
On the Season 2 premiere of Staying Alive, hosts Jon Gabrus and Adam Pally have leveled up with their first guest, the hilarious writer, director, and former sleep apnea monster Zoe Lister-Jones (The Craft: Legacy, The Miniature Wife, New Girl). They’ll compare notes on medications, talk about taking calls on the colonic table, having healers on both coasts, dietary restrictions, getting too settled with a therapist, and Zoe’s baby bangs backstory. Plus, Pally climbs Mount Giudice, Gabrus is this whole airplane's husband, and Zoe’s show Slip is back on streaming! This is, surprisingly, the most anyone has ever used the word “laser” on Staying Alive. Follow Zoe @zoelisterjones on socials, check out Slip and The Miniature Wife on Peacock! Full video episodes available HERE. Check out Staying Alive merch at siriusxmstore.com/stayingalive This episode was recorded 420 at Forever Dog in Los Angeles CA Special thanks to Brett Boham Staying Alive is produced by Devon Torrey Bryant and ...
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Zoe Lister-Jones
Smart.
Adam Pally
Bless me. My agent called me the other day and goes, I got an audition. Some or someone called to ask if you would read for a western. And I said, no, Is that okay? And I was like, what? And he was like, I just thought, what are we doing? I was like, I could do a western.
John Gabris
You're like, I'm one of those guys who's like, there were Jewish cowboys.
Adam Pally
But then I'm like, why am I going to go down that road? So I was just like. I was like, I could. I could do it. He's like, oh, do you have a western? You have an accent. And I was like, why not? And then I'm like. In my head, I'm like, starting. I'm like, oh, yeah, partner.
John Gabris
Like.
Adam Pally
So I was just like, I don't. I didn't work on one. And he's like, right. So, like. Like, let's just let it go. And I'm like, all right.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Crazy.
Adam Pally
I know. I was like, all right. And he's like, moving on, you know, we'll get something.
Zoe Lister-Jones
He's like, you might have faith in yourself, but I have no faith in you.
Adam Pally
I don't have faith in you.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Stretching right now, you guys, before you
Adam Pally
stret, you have to run. And you've been kind of.
John Gabris
That's the expression. Well, eventually you got to learn to run before you can learn to stretch.
Adam Pally
Well, otherwise, what are you stretching for or from? You're just, like, sitting in the gym, bent over, like there's nothing else.
John Gabris
Now. You know my workout plan on Mondays, it's chest and tries Wednesdays back. And by Friday, I'm just bent over. We got a good one today, pals.
Adam Pally
We have an amazing one today.
John Gabris
We have a big one. Your bud, I. I met.
Adam Pally
When I met her.
John Gabris
Through you, she rules.
Adam Pally
She's the best. Yeah, Best ever. She's. I have. I have so many different kinds of relationships with her because, like, she wrote and directed me in a movie that she also. She also acted and cast me in.
John Gabris
And.
Adam Pally
And so she's like, I revere her as my director. Right. In a way, you know, like, I still want to impress her. I still want her to, like, that she picked me.
John Gabris
Right, Right.
Adam Pally
You know, like, I feel like that feeling never goes away.
John Gabris
Of course.
Adam Pally
And then on top of them, to pick you again. Exactly. Or just keep picking you. Right, right. And then. And then on top of it, she's also one of my close friends. So we have, like. Because we did the movie 10 years ago, so our lives have gone through these, you know, Huge shifts and stuff. And so we just text all the time. And then on a third thing. She's so hot, right?
John Gabris
Yeah, the third one really hits for me.
Adam Pally
Yeah.
John Gabris
I'm not really good friends with her. Met her through you. She rules. But, yeah, she's objectively beautiful.
Adam Pally
Yeah. Yeah. Yes. There's like.
John Gabris
And that's the thing, because, like, that's the one thing we. Now that we know we're doing a video podcast, we want to have. We have hot hosts already. We got to have more hot guests, so it's. It's working out great.
Adam Pally
I know. And thank God that Zoe said yes, because she's the hottest person I know.
John Gabris
Yeah.
Adam Pally
I know more hot people.
John Gabris
I know a few more, but they don't know me.
Adam Pally
I don't think that qualifies.
John Gabris
No, I know them from a distance. I have photos of them from.
Adam Pally
You have to use the word distance next time. You can't skip that word next time, because when you don't use distance, when you go, I know these people. Yeah. It's different.
John Gabris
Yeah. People don't realize that I'm not actually friends with Stefania Model. You've got deep cut.
Adam Pally
Let's get to the interview. Zoe Lister Jones. You're. Are you. This is a huge press store. Are you tired? This is a huge.
John Gabris
Obviously, it's a huge press store. You're hitting all the big ones.
Adam Pally
Well, no, this is like, dog, you're. But you. You're on my phone. Besides, we text every day. But you're on my phone more than, like, you're in the feed. You're in it.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Really?
Adam Pally
Yeah.
Zoe Lister-Jones
That's exciting.
Adam Pally
Yeah, you are.
Zoe Lister-Jones
They've been, like, really pushing Miniature Wife. It's so cool to be on a show that has money that people care about.
Adam Pally
What's that like?
Zoe Lister-Jones
I literally forgot what it was like then. I was like, billboards, like, what?
Adam Pally
I know. I feel like it doesn't exist anymore.
Zoe Lister-Jones
No.
John Gabris
But I think billboards are just for the talent. Right. Just so you can see it.
Adam Pally
That's the Hollywood. That's the Hollywood secret, right? That, like, they'll put a billboard up by the creator's house.
John Gabris
Well, yeah. Well, like Netflix has. They always get that one that's on sunset by them. And then they have a conference room that they could open the windows at. And, like, so I have a feeling like, Ryan. Like, when they have their Ryan Murphy meeting, they're like, don't worry. He's like, oh, crazy. You can see your billboard from here.
Zoe Lister-Jones
So funny. No, I hear that. But then I'm like, I think billboards work. Am I crazy? I learn about shows from billboards.
John Gabris
Oh, for sure. I frequently will. A show will just turn up on one of my streamers and I go, that's what that fucking picture is. You know, like. Like I'm like. Because, you know, I'll be driving and I'll be like, oh, cool. A beautiful person I recognize. I like. And then I don't really get the context of what it is.
Adam Pally
I think that's west coast specific or L A specific because I just. In New York, the billboards are different. They're like on cabs. They're not changed quicker.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Yeah.
John Gabris
They're carry the Carrie Bradshaw bus ad.
Adam Pally
Yeah. But they're just like, they're road. Sometimes they're really rotated slow. Well, you'll have like, yeah, a show from like a sci Fi network that doesn't even exist anymore will like go past on the M73.
John Gabris
Or you're like,
Adam Pally
yeah, yeah, but. But then. So like, I feel like a West coast thing where billboards work. Cuz in New York you're just like, every billboard is like a lawyer. It's like, have you been hurt on 57th Street?
John Gabris
Well, yeah. I like when I was like living in New York, I was commuting from like the Carol Street F stop and the subway posters were the same for the nine years I lived.
Adam Pally
Yeah. Doctor Is.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Thanks doctor That I had a doctor Zizmore. I like took it out of a subway when I was in junior high school. I grew up in Brooklyn and I put it on my wall.
John Gabris
Oh, that's awesome.
Zoe Lister-Jones
It was like.
Adam Pally
You were the coolest though. You were the coolest. Like, whatever. Whatever you're doing now to. To stay as amazingly beautiful as you've and fit as you've always been is. Is incredible. But what is also incredible about Zoe is that she was the coolest rebellious young. Like, there are pictures of Zoe at 16 that will blow your mind. That will make that.
Zoe Lister-Jones
That's you.
John Gabris
What was the. What was the vibe? Like? I've been dressing the same since I was like 13.
Zoe Lister-Jones
So the vibe was like shaved head with like baby bangs. Like skater baby bangs.
John Gabris
Oh, hell yeah.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Sometimes they were a different color. It was like big pants.
John Gabris
Yes.
Zoe Lister-Jones
And then like also like polyester, like men's leisure wear.
John Gabris
Oh, hell yeah. I would have been in love with you and never spoke to you for like. I would have been like, that is my. I would have been like, I have an absolute crush on her. I'm terrified of her. I will Never interact with her.
Adam Pally
Yeah, she was like the coolest.
John Gabris
I had like four girls like that online island we call. I called him Hot. Freak Chick was the name of like
Zoe Lister-Jones
that was my friend.
John Gabris
She had like a hello Kitty visor and I was like, hot Freak chick has got space buns and Jankos. I'm in love. Will you interact with her? God, no. I'm. I'm not talking to anyone. I got Star Wars.
Zoe Lister-Jones
I think I was just Freak Chick. And it was also like Chick Quester Mark.
John Gabris
You know, bald head and baby bangs is a choice. That's like a Dick Tracy character.
Adam Pally
Sleep apnea monster.
Zoe Lister-Jones
It was, it was, it was. And my mom, we went to Mexico together when I was in that phase. And people would be like, oh, nino. And she'd be like, no, no, no, nino. And they just thought she didn't speak Spanish. And they'd be like, no, nino sin
John Gabris
pelo esco Nino no tiene pelo.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Oh boy. Hello, Pebe.
Adam Pally
I'm picturing your mom being like, come on, let's go look at their art.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Yeah. No, we were like hitchhiking on the side of the road. Be a boy, be a boy.
John Gabris
It's actually safer for boys to hitchhike.
Zoe Lister-Jones
100%.
John Gabris
Yeah. Royal Caribbean takes next level to another level. Go all in on the world's boldest ships. Filled with mind blowing entertainment, world class dining and the largest water parks at sea. And just when you think it couldn't get any better, you'll stop at our award winning private island. Perfect day Cococay. It's an unreal adventure for everyone in the family book today@royalcaribbean.com Big time, best time, all the time. Come seek the Royal Caribbean ships registry Bahamas.
Adam Pally
I wanted to ask. We'll ask you now. What are your.
John Gabris
We're ask the one question.
Adam Pally
We don't have any.
John Gabris
They try to give us.
Adam Pally
They.
John Gabris
They stopped even giving us research on the guests because we. Adam would just grab it frantically and just read like one thing wrong. You'd be like, so you're on a lister of different Joneses. You're like, no, you are so wrong. Oh, so you went to ucla and he's like, no.
Adam Pally
You think I give a casual vibe on a movie set? And I feel like I'm. I know.
John Gabris
Yeah. Let's add more front porching.
Adam Pally
I front porch. I feel like I know that the answer because I. What are you doing to stay alive
Zoe Lister-Jones
so much?
John Gabris
Well, yeah. I mean that is no judgment from us. We have.
Adam Pally
I mean you're looking at Because I was going over my list of medications last night and I thought that like last night I was sitting and the cast was. A crew was around and I was like joking about my medications, which is real. How many medications I take for a day. And when I said the number, our friend John Daly, who was sitting next to me, went, what? In such a serious way, like, concerned that I then like. Yeah, shocked, like reproached back. And I was like, I don't think, you know, and he's like, that's a lot of pills a day.
Zoe Lister-Jones
And you're talking supplements or.
Adam Pally
No, like actual, like what I prescribed by multiple.
John Gabris
By my father.
Adam Pally
By my father. By physicians. Other physicians.
John Gabris
By the way, when you say I have to take so many pills because they were prescribed. Described to me by my father, that is like the beginning of like a sad biopic.
Adam Pally
Yeah, well, me and my dad are Gray garden just in two silk scarves. And he's telling me how Beanie felt.
John Gabris
Guitar together.
Adam Pally
He's telling me how Beanie felt. He was miscast. But no, I, like, I, you know, like, I don't think it's. We've gone over this. I. I have antidepressant.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Yeah.
Adam Pally
Adhd.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Yeah.
Adam Pally
Cholesterol, statin and reflux.
Zoe Lister-Jones
That doesn't seem crazy to me.
John Gabris
No, but that's completely reasonable.
Adam Pally
But that's, but when you.
John Gabris
That's middle aged man. That's middle aged.
