Control The Hole (w/ Michelle Buteau)

Summary

Podcast Summary: Staying Alive – “Control The Hole” (w/ Michelle Buteau)

Podcast: Staying Alive with Jon Gabrus & Adam Pally
Episode: Control The Hole (w/ Michelle Buteau)
Host Network: SmartLess Media
Release Date: July 30, 2026
Guest: Michelle Buteau
Theme: Honest, comedic real talk about health, wellness, parenthood, showbiz, and the wild ride of “staying alive” (literally and figuratively) in body, career, and spirit.

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Episode Overview

Comedians and lifelong friends Jon Gabrus and Adam Pally sit down with the irrepressible Michelle Buteau, acclaimed stand-up, actress, creator, and star of "Survival of the Thickest." They dive into the chaos of comedy life, balancing personal wellness, therapy, parenting, body image, and showbiz authenticity—all while keeping things hilarious, raw, and weird.

Michelle, in the middle of a press whirlwind, unpacks her journey, the weirdness of work/life balance, and her insights on therapy, self-worth, and the pitfalls of "crowd work comedy." It’s both a behind-the-scenes of survival in entertainment and a spirited conversation among friends, full of memorable one-liners and genuine vulnerability.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Health Rituals: The Struggle is Real

• Gabrus and Pally trade stories about running while hungover, confusing their bodies with “drugs, alcohol, food, and the gym” (01:41).
• Michelle admits, “It really feels like hot steaming garbage inside sometimes...” but credits her kids as her grounding “little crystals with curly hair” (08:31).
• Both hosts and Michelle discuss the challenge of feeling good, breaking habits, and the weirdness of adult wellness routines.

2. Parenthood & Career: Comedy as Grounding—and a Test

• Michelle on the child/caretaker divide among comedians:
  • “There really is two types of comedians…you are either the child or the caretaker in comedy. Fight me, bitch.” (09:30)
• “As long as I’m present in the time I’m with them… I do feel guilty a lot. But then like, I’m like, what a wasted emotion. Because there’s money in the account. We get to go on fun vacations.” (16:33, Michelle)
• The trio gets honest about guilt, energy, parenting, and what makes happiness:
  • “I do not define my worth in the job that I have.” (14:52, Michelle)

3. Mental Health: Therapy Isn't Taboo, It's Brain Gym

• Michelle is a proud twice-weekly therapy goer, plus couples therapy:
  • “If I said I go to the gym twice a week, you’d be like, that’s not a lot. But if I go to therapy twice a week, that's a lot. ... Sometimes you just have to—you want to get to it before it gets so bad you don’t even know how to take care of it.” (24:52–25:45)
• Adam: “We call therapy brain gym here.” (25:29)
• All bemoan how mental health is stigmatized and expensive, and how America lacks access to basic wellness services.
• Michelle: “Once you take the shame out of it and help people and… have access to, not only healthcare, but like, the knowledge… we’d be a better place.” (26:22–27:06)

4. Showbiz, Authenticity, and the Rise of “Crowd Work” Comedy

• Michelle laments the loss of authenticity in “algorithm-driven,” network-noted content:
  • “I miss when people actually stood 10 toes down for something and they actually were very authentic. … I want to see something that you fought for. I don’t care if it's three minutes or three hours.” (52:18)
• Sharp critique on the current trend of comedians relying on crowd work (“comedy without conviction”):
  • “Nobody wanted to do crowd work… Now everybody relies on crowd work just to get, like, that little pop for the Internet to sell their tickets.” (56:24–57:21)
• Pally: “It’s like, the audience is now part of the show and that’s not what I signed up for.” (57:39)

5. Physical Health: Training, Spa Days, and Food

• Michelle’s health routine includes both therapy and working out with a personal trainer (“I love a full body situation,” 31:11), plus spa days as an investment in self-care ("A $350 massage ends up saving you like a thousand dollars if you look at it like that," 33:37).
• The group has a running riff on spas, massages, and bathroom mishaps during treatments, sprinkling the conversation with comic relief.

6. Work/Life Lessons

• On defining success:
  • “Everyone that I've ever been in an interview with has always asked me, like, when do you feel like you've made it? ... It is the moment I stepped on stage, September 14, 2001.” (19:29)
• Michelle on boundaries and relationships:
  • “Now I can pick and choose who I get to be in a room with, to work with and not find out (the bad way)... You are the company you keep. That's also how I maintain this physique." (29:32)
• “We weren’t born to suffer.” (50:40, Michelle quoting her producer)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Comedy & Caretaking:

  • “There really is two types of comedians out… you are either the child or the caretaker in comedy. Fight me, bitch.”
    — Michelle Buteau (09:30)

• On Mental Health:

  • “If I said I go to the gym twice a week, you’d be like, that’s not a lot. But if I go to therapy twice a week, that's a lot.”
    — Michelle Buteau (24:52)

• On Parenting and Work:

  • “I do not define my worth in the job that I have… You’re only in competition with yourself, period.”
    — Michelle Buteau (14:52, 15:35)

• On Authenticity in Content:

  • “I miss the authenticity in content right now... I want to see something that you fought for… I am gonna need to take a break...”
    — Michelle Buteau (52:23)

• On Crowd Work Comedy (and its pitfalls):

  • “Crowd work is… comedy without conviction.”
    — John Gabrus (56:04)

• On Therapy:

  • “We call therapy brain gym here.”
    — Adam Pally (25:29)

• On Aging:

  • “Aging is also a gift, right?”
    — Michelle Buteau (60:06)

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Key Timestamps for Important Segments

• Wellness routines & hungover running: 00:11–02:21
• Welcoming Michelle, air travel rants: 03:09–06:10
• Comedy, caretaker/child dichotomy: 09:30–10:48
• On parenting, guilt, and worth: 14:52–17:22
• Therapy and destigmatizing mental health: 24:25–27:06
• Michelle’s physical/wellness routines: 31:05–36:40
• Work/life, showbiz lessons, “made it” moment: 19:29–21:17
• The authenticity rant & AI content complaints: 52:15–53:12
• Crowd work and modern comedy woes: 56:04–58:51
• Plugging “Survival of the Thickest” and spa movie: 60:10–60:47

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Guest Projects & Plugs

• Survival of the Thickest (Season 3, Netflix) — Final season out now
• Spa Weekend (movie) — Out August 21, 2026, in theaters
• Upcoming: Michelle filming a new Netflix special in Amsterdam (Nov 28, 2026)

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Extra Fun (and Running Gags)

• Comic bits about travel, hotels, and luggage
• Recurring joke: “Control the hole” as a metaphor for society’s treatment of women (28:06)
• Stories about “the best year for your dick” and body image (38:48)
• Anecdotes about Family Feud with Steve Harvey (43:01)
• Jokes about crowd work, clowns, and “lion tamer” comics (52:15–58:30)
• Super fast riffing and “testing new material” in front of Michelle (“Am I here so you could test out material?” — Michelle, 40:26)

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Tone & Takeaway

The tone is raucous, self-aware, acerbic, and unguarded. All three comedians toggle smoothly between hard truths (mental health stigma, work-life balance, societal pressure) and sharp-edged, sometimes raunchy jokes, making the episode feel like a late night hangout full of wild improv but also hard-won wisdom.

Michelle Buteau’s presence elevates the self-care conversation—self-acceptance, therapy as maintenance, and fighting for authenticity in a world pushing fakeness. She leaves us with the feeling that staying alive, whether as a creative, a parent, or a person, is about radical self-kindness, humor, and only competing with the person you were yesterday.

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Summary Table

| Topic | Key Moments / Quotes | |---------------------------|--------------------------------------------------------------| | Wellness Habits | “Therapy twice a week… taking shame out of needing help” (24:52) | | Parenting & Guilt | “I do feel guilty a lot. But what a wasted emotion.” (16:33) | | Comedy’s Two Types | “You are either the child or the caretaker in comedy.” (09:30) | | Authentic Content | “I miss authenticity...want to see what you fought for” (52:18) | | Showbiz Complaints | “Nobody wanted to do crowd work...Now everybody relies on crowd work.” (56:24) | | Body/Therapy Talk | “Full body situation” (31:11); "Aging is...a gift" (60:06) |

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Final Word: This episode is a must-listen for anyone interested in the intersection of comedy, real talk wellness, and the quest for self-worth amid chaos. Come for the laughs; stay for the hard-won perspective.

Transcript

[Announcer]

Smart.

[Michelle Buteau]

Last me.

[John Gabrus]

Welcome to New York.

[Adam Pally]

Thank you for having me in your lovely city. I love to come here. And I.

[John Gabrus]

What a time of year.

[Adam Pally]

Just came from the lake. I was upstate on a lake with a friend of the podcast, Justin Tyler, and I ran. I was there for five days. I ran for four of them. That is hungover every day, but I did it.

[John Gabrus]

I've never run not hungover. I don't know what that's like,

[Adam Pally]

Dude. I feel great.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

I feel like I didn't absolutely destroy my life.

[John Gabrus]

I'm a broken record at this point, but you look amazing.

[Adam Pally]

Thank you, buddy. I could not hear it enough.

[John Gabrus]

Don't.

[Adam Pally]

Don't stress about saying that.

[John Gabrus]

No. And I told you this morning, our. Our mutual. Our trainer, Addie, another friend of the podcast, was training Daniela and was being effusive with praise about how you look and how your effort.

[Adam Pally]

Hell, yeah. Addie's the best. What about you? How's your run game going?

[John Gabrus]

My run game is strong. My run game is strong. I run. Ran with a weighted vest a couple of times, which is. I felt good about it. I'm not sure if it's doing much extra, but making me sore. Like, I don't know if I feel like when I. I can't tell. I've done it enough now. Like a week where I, like, I can't tell if, like, when I take it off, I'm like, oh. Like, I don't really know. Right. Because it is. It is making it harder. I don't.

[Adam Pally]

Honestly, that's objectively.

[John Gabrus]

Objectively harder.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[John Gabrus]

I don't run as well.

[Adam Pally]

You don't know if it's like, the trade off of, like, I'm running less, but I am weighted. Like, does that. It's probably just good to keep it mixed up. Yeah. I think it's body confusion.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah. Just to change it up. But I'm.

[Adam Pally]

But I keep my body confused at all times because sometimes I just fill it up with drugs and alcohol and food, and then sometimes I go to the gym and the sauna.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah. And my body does not know what it's like, is this a Tuesday or a Saturday or a Sunday morning?

[Adam Pally]

What time is it? He just ate a pound and a half of gabagool. It could be 8:00am it could be 8.

