Goops & Gunks (w/ Matt Selman)

Summary

Staying Alive with Jon Gabrus & Adam Pally

Episode: "Goops & Gunks" (w/ Matt Selman)

Date: June 4, 2026
Podcast Network: SmartLess Media
Guest: Matt Selman (Showrunner/Head Writer, The Simpsons)

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Episode Overview

This episode welcomes acclaimed comedy writer and showrunner Matt Selman to discuss his personal wellness evolution, his journey through loss and renewal, life leading The Simpsons, and, as always, the search for ways to "stay alive" in body and mind. Expect a high-energy, hilarious, and unusually honest roundtable between three men obsessed with food, fitness, and not taking themselves too seriously—even as they age and change.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introduction & Matt Selman's "Accidental Perfection"

• Gabrus and Pally introduce Matt Selman as both the creative force behind The Simpsons and a genuine health, food, and fitness enthusiast.
• Both hosts express an unusual awe for Selman’s energy and discipline, seeing him as “self-actualized” and even “emotionally untouchable...in a good way.”
  “He’s maybe emotionally untouchable. In a good way. In a way that makes it seem that enlightenment is within reach.” — Gabrus (03:17)

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2. Loss, Decluttering, and the Freedom of Letting Go

• Selman recounts how his house burned down in the LA fires—a tragedy that ultimately became “awesomely freeing,” spurring a radical release from material accumulation.
  • "It was literally 24 hours. I was like, I don't have to care about any stuff ever again." — Matt Selman (04:14)
• The group explores how losing things can force meaningful life edits, making space for a more present and less burdened existence.
• They muse about generational attitudes: how children view their parents’ treasures as “a pile of bricks,” and how hoarding gives way to liberation when necessity presses.

Memorable moment:

• Running satire about Billy Crystal and sentimental Hollywood losses (06:38–07:02).

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3. Fitness & Food as Life's Central Hobbies

• All three agree that, for them, “eating and working out” are life’s main hobbies—both sources of pleasure and sometimes guilt.
  • “I think eating and working out are my two hobbies. That’s all I want to do.” — Matt Selman (10:48)
• Selman and Pally geek out over LA dining favorites, with personal shout-outs to Chai Spaco for short ribs and other beloved neighborhood spots.

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4. Training, Gyms, and Physical Transformation

• Selman details his joy in working out, loving resistance training and lifting not as a chore, but as a true pleasure:
  “The thesis statement: I am lucky to love [exercise]. It’s not like eating my vegetables or doing my homework. I actually like both of those things too.” — Matt Selman (17:54)
• He describes joining Gold’s Venice post-fire, relishing its culture and character as "a museum of weightlifting technology" and a hotbed for gym personalities and hierarchies (19:15–20:52).
• Selman’s current routine now includes three gyms:
  • Gold’s Venice (the "reward" gym for inspiration and a unique L.A. scene)
  • Fox gym (conveniently onsite at work, albeit with humorous politics)
  • "The Gym" (a training-only gym in Mar Vista, focused on 40+ clients)

Workouts & Progress:

• Trains with a powerlifter, Chris Herbert, prioritizing safety and form, and is currently at 196 lbs, squatting up to 175 lbs for sets of 10.
  • “I would never do this by myself. He’s so on form. Like, he won’t let me stray one sec.” — Matt Selman (33:23)
• Regular use of in-body composition scans, but is skeptical about fixating on numbers—prefers to track progress and feel great rather than obsess over metrics (29:46–30:11).

Supplements:

• Creatine, whey protein, and fancy brands like Thorne discussed (30:29–31:02).

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5. Body Image, Age, and Social Pressure

• Selman opens up about body dysmorphia, accepting genetic privilege, and combating both vanity and negative self-talk.
  • “Given my level of disgusting Semitic hair on my body, I should never be shirtless, regardless of what we achieved.” — Matt Selman (33:37)
• Honest chat on how body standards and fitness priorities change with age.
• Notably, the group discusses the rise of the male wellness sphere ("manosphere"), male influencer vanity, and how this online “goop and gunk” industry now mirrors—and sometimes overtakes—the female side.
  • "The manosphere is growing at a faster rate than the female digital." — Adam Pally (36:38)

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6. Sleep, CPAPs, and Longevity Habits

• Selman shares sleep struggles and using “the craziest CPAP in the world,” aiming to avoid cognitive decline like a parent with Alzheimer's (41:52–43:02).
  • “My wife...she’s never said ‘I’m actively turned off by you,’ but...huge ick.” — Matt Selman (42:15)
• Gabrus quotes his old coach: “Sleep is the second most anabolic thing you can do for your body.” (43:05)

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7. Alcohol, Vice, and Habit Change

• Selman has quit drinking, citing John Cena’s perspective: “Alcohol kills gains.” (44:37)
  • “If I’m doing all this work to unlock...pointless male achievement to like work out and then drink and then not sleep and then put poison in and then just be treading water—stupid.” — Matt Selman (44:43)
• Hosts reflect on their own drinking moderation, relating it to performance, recovery, and how priorities shift with age.

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8. Career Stories and Simpsons Deep Cuts

• Selman shares his route from being fired at Seinfeld to running The Simpsons, including TV writers' notorious struggle with free food and work lunches (47:14–49:53).
• He describes the gaming of writers rooms, gym culture in Hollywood, and the creative process behind recent “manosphere” parody episodes for The Simpsons (35:00–36:28).
• Upcoming Simpsons projects previewed—cinematic, trilogy-form episodes, plus a "black and white Simpsons take on The Talented Mr. Ripley" (66:03–67:38).

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9. Practical Wellness Hacks & Takeaways

• Selman’s "non-alcoholic Michelada" trick—using NA beer, lime, hot sauce, and spices to enjoy the ritual of drinking out without the poison (62:29–63:33).
• Debate on men’s room amenities: lotion’s place in the bathroom, leading to a comedic group rant (64:17–65:03).

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Memorable Quotes & Moments (w/ Timestamps)

• "It was literally 24 hours. I was like, I don't have to care about any stuff ever again." — Matt Selman (04:14)
• "Eating and working out are my two hobbies. That’s all I want to do." — Matt Selman (10:48)
• "The thesis statement: I am lucky to love [exercise]." — Matt Selman (17:54)
• “Given my level of disgusting Semitic hair...I should never be shirtless, regardless of what we achieved.” — Matt Selman (33:37)
• "Alcohol kills gains.” — John Cena, quoted by Matt Selman (44:37)
• “The manosphere is growing at a faster rate than the female digital.” — Adam Pally (36:38)
• "Sleep is the second most anabolic thing you can do for your body.” — Gabrus’s powerlifting coach (43:05)
• "If I’m doing all this work...and then drink...just be treading water—stupid.” — Matt Selman (44:43)
• “All it took was one dose of Pete Holmes magic shampoo, and you were able to work out your legs every week?” — Adam Pally, on Selman’s "never does legs" fitness era (34:54)

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Highlights and Timestamps

• Matt's house burns down, discovers minimalism: (03:44–05:05)
• AI and creativity in The Simpsons writing room: (05:21–06:13)
• Writer's room lunches, food hoarding in Hollywood: (47:56–49:53)
• Selman's fitness routine & gym obsession: (24:18–28:08)
• Body composition numbers & gym lifts: (29:46–31:38)
• Simpsons’ "manosphere" satire episode story: (35:00–36:28)
• Sleep, CPAPs, and aging: (41:51–43:02)
• Alcohol, John Cena, and “killing gains”: (43:44–44:37)
• Practical fitness hacks: nonalcoholic Michelada: (62:29–63:33)
• Preview of upcoming cinematic Simpsons episodes: (66:03–67:44)

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Tone and Style

The conversation is fast, playful, honest, and cuttingly self-aware—never shying from self-mockery or deep revelations about where health, food, and vanity intersect. Expect anatomical candor, Hollywood in-jokes, and an undercurrent of camaraderie that makes even the darkest stories uplifting.

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Final Takeaways

• Letting go of possessions can be liberating—sometimes tragedy invites radical, positive change.
• Aging well, mentally and physically, often means finding joy in the process—be it the gym, food, or just not taking yourself too seriously.
• Fitness is community, routine, and a little vanity—a balance of genetics, hard work, and self-acceptance.
• Rituals matter—replace destructive ones with healthy alternatives to avoid FOMO and sabotage.
• Workplace culture around food, health, and achievement shapes lifelong habits.
• The Simpsons continues to stay culturally relevant—by satirizing male and female wellness trends alike.

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"Check out The Simpsons streaming on Disney+, especially for their crazy new trilogy and 'The Talented Mr. Ripley' parody episode." — Matt Selman (66:23–67:44)

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Transcript

[Commercial Voice]

Smart.

[John Gabris]

Less.

[Matthew Selman]

Are we recording? All right. I love it. Yeah.

[Adam Pali]

It's just like our hero, Bill Maher.

[John Gabris]

We're gonna be a little less random.

[Matthew Selman]

Well, we all just jerked off into a towel together.

[Adam Pali]

Yes. Yeah.

[Matthew Selman]

Yeah.

[Adam Pali]

And that's the secret.

[John Gabris]

We all so you know our old improv warm ups too.

[Matthew Selman]

That's great. Isn't that Bill Maher's famous. That's Bill Maher's famous pre show rumor legend into a towel. Legend has it, why not a towel

[John Gabris]

when you're that level?

[Adam Pali]

Why not the garbage?

[John Gabris]

Directly into the garbage?

[Matthew Selman]

Well, yeah, it's going there anyway.

[Adam Pali]

I stand over it like direct deposit.

[John Gabris]

I think a towel is so opulent that like, that's like hotel life for me.

[Adam Pali]

But I, I truly, I don't do

[John Gabris]

that at home because I'm like, I can't be running laundry that much. I, I feel bad for the hotel staff. I feel I, I, I give my

[Adam Pali]

best hotel staff tipper.

[John Gabris]

I tip the hotel staff and go, I like it's, I pretty much saying, I know. Like, I'm sorry.

[Adam Pali]

Big show today.

[John Gabris]

What's really funny is that the guy, our guest today is Matt Selman, who can guest on our podcast be justify the sake that he runs the Simpsons, the most important comedy institution in the world and a huge factor in our lives.

[Adam Pali]

And not just runs it, like runs it almost makes it seem like a business. Like writes it.

[Matthew Selman]

Right.

[John Gabris]

Yeah.

[Adam Pali]

Selman is the comedy voice of the Simpsons for the last however many years, you know.

[Matthew Selman]

Yeah.

[Adam Pali]

Like over decades. So, like, it's that alone to me is like, I just want to be with him whenever.

[John Gabris]

But then also, this dude loves to do podcasts and is a fitness and food freak.

[Adam Pali]

Yeah.

[John Gabris]

He's like accidentally already perfect. Like, if he didn't work on the Simpsons, we could still potentially have him on the podcast. I know. And it makes so it's so perfect that he's like, I want to come on your podcast. I have stuff I want to talk to you guys about. And I'm like, are you kidding? I want to sit and talk about The Simpsons for 11 hours.