Adam Pally
Yeah, that's what I even think.
Zoe Lister-Jones
That's middle aged man.
John Gabris
Yeah.
Zoe Lister-Jones
At this point, I mean. But all the kids are on that. I'm on five.
Adam Pally
But. But still, when I was like, I took five pills to stay alive. I was. People were like, whoa. So you will, you will get no judgment.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, well, you know, I don't really do the pharmaceuticals, but I'm hitting the hyperbaric chambers. I'm doing colon.
John Gabris
You're more of a.
Adam Pally
Do your own research.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Come to an acupuncture.
John Gabris
You're telling me the. The woman who grew up with a shaved head in Brooklyn is into alternative medication? I do not believe that.
Zoe Lister-Jones
I know. Listen, I love to surprise the audience. Yeah, I'm doing, I'm doing like the list is so long of the holistic practices.
John Gabris
I'm participating in probably a small chunk of that talk too. Yeah, I'm doing the sauna. I'm doing like the Austin meathead stack. Like the sauna. The col plonge, bca, creatine. Yeah, yeah. I'm a bit mah. To be honest. I agree with a lot of their Stuff I'm drinking the aquarium cleaner.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally.
John Gabris
I'm. I am very pro. Son. I think I have a similar color to RFK Jr which is unfortunate for me.
Adam Pally
Yeah.
John Gabris
I don't know why I had to show it there. I have it here.
Adam Pally
There's so many other places.
Zoe Lister-Jones
I don't know your legs are.
Adam Pally
I, like, lift my legs often times. Oftentimes that's the least sunned place.
John Gabris
I lifted my shirt up and I was like, why am I doing this?
Adam Pally
You do look good, buddy.
John Gabris
I know. I saw a 7 on the scale the other day, so. 279.
Adam Pally
Whoa.
John Gabris
I haven't seen a seven in there. I mean, I've seen a seven when it was 307 when it was the front number seven.
Adam Pally
Oh, five.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Wow.
Adam Pally
That's crazy.
John Gabris
Yeah, it's wild. Well, yeah, but throw my stack out there. I'm on GLP1s, two different blood pressure medications, a. A statin, and, you know, assorted erection stuff. All kinds of trying.
Adam Pally
Everything unprescribed and from. That's like the elbow, mostly from gas stations. Yeah.
John Gabris
The bodega packs, coke, weed. Yeah, I'm on that Kanye west honey pack with the. With the rhino horn kicker.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Keep talking.
John Gabris
Yeah, I can't keep talking. All the blood's in my pecker. I'm going to faint like a canary.
Adam Pally
Somebody's going to grab your phone and unlock your thing and be like, adam, write it down. So start at the beginning. All right. What's body wise? You're doing body wise. Like, I'm doing acupuncture.
Zoe Lister-Jones
I do acupuncture.
Adam Pally
I don't know why this was. But I couldn't get.
Zoe Lister-Jones
I know. I was like, but I do acupuncture. I do. I also. With an iv. I like. I like. I like. With an iv.
John Gabris
I've done an iv, maybe not in a hospital five times in my life, and four of them were with that.
Zoe Lister-Jones
They've really. They. They do make a difference.
Adam Pally
They make a huge. You want to hear a bad IV story?
Zoe Lister-Jones
Oh, God. Is it the needle?
Adam Pally
It's kind of recent. When I was in New Zealand.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Yeah.
John Gabris
Yeah.
Adam Pally
La. A couple months ago. That the. It was like, long productions, you know, like, that's the first thing production seems to throw at the actor when even the, like, remote. Like, every production is the same way. You know what I mean? It's like the Thursday of the third week and everyone's a little tired, and it's like.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Like, drop your pants. We're sticking you with the Needle.
Adam Pally
Immediately, some producer comes around that you've never met before and is like, we're going to do IVs.
John Gabris
We're gonna do the same thing we
Adam Pally
did to Shirley temple, you know, IVs and a B12. And while you're turned around getting the B12, who knows what'll happen? And you're like.
John Gabris
Because they can't give you cocaine anymore,
Adam Pally
Keep you awake anymore. So you're just like, all right, whatever.
John Gabris
And so, like, we're having a coffee truck and random injections.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Yeah.
John Gabris
You're like, oh, sick.
Adam Pally
Truly. And so the. So the nurse came, and it was late at night. It was a night shoot.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Yeah.
Adam Pally
And I was not paying attention. I was, like, talking to. Sitting in. In one of those, like, cash chairs, talking to someone. And all of a sudden, I felt like I was getting cut. Like, I felt like I was, like, getting cut. And I. I was like, ow, ow. And she's like, what? And she was, like, standing over there, and I was like, oh, I think something's, like, wrong. So she, like, ran over and pulled it out. And I was, like, numb on my fingers, like, all the way down. And it didn't stop. Like, the bleeding was bad. You can still kind of see it. No, but she, like, she. They, like, stopped it. And then she went in the other arm and it was fine. And everyone was like, just keep going on the day. And I, like, finished the day, went home, slept, woke up the next day and was like, that's not right.
Zoe Lister-Jones
No.
Adam Pally
And call my dad. He's like, oh, she probably had a nerve. Probably like a week and a half, two weeks.
John Gabris
No.
Zoe Lister-Jones
That you didn't have feeling that I
Adam Pally
was like, couldn't jerk off with my
John Gabris
legs, you know, Gator. Well, you could, but it felt like someone else sometimes.
Adam Pally
Because I want. It went a little different.
John Gabris
You know, Gatorade doesn't do that to you.
Adam Pally
I know.
John Gabris
It's like, thank God I got an IV for my health now. You're like, no cheerleads.
Adam Pally
It's gonna be the dumbest thing ever if I wake up dead tomorrow. A New Zealand that all the time. Yeah.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Because I get one that's crazy. Where they take my blood out.
Adam Pally
Oh, wait, this is beyond.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Then they oxygenate it, and they put it through a laser, and then they put it back into me.
John Gabris
What the hell?
Zoe Lister-Jones
It takes the toxins out of it.
Adam Pally
The laser does.
John Gabris
I don't know, but I pay so much extra for it.
Adam Pally
Someone told you that a laser was taking toxins out of blood that has been taken out of your body and they're putting the blood back in. And it's better now. And you're like, oh, great.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Yeah.
Adam Pally
How much does that cost?
Zoe Lister-Jones
No questions asked.
Adam Pally
I don't want to.
John Gabris
I'm not going to this blood oil change stuff. I'm seeing more and more people do it. Like, a friend of mine told us about it. Yeah.
Adam Pally
He had some. Something similar.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Yes. But it feels dangerous.
John Gabris
Yeah, I do.
Adam Pally
Like, that sounds dangerous.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Dangerous.
John Gabris
I. A friend of mine gets their blood drawn. It goes through a centrifuge and then directly gets plasma injected into his bald spots. And it's like promoting stimulating.
Zoe Lister-Jones
I've gotten that too. Just on my. On my face for longer bangs.
Adam Pally
That's how I got. That's. They did that around my bangs to get the bag to grow.
Zoe Lister-Jones
No, I got. It's like vampire facial. But they took it out. Then they. Yeah, whatever.
John Gabris
They whip it up.
Zoe Lister-Jones
They whip it up and they put it back in.
John Gabris
They hit it with. They hit it with a little salt
Zoe Lister-Jones
bay, you know, a little Maldon.
John Gabris
The Maldon smoked for me, please.
Adam Pally
So that. So that's. That's a big deal. Is it recovery?
Zoe Lister-Jones
No, no, no recovery. And then there's another one that they do. They. They do like vitamins with lasers into my arm.
Adam Pally
What?
Zoe Lister-Jones
I don't know what the laser doctor.
John Gabris
My parents wouldn't even let me get
Adam Pally
in the laser industry.
John Gabris
It's Dr. Evil.
Adam Pally
Yeah. Who's doing it?
John Gabris
Are you a Bond villain, Laser? Zoe?
Zoe Lister-Jones
I don't. This is. The thing about me is, like, I really don't ask questions of my healers. I'm just like, pretty. I'm a down ass bitch when it
Adam Pally
comes to everything in your life. Everything. And everybody I know. That's Zoe.
John Gabris
I talk about this a lot. I'm in the same boat. Like, I add something, my regimen, because it was recommended to me. And then if three years later, people are like, no one is doing that anymore. I'm like, I. I'm not dropping it. Like, I just like, I've got pills in my stack that people are like, I don't think anyone's taking horse albumin anymore. Or whatever. And I'm like, it comes from the horse eggs. It's actually really good horse eggs.
Adam Pally
Yeah, well, you guys, that's what horses
Zoe Lister-Jones
come out of it.
Adam Pally
Of course. That's why they're so small at first.
John Gabris
Well, they're technically pony eggs.
Adam Pally
Yeah.
John Gabris
You know the expression. Which came first, the horse or the egg? The egg.
Adam Pally
Yeah.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Yeah.
Adam Pally
And you just got to be really Careful when the stork drops them off.
John Gabris
You don't want to get the egg before the horse.
Adam Pally
And if it gets cracked, oh, God help us all. That's why jockeys are so small. They aren't fed horses. You guys are very similar to me in my life. Like, both of you are. Like, when you say that, it's like, oh, yeah. That's your defining characteristic is that you are just a down ass. Like, you're just like, what do you want to do? We'll do it. What do you want? What do you need? We'll do it. What do you want to do? We'll do it. What? Whatever you need. And that's kind of how Gabrius is. I feel, like, very similar.
John Gabris
I'm just, you know, I'm a. I'm.
Adam Pally
I'm down ass.
John Gabris
I'm. I'm a down ass. Yeah, you are 100% that according to my 23 and me.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Yeah.
Adam Pally
Mine said spartic.
John Gabris
You get your N23 mag, it says down, and you're like, oh, no, that says ass, bitch.
Adam Pally
You're like, no, no, that says down' space.
John Gabris
I knew it. I have multiple extra chromosomes. Is going to be a problem.
Adam Pally
And you can't stand up, but all
Zoe Lister-Jones
of them are that big.
Adam Pally
Yeah.
John Gabris
Like, I. I'll stick with stuff that I think is. I'm like, fine with the placebo effect at this point, too. Like, people are like, I don't think cold plunges really does anything. I'm like, well, I feel great when I get out of there, and I feel like I accomplished something by, like, powering through it so it's never going away for me.
Adam Pally
Yeah. So what are you doing workout wise?
Zoe Lister-Jones
Not enough. But I have a trainer who.
John Gabris
My arms and legs taken off. They shoot them with lasers and then
Adam Pally
they put them back on.
John Gabris
Lasers.
Adam Pally
I lift lasers. Mostly I move lasers into my. Into my facialist's office. It's like this big cardio. All of us do it.
John Gabris
My parents wouldn't even let me have the laser background for my school picture. We couldn't even afford that. And you're getting beamed in and out
Zoe Lister-Jones
of moving the laser machines in and out. No, I have a trainer and I work out with her. We, like, mostly just talk about the Real Housewives, you know what I mean? It's one of those workouts, which is my favorite kind, where I'm laying down, I'm on a mat, and I'm kind of like half. I'm like, can you believe what Dorit is doing right now? And I pay attention to none of my form, nor does she. But we get into it, right?
Adam Pally
Emotionally.
John Gabris
Emotionally.
Adam Pally
Emotionally.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Yeah. We've been. We've been working out for a decade together. And when I'm really, like, for this show slip that I have, that's out now. I am naked a lot.
Adam Pally
So you were really on it.
Zoe Lister-Jones
I was on it for that one because I really wanted to be snatched. And then we're not talking. Then if it's go time, we go. And we're doing mostly Matt Pilates, yoga stuff. But it hasn't been go time for a minute.
Adam Pally
But you're chilling right now, and I'm
Zoe Lister-Jones
really deep in the bravoverse, so.
Adam Pally
Right.
John Gabris
Yeah. I'm actually.
Adam Pally
The harder the bravoverse, the less in shape.