[John Gabrus]

It could be 3:00am yeah. You know? Yeah. I keep the body, but, no, I feel good. I. I have had three nights in a row no alcohol, which is nice. Whoa. And. And so I'm like, I'm feeling good, but I'm Gonna break that tonight because I'm going out to dinner for my cousin's birthday and I'm getting, I'm getting. Hell yeah. I already got my eye on. On a Uber home.

[Adam Pally]

I got like, I need to do three days off. I need to do like 30 days off.

[John Gabrus]

But we're going to Vegas.

[Adam Pally]

We're going to Vegas. Yes. But before we go to Vegas, we have a great interview here today. We got Michelle Buteau on the pod on a whirlwind press tour. But making her. Making an effort to stop here.

[John Gabrus]

She will regret it instantly.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah. Almost instantly.

[John Gabrus]

Instantly. The most accomplished for one of the most accomplished artists we've ever had on the pod.

[Adam Pally]

I know. I've been watching her do stand up for like 20 years. Well, you know.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

I've been watching her be an absolute

[John Gabrus]

crusher for from the moment. Feels like from the moment she started.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[John Gabrus]

And we're going to try out some new material in front of her.

[Adam Pally]

Without further ado, Michelle,

[Michelle Buteau]

Why are we paying for luggage when we've already paid for the ticket? Like, I'm still like, that makes sense.

[Announcer]

Yeah.

[John Gabrus]

Because you're like, well, if that's not where the luggage goes.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah.

[John Gabrus]

Then you should have seats down there.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah. Yes.

[John Gabrus]

Because I paid for it. And there's. I know the plane continues.

[Michelle Buteau]

I paid for all of that. Yes.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah. Didn't I pay for the.

[Adam Pally]

It's such a like dumb stand up bit about. But like when you bring luggage to an airport and they look at you like, are you serious with this?

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

And like how much does this weigh? Get on the thing.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

You can't bring that on the plane. It's like, it's like how other people travel.

[Michelle Buteau]

But you know what? That is exactly how every girl feels from 11 or 12 on you go. People are like, what is this? How much does it weigh? Sure. Can it fit? Do you know what I mean? Can you fit in the middle of seat?

[John Gabrus]

Sure.

[Michelle Buteau]

Like it's fat. Shaming your luggage.

[John Gabrus]

Yes, completely.

[Michelle Buteau]

All of it's fucking gross.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah. Even hotels. Hotels. It's like, I mean it's again, it's like a tried and true bit, but it's like you can't check in till the evening.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah.

[John Gabrus]

But you have to check out in the early morning and be charged full days on those for 19 hours or

[Adam Pally]

18 hours actually legally allowed in the room.

[John Gabrus]

But yeah, but like, and if you get there before, like h have like the amount of times I've gotten to a hotel early and been like, hey, I know. Check INS at 3. I'm here at noon. Like, I just got on a red eye. Like, is there any chance my room

[Michelle Buteau]

is for the red eye?

[John Gabrus]

It's like, no. Like, are you, are you kidding me?

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah. They're like, why would you do that? And that's when I cry.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah, I know.

[Michelle Buteau]

That's when I, I, I gently weep. And I'm like, I don't want your bottle of water.

[John Gabrus]

No, you know, the bottle of water.

[Adam Pally]

I'll sit in this lobby and turn and get customers to turn away if one. Oh my gosh, that is such a fudgeing specific feeling is when you are stranded without a hotel that you've paid for and you're just there too early or your flight's too late. You're like, yeah, oh, I'll put my luggage in the lobby and then go about my day and then come back and get it because I can't have the room till 6. I have to get out at 11.

[John Gabrus]

I had that Austin. I had a flight from Auckland to Austin. No, got to Austin.

[Michelle Buteau]

Too many hemispheres.

[John Gabrus]

Too many hemispheres. The room was not ready. And they're like, can you go take a walk? I was, what?

[Michelle Buteau]

A walkabout?

[John Gabrus]

I was like, what? No, a walk.

[Adam Pally]

I just walked.

[John Gabrus]

I was like walking through a haze of heat and like not knowing with like rolling a suitcase.

[Michelle Buteau]

And that shit turns me into a Karen. I turn to like a very. But I don't have, like enough. Like, I don't have the bandwidth to be like Aaron Brockovich. But I definitely try to advocate for myself because I'm just like, how would you feel, you know, if you had 7 year old twins back that freckles these 11 things to do and also took a flight, which is basically a traveling toilet seat. Excuse me. The only thing I want to do is take my outside clothes off. Okay, you want to take them off and lay down.

[John Gabrus]

You know, we should. There should be a name for it. That's not Karen. It should be Aaron. The Aaron Brock. Don't make me turn to an Aaron Brock, which is like using my Karen for good.

[Michelle Buteau]

Oh, it's the Aaron.

[John Gabrus]

Not the Karen Aaron.

[Michelle Buteau]

I just got that.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah, it's.

[Michelle Buteau]

Sorry.

[John Gabrus]

Much better.

[Adam Pally]

It's so disheartening when you get to a hotel and there's anything wrong with it and you're like, come on. Like, I got to ask. I got to now sit around, wait till a guy comes up here and makes the air conditioner work. You know what I mean?

[Michelle Buteau]

So that's the same with the flight. And you're like, is this just a sticker? Are we all waiting around for a sticker? Yeah, like they'll never tell you. You'll never know.

[John Gabrus]

Oh my God, you'll never know. I also hate the, the people that check. Like there's like always it's usually older white men that are, that look like

[Michelle Buteau]

that are the problem.

[John Gabrus]

That are the problem in America. It looks like the eagle on the Muppets. Remember that one? Like Sam the eagle. They all look like that. And they all peer over your shoulder at your boarding pass to make sure to were in the zone that is loading. Even though they're in zone.

[Michelle Buteau]

It's five. But it's in their DNA.

[Announcer]

DNA.

[Michelle Buteau]

They can't help it. This is how, that's how America was built in the DNA.

[John Gabrus]

But they're like, they walk up behind you.

[Michelle Buteau]

I know.

[John Gabrus]

Just checking. I'm just making sure because.

[Adam Pally]

And you're like, yeah, there's nothing I love more than being in fucking hoochie daddy shorts and a tie dye T shirt, hat and sunglasses and then boarding with the first class people to go sit.

[Michelle Buteau]

I love it.

[Adam Pally]

And I'm like, sorry, this fat fucking slob is amongst you. Deal with me.

[Michelle Buteau]

I love it. Everyone's like, jack Black's such an asshole.

[John Gabrus]

No, they're like, jack Black was crying in my. He's hysterical crying.

[Adam Pally]

Jack Black watched a movie on his iPad and cried so loud he woke the flight up.

[Michelle Buteau]

Wow, you're still drinking soda?

[John Gabrus]

Yeah, it's Zevia Creamy Root Beer.

[Michelle Buteau]

Isn't soda full of sugar and vag?

[John Gabrus]

Nah, zevi doesn't have sugar or fake like other sodas.

[Michelle Buteau]

Okay, but does it taste like.

[John Gabrus]

Here, try one.

[Michelle Buteau]

Oh, this is delicious.

[John Gabrus]

Told ya. Zevia. It's soda made better.

[Michelle Buteau]

No.

[John Gabrus]

Find Zevia Creamy Root beer, Orange creamsicle and more flavors at your local grocery store. So how are you holding up? What are you doing to stay alive? What are you doing to like, look and be like the most amazing ray of sunshine?

[Michelle Buteau]

Oh my God. Wow. I don't know. I don't know. It's so funny. It really feels like hot seaming garbage inside sometimes. But you know, I feel like my kids are like little crystals with curly hair. Like they ground me in a way where I'm like, oh, nothing else matters.

[John Gabrus]

Do you do crystal work though?

[Michelle Buteau]

No. Well, I have crystals in my house. But like, you do.

[John Gabrus]

But do they, Are they specific or are they just.

[Adam Pally]

You charge them in the full moon and I do.

[Michelle Buteau]

I have like a little beach in my backyard and I go and like Wash them in the water. Yes. Beyonce told me to. Yes.

[John Gabrus]

Okay. All right, so we're charging formation. Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

How old are the twins?

[Michelle Buteau]

Seven. Whoa. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a lot. I'm running a daycare. Thank you.

[Announcer]

I appreciate it.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, we already said you look amazing. Then you sell 7 year olds. I was like, yeah, you look.

[John Gabrus]

Look really nice.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah. But I have to say, like, years and years of comedy really has helped me because I'm, as I look back, the 25 years of comedy and the friends that I've had and the friends that I still have and, like, even the comedians that started with me and, like, stopped and, like, all those different types of friendships and comedy. There really is two types of comedians out, like, off the stage and that. And you are either the child or the caretaker in comedy. You know, fight me, fight me, bitch. It is what it is.

[John Gabrus]

I would love to hear. Because when you said two types, immediately I was like, which type am I and which type is Gabriel? She mean the child and the. Obviously I'm the child.

[Adam Pally]

I'm not a character.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah. We're orphans.

[Adam Pally]

And when your comedy partnership is two children, you need a producer like Anne to make sure anything happens.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah, we would be nowhere.

[Michelle Buteau]

Annie Hay's the best. That's her nickname. Annie Hay.

[Adam Pally]

Oh, wait, we have a new nickname for Anne Hay.

[John Gabrus]

Annie Hay. Annie Hay is the best in the biz.

[Adam Pally]

Annie Hay.

[John Gabrus]

We're going to Vegas next week. Or there.

[Michelle Buteau]

Oh, my God. You're gonna have the best. I'm only here doing this podcast because I hurt, not because of you guys.

[John Gabrus]

We know that every guest.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah. We lean on.

[John Gabrus]

We know why. We know why it's not us.

[Adam Pally]

Well, it's also a perfect partnership for us working with Anne because it's like, Ann, do you know this stand up comic from New York from 20 years ago? She's like, of course I do. And I'm like, yeah. And of course they're our friends and

[John Gabrus]

we like to book them all.

[Adam Pally]

Been around. Still here.

[Michelle Buteau]

No, I would just love to, like, pour into her for 2.2 seconds because it was so, like, starting comedy 25 years ago where, like, a lot of shit was going down 25 years ago that was just, like, accepted and okay. We don't have to name names. We don't have to talk about.

[John Gabrus]

It's just accepted and okay, you know,

[Michelle Buteau]

terrorism, all types of terrorism.

[John Gabrus]

We at war with ourselves. We at war with religion.

[Announcer]

Yes.

[Michelle Buteau]

I was at war with my tummy.

[John Gabrus]

Jesus Walks intro. It's a Jesus Walks intro.

