also obsessed with eating and love food.

[John Gabris]

This is exactly this super hard for

[Adam Pally]

a chef, like living in that world where it's just like you can go like full Orson Welles, Andre the Giant.

[Evan Funke]

I love the Andre the Giant.

[Adam Pally]

Drink and eat yourself to death. You could like, like there just feels like for me, it feels like, you know, being in a room, like, like it's just all my vices around, you know, like how do you, how do

[Evan Funke]

you split the diff early on? Early on, very, very difficult. Like, I wanted to eat the world, right? But think of it this way. Put yourself in the shoes of someone who works in n out. Okay? In and out. You're around. You drive by in n out. So it's one right over here, right by my house. Drive by like, oh man, those grilled onions smell amazing. Now put yourself in that 300 days out of the year. You think you're fucking eating in and out. Absolutely not. So it's like a, it's Groundhog Day or Thanksgiving Day. On Thanksgiving, you spend nine hours cooking a turkey. Turkey is the Last fucking thing that you want to eat at the end of the day. So when you're around it all of the time, it gets in your skin, it gets in your clothes. You're constantly tasting everything, because as you're producing things coming leading up to service, you're tasting everything. So when someone says, do you want a bite of this? I say, no, I know exactly what it tastes like. I don't need to. So after a while, you become a really bad dinner guest because you're constantly assessing everything around you. Not just the food, but the decor, the plate ware. You know, this silverware has spots on it. It's not polished. That glass is dirty. That person just dropped a napkin. I hope someone replaces it, et cetera, et cetera.

[John Gabris]

Well, yeah, I can't go see a

[Adam Pally]

comedy show, so you gotta, like, you gotta learn how to, like, I call it, like, see through the scaffolding. Because, like, you. You always just see the scaffolding when you're. When you're. If you're a builder, when you see the building, you know, like, oh, this. You know, and that's hard when you're, like, watching a comedy show, to not be in your head of, like, I, you know, twice, like, tweak.

[Evan Funke]

That would have done that. I would have done this.

[John Gabris]

Or even on a movie, too. You're just like, oh, God, I could see the mic wire.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[John Gabris]

You know, and you're like, you know?

[Evan Funke]

But it ruins a lot of the experience that most people really, really enjoy about restaurants. And that's beautiful. Please come enjoy. It's not my job to enjoy. It is your job to enjoy. All you should be worried about is what to eat and drink. And, like, that's why I seek out restaurants that, number one, they don't know or give a shit who I am. Number two, I want to eat things that I have no idea how to make, and I purposely do not learn how to make them because I will ruin them for myself. So I eat, like, kore food and Vietnamese and sushi and all of the, like, all that stuff.

[John Gabris]

All right?

[Adam Pally]

And you're never like, I got to learn how to make my own cow soy. And then you're like, no, I'll be too mad. Like, then I'll start overthinking the cow soy at the. My local Thai place.

[Evan Funke]

Exactly.

[Adam Pally]

Whatever, right?

[John Gabris]

It's almost like, out of competition.

[Anne Harris]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Gabris]

You know, but so pasta. Just because I remember talking to you about this a couple times. Pasta for you. Like, you.

[Evan Funke]

You.

[John Gabris]

You find yourself in Italy, right? And it changes Your life essentially, like the experience of. Of being in Italy and eating pasta.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah. Talk to us about.

[John Gabris]

Tell me about that experience.

[Adam Pally]

Forgive me if I jerk off.

[John Gabris]

Yeah, tell me that experience.

[Adam Pally]

Finger my mouth.

[John Gabris]

I'm sorry to start to see him put his whole hand in his mouth. That's how he curbs his appetite. But I just. The way that you talk to me about it, it was so inspiring. And also, like, you know, Bourdain, as a big Bourdain fans and whatnot. Like, I, you know, reading about his trip to Vietnam or whatever, where it' the world open. Similarly, I feel like when you talk to me about Italy, I feel that way. And we both, you know, he's Italian, and I love the place. I like, what was it? What happened that, like, changed your life there?

[Evan Funke]

I think, like, what was missing in my life at the time and still was a reverence for something. You know, in the United States, there's not a lot of culinary history right there. There are some deeply rooted culinary histories, but there's not much. Italian cuisine has an identity, and it's very, very proudly represented in every single place and every single person that you meet. They are proud of what they produce. They are proud of their campanilissimo. It's a word of. It's pride of one's origin. And everywhere you go, they have this pride. Let me show you this. And you don't find that a lot. You find it in certain places, but in Italy, it's just this special feeling for their culinary history. And so pasta was like. I mean, it could have been anything, right? It could have been medicine. I could have. I hate school. So, like, this was like, the perfect solve for me. I wanted to do something physical. I wanted to do something that nobody was doing, right? And in order to research this thing that I wanted to do, I had to go to the fucking library. Because this was like 2007. There was no Internet, right? There were, like web pages, not websites.

[John Gabris]

Like, you were looking at microfiche, dude.

[Evan Funke]

Like books and books and books and books and books. Like, research for a year and finally, you know, found this place called Bologna where they make pasta with a fucking stick. And I was like, yo, this is because I wanted to make pasta. And I had made machine made pasta. Like, they make it with a stick.

