I Lift Lasers (w/ Zoe Lister-Jones)

Summary

Staying Alive with Jon Gabrus & Adam Pally

Episode: "I Lift Lasers" (w/ Zoe Lister-Jones)

Release Date: May 7, 2026
Duration: ~85 minutes
Guest: Zoe Lister-Jones
Hosts: Jon Gabrus & Adam Pally

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Episode Overview

This episode of Staying Alive features the always hilarious and refreshingly candid Zoe Lister-Jones. Hosts Jon Gabrus and Adam Pally, longtime friends and comedians on their own journeys to wellness, invite Zoe to share the sometimes wild, sometimes neurotic, but always entertaining approaches she takes to keep herself healthy, happy, and “alive.” The conversation ranges from Zoe's past as the ultimate rebellious Brooklyn teen to the ultra-modern (and ultra-weird) health routines the trio have all experimented with, digressions into therapy and body image in comedy, and a deep dive into food neuroses and feeling “snatched” at any age.

The episode is less a traditional interview and more an uproarious, semi-chaotic hang, full of sharp insights, confessions, mutual roasting, and genuine affection—a treat for fans of wellness, offbeat comedy, and Zoe’s unique presence.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Showbiz Friendships & The Anatomy of Cool

• Opening Banter: Adam recounts turning down an audition for a western, sparking riffing about the kinds of roles, Jewish cowboys, and agents lacking faith in clients.
  “You might have faith in yourself, but I have no faith in you.” —Zoe, to Adam’s agent, [00:55]

• Zoe’s Coolness Legacy: Adam and Jon reminisce about Zoe’s status as a legendary “Hot Freak Chick” in her youth in Brooklyn.

  • “The vibe was like shaved head with like baby bangs… big pants… polyester, like, men's leisure wear.” —Zoe, [06:37]

2. Navigating the Modern Wellness Maze

• Pharmaceuticals vs. Holistics: Adam and Gabrus compare medication “stacks”—antidepressants, statins, blood pressure meds—while Zoe goes deep into the “alt” side: hyperbaric chambers, acupuncture, lasers. “I’m hitting the hyperbaric chambers. I'm doing colonics, all the holistic practices…” —Zoe, [11:41]

• IV Stories & “Laser Blood”:

  • Adam shares a painful IV mishap on set in New Zealand, losing feeling in his hand for weeks. [13:55]
  • Zoe describes an even wilder treatment: “They take my blood out. Then they oxygenate it, and they put it through a laser, and then they put it back into me. It takes the toxins out of it.” [16:10]
  • The guys both marvel and gently roast the “blood laser” wellness craze.
    “Are you a Bond villain, Laser Zoe?” —Jon, [17:50]

• Philosophy on Wellness Trends: Both Zoe and Jon admit they’ll stick to new routines, even if they’re out of style:
  “I’m fine with the placebo effect at this point, too.” —Jon, [19:56]

3. Working Out, Real Housewives, and Motivation

• Zoe’s Workouts:
  “I have a trainer… mostly just talk about the Real Housewives. It’s my favorite kind, where I’m laying down, I’m on a mat… can you believe what Dorit is doing right now?” —Zoe, [20:38]

  • But, she gets serious “when it’s go time,” citing her role on Slip with on-screen nudity as a motivator.

• Gym-Chat vs. Therapy-Chat:
  The hosts discuss how personal trainer sessions and therapy can both morph into repetitive gab sessions—and how sometimes you need to switch things up.

4. Body Image, Comedy, and Fear of 'Losing the Funny'

• Comedian Insecurity: Adam and Jon talk about body changes and the anxiety that getting “healthier” might threaten their comedic identity:
  “Do I want to live longer, or be fat funny guy?” —Jon, [32:13]

• Hollywood Typecasting: Candid discussion of being labeled the “fat guy” in sitcom ensembles, even when hardly overweight by real-world standards. “You were my hunky friend. And then you get on a sitcom and you’re… the dumpy fat guy.” —Jon, [33:07]

5. Food Issues, Extreme Diets, and Ordering Anxiety

• Zoe’s Diet: Gluten- and dairy-free for years, not due to an allergy but for feeling her best (and, perhaps, vexing service workers). “It’s the way I order…such a boner killer. I ask so many questions.” —Zoe, [39:00]

• Dining Out Anxiety: How food restrictions bleed into social life, with jokes about getting banned from favorite restaurants. “I have alienated too many people there.” —Zoe, on an Italian spot, [40:00]

• European Exception: Zoe confesses to eating gluten and dairy “with full funk” in Europe, because it “feels fine.”