[Michelle Buteau]

Like lactose There was no. There was no oat milk latte. I was just farting all over everybody.

[John Gabrus]

Oh my God.

[Michelle Buteau]

And I remember, you know, I remember there was no Covid. We were just like really raw doggin every microphone. One time at Comics, my. The microphone hit my mouth and I was like, ew. While I was hosting. And I was like, that was weird. And I brought the next comic up and when I went back into the green room, there was like a piece of rice on my lip. Are you okay?

[John Gabrus]

Oh, God.

[Michelle Buteau]

All this to say we've been through a lot of. And worse. But meeting someone like an. Like a real person who understands what it's like. Just what it's like.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[Michelle Buteau]

And how people should be treated and want to be treated also, like, has phenomenal taste in comedy. Was like such a gift.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah. It's two things that rarely overlap. It.

[John Gabrus]

It's rare to have a producer see you for your talent sometimes that you don't even see.

[Michelle Buteau]

Oh, wow.

[John Gabrus]

And then on top of that, also be sympathetic.

[Adam Pally]

Anti. Stop.

[Michelle Buteau]

But now we're not going to stop it.

[John Gabrus]

But the other thing I was gonna say is also be sympathetic to the artist. That is the. That's the dance of like the perfect producer. And she does it better than.

[Michelle Buteau]

She's not interested in algorithms or how many followers you have or don't have. It's like, obviously.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah, clearly. Look who's here.

[Adam Pally]

You know what? Just in interest.

[John Gabrus]

Timu Paul Rudd and Jack Black.

[Adam Pally]

Just in interest of. Yeah, Timu Anaconda.

[Michelle Buteau]

Wait, does that make me Tandaway Newton?

[John Gabrus]

Oh, you're Temu Tandooine.

[Michelle Buteau]

Tandoon Newton let herself go. You're Paul Rudd let himself go.

[Adam Pally]

I'm Jack Black in a before picture.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah.

[Michelle Buteau]

No, I don't want to Jack Black like that. But, you know, he gets it.

[John Gabrus]

Meanwhile, the worst thing too is that if Paul Rudd saw this, he'd be

[Adam Pally]

like, nah, I don't see it.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

In interest of like, fairness on the podcast. I hate an.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah. Just so levels down.

[Adam Pally]

Bad mouth this bitch.

[John Gabrus]

Go back real quick, cuz like, I really want to know about the child. The child and the caretaker of comedians.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah. I mean, like, if.

[Adam Pally]

Which one are you?

[Michelle Buteau]

Obviously I have shoulder pads on and like a white shirt. Like. Yeah, yeah.

[John Gabrus]

But I've also hung out with you on like a long shoot. You're. You're goofy.

[Michelle Buteau]

I'm good. I'm fine. Yeah, I'm fine. But like, you know, we gotta get stuff done.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah, I know. Yeah. You know, but you're a Goofball.

[Michelle Buteau]

Of course.

[Adam Pally]

I know.

[John Gabrus]

You can be both. I guess you could be both, right? Maybe I am more of a.

[Adam Pally]

Because there's probably serious children as well.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yes.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah. They're the worst. No one wants a serious child. I know my kids. I'm like, you're taking this way too seriously.

[Michelle Buteau]

I know it's like a very like, cute. Like a thing that happens when kids try to do an adult thing. But, like, adults do a kid thing in a sense. Like where I'm at right now because I do comedy and my kids are like, learning how to read. Like, you're never going to use it.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah. It's like, don't worry about it.

[Adam Pally]

I've never needed it.

[Michelle Buteau]

Math, I don't know. That's your dad.

[Adam Pally]

That's your dad. So now we're running back to other things. You told. You said your kids are your crystals. Explain. Explain that a little to us.

[Michelle Buteau]

Like, no matter what's happening in the world, like legit, like, like road rage or like just whatever has happened to me in my day.

[Adam Pally]

Bad studio notes. Bad.

[Michelle Buteau]

Like whatever the it is. I'm just like, there's them and. And they're the most important thing. And who cares what the. I've been going through?

[Adam Pally]

Like, all your problems seem small. Like real.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

Priorities.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yes. Like, their happiness is the only thing that matters.

[Adam Pally]

And their happiness is not impedent on, like, whether you book this thing or not.

[Michelle Buteau]

My happiness, never.

[Adam Pally]

That's what I mean.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yes. Theirs and my. My happiness never. I do not define my worth in the job that I have.

[Adam Pally]

We were just talking about this ever. We were just talking about how we have that problem.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah, no, because then you're giving somebody else the power. And I never, never, never want to do that. And I learned that probably as a woman dating really terrible people that I was like, are you the one? And I was like, doing it because everyone told me I needed to, but I was like, I don't like this. I'm not gonna put my worth in somebody else's fucking basket. It's mine.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[Michelle Buteau]

So, yeah.

[Adam Pally]

That is maybe the only way I can get myself out of the headspace. That work isn't like, is my validation because I'm. You can get me angry at the. I also now it's up to Viacom or Paramount or whatever. They don't be happy.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah. You know what they don't know? That's somebody's assistant from 30 years ago that stayed with it. And good for you. You held in toy. You know what I mean? You held in tight. But it's not up to them. It never was. It's always up to us. I always say you're only in competition with yourself, like, period. So, no, no.

[Adam Pally]

You are a caretaker.

[Announcer]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

You just took care of us.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

You just took care of me.

[John Gabrus]

Can I ask you a question about how do you guilt, like, sometimes my, like, drive to, to do the work, there will be like this double edged sword where you're like, I'm taking care of them, but I'm taken away from them.

[Michelle Buteau]

And what do you mean?

[John Gabrus]

My energy, my focus. You know what I mean? It's like your kids with my kids.

[Michelle Buteau]

Okay.

[John Gabrus]

It's being like actors.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah.

[John Gabrus]

No, it's being like taken away from the kids. It's like, now this. If I'm making a show, it's like, now that's. People say it's my baby. It's like, it is. It's another thing. So, like, do you ever feel compromised in that way? I mean, I'm sure we all do, but, like, how do you fight that?

[Michelle Buteau]

I don't think you do.

[John Gabrus]

You just accept it.

[Michelle Buteau]

You just have to be where you are.

[John Gabrus]

Right.

[Michelle Buteau]

Because I've missed like, the first, like, of many, but I had a friend tell me a long time ago, the only time it matters is when you see it and you're there. Like, as long as I'm present in the time that I'm with them. Because I could, I could be on my phone all fucking day when I'm with them, but I'm not. I'm in their shit. And they're like, could you get away from me? I'm like, I could. You know what I mean? And so, yeah, I do. I. I do feel guilty a lot. But then like, I'm like, what a wasted emotion. Because there's money in the account. We get to go on fun vacations. We have like fun hookups at Disney. Like, it's still dope. So I'm like, I have to like, knock that out of my head. But that's like, also very real because. But you can't be in two places at one. And someone's got to make money.

[Adam Pally]

I also, I heard from someone, one time childless person weighing in on other people's parenting.

[Michelle Buteau]

Thank you for that. Thank you for the info.

[Adam Pally]

I'll explain racism in a minute.

[Michelle Buteau]

Can't wait.

[Adam Pally]

Based on my test.

[Michelle Buteau]

Never heard. Oh boy, I love Kate Fear.

[Adam Pally]

I feel like I'm on the back to parenting. The idea that, like, yes, it's hard to be away from your Kid. But with the kid's memory, it'll be, my parent did this awesome thing.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yes.

[Adam Pally]

And, you know, it'll be like, I heard someone one time say, I feel like I need to leave my job because I'm not spending any time around the kids. It's like, well, then you won't be yourself.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

At home with your kids.

[Michelle Buteau]

And you don't know that till you know. Right. And that is, like, part of legacy. Like, you don't know till you know. And sometimes you are not around to even understand how much they appreciate you. And I asked Melissa Rivers about Joan, and I was like, how did it feel like, how did it feel like, to not only hear jokes about you, but this is her life's work? And she was like, she formed me. She shaped me. And every time I wasn't comfortable with a joke, she was like, it's. It's the family business. And, like, thank God for her. And I'm like, okay, so, you know,

[Adam Pally]

yeah, if you owned a rug store, you'd make your kids work, like, 16.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah, my kids have looked up a lot of footage of me badmouthing them.

[Announcer]

And.

[Adam Pally]

And then also the comments.

[John Gabrus]

And then. And then recently found out I was a comedian because I like to tape. I like to. No, no, I take my therapy. No, no, they. No, they're just like, I've done bits in the past about how, you know. Like, you know, three mistakes or whatever, but. And it's like, the same thing. It's like, family business.

[Michelle Buteau]

Three mistakes.

[John Gabrus]

I've made three mistakes. Like, major mistakes in my life. Four if you count getting married.

[Adam Pally]

He has three kids now. Do you feel like you're on the View again?

[Michelle Buteau]

So what's the mistake?

[John Gabrus]

Like, what view were you thinking you were on? I don't know what View that was.

[Michelle Buteau]

I don't even know what this podcast is about.

[Adam Pally]

BET's comic view you.

[Michelle Buteau]

Oh, perfect. Perfect.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah. It's another thing that they have now.

[Michelle Buteau]

I was hoping this comics unleashed the hot chocolate edition, but. Oh, well. Oh, well. I wear this outfit tomorrow. What I also like to do is everyone that I've ever been in an interview with has always asked me, like, when do you feel like you've made it and it isn't a job or a paycheck or a person. It is the moment I stepped on stage. September 14, 2001, at Stand Up New

[John Gabrus]

York, and close to September 11.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yes.

[Announcer]

Holy.

[Adam Pally]

Three days after you were like, permission to laugh again?

[John Gabrus]

Here I am.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, go.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah.

[John Gabrus]

I mean, tell you what's funny about

[Michelle Buteau]

That I was a news editor and I was editing.

[John Gabrus]

Wow.

[Michelle Buteau]

The most horrific. And for months, people were like, you should be a comedian. And I'm like, that's stupid. Comedians. Sounds sad. And broke.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah, it's.

[Adam Pally]

It's crazy. I'm trying to imagine you not as a comedian. And it's very hard.

[Michelle Buteau]

It's. It's always. It's always been this in a blazer.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[Michelle Buteau]

So, yeah.

[John Gabrus]

No matter what, you know, the blazer doesn't change.

[Adam Pally]

You know, she's coming in power shoulders, power colors.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

Up the cuff, ready to rip.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah. Carly Simon playing behind you. No matter what, there's a good job, a strong job. Just, like, interesting to. To have that feeling that was your first. The first time on stage. Because it's like, that is the moment.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah.