John Gabris
Doing double sessions this week just to catch up. There's a reunion or whatever on my
Adam Pally
flight on Saturday morning was Teresa Giudice.
Zoe Lister-Jones
No.
Adam Pally
Yeah. And I saw her.
John Gabris
How you say her name? Yeah, I'm uncomfortable saying it.
Adam Pally
It's not. That's not.
John Gabris
It's not. D.J.
Adam Pally
judice.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Judice.
Adam Pally
Yeah.
John Gabris
Judiciary.
Adam Pally
I learned that when I said, Big fan, Mr. Dice. And she said, not how you pronounce it.
John Gabris
Oh, no, she said, these are judice
Adam Pally
y.
John Gabris
I was pointing to your tattoo, not your balls.
Adam Pally
No, but I was like, how did you know my balls are square? I know how Zoe knows.
John Gabris
That's why I went. I was pointing to the hard four.
Adam Pally
But. And then. And then we. It was like, kind of awkward up front. And. And then we boarded, and it was. This is like 5, 4 in the morning at Newark. Oh, right.
Zoe Lister-Jones
My God.
Adam Pally
And then. And.
Zoe Lister-Jones
And.
Adam Pally
And so I was probably not. I probably shouldn't. Shouldn't have said anything, but I was just like, that's so funny. Like, no, she's.
John Gabris
She's a huge star.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Of course.
Adam Pally
So then they. We go to sit, and I'm 3A, she's 3B. No, no. And I'm like. So I'm like, I'm just gonna sleep the whole time because that's. I can do that. I'm like, this will be non. We won't even talk because I know she's already not.
John Gabris
This is how I dealt with my father as a kid. I could fake like I'm sleep until he leaves for work.
Adam Pally
That's how I felt. I was like, I'm just gonna do it. So, like, I took edible at 4am at 4am yeah. No joke. Because I like to do that. And it feels like time travel, right? Totally. Because by the time the plant stuck, you're like, like, yeah, when you eat,
John Gabris
like, meatballs marinara and drink a glass of red wine and it's 7am like
Adam Pally
that, you're like, I passed out for 12 hours. But so I, I, I did that. And I, like, turned over. As soon as they could lie down, I passed out. But I woke up and I had to go to the bathroom room, and she was asleep, and I was like, no. And I.
Zoe Lister-Jones
No, you didn't.
John Gabris
Yes.
Zoe Lister-Jones
You mounted Judiciary.
Adam Pally
I mounted JI dj. I climbed Mount Judice. And it was no Sherpa. No, I went, I went without a guide, and it was dark.
John Gabris
It was pretty solo.
Adam Pally
And. And the stakes had never been higher. Of course not, because. And I.
Zoe Lister-Jones
It's like mission impossible.
Adam Pally
It truly was, because I can, like.
John Gabris
And you have rollerblades on your plane. Blade are easier.
Adam Pally
I got to keep my blood circulated. You know, you can buy those at the Hudson News now.
John Gabris
So I go up to that super expensive vending machine and buy noise canceling headphones.
Adam Pally
And I. And, And I made it over and was like, holy. I did it. And when I came back, she was awake.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Oh, God. Oh, my God.
Adam Pally
And she didn't say anything. And I went back to my seat and I was like, I woke her up. I woke her up. And she was, like, not psyched.
Zoe Lister-Jones
No.
Adam Pally
And the rest of, like, the last, like, hour, two hours of the flight was just like, like, so awkward. So intense.
John Gabris
And I'm sure sounds like a fifth edible time if you ask me.
Adam Pally
I was just gonna say I'm sure I was high.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Yeah.
Adam Pally
And she didn't care at all that I messed up her name or whatever, but the stakes of you. Prostitution in my head.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Well, the woman's been in prison.
Adam Pally
Yes.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Yeah.
Adam Pally
I mean, and I read and I already started off.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Yeah.
Adam Pally
And then she was.
John Gabris
And she palmed her butter knife.
Adam Pally
It was so terrifying.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Incredible.
Adam Pally
So terrifying.
John Gabris
I. I woke up one time, I was dead.
Adam Pally
I took a picture of her, by the way. I'll show it to you.
John Gabris
Never sleeping.
Adam Pally
No. I took a picture of her standing because she was really pissed. She. I, I was, like, texting with Casey the whole time. I was like, I've pissed her off.
Zoe Lister-Jones
I pissed her off.
Adam Pally
She's like, she's nice. She's nice. I was like, no, no. She's, like, pissed off. And then I text at. At baggage. She was, like, standing, like, like, glaring at me like that. And. And so I was like, I'm gonna take a picture. And so I, like, took my phone out and I was like, hi.
John Gabris
Hi.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Oh, my God.
Adam Pally
And then I sent it to Casey. She's like, oh, yeah. You know she's not pissy. Yeah, yeah.
John Gabris
Oh, no, she's actually pissed, actually. She. I thought she was really nice, but
Adam Pally
no, this is her actual anchor or mad at the baggage or whatever. And I was still high, but it was like not a good. Yeah, it wasn't a good face.
John Gabris
I was asleep in the aisle seat one time and I woke up to just boom. And I sat up and a woman was facing me, straddling me. She had slipped. Her foot has slipped off. I was. And I was like so high. And I'm like, just wake up. And a woman is like a foot in front of me. And she's so red faced her. She's like fully on my lap. And I'm like, I'm like. And I like wake up ready to fight. Like I don't know what it is. I'm like. And she's like, oh my God. She's like, literally. And I'm like, help her get off me. Like, it was like, it got like. I was like, this is. We're either fucking or fighting in this next moment. I like picked her up by her hips and just like put her in the aisle. I was like, I'll help you. But it was like instinctive. And I was like. And I was like, I touched that woman inappropriately. And I was like. Well, I think it was on her first. Yeah. So I think that was completely fair. But I truly just woke up to. And I could tell she was so embarrassed. And in my mind she was. Must have been standing on the armrest. No, no, that was one of the.
Zoe Lister-Jones
What?
John Gabris
Another time I was on a red eye that had so much lightning that and so much turbulence that the woman grabbed my. A woman next to me grabbed my hand and I looked over at her and she was like this beautiful woman. I was like, she's holding my hand. She's like, I'm so scared. I'm like, we're going to be okay. Cut to one hour later. Her head is in my lap. No, she's crying. No, I'm like rubbing her should. What the. I'm just like the plane's husband at this point. I'm like, what do you need? This woman is literally holding my leg.
Adam Pally
Is anybody a husband?
John Gabris
Well, I used to be. I still have a lot of my certifications.
Zoe Lister-Jones
That's insane.
John Gabris
It was. She was. And that when we landed, she was like, thank you so much. I was like, you're welcome. Thank you, babe. That was. Made my flight Like I didn't call her babe. I was in my head.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Great.
John Gabris
I thought we're still doing the husband role play. Sorry.
Adam Pally
No problem.
John Gabris
For real, where are your bags? I told you, just do carry on. But no, you have to check your bag. You need multiple options. We're here for three days. You wanted a husband, you got it.
Zoe Lister-Jones
From babe to classic husband ship.
John Gabris
Of course, that's what we My relationship relationship book.
Adam Pally
From babe to from babe.
John Gabris
You want to help write our relationship 100% that babe.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Yeah, exactly.
Adam Pally
The Staying alive relationship book. Forward by Zoe Lister. Joe.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Still figuring out Mother's Day? We can arrange that with edible.
John Gabris
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Zoe Lister-Jones
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John Gabris
And Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual.
Adam Pally
Even if it means sitting front row
John Gabris
at a comedy show.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Hey everyone. Check out this guy and his bird. What is this your first date?
Adam Pally
Oh, no.
John Gabris
We help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual to get together.
Adam Pally
We're married. Me to a human, him to a bird.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Yeah, the bird looks out of your league.
John Gabris
Anyways, get a'@libertymutual.com or with your local agent.
Adam Pally
Liberty, Liberty.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Liberty, Liberty.
John Gabris
Ever walk past a place for rent and wish you could just take a peek inside? Maybe even explore the layout? Envision the natural light streaming through the windows.
Adam Pally
Or plan where your vinyl record collection would go.
John Gabris
At apartments.com you can. With tools like their 3D virtual tours, you can see the exact unit you could be living in. Really envision yourself in your new home with apartments.com the place to find a place. It's crazy when you leave a personal training session that you kind of chatted the whole time with. And then when you like venmo them, you're like, oh, what am I paying for here? I'm like, I'm like, I gotta three times.
Adam Pally
Personal training does veer into. Into the similar thing with therapy slightly where you're like, sometimes I do feel better. Sometimes I do see results. However. However. Is this a gilded cage, right? You know, like, have you put me in a little box where you're gonna keep getting my money right? And I'll never really get over that hump. Cause you're not gonna push me anywhere. Uncomfortable.
John Gabris
Well, it's almost like any relationship, you guys, like, both kind of stop trying hard. And it gets like. Like not any relationship, but a path of a lot of relationships.
Adam Pally
Yeah.
John Gabris
Where neither of you are trying hard, but you're like, I don't want to give up on this therapy. But like, I eventually just was like, you know, like talking to my therapist and he's like, yeah. I'm like, weight's a bummer. Relationship's a bummer. You know, it's like I'm just saying the same thing every day.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
John Gabris
And. But you have to. I think you have to. I pre apologize to Addie, but I think you have to change trainers every once. I'll change therapists and change.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Yeah, I'll never. Yeah, I will never change. But here's what I love about her is, is like we're on Zoom and. Or FaceTime, so. And it's like every day I have a hard time getting out of the house to work out, but if it's in my home, so. And I will say, even when I'm chatty, I do still see results. Well, that's if I can commit to it.
John Gabris
If it works, it works. Like, you know what I mean?
Zoe Lister-Jones
If there's a therapy thing that I agree with, you kind of get into
John Gabris
patterns with a therapist that you get into in a relationship where you're just like saying the same shit all the time.
Adam Pally
I find that. I find that with. And I do find it with trainers as well. Feel like there's maybe other. But it's. But it is also like part of my own paranoia possibly I feel also. Or like my own guardedness about any of it or fear of improvement as well, where it's like, what happens next? Like what. There is a fear of success as well. And so you're like, well, what happens if I do get fixed and what happens if I do get jacked? And what you know, you know, my.
John Gabris
My fear with all that is, will I still be funny? Like, that's so embarrassing. Where I'm like, what is if I get mentally. What if I get self actualized and in shape? Will people. Will people think I'm funny still? And that's like, I'm like, this is the thing I'm dealing with now is like, do I want to live longer or be fat funny guy? Like, it's crazy. It's like hard not to think like that. But it turns out I could lose £40 and still be the Fattest guy. Like, I always use you on Happy Endings as an example. It's like you were my Mike, one of my most handsome, like, stylish, in shape friends, and you were the fat guy on that show.
Adam Pally
To be fair, we hung out under a supermarket.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Yeah.
John Gabris
You're a king of a tiny kingdom. It's a world's tallest little person. You're the hottest guy at ucb. Yeah, I'm the strongest guy, the best athlete.
Adam Pally
I mean, yeah. I mean, as soon as I came up from that place, people were like, vampire. I didn't have.
John Gabris
I didn't have much hotter friends in the Long island community either. So, yeah, you were my hunky friend. And then you get on a sitcom and you're. And they're like, hey, it's dumpy fat guy.
Adam Pally
Yeah. Wow.
John Gabris
That was bode well for me.
Adam Pally
That was one of those things too. That was like a shock to my own ego as well when that first joke hit the writers room. Because, like.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Wait, what was the joke?
Adam Pally
The joke was rewritten on the pilot. It was like it was supposed. It was some. Some joke or Damon improvised it, actually. But the joke was. I say something like, I don't know if this guy's like, right for. For whatever. And. And he goes, why? Because you're chubby and gay. And then my response is, chubby, which is the character.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Adam Pally
Like the intro to the character.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Right.
Adam Pally
And when they like rewrote it and did on the set, I was like, couldn't find why that's funny. Right? And I was like, but I'm not. But like, yeah, but I was like, but I'm like, yeah, but who are they talking about?