[Adam Pali]

That was one of the things that I really wanted to make sure I didn't do. And that's what in. I've only hung out with him one on one a couple times. But we're friendly. But like, when we went out to dinner the last time, I really made a point because the first time we went out to dinner, I could not stop talking. Right. About the Simpsons. And like, I just couldn't, I couldn't even when the conversation would go away, I kept bringing it back. And I even started by the end of the dinner referring to it as the show. Yeah. And it's like I had to stop. I had to check myself from being

[John Gabris]

like, you know, the only thing that could stop me from talking about the Simpsons with him is talking about lifting weights, which is like my other go to. So it's like I have to get to like, what. How do you. What's your deadlift? Just so I don't keep asking, when is Duffman getting his own show?

[Adam Pali]

It's impressive with his age and his. His energy.

[John Gabris]

I know he's a good testament to like, taking care of yourself.

[Adam Pali]

Yeah.

[John Gabris]

Yeah.

[Adam Pali]

Cuz his mental seems good too. Yeah.

[Matthew Selman]

You.

[John Gabris]

Well, you'll. Listeners or viewers, you'll see or hear this dude's. This dude's self actualized. Yes.

[Adam Pali]

Yes. He's like robocop.

[Matthew Selman]

Yeah.

[John Gabris]

He's got something on where he's. He's maybe emotionally untouchable. In a good way.

[Adam Pali]

In a good way.

[John Gabris]

Yeah.

[Adam Pali]

In a way that makes it like, seem that enlightenment is within reach.

[John Gabris]

Yeah. But before we spill any more goss or like, let's just get to him. Let's hear, let's sell here. Here in Selman's own words.

[Adam Pali]

Matthew Selman, Where are you living now?

[Matthew Selman]

So I'm living in Mar Vista. Okay. Do you retire?

[John Gabris]

Not yet.

[Matthew Selman]

Not yet.

[John Gabris]

Guys. It sounds like a retirement facility, but

[Matthew Selman]

it's actually, it's a little part of LA between Venice and the 405. Your listeners may not know my tragic tale. Our house burned down in the fires.

[Adam Pali]

Oh my God.

[Matthew Selman]

But I found it. The short version is I found it awesomely freeing to like, not have.

[John Gabris]

This is the guy who's done the work.

[Adam Pali]

Yeah.

[Matthew Selman]

It was literally 24 hours. I was like, I don't have to care about any stuff ever again. Whoa.

[Adam Pali]

Wow. It was just completely. You were like, you. You were able to like, in that 24 hours go, that is stuff. And these are.

[John Gabris]

This is real.

[Matthew Selman]

And also, like, I lived in a way of mindless accumulation. Not collecting, but accumulation. And now I don't have to do it ever again. So, like, we have a new house. We're so lucky to have a good insurance and a new house and a Hollywood life. And I'm so lucky to have that and then to just. Everything is disposable now. Like.

[Adam Pali]

Right.

[John Gabris]

You just don't.

[Matthew Selman]

You don't need anything. You don't need to like, keep things because the era of keeping is. Is in. In the past.

[Adam Pali]

Can I ask you a question about that as far as or for our audience? Matt Salmon sure is with us. He's the showrunner head writer. I guess when you get a job like that on a show like that, you're also the foremost knowledge expert.

[Matthew Selman]

I don't know, guys.

[Adam Pali]

Do you have people on anyways for the Simpsons?

[Matthew Selman]

AI knows a lot about the Simpsons.

[Adam Pali]

Are you, Are you referring to AI a lot?

[Matthew Selman]

You know, if you want to know whether you've done something AI knows.

[Adam Pali]

Right. That's probably the best.

[John Gabris]

Because like, what's so funny? Because I with my dumb action movie podcast, we have to like every once in a while. Like, did we cover this already and we've only been running for eight years and it's three of us. It's like if you're in the systems, like, have we done this joke? We've only had fudgeing 700 episodes.

[Matthew Selman]

But like also when you're trying to be creative and think of new stuff to try to be holding in your mind, what you've done is horrible. It's kryptonite.

[Adam Pali]

Yeah. It's also, it's incapacitating to get to any new stuff.

[Matthew Selman]

Yeah. So you just have to like, every day should be blank slate, blue sky, new canvas.

[John Gabris]

Every day your house should burn down. You should just walk into with nothing in your mind. Nothing.

[Matthew Selman]

Like, we're so lucky. We're just the luckiest. My so lucky to. To lose the house. I don't know. I like the new house more. You know, with one thing I've learned.

[Adam Pali]

You're not saddled with the memories of the old house.

[Matthew Selman]

No, I mean we like all of our photos were on the cloud. Like we lot of all the stuff that really psychologically screwed with people justifiably did not happen to us.

[Adam Pali]

Right.

[Matthew Selman]

So I'm sitting there thinking, like, I'm not Billy Crystal. Boohoo. My Mickey Mantle baseball bat. Boo hoo.

[Adam Pali]

Like my black face. Oh, no.

[Matthew Selman]

My Sammy Davis that was supposed to

[John Gabris]

go in the Smithsonian.

[Adam Pali]

My Muhammad Ali black face. Oh, my black faces.

[Matthew Selman]

My Fernando light black face.

[Adam Pali]

Like, I lost them all.

[Matthew Selman]

But like also now, Billy, I love you. Billy Crystal Ballis a strong. But he's doing a show about his loss and he's doing it in New York.

[Adam Pali]

Yeah. Top place to workshop it.

[Matthew Selman]

Like, do it in la, Billy. If you're to cry about your house in la, do it on the west side. Don't do it on Broadway. I mean, I know you're going to be talking about the Yankees and the Brooklyn Dodgers and When they I would co sell anyway.

[Adam Pali]

Think of when the my house was burning down is what would Howard.

[John Gabris]

I don't know if there's.

[Adam Pali]

Watch it go, Billy. Watch it go.

[John Gabris]

I've had like recent like looking at all my shit being like I want to get rid of some stuff but I'm also like, what if I want that hat or sneakers again? And I'm like, I do not need you just got rid of a bunch of stuff.

[Adam Pali]

Yeah, I'm paring down like crazy. I.

[Matthew Selman]

It's the best.

[Adam Pali]

I feel the need. I've accumulated a lot and when. And I did it about 10 years ago when we moved from LA because I just had like all this stuff from like sets and. And I hold. I'm not a hoarder, but I do like sentimentally have problems throwing like stuff away, you know, like so. And. But there's no room. There was no room to take like the guitar from the Max character's wall that didn't play to New York. You know, this was like, that's got to go away. And then now I've been in New York for almost 10 years and I and we've accumulated a lot of stuff and. And like the kids are going to go to college in like three years. It's like I'm going to. Well, like hot down.

[Matthew Selman]

I guess this is now just old person podcasts instead of fitness podcast.

[John Gabris]

Let's be fair. Staying alive is in on the old people.

[Matthew Selman]

You know, I through everything my parents hoarded for 50 years. My brother and I threw it away in one weekend when they died. When no. Well the way when we shipped them off to elder care and just everything that they hugged and hoarded. Garbage. My kids look at my possessions might as well be a pile of bricks to them.

[Adam Pali]

Right?

[Matthew Selman]

Or my former possessions.

[Adam Pali]

They're like how many Hoka shoes is this? Right?

[Matthew Selman]

Or like this wall of books you read might as well be a wall of air.

[Adam Pali]

Right?

[John Gabris]

Right.

[Matthew Selman]

Because these books do not have any inspire any curiosity to us in any way.

[Adam Pali]

Right.

[Matthew Selman]

So I don't know, man. I feel free. That's my takeaway. I feel free.

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[John Gabris]

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[Adam Pali]

So we only ask one question.

[Matthew Selman]

Sure.

[Adam Pali]

So so. And maybe it's it's how has this changed pre and post but what are you doing to stay like we I always say you're yoked to high hell. You are.

[Matthew Selman]

Thank you boys.

[Adam Pali]

But on top of that yoked to high hell. We love to eat.

[Matthew Selman]

We love to eat.

[Adam Pali]

We live I would say we live to eat.

[Matthew Selman]

I think eating and working out are my two hobbies.

[Adam Pali]

That's what we do.

[Matthew Selman]

That's all I want to nice dinner

[John Gabris]

is life get getting into a complicated relationship with food as I've become more fitness oriented too where I'm like well I don't deserve a real meal unless I get like a lift in or something. Like I can get into my headspace of like oh we're going to I'm going to Funky town tonight with pally.

[Matthew Selman]

I better you're going there tonight.

[Adam Pali]

No we're talking about because we we do usually one or two dinners when we were shooting you should we didn't know what to do this time because we've kind of hit have you been

[Matthew Selman]

across the street to verse?

[John Gabris]

No no.

[Matthew Selman]

It's right there. Really pretty good.

[Adam Pali]

We should have talked to you. I knew you have all of course

[Matthew Selman]

it's literally across the street I was

[Adam Pali]

telling this to get you you you blew my mind about probably 15 years ago when you took me to Chai Spaco for the first time. That was a fun and I remember I remember saying to you with like a mouthful of focaccia was like the crumble like it was like crumbling out of my mouth and I was and you were like try the one. I was like everything was hat and I was like thank you thank you for bringing me here.

[John Gabris]

I fudgeing love that place.

[Matthew Selman]

Their short ribs are I think it's if if you ask me my favorite restaurant in L A is if I don't think about it just that's it.

[Adam Pali]

Yeah I Think so.

[John Gabris]

That's great, if that's a good answer.

[Matthew Selman]

What's quick answer is a useful answer. You guys are from the world of improv, right?

[Adam Pali]

Yeah, no, me too.

[John Gabris]

First thought?

[Adam Pali]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, me too.

[Matthew Selman]

Well, like, I'm, you know, I'm. I'm 54 now, guys, so, like, my, my, my good ability to, like, own the LA dining scene isn't in what it used to be.

[Adam Pali]

Right.

[Matthew Selman]

You know, and I kind of. Now that we live in Mar Vista, I kind of like just being a neighborhood guy and going to like, the six neighborhood places and like, loving on them and not feeling like I have to drive all over wherever for like, another similar meal.

[John Gabris]

My version of that I had like, four years ago, I had came to a similar revelation because I was like, chasing all the cool meals. And then I eventually was like, I'm spending like $300 a weekend to eat some variation of like, skillet cornbread. All these, like, fancy, like, California restaurants where the food is awesome and the cocktails are great, but they all start to blend together. And then I go to like, fucking, you know, the random Thai place that's on Santa Monica and right by my apartment, and I'm like, this place is pretty banging. And I'm like. And I'm helping. I'm paying money at a smaller place. I'm saving myself 200 on the meal. You know what I mean? And I'm not just eating like, duck fat fries and like, you know, a veal burger or whatever. Some nasty, like, crazy. So I've like, I had that same thing. And then I feel good when I'm like, in my neighborhood. Like, I feel like. Because also I live in West Hollywood and I have now for like 14 years. And it's like you just watch a business just change like 12 times and it breaks your heart. You're like, I don't want to fall in love with any of these places. And then next door is like, oh, track to your Russian cafe. Has been here for like 50 years. Let me go in there and get.

[Matthew Selman]

Is there some alternate means of profit for all the Russian cafes?

[John Gabris]

Yeah, there's like 11 delis. I've never seen anyone walk in or walk.