[John Gabrus]

Where you're like, well, now this is who I am. And I've done that.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yes.

[John Gabrus]

And that's especially coming from, like, a real job.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah. Yes. A real job with real money. So I just did both for a long time because my parents from the Caribbean were like, don't not make money.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah.

[Michelle Buteau]

Because you, like, love to make people laugh. That's insane. And my mom was scared when I started comedy. She's like, you're gonna get addicted to drugs. Like, everyone does drugs and they die. I'm like, this isn't like SNL in the 70s, sis. Like, I'm literally working for a drink.

[Adam Pally]

You don't have the money for drugs.

[John Gabrus]

You know what I mean? Those drugs are expensive.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah. I don't even have a seat. Does someone have a cat in here?

[John Gabrus]

A cat?

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah. No. Okay, I'm getting a wolf of a hairy puss. Maybe it's mine. Maybe it's yours.

[John Gabrus]

I.

[Adam Pally]

My bush is popping.

[Michelle Buteau]

I can.

[Adam Pally]

The summer of bush.

[Michelle Buteau]

I can see. This is like 4DHD. I'm just kidding. I don't know.

[Adam Pally]

Bush v. Gore. Ew.

[John Gabrus]

Ew.

[Michelle Buteau]

I. I don't know.

[John Gabrus]

That's the worst caption. Porn parody.

[Michelle Buteau]

I don't know.

[John Gabrus]

A morning walk, some bird watching. It's another easy Sunday. UnitedHealth Group makes these ordinary days possible with partners like the University of Tennessee Health Sciences helping communities manage their health closer to home. 54% of participants have lowered their blood pressure, meaning fewer heart attacks and more Sundays at the park. This might be feel like an ordinary day to UnitedHealth Group. It's the healthcare system working better for everyone. Learn [e-mail] commitment.

[Announcer]

This podcast is supported by Nurtech ODT Remedyapant. We know you didn't ask for an interruption. But migraine doesn't wait for the right moment to interrupt either. It just barges in, takes your time and throws everything off. So when migraine takes your time, take Nurtax. It's for the acute treatment of migraine with or without aura. In adults, Nurtec can provide pain relief in two hours, which can last up to two days. Ask your healthcare provider if Nirtech is right for you because your time is for you, not migraine. Don't take if allergic to Nyrtec odt. Allergic reactions can occur even days after use. Get help right away for trouble breathing, rash, swelling of face, mouth, tongue or throat. High blood pressure and Raynaud syndrome can occur. Get help for high blood pressure, numbness, coolness, pain or color changes in fingers and toes. Common side effect is nausea. For full prescribing information, call 1-833-4NYRTAC or visit nurtec.com alright, back to your podcast, playlist or whatever's keeping you going today. Okay, imagine this. A honeybee is out here doing her thing in an orchard, lands on a mystery apple blossom, then carries that pollen over to a honeycrisp tree. Fast forward a few months and no exaggeration, something amazing is born. The Sugar Bee Apple. Packed with notes of honey, caramel and molasses, plus an extra crisp crunch. Sugar Bee apples are perfect for snacking, baking and everything in between. Download our new free recipe book and find a store near [e-mail] Naturally Sweet from B2U

[Adam Pally]

Michelle do you do anything in particular for your health? Now, as you've been in this business for a long time, you've been where grown ups, you're a parent, you're doing anything for your health these days, mental or physical or stuff you can't miss.

[Michelle Buteau]

Like, oh my God, of course. That's like the when people are like, how do you relax? I'm like, I love to book appointments for me. So therapy twice a week.

[John Gabrus]

Twice a week it is. I think twice a week is like yeah, well it's me.

[Michelle Buteau]

And then couples.

[Adam Pally]

Okay. That is, that is also we just sat here and said like 12 times. How well adjusted.

[John Gabrus]

And like.

[Adam Pally]

And you're like, oh, therapy twice a week.

[Michelle Buteau]

She's crazy.

[John Gabrus]

No, I. No, no. Therapy twice a week. The way you, I think couples.

[Michelle Buteau]

When I have time for it twice, you'll do twice when I have time for it absolutely. Twice a week. And I say twice a week because if I could do twice a week, even I don't know why, for me I'm Just like, why are we putting. If I said I go to the gym twice a week, you'd be like, that's not a lot. But if I go to therapy twice a week, that's a lot. And so you're right. There's this thing about, like, if you. If I worked out seven days a week, you guys be like, good for you. Not you. But, like, people will be like, good for you.

[Announcer]

Yeah.

[Michelle Buteau]

But if I say I'm taking care of my mental health, everyone's like, are you okay? And it's like, sometimes you're not okay, and that's okay. And a lot of times you just have to. You want to get to it before it gets so bad you don't even know how to take care of it.

[Adam Pally]

We call therapy brain gym here.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yes.

[Adam Pally]

And it's like, you need a personal trainer, and, like, you can't start. It's okay, guys. People who are in shape continue to work out.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah.

[Michelle Buteau]

And continue to have coaches.

[Adam Pally]

That's what I mean.

[John Gabrus]

You don't. You don't ditch your trainer.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah. You don't go like, oh, I got to this level of fitness. I can stop exercising now.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yes. And I.

[Adam Pally]

You don't get your brain into the right spot and then go like, all right, well, thanks, therapist. I'm good for the. I'm good to go for the rest of my life.

[Michelle Buteau]

I mean, and if. And if you want to try, definitely try, and you can always come back. I think taking, like, the. The shame out of needing help is so important for, like, just pick any community, like, truly any community completely. You know what I mean? Like, the entitled ones to the marginalized ones. Like, everyone needs help because, like, the last couple of thousands of years have been a shit show. And, you know, we're all dealing.

[John Gabrus]

And it's a shame it's so expensive for. For people without insurance and care like, that.

[Michelle Buteau]

Also. America's a. Like, that's America. Right? Like, we don't see the value in the mental health, but, like, you know, it is about how. Which sucks. And especially doing my show, the themes I try to definitely hit on is access. We don't have access to things. Most. The most basic things that we should have access to. I mean, I don't think there's, like, clean water and fl. Michigan right now.

[Adam Pally]

Right.

[Michelle Buteau]

But we're still. Still like, Mars or whatever or, like, you know, I just feel like I. I really wish, especially in America. Well, like, once you take the shame out of it and help people and. And like, have access to not only Health care, but like the knowledge, just not just education, you know.

[Announcer]

Right.

[Michelle Buteau]

We'd be a better place. But I think then, oh, people can make up their own minds and we can't control them anymore. So what do we do then?

[Adam Pally]

Right. God forbid you have like a well adjusted populace and not a populace that's operating exclusively out of fear and anxiety and that you can manipulate and the fear of falling off economically. And of course, in our country, becoming poor is a death sentence. So it's like we keep us on the fear of like. And don't even get me started on, you know, company health insurance. Get started. I can't quit because I have heart disease. Quit this job where they treat me like, yeah, because I can't risk losing my health insurance.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

Well, yes, I have high blood pressure and cholesterol and all that. That's the stuff. And I've been, been tackling that.

[John Gabrus]

What if you're up for a job with another person who doesn't have heart disease but you're. You're more qualified.

[Announcer]

Right.

[John Gabrus]

And then it's like a bigger bill on the company and they use that

[Adam Pally]

to determine like too many pre existing conditions, we won't hire.

[John Gabrus]

Exactly. Yeah. What about that? Like, there's like, the whole system is,

[Michelle Buteau]

is like I feel like being born just even females, a pre existing condition. Everyone's like, oh, how do we control this hole?

[Adam Pally]

Control the hole.

[John Gabrus]

Control the hole.

[Michelle Buteau]

I think it's a campaign slogan that Maga ran on.

[John Gabrus]

I didn't even like that Shia LaBeouf movie. I didn't watch it. Didn't watch it. Didn't watch it.

[Michelle Buteau]

Oh my. Is Luff okay?

[John Gabrus]

I don't think so.

[Adam Pally]

I don't think so.

[John Gabrus]

I haven't talked to him. Do you talk to him? No, I never met him.

[Michelle Buteau]

I was like. You were in Transformers?

[John Gabrus]

No, no, no. Aren't you, Ey, Mechanic. I work in a mechanic shop called Transformers. No, no, no, no, no. I. It doesn't seem like he's okay, but I do, I do like that he is now imperson, impersonateable. Like there was a while where like, you couldn't quite nail a Shia LaBeouf impersonation. But he's giving. There's like a certain. He's. He's like eased.

[Adam Pally]

He's becoming a cat more and more

[John Gabrus]

and more of a character, which I'm like, oh, at least that's that. You know what I mean? Finally, like, finally some good.

[Michelle Buteau]

I don't know him at all, but the videos that I've seen of him that I don AI feel aggressive.

[Adam Pally]

They feel stressed.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah, I feel stressed. They stress me out.

[Michelle Buteau]

They. Yeah. And I also feel like he has not been kind to the women he's dated. And that's like a no. No for me.

[John Gabrus]

I think that's pretty and so well documented.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, I think you might be correct.

[Michelle Buteau]

Well, look, I don't, you know, I'm. I'm not.

[Adam Pally]

We're not here saying here. No, we're not here here saying.

[Michelle Buteau]

But you know, what's the good part about the Internet and having your out there like that is that for me, now I can pick and choose who I get to be in a room with, to work with and not find out. Not be gaslit, not be like, did you just see the. You didn't understand that? Why is it. Yeah, but she just. No, she would. You know what I mean? And so that's like. It's a choice, you know, Because I do feel like you are the company you keep. That's also how I like maintain this physique. I don't. I'm not around.

[John Gabrus]

Right.

[Michelle Buteau]

You know, I don't have to be anymore.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah.

[Michelle Buteau]

Especially like working comedy clubs, like. You know.

[Announcer]

Oh, yeah.

[Michelle Buteau]

49 states. 49 states.

[John Gabrus]

I performed.

[Michelle Buteau]

What do you think?

[Adam Pally]

Either. Is it Alaska?

[Michelle Buteau]

Yes.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah.

[Michelle Buteau]

How did you know?

[John Gabrus]

It's so.

[Michelle Buteau]

How did you know?

[Adam Pally]

She's good. You gotta hold on to that in case you ever get there.

[Michelle Buteau]

I don't think they're booking me for black history. We'll see how it goes. We'll see how it goes.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, but it's like, that's one of the four. I haven't been to four states.

[Michelle Buteau]

Ooh, which ones?

[Adam Pally]

The Dakotas, Wyoming and Alaska.