John Gabris
Damon and Knighton are pretty shredded dudes.
Adam Pally
Exactly. But in my head, I like couldn't process. I was like, like, you're saying before. I was like, I just don't think it's going to read.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Yeah.
Adam Pally
And David's like, no, no, it'll read.
John Gabris
Just. Just know you had 10 fat friends watching you going like, okay, well, I hope, I hope I get to play Jabba the Hutt's son someday. Yeah. No, that goes to Jeremy Allen White. Okay. Okay. I think that's called Fat face and it's against the law.
Adam Pally
I just saw like a thing on the thing. It was when I checked in the hotel of Jon Favreau doing like a press talk about casting Jeremy Allen White as Jabba the Hutt. And it was like such bullshit. Like, it was just spew. He was like. When I first saw him as a Bear.
John Gabris
He's like, oh, he's a chef.
Adam Pally
You know, he's a chef. And I was like, oh, a Jabba eats. You know, there's like two things that just, like, went together. And you're like, oh, my God. God, this guy's selling a chef.
John Gabris
I play a chef.
Adam Pally
I play a chef. There's only chef is a chef. And I was like.
John Gabris
And then I can't think of the movie Chef without saying Jon Favreau wrote and directed a movie where he cheats on Sophia Verro with Scarlet Johansson.
Zoe Lister-Jones
He wrote and.
John Gabris
He wrote and directed it. And you're like.
Adam Pally
With sex scenes with both. No sex scenes with both.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Oh, my God.
John Gabris
Brett Goldstein just wrote a movie where he is dating jlo.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Yeah.
John Gabris
And I'm like, man, I gotta get successful in Hollywood. It's like, I'll just be.
Adam Pally
End up literally.
John Gabris
Gabriel cartoon.
Adam Pally
Every show I pitch, they Google Danielle and they're like, who looks like your wife? I'm like, what?
Zoe Lister-Jones
That's so weird.
Adam Pally
It's so weird. They're like, who?
John Gabris
We think outside the box.
Adam Pally
I'm like, can we think outside the box? Like, maybe, like, I don't know. It be cool. Like, wouldn't it be funny if it was like, I don't know.
John Gabris
Pick any smoke show.
Adam Pally
You need a.
John Gabris
You can't actually say.
Adam Pally
I can't say anything.
John Gabris
Say anyone. Right here. This is the clip that gets you.
Adam Pally
It's like.
John Gabris
I don't know.
Adam Pally
It's like.
Zoe Lister-Jones
It's like for Daniella.
Adam Pally
Yeah. It's like fantasy. They're like, oh, you know, it would be funny if there was an actress that looks Reese Witherspoon but Jewish. And you're like, you mean my real wife? My literal. The face I look up every morning
John Gabris
and night like, reese won't play a Jew anymore. Like, what?
Adam Pally
Yeah, well, she said after the drunk driving thing, no more bad press.
John Gabris
Bad press. Playing a Jewish person is bad press as well.
Adam Pally
It is.
Zoe Lister-Jones
It is.
Adam Pally
You feel that 100%. I feel it, people.
John Gabris
Hollywood. No, I'm. I'm down. I'm down. The. Well, the Italian Jewish Alliance.
Adam Pally
You would not play a Jew playing a Jew.
John Gabris
How curly my beard is. I could do it.
Adam Pally
No, you would get cast.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Yeah, you could.
Adam Pally
You wouldn't do it. Playing a Jew right now is like playing a Jew right now.
John Gabris
I think you. I think you're debating. I think you're underestimating how desperate I am to make SAG health insurance this year.
Adam Pally
Maybe you're underestimating.
John Gabris
I'll play black again. Again. Sorry. Don't Google.
Adam Pally
I'm just saying, playing a Jew right now is like being brave for an actor.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Yeah.
Adam Pally
Like, it's like Fassbender doing a Nazi character.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Yeah.
Adam Pally
It's being brave.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Yeah. I agree.
Adam Pally
You know, like, I heard they changed Zach Braff's religion on Scrubs.
Zoe Lister-Jones
What?
John Gabris
Trying to get that Zach Braff buzz on the podcast. Constantly.
Adam Pally
I keep shooting. I'm trying to get Zach Braff.
John Gabris
Found out that Gabe, Jenny and Max's podcast had a viral clip because they mentioned Zach Braff. Like, he's hitting like every controversial.
Adam Pally
Every controversial talk. Like, you know, it did that. Hoping that he responds by being like, I did not do that.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Because he responded to their.
Adam Pally
Yeah. And that made it. And they didn't even.
Zoe Lister-Jones
About an AI.
John Gabris
Yeah. And they didn't mention his name or anything like that. So he just.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Oh, no.
Adam Pally
Yeah.
John Gabris
He just screenshotted it. Yeah.
Adam Pally
So I'm going one step further by mentioning his name.
John Gabris
Yeah. So what's your relationship with food? That was like, so jiminy glick of me.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Oh, man.
Adam Pally
The diet. What are you eating?
Zoe Lister-Jones
Oh, my God.
Adam Pally
Because you're pretty restrictive.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Very restrictive.
Adam Pally
You are. Our dinners are calculated. Well, I never go full out with you.
Zoe Lister-Jones
You don't?
Adam Pally
No. I know. Isn't that sad that that's me not going full out?
Zoe Lister-Jones
Oh, that's you not going full out.
Adam Pally
Because I just. It's like. Because. I know.
Zoe Lister-Jones
But I want you to go full.
Adam Pally
I know.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Because I actually live vicariously through that.
Adam Pally
I know. But I never do it because you also are. You're like. I'm like, oh, that's. That's. That's. That's what you should be doing.
Zoe Lister-Jones
No.
Adam Pally
You know, so you're like. It's like. It's like we both meet in the middle.
Zoe Lister-Jones
We do. We do.
John Gabris
Yeah.
Zoe Lister-Jones
That's kind of our relationship.
Adam Pally
Truly.
Zoe Lister-Jones
I have been gluten free, dairy free for so long. Mostly just because I hate the service industry.
John Gabris
Because I like to say that to servers.
Adam Pally
Yeah.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Because I like to.
John Gabris
Is this cooked on the same.
Zoe Lister-Jones
It's the way that I order it is such. Such a boner killer. Like, it's so hard to go to dinner with me. But I. But I have. I asked so many. I have so many questions.
Adam Pally
It's not.
Zoe Lister-Jones
I gotta know. Because I'm also like. Then I slip in. But I also don't really do nuts or seeds. You know what I mean?
Adam Pally
Yeah, you do.
John Gabris
And I'm Maha.
Adam Pally
You do this thing. Yeah. You do this thing. Opposite from other people in my Life who have multiple things where you kind of slope. Bury the lead.
Zoe Lister-Jones
I do.
Adam Pally
And you kind of let them figure it out. You let the waiter figure out how nuts you are. So you're kind of like. You're very.
John Gabris
He's like, so filtered water.
Adam Pally
Yeah, exactly. Like, it starts off very, like, bottle or tap. And you're like.
John Gabris
And he's like, all right. He writes down. He writes on the menu. Oh, we have one an up ass bitch.
Adam Pally
Yeah, it's very, you know, like, zo.
John Gabris
That's the only time you're not a down ass bitch is in a restaurant.
Adam Pally
There are. There are times I'll be like, you want to go to this restaurant? And her reply be like, I can't go there anymore.
John Gabris
Oh, that's awesome.
Zoe Lister-Jones
I have alienated too many people there.
Adam Pally
Italian restaurant in the hills will not.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Oh, no, they won't.
Adam Pally
They won't see you anym.
John Gabris
They will not. Because I don't do dairy or gluten in an Italian restaurant.
Adam Pally
Is that.
John Gabris
You're like, bowl of marinara.
Zoe Lister-Jones
That's not. That's her spot. That's not the worst person.
Adam Pally
She would be like, come meet me. A spot.
John Gabris
I can't have tomatoes, gluten, cheese, or.
Adam Pally
There she's sitting in a corner like a fedora, wig step. Absolutely.
Zoe Lister-Jones
I got glasses. Because now it's gotten to the point where I'm like. I go through the whole list, and they're like, okay. And they're about to walk away, and I'm like, oh, and also, no black pepper. And they're like, oh. Oh, my God. Like, it's gotten to the point where no black pepper.
Adam Pally
They're like, arrested. No one's allergic.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Arrest.
Adam Pally
Everyone sneezes from black pepper lady. Everybody.
Zoe Lister-Jones
It's too much.
John Gabris
Black pepper is too much.
Zoe Lister-Jones
It's too much.
John Gabris
Holy. We're getting roasted by non white people right now. 100% white people going, like, black pepper could be intense. Mexican people are like, for real.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Yeah.
Adam Pally
Verdot. It's wild how little seasoning Zoe needs.
Zoe Lister-Jones
I need. But I love a sea salt. I love a sea salt. I'm malding all the way. And that's part of my lasers system too. But it's. No, I'm terrible. But I've.
John Gabris
Can you run my eggplant parm through a laser before I eat it? I'm sorry, miss.
Zoe Lister-Jones
That would be good, actually.
John Gabris
Has this been lasered? Is this farm raised and lasered and no pepper.
Zoe Lister-Jones
No pepper lately, though. I will say this also makes me the worst. So when I Go to Europe. I do fuck with gluten and dairy because I can.
Adam Pally
And you feel okay.
Zoe Lister-Jones
And I feel okay. And so here, hear your boy. Funky. Yeah, I go there.
Adam Pally
Funky's.
Zoe Lister-Jones
But funky's a ledge and I eat pasta. So we could go to Funky and actually go to Town.
Adam Pally
I would love to do that.
John Gabris
You can go to Funky Town.
Adam Pally
We can go to Funky Town. Why hasn't he called his restaurant now? What is he doing?
Zoe Lister-Jones
Should we tag it?
Adam Pally
Just like, look, I know. He's like, napa Valley. Funky Town.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Funky Town is sick.
John Gabris
It's a song. It rips, man.
Adam Pally
Can you imagine Michelin, like, being, like, funky and the number one restaurant in Los Angeles? Funky Town.
John Gabris
It's impossible to get a reservation at Funky Town.
Adam Pally
And don't think about dancing. This is Evan. Funky. But his pasta will get you moving. That's. That's interesting. I had that recently in New Zealand because I didn't eat. I wanted to eat, like, bread. I wasn't, like, purposely not eating bread or anything, but it was just not, like, good. Like, is, like, bad.
John Gabris
Taste it bad.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Yeah, yeah.
Adam Pally
And like, the other foods, like the comfort foods in New Zealand, which I could see myself eating, like, meat pies and stuff, I could see myself eating that, but it just. I'd have one and I'd be like, wasn't that good? It was not good. It's not like pizza, where you're like, no matter time of day, I'll have pizza.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Yes.
Adam Pally
It's not like that. And then I've lost a ton of weight because you're in. You're not eating bad food. Bad because you. Bad food. But when I would go to, like, Italy, I never lost any weight.
Zoe Lister-Jones
But did you gain weight in Italy? Because I feel like it's actually like. It's sort of like there's some. There's some. Something that happens there. Maybe you're walking a lot.
Adam Pally
Walking a lot. I. I definitely didn't lose weight.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Okay.
Adam Pally
Like, I definitely wasn't one of those people who was like. They were just like, oh, yeah, you can eat anything here. Like, I definitely got back on the plane and was like.
Zoe Lister-Jones
But when I go to Italy, I'm like, I'll have the cheesecake for breakfast. Because I'm so. I'm in, like, such scarcity mindset from here. That there. I'm like, it's really.
John Gabris
I thought this is not a bad attitude to have in life, because that's the one thing where I can't.
Adam Pally
It's working.
John Gabris
I can't.
Adam Pally
Yeah, obviously yeah, obviously.
John Gabris
You don't seem like a pasta addict.
Adam Pally
Yeah. Your life seems to be in okay shape.