[Adam Pali]

It's like that rice pudding place on Prince. What the is that place doing? Place been never 30 years. I don't know one person that has ever been like, o hot day. Go for some rice pudding.

[John Gabris]

I love rice pudding. I like rice pudding.

[Adam Pali]

The afterthought.

[John Gabris]

Yeah. It's not like it's a diner food.

[Adam Pali]

So what. What's what are we working out with?

[Matthew Selman]

Okay, so you guys know I love working out, right? So, like, I'm lucky man. The world. The world's luckiest man.

[John Gabris]

My house burned down. I'm in my mid-50s.

[Adam Pali]

I might be in denial a little bit about how lucky you are.

[Matthew Selman]

Guys, I think about it every day, how all the crazy, random that had to happen for me to occupy this moment in time with you in my life. And if I don't acknowledge luck and chaos, I'm a liar.

[Adam Pali]

Okay.

[Matthew Selman]

But the number of meetings I go to where people have to laugh at what I say because I'm the main guy in the meeting, I never thought that would happen.

[Adam Pali]

Right? You never thought that people would be having. You thought you'd be them?

[Matthew Selman]

I thought, yes. I was happy to be laughing at powerful people. I loved it.

[Adam Pali]

And now you're a powerful person.

[Matthew Selman]

It's very surreal.

[John Gabris]

So now do you second guess any laugh when in a meeting?

[Matthew Selman]

Oh, yeah.

[John Gabris]

You're like, was that for real?

[Adam Pali]

I think that's why you like hanging out with us.

[Matthew Selman]

Yeah. No, you guys are. Please, no, we don't need.

[Adam Pali]

We're like, yeah, we're like. We've already gone through that cycle, so we're like, you better give us the good.

[John Gabris]

I don't care if people.

[Matthew Selman]

Every meeting I have or I have status. It's like a masterclass and how not to make your podcast audience sympathize with you. Every meeting I go to where I

[Adam Pali]

have status, we don't have an audience.

[Matthew Selman]

Yeah. I always think, is this the last. Is this the last one? Wow, that was great. No, maybe this is the last one.

[John Gabris]

I've done a good one. A super gen. Like, it's just a random general meeting.

[Matthew Selman]

I don't do general meetings. By the way. Here's a little. Here's a little show master class.

[Adam Pali]

Yeah.

[Matthew Selman]

Unless you avoid general meetings like the plague, because then they just. They ruin the mystique. If you're. If you're trying to sell something great, if someone's trying to sell something to you, great. But just to get to know you, that's just for them to justify their jobs and then say, oh, well, we have this good impression of this person. Then we met him. He's just like everyone else, Right? So now we know he's in the just like everyone else pile. Like, how. How good could it be? How great? How great could your personality be? I don't even know what show business is anymore.

[John Gabris]

Yeah.

[Matthew Selman]

This is a message to the past. Put this message to, like, people in 2006.

[John Gabris]

Yeah, we're gonna send this back. We're gonna send this. And a golden record.

[Adam Pali]

Podcasts didn't exist back then.

[Matthew Selman]

Right.

[Adam Pali]

Gonna get this.

[Matthew Selman]

I used to do this podcast. This guy, this crazy friend of mine, this guy Jason Nash, who.

[Adam Pali]

I know Jason.

[Matthew Selman]

I know Jason from, like, whatever being around that. He had this podcast in the 2000s called Guys with Feelings that was like on that way early of the podcast trend. And then Jason went into the YouTube world very deep.

[John Gabris]

This American Life was the first podcast I listened to. It was like the first time I, like, got a podcast. Use the podcast app on my phone.

[Adam Pali]

Yeah.

[John Gabris]

And that would put me in like 2009 or something like that.

[Adam Pali]

I still don't listen to podcasts.

[Matthew Selman]

Well, I was listening to your podcast on the way here to kind of upload the vibe.

[John Gabris]

How are you feeling about it? And said, can I cancel? No.

[Adam Pali]

I was gonna say you also could have just driven down to Venice and opened your window.

[Matthew Selman]

So I. I feel like, like body dysmorphia and narcissism are very. I feel very seen.

[John Gabris]

Yeah, of course.

[Adam Pali]

Yes, you are. But in that, like, I'm looking at a 54 year old dude. That is Jack.

[Matthew Selman]

Well, thank you.

[Adam Pali]

And like, how do you. How are you doing that?

[Matthew Selman]

Well, I love running. I love working out.

[Adam Pali]

Like you, like you, like, I always.

[John Gabris]

I look specifically training or exercise in general?

[Matthew Selman]

Definitely exercise in general.

[Adam Pali]

Okay.

[Matthew Selman]

But lifting resistance. I love it. So, like, I'm just again, the thesis statement that I am lucky. I'm lucky to love it. It's not like eating my vegetables or doing my homework. Okay, well, I actually like both of those things too.

[John Gabris]

But, like, door.

[Adam Pali]

Is anyone on the Simpsons not a dork?

[Matthew Selman]

Yeah, there's some.

[John Gabris]

Not maybe just Nangle.

[Adam Pali]

It's crazy.

[Matthew Selman]

Like, maybe it sounds like a closet door.

[Adam Pali]

Yeah, it's crazy. If Nangle's the coolest person on the Simpsons, she'll buddy. She is.

[Matthew Selman]

She might be the coolest person.

[Adam Pali]

Oh, yeah. I'm super cool.

[Matthew Selman]

I just. So. So after the fire, I'll say this. Let's go backwards. After the fire, I lived another dream of mine, which I joined Gold's Venice.

[John Gabris]

Hell yeah. The Mecca.

[Matthew Selman]

The Mecca, as we know.

[Adam Pali]

And you live in Marvisa.

[Matthew Selman]

I live in Marv.

[Adam Pali]

You can get there.

[Matthew Selman]

So, yeah, it's like 10 minutes.

[John Gabris]

Oh, hell yeah.

[Matthew Selman]

So I joined Gold's Venice. And like, if there's anything, the fact that. Okay, here it is. Nothing says you're more of a RFK junior super fan than my Car which is a beat up Tesla with a Gold's gym sticker.

[John Gabris]

Yeah, yeah, it's definitely a misdirect.

[Adam Pali]

You might as well have a sticker that says vaccinations for the week.

[Matthew Selman]

Yeah. And like I love Gold Venice because it's huge. Everyone there is out of their mind is as it's a museum of weightlifting technology. Like if you have stuff from the 50s, the 70s, the 90s, every type of crazy shit is there. There's always something to do. Do not go there when it's raining or you will get sick. Because those people do not believe in not working out when you're sick.

[Adam Pali]

And they also don't believe in vaccinations.

[Matthew Selman]

They don't believe in medicine and science based evidence.

[Adam Pali]

So it's actually probably one of the gross places when you think of like the Joe Rogan effect.

[Matthew Selman]

Oh yeah.

[Adam Pali]

On Venice you that gym is probably a cesspool of like koving, but there's

[John Gabris]

people lifting in in boots and jeans. So I feel a little safer. I like nothing more than seeing a guy, you know, rep for 495 deadlifts and Tim's and jeans.

[Matthew Selman]

But having said that, I, I love it. I mean it's just in crazy. It's crazy.

[John Gabris]

Is it inspiration? I've never even. I've got to go there.

[Matthew Selman]

Just there's a posing room which is all mirrors, dude, you got to go

[Adam Pali]

and take pictures for us.

[Matthew Selman]

And there's a posing room. And if there's clearly decades of social life that is built up between the long term gym users that I'm not part of. But I love to watch and observe all the characters who clearly know each other and are high fiving and fist bumping.

[Adam Pali]

There's a hierarchy.

[Matthew Selman]

Oh my God. I mean I don't really understand it yet, but I'm very curious about it.

[John Gabris]

So think about that part in Pumping Iron when Arnold goes to Golds and like daps up like 40 different absolute beefcakes. Oh my God, you're looking strong. Hey, looking big. And they're all. And I'm like, oh, that community is cool as hell.

[Adam Pali]

Any community.

[Matthew Selman]

I mean Arnold is still there sometimes. And Arnold's son, the extra son he had, Chris Baina.

[Adam Pali]

I don't think they refer, I don't think they refer to him as the extra. Well, maybe half of them do.

[John Gabris]

I think Arnold doesn't. Yeah, some other people might.

[Adam Pali]

I've worked with Arnold. He's the best. Yeah, I'm sure he is the best. The funniest he is. He's the as of any giant person like that that I've worked with for a long period of time. He's the most normal, like he eats with the crew. He doesn't have his own base camp. He like, you need him to stand in for a second? Sure, wherever. Where do you need me? You know what I mean? Like, he is a dream to work with and, and, and funny and like we'll joke around and stuff.

[Matthew Selman]

He seems like the greatest.

[Adam Pali]

It's the, is the greatest.

[John Gabris]

So cool.

[Adam Pali]

It's so, it's, it's so crazy that, that he was Republican and I was like so vehemently, like now I would be like, please.

[John Gabris]

Well, yeah, he's a different kind of Republican. He's pretty much what most Democrats are now. Probably like his, what he, what he ran under or what his like belief system was. He was an environment. He was just like, no taxes. Like, you know what I mean? It was an environmentalist. He gave us.

[Adam Pali]

Yeah, he loves to talk too, which is great. Which you don't hear. Like sometimes he's the best guy. You'll hear him go like, I was talking to him like, so we got next. And he's like, I'd have a lot more if it wasn't for that. Jason Reitman. You're like, let's get into it. Let's get into it.

[John Gabris]

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[John Gabris]

Are you working off a. Do you have a trainer? A training.

[Matthew Selman]

Okay. I have a lot. I. Yeah, I'm like bananas. And so I have Golds, which is like my favorite reward.

[Adam Pali]

Are you going there every day?

[Matthew Selman]

No, I probably just. I probably only go there once or twice a week.

[Adam Pali]

Okay.

[Matthew Selman]

Mainly on weekends because I have the Fox gym, which is a good gym. Which is a very good gym.

[Adam Pali]

Yeah, I've worked out there.

[Matthew Selman]

And very soft when you're working on the lobby. Very convenient. And I do get into a little bit of Curb youb Enthusiasm style mishaps.

[Adam Pali]

Of course.

[Matthew Selman]

At the Fox Gym, once a letter of reprimand was written about me for singing to myself while working out.

[Adam Pali]

Whoa. In the Fox Gym.

[Matthew Selman]

Yeah. A long letter to my. Well, you guys should call him my supervisor. My work wife. Richard Chung is this wonderful man who's the line producer of the show and makes everything happen. And he got this long letter about my singing to myself.

[John Gabris]

That is so funny. I can't believe people.

[Adam Pali]

That's so embarrassing. It's also a hard. Singing to yourself is a hard one. Because you're like, you know. Know you do it.

[Matthew Selman]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Pali]

Because everyone does it. But you're like, God, it's your. You're like. It's like being caught masturbating or something. Because you're like, you know, everyone does it. And you're just like. And you're just like, this is. It would. If I were to be caught, it would be horrible.

[John Gabris]

It's also funny, like, to be like a snitch at a work gym. Like, that's like one thing.

[Matthew Selman]

Who ratted me out?