[John Gabris]

What.

[Evan Funke]

What is this? And I just hooked onto it and eventually found my mentor, Alessandra Spiesni. She had a small school at the time. Now she's, you know, to Mike Tyson of pasta making in Emilia Romagna. And I Called them up, and I was like, hey, I want to come make pasta. Okay, it'll be a thousand euros. We'll see when you get here. And when I went, it was just like drinking from a fire hose. It blew my mind. The rhythm of this people, the rhythm of their lifestyle, their reverence for ingredients and seasonality. It wasn't just the pasta making, it was the entire country. I fell in love, like, deeply. Head over heels, fucking Gaga for Italy in general. But Alessandro was the one to open the door for me to start seeking out other women who make pasta. And it is women, the vast majority of women make pasta still to this day, because it was a rite of passage for thousands of years. You had to learn how to do this in order to live. And that's why, even though Italians, they don't make a lot of money, they live very, very well because they have these deeply rooted culinary traditions. You could be a street sweeper and go home and make your own goat's milk cheese and make your own olive oil, make your own batarga and make your own pasta and live like a fucking king, because they have the means to do it, because they've been those. Those rights and rituals have been passed down from generation to generation.

[Adam Pally]

It's awesome.

[Evan Funke]

It's just something that was never. I never found in my family life.

[Adam Pally]

It's funny, anecdotally, you see that reflected in Italian American culture, where every one of my relatives is like, no, no, no, this is how you do clams. No, no, no. This is how we always do our sauce.

[Evan Funke]

You know, like, it's region specific, not just regional specific, but it's. It's specific to the city, and then it's specific house to house. And I say this all the time. You go to one grandma's house, and she's going to swear up and down to Jesus Christ and all the saints that if your regobolognese doesn't have this, this, and this in it, and if you don't make it this way, it's not fucking regobolognese. You go next door, they say something completely different. And they swear up and down to the popes and all the fucking apostles that if you don't have this, this, and this and that, it's not Regu Bolognese.

[Adam Pally]

And then they both taste awesome, they're both spectacular.

[Evan Funke]

But it's about trad. Tradition, to me, is something that you are moved to do again and again. And every tradition that exists is very familially based. It's like, based in that family because they were moved to do so. Or that tradition was born out of practice, of bad habit or socioeconomical issues or whatever. It is like the Tuscans still to this day don't put salt in their bread. You can go and buy a kilo of salt for a euro, but because tradition dictates you don't fucking put salt in bread. It's just the way it's done. So I just find the diversity there so extraordinarily interesting. And I will go back to Italy a hundred times before I go anywhere else.

[John Gabris]

Yeah, that's kind of. I mean, I love it there.

[Adam Pally]

I've only been there once and was with you.

[Commercial/Ad Voice]

You.

[John Gabris]

Yeah, I. I just love that. And we had a similar experience and. And I've been there several, many times now. But we. We were there and it was like we were shooting a movie and it was the middle of the night. Where were we? We're in Berga Luca, or Luca. Luca Braga.

[Evan Funke]

Yeah.

[John Gabris]

And in the middle of the night. And we were moving hotels, so after rap, we had to drive like an hour into the Alps.

[Evan Funke]

Barga Bar in Tuscany. I was just there.

[John Gabris]

We had a meal. Do you remember that seafood pasta?

[Adam Pally]

When we. When we said to the guy, oh, my God, sorry, we didn't realize you were closed. He's like, no, I can make you something, but you can't pick what it is.

[John Gabris]

Yeah. He's like, I just gotta make you what I have.

[Adam Pally]

And we were like, dream of courses. Yeah. He makes us three courses. It's midnight, the restaurant's closed, chairs are up everywhere, bottles. We sit down and he just serves us, like a full dish.

[John Gabris]

And it was one of the best meals ever. And you're like, oh, this doesn't happen. This is regional specific. You're not getting.

[Adam Pally]

The first thing he brought out was just sliced tomato, sliced burrata, and sliced prosciutto. And it was just like. Or sliced mozzarella, whatever. And it was fucking stellar.

[Evan Funke]

That's one of the reasons why I love Italian food, and this exists in other cuisines. But there's nowhere to hide because it's so simple. The simplicity belies the technique behind it. It belies the amount of work that goes into producing a perfect tomato. And all you need to do is try desperately not to fuck it up by exercising restraint. And that's what's missing, in my opinion, in a lot of food today that's produced in restaurants is restraint.

[John Gabris]

Right.

[Evan Funke]

Because they want to add and add and add. In my position, I'm going To Coco Chanel, that shit, right?

[Adam Pally]

Look at yourself in the mirror on the way out the door and take off one item.

[Evan Funke]

That's right.

[John Gabris]

Yeah.

[Evan Funke]

Coco Chanel, that shit. Take it off because it doesn't need it. Doesn't need it. And, you know, some people say that, you know, that's really boring. It's too simple. It's really boring. But like, that, for me, that's the juice, man.

[Commercial/Ad Voice]

That's.

[Evan Funke]

That's what I want.