John Gabris
But do you, what do you, what do you do? Do you cook at all or make anything for yourself at home? Do you have like. Cuz because of your specific lane of food, do you have like a. This is just a go to thing that's always in my fridge that I could eat like, you know, because that's kind of where I'm at a lot in life is where I'm like, I need like home hacks too because I'll end up just being like. If I can prevent myself from ordering. That eliminates like the potential for six to seven more bad decisions.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Like hard boiled eggs in the fridge. A lot of protein in the fridge. I get like pre packed chicken breasts and then they're already done.
Adam Pally
Hell yeah.
Zoe Lister-Jones
And then I just throw them on lettuce. And then you're just kind of like.
John Gabris
That's like pretty much what I eat. I air fry, I marinate and air fry my own chicken thighs. Then throw them on top of like three salads in a row and try to get those, get all three of those big salads in. In a week in. I was like in a day at three huge salads a day.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Yeah.
John Gabris
A lot of roughage, dog. I need it. I'm eating like a, a tray of greens a week.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Right? Because with the GLP1.
John Gabris
Yeah, yeah. I'm trying not to, I'm trying to do it right. Unlike my mother. Shout out Joanne, who's like, I'm not losing any weight on wegovi. I'm like, are you walking? She's like, no. And the doctor says I got to eat protein, but I'm not doing that. Or fiber. I'm like, well mom, if you're not doing any, I don't know.
Zoe Lister-Jones
God.
John Gabris
Yeah, that was. I usually ask her that when we get on the phone.
Adam Pally
That's why I'm interested.
John Gabris
Hi Joanne, it's Jonathan. Just want wondering how are your bms?
Zoe Lister-Jones
Yeah.
John Gabris
And this is what you'll say, shave the gray out of your beard. All my mom will just say like that she has like three things. I wish you would stop smoking weed when you got to trim your beard, get rid of those grays. You look so much better without it. Not. And then she'll try to use compliments. She's like, well now that you lost that weight, you got to show your beautiful face. And I'm like, that's not happening. I've had a beard for now longer than I Haven't at this point in
Adam Pally
my life because of that 44.
John Gabris
I've had it since I was 20. I'm like, Joanne, it's not going anywhere.
Adam Pally
And because of that, you'd think she'd know how beards that if you shaved the gray out, you would have no beard dog.
John Gabris
I fucking.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Or you could do something interesting where just the middle gone. And then you have sort of.
Adam Pally
I definitely wouldn't look like a beard. It would definitely look different.
John Gabris
I look like Nick Offerman in a period. Perfect.
Adam Pally
I love the mutton shot.
John Gabris
Finally we can see a little dimple chin like John Travolta. I have one of those little butt chin things. No one knows that.
Adam Pally
That's awesome.
John Gabris
I did mushrooms at the beach alone during a midlife crisis earlier this in the summer. And I had this moment where I'm like, the sun's never touched my cheeks. So I and like, shaved my face down to a mustache. Remember this phase? And then I. Every time I looked at myself in the mirror, it would be like a legit jump scare. Like, I'd be like, whoa. Oh, fuck. I actually look like that. And I felt like I looked like the Pringles guy or whichever one of the fat guys is Laurel and Hardy. I think Laurel. No, Hardy probably makes. Not Tom Hardy, but the fucking dumpy Hardy. And I just was like, oh, I can't do this again. And I like, was like, you know, meditating on beard growth. Like, trying to pop biotin. Get the beard back asap.
Adam Pally
Well, it's definitely there.
John Gabris
It's. Yeah, it's getting. It's crazy long now. Now I. I haven't touched it.
Adam Pally
I'm finding a facial hair thing recently where I. My facial hair grows so high into my face. I'm like the. Do you remember that story that was like, I'm the wolf boy from.
Zoe Lister-Jones
That's right.
Adam Pally
From that village that they found that came out and he has. His beard was on his forehead. Like, I, I. My facial hair was so high and so low that there's no definition of where my neck is.
John Gabris
You're like the level of Harry that, that you're gonna. It all connects eventually.
Adam Pally
Yeah.
John Gabris
You know what I mean? It'll connect up to your brows and then into your forehead.
Adam Pally
I'll just become like a one big right forearm of Robin Williams.
John Gabris
Yeah, you'll have to get like, definition shaved back into your face. Like, you'll get on set and they'll be like, hair and makeup will like buzz your forehead.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Oh, my God.
John Gabris
Shave under your eyes.
Adam Pally
I Mean, but. But I. I feel that, like, because I have dimples here, but I don't ever see them because my facial hair grows so fucking high.
John Gabris
Yeah. My shit.
Adam Pally
And then when I go to, like, a place to make a beard, it looks like I have, like, half a face. Cause then I have, like, this, like, very stark line.
Zoe Lister-Jones
You know what I mean? Yeah. The line's too stark.
Adam Pally
And it looks really like.
Zoe Lister-Jones
It's almost like drag makeup. You're like, contrast.
John Gabris
That happens to me, too. Every time I get someone else to do my beard, like, hair and makeup or at a barbershop. I look like I'm trying something crazy. I look like I'm a demonic Dominican guy or something like that. You know, where it's like, super lined up and I'm like, nothing in my life is this neat. I cannot have, like, the perfect lip line on my. I look crazy.
Adam Pally
I know. I'm thinking of having it laser off.
John Gabris
Does anyone know a laser guy?
Adam Pally
Do you know a guy?
Zoe Lister-Jones
Yeah, of course I do.
John Gabris
And Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual, even if
Adam Pally
it means sitting front row at a comedy show.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Hey, everyone. Check out this guy and his bird. What is this, your first date?
Adam Pally
Oh, no.
John Gabris
We help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual together.
Adam Pally
We're married. Me to a human, him to a bird.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Yeah, the bird looks out of your league.
John Gabris
Anyways, get a quote@libertymutual.com or with your local agent. Liberty, Liberty.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Liberty, Liberty.
John Gabris
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Zoe Lister-Jones
I asked my H vac guy I found on angie.com to change my grandpa's trachea tube? Because I was so amazed by how quickly he replaced our air ducts. I knew I could trust him to change Pop Pop's tube while I was on vacation.
John Gabris
Make it quick, young man.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Aw.
John Gabris
See?
Zoe Lister-Jones
Pop up trusts you.
Adam Pally
I think we should call a doctor.
John Gabris
Connecting homeowners with skilled Pros for over 30 years, Angie, the one you trust to find the ones you trust. Find pros for all your home projects@angie.com.
Adam Pally
Are you in LA now? Are you around where you are? Is the. Have you been, like, all over?
Zoe Lister-Jones
I was just in New York doing press. I did watch what Happens Live, which I know you've done, and I, of course, I had to talk about the housewives.
Adam Pally
Did you like it? Is it fun?
Zoe Lister-Jones
Yeah, I had so much fun.
Adam Pally
Gabriel was a bartender.
John Gabris
I only did it once, and Andy hated me. Did he hate. Well, I don't know if he hated me, but I was playing, like, Merv Jonas, like, a fourth Jonas brother in, like, a little tiny shirt. And they had me bartending for. Because one of the Jonas Brothers was there. That was the premise. And I think every time I was funny, Andy hated me.
Adam Pally
Yeah, right?
John Gabris
And I don't share focus. Well.
Adam Pally
Yeah, I could believe that.
John Gabris
Yeah, I could believe that is my lifelong collaborator.
Adam Pally
I could believe that. Being hard for Andy.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Yeah, I loved him. No. Yeah. I go back to New York and I. I visit my mama, but I'm here, and I am like, the light is so beautiful. I commented all. I commented all the time. And my partner's always like, all right. I'm always like, look at the light.
Adam Pally
Are they from New York?
Zoe Lister-Jones
No, from here.
Adam Pally
Oh. So, yeah, so they're the.
Zoe Lister-Jones
They're like.
John Gabris
Of course, the sky will be, like, straight up at, like, It'll be like 6:05pm and the sky is cotton candy. It's like blue and pink swirls. And you're like, what the fuck? I'm at this. It's like, you get why I wore Hobie and Ocean Pacific shirts and growing. This is like the PAC Sun Life I drew. It's literally the Pacific sunwear.
Adam Pally
But it is interesting that, like, like, your partner who's from here, doesn't feel that way. And. And, like, the massive beauty of New York.
Zoe Lister-Jones
I can't.
Adam Pally
You don't feel that way?
Zoe Lister-Jones
No, I can see it now. Like, when I. When I go back, I so appreciate it, but I definitely feel like the assault on the senses differently. It's like once you leave, then coming back, you're like, whoa, how did I do this all the time, every day? And if I moved back, I Would just get back.
John Gabris
You get down to it easily, especially
Adam Pally
if you had a job that was 100%.
Zoe Lister-Jones
And I'd move there for a job in a minute, of course. But I move anywhere.
Adam Pally
Anywhere that's given for all of us.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Anybody.
John Gabris
I'd love to stay here and get a job, but I have a warrant
Adam Pally
out for my arrest in Austin, and I'd be there in a second.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Yeah, I'd get a job at that Italian restaurant.
Adam Pally
Oh, yeah.
Zoe Lister-Jones
You know, they won't happen. Have me, but.
John Gabris
Oh, sorry. My manager is based in Funky Town, so I could get. I could get some jobs over there.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Incredible tax credits.
John Gabris
Yeah, yeah. They're shooting a lot in Funky Town. I think it's because there's, like, you know, they have no, like, real regulations on.
Adam Pally
You got a tubular tax credit.
Zoe Lister-Jones
But I do. I mean, I love New York. I just. And I've got all my healers. I've got my healers on both coasts, so that's really helpful for me. And when I was just there, I was like, I got my colonists there, got my acupuncturist there.
John Gabris
I want to fuck with a colonic. Can we talk? Can we take a minute to talk, colonic? Because I'm very curious about this, because there's, like, two people. Some people think they're not good for you. Some people. Some people swear by them. And I've been dealing with GI issues my entire life, and I'm just so curious. Yeah, talk us through it a little bit. Or, like, what. What. What. What you feel or how it goes or why you can't get enough.
Adam Pally
Why you can't get.
John Gabris
I can't get enough of these. If you have. I'm so sorry.
Adam Pally
It's definitely something you can get enough
John Gabris
of if you have colonosis on both. You sound like someone who might get enough of.
Zoe Lister-Jones
So I went to this doctor in the Valley, and I do really trust him. And after looking at, like, my blood work, he was like, you're toxic. I was like, but which part of me.
Adam Pally
Your personality?
Zoe Lister-Jones
Like, my personality?
Adam Pally
Yeah, I know that.
Zoe Lister-Jones
I was like, well, I have been told that. And he was like, you need to go get a colonic. Because I had had so many GI issues, I had been on a lot of antibiotics, and that stuff builds up in your system.
Adam Pally
Yeah.
Zoe Lister-Jones
And it's actually really hard to get rid of. So he was like, go do this to, like, get rid of all of the toxins that have built up over all of the years. And I will say I went and I did it. And like, my skin cleared up. And so there are all these other things that were happening that weren't just GI related. And then I kind of became addicted because.
Adam Pally
Well, you feel good.
Zoe Lister-Jones
You feel good, good. And you know, like, after flying or whatever. Also people on GLP1s. I think it's helpful. I don't know, but my colonosis talks about it to me and she's like, I have a lot of people on GLP1s coming. You should.
John Gabris
If you refer to me, your colonises, you're going to get like a mega bonus. They're going to be like, holy, we got a cash cow here. Well, we literally got a cash cow pulled out of. No, we got the cash of a cow. KX C A C A G.
Adam Pally
That's. Do you. Do you feel. I've never had one. Obviously there have been times where I'm like, I'm gonna get a colonic.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Yeah.
Adam Pally
Does it. Is it instant relief?
Zoe Lister-Jones
Like, not at first. Like, if you're really up.
Adam Pally
Yeah.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Then, like, it can also. You can be like in pain afterwards and then. But they recommend doing like a series of.
Adam Pally
Oh, so it's back to the therapy thing. 6.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Of course.