6. Colonics, Hyperbarics & Next-Level Alternative Wellness

• Colonic Testimonial:

  • Zoe became a colonic regular after a doctor declared her “toxic”—and claims real benefits, from GI relief to clearer skin. “I feel good, good. And you know, like, after flying or whatever… my colonist talks about it to me and she’s like, I have a lot of people on GLP1s coming.” —Zoe, [54:19]

• Work Calls on the Table:

  • “I have taken a work call on the (colonic) table… it was a notes call.” —Zoe, [55:40]

• Hosts’ Curiosity:
  Jon: “Can we talk, colonic? …I’ve been dealing with GI issues my entire life, and I’m just so curious.” [52:53]

• Red Light Therapy & Placebos: More riffs on at-home infrared saunas, ionic foot baths (with skepticism), and the blurred line between science and ritual. “It may be placebo… but I’ll go downstairs… 30 minutes left, and I’ll do it. And it’s like part of my thing.” —Adam, on his home infrared sauna, [63:32]

7. Self-Love, Mental Health, and Masculinity

• Therapy Takeaways: The group reflects on the slowness of the “self-love train,” generational masculinity, and the importance of (sometimes awkward) positive self-talk. “My therapist just straight up said to me, ‘Have you ever said anything nice about yourself?’… Now I'll just look in the mirror and be like, hell, dude, your hair is actually looking pretty.” —Jon, [59:07]

• Zoe: “I think that is the antidote to toxic masculinity. …The toxicity is just like a fragile ego with no self love.” [60:27]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On embracing the weirdness of alt-medicine:
  “The thing about me is, like, I really don’t ask questions of my healers. …I’m a down ass bitch when it comes to everything in your life.” —Zoe [17:56]
• On routine vs. obsession:
  “If you’re too regimented then you’re just fucked up all the time mentally…so many health issues stem from anxiety.” —Zoe [58:37]
• On positive self-talk as a dude:
  “Toxic masculinity is really in my way here…But I’ll like look in the mirror and go, fcking, hey, man, look at you…It makes me giddy.”* —Jon [59:47]
• On the placebo effect and self-improvement:
  “Fine with the placebo effect at this point…If I feel great when I get out of there…it’s never going away for me.” —Jon, about cold plunges [19:56]
• On Hollywood casting and self-image:
  "You were my hunky friend. And then you get on a sitcom and you’re… the dumpy fat guy." —Jon, [33:07]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [06:37] – Zoe’s “Hot Freak Chick” teen years & fashion legacy
• [11:41] – Zoe’s holistic and alternative health routine rundown
• [13:55] – Adam’s brutal IV story on set
• [16:10] – Zoe explains her “laser blood” treatment
• [20:38] – Description of her favorite kind of “workout”
• [32:13] – Jon on body image, being funny, and health
• [39:00] – Zoe on restrictive ordering, food neuroses, and service industry guilt
• [54:19] – Zoe’s testimonial about colonics
• [59:07] – The group on self-love, affirmation, and evolving masculinity
• [63:32] – Adam’s home infrared sauna ritual
• [68:12] – The wildest alt-treatment Zoe’s had (laser blood)
• [70:58] – Zoe explains the premise of Slip (her Peacock series)
• [75:14] – Receiving news about Slip on the colonic table

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Episode Highlights & Tone

• The conversation is relentlessly playful, frequently derailing into tangents about sitcom stereotypes, Real Housewives, gym rituals, and personal anxieties.
• There’s a steady undercurrent of support and encouragement among the three—honest admissions of insecurities and the long road to both physical and mental well-being.
• The tone is wildly irreverent, boldly honest, with just enough gross-out moments and TMI for genuine laughs, but always circling back to something both practical and oddly inspiring.

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For New Listeners

This episode is a perfect introduction to Staying Alive: part wellness podcast, part comedians’ therapy session, part loving roast among friends. Expect:

• Candid talk about bodies, health, and insecurities
• Outrageous alternative therapies (laser blood! colonics-on-Zoom!)
• A lot of food talk—from dietary restrictions to European cheat meals
• Showbiz war stories and wellness journeys woven together

Essential takeaways: Don’t take yourself too seriously on the path to wellbeing; science and ritual often get muddled; laughter and friendship are the real medicine.

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Listen if you love: health trends, Hollywood stories, confessional comedy, and a hearty dose of “down ass” honesty.

Transcript

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Smart.

[Adam Pally]

Bless me. My agent called me the other day and goes, I got an audition. Some or someone called to ask if you would read for a western. And I said, no, Is that okay? And I was like, what? And he was like, I just thought, what are we doing? I was like, I could do a western.

[John Gabris]

You're like, I'm one of those guys who's like, there were Jewish cowboys.