[Michelle Buteau]

That Wyoming is so fun. Jackson Hole. It's not Jackson's hole. I've made that mistake. That's another hole.

[John Gabrus]

But Jackson hole, we don't like that.

[Adam Pally]

Control it.

[John Gabrus]

Good for Jackson.

[Michelle Buteau]

Good for Jackson.

[John Gabrus]

I prefer Jackson to his hole.

[Michelle Buteau]

Someone serious.

[Adam Pally]

Jackson's hole is at.

[Michelle Buteau]

I can't. I can't.

[Adam Pally]

So I love this. Couples therapy and solo therapy.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yes. I also work out. I have a trainer.

[Adam Pally]

Oh, heck yeah.

[John Gabrus]

For the mind and the body.

[Adam Pally]

What kind of stuff. What kind of stuff you doing with your trainer?

[Michelle Buteau]

I love a full body situation. It's like, like, yes.

[John Gabrus]

Lift. Heavy lift.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yes.

[Adam Pally]

Can we ask, like, classic, like, doing okay in life questions. They come to you, or do you go to a spot for your trainer? Do they come to, like, I used

[Michelle Buteau]

to go to them.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[Michelle Buteau]

And like, I don't know. It Was so weird. Like there was a fire in the building and now she comes to me. Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

So wait, the way you just.

[John Gabrus]

It was so weird.

[Adam Pally]

There was a fire.

[John Gabrus]

Did you start that fire? No, cuz that was just the way that it came out was like. It was like. It was so weird. It was so weird.

[Adam Pally]

It's actually something that was being really weird.

[John Gabrus]

People were like, really weird. There's an article written about a couple of them. There's a podcast about it too. It's so weird. It's like, so my building caught. Not my building, the building I was in caught on fire.

[Michelle Buteau]

No, it was very weird.

[Adam Pally]

I'm telling you, it was weird.

[Michelle Buteau]

And that's all, like, I can say about that.

[John Gabrus]

Okay, all right. No, that's fine. If your lawyer's not present, I won't press.

[Michelle Buteau]

I always think it's weird when fires happen and like, no one's there.

[Announcer]

Right.

[Michelle Buteau]

You know what I mean?

[John Gabrus]

Like, electrical fires are a mystery.

[Michelle Buteau]

They are.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah. My. My. My brother in law was out at the Fireworks on. On July 4th.

[Michelle Buteau]

At the Brooklyn Bridge?

[John Gabrus]

No, he was in Long island and that. And. But he said he. They were there. They like, the kids are out there and. And it. The storm happened so quickly, so everyone's like, get in the car. Yeah, they got in the car and they were driving back to the house and he saw like a white light and he was like, oh, that's funny, the fireworks are closed. And then as the car was like, going past it, he realized it was a tree that had landed on a. On the telephone line. And it. It was exploding like the power line was exploding like in a movie.

[Announcer]

Oh, wow.

[John Gabrus]

And I was like, firestarker. I was like, that's so crazy.

[Michelle Buteau]

Like, and then he passed by Drew Barrymore and she was like, firestar.

[John Gabrus]

Drew Barry was like, oh, my God, it's so beautiful when the rain is out and the fireworks are coming.

[Adam Pally]

Thank you so much.

[John Gabrus]

Now's not a time to run. Now's the time for gratitude. Oh.

[Announcer]

Oh.

[Adam Pally]

So resistance training therapy.

[John Gabrus]

These are like, that's a busy week too. And, and parenting and.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah, and spa. I love a good spot.

[John Gabrus]

Oh, we were just talking because we're taking. We're going to Vegas with Anne.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yes. So we're talking to a spa walk around the road.

[John Gabrus]

We like to do a spa day to avoid gambling the whole time.

[Michelle Buteau]

Oh.

[Adam Pally]

To be honest, like, a 350 massage ends up saving you like a thousand dollars if you look at it like, to live by.

[John Gabrus]

Y.

[Adam Pally]

Math boy.

[John Gabrus]

Boy math.

[Michelle Buteau]

Okay. I also like When a masseuse comes over.

[John Gabrus]

Oh, yeah.

[Michelle Buteau]

You know?

[John Gabrus]

Yeah. I sometimes get taken out of it. I got a very, like, my. My wife got me this beautiful massage for my birthday last year, and it was. It was so needed. I was like, all up and jacked up and like, it was amazing.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah.

[John Gabrus]

But. But like, there is. Especially New York City. It was like I was doing it in my son's bedroom, you know, and there is the moment where you're like, trying to get relaxed. And I hear like his like, anime alarm go off or whatever. And then PlayStation went on. He's like, sorry, I'm playing on here. And I'm like, oh, my God.

[Announcer]

Yeah.

[John Gabrus]

I mean, you know, it's like home is not.

[Michelle Buteau]

When's your birthday?

[John Gabrus]

March 18th on Pisces.

[Michelle Buteau]

Oh, my goodness. Were you born like an upstream or a downstream?

[John Gabrus]

Pisces, I believe. Upstream, she said. But. But I'm not sure.

[Michelle Buteau]

Okay.

[John Gabrus]

Because I don't. I. I know that I'm full. Pisces, like.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, your Pisces, like rising.

[John Gabrus]

Rising and Pisces setting. And my daughter and my wife. Pisces.

[Michelle Buteau]

Oh, wow.

[John Gabrus]

Within the like, that's a beautiful, loyal family. Yeah. We're a lo. Little pond of fish.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, that's true.

[Michelle Buteau]

But like, upstream, meaning, like, you go against the grain. You're like, you're always like, Yeah, I don't think that's right. No, I do it this way. No, I might know something else upstream, but. Okay. And then downstream is just like. And you can switch in your life. Downstream is like going with the flow. I'm done. I've done it.

[Adam Pally]

Adam's been called verse before.

[John Gabrus]

I'm versed in everything.

[Michelle Buteau]

Got you.

[John Gabrus]

I switch. I. I switch.

[Announcer]

Hit

[Adam Pally]

and top, bottom, left, right, left, right, ba. Select stars.

[John Gabrus]

Call me a compass.

[Michelle Buteau]

Wow.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah, cuz. A compass.

[Adam Pally]

Excuse us.

[Michelle Buteau]

Wow.

[John Gabrus]

I'm sorry about that. No, no, no, it's okay. I've never done that joke before. I've never done that joke before. No, no, I never done that joke before. And. And I swear to God, I gotta write that down.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah. He's done it actually, for the last three guests. But you ever have like a little bubble guts during a massage and you cannot enjoy it fully and you want to be like, like, like, I go, I have to pee. And I just kind of like, get up and I just go.

[John Gabrus]

I just had this conversation with my wife.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah.

[John Gabrus]

We had just taken an anniversary trip.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah.

[John Gabrus]

Went to a nice hotel.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah.

[John Gabrus]

And we, you know, we're trying to plan what to do, and it Was like, when you want to get spa appointments, should we have, like, a big brunch? Should we, like, relax, get a big brunch, Champagne, then go to champagne, then go to the spots. We're like, oh, buzz.

[Michelle Buteau]

And then, like, oh, no, don't be full.

[John Gabrus]

Right?

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah.

[John Gabrus]

And then it was like, I don't know. I don't want to, like, your. Like, stop it. And be like. You know what I mean?

[Adam Pally]

Like, don't rub the stomach at all, please.

[Michelle Buteau]

They don't rub the stomach, though.

[Adam Pally]

No, not at all.

[Michelle Buteau]

That's like a Mayan abdominal massage, which is actually really nice and healthy for you.

[Announcer]

If you.

[Adam Pally]

She's plugged into the.

[Michelle Buteau]

No, truly, because we're always focused on our back. We always beat up our tummies.

[John Gabrus]

Did you. Lymphatics?

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah. Look at this chin. Of course I do.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah. You have amazing.

[Michelle Buteau]

But also the double chin. Of course. Like, Yeah, I like to. There's this place called the Face Gym. They're not paying me to say this, but. But it's great. They get in there. It could be relaxing or, like, really rough, but just like. Yeah. There's so much stuff in there.

[Adam Pally]

So I had a massage. I got a regular massage once where they went in my mouth, and it was, like, one of the most insane. Like, she, like, put on gloves.

[John Gabrus]

Oh, yeah. And did that thing.

[Adam Pally]

And, like, did my cheeks, and I was like, ow. I actually. And then I started realizing, like, this is the muscle I use the most. I'm talking, like, 12 hours.

[Michelle Buteau]

Even when you're sleeping in your sleep.

[Adam Pally]

I'm just random.

[Michelle Buteau]

You're thinking of stuff, doing bits, probably.

[Adam Pally]

I must. And now that I'm divorced, I'm probably riffing hard.

[Michelle Buteau]

Are you divorced?

[Adam Pally]

I am. Yeah. And I. I'm. I guess I'm talking about on podcast now, too.

[Michelle Buteau]

Okay, you don't. We can cut it out.

[Adam Pally]

No, no. We can leave it in, please. I didn't mean this.

[Michelle Buteau]

Are you okay?

[Adam Pally]

I'm. Yeah, I'm doing great. It's been, like, a year now, so it's been like. I'm in a new phase. I'm learning.

[Michelle Buteau]

I'm so happy for you and for her, then.

[Adam Pally]

Yes. Yes.

[Michelle Buteau]

She's crazy.

[Adam Pally]

She's arguably, like, inarguably doing better.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah.

[Michelle Buteau]

Okay.

[John Gabrus]

She. She's arguably doing better inarguably. She's arguing with me all the time.

[Michelle Buteau]

Either way. We're not arguing.

[Adam Pally]

We're just not arguing.

[Michelle Buteau]

Would you get married again?

[Adam Pally]

Probably not.

[Michelle Buteau]

Got you. But you would, like, maybe be with someone, but, like, that's A lot of work.

[Adam Pally]

Yes, yes. I'll have like, I think I like have now flipped. Like I did the settling down in my 20s and now that I'm in my 40s, I'll do the whole like bachelor video game kind of and I guess like sleeping around, but more importantly video games.

[Michelle Buteau]

It's like Benjamin Button but with your dick.

[Adam Pally]

Yes. Yeah. Well, there's a lot of similarities between

[John Gabrus]

my dick and they look like the same.

[Michelle Buteau]

How do you know? I got a little compass.

[Adam Pally]

I got a little old shriveled Brad Pitt.

[John Gabrus]

It grows the opposite way

[Adam Pally]

so far.

[Michelle Buteau]

Oh, okay. So it's like an Audi belly button that went in.

[Adam Pally]

It would make sense because I am 44 and I have a baby's dick, so.