John Gabris
Of course.
Zoe Lister-Jones
They basically do laser up your ass.
John Gabris
Also, you do need to do this more frequently and weirdly enough, that costs you money and makes me money coincidental.
Adam Pally
Always the negotiation of anything self helpful. But so they. So they say start small and then build, right?
Zoe Lister-Jones
Yeah. No, no, they say start small, big and go. And then bring it down.
Adam Pally
Wow.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Yes.
Adam Pally
They blow it up.
Zoe Lister-Jones
They want to clean it. They're trying to. They're trying to get through the colon with water.
Adam Pally
Wow. And is it. Is it. Does it feel good?
Zoe Lister-Jones
No, no. But I have taken a work call on the table and it was.
John Gabris
What?
Zoe Lister-Jones
It was a notes call.
Adam Pally
I was going to say. That's the. That's the only work call I think works while you're getting a colonic out in there.
John Gabris
It is.
Adam Pally
I cannot imagine.
John Gabris
Oh, my God. Getting to say, sorry, I'm on the colonic table. Can I give you a call back? And a work call is so awesome that that's. Like, this would be in. Be edited out of Entourage for being too unrealistic, too broad.
Adam Pally
So we have Ari for you on the phone.
John Gabris
Put him through.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Can you, like such a bad notes call too. And I was so upset, but. And Michael, Michael, honest is just so used to it because, you know, because
Adam Pally
you're always crying on the table. I'm sorry, Zoe, are you upset? Am I doing. Is the colonic too forceful or were the notes too harsh?
Zoe Lister-Jones
Were harsh. It was really intense. But I, you know, I've.
John Gabris
Can you like leave that day or do you have to like hang out for a couple hours while. Because I don't. I'm. I really don't understand biologically what's going on. Like once you hit the colonic, you're like, you're safe to go home but like get home fast and be near a toilet. Or is it like.
Zoe Lister-Jones
No, you like you go to the toilet right after.
Adam Pally
Yeah.
Zoe Lister-Jones
And then you probably want to be near a toilet. Depending on me.
John Gabris
I'm never too far from a toilet. Just.
Adam Pally
You have your backpack with you. He doesn't want to. Your backpack.
John Gabris
I carry a camping toilet. I drive a Subaru and carry a camping toilet. But I've never scammed. I just have GI issues. The only way like to engage with lesbians on the street.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Same.
John Gabris
Don't we all.
Adam Pally
I told you you two are very much alike.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Very similar.
John Gabris
Down ass.
Adam Pally
Down ass with GI issues.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Love my sp.
Adam Pally
Except waiters love gamers. Yeah.
John Gabris
They see going in they're like start rubbing their hands. We're both doing the same thing but I'm doing it about the menu and they're doing it about the. They're like 20% of whatever this guy orders is going to eat bananas.
Adam Pally
I would pay money to see the look on the wait staff's face of Pache on Laurel Canyon. If you two walked in together they would know what to do. He like boys, we're going to be running around in night
Zoe Lister-Jones
completely. But I think that that would be help. I think Gabris would help me.
Adam Pally
Yeah. Oh you like I'll be like nudging
John Gabris
meatballs with my nose over to you like waiting in the tr.
Adam Pally
Because you are the. The. That's the other side of you is that you're a down ass. So like you also like you're very good at being like in this moment right now, all my regimented stuff is whatever. Because I'm down.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Yeah. Yeah.
Adam Pally
And that's.
Zoe Lister-Jones
I do like to put it away.
Adam Pally
I think that's the key to. To being happy maybe 100% is that you do put that away. You're not defined by the boxes that you put yourself in.
Zoe Lister-Jones
No. Cause I think that so many health issues stem from anxiety and if you're too regimented then you're just fucked up all the time mentally. And I will say my partner has been helpful and I've. Cause also when you feel good about yourself, it's Helpful.
Adam Pally
Yes.
Zoe Lister-Jones
To allow.
John Gabris
That really takes a long time to learn. Learn. It's so.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Oh, no.
John Gabris
It's crazy.
Zoe Lister-Jones
It's crazy. The self love train is like. It's a slow.
Adam Pally
It's a local.
John Gabris
I had.
Adam Pally
I had a slow local.
John Gabris
My therapist just straight up said to me, he's like, have you ever said anything nice about yourself? Because I just qualify everything. I'm like, well, yeah, I'm doing this thing, but you know, it's dog. I'll be there. I'll hate it. Everyone will hate me. And they're like. He's like. And he's like, try saying something positive about yourself.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Yeah.
John Gabris
I said, I'm a pretty good swimmer. And he's like, man, man, aim higher. And I was like, if I fell
Adam Pally
off the boat, I might not die right away. How about that?
Zoe Lister-Jones
He's like.
John Gabris
He's like. He's like, you're funny, right? Do you think you're funny? I'm like, yeah, I think I'm really funny. He's like, well. But I'm like, there's. He's like, stop saying but I'm like, oh, my God, it is crazy.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Yeah.
John Gabris
And now I'll find myself. This is embarrassing to admit. Toxic masculinity is really in my way here. But I'll like look in the mirror and go, fucking, hey, man, look at you. And that's like something I started doing. And I do feel it makes me. Me giddy to say a compliment to myself. Which is crazy because I just. I mean, I never got them growing up or, you know, so it's just like now I'll just like look in the mirror and be like, hell, dude, your hair is actually looking pretty.
Adam Pally
That's great that you could. That you can do that for yourself.
John Gabris
And it's great. And it. It's crazy how a compliment from someone else feels great. A compliment from yourself feels equally great. You fake it. It's like, it's like jerking off. It's like almost as good.
Adam Pally
Yeah.
Zoe Lister-Jones
But I think that is the antidote to toxic masc masculinity. Not jerking off, but like giving yourself complimen. Because like the toxicity is just like a fragile ego with no self love. It's insecurity.
John Gabris
Right?
Zoe Lister-Jones
So if you're actually giving yourself that, then you probably won't hate when I'm
John Gabris
butting up against what I thought being masculine was like constantly in my life. And I'm like, oh, this doesn't also. What has it done for me? It's done zero.
Adam Pally
Our whole Generation is, is probably in a similar boat of like having to question what positive masculinity looks like. Because we've all been brought up in this way where, where it's like there's really only one way to be masculine, which is like this unmoving rock strength.
John Gabris
You know that like, like cowboy, soldier, cowboy.
Adam Pally
Yeah, cowboys, yeah. Like that's masculinity and then. But when you look under that and there's been like so much of it, it's like most of that is fear and like, you know, the aimlessness of the universe.
John Gabris
Like, it's so funny that like being like visibly angry and stamping around and like shouting is considered masculine. Even though that's a hissy fit. Like, and like that's like masculine behavior is like flipping the chair when you don't get what you're right. But then we watch it on Real Housewives and guys will be like, look at these crazy. It's like that's what we do when we're angry.
Adam Pally
Oh, I think the, the, the colonics make you like.
Zoe Lister-Jones
I do like the colon snatched after. I can feel snatched after. And I really like the hyperbaric chamber, which is also at my colonisist office.
Adam Pally
So this is like a former guest of the pod.
John Gabris
Ryan Stanger is a big.
Adam Pally
We've got a couple hyperbolic.
Zoe Lister-Jones
They are hyperbolic.
Adam Pally
Cuz every time I talk to you, you're like, this is the best.
John Gabris
I know, totally.
Zoe Lister-Jones
No, that I really love. And then she also has this thing there, which I don't know if it's real, but I'll believe it. Which is you put your feet in a, like a tub of water. You know about this. And then they put some sort of like ionic thing. It's like almost looks like a battery in there. They put some salt and it starts clear and then by the end it's like mud. Like something is coming out of your feet
John Gabris
that's also like David Copperfield level or like David Blaine type of. It's like, put your feet in here, we'll make it turn brown and go like this all came out of your feet and you're like, well, do you want to come back? We're going to keep getting it out of you. But that could just be. They're adding brown. Like whatever the battery is is doing that too maybe.
Zoe Lister-Jones
But I love it.
John Gabris
But if it makes you feel good
Zoe Lister-Jones
and it feels like, yeah.
John Gabris
Are you doing red light stuff? You got a solo wave at home?
Zoe Lister-Jones
I got a, I got a H dose red light mat that I I actually work out in front of it. I don't know if it's working.
Adam Pally
You got to get. When we did a television show, we got each other rap gifts and Gabris got me a infrared sauna.
Zoe Lister-Jones
That's what I want. Oh, I've seen in your house.
Adam Pally
Yeah, in my basement.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Do you go in and out every day? You do. And it makes a difference.
Adam Pally
Again, it may be placebo. It may, it may be like, whatever. But I'll, I'll go downstairs and has a 90 minute timer. So I'll, I'll, I'll set it for 90, 90 minutes. And it usually heats up to max in like 60. So I'll set it. I'll like turn it on. Workout.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Yeah.
Adam Pally
Like picking a 60 minute workout from like either the peloton or the weight thing I have.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Yeah.
Adam Pally
And then when that's done, it'll be 30 minutes left. 30 minutes left. And I'll do it. And it's like part of my thing.
Zoe Lister-Jones
That's so good.
John Gabris
I love it.
Adam Pally
It feels good. There's something about it. And again, it could just be that I'm in a hot little space.
Zoe Lister-Jones
I don't think it's placebo.
John Gabris
No, I think I believe it. I think there's object objectively benefits to sweating. Right. Like, you feel better after you sweat. Like, it's good for you. I do. I also think that there's been research done that doing a sauna at the end of your workout could simulate to your cardiovascular system and your cns, your central nervous system, that you are still exercising because you're still in a state of stress. So you can kind of extend some of the benefits of the exercise. What is what they say? And I, I do 45 minutes infrared after my workout pretty frequently. And then follow that with like a quick five minute and like super cold plunge and then get out of there for the day.
Adam Pally
I can't do it.
Zoe Lister-Jones
I can't do a cold.
Adam Pally
I've tried every which way. It's like, I just can't do it. I, I can do it for like two seconds.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Yeah.
Adam Pally
And then I start to like, panic.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Yeah.
Adam Pally
Because like, my heart starts racing. I don't want to die in here.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Yeah, I know.
Adam Pally
I don't want to die in a cold plunge.
Zoe Lister-Jones
This is not how you stay alive.
Adam Pally
No, no.
Zoe Lister-Jones
This is how you die.
Adam Pally
I'm looking around. People like, getting in. I'm like, they're like, don't. I'm like, no.
John Gabris
People say like, I'm built different as like, but I'm Literally built different than you. I'm a large person.
Zoe Lister-Jones
You swim in cold bodies of water?
John Gabris
I' always in the water. Yeah, that's like one of my life rules. If I see a body of water I've never been in before, I get in it.
Adam Pally
You got to stop doing it with fountains.
John Gabris
They count.
Adam Pally
No, they don't count. They don't count. It's hard to be with you.
John Gabris
My mom one time on a family vacation, we were at an all inclusive and my mom said she heard this huge commotion, she wanted to go see what it was. There was like a huge group of people standing around the central fountain. And what it was was me and my brothers absolutely wasted. It was like 2 in the afternoon, belly flopping into like the center fountain in this Bahamas hot was surrounded by people going like belly flop, belly flop. My brother who was like 16 at the time, Hammer just fucking sailing in there. It was so awesome. And my mom telling the story like, she's like, what's the commotion? She like pushes through and just sees her three sons going air practice.
Adam Pally
Oh yeah, I had, my brother in law had a story like that. Where he was, he was abroad and he had a friend doing his semester. He was abroad in like Australia or something. He had a friend doing it in Hong Kong. So he went to Hong Kong to see him and he had saved up all his money from like a nice Hong Kong hotel, like a really nice hotel. And so he got this like big room, but he took like a Xanax or something to get from the plane. And he got off the plane, Hong Kong and they like picked him up and he checked in. He was like doing everything. He was like, great, and where's the pool? And like didn't listen to what they said or understand it. So he got, he got into his bathrobe and his bathing suit and his slippers and walked downstairs to the middle of the lobby. Hell yeah, I took his bathing.