[John Gabris]

I mean, I still think that that's the whole, like, high, low idea of like, of taste, I think exists even in. In food, you know, where you're like, I want something that's so simple that. That it. It hits me. It. That it, like, evokes an emotion in me and hits me in the sweet spot. It can be complicated, but the way it hits me has to be simple. I need to taste it, you know? Do you know what I mean? Like, it can. And so there's something kind of like,

[Evan Funke]

what's your favorite thing to eat?

[John Gabris]

Depends. Like, I'm such a garbage person. I really. It's like, wait, eating is fun in general.

[Evan Funke]

Expand on.

[John Gabris]

Eating is fun in general.

[Evan Funke]

You're just a glutton for everything.

[John Gabris]

I live to eat.

[Evan Funke]

Will you throw down on a McDonald's cheeseburger?

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[John Gabris]

Yes. But I'm trying not to right now, but I will, like, if I haven't ordered.

[Adam Pally]

But I'm bougie in a way where, like, when APL was doing like, dry aged beef versions of the Quarter Pounder with cheese and was like. That was fucking bad thing.

[John Gabris]

Yeah. I mean, but like, my favorite. I mean, I think sushi is like my number one go to for like, what I would want to eat.

[Evan Funke]

And it's extremely hard to master.

[John Gabris]

Yeah. And simple. It's just. Just fish and rice. But why is some good and some bad? It's like the. Again, it's like there's nowhere to hide in that.

[Adam Pally]

I love. I'm a sandwich guy. Like, that's, to me, is the ultimate, like a sandwich of all, any kind. And like, sandwich culture was just huge when I was growing up and we were the cold cuts family, you know what I mean? It was like my dad would pick up boar's head every Friday from Enzo's, you know, and it would be like turkey sandwich. Like, everything was. Sandwich was like, such a piece of joy. And then you move into New York City and you're like, having a bacon, egg and cheese or maybe a chicken cutlet later, like, or Italian combo, getting on that semolina bread. All that is just brings me such fucking joy. And I love that it's something I can do. You know what I mean? Obviously I can't rip out a good one, but I can like you're like, if I want to, I can just get enough stuff at the store.

[Evan Funke]

You have a favorite sandwich in Los Angeles?

[John Gabris]

I don't have one in New York which is it's the Mona Lisa sub from Sunny and Annie's Deli on 2nd Avenue between 6th and 70. This very it is a seated sesame seeded hoagie roll with chicken cutlet, fresh burrata, tomato, not tomato, fresh burrata basil and roasted red pepper with this like syrupy thick balsamic vinegar that almost like goes on last over the cheese, which almost makes the cheese turn like a tan color, a cream color and is and they. The bread is cold. Bread is cold. The bread is cold. The bread is cold. The cheese is cold, the pepper is cold, but the chicken cutlet is steaming hot.

[Evan Funke]

That's, I like that contrast.

[John Gabris]

And it's like that bite is that's I think the best sandwich bite in New York City in my opinion.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[John Gabris]

What's yours in la?

[Adam Pally]

La? It's kind of hard for me to choose. I do like the spicy pea from Giada is that's like their vodka sauce sandwich. The Mamie Pistachio. Pistachio one is pretty good. But I, I, I don't have like an LA banger, but there's a few places.

[John Gabris]

Uncle Paulie's is like a, there's just so many good.

[Evan Funke]

Paulie does a good job.

[John Gabris]

He does a good job. Like there's like, you know, there's just

[Adam Pally]

so many options and I'm so glad that place exists. But what I miss is in New York is like, like the most random deli can get delivery.

[Evan Funke]

Ask me again, what's your favorite sandwich in Los Angeles?

[John Gabris]

Jimmy John's.

[Commercial/Ad Voice]

All right.

[Adam Pally]

Whoops.

[John Gabris]

Wait. Hope I didn't just jeopardize a very important contract.

[Evan Funke]

Jimmy John's.

[Anne Harris]

Some flavors can only be crafted by nature. One sunny day, a honeybee discovered a mysterious apple blossom and carried its pollen to a honeycrisp tree. Months later, something extraordinary was born. The Sugar Bee apple. With notes of honey, caramel and molasses, balanced by bright sweetness and an extra crisp crunch. Sugar Bee apples elevate everything from charcuterie boards and salads to baked treats and everyday snacking. Ready for some inspiration? Download our free recipe book and discover delicious ways to enjoy Sugar bee [e-mail] from bee to.

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[Anne Harris]

Evening.

[Adam Pally]

Buyer's remorse. Buy a new car.

[Evan Funke]

I'll be moving in.

[Adam Pally]

Let's get started.

[Commercial/Ad Voice]

Sorry, I think there's been a mistake. I bought it from Carvana.

[John Gabris]

You what?

[Commercial/Ad Voice]

Yeah, great price. I even have seven days to love it or return it.

[Adam Pally]

So there's no.

[Commercial/Ad Voice]

No, no Buyer's remorse more like buyers rejoice.

[Adam Pally]

I guess I'll let myself out. Congratulations. I mean it.

[Commercial/Ad Voice]

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[John Gabris]

Here's a question I don't think I've ever asked you before, but so you, you, you spend a lot of time in front of the camera?

[Evan Funke]

Yeah.