[Michelle Buteau]

Wow. Sorry. Also I have a show called Survival the Thickest on Netflix if anybody want to watch it.

[Adam Pally]

Yes.

[Michelle Buteau]

No, let's get back to it. The dick. No, I'm just kidding.

[Adam Pally]

Season three.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yes.

[Adam Pally]

Final season out now.

[Michelle Buteau]

But does your dick change, like the way your titties change?

[John Gabrus]

Yeah, I mean your ball body, I mean all body bodies, you know, change. Like, it's like, I mean, I, I,

[Adam Pally]

I'm hoping my dick.

[Michelle Buteau]

When was like the nicest, like year or like, like year with your dick? Like, what were you.

[John Gabrus]

When was my dick prime?

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah, what was your dick prime? We were just like, I don't mind being naked. Like I could be at a nude beach and be 28. 28?

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, I think probably 19.

[John Gabrus]

28. I was showing. I was showing.

[Michelle Buteau]

Well, good for you.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah, I think 19.

[Adam Pally]

I had it out at most parties.

[John Gabrus]

You'd have to ask my writing staff.

[Michelle Buteau]

But wait, what was that show? What was that show with them? It was two. It was like Puppetry of the penis.

[John Gabrus]

Oh, my God.

[Adam Pally]

Yes.

[John Gabrus]

I was just thinking about that the other day when we were talking about going to Vegas because I think that's where they ended up. I'm sure that guys have a review.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yes, I think Australia. But Vegas is like very Australian.

[John Gabrus]

But they. Because they were on Real Sex, I

[Adam Pally]

think I remember the penis big time time. Also, my mother in law took us to see naked boys singing off Broadway. And that is exactly what you think it is. It's just like men with their dicks out singing songs.

[John Gabrus]

Is that at like the theater?

[Michelle Buteau]

I think that's more natural than the blue man group. Like pretending that the blue man group is good is weird, but seeing naked men sing is very natural. I feel like that's what I Yahweh

[John Gabrus]

intended Blue man group is if I have to be Blue man group is one of those things that I'm like, I. Even when I was young and guys taking to it, I was like this. We've all, we've agreed that everyone agreed that this is a thing. Like that was me.

[Adam Pally]

A thing that was me leaving naked boy singer singing. They were like, how was it? I was like, I blew man group. Now I've never done that joke before. I've never done it before. But I just.

[Michelle Buteau]

Am I here so you could test out material?

[John Gabrus]

No. I don't know.

[Adam Pally]

We like to bring on a stand up funnier than us and try to do it.

[John Gabrus]

I don't know why we're doing.

[Michelle Buteau]

Oh my God. Now let's talk about season three before it gets real fucking nuts.

[John Gabrus]

It's too late.

[Adam Pally]

Yes, let's talk.

[Announcer]

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[John Gabrus]

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[Adam Pally]

Yeah. Maxing is so maxing right now, bro. Get ready for spicy chicken maxing because Carl's Jr. Is saving you big with a 5.99 maxed out double stack double stack double stack spicy chicken sandwich. Seriously, just 5.99 double stack spicy chicken chicken. This is unreal value in the brophe, bro. The new spicy chicken Max wallet friendly Max tasty only at Carl's Jr available for limited time at participating restaurants, taxon included. Not valid for use within a combo or a combination with any other offered discount. And also speaking. Do you love spas? Do you love spa weekends?

[Michelle Buteau]

Oh, my God, I do.

[John Gabrus]

Come on.

[Michelle Buteau]

All right, Steve Harvey Segway. This guy amazing that's just Steve Harvey.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, I.

[John Gabrus]

Please.

[Adam Pally]

I watch too much Family Feud.

[John Gabrus]

He's the. The best on that. I got to do it with him as well.

[Announcer]

Did you do it?

[John Gabrus]

Yes. It was amazing.

[Michelle Buteau]

Did you do Fast Money?

[John Gabrus]

No, I've never won on a game. I've been on, like, 50 game shows, and I've always lost income and worse.

[Michelle Buteau]

Oh, I don't know how to do game shows, but I love Family Feud. We went on celebrity Family Feud. It was a big deal for me because I'm the only child, so I'm like, I can't. There's no family. I brought, like, friends, Padma, Joy Johnson, Dana do. And my husband. And we got to fast movie 20. I went first before my husband.

[John Gabrus]

Oh, my God.

[Michelle Buteau]

196. Whoa. 196.

[Adam Pally]

He four away, right? Did he finish? Did he clean up for you, or do you.

[Michelle Buteau]

He passed 200ft. I do a lot of the work. And then he comes in.

[Adam Pally]

Okay, now, she was going to.

[John Gabrus]

She wanted a slap. It was a slap 5 she was going for. You missed it.

[Adam Pally]

Let's talk survival of the thickest. I really was. I was like, let's talk survival of the thickest before you get too nasty.

[Michelle Buteau]

Oh, my God. This one.

[Adam Pally]

I do most of the work, and then my husband. My husband gets to finish.

[Michelle Buteau]

Look, look, look.

[John Gabrus]

If I say something.

[Michelle Buteau]

So I'm really the Stacy Abrams in the bedroom. You know, I really love.

[Adam Pally]

The Family Feud has gotten to the point where they're like, the best part is innuendo. So let's just ask questions. What feels good in your ass? And then he's like, your answer is frog, you know, so good.

[Michelle Buteau]

I told Steve, my husband and I watch you all the time, so you're in the bedroom with us every night.

[John Gabrus]

And he was like, oh, you're giving it to him?

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah. I was like, perfect.

[John Gabrus]

He loves it.

[Michelle Buteau]

His mustache was flying.

[John Gabrus]

I thought, yeah, it spins like a cat. I feel the story to you before, but when I did it, it was with John Gamberling. You know Gamberling? He's a friend of ours. He's kind of like a random comedian improviser. Just like, you know, genius mind off the top of the dome.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah.

[John Gabrus]

And I've never seen, like, it was a lot. Everyone was like, this is the longest pause Steve Harvey has ever taken. Because the question was like, you're is like, we've asked a hundred people. If you're lost in the woods and you run out of toilet paper, what would you use?

[Michelle Buteau]

No shit.

[John Gabrus]

And so you know, the answers are going, yeah, your shirt, whatever.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah, your socks. Yeah.

[John Gabrus]

And Gamberling is just this, like, cute little baby. And he. He's like a squirrel. And Steve Harvey is like, hold on. What? Yeah, he's like a squirrel. And he's, like, holding. Hold on, hold on. And he, like, walked around the entire set, and he was like. And he was like, I don't want the judges to weigh in on this until he's like. Then he did. Started to do, like, mime work about it because he was like, so walk me through it. Oh, yeah, the squirrel's loose on the ground. And he's like, no, it's from a tree. And, like, you know, then they're, like, playing with it. And I was the longest. It was like 20 minutes.

[Michelle Buteau]

Oh, my God. Did it make it in?

[John Gabrus]

Yes, most of it made it in because it was, like, ridiculous. Crying. People crying, laughing.

[Michelle Buteau]

Those moments are so great. One of them. That's my most favorite. Not Celebrity Family Feud, just regular family food. Name something that comes after the word pork chop. You know what this guy goes? You pine.

[Adam Pally]

As in pork. You pine.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yes. And then he's like, it's going to be there. And then, like, the whole family is like, it's going to be there.

[John Gabrus]

Be there, be there.

[Michelle Buteau]

And he's like, it's number one. It's number one. And Steve was like, it's number one on YouTube. And it really is. And I just love those answers.

[John Gabrus]

Oh, my God, that's amazing. Yeah. And then the families are great, too, because it's like. And I remember doing it, you can feel the support or the. Or the disgust. Disgust or the like. Like the optimism. Like, you feel those feelings we got right now. You feel those feelings so tight. Right away. It's like, you know, show me rind. And they're like, oh, you think that's gonna be.

[Michelle Buteau]

If I was Steve Harvey, I wouldn't know how to get back to standup. Cuz that energy, that feeling, you can, like, feel it on your face.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah.

[Michelle Buteau]

It's like the adrenaline is just like.

[John Gabrus]

And it's such a good showbiz gig. He shoots like, 40 in a week.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

You know, he goes into, like, a cryo.

[Michelle Buteau]

40 seasons.

[John Gabrus]

Yes. 40 seasons in a week.

[Michelle Buteau]

I do think he gets a massage every day, though. I feel like I've heard Dent for sure.

[John Gabrus]

He's yolked, too, now. He's, like, really into fitness. We should talk to him.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, I just.

[Michelle Buteau]

Okay. I just heard a deep sigh. I'm like your camera guy.

[John Gabrus]

That Was our cat.

[Adam Pally]

Oh, okay.

[Michelle Buteau]

Steve Harvey, if you want, bro. My bad.

[John Gabrus]

My eyes are

[Adam Pally]

the guy who kiss people on the lip.

[John Gabrus]

You have a lot of fun guest stars in this one. Who's in it?

[Michelle Buteau]

We went out with a bang. Because I'm like, everybody that was like, I want to do your show.

[John Gabrus]

I'm like, okay, is there any new love interests that you get?

[Michelle Buteau]

No, myself. She learns to love herself, which is like the most important relationship.

[John Gabrus]

That's it.

[Michelle Buteau]

You know what I mean? But iced tea. Hilarious. What? I see, hilarious. Iced tea. Wanda Sykes, my IVF doctor, the greatest.

[John Gabrus]

The legend.

[Adam Pally]

Her special just ripped too. I just. Yeah, it's so good.

[Michelle Buteau]

Who else was on it? I mean, besides, like, the. The greats, like Garcel Bouvet, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Oh, my God. Who else was in it?

[Adam Pally]

Tone.

[Michelle Buteau]

Tone Bell. Yeah. Lisa Trager. Oh, hel.

[Adam Pally]

Friend of the show. Somebody's like, getting facetimes on the work computer.

[Michelle Buteau]

You guys are like, never sign before.

[John Gabrus]

I've never seen this before. I've never met these guys, though.

[Adam Pally]

They don't work here. They won a contest.

[Michelle Buteau]

You gotta stop hiring people off the LinkedIn. Also, okay.

[John Gabrus]

Also, we are. We are above sad dolls. We are in the worst location. Platinum dolls, the worst location. And we're in the armpit of New York City.

[Michelle Buteau]

Oh, no.

[Adam Pally]

This is the studio where everyone likes to talk about it, but this is where Tupac got shot. Was here. Was outside of this studio.

[Michelle Buteau]

Oh, my God.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah.

[Michelle Buteau]

Really?