John Gabris
No. No.
Adam Pally
Yeah. And he's the former DA of Brooklyn. No. Yes. He was just like. I just didn't know. It looked like, he's like, it looked like a pool.
John Gabris
Oh, that's awesome.
Adam Pally
Took his thing off and just like dropped it and then got in and was like, this is shallow.
John Gabris
Wow, so many coins in there.
Adam Pally
Kind of shallow. You say he walked over to the
John Gabris
water feature, was like a, like that's so security.
Adam Pally
Like ran at him, pulled him out. He like threw him in a small room and they were yelling at him. They brought an interpreter in and he was like, I thought it was the Pool.
John Gabris
That's so funny. That's just like such a funny, like trashy American. They think, they think they're the, they can do whatever they want, wherever they want. Yeah, it's so funny.
Adam Pally
Also my, my brother in law is like sweet. It's so sweet and funny, but like a little dorky.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Yeah.
Adam Pally
So I can imagine, Imagine his hotel pool rig being quite official. You know what I mean? Like him getting down there with like goggles.
Zoe Lister-Jones
He's got goggles. Yeah, yeah, he's got the swim cap.
Adam Pally
Exactly.
Zoe Lister-Jones
And like that's so insane.
John Gabris
A book and everything.
Zoe Lister-Jones
And he's just like posting arrested in a swim cap. So dark.
John Gabris
It's like an improv everywhere bit. Truly.
Adam Pally
I was like, he was like, it was, he's like, you gotta see this fountain.
John Gabris
Nearly a pound paralyzed. Going off the diving board.
Adam Pally
Imagine you like jumped in like the
Zoe Lister-Jones
concierge standing up on it.
John Gabris
Swimmers, take your mark.
Adam Pally
Someone next was like, do you know where I can get a good meal?
John Gabris
Like dripping. Awesome. That's awesome.
Adam Pally
So where to next? What's. So are you gonna.
John Gabris
Before we ask once, I have one more health question.
Adam Pally
Oh yeah.
John Gabris
Is there anything that's out, out there in the new agey sort of alternate health thing that you want to do or you want to try that you haven't done yet? You're like, that you're curious about?
Zoe Lister-Jones
I would say that like the laser shit is kind of the crate. The craziest shit.
John Gabris
Yeah.
Zoe Lister-Jones
They take your blood out.
John Gabris
I'm hard pressed to see what's crazier than like shooting lasers at my blood?
Adam Pally
Yeah.
John Gabris
Shooting lasers at sounds like a Neil
Adam Pally
Young song from like a Blade Runner soundtrack.
John Gabris
They're shooting lasers at my blood.
Zoe Lister-Jones
I feel very good after. It's a high recommend if you can find a laser to put in your blood.
Adam Pally
I'm sure it's prohibitively expensive.
Zoe Lister-Jones
No, it's not crazy.
John Gabris
They take my blood out, put it through the centrifuge and it's like gravy.
Adam Pally
Really?
John Gabris
Like what the.
Adam Pally
No, you, you could get it done at the guy behind the car wash.
John Gabris
Sir, your blood type is al pastor.
Adam Pally
You got a laugh from that.
John Gabris
You got the, the Brett's deep. He's got the Butthead
Adam Pally
are our editors.
Zoe Lister-Jones
This room is just on fire.
John Gabris
I want to do. We should do laser blood together.
Adam Pally
I would do it. I, I, we should get, we should
John Gabris
blood laser and get each other's blood.
Adam Pally
That's how, that's.
Zoe Lister-Jones
You should do it specifically what you're
Adam Pally
not supposed to do.
John Gabris
Blood brothers.
Adam Pally
That's not what that means.
John Gabris
Blood in, blood out, bro. Come on. Stand to deliver.
Adam Pally
All of a sudden. All of a sudden you can play guitar and I can skim a flat.
John Gabris
I think I won in that category. I gained guitar ability. You gained mass consumption capabilities,
Adam Pally
which I already have. So what's that? Where. What are you gonna do now? What are you, like, are you gonna go back to. Is the. Is the wife one? The tiny wife?
Zoe Lister-Jones
Miniature wife, Multiples.
Adam Pally
Or is it one? Does she get big again?
John Gabris
Miniature wife, miniature life. That's an expression. A lot of people say.
Adam Pally
Do they learn to. Do we learn to live with her as tiny or just she.
John Gabris
No spoiler.
Zoe Lister-Jones
She does. She does. It's all out. I guess I can say it. She does get big again. And it's not limited. So it could come back.
Adam Pally
Okay, cool.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Yeah. And then Slip is also airing on Peacock now, which is like, my baby, baby.
Adam Pally
That's so exciting.
John Gabris
Wait, can you. For anyone who's watching this or listening to this doesn't know the premise of Slip because it is a fucking awesome premise. So please, please tell the listeners. I mean, like, that's like logline by, like, I'm like, I'm on board.
Adam Pally
Yeah, yeah.
Zoe Lister-Jones
It's about a woman who learns that she can teleport to parallel universes through orgasm. So the sort of central. The central set piece of every episode is me coming. And. And. And it's like, also about a woman who's like, you know, feeling trapped in her marriage and then like, fucks a guy and then wakes up the next morning married to him and then is like, wait, what's happening? And then finds herself jumping to all of her different possibilities. Possibilities.
John Gabris
Okay, you were right. Women can come. All right, I was wrong. It's more of. That's a. That's more of a me thing. Operator error. User error.
Adam Pally
I told you land is amazing.
John Gabris
I don't know, dude. I believe that. I believe the. The parallel dimension shit, but women coming. I ain't never seen it.
Adam Pally
I've seen it.
Zoe Lister-Jones
I am a unicorn that way.
Adam Pally
Seen it with my own two eyes.
John Gabris
Dry land is a myth.
Adam Pally
I'm sitting on a raft and drinking my own squirt. My homemade squirt bottle in this water world. It's so awesome that this show
John Gabris
casually recover from chugging. Squirt.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Raft. Squirt.
Adam Pally
Look. It's the duality of life.
Zoe Lister-Jones
It is.
Adam Pally
But like you. You. To get that show made in the first place is like, crazy unbelievable. And you directed it, wrote it, started everything like you always do. And then on top of that, to get it to like make it have it seen when, like, it's so hard to get it seen by, like, it's awesome. I mean, I've been through that ringer.
Zoe Lister-Jones
I know you have. It's crazy.
Adam Pally
It sucks.
John Gabris
Getting another crack at it. Getting it out there.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Oh, my God.
Adam Pally
Because now who knows what happens.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Exactly.
Adam Pally
You know, and like, I'm sure that there are people that didn't see it the first time that are going to be like, whoa, this is awesome.
John Gabris
Objectively, new eyes are going to be on it.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Yes.
John Gabris
Rules. There's like, there's like no new work. Like, you know what I mean? Like, oh, there's another. We get another swing at this and like, without having to like go pour your fucking heart into a script and all that. Yeah, like, that's.
Adam Pally
That's a dream that's been feeling good that like people are seeing it again. Are you getting like some love off it?
Zoe Lister-Jones
I. Well, it just came out today.
Adam Pally
Oh, so.
Zoe Lister-Jones
So I'm like, so it's starting now? But I literally found out it was coming out a week ago. So this very. All very new. And it was such a, like, heartache because it had been removed from the platform it was on previously. And so, like, you know, when, as you know, like when that shit happens,
John Gabris
it's like, yeah, 101 places got taken off mask.
Adam Pally
It did. A lot of my shows have. I don't think Happy Endings is streaming anywhere right now.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Really.
Adam Pally
Yeah.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Yeah. And in those moments you're like, I
Adam Pally
just am like, I. I just don't know what. I'm just. I don't know what to tell people at Passover.
John Gabris
I don't know what I've been telling girls. Like, oh, yeah, you can find that on HBO Max. And they're like, like, I can't. I'm like, you dumb. Hold on. It's actually not.
Adam Pally
It's like I. That's all that, that I really find from it now is that like, it's just much harder to tell people what you do for a living.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Yes.
Adam Pally
Even as like, you know, it used to be hard when, when I was an improv teacher.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Right.
Adam Pally
And I would be like, oh, I teach like long form improv. People be like, what the fuck is that? And I have to go through it. And now I'm like, oh, I'm a. I'm an actor. And they're like, I've never seen you on what? And you're like, oh, I did this show, Happy Endings. Like, I don't Know what that is?
Zoe Lister-Jones
Totally.
Adam Pally
It's like.
Zoe Lister-Jones
And you can't.
Adam Pally
You can't point them to anything.
John Gabris
You don't know what that is. You're not going to know the next four four things.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Exactly. Yeah. And I got help trying to say
John Gabris
you're a podcast or anything. You're like, the Uber driver's always like, me, too. And you're like, oh, no. I know, dog. I'm undoing my shift as soon as I get dropped off.
Zoe Lister-Jones
No, I was, like, sending, like, people. I was, like, on the street corner being like, you want a Dropbox link? Like, I just wanted it to be seen so badly once it got removed. And it was, like, nominated for two Indie Spirit Awards after it was removed. So we were like, at the Independent Spirit Awards, and we're like, couldn't. Everyone on the press line was like, well, we can't.
Adam Pally
It's so nice you're here.
Zoe Lister-Jones
It's so nice you're here. We can't see it. So now, like, a week ago, when I. Well, this is full circle, I was literally on the colonic. I was on the colonic table.
John Gabris
You're just rolling calls like, you do.
Adam Pally
Zoe.
John Gabris
I'll always get the tube in there and get my Bluetooth in.
Adam Pally
Zoe, I want to. Zoey, I want you to be honest with me right now.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Yeah. Am I getting too many?
Adam Pally
Have you ever talking to me on the clonic table? Are you sure?
Zoe Lister-Jones
I might have. I've texted you. On the clonic table.
Adam Pally
God damn it. Sure. I'm gonna go through my text and try to find which one is misspelled.
Zoe Lister-Jones
I was in the. Okay. I wasn't on the table yet, but in the room I was undressing. And I look at my email, and it says, slip is coming to Peacock. And I burst into tears. Naked in the colonic room.
Adam Pally
Before the clonic.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Before the clonic.
Adam Pally
Man, that. That. That staff must have been like, we'll come back.
John Gabris
Yeah.
Zoe Lister-Jones
But I also was like, I wanted so badly to just leave and celebrate because it was such a huge moment and there was no, like, lead up. Like, it wasn't like, we're taking it out and selling it. It just, like, landed in my inbox and was like, oh, in a week.
Adam Pally
Do you think, like, some assistant saw it and was like, this should be on Peacock?
Zoe Lister-Jones
I don't know.
Adam Pally
Or is it because your other shows.
Zoe Lister-Jones
It might have. Might be connected to Miniature Wife? I don't know. But. But yeah. And then I. You know, then you get on the table, and she's like, you really, you know, you're really dehydrated. Like, you're just, like, berated. And I was like, you don't understand what's happening in my life, by the way.
John Gabris
And now in my head, I can't help but think that after the kalana comes out, they shoot it with lasers and put it right back. They broken back Ghostbusters. They're like, you got to get your shit, guy.
Adam Pally
Got your rotated, man. You're at the top.
John Gabris
All right, Anyway, lasers. Bo.
Adam Pally
Doctor, why do we need to put it back in?
Zoe Lister-Jones
Don't ask me questions. No, no, they're shooting it.
John Gabris
Drink.
Adam Pally
This whole thing feels like I'm being cut.
John Gabris
It's a huge glass. Can I put in the fridge for a minute?
Zoe Lister-Jones
Oh, I hope I get pre colonics for the rest of my life from this podcast.
Adam Pally
Well, shout out the place.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Deanie Leon in the back.
Adam Pally
I honestly thought you were gonna give like a wework and be like, there's another place. This is where I do mine with a call.
Zoe Lister-Jones
It's a shared. It's a shared colonic.
Adam Pally
My desk. My colonic desk.