[John Gabris]

Yeah, like who. Who's got.

[Matthew Selman]

Probably wasn't that crowded if I was. No singing Mama Mia or whatever.

[Adam Pali]

Those studio gyms. Those studio gyms have. Have Mama mia.

[John Gabris]

Mama Mia. Just do like heavy FL by shout singing Gloria. Singing Gloria, Gloria Glorious.

[Adam Pali]

Those. Like, the Universal gym was really tough too. Like. Yeah. I remember Ike got yelled at for dropping the weights too loud.

[Matthew Selman]

I think that might have been in the letter. Also.

[John Gabris]

Richard Chung's getting like a miracle on 34th Street.

[Adam Pali]

Bag of letters about rolls out like a scroll.

[Matthew Selman]

I think they accused me of dropping the weights hard and maybe just Using profanity words. And I don't know about that. And if I did, the gym was. Was empty.

[Adam Pali]

Yeah, right.

[Matthew Selman]

Like sometimes it's just empty.

[John Gabris]

Using profanity is so funny. It's like if you don't look at someone else in the gym and go, you. I think you should be curse like if you're like, oh. Or like, let's go. Like that's one thing. But if you look at someone be like, hey you pal. You're like, okay. That's when you're allowed to write a letter about.

[Adam Pali]

Well, that's what I do. That's how I pick a treadmill.

[John Gabris]

You mouth you to everyone till someone reacts and you get right them and race them. You look at their numbers and you just go up 0.1 above each.

[Adam Pali]

777778. 7 8.

[Matthew Selman]

So I got gold. This is. I used to have five gyms. Two of them burned also during the writer strike.

[Adam Pali]

You cut.

[Matthew Selman]

It's very useful just to have an array of toilets around the city. For sure.

[Adam Pali]

For sure.

[Matthew Selman]

I mean, a New Yorker critically.

[Adam Pali]

Oh, I knew. Well, it was actually easier during the writer strike to. For us because you could. You could.

[Matthew Selman]

We.

[Adam Pali]

We had our groups that we would go with and it would literally be like, hold my sign Starbucks back hands. Because you had all decided to gather.

[Matthew Selman]

You know what I mean?

[Adam Pali]

This is a little easier. Shit. When I. When I went here, I remember saying to Doug, what's our plan? You know?

[John Gabris]

And he was like, gratitude is far from.

[Adam Pali]

He was like. He's like, we place it, we play it where it lies, you know?

[John Gabris]

I was like, all right, we'll just have to deal.

[Adam Pali]

But like it was a little more. Where are we gonna here?

[Matthew Selman]

And it's. And it's. Given the way we eat, you just. It's good to have options.

[Adam Pali]

Yes.

[Matthew Selman]

In the city. But now I'm down to now I'm not a. Three gyms.

[John Gabris]

Okay.

[Matthew Selman]

Fox Gold and then this fantastic 40 plus training gym near my house called the Gym. It's on Venice and like kind of Grandview 20 plus. 40 plus.

[John Gabris]

Whoa.

[Matthew Selman]

Yeah. 40 plus.

[Adam Pali]

My mind.

[Matthew Selman]

Yeah.

[Adam Pali]

That must feel comfortable.

[Matthew Selman]

Yeah. This. I mean, I really want to give this place a plug. It's called the Gym. It's on Venice and it's a training only gym. So you need to get a pack. You have a package of stuff with your trainer. And I'm working out with this terrific guy, Chris Herbert, and he's a former power lifter. So we're like going heavy in a way that I would Never do by myself. Right. We're like. Like into, like heavy squats and like, the belt. We wear the belt tighten. They feel very safe in the belt. Guys.

[John Gabris]

No, I know you need the intra abdominal.

[Adam Pali]

You follow Brian Koppelman.

[Matthew Selman]

I know who he is.

[Adam Pali]

He's on the belt.

[Matthew Selman]

He's on the belt.

[Adam Pali]

He's older than us.

[Matthew Selman]

Yeah, he's like a gentleman.

[John Gabris]

How much weight is he lifting? Is he lifting billions?

[Adam Pali]

No, I told you, that's the character's name. Yeah, we ride on the rugby.

[John Gabris]

Or is he lifting rounders numbers?

[Adam Pali]

I told you, that's the character's name.

[John Gabris]

Hi, it's me, Rounders, played by Ed Norton.

[Adam Pali]

We like to support his health and back on his riding.

[Matthew Selman]

He's also a big restaurant. Everyone's. Everyone's everything. But. So, I mean, today, but right before I came here, we like, you know, in the. In the squat rack, I think we did. So the bar, 45 and two tens.

[John Gabris]

Okay. 165.

[Matthew Selman]

So that's like, for me, that's 175. Very heavy.

[John Gabris]

Yeah.

[Adam Pali]

And is it. And that's body weight.

[John Gabris]

That's over body weight?

[Matthew Selman]

No, I'm like. I weigh 196.

[John Gabris]

Okay, well, you're still. You're still doing. And what.

[Matthew Selman]

No, I did a little prep for today.

[Adam Pali]

What do you. And what are you, six, six, six one?

[Matthew Selman]

I'm like six feet.

[Adam Pali]

Yeah.

[Matthew Selman]

So I did. I did an in body scan at the gym today so we could come in.

[Adam Pali]

And I'm so terrified of that.

[Matthew Selman]

And I mean, I think these scans are dumb. And you. They only make you feel bad about yourself because I've never done one. They make you feel like all your good work is for.

[John Gabris]

I got a package to the one in WeHo and I. I've got.

[Adam Pali]

I'm not even. I'm not even doing the aura ring or that. I don't know.

[Matthew Selman]

I mean, the DEXA scan. I just feel like. Like these things are not accurate. They make you feel like all your work is for nothing. So they suck.

[John Gabris]

But the only thing I like about it is the progress part of it. You know what I mean?

[Matthew Selman]

But then if you go have a setback, you're like, what happened? What did I do wrong? And like, it's usually just how much you is a big part of it, right? Or just whatever your creatine up. How up or down you are on creatine. You guys on creatine?

[John Gabris]

10 millies a day.

[Adam Pali]

I gotta get on creatine.

[Matthew Selman]

I'm. I don't do it every Day, but I try to remember to do it every day.

[John Gabris]

Yeah, I'm probably at like four or five days.

[Matthew Selman]

So before I came here, I worked out with Chris the gym on Venice. High recommend. And then smoothie of whey protein and creatine from fancy Thorn. You know, Thorn is like familiar.

[John Gabris]

They're great Bougie. Thorn. Great.

[Matthew Selman]

So Bougie wife supplement company. All the bougie wives love it.

[John Gabris]

Mine included Thorne and Momentous do a lot of third party testing, so you can rely on a lot of their supplements. Neither of them are sponsors the podcast yet.

[Matthew Selman]

Yet it's peanut butter powder.

[John Gabris]

Yeah.

[Matthew Selman]

And we call that frozen short term

[John Gabris]

for that is the pwo.

[Matthew Selman]

And then so I did a solid smoothie. So what are we looking at here? Wait, who cares? Wait. 196.9. Skeletal muscle mass 86.2.

[John Gabris]

Hell yeah.

[Matthew Selman]

Above average.

[John Gabris]

Hell yeah.

[Matthew Selman]

Percent body fat 22.9. Above average.

[Adam Pali]

Well, yeah, but that's.

[John Gabris]

What.

[Matthew Selman]

But like you gotta live, right?

[John Gabris]

Yeah, well, also like above average.

[Adam Pali]

I had my face scanned and I have 94 body fat in my face.

[John Gabris]

94.

[Adam Pali]

94%. That means you have no bones. I have a ball of fat. That's two eyes.

[Matthew Selman]

A friend of. I don't know if friend of mine. There's no friend of mine. Had a daughter, has a daughter who had a huge roommate blowup over one kid reading the other kid's text phone chain and revealing that someone's boyfriend had referred to her as fat face. And that then resulted in my friend having to travel, find new apartments, buy out leases, move furniture. Like.

[Adam Pali]

And you know what the bug.

[Matthew Selman]

One, one boyfriend. Your errant text of calling someone fat face.

[Adam Pali]

Kids are so cruel.

[Matthew Selman]

Led to multiple thousands of dollars, multiple planes, multiple furniture lifting drama. Lifting things and couches and crying. And now what? And who's on what side? And just from one little private fat face that someone spied in the phone when they were handing the phone over for to order the food, they read in the text the fat face and then kaboom. Chris and I at the gym on Venice, we did like, you know, very. For me, very heavy square.

[John Gabris]

Are we talking triples? Like set of threes or set of five?

[Matthew Selman]

Well, today he had me doing tens.

[Adam Pali]

Damn.

[John Gabris]

Wait, so you did a set of 10 at 175.

[Matthew Selman]

But sometimes he'll have me go heavier and do fewer.

[Adam Pali]

Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm used to.

[Matthew Selman]

You're.

[John Gabris]

But you're at like. That's like 85 of your body weight.

[Matthew Selman]

Yeah.

[John Gabris]

You're repping it for 10.

[Matthew Selman]

That is your core.

[Adam Pali]

Phenomenal. Your core is, like, strong.

[Matthew Selman]

You're God, you know, I just feel. I feel very safe with Chris.

[Adam Pali]

Yeah.

[Matthew Selman]

Like, I would never do this by myself. He's so on form. Like, he won't let me stray one sec.

[Adam Pali]

Do you feel that your strength. Do you. You're seeing results the way you want. Where you want to see them in your body. Like, you feel like, oh, I'm. I'm looking better. I'm feeling it.

[Matthew Selman]

I feel great. I'm trying not to be super obsessed about exactly how jacked I am, because given my level of disgusting Semitic hair on my body, like, I should never be shirtless, regardless of what we achieved.

[Adam Pali]

Yeah.

[Matthew Selman]

So, like, they could put that in the past.

[Adam Pali]

But do you feel. But I don't even. I mean, I similarly. Like, I don't. I don't need. I don't think about, like, how. But do you. What I judge is, like, do I feel good in my T shirt? Like, sometimes I feel good in a T shirt when I'm feeling bad and I put it. And I put a T shirt on, I'll, like, walk in a different way. Sometimes I'm like, I don't want to.

[John Gabris]

I can tell when I'm not feeling myself is when I have tried on. I'm so lazy, and I don't give a fuck about clothes. And then I'll. When I. When I put on the third shirt in the morning where I'm like, I got. Okay. I'm dealing with something here. Because I'm like, this one doesn't feel right either. It's like. No, it's underneath that.

[Adam Pali]

So how many times a week you're training?

[Matthew Selman]

So I do. So the reason I started going to this gym was I just wasn't doing legs on my own.

[Adam Pali]

Right.

[Matthew Selman]

I mean, that's what. For this video podcast. The. The red. The red thing that gets people to click on it. This guy wasn't doing legs on his own.

[John Gabris]

Wait, I wonder what ended up happening. So you're saying Simpson showrunner never does legs and we have, like, Mr. B's face.

[Adam Pali]

All it took was one dose of Pete Holmes magic shampoo, and you were able to work out your legs every week?