[John Gabrus]

Yeah. I don't know if that's also the

[Adam Pally]

studio where I died on the tour toilet. I just put that in the can so when it happens, we can play it back at my funeral.

[Michelle Buteau]

Sorry, what the did I walk into? There's so many different types of deaths.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, it's a podcast about health and wellness, about staying alive. But it's. It comes from our kind of morbid, like, more.

[Michelle Buteau]

Wait a minute. Wait. Did you actually die on a toilet?

[Adam Pally]

No. I'm going to, though. I can just.

[Michelle Buteau]

No, I'm kidding. Oh, my God. It's very else.

[Adam Pally]

Elvis, Please. I have a lot in common. No, I think that's about it. I'm talentless.

[John Gabrus]

I have a lot in common with Elvis.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

Kind of don't have anything in common with them.

[John Gabrus]

You're from Long Island. You have to build when he died.

[Michelle Buteau]

You like banana and peanut butter?

[Adam Pally]

I actually do. I throw a little honey on that.

[John Gabrus]

You know, I've never had banana and peanut butter. Someone said that he put bacon on there too. A little maple syrup. And I Was like, that actually sounds

[Michelle Buteau]

like the K. A glass of wine and a cup of coffee is called an Elvis, which is like my go to drink on any airplane.

[Adam Pally]

Plain, a coffee and a white wine or a red wine. What are you doing with it?

[Michelle Buteau]

It depends on the time of day,

[John Gabrus]

but usually a red, a red, white. That a red. A red wine.

[Michelle Buteau]

Not mixed together separately, of course.

[John Gabrus]

It's like a. It's like a poor man's highball.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

It's a great way to really change what your breath smells like.

[Michelle Buteau]

Teacher is giving substitute teacher. It is.

[John Gabrus]

It gives basketball coach. It's giving basketball coach.

[Michelle Buteau]

So that's what he was about. Now, like the high and the low.

[John Gabrus]

Of course. I love. I love love. I mean, if I have, like a day to nothing, like a wake up in the morning joint and a big cappuccino is like, oh, yeah, set me off.

[Michelle Buteau]

You know, you're not dying on the toilet. You're living.

[John Gabrus]

You're living that way.

[Announcer]

Yeah.

[John Gabrus]

You're like. Your senses are alive.

[Adam Pally]

When I can have a cup of coffee and a joint is when I feel like I'm on vacation, even if I'm doing it and I have work in like 40 minutes, you know, I mean, I'm. You know, I don't fly planes or. Or drive kids for a living. So I can have a joint, do my job, which is go on zoom and talk about action movies. So it's okay, but wonderful.

[Michelle Buteau]

Like a little drop of, like. I don't know what you're micro dosing, like acid. Like sh. Whatever it is. Just a little drop of whatever in your coffee.

[John Gabrus]

Well, to get you through the day, to, like, keep your perspective not from dipping.

[Michelle Buteau]

The world is hard.

[John Gabrus]

It's really hard.

[Michelle Buteau]

Treat yourself. We. I had a producer every time. I was like, should I do this? Should I do that? I don't know if I can. And she goes, listen, we weren't born to suffer. And I'm like, okay. She's from Uganda and she has, like a beautiful accent. She's like, we're not born to suffer. And I was like, baby, bitch, you're my Mandela. And I'm like, I just. We don't have to suffer because I had, like, sequence on. And I was like, I can't do this. I think I'm allergic to sequence. It's like tiny little knives in my butt. I don't know how Beyonce does it. She's like, we're not born to suffer. I'm like, oh, shit.

[Adam Pally]

And in your head you're like, well, I should just do it because I completely. Because, like, you come from that, like, blue collar workspace of like. Of, like, yeah, get it done. I'm going to be the one who's going to complain. We'll just finish. And then all of a sudden you're like, wait, this is my show, my thing.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah, you're like, buried alive. You got your hand going through the fucking dirt. You're like, hi. Yeah.

[John Gabrus]

Are you. Do you think. Are you going to go do another one now? You're going to make another show where you're. Are you, like, going to jump right in? Are you going to take some time?

[Michelle Buteau]

I don't know. Oh, I don't know.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah. Yeah. How do you feel? Do you feel like a release and, like. And I. And, like, open to new or you, like, fudge? I already miss running the show.

[Michelle Buteau]

I'm definitely like, fudge. I already miss it because I miss the people. I just miss the thing. But it would be nice to work on something that isn't so deeply personal, because Survival, I think it's. Is a book that I wrote, and so we, like, ripped themes and stories from the book. But I also think that, like, whatever project I do work on, it has to be deeply personal because I'm. What I'm missing in a lot of content, whether it's music, film, tv, is just thoughtfulness and mindfulness. It just feels like people are doing it. Just everything feels very AI. Like, very. Like, this is what I'm supposed to do to get, like, numbers and hits and.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, it feels like very arbitrary of, like, it does. This is what a successful show is, even doing my version of it.

[Michelle Buteau]

This is what I say to, like, rage, bait people or whatever. And I'm just like. Or. Or, you know, or to, like, pander to people. And I miss when people actually stood 10 toes down for something and they actually were that, like, they were very authentic. I miss the authentic authenticity in content right now. Especially, like, I could tell when I'm watching something and it's just like a bunch of network notes that they addressed, and that's what I'm watching. I want to see something that you fought for. I don't care if it's three minutes or three hours. And so I want to do something thing. I am gonna need to take a break. I'm gonna do a European tour in November and end in Amsterdam November 28, where I'll be filming my next Netflix special in Amsterdam, which is dope, which will be hard, but I love challenging myself national. Yeah, yeah. But I want to also, like, show that comedy is universal.

[Adam Pally]

Right.

[Michelle Buteau]

It doesn't even matter if you don't look like me or you don't know what the I'm talking about.

[Adam Pally]

You don't have to speak my language.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah. I love watching stand up in other languages.

[John Gabrus]

Except cold clown.

[Michelle Buteau]

What's that?

[John Gabrus]

Except clowning. I. I can't.

[Michelle Buteau]

I love baskets.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah. I can't. With the clowns in la and the clowns, they're in the park.

[Michelle Buteau]

Clowns really out there like that. I've never been to match.

[John Gabrus]

Clowning is like the biggest. Well, clowning is like. Clowning is like they're coming. Yeah. And. And once they bite you, you turn into one clown. They're in the sewers like it. They're in the sewers like it. And they pop out and they do some kind of like, bit.

[Adam Pally]

We all.

[John Gabrus]

I'm telling you, clowning is coming for. Because clowning feels AI to me.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[John Gabrus]

You know, it's like, so.

[Michelle Buteau]

Really?

[John Gabrus]

Yeah.

[Michelle Buteau]

I feel like it's like the oldest form, I think, like, I think I

[Adam Pally]

got to push back on that. I think it's like one of the gesture.

[Michelle Buteau]

Gesture.

[John Gabrus]

A gesture was in a court.

[Michelle Buteau]

Right.

[John Gabrus]

Which gave it perspective. A clown is in a circus, which gives it infinite, arbitrary.

[Michelle Buteau]

Okay, bro.

[Adam Pally]

It's just freak show. It's just improv with, like. With a new take.

[John Gabrus]

It's a new. It's a warm up. Yeah, it's a warm up for a warm up. It's a warm up for a warm up.

[Adam Pally]

I'm not gonna out here. I'm not gonna sit here and defend clowns because I don't fully understand it.

[Michelle Buteau]

Well, bring them in.

[Announcer]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

We just have, like, one car, 20 clowns.

[John Gabrus]

This is my joker. One car, 28 guys.

[Michelle Buteau]

I. I'm gonna be honest. I don't understand clowns or clown culture.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah, yeah.

[Michelle Buteau]

I. I respect. I respect your space. Respect my. Mine.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah, that's. Don't come in the park.

[Adam Pally]

What park?

[John Gabrus]

I've been in Griffith park like, twice.

[Announcer]

Okay.

[John Gabrus]

And if it happens more than once, then it happens in the park.

[Michelle Buteau]

Okay. I don't know.

[Adam Pally]

The clouds are loose in the park again. It's like a chopper with a guy with a rifle out.

[Michelle Buteau]

Oh, my God, the guns. The NRA to stop it. We don't need any more guns. No guns. No guns in the park, in the school. No guns for the clowns.

[Adam Pally]

No guns anywhere.

[John Gabrus]

Well, the clowns. It's the clowns.

[Michelle Buteau]

I love that. It was like, on this whole, like, respect for content and you're like, you have a clown.

[Announcer]

I know.

[John Gabrus]

That's why. No, I. I do respect the clown.

[Michelle Buteau]

No, no, no.

[John Gabrus]

But I respect.

[Michelle Buteau]

You're making me respect clowns now.

[John Gabrus]

No, I respect the clowns. Like how I respect the clowns. I was. I was clowning about going.

[Adam Pally]

Going off. What you were saying about standing 10 toes down.

[Michelle Buteau]

Good day.

[John Gabrus]

Good day, sir. Good day, sir.

[Michelle Buteau]

Goodbye.

[Adam Pally]

I don't even need comics or people to do bits about serious stuff. I just want them to take their stuff serious, like make a good joke. Like make a good joke. But if your strong stance is that you can put ketchup on hot dogs or whatever and you have a good, interesting bit on it, that to me is like, that can be authentic. It doesn't have to be like, yes, this is what I believe politically, per se.

[Michelle Buteau]

So many places you can go, right?

[Adam Pally]

And then you just feel like people are going, like, I should do bits about this, because what people like bits about. Not like, I feel so strongly about this dumb thing.

[John Gabrus]

You know, the crowd were work to me that, like, you. A lot of that is like crowd work is. Is like comedy without conviction. Because it's like, what do you do for a living? What do you. You know what I mean? It's like, what race are you? It's relying on this. Yeah. It's like relying on this certain element of, like, the audience as your show.

[Michelle Buteau]

It's so funny. Crowd work. Because when I was growing up at comedy, nobody wanted to do crowd work. They even the host, they want to, like, do their stuff set, bring on the next comic. Everyone's fighting not to get the check spot right and just keep it moving. And I don't know how, when, or why. I was just going to, like, so many different rooms, like the chitlin circuit, the gay rooms, the clubs, the. The weird rooms, like in bars that shouldn't be happening. And I was like, I found something fun in each weird room and I realized, like, just be so undeniable that you can go anywhere, any part in the show, show in any room. And then, like, then people, like, want to work with me more. So I was like, oh, just do that. Just be funny no matter where you go. But nobody wants to do crowd work. And now everybody, like, relies on crowd work just to get, like, that little pop for the Internet to sell their tickets.