[John Gabris]

Does that change your cooking? Like do you find. Do you, you, you never, you know, you don't cook for the camera?

[Evan Funke]

No, no, no, no, no, never.

[John Gabris]

Do you ever get self conscious about it or are you, are you just like you're, you're so dialed in, you're so focused.

[Evan Funke]

Well, honestly, like I black out, I just black out.

[John Gabris]

I know that feeling.

[Evan Funke]

And I tell anytime I'm going to do like something on TV or whatever, I say to the producers up front, I'm a one take pony. So if you ask me, can you do that again with a little bit more feeling, I'm saying no, I can't because I just gave it all to you. I can't even remember what the fuck I said, right? And like, because I'm just in it. I'm trying as hard as possible without trying to, to be myself. And in life, I try to be as candid as possible. It gets me in trouble sometimes. But I just don't have time to fucking lie. I don't have time to bullshit because I can't remember.

[Adam Pally]

Now zoom out a little bit for us here. You are an interesting good on camera person. Speaks in full sentences. But is that a very frustrating Thing that's been added to the job of chef in a weird way where it's like as a comic, I hate that I have to do so much social, which feels like you have to learn something that's tangential to your job now. It feels like if you're a chef who isn't camera friendly, it could, you know, unless it's like you're cartoonishly camera unfriendly that it lends its to your like, reputation.

[Evan Funke]

It's an effort. It's an effort. Something that you. It's a, it's a skill set. And like speaking publicly when I was a younger person and less experienced doing it was like my ultimate fucking hot nightmare. Like, oh my God. I get in front of people and like say something and I still get like a little bit of jitters, but as soon as I'm doing it, I'm in it and I'm. And I'm giving everything to the moment as much as possible. And then when it's done, it's done. And I don't want to watch it afterwards. Like the chef's table, like, I don't, I can't watch it because I'm living it again. I gave it all onto the camera. I know exactly who I was in the moment.

[Anne Harris]

Moment.

[Evan Funke]

I don't want to watch it again.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, I can't watch anything.

[John Gabris]

I don't watch my own.

[Adam Pally]

I hate myself.

[Evan Funke]

And I think a lot of like actors or whatever, they don't watch their own because they know exactly what they did. Take after take after take. I don't need to know which take you use.

[Adam Pally]

You talk about, see the scaffolding. The second I'm looking at myself, I'm like, you fat pig.

[John Gabris]

I was thinking about this the other day because I was, I was thinking of this the other day. I was listening to an NBA podcast and one of the players was talking about how the worst day for an NBA player is the day after a loss when the coach goes through footage. I'm sure because you are forced to sit there and they have, they like, sometimes you don't know when you're behaving the way you would never want to behave. And especially if it's out of exhaustion or whatever, you know, they have the footage and they're watching it and you're watching yourself do it it. And I feel. And I was listening to that and thinking, well, maybe that is part of the reason that I don't like watching myself is cuz like I'm afraid to see, I'm afraid to See where I let the guy go in, in the zone, and I'm. I'm afraid to see where it's like, too real. Because I take the victory is like, yeah, man, I did it. I was on television. But maybe there is something to learn with, like, watching your footage and seeing what ended up there and how you got there.

[Adam Pally]

That tape day is.

[Evan Funke]

I'm like my own worst critic. Like, I beat the out of myself when I. When I have an error. I try to study it as much as possible along with the victories. And I think a lot of successes are not repeated is because the success wasn't studied as much as the failure. When you fail, you're like, how did this happen? What did I do? How did we get here? When you win, you're like, fuck, yeah. What's next? And you don't study it. And this is what we talk about a lot in my restaurants, is like peer to peer accountability and being as candid as possible with each other. When we know we've cut a fucking corner and not feeling bad about it in the moment, it's like, okay, heard I'm moving on to the next, So. I love Formula one. It's like after the race, win or lose or dnf, they get into a room and put on the fucking headsets and they go through every fucking minute, every turn, every lap, and study. What could we do better? What do we never want to repeat again? And what do we do? Well? And they study it like it's visceral. If you watch it, it's wild.

[Adam Pally]

That's cool.

[Evan Funke]

And it's hardcore. Because in the restaurant business, what makes us good at what we do is being in this emotional state. It's this giving state. That's why we're all hunchback. It's because we live in this here, this giving area. So when you try to give critical feedback, when people are in this emotional state of giving, it fucking stings. So it's hard to get people to disengage from the emotion, take the feedback, and then move on.

[John Gabris]

Same thing as an actor. You know, I say the same thing to other actor friends of mine. I'm like, the. The worst thing on set you can have is a defensive actor. Because our whole job is to be told to do something different, adjust, try something different. And you would be shocked how many actors, when they get that note, are like, you, I just did it. I did it the way I did.

[Evan Funke]

That's exactly what I did.

[John Gabris]

It's like, yeah. And it's like that defensiveness gets everybody in trouble.

[Adam Pally]

Well, I'm sure it likes, like, cooking it. You're like, we shouldn't take personal offense, but since we put ourselves into it, it's so hard not, you know, where it's like.

[Evan Funke]

And everybody.