[Matthew Selman]

Well, you. Okay, let's. Let's. You did this fantastic, fantastic Simpsons episode for us. It was the best that I'm so proud of. Dream of my Life, which was about this when Nangle wrote it. Yeah. Christine Nagel wrote it.

[Adam Pali]

There's no way, no other way I'm getting in.

[Matthew Selman]

And, like, but it was, it's about manosphere man, Narcissism workout Colossus, be the

[Adam Pali]

manosphere guy for Springfield.

[Matthew Selman]

For sure. For sure.

[Adam Pali]

Because, like, dream of mine, I mean,

[Matthew Selman]

she pitched the snail music, the writers and Christine Akima came with this idea of, I don't know, this snail Jesus. The superintendent, Superintendent Chalmers getting fired and making fun of AI and then he's fired and then he discovers snail mucin, which is a real thing that Gwyneth Paltrow. Right. And so then, but then to say that we could make fun of the male vanity satirized male vanity Instagram marketing world as opposed to female vanity. What felt really fun and fresh to us. And for me, of course, I get like the one hour a week I'm on Instagram. Everything is male vanity goos and gunks.

[Adam Pali]

Yes.

[Matthew Selman]

And so to make fun of that world and create fake, you know, goat colostrum kind of brands was so fun.

[Adam Pali]

Oh, it was the best. And when I, when I got in there, I was like, oh my God, this is so, this is awesome to do that on the, on the Simpsons.

[Matthew Selman]

But you were, you were. He was funny and he was like ad libbing and bringing stuff to it. It was hell yeah. Really funny characters. The kind of.

[John Gabris]

I'm obsessed with that world.

[Adam Pali]

Of course I was going to say, you know, that world is, is so interesting to me because it's growing at a faster rate than the female digital. Like.

[Matthew Selman]

Right.

[Adam Pali]

Like the female sphere has always kind of been there, but the manosphere is growing out in such a way where like even like plastic surgery and stuff is like becoming a new looks maxing looks maxing and stuff.

[John Gabris]

The men, the, the male influencers call it like grind set mentality and all that. That is girl boss. Yeah, it's like we used to go like, oh, girl boss. But the men's fitness is also wrapped up in like being a good husband and, and whatever good husband means in their, in their girl dads. Yeah, I'm a girl dad. I'm a CEO. I'm an entrepreneur. I have two work days. I have two workouts a day and two eight hour work days and I spend time.

[Adam Pali]

The bummer of the manosphere is you do get these. The other side of that, because men are just inherently less empathetic to others most of the time is that all these influencers I watch, they do put that like weird spin on it at the end of whatever their weird spin is. So you'll be like, hey. They'll be like, hey, what's up? I'm Chris, this is day 239 of me doing 20 minutes a day to see if I get jacked. Here are my workouts. And it's like 10 minutes of the pump, 10 minutes of the squat, 5 minutes of the thing. And he's like, and of course everybody stay. Love the Jews.

[Matthew Selman]

Yeah.

[John Gabris]

Sometimes it's that bad. Sometimes it is like. And that's why I eat a pound of seaweed a day. And you're like, okay, yeah, that's weird. And then every, everyone tags it with whatever their peccadillo is. And sometimes it gets really.

[Adam Pali]

I've seen so many where it's like all you need to do is 100 push ups a day and have faith in Jesus. Yeah. And you're. It's like that, it just. They tag it on, you know, and you're like.

[John Gabris]

And it's like. It's like Christ says, yeah, what?

[Matthew Selman]

I mean, I'm this close to you

[John Gabris]

to just becoming a guy online, spending

[Matthew Selman]

a thousand dollars a week on caldera labs, whatever that is. Because I just. The ads are just. They just keep punching me and punching me.

[Adam Pali]

What is pre nouveau?

[Matthew Selman]

Pre nouveau?

[Adam Pali]

Everybody. I. Because. Because pre nouveau hit my feed. But six months ago. It's a thing where you go, they have one in LA where you. And in New York where you like go through a basic, like a full body MRI and they, they. I don't know how they do it, but they tell you every area that is possibly cancerous or, or, or, or trouble. Yeah. And then you take that information back to your physician and bother the fuck out of.

[John Gabris]

If, if you put me in that thing, the machine would scan me and then just crush me like a recycler where it's like, oh, this is, this is for trash me down. It's like a viscous mule. Like a mucus block and then throw me.

[Adam Pali]

But this is how the algorithm works. I start getting that. Not alone. Then I'm sure what happened is they started reaching out to people. I also follow influencers, movie stars, whatever. And I would see in other people's feed like, hey, me and whatever. Taking a day at pre nouveau. And I'm like, damn, that's like more pre nouveau than I had before or whatever. Like, and now I'm. I'm thinking, am I missing out? Am I going to die if I don't do pre nouveau?

[Matthew Selman]

I don't think. I think it will only bring you anxiety.

[Adam Pali]

Yeah.

[Matthew Selman]

Because like just too much information about benign. Everyone's body is full of benign things that you don't want to have to think about yeah.

[Adam Pali]

And I don't want that's why I won't wear an aura ring. I'm like, I know I'm not sleeping good. I don't want to have the pressure of being like, well, I'll catch up on my sleep tomorrow.

[Matthew Selman]

Like, where are you guys on the where we were at CPAP journey?

[John Gabris]

I did a sleep study and I do not have sleep apnea, so I do not need it. Despite which is the reason why I can't get my zepbound covered by my doctors because I don't actually have some of the comorbidities that come with it. But I'm like I told my cardiologist, I'm like, you told them I'm like 100 pounds overweight, right? And they were like, yeah, of course I know.

[Adam Pali]

That was the first thing we said.

[Commercial Voice]

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[Matthew Selman]

We only met a month ago.

[John Gabris]

Angie, the one you trust to find the ones you trust.

[Matthew Selman]

Find pros for all your home [e-mail]

[John Gabris]

how's your sleep?

[Matthew Selman]

So I'm on the I'm on the craziest CPAP in the world. I mean my like a chamber. Like the hose comes out of the top of my head. I mean I'll the picture is. I'll send you the I'll show you the pictures. Horrifying. It's my Wife. Honest is so turned. I didn't think.

[Adam Pali]

Did you go to another room?

[Matthew Selman]

I didn't think she was turned on. I mean, before, but I. She's never said. I'm actively turned off by you, but

[Adam Pali]

you could tell that she gets ick.

[Matthew Selman]

Oh, huge ick.

[John Gabris]

Yeah. They need to make sexier.

[Adam Pali]

Oh, my God.

[John Gabris]

There needs to be one of us in the wreckage, baby. Yeah. Full bane. I merely adopted it.

[Adam Pali]

Well, my love, let's turn the screens

[Matthew Selman]

off and hit the hang.

[John Gabris]

I got in trouble at the gym today.

[Matthew Selman]

Don't forget to text me the window guy about the scratches on the window.

[John Gabris]

You really do look like you have a xenomorph on your face. Like an alien.

[Matthew Selman]

It's ridiculous, but I feel better. My mother has horrible boo hoo Alzheimer's. I don't want to get that right. So brain oxygen during the night? Yeah, since this is an old person's podcast.

[Adam Pali]

Well, no, it's not.

[John Gabris]

I quote my first powerlifting coach in New York City all the time about sleep. He says sleep is the second most anabolic thing you could do for your body.

[Matthew Selman]

They say that?

[John Gabris]

Yeah. I mean, that's true.

[Matthew Selman]

We had John Cena on the show, and I asked him about creatine. I thought of what he felt about, and I could tell he was annoyed.

[John Gabris]

I just see this visual in my head of, like, Cena at the mic and you coming in, like, looking up.

[Matthew Selman]

It was over zoom. It was over zoom.

[Adam Pali]

Did it say showrunner or did it just say Matt Salmon?

[Matthew Selman]

Because it just said aging face.

[Adam Pali]

Yeah, I was going to say. Because if it didn't say showrunner, he might have been like, who's this?

[Matthew Selman]

I don't think he needs. He meets so many people on Zooms who in. Nothing would.

[Adam Pali]

Right.

[Matthew Selman]

He was great. Yeah, he was fantastic, but he was like. He went into, like, diet, sleep, alcohol, rest, recovery list, all. If you're doing all these five things, then you can take creatine, but not if you're not being rigorous about all. I also quit drinking, guys. Whoa.

[Adam Pali]

That's the big thing. Can't, can't, can't. Everyone has said it to us.

[John Gabris]

It is objectively if you just poise. Like, I'm at the phase in my life where I'm just trying to poison myself less. Yeah.

[Adam Pali]

Like, I know that I am going to it. I know I'm gonna quit drinking.

[Matthew Selman]

I hope so, or I'll. You're still in your 40s, right?

[John Gabris]

44.

[Matthew Selman]

Right. So you guys are millennials.

[John Gabris]

Yes.

[Adam Pali]

Yeah.

[Matthew Selman]

I'm the heart of Gen X. I

[Adam Pali]

thought you were gonna say Jew.

[Matthew Selman]

Part of Jew.

[John Gabris]

I'm the heart of Jew. The heart of Jews. Beautiful.

[Adam Pali]

All right, we got the Simpsons.

[Matthew Selman]

That's what Cena. Cena said. Alcohol kills gains.

[John Gabris]

Yeah, he's right.

[Adam Pali]

He's right.

[Matthew Selman]

And I was like, well, if I'm doing all this work to like. Like to unlock whatever in my body is a sense of pointless male achievement, to, like, work out and then drink and then not sleep and then put poison in and then just be treading waters. Stupid. Yeah, it's like.

[John Gabris]

It's like washing your car and maintaining it and detailing it and then just putting, like leaded gasoline in it.

[Matthew Selman]

But I also don't think I really have the alcohol loving gene that some people have where it's.

[John Gabris]

I'm glad we're calling it the alcohol loving gene because my parole officer calls it something.

[Adam Pali]

You know, it's interesting. Like, I. I've been drinking less. Like, noticeably less. And it's still. It's like, it's. It's a. It's like you gotta wipe it out. One glass of wine with dinner, whatever. It's like, it's still glass, it's still bad. And that's a weird thing that I'm feeling. But like, every.

[John Gabris]

What, like any step is. Any step in the right direction is like, it's objectively true that less drinking is better for you.

[Adam Pali]

Yeah, but it's still like.

[John Gabris]

Yeah, but like, it's still not great.

[Matthew Selman]

Right.

[John Gabris]

Just a little bit of cocaine is still dangerous. You know what I mean?

[Matthew Selman]

Never done it.

[John Gabris]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Pali]

Really? You've never done any drug? Where did you go to school?

[Matthew Selman]

I went to college. Same college as Nagel. University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia. But I'm older than her and.

[Adam Pali]

But that's not a big party school, Ivy League style.

[Matthew Selman]

I think it is sort of, I think party enough. It's not like Big ten party, but it was pretty party.

[Adam Pali]

But there is a difference. As someone that went to the University of Arizona. Oh, yeah, Difference.

[John Gabris]

I'm just saying, like, that's like more of a. That's like a party that happens to give out college credit.

[Adam Pali]

No, but. Yes, but even like a university, Michigan is akin to it. Even though it's a good school. It's like those schools are. Yeah. Wow. When you're in an Ivy League school, there is this sense that everyone's there for a reason.