John Gabris
My colonosis is also my voiceover ages.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Colonic desk.
Adam Pally
I need. And where did this idea come from? Well, I was writing a totally different script at my colonic desk and the phone rang and I jump scared, started crying.
Zoe Lister-Jones
We're gonna make millions off the colonic desk by right. This is. This is like the greatest idea you've ever had. And you've had a lot of good ones.
Adam Pally
Colonic desk is up there.
John Gabris
Zoe's ready for a meeting now. Heads up. She is at the colonic desk.
Adam Pally
So masks. You guys have your masks. We haven't CO for a while.
John Gabris
So many candles burning. Yeah. You trust me?
Adam Pally
I don't know. Is. Is it like a weird, like, germaphobe? No, actually, the opposite of that.
Zoe Lister-Jones
She's releasing.
Adam Pally
All right, yeah, bring me in for the general.
Zoe Lister-Jones
I get cancelled.
Adam Pally
You read the story about Rodney Dangerfield coming to his meetings in a bathroom with one ball out. Zoe is kind of like that.
John Gabris
It's a real power move. It's like an alpha move. You know what I mean? It's like, yeah, come on in. Having a meeting. Like having a meeting in a sauna or something like that where people can't keep up.
Adam Pally
I'm picturing you, like, it's like your team. You're getting, like, nominated for an Academy Award. It's like super early in the morning and the team is like, sees it and they're like, you call her.
John Gabris
I'm not calling her again. You call her Wednesday at 10am no,
Adam Pally
because I gotta wait. Well, someone's gotta tell her the news. Call her mom. Her mom will call her. Her mom. Peyote trip.
John Gabris
We can't find her. The assist. The assistant looks at Zoe's calendar, and it's all blocked out like colonic laser. Colonic laser microbags.
Adam Pally
Well, when's she gonna. She has to go to the Academy Awards, though.
Zoe Lister-Jones
I've got. I want to do a red carpet with just. With the drip bag.
John Gabris
Oh, hell yeah. Walk me through. That's so awesome.
Adam Pally
The 360 camera knocks it over.
John Gabris
Yeah, you do that, like the thing where it's like the Matrix cam or whatever.
Adam Pally
The guy with the long hair is like, all right, Zoe, we're going to whip this around. You know how it works. You just look right here. You give.
Zoe Lister-Jones
It's like blood is hurting everywhere. You turn around, slow motion, blood coming out of my coming.
John Gabris
Oompa Loompas come in with the little eyes to shoot the laser at the blood. When it comes,
Adam Pally
their train. Zoe, blood's out.
John Gabris
You got kill it. Time to get the lasers.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Clean it. You got to clean it.
Adam Pally
And from that, some executive was like, find your show. Get it on streaming service.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Oh, man.
Adam Pally
Thanks for being here.
John Gabris
Yeah. Thanks so much for watching. Going check out the miniature wife and check out slip and Holy. I can't believe I remembered both.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Very good.
Adam Pally
Thanks for being here, Z. Thanks for having me.
John Gabris
What a treat. Thank you so much. Wow. First one, season two. ZLJ doesn't get much better than that.
Adam Pally
Who would have thought that ZLJ would have taken us to Funky Town?
John Gabris
Funky Town. I could not think of how any of the song went for, like. I'm like. I haven't heard the phrase funky town in forever. I can't stop thinking of Dan K Video. Yeah.
Adam Pally
Eventually, we'll get Evan funky on the show. We should be reaching out to. Can we. Can we make a note of that? To reach out to Evan. He. He will for sure tell us that someone has pitched that Someone has pitched that to him.
John Gabris
No, of course you can't go with their life when they.
Adam Pally
Evan funky.
John Gabris
Yeah.
Adam Pally
And then he becomes one of the best chefs ever with multiple restaurants. So it's not like this, like, funk. The one he just opened up in Los Angeles is relatively new.
John Gabris
I haven't been yet.
Adam Pally
Oh, dude, it's awesome. The pesto pasta.
John Gabris
Where is it? What?
Adam Pally
It's. It's. It's. It's so cool, too. It's in Beverly Hills. But it's like in that old space of. I forget what was there, but you have to enter through the alley.
John Gabris
Oh, sick.
Adam Pally
It's really, really.
John Gabris
Let's go.
Adam Pally
Yeah, yeah, let's go. Maybe we should do that for our thing, because we can get. Yeah, let's do that. We get. I totally forgot and hit him up in a while because he was in throwback.
John Gabris
Oh, right. Okay. I know who he is.
Adam Pally
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Right, right. He was. And then they just did. He just had a television. He had a television show on Netflix, right? About, like, he. The history of. He, like, had his own television.
John Gabris
Oh, sick. Well, yeah, well, let's.
Adam Pally
I should call. I. I didn't even think about doing that.
John Gabris
Let's go to Funky Town.
Adam Pally
First one of the year, baby.
John Gabris
One nothing. Pally, you have been listening to Staying Alive with John Gabris and Adam Pali. A Smartless Media production in association with Sirius xm.
Adam Pally
Produced by Devin Tory Bryant and Anne Harris. Engineered and edited by Devin Tory Bryant, who also wrote the music.
John Gabris
Associate producer and video producer is Matty McCann. Social media producer Tommy Galgano.
Adam Pally
Assistant engineer Kyle McGraw. Special thanks to Jared O' Connell at Sirius XM.
John Gabris
Executive producers are John Gabris. Ooh, me, Adam Pally. Ooh, you. Will Arnett, Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, Richard Corson, and Bernie Kaminski. Do us a favor. Just rate and review the podcast. It actually helps.
Adam Pally
Just so everyone knows, we do not have a discord.
John Gabris
Don't reach out to us.
Adam Pally
See us on the street. Walk the other way or you'll catch hands. You've been on. On Law and Order, right?
Zoe Lister-Jones
All four.
John Gabris
What?
Adam Pally
You're a Law and Order queen.
John Gabris
Oh, I'm so jealous.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Oh, yeah.
John Gabris
So jealous.
Zoe Lister-Jones
I think I hold a record.
Adam Pally
No, you're the only person to have been on all four Laws Orders. Yeah, like in there. That's got to be because Trial by
Zoe Lister-Jones
Jury was only on for one season.
Adam Pally
And you and you happen to be
John Gabris
coming up on TBJ. Everyone. Wednesdays at 10:30 with DMJ.
Adam Pally
I know for a fact,
Zoe Lister-Jones
Smart less.
John Gabris
And Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual.
Adam Pally
Even if it means sitting front row at a comedy show.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Hey, everyone, check out this guy and his bird. What is this, your first day?
Adam Pally
Oh, no. We help people customize and save on
John Gabris
car insurance with Liberty Mutual together.
Adam Pally
We're married. Me to a human, him to a bird.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Yeah, the bird looks out of your league.
John Gabris
Anyways, get a quote@libertymutual.com or with your local agent. Liberty Liberty Liberty Liberty.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Why have I asked my H Vac guy I found on angie.com to change my grandpa's trachea tube? Because I was so amazed by how quickly he replaced our air ducts, I knew I could trust him to change Pop Pops tube while I was was on vacation.
John Gabris
Make it quick, young man.
Zoe Lister-Jones
Aw, see? Pop up trusts you.
Adam Pally
I think we should call a doctor.
John Gabris
Connecting homeowners with skilled pros for over 30 years. Angie the one you trust to find the ones you trust. Find pros for all your home projects at Angie Combination.
Release Date: May 7, 2026
Duration: ~85 minutes
Guest: Zoe Lister-Jones
Hosts: Jon Gabrus & Adam Pally
This episode of Staying Alive features the always hilarious and refreshingly candid Zoe Lister-Jones. Hosts Jon Gabrus and Adam Pally, longtime friends and comedians on their own journeys to wellness, invite Zoe to share the sometimes wild, sometimes neurotic, but always entertaining approaches she takes to keep herself healthy, happy, and “alive.” The conversation ranges from Zoe's past as the ultimate rebellious Brooklyn teen to the ultra-modern (and ultra-weird) health routines the trio have all experimented with, digressions into therapy and body image in comedy, and a deep dive into food neuroses and feeling “snatched” at any age.
The episode is less a traditional interview and more an uproarious, semi-chaotic hang, full of sharp insights, confessions, mutual roasting, and genuine affection—a treat for fans of wellness, offbeat comedy, and Zoe’s unique presence.
Opening Banter: Adam recounts turning down an audition for a western, sparking riffing about the kinds of roles, Jewish cowboys, and agents lacking faith in clients.
“You might have faith in yourself, but I have no faith in you.” —Zoe, to Adam’s agent, [00:55]
Zoe’s Coolness Legacy: Adam and Jon reminisce about Zoe’s status as a legendary “Hot Freak Chick” in her youth in Brooklyn.
Pharmaceuticals vs. Holistics: Adam and Gabrus compare medication “stacks”—antidepressants, statins, blood pressure meds—while Zoe goes deep into the “alt” side: hyperbaric chambers, acupuncture, lasers. “I’m hitting the hyperbaric chambers. I'm doing colonics, all the holistic practices…” —Zoe, [11:41]
IV Stories & “Laser Blood”:
Philosophy on Wellness Trends: Both Zoe and Jon admit they’ll stick to new routines, even if they’re out of style:
“I’m fine with the placebo effect at this point, too.” —Jon, [19:56]
Zoe’s Workouts:
“I have a trainer… mostly just talk about the Real Housewives. It’s my favorite kind, where I’m laying down, I’m on a mat… can you believe what Dorit is doing right now?” —Zoe, [20:38]
Gym-Chat vs. Therapy-Chat:
The hosts discuss how personal trainer sessions and therapy can both morph into repetitive gab sessions—and how sometimes you need to switch things up.
Comedian Insecurity: Adam and Jon talk about body changes and the anxiety that getting “healthier” might threaten their comedic identity:
“Do I want to live longer, or be fat funny guy?” —Jon, [32:13]
Hollywood Typecasting: Candid discussion of being labeled the “fat guy” in sitcom ensembles, even when hardly overweight by real-world standards. “You were my hunky friend. And then you get on a sitcom and you’re… the dumpy fat guy.” —Jon, [33:07]
Zoe’s Diet: Gluten- and dairy-free for years, not due to an allergy but for feeling her best (and, perhaps, vexing service workers). “It’s the way I order…such a boner killer. I ask so many questions.” —Zoe, [39:00]
Dining Out Anxiety: How food restrictions bleed into social life, with jokes about getting banned from favorite restaurants. “I have alienated too many people there.” —Zoe, on an Italian spot, [40:00]
European Exception: Zoe confesses to eating gluten and dairy “with full funk” in Europe, because it “feels fine.”
Colonic Testimonial:
Work Calls on the Table:
Hosts’ Curiosity:
Jon: “Can we talk, colonic? …I’ve been dealing with GI issues my entire life, and I’m just so curious.” [52:53]
Red Light Therapy & Placebos: More riffs on at-home infrared saunas, ionic foot baths (with skepticism), and the blurred line between science and ritual. “It may be placebo… but I’ll go downstairs… 30 minutes left, and I’ll do it. And it’s like part of my thing.” —Adam, on his home infrared sauna, [63:32]
Therapy Takeaways: The group reflects on the slowness of the “self-love train,” generational masculinity, and the importance of (sometimes awkward) positive self-talk. “My therapist just straight up said to me, ‘Have you ever said anything nice about yourself?’… Now I'll just look in the mirror and be like, hell, dude, your hair is actually looking pretty.” —Jon, [59:07]
Zoe: “I think that is the antidote to toxic masculinity. …The toxicity is just like a fragile ego with no self love.” [60:27]
This episode is a perfect introduction to Staying Alive: part wellness podcast, part comedians’ therapy session, part loving roast among friends. Expect:
Essential takeaways: Don’t take yourself too seriously on the path to wellbeing; science and ritual often get muddled; laughter and friendship are the real medicine.
Listen if you love: health trends, Hollywood stories, confessional comedy, and a hearty dose of “down ass” honesty.