[Adam Pally]

The director or the person who's going, like, I think this needs a little bit something. And you're like, that is not per. This is a collaborative moment. This is what we're doing. But it's hard not to go. Like, I delivered what you expected.

[John Gabris]

Like, me.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[Evan Funke]

Yeah.

[John Gabris]

You know, and it must be similar, like, when, like, my. You're thought of as your work. Like, my. To people that don't know me, I'm thought of as these. These TV shows that were successful or not successful. Similarly to you. It's like your food is you. You know, people. Yeah, people eat your food.

[Evan Funke]

My restaurants are me.

[John Gabris]

Yeah. Like, that is a huge amount of. Of both. Relief because you're, like, expressing yourself, but pressure because you don't. You're. You're not getting the full self out there. You're just. People are judging you on your pasta.

[Evan Funke]

Very much so. And. And cooking is just like any other art form. It's a craft, but it's an art form. Painting is a craft, but it's also an art form. And just like music or painting or sculpting or cooking, it's really subjective. And you might love fucking Nirvana, and I fucking hate Nirvana, but I can't fuck with your expertise because, you know, if we're talking about food, you know, what is salty, what is sweet, what is spicy, what is cold, what is good, what is bad. I can't fuck with that expertise because I'm not you. So finding this beauty in the middle of satisfying the 95 percentile is so difficult to do because everybody's judging you from what you put on Instagram, what you put on the plate and how you serve. What you serve and how you serve it are equally important. Important in this business. And it's just. It's. This is what makes this thing so difficult because so real.

[Adam Pally]

Like, I can't even.

[Evan Funke]

Show business literally built on a subjective thing.

[Adam Pally]

I can even show a loved one a movie I didn't make without feeling some immense pressure of like, I hope they like Manhunter. And I'm watching them watch it and go, I don't think they're liking it. It's like, now I'm. Now I'm taking personal offense on my recommendation of a movie, and it's like, I've tied my personality to someone else's movie. Like losing my mind over here.

[John Gabris]

Are you working on that? Are you working on kind of like. Cuz I feel like I'm working on that. My own personal life. I, I, I want to, I want to more not worry about the person that my work says I am and be comfortable in the person that I am so that I can do better work, you know?

[Evan Funke]

Yeah. I think that like people say, oh, I don't care what people think. They're not gonna last long. Like you need to care.

[Adam Pally]

Someone saying I don't care what they think is crazy. I'm doing comedy. I don't care what they think. Although I wish they would laugh.

[John Gabris]

Then you care for me for you to eat.

[Anne Harris]

Right.

[Evan Funke]

Like that's why we're in this business. Because we care about what people think of the experience.

[Anne Harris]

Yeah.

[Evan Funke]

And it's not food, it's not just ambiance, not just wineless. It's the entire thing. We're really literally putting theater on. And I want to talk about something really specific in this is. I think one of the hardest jobs in the service industry is being of service to people. Especially now because expectations are so crazy high. But being like an actual server or a captain or a waiter, front of

[John Gabris]

house wait staff, that would be really hard.

[Evan Funke]

If one table just shits all over you and what they want out of the experience is to be an asshole, then they need to like click on and to the next table they have to be hi, how are you?

[Anne Harris]

Welcome.

[Evan Funke]

Like that Mental gymnastics is one of the most difficult things to achieve on a day in, day out basis. And nobody really talks about how punishing that is for people's psyche. They really don't.

[John Gabris]

Yeah. Well, I think waitstaff, beyond being underappreciated, there was this, this thought. I think it's changing a little bit now in America. But like, like the transient nature of like well, I'm just going to be in the front of the house until something else comes along. You know what I mean? Like I'm, and I'm a waiter now.

[Adam Pally]

It's like a career now.

[John Gabris]

It's a career as it should be. Cuz it's a huge part of the restaurant. If you have a good waiter, a good wait staff. It's like an enormously different thing than a weight stuff that doesn't give a.

[Adam Pally]

You don't see the chef, you don't see the sue, you don't see anyone else, you see your server.

[John Gabris]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

And if they are cool, they will go. That'll go away. That'll go. So you'll return experience.

[John Gabris]

Yeah, it goes. Adds to the food.

[Evan Funke]

Yeah, it's a. It's a. It's a massive part of the experience. And extremely lucky at all the restaurants to have extraordinary staff because we invest in the people that come to work with us.

[Adam Pally]

You know, you can tell when a server likes the restaurant they work at, and that means a lot. Yeah, I mean, like, that. That does some heavy lifting for your own emotions, where you're like, this guy. I love. You know, I love when they go, oh, that's my favorite. I'm like, I'm the best at the table.

[John Gabris]

I'm the waiter.

[Evan Funke]

That's like, well, if they. If they project confidence with knowledge and with feeling and they're actually genuine about it, it puts the guest at ease and be like, you know what? Be my shepherd. Yeah, be my shepherd. Whatever you like.

[Adam Pally]

Well, yeah, we're obsessed. We have a line, we say at every restaurant when, after we've ordered, we go. And if we have any glaring omissions, please, let's.