[Matthew Selman]

Right.

[John Gabris]

Was lifting and fitness a part of your younger years too? Or is this a later adaptation or a later adoption of it?

[Matthew Selman]

You know, it really started. I remember My dad, when I was like a pudgy teenager, encouraged me to go to the gym and do workouts. And I always was like, did he lift weights?

[John Gabris]

Like, what?

[Matthew Selman]

He's like a runner. He was like a runner. He's still alive, but he's fat now,

[Adam Pali]

so we don't talk to him.

[John Gabris]

But he's probably still alive because he was a runner. Maybe.

[Adam Pali]

Yeah, maybe.

[Matthew Selman]

But like, you know, I came out here in 1993. I graduated in 1993. I moved to LA in 1993 with dreams of, of sitcom fun times and wearing jeans to work and getting free lunch. And then the free lunches started to come. And then stuff started that bad stuff started to happen.

[John Gabris]

I mean, sit down for 12 hours at a comedy.

[Adam Pali]

Writer's tale is all this time.

[Matthew Selman]

Right.

[Adam Pali]

It's like you're not eating because you can't afford it.

[Matthew Selman]

And I just. So I really started working out in my 20s. The LA Fit. No, it's 24 Hour Fitness. Well, I, the I. My first job was on Seinfeld.

[Adam Pali]

Whoa.

[Matthew Selman]

But I was like. Heard of it. I know you've heard of it. We all heard it.

[John Gabris]

We.

[Matthew Selman]

I was sort of the short version of the story is season six or whatever. Or season six or nine, whatever. That was both Larry David and my last season on Seinfeld.

[Adam Pali]

And so what did you do to piss off Spike? Ferencing.

[Matthew Selman]

I certainly wasn't something wasn't prepared for the politics of someone like Spike. Lovely man, funny man. But he survived Letterman for 100 years. And I'm. This is like my first job from some super dweeb who through the accidental fuck up of the universe got this job.

[Adam Pali]

Right.

[Matthew Selman]

I was not ready for how to

[Adam Pali]

be in a writer's room or there

[Matthew Selman]

wasn't a writer's room. It was all solo work. And then you would just pitch stuff to Larry and Jerry. We couldn't even email them. They didn't even have email.

[John Gabris]

Whoa.

[Matthew Selman]

So it was like going. Going to your office and then thinking of stuff and then pitching it to them. And then I was fired. But. And they had a buff. More importantly, Seinfeld had a buffet style lunch. And so like with buffet style sitcom lunches is the worst. There's zero portion control.

[Adam Pali]

Yeah. Like you can't almost like. It's almost like get what you can while you can.

[Matthew Selman]

You can't use willpower. Like I can now can use willpower to say, I'm gonna get salmon and vegetables right from the menu.

[John Gabris]

Yeah.

[Matthew Selman]

Back then it was just like, here's infinite Sushi here's infinite burgers, whatever. Delicious. You know Larry and Jared, that was number one show on tv. They had infinite spread every day. And so you're anxious, your first job, you know, you're floundering and sucking and what's the solution? Chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp. I think I once ate so much sushi that I threw up in the bathroom. I just remembered that that was because it was there. Because it was there and I was so anxious I didn't know what else to do other than eat. Eat.

[John Gabris]

I know that feeling though too where like it's like when you're at like a work drinks and you're like, oh, what am I doing here? And then you have six more drinks than you're supposed.

[Adam Pali]

I feel that way at like a cousin's cousin's cocktail party. Like a wedding of a cousin that I don't know that well. It's like, well, I don't know what I'm gonna do but eat. Start running. Like the entrance.

[Matthew Selman]

So then I would. So then I really started exercising. I joined gyms. I used to run a lot. I stopped running now because just. That's really hard on your body.

[Adam Pali]

I know. I'm in a running phase.

[Matthew Selman]

Like I love running. I mean I love it. I feel like every step is, could be the last.

[Adam Pali]

It's really hard. It only started to hurt me recently. But I, I.

[John Gabris]

Every step could be the last. Like the most depressing like I know it is.

[Adam Pali]

That should be the HOKA commercial.

[John Gabris]

Should be your last.

[Adam Pali]

You might as well have a ton of padding. But like I, I've been running a lot but I've been supplementing it with push ups in the run.

[Matthew Selman]

That's great. I love that.

[Adam Pali]

It's awesome. It's. I used to do that and it really does cut you like fartle. It shreds you like because you're like. It bumps your heart rate back into it. But I was doing it for about four months, feeling really good and running

[Matthew Selman]

around New York, which is fun because

[Adam Pali]

you're always in New Zealand.

[Matthew Selman]

Oh, New Zealand.

[Adam Pali]

It was great.

[Matthew Selman]

Oh my God. What city?

[Adam Pali]

Auckland.

[Matthew Selman]

Okay.

[Adam Pali]

It was great.

[Matthew Selman]

Love it.

[Adam Pali]

It was just like. And, and then I got back to New York and I had to go on a treadmill because it was cold. And the last month on the treadmill, I don't know, I'm just like hurting and sore. My knees hurt.

[John Gabris]

I think treadmill is probably worse for you than road.

[Adam Pali]

I think so. But, but also I'm like So it's

[Matthew Selman]

exact same movement again and again. Repetitive.

[Adam Pali]

Yeah. But then I'm also like, God, I'm 44. Like, I've been. I was running like seven.

[Matthew Selman]

Your hair looks good, though.

[Adam Pali]

Thank you. That's the one thing that's. The Jews, you know, can knock on wood.

[John Gabris]

Some Italians too.

[Matthew Selman]

So, like. Yeah.

[John Gabris]

I mean, holy.

[Matthew Selman]

You guys both have great hair. Yeah, me too. So it's looking pretty good, I think. You know, just like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. People didn't think that was gonna happen. Look at my doughboys hat, by the way.

[Adam Pali]

Guys.

[Matthew Selman]

Cross podcast.

[Adam Pali]

See, they have good merch. Yeah, our merch was terrible.

[Matthew Selman]

This is a good. This is a good hat.

[Adam Pali]

Yeah.

[Matthew Selman]

Very good merch.

[Adam Pali]

Subtle.

[Matthew Selman]

Subtle.

[Adam Pali]

Bright teal with our faces and like the.

[John Gabris]

The whatchamacallit. The Hippocratic, like, Snake stab is like, when we look at. On paper, it all made sense. And then when you starts coming in, you're like, this is really intense.

[Adam Pali]

Like the. We gotta fix. We gotta fix our vibe. So. So you're on. You're. You're writing on that show on Seinfeld. You're eating. You get fired and get fired. And then I. Now you're fat and fat and like,

[Matthew Selman]

feel like I. I had the. The greatest. You know, I up the. Up the. My big break. I up my big break. Yeah. Bad feeling. So.

[John Gabris]

But also that in between jobs is like, a great time to reset your fitness.

[Matthew Selman]

So I. I really started going to the gym a lot. And I think that we all. We all use the word privilege a lot.

[Adam Pali]

Right.

[Matthew Selman]

These days to talk about everything. And it's kind of a buzzword. But I do think I sort of have genetic privilege in that my body wants. Is happy to be a certain musculature and shape.

[John Gabris]

Right.

[Matthew Selman]

And like, it comes a little easier to me than most people. Like, you know, obviously most fitness influencers are in the 0.1% of natural body mass and skeletal structure and fat in if, you know, metabolism. And everyone's like, why can't I have that? Because you who don't have genetic privilege. Right, Right.

[John Gabris]

It's like people who are like, I'm doing Tom Brady's routine, or I'm doing LeBron James's routine. It's like, yes, great for they. I have a great training regimen, but those guys are the 0.001% of genetics.

[Matthew Selman]

And I think I'm in, like, the 5%, right? Pretty good.

[Adam Pali]

Yeah. 22. According to your phone.

[Matthew Selman]

You take it all together, right?

[Adam Pali]

No, no. 5%.

[Matthew Selman]

Like, but I got. I Saw results. It just felt great. But I, I love being sore. Like not hurt sore.

[John Gabris]

We're talking about the doms, the delayed onset muscle.

[Matthew Selman]

So which of course you, the more you're working out, the harder it is to get sore.

[Adam Pali]

Yeah.

[Matthew Selman]

And it's actually being sore means you don't work out enough. But it's still a great feeling of amazingness.

[John Gabris]

Well, it's like again, blanket umbrella privilege statement here. Like if you don't dig ditches or like, like put up sheetrock for a living. You, when you lift weights, you feel like, oh, I used my body right today. And like, you know, it's like when your back hurts from like muscle soreness and not from just sitting like a gargoyle at your laptop. That's a, that's a vibe.

[Adam Pali]

So then what card, what are you doing? Cardio.

[Matthew Selman]

So cardio is mainly now peloton biking and peloton walking we bought. With the insurance money, we bought a peloton treadmill.

[John Gabris]

I was very curious.

[Matthew Selman]

Which kind of approximates the woodway. You know the woodway with the super soft tread, like the one at the gym. That's $20,000 that no one can own. Peloton has their version of that, which is very soft tread. And I'll just do like an hour walk or an hour like, you know, incline up, down, alternate, whatever, walk in addition to what else I'm doing. Or I'll walk with my wife.

[Adam Pali]

Outside.

[Matthew Selman]

Outside.

[Adam Pali]

But, but you're, you're getting that in socially. Yeah. And not as focused as when you were running.

[Matthew Selman]

Right. But I don't really do the running anymore. I feel like the running is in the past. I mean, I would maybe do like a walk run where like run a little bit, walk a little.

[Adam Pali]

But that's what I like about this push up program that I've been doing because it's like, it's.

[Matthew Selman]

I would like to get more push ups back in the system.

[Adam Pali]

Push up push ups have been good. It's the only thing I've done. I, I got.

[Matthew Selman]

Should we do a push up contest?

[Adam Pali]

We could definitely do one. I mean, I don't, I did a bunch.

[John Gabris]

You could definitely lose one.

[Adam Pali]

I'm already, I'm already 150 in today. What I did, I did a.

[Matthew Selman]

Okay, let's not.

[Adam Pali]

I, I, the. Do you know the Tabata app? Yeah, no, the Tabata app is just this timing app that some trainer invented.

[John Gabris]

Yeah, TABATA Timing is 20 seconds on, 10 seconds off for eight rounds.

[Adam Pali]

Right. But you can, you can adjust. So I adjusted it to go 15 rounds of three minute on.

[Matthew Selman]

Wow.

[Adam Pali]

One minute rest. And in that one minute rest, I do 10 push ups.

[John Gabris]

Oh, hell yeah. So you're doing three minutes on the tread. Jumping off.

[Adam Pali]

Doing, jumping off.

[Matthew Selman]

Oh, I see, I see. I thought you meant three minutes of solid push ups. No, no, that's pretty good.

[Adam Pali]

So you do three minutes. So you're running at the cardio and sometimes you go up and sometimes you go down, whatever you're, you're doing. But then at that three, when that buzzer goes off at three minutes, you pause it, you go down, you do 10 push ups, you get back on, you bring your speed back up.

[Matthew Selman]

I mean, now I feel like I want to do that again.

[Adam Pali]

It's good. It. When it's good, it's good.