[Adam Pally]

Right?

[John Gabrus]

Without.

[Adam Pally]

Without burning any material.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah. And I'm like.

[Adam Pally]

And it seems to do numbers for some reason.

[Michelle Buteau]

It does. And I trying to. Maybe I'm old, but tell me, tell

[Adam Pally]

me why we're Talking to other oldies here.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah. You're talking to two people. Yeah. I think it's done another thing too, which is like, giving the audience.

[Adam Pally]

Dude. Yes.

[John Gabrus]

License to be part of the show. Shut the fuck up. Which is also like, what you're talking about with content and no conviction, where it's like, I don't. I'm not. I'm doing my job to be there. Right. And the job is to entertain you. It has changed in a lot of these formats because the, like, negotiation is now. Your job is to deal with me. Your job is to be up there doing your material, but you also have to deal with the crowd. And it's like, that's not. I'm not a lion fan.

[Michelle Buteau]

That's not what I send them for.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah. It's like, you know, like that. And that's what those crowd work. A lot of those videos feel like to me is like. It's like if you pull back a hundred years, it's a lion tamer. It's like, it's a guy with a chair. You know what I mean? And a lion. And he's like. And it's like. And everyone's like, I hope that lion doesn't kill him. And then that's the entertainment now, you know, is like.

[Adam Pally]

It feels. It feels really weird. It's like, change the vibes of crowd. Crowds are like, going there, being like, I can't wait to tell you what my job is. I'm gonna wear a weird shirt and sit in the front row. So you have to interact with me. And then I make it in. Insert comedian's clip here. And now I'm in, like, a viral Instagram reel as just the guy who was half Mexican, half Samoan and had like.

[Michelle Buteau]

And Sam Owen.

[John Gabrus]

Sam Owen.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah. Sam Owen.

[John Gabrus]

Are you talking about my neighbor Sam Owen Owen.

[Adam Pally]

I'm talking about a clip I saw this morning of.

[John Gabrus]

Because he is Samoan. Sam Owen is Samoan it's very. Well, he's half.

[Adam Pally]

He's Sam. Sam Owen. Papu is his last name, so it makes a little more sense.

[Michelle Buteau]

Oh, my God, you guys. I think this is the first time I've gotten a hot flash during a podcast.

[Adam Pally]

Whoa. You. Are you going to be.

[Michelle Buteau]

Is it hot in here?

[Adam Pally]

It is. It does not feel hot, but I

[John Gabrus]

am in short, double denim. I don't know. We're in vastly different area codes. Dress was.

[Adam Pally]

Okay, well, we. We can wind it down here. We can get you cold compress. For what? I don't know what you do with hot flashes. I know I don't know. Towels underneath your t. No, no.

[John Gabrus]

Above, Above. Gabri.

[Adam Pally]

Whoops. What am I doing with these? Take out like two.

[Michelle Buteau]

So insane.

[Adam Pally]

Splash.

[Michelle Buteau]

Is your wife going through the paws?

[John Gabrus]

Yeah. Perry, Perry.

[Michelle Buteau]

Perry.

[John Gabrus]

Perry, Perry. Which is ramped up as we've hit this new age, you know, which is like.

[Michelle Buteau]

Is she waking up at like 3, 3:30 every night?

[John Gabrus]

Yeah, not every night. We've gone through. We've gone through stages of it and stuff, you know, But I. I also feel like I am not. Not going through a hormonal change, but, like, aging sucks.

[Michelle Buteau]

Aging is also a gift, right?

[John Gabrus]

Oh, yeah, tell me about it.

[Adam Pally]

Let's get you out of here. Let's get some plugs out. Let's make sure people see Survival of the Thickest Season three, final season now. Yes, already as of this record.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yes. And spa weekend coming out August 21st in like, all the theaters that have movie.

[John Gabrus]

All the theaters that have movies.

[Michelle Buteau]

All the theaters that have a movie.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah. Which is less than it should be because let's play movies in.

[Michelle Buteau]

In theaters because of capitalism.

[John Gabrus]

Who else in that?

[Michelle Buteau]

Isla Fisher, Anna Ferris, Leslie Mann, Murderers Row.

[Adam Pally]

All rippers, no skill.

[John Gabrus]

All rippers, all bangers.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[John Gabrus]

Hell yeah. That is a. What a cast.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah, it's dope.

[Adam Pally]

We have prepped Michelle's cold plunge for right off camera so she can dive right in and reset herself. Thank you so much for coming on. This was a real treat.

[Michelle Buteau]

No, it was for me too.

[John Gabrus]

Seems like it. Protector.

[Adam Pally]

Is this protector at all cost?

[Michelle Buteau]

Do you own this chair or.

[John Gabrus]

I think actually you own it now.

[Announcer]

Wow.

[John Gabrus]

I think you claimed it.

[Adam Pally]

Oh, man. I don't know if hot flashes are contagious, but now I'm feeling a little for clemped.

[John Gabrus]

I've had so many dates in like,

[Adam Pally]

that, which is like, I got a hot flash.

[John Gabrus]

I gotta get out of here.

[Adam Pally]

We never had a guest fake a hot flash to get out of the interview.

[John Gabrus]

But Michelle Buteau, we appreciate you, but she's. It's it again. Like, everything about her is. Is like half full. When she was talking to us about guilt and getting rid of that, it's

[Adam Pally]

like, God, she's so well adjusted. Like, hearing her opine about stuff, I'm like, ugh, yes. Why can't I have that belief too?

[John Gabrus]

I know.

[Adam Pally]

I just want to take your belief system there and just strap it to my personality and just like steal it.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah. It's really. She's someone you want to be around more the more you're around her.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah. Like a true ray of Light. Speaking of ray of light, may the gods of gambling shine bright lights upon us because we. We have convinced Smart List to let us record some episodes in Vegas. And me, Adam and Anne are heading to Vegas.

[John Gabrus]

Oh, my God. Oh my God.

[Adam Pally]

Oh my God. I feel like the dog who caught the car.

[John Gabrus]

Finally.

[Adam Pally]

We've been begging them to send us to Vegas. We don't know who our guests are lined up yet, but look, get pumped about the Vegas episodes. They will be dropping.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah, they're headed your way. Because we're headed there.

[Adam Pally]

Oh, yeah. And if we don't get any episodes done while we're there. Que serrasa. Oh, well, oops.

[John Gabrus]

If there's like a three week absence, it's, you know, Vegas didn't go well.

[Michelle Buteau]

Yeah, right.

[Adam Pally]

If they're just like we. We would like to re air this classic episode.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah, that means one of us disappeared.

[Adam Pally]

They're still looking for. Yeah, I don't want to say anything like Mitch McConnell style. I'm in a fudgeing.

[John Gabrus]

Why did she go to China?

[Adam Pally]

Because she has the power of attorney to.

[John Gabrus]

But he's dead now.

[Adam Pally]

He's not.

[John Gabrus]

I thought he's legally dead now.

[Adam Pally]

Well, she has to like, oh, they

[John Gabrus]

keep him alive forever.

[Adam Pally]

No, they're going to keep him alive

[John Gabrus]

till August 3, till the election.

[Adam Pally]

Because if they don't do it, if they do before August 3rd, a special election could happen and Massey can run as an independent.

[John Gabrus]

I mean, that's the easiest thing to like. Someone just got to go in there and pull the plug. Yeah, but like shut the generator.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, you didn't hear it from us, but whoever works at the hospital Mitch McConnell's in, drop the EMP and blow the power at the place. And obviously kill all the other people who need those machines.

[John Gabrus]

Someone plug in a hair dryer.

[Adam Pally]

Someone plug in a hair dryer. Put McConnell in a bathtub with it.

[John Gabrus]

Isn't that where he's being kept?

[Adam Pally]

Are we allowed to talk about this? Like, are we going to get the FBI watching? If we get the FBI to watch our part podcast, that's a few more viewers that's actually good for us. We got.

[John Gabrus]

But it's not as many as it needs to be to feel safe.

[Adam Pally]

Stay alive.

[John Gabrus]

Nice. Very nice.

[Adam Pally]

You know, you gotta win one for the boys every once in a while.

[John Gabrus]

Very nice.

[Adam Pally]

Oh, my God. You have been listening to Staying Alive with John Gabris and Adam Pally A Smartless Media production in association with SiriusX

[John Gabrus]

XM produced by Devin Tory Bryant and Anne Harris Engineered and edited by Devin Tory Bryant, who also wrote the music,

[Adam Pally]

associate producer and video producer is Maddie McCann, social media producer Tommy Galgano, assistant engineer Kyle McGraw.

[John Gabrus]

Special thanks to Jared O' Connell at SiriusXM.

[Adam Pally]

Executive producers are John Gabris. Ooh me. Adam Pally. Ooh, you Will Arnett, Jason Bateman, Sean Hannah Hayes, Richard Corson, and Bernie Kaminsky. Do us a favor, just rate and review the podcast. It actually helps.

[John Gabrus]

Just so everyone knows we do not have a discord.

[Adam Pally]

Don't reach out to us.

[John Gabrus]

See us on the street. Walk the other way or you'll catch hands. Who sighed, huh?

[Adam Pally]

Which one of you sighed?

[John Gabrus]

Which one of you sighed?

[Adam Pally]

I think it was you. Yeah, and you didn't even realize you read something on your phone and went,

[Announcer]

oh,

[Adam Pally]

it's okay, it's only an audio medium.

[Michelle Buteau]

Smart glass media. Hi, I'm Angie Hicks, co founder of

[Announcer]

angie, and one thing I've learned is that you buy a house, but you make it a home. Because with every fix, update and renovation,

[Michelle Buteau]

it becomes a little more your own.

[Announcer]

So you need all your jobs done well. For nearly 30 years, Angie has helped millions of homeowners hire skilled pros for

[Michelle Buteau]

the projects that matter, from plumbing to electrical roof repair to deck upgrades. So leave it to the pros who will get your jobs done well. Angie, the one you you trust to find the ones you trust, find a pro for your [e-mail] real talent is

[Adam Pally]

defined by what people can do, not

[John Gabrus]

where they learn to do it. So by stopping at the education section of a resume, you might throw away the perfect hire skills first. Hiring helps you see talent others miss, like more than 70 million stars skilled through alternative routes let their story unfold and gain a competitive advantage.

[Adam Pally]

Because hiring managers who start with skills

[John Gabrus]

are 60% more likely to find a successful hire. Hire skills first. Learn why at tearthepaperceiling. Org, brought to you by Opportunity at Work and the Ad Council.