[John Gabris]

Or things that are not in season. Like, you know, I want to be told what they want me to go. Like, yeah, I know. The wait staff is like, you know,

[Evan Funke]

that is the best. And I. And I wish. I wish that more guests would trust a staff in guiding them in their experience because they, like, you don't need to be in control. Let us do the work for you. That's why we're here. But people control. They want to control it because it's just a thing. And if they would let go, they might be really, really pleased with the outcome.

[Adam Pally]

This is a superpower of ours. Like, I go in there, and I. Because I don't have, like, you say you're a guard. We're garbage people. We don't. I don't have a ton of preferences with food, so I'm never like, oh, wait, there's oregano in this. No, thanks. Like, none of that hits me. So when someone's like, do you have any food allergy? I'm like, nope, I don't give a. I trust every.

[Anne Harris]

Kill me.

[John Gabris]

Try to kill me.

[Adam Pally]

I'm like, I'm not. I'm not gonna pretend I know more than the guy who created this restaurant. So put whatever you want in front of me. I'm so stoked. I trust you. I'm gonna.

[John Gabris]

I agree.

[Adam Pally]

I might go like, well, you know what? My least favorite dish was the one with the stewed tomatoes, because I don't always love cooked tomatoes, and it's like, but I'm not gonna say, does this have cooked tomatoes in it? Don't bring it. Yeah, I'm.

[John Gabris]

Cause, like, there's a reason you're there, and it's to trust someone else to cook food for you. I never understood that when someone orders it and they're like, oh, I don't like this. It's like, well, too bad you ordered to eat it. Like, you know what I mean? Like, if you didn't want it, go cook it yourself. Go cook something yourself. Like, it's so insane to me that anyone would read a menu item and it would come. It's never happened to me before, and maybe it is because I'm a garbage person, but, like, I've never ordered something from a menu, and it came, and I am so shocked.

[Evan Funke]

I'm shocked. I'm shocked also when people table shop. Oh, maybe I'm gonna get myself in trouble with this. But, like, like, when people table shop, it's like, I've never done that in my whole life. Or like, I. I don't like this table. Can we sit someplace else?

[John Gabris]

Table shopping is so wild to me. The whole thing is. Is like, you're going there as an experience. You're.

[Anne Harris]

You're.

[Evan Funke]

You.

[John Gabris]

If you wanted to pick your table, sit at your table at home.

[Anne Harris]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

Like, you get to pick where that goes.

[John Gabris]

Part of it is getting a table in a different perspective than you thought you were going to be. That's the restaurant.

[Evan Funke]

That's. I mean, sometimes people want to see the kitchen. They want to be in it. They want to do all that.

[Adam Pally]

I. I don't want to sit next to heat lamps. That's my.

[John Gabris]

Yeah, but there's always, like, could you turn that. I mean, right. Yeah, there's never. I've never been in a situation, a restaurant, that. Where I. I. When I see, like, that kind of behavior, where I'm like, well, that's justified. Ever once have I ever been like, well, that person's like, it's always the person.

[Anne Harris]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

In my blanket, I'm always like, just put the ball on the floor and I'll be fine.

[John Gabris]

By the way, did Steph pay you for that night? Because I can't. I can't cover that.

[Evan Funke]

No, no comment. Okay, no comment.

[John Gabris]

I'll text him. But because I. I do not remember putting any money down. And if that bill is unpaid still, we need to get it taken care of, because it was a lot. How much was that bill?

[Anne Harris]

We're good.

[Evan Funke]

I have no idea.

[John Gabris]

Was that bill in the threes? No, three figures. Three.

[Evan Funke]

How many?

[Anne Harris]

Zeros.

[Evan Funke]

It's an expensive experience.

[John Gabris]

Okay. Because when. Because now that I'm remembering that I didn't put any money in, I'm having a bit of a heart attack.

[Evan Funke]

You might take that up with Steph Curry.

[John Gabris]

No, I think he'll cover me. I hope. Steph, will you cover me for Funky's restaurant?

[Adam Pally]

Steph, I know you're on your. Watching us on your iPad on. On YouTube right now.

[John Gabris]

Oh, Steph watches. He told me he does. I mean, he hasn't, like, picked.

[Evan Funke]

How did you guys come up with this podcast? Because it's kind of fun. Most podcasts. I don't really listen to a lot

[Adam Pally]

of podcasts for kind of fun.

[John Gabris]

All we want is kind of fun. That's.

[Adam Pally]

Your food is kind of good.

[Evan Funke]

Yeah, see, that's kind of good.

[John Gabris]

That's the best compliment you can give a podcast. Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

Kind of good. Is the ceiling.

[John Gabris]

That's five star review.

[Adam Pally]

Our bosses on Smart List make like nine figures a year. And they're just kind of good.

[John Gabris]

Yeah, they're just three kind of good white guys.

[Evan Funke]

We.

[John Gabris]

We hosted a travel show.

[Evan Funke]

Travel shows.

[John Gabris]

It was awesome.

[Adam Pally]

That was the best.

[John Gabris]

It was called 101 Places to Party before you die. And it was us going around to different cities and basically just like having a weekend where we would.

[Evan Funke]

Domestic cities or international?

[Adam Pally]

Domestic.

[John Gabris]

We didn't do international. We went to. We went to Hawaii, but. Which is domestic stick. But we. We would get there and we would just rage for. Yeah, that.