[Matthew Selman]

Like a nice, not a hot day, a nice cloudy day. That'd be great.

[Adam Pali]

Like on the west side highway when it's like 75 degrees.

[Matthew Selman]

Right.

[Adam Pali]

And it, you know, because I'm an actor and it's two in the afternoon and, and you're. And there's not a lot of people and you, the, the beep goes off and you, you go down to do a push up on the concrete and there's like the Hudson River. It's, it's amazing.

[John Gabris]

There's like the Queen Mary, like, you know.

[Adam Pali]

Yeah.

[John Gabris]

It's like boats and there's.

[Adam Pali]

And you do it the whole way down, the whole. And then the whole way back. It's like really great. When today in, at the London gym when I was like hitting pause on the treadmill and people were like, are you done? And I was like, I'm doing it. You know, it's like, it's a little less fun.

[John Gabris]

Yeah. The hardest thing to do at a gym is superseding sets.

[Adam Pali]

Yes.

[John Gabris]

Because you're like, especially like something. Because I like to do contrast like dumbbell press with pull downs. And then like you leave to go to vac and someone's on the pull down.

[Adam Pali]

ADHD working out.

[John Gabris]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that, that works for me and I really, I really like that. I, I just started running again recently because I entered in.

[Matthew Selman]

How's your body feel afterwards?

[John Gabris]

Not bad. I've also. I'm 35 pounds lighter now than when I like last year.

[Matthew Selman]

Healthy.

[John Gabris]

Thank you.

[Adam Pali]

Yeah, you're gonna feel better.

[John Gabris]

So the run, I did a three mile run shirtless through West Hollywood. I was feeling my feel. Got a couple of rounds of applause from some ladies. Well, high five from another lady. I think a little, you know, eye from some Some of the local bears. Yeah. Well, that's a gentleman.

[Matthew Selman]

You attracted a trail of bears behind you. He does when he's shambling after.

[Adam Pali]

He's basically a pot of honey.

[John Gabris]

Yeah. Pretty much like a CIA honey pot. But only for like gay bodybuilder guys. Do you have a favorite lift or when. Or something that's on the. When your trainer's like. And today we're doing blank. That you get hyped about.

[Matthew Selman]

Well.

[John Gabris]

Or that you're like impress yourself with how good you are at it or something like that.

[Matthew Selman]

Well, I'll just say there's a machine at Golds. It's kind of a two handed chest press. So you like you kind of good stretch.

[John Gabris]

Yeah.

[Matthew Selman]

Do a really deep stretch. Go all the way up. Even though. But it's not a free weight either. It's on a machine.

[John Gabris]

Yeah.

[Adam Pali]

So you have to do two at the same time.

[Matthew Selman]

You do two at the same time. But there's some wiggle room. And that to me is just my favorite exercise.

[Adam Pali]

It's almost like an incline.

[Matthew Selman]

Yeah. Slightly.

[John Gabris]

Is it the hammer strength with the two bars?

[Matthew Selman]

It's not hammer. It's.

[John Gabris]

It's just.

[Matthew Selman]

It's similar that.

[John Gabris]

Yeah. I like ones that are independent because then you could do like.

[Matthew Selman]

Yeah.

[John Gabris]

One at a time and really this.

[Matthew Selman]

You can do one at a time and you've great range of motion. You can go really heavy and not have to worry about hurting yourself.

[John Gabris]

Right.

[Matthew Selman]

And you just feel like you're using your body to its fullest.

[Adam Pali]

Yeah.

[Matthew Selman]

So like that's the thing. But I've also been loving this leg stuff.

[Adam Pali]

Squats are. Squats are the number one thing that everyone says will keep you living. Yeah. Squats. Squats.

[Matthew Selman]

Yeah. There's a longevity. My workout is definitely a little longitivity based now. More than like super jackitude than trying

[John Gabris]

to break your best in the one.

[Adam Pali]

Are you the most jacked right around the staff right now?

[Matthew Selman]

I mean in some metrics the probably people are better cardio. Maybe people that are like leaner. But I think in terms of like.

[Adam Pali]

Right. I think that's important in a writer's room.

[Matthew Selman]

You know I would.

[John Gabris]

I would be the first showrunner I have respect for if they could bench more than me.

[Adam Pali]

Well, they say when they say, and I know Nangle did this. When you get hired, first thing you do is you go up to the strongest person.

[John Gabris]

Yeah. It's prison. It's prison roles. You gotta keep asking all the Harvard guys. Who's the strongest?

[Adam Pali]

Him.

[Matthew Selman]

You're sure?

[Adam Pali]

All right. Yeah.

[John Gabris]

Only in the Simpsons writers room can Selman be the alpha.

[Matthew Selman]

Some of the, you know, strength is. I mean, I've never really tracked my strength as much as I just want to challenge myself every time I go. But I wasn't like saying like, this is what I'm benching, this is what I'm whatevering.

[John Gabris]

Right.

[Matthew Selman]

I'm definitely the most kind of workout crazy person at work. Yeah. But it's a kind of a fit staff and people like want to eat healthy and. Yeah, we don't.

[John Gabris]

It's like that 20 something writers versus the 40 something writers where everything kind of changed. Like that's what the entire genesis of this show was.

[Adam Pali]

Yeah.

[John Gabris]

Our conversations just shift from like fucking hash oil to fish oil.

[Matthew Selman]

Right. I mean, I'm. There you go. Like I'm trying, you know, we had work lunch. I really try to get like just chicken breast, broccoli, salmon, asparagus. Like, don't.

[Adam Pali]

How are you cheating? When are you cheating?

[Matthew Selman]

Well, tonight we have a Simpsons kind of a work event, a fun work event where we do like a fantasy football thing for like summer movies.

[Adam Pali]

And it's.

[Matthew Selman]

We've been doing it for. For like almost 20 years now. And if you win, you get a big banner that we hang in the writers room. Did you remember when you came inside the board? Remember those banners?

[Adam Pali]

Yes. That was the summer movie.

[Matthew Selman]

That's the summer movie thing.

[Adam Pali]

So you're doing the draft tonight?

[Matthew Selman]

So we're doing the draft tonight. So we ordered Bloodso's barbecue. So like I'm gonna eat a lot. I'm not gonna like hold back. No. With blood. So Blood SOS is this fantastic. Los Angeles. Love it. Barbecue place. Fantastic brisket. There's fantastic ribs.

[John Gabris]

I'm a big, big.

[Matthew Selman]

Their wings are so meaty. Those are like turkey wings.

[Adam Pali]

Yeah.

[John Gabris]

You get like small drumsticks. Yeah, it's so.

[Matthew Selman]

And they, they're like lightly fried. So you kind of think this is just protein.

[John Gabris]

Yeah, it feels like that. And they're. They got that smoky flavor in the barbecue sauce.

[Matthew Selman]

They're so good.

[John Gabris]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Matthew Selman]

And also for. For Thanksgiving, order that for your Thanksgiving. Makes life easy. Anyway, Blood sos So you can do brisket and the gym on Venice.

[Adam Pali]

I'll.

[Matthew Selman]

Yeah, brisket, ribs. And they're ordering it. So that's going to be.

[Adam Pali]

There's two blood. So there's one.

[Matthew Selman]

There's one in Santa Monica, one on La Bre.

[Adam Pali]

Right.

[John Gabris]

That's the one by the.

[Adam Pali]

I like the brisket. I feel like that's.

[Matthew Selman]

They have really Great brisket.

[Adam Pali]

The brisket is like so not stringy. It's like perfectly.

[Matthew Selman]

No they're. They know what they're doing for sure.

[John Gabris]

Selman, thank you so much for coming.

[Matthew Selman]

Can I give you one more hack?

[John Gabris]

Of course.

[Matthew Selman]

Let him tell us. It's fine.

[Adam Pali]

He's made a list.

[Matthew Selman]

It's an anti drinking hack we have. It's a. It's a. If you're looking to cut back on your drinking. You know what a Michelada is?

[John Gabris]

Yeah.

[Matthew Selman]

Of course you know. Of course you know.

[Adam Pali]

Is it the tomato?

[John Gabris]

Yeah.

[Matthew Selman]

But it's not always tomato. It's like a. It's like a beer and a Bloody Mary with Bloody Mary. But it could also just be like hot sauces and vinegars and spices.

[John Gabris]

I like actually a ch which is just the salt, lime and ice. And beer.

[Adam Pali]

No.

[John Gabris]

No tomato.

[Matthew Selman]

But you do that with a non alcoholic beer. Everyone else is drinking. You want to drink. But you put a non alcoholic beer Michelada. You'll never know it's other than the lack of alcohol. But taste wise you'll never know this is a non alcoholic experience. And then you.

[Adam Pali]

Non alcoholic beer is a bummer.

[John Gabris]

Bummer.

[Matthew Selman]

Yeah. By itself it's a bummer.

[John Gabris]

Some of them are okay.

[Adam Pali]

Still.

[John Gabris]

It's Heineken.

[Matthew Selman]

000 but this you get the Michelada not alcohol.

[Adam Pali]

It feels tropical.

[Matthew Selman]

Yeah. You're ever. You're participating in the socialization of something.

[John Gabris]

Yeah.

[Matthew Selman]

Spicy and delicious without like the gains. Killing destructiveness of. Of alcohol.

[John Gabris]

Yeah.

[Adam Pali]

That's crazy that we learned something.

[John Gabris]

I've learned a lot today.

[Adam Pali]

What else you got on that list?

[Matthew Selman]

I don't know. I just want to make sure it's

[John Gabris]

like dog food tastes good.

[Adam Pali]

Yeah. He's all this stuff to with us.

[John Gabris]

Send me videos of you guys on all fours eating out of dog food bowls.

[Adam Pali]

We need it for the show.

[Matthew Selman]

This is like my stand. My stand up notes which I don't do stand up. But the only last thing I have to say is this is so bad. Every podcast person who listens to me on a podcast their takeaway is why does he have that job? But that's why is there. I don't think men's rooms need lotion and soap. I think we just need soap.

[Adam Pali]

I don't think you understand what this podcast is.

[Matthew Selman]

I don't think I see the rules. The number of times.

[Adam Pali]

Listen Bill Maher. We don't care about it either.

[Matthew Selman]

Number of times I act. I don't want lotion.

[John Gabris]

No.

[Adam Pali]

I actually agree with you.

[Matthew Selman]

Just want to clean my hands.

[Adam Pali]

I have that in my mother in law's all the time because. And I recently. Because the soap ran out.

[Matthew Selman]

Yeah.

[Adam Pali]

So someone threw it away way. But the lotion has not run out because no one clicks the lotion yet now that the lotion's there. Every time I and I wash my hands, I end up putting a bunch of lotion on my hands because it's

[John Gabris]

water doesn't get the lotion and then

[Matthew Selman]

the water lotion on your hands.

[Adam Pali]

Yes. And now the is ingrained in the lotion.

[Matthew Selman]

Yes.

[Adam Pali]

I think lotion should go out of the bathroom.

[Matthew Selman]

I agree. There's so many other places who have lotion.

[Adam Pali]

Yeah. Well, I could just use the one for my pocket.