[Evan Funke]

I see where this is starting to take fun.

[Adam Pally]

And then that was what we did in our late 30s, early 40s, and now in our mid-40s, we're like, trying to stay alive, but also, to be

[John Gabris]

fair, to do that more, I was gonna say, but it's not. We're also not the type of people are like, oh, yeah. But now I don't. It's like, we still do that. So how do we stay alive? I mean, mean, this dude is working

[Evan Funke]

on Detox to retox.

[John Gabris]

This dude had like five margaritas and it wasn't in one stop yesterday,

[Commercial/Ad Voice]

you

[Adam Pally]

know, went in Dodger Stadium and before it and after it, back at your house.

[John Gabris]

Yeah, Yeah, I had sugarfish waiting. I had ordered it at the time I got off the plane so that the driver would hit the hotel at the same time I did. That's like.

[Evan Funke]

That's skill.

[John Gabris]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. I knew. I know. I knew the traffic.

[Adam Pally]

Is my room right?

[Evan Funke]

Ready?

[Adam Pally]

Is my sushi here?

[John Gabris]

Yeah, that's exactly what I Was like. And if there's an order with four sets of chopsticks, that's for room four.

[Adam Pally]

If there's a Nozawa, trust me, you're gonna die.

[John Gabris]

It's for me. Funky Plug Plug for us because you have television and books and all that stuff. But restaurants, where should we be going?

[Evan Funke]

So three restaurants in LA. Felix that opened in 2017. Best new restaurant in America. Esquire magazine, 2017.

[John Gabris]

Hell yeah.

[Evan Funke]

Team there is absolutely extraordinary. Felix is a total gym gem. It's on Abbot Kinney, Motherwolf, just down the street here on Wilcox.

[John Gabris]

That's the banger.

[Evan Funke]

It's a party. Always has been. Big, luxurious, straight Roman food.

[John Gabris]

Yeah. If me and Lindman are getting a reservation, that's our weekend reservation.

[Evan Funke]

I love that. I love that. And then funky in Beverly Hills, which is my three story extravaganza. Rooftop rooftop bar is a.

[John Gabris]

Is a Vibe number one recommendation. Anytime someone wants to. To like LA is it reminds me of like old la. She's.

[Evan Funke]

She's pretty.

[John Gabris]

Yeah. She's beautiful. And she's like kind of smoke, like, like smokey kind of like not in the way there's smoke, but it's like dark in a way. I love it. I love it.

[Evan Funke]

Yeah. It's, you know, three stories. When my partner, I, Kurt Rapaport, like walk to space for the first time, he's like, what do you think about doing a rooftop bar? I was like, while we're here, might as well do that. Obviously it added, you know, so much to the buildup, but like, it's such a unique space. People lose their minds when they go up there. It's so unique. You're eating the city and you're like so unique.

[John Gabris]

Yeah.

[Evan Funke]

And then so we got Motherwolf number two at the Fontainebleau in Vegas, which is also a party. I love the hotel.

[John Gabris]

Yeah, we just stayed at the Fountain Blue in Miami last week and it was a.

[Adam Pally]

We, we gotta go.

[Evan Funke]

Well, that's where the third Motherwolf is. It's in Design District.

[John Gabris]

Ah.

[Evan Funke]

And Motherwolf down there. So that's number three. Oh, and then I've got a Tuscan restaurant at the St. Regis in Chicago.

[John Gabris]

Really?

[Evan Funke]

Yeah, it's called Tri Dito.

[John Gabris]

Of course you do. That's what we ate in the winter.

[Evan Funke]

Dude.

[John Gabris]

Dude, that was.

[Evan Funke]

It's beautiful.

[John Gabris]

You know, we had to wait for the execs to come. Come for that. Did that. Did they tell you that?

[Adam Pally]

That.

[John Gabris]

That was the meal that.

[Evan Funke]

I hear it.

[John Gabris]

We wanted to go so bad during throwback. We were like, we're going, going. And then we had to wait for NBC to come because we were like, we can't afford this.

[Adam Pally]

Let's let mom and dad pay for this. Yeah.

[John Gabris]

We were like, I think mom can pick up the tab. Can mama corporate pick up the tab for this one?

[Anne Harris]

It was.

[John Gabris]

That was. That meal was crazy.

[Evan Funke]

Yeah. That again, I'm sorry.

[John Gabris]

Room.

[Evan Funke]

Incredible. Incredible.

[John Gabris]

The room there.

[Evan Funke]

It's incredible.

[John Gabris]

Showstopper.

[Evan Funke]

Showstopper. I mean, there's like seven or eight different types of marble in there. I mean, so it's a real, like, Fiorentina Tuscan restaurant. And it just made so much sense because Tuscans are really about beef. They have this like. And it was like, Chicago, Tuscany. Why not do it? So Tre dita means three fingers. So if you. Your bisteca Fiorentina is not three fingers thick, it's considered carpaccio.

[John Gabris]

That's what I. That's how I judge remote controls.

[Evan Funke]

I got.

[John Gabris]

I gotta be sure I can make this up my ass.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah. I was say three fingers is what I tell my masseuse.

[John Gabris]

Jesus. That's why I tell my bartender and

[Adam Pally]

my m. Three fingers of whiskey. And you know what to do.

[John Gabris]

And get that knot out. Out of my knot.

[Adam Pally]

Balloon knot.

[John Gabris]

Funky. Well, we've probably ruined your career and. No, but you're the best. You're the kindest and. And just I. Luckily enough, we've met a lot of. Of of the best chefs in the world for our job, and you are one of the nicest kind.

[Adam Pally]

Thanks for coming on.

[John Gabris]

And that goes such a long way because in both of our industries, the better you get, you tend to be more of an. And you are the opposite.

[Adam Pally]

So if you ever hear there's, like, some fat guy in Hawaiian shirt trying to pick a table in my restaurant.

[John Gabris]

Yeah. Just know ye be like, Gabriel's there.

[Evan Funke]

I love that.

[John Gabris]

But I'm funky. You're the best. Thank you so much.

[Evan Funke]

Thanks, man.

[John Gabris]

And this is.

[Evan Funke]

This. This is kind of fun.

[Adam Pally]

Good, I'm glad that's all we're asking for.

[Commercial/Ad Voice]

Get it?

[Adam Pally]

Kind of fun.

[Evan Funke]

No, this is like, I don't do a lot. I don't do a lot of podcasts because every time I do one, I get. I get in trouble because I'm a candid person. Gets me in trouble sometimes. But.

[Adam Pally]

Well, thank you for bringing that candidness. And don't worry, no one listens or watches.

[John Gabris]

Yeah. And if there is anything that you want to edit it out, we'll talk to Will Arnett. And see if he's listening, because we. We are. Thanks.

[Adam Pally]

I'm starving. We get canceled by Italians. Yeah.

[John Gabris]

We're the only people to offend the Italian culture the first time. We're like, wait a minute. Paulie Walnuts didn't do anything to you.

[Adam Pally]

But Paulie D. And Paulie Walnuts didn't do anything. None of the Paulies, Uncle Paulie. None of these Paulies got you, Paulie. Want a crack?

[John Gabris]

Not even a. Oh, sure. Pauly Shore.

[Adam Pally]

Okay. All right.

[John Gabris]

Take him. Well, I would trade the Italians. Pauly Shore. Honestly. Let me think for a second.

[Adam Pally]

I trade him for Bonito Mussolini.

[John Gabris]

I would take Mussolini.

[Adam Pally]

I would take Mussolini over.

[John Gabris]

I would take Mussolini.

[Adam Pally]

If you take Pauly Short, buddy.

[John Gabris]

The wiso. Stay alive.

[Adam Pally]

You have been listening to Staying Alive with John Gabris and Adam Pally. A Smartless Media production in association with Sirius xm.

[John Gabris]

Produced by Devin Tory Bryant and Anne Harris. Engineered and edited by Devin Tory Bryant, who also wrote the music.

[Adam Pally]

Associate producer and video producer is Maddie McCann. Social media producer Tommy Galgano.

[John Gabris]

Assistant engineer, Kyle McGraw. Special thanks to Jared O' Connell at Sirius XM.

[Adam Pally]

Executive producers are John Gabris.

[Anne Harris]

Ooh, me.

[Adam Pally]

Adam Pally. Ooh, you. Will Arnett, Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, Richard Corson, and Bernie Kaminski. Do us a favor. Just rate and review the podcast. It actually helps.

[John Gabris]

Just so everyone knows, we do not have a discord.

[Adam Pally]

Don't reach out to us.

[John Gabris]

See us on the street. Walk the other way or you'll catch hand. Have you done Teresi?

[Anne Harris]

Of course.

[Evan Funke]

I mean, those guys. Those guys are dead.

[John Gabris]

Reese put me in such a.

[Evan Funke]

He put you in the Hurt.

[John Gabris]

He put me in the Hurt Locker.

[Evan Funke]

Yeah.

[John Gabris]

He put me in the. He put.

[Evan Funke]

As he should. Because that's how I asked for it. That's how we show love.

[Commercial/Ad Voice]

Yeah.

[John Gabris]

Oh, and it was. It was a. It was a. Yeah.

[Evan Funke]

It's also the reason why I don't go to Chef Jordan restaurants, because they me. It's like, Avalanche. Oh, yeah, Avalanche.

[John Gabris]

I went with Fran Drescher.

[Evan Funke]

Oh, see?

[John Gabris]

And I. Fran's great, man.

[Evan Funke]

She comes to the restaurant.

[John Gabris]

I know the great. But I feel like they wanted reactions out of her, so they kept. So, like, they would be like, oh, my God, yes. They'd be like.

[Anne Harris]

And here.

[John Gabris]

And here's an. This is a. I know you didn't

[Adam Pally]

order it, but the chefs.

[John Gabris]

And she'd be like, oh, my God. And like, the whole restaurant would turn around and look at the nanny and me, you know, And I was like, hell, yeah. You know she played my mom and she acts like that so she was also like cleaning my face. It's a tough thing. Tough thing.

[Commercial/Ad Voice]

Smart.

[John Gabris]

Less media.

[Adam Pally]

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