[John Gabris]

The one in your. Put it in the basket. Right.

[Matthew Selman]

The pre show no masturbation lotion. Yes.

[Adam Pali]

Just like Bill.

[Matthew Selman]

Yes. Come full circle. Here we go. All right, I'll shut up. That's enough talking.

[Adam Pali]

Salman. You're the best.

[Matthew Selman]

You guys are the best. Thank you.

[John Gabris]

And so where can we. Where can we watch this show you were telling us about?

[Matthew Selman]

Okay. Disney plus streaming on Disney plus.

[Adam Pali]

If you want to plug this new show.

[Matthew Selman]

It's on Hulu. We've got.

[John Gabris]

It's on a lot of tank tops in. In Venice Boardwalk store.

[Matthew Selman]

A lot of.

[Adam Pali]

You can find a bunch of tattoos in Point Pleasant, New Jersey with these characters.

[Matthew Selman]

Well, the world of Simpsons tattoos is a amazing world. And we keep wanting to put them on the show but legally you can't because they belong to the tattoo artist and the skin owner.

[John Gabris]

Even though it's characters.

[Matthew Selman]

I know so but like complicated. They're so funny and so weird and so crazy and.

[John Gabris]

Oh, I've been. I've been toying with either Space Coyote or Duff man as Duffman because I just love Duff man.

[Matthew Selman]

Says a lot of not manosphere Podcaster.

[Adam Pali]

No, no, I have that on my hip back.

[John Gabris]

You have your own like huge cave beer. I want to get die Bar. Die.

[Matthew Selman]

No. So we. Well, okay, wait, hold on. I'm sorry. I said I was up. So we have some really cool streaming episodes coming up on Disney plus that are a little more cinematic and crazy and wild and like because they're only. You only see them on streaming. They're exclusive to Disney plus. Cool.

[Adam Pali]

When do we. When do those.

[Matthew Selman]

One is. They're. They're. We're spreading them out over the summer. I don't have the dates.

[Adam Pali]

Cool.

[Matthew Selman]

But one is a. Our first. It's an out. You know we do trilogies like Halloween trilogy and this is a hour well out full Double length trilogy. So it's a 40 minute episode with three giant massive parodies, but. And a full emotional wraparound story which you don't have time for. And there are three different distinct animation and craziness styles which I'm really proud of. And another one which I just saw last night was this a black and white Simpsons take on the talented Mr. Ripley. The show and the movie and the books and this. It's just a work of art. I'm so proud of it. I'm so proud of the writers and producers who do this work. And I can kind of put my name on it.

[Adam Pali]

Does Ralph play the Philip Seymour Hoff?

[Matthew Selman]

No, Skinner plays this Philip Seymour Hoff.

[Adam Pali]

That's good.

[Matthew Selman]

But there is like a Ralph. It's just like, it's a. It's so. It's so beautiful and like cinematic and the music and this terrific writer, Cesar Mazarigos, he did it all. And I just got to like sit back and watch it and. Which that's. Oh, that's the dream of a producer. Just of other people do it and you watch it and be like, that's good. I didn't have to do anything and

[Adam Pali]

my name gets to go on it.

[Matthew Selman]

Right.

[John Gabris]

Great work.

[Matthew Selman]

So anyway, just check it out. Check out the Simpsons on Disney plus this summer. There's some really crazy stuff. I'm very proud of it.

[Adam Pali]

Thank you guys. Thank you so much, Maddie.

[John Gabris]

Thank you. Salman. This is a treat.

[Matthew Selman]

It's a treat.

[John Gabris]

Hello. Looking for a salmon? I'm Matthewson. I'm going to mo.

[Adam Pali]

Allow.

[John Gabris]

Allow. Is there a cellman here? I sell men. Oh,

[Adam Pali]

he. That was all. He's just the. The best.

[John Gabris]

He's so cool. He made me want to go. I want to leave here and do some hang power cleans and then go

[Adam Pali]

eat like, go eat a fancy meal.

[John Gabris]

Oh, I know.

[Adam Pali]

Yeah. Power cleans. I got to get back in the lift. He makes me feel. He was very complimentary about my. My conditioning right now, but looking at him is making me go like, I gotta. I gotta start lifting again.

[John Gabris]

Yeah. I think adding the push ups into the tread is such a smart move. Keeps you up in the zone too. Get some like extra resistance training in there. And that's something you could do at every hotel and every travel thing you do. So it's like, makes total sense. But yeah, of course, lifting some weights, that shit's gonna.

[Adam Pali]

But there are times when like my knees have been sore and I'm like, oh, how you lift weights? Or I could just run my five miles and, like, do my push ups and that'll do it too, right? You know, it's like, it's hard to change that scope. But he's, he, he definitely gave me, like, a reason to think, oh, maybe I shouldn't be pounding my knees like that. Maybe I should be lifting weights and get the same result.

[John Gabris]

He also talked about, like, work lunches. The way I kind of see it now too, where it's just like, grab some salmon, grab some vegetables, grab some chicken, grab some vegetables. I like, now choose when I go off. Like, and like, that's like, I, I credit GLP ones and also willpower. But combined, I now can, like, choose when I want to go off the rails.

[Adam Pali]

I think that's the most important thing about learning adult lunches anyway.

[John Gabris]

Yeah.

[Adam Pali]

Because when you're a kid, lunch is a meal. And I used to look at meals as just like, well, there are a couple things I like to eat.

[Matthew Selman]

Yeah.

[John Gabris]

It's like, and I want, I want this meal to be a treat.

[Adam Pali]

Right. Or it's like, here's my lunch foods. They're this kind of sandwich. That kind of sandwich. Pizza.

[Matthew Selman]

Yeah.

[Adam Pali]

This here's my dinner food. There's steak, there's chicken.

[John Gabris]

Right, Right. Exactly.

[Adam Pali]

You know what I mean? Here's my breakfast food. There's cereal, there's pancakes, there's. It's just like, that's what it was. And then you start to go like, well, maybe it's not.

[John Gabris]

Yeah, maybe I can have salad for dinner.

[Adam Pali]

Yeah, maybe it's not all necessary to be like, in this, in this way.

[John Gabris]

Well, also, you have to have some experience in the industry too, because the free food element, like, activates like the poor clean your plate club kid, like

[Adam Pali]

I was talk about all the time.

[John Gabris]

And then you're like, get there. And you're like, whoa, they're making quesadillas. Pass them around on set. And then I think writers have the unique advantage of like, they work five days a week in the room. So, like, you go, like, we actually have to figure out a healthy app. Like, I'm always a day player, so if I wanted to, I could just be like, wait, it's buffalo chicken wraps. I'll, I'll grab two. You know, but you eventually get to a point where you're like, I do better at work if I eat healthy at lunch. And then if I. Thursday night, I'm going out to dinner with Pally, I'll. I'll, I'll be clean until then.

[Adam Pali]

I think that's another thing where you're like your day playing is still the job. Right. It's like what you're learning is that like you're not just day playing. That's just the day you're at that job.

[John Gabris]

Right, Right.

[Adam Pali]

And so in that day you're gonna, you're gonna stay consistent and not go off. Right. And like that's something especially because like

[John Gabris]

maybe the three days before I wasn't on set, but I was trying to eat clean. And now I'm on set today, so I might be a 15 hour day where I don't get to work out.

[Adam Pali]

Right.

[John Gabris]

So it's like, well, I can't go. I can't also eat like dog.

[Adam Pali]

Right. I think.

[John Gabris]

And I also need to be. Not lunch, you know, which is my biggest thing.

[Adam Pali]

Like I, I really battle like when I eat and then I. I crash and like.

[John Gabris]

Yeah.

[Adam Pali]

To, to especially like days with big monologues and stuff. Like it is so hard.

[John Gabris]

Yeah.

[Adam Pali]

To come.

[John Gabris]

I've gotten really good at like a eating, you know, lean protein and veggies with my lunch. And then a post lunch coffee to be like, that's my treat.

[Adam Pali]

Right?

[John Gabris]

That's the treat. And then it'll give me like the juice to get me through the back

[Adam Pali]

half of the day. That's very nice. Yeah. I feel like it's just all changed. You're doing when like I was doing a TV show. So like some days it's regular, some days it's a split. Yeah. And then a split is like an 11am call time. So you can work it. You wake up same and you work out in the morning, but you don't start working until what is lunchtime?

[John Gabris]

Yeah. And you don't rap until what's the middle of the night?

[Adam Pali]

Right. So it's like now you're all up, you know, so it's like it's always just. Every day is just a different. Different things. So you want to just be able to be like, I know I'm going off on the weekend, so for the time that's not the weekend right now.

[John Gabris]

What we're describing might be slightly disordered eating, but it is like weirdly works for. Because I want my. I want to treat myself and in order to treat myself, that can only be like 20 of my meals. Or maybe the way we should have

[Adam Pali]

been thinking all along.

[John Gabris]

All along.

[Adam Pali]

Which is like you all good things in moderation.

[John Gabris]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Adam Pali]

Baby steps.

[John Gabris]

Baby steps, Bob.

[Adam Pali]

Stay alive.

[John Gabris]

Fuck you.

[Adam Pali]

I had that in my pocket for 20 minutes.

[John Gabris]

Just gonna wait. Oh, stay alive. You have been listening to Staying Alive with John Gabris and Adam Pali. A Smartless Media production in association with SiriusXM.

[Adam Pali]

Produced by Devin Tory Bryant and Anne Harris. Engineered and edited by Devin Tory Bryant, who also wrote the music.

[John Gabris]

Associate producer and video producer is Matty McCann. Social media producer Tommy Galgano.

[Adam Pali]

Assistant engineer Kyle McGraw. Special thanks to Jared O' Connell at SiriusXM.

[John Gabris]

Executive producers are John Gabris. Ooh me. Adam Pali. Ooh you Will Arnett, Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, Richard Corson and Bernie Kaminski. Do us a favor, just rate and review the podcast. It actually helps.

[Adam Pali]

Just so everyone knows we do not

[John Gabris]

have a discord, don't reach out to

[Adam Pali]

see us on the street. Walk the other way or you'll catch hands.

[John Gabris]

This is such a random aside, but along the same lines. I got asked to go to a major league rugby match and go to a VIP drinks before and I was like, oh perfect. So I smoked a J walking up to the UCLA campus, went to these VIP drinks, gas like four beers. And the guy and I thought we were just all supposed to be sitting around vibing. I don't know anybody. He I thought it would be more rugby players, but it's all like, like business guys. And then I'm like crossfaded sitting there going like these Barcelona gluten free beers are great. I'm having a bunch more than the guy goes. And I like to just bring up one guy to give a few couple of words. His name's John Gabriel.

[Matthew Selman]

Speaking at this thing, I'm just like,

[John Gabris]

I was doing like the nervous drinking because I didn't know how to talk to anyone.

[Matthew Selman]

I think if there's anyone I trust to do a solid off the top of your head drunk rugby group business speech, it's you.

[John Gabris]

Yeah, I know. I was able to run.

[Adam Pali]

I'm sure you kind of a perfect storm of aw. Audience meets host.

[John Gabris]

Yeah, I pulled it off.

[Adam Pali]

Smart.

[John Gabris]

Less media.

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