[Adam Pally]

But then I'm like, why am I going to go down that road? So I was just like. I was like, I could. I could do it. He's like, oh, do you have a western? You have an accent. And I was like, why not? And then I'm like. In my head, I'm like, starting. I'm like, oh, yeah, partner.

[John Gabris]

Like.

[Adam Pally]

So I was just like, I don't. I didn't work on one. And he's like, right. So, like. Like, let's just let it go. And I'm like, all right.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Crazy.

[Adam Pally]

I know. I was like, all right. And he's like, moving on, you know, we'll get something.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

He's like, you might have faith in yourself, but I have no faith in you.

[Adam Pally]

I don't have faith in you.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Stretching right now, you guys, before you

[Adam Pally]

stret, you have to run. And you've been kind of.

[John Gabris]

That's the expression. Well, eventually you got to learn to run before you can learn to stretch.

[Adam Pally]

Well, otherwise, what are you stretching for or from? You're just, like, sitting in the gym, bent over, like there's nothing else.

[John Gabris]

Now. You know my workout plan on Mondays, it's chest and tries Wednesdays back. And by Friday, I'm just bent over. We got a good one today, pals.

[Adam Pally]

We have an amazing one today.

[John Gabris]

We have a big one. Your bud, I. I met.

[Adam Pally]

When I met her.

[John Gabris]

Through you, she rules.

[Adam Pally]

She's the best. Yeah, Best ever. She's. I have. I have so many different kinds of relationships with her because, like, she wrote and directed me in a movie that she also. She also acted and cast me in.

[John Gabris]

And.

[Adam Pally]

And so she's like, I revere her as my director. Right. In a way, you know, like, I still want to impress her. I still want her to, like, that she picked me.

[John Gabris]

Right, Right.

[Adam Pally]

You know, like, I feel like that feeling never goes away.

[John Gabris]

Of course.

[Adam Pally]

And then on top of them, to pick you again. Exactly. Or just keep picking you. Right, right. And then. And then on top of it, she's also one of my close friends. So we have, like. Because we did the movie 10 years ago, so our lives have gone through these, you know, Huge shifts and stuff. And so we just text all the time. And then on a third thing. She's so hot, right?

[John Gabris]

Yeah, the third one really hits for me.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[John Gabris]

I'm not really good friends with her. Met her through you. She rules. But, yeah, she's objectively beautiful.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah. Yeah. Yes. There's like.

[John Gabris]

And that's the thing, because, like, that's the one thing we. Now that we know we're doing a video podcast, we want to have. We have hot hosts already. We got to have more hot guests, so it's. It's working out great.

[Adam Pally]

I know. And thank God that Zoe said yes, because she's the hottest person I know.

[John Gabris]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

I know more hot people.

[John Gabris]

I know a few more, but they don't know me.

[Adam Pally]

I don't think that qualifies.

[John Gabris]

No, I know them from a distance. I have photos of them from.

[Adam Pally]

You have to use the word distance next time. You can't skip that word next time, because when you don't use distance, when you go, I know these people. Yeah. It's different.

[John Gabris]

Yeah. People don't realize that I'm not actually friends with Stefania Model. You've got deep cut.

[Adam Pally]

Let's get to the interview. Zoe Lister Jones. You're. Are you. This is a huge press store. Are you tired? This is a huge.

[John Gabris]

Obviously, it's a huge press store. You're hitting all the big ones.

[Adam Pally]

Well, no, this is like, dog, you're. But you. You're on my phone. Besides, we text every day. But you're on my phone more than, like, you're in the feed. You're in it.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Really?

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

That's exciting.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, you are.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

They've been, like, really pushing Miniature Wife. It's so cool to be on a show that has money that people care about.

[Adam Pally]

What's that like?

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

I literally forgot what it was like then. I was like, billboards, like, what?

[Adam Pally]

I know. I feel like it doesn't exist anymore.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

No.

[John Gabris]

But I think billboards are just for the talent. Right. Just so you can see it.

[Adam Pally]

That's the Hollywood. That's the Hollywood secret, right? That, like, they'll put a billboard up by the creator's house.

[John Gabris]

Well, yeah. Well, like Netflix has. They always get that one that's on sunset by them. And then they have a conference room that they could open the windows at. And, like, so I have a feeling like, Ryan. Like, when they have their Ryan Murphy meeting, they're like, don't worry. He's like, oh, crazy. You can see your billboard from here.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

So funny. No, I hear that. But then I'm like, I think billboards work. Am I crazy? I learn about shows from billboards.

[John Gabris]

Oh, for sure. I frequently will. A show will just turn up on one of my streamers and I go, that's what that fucking picture is. You know, like. Like I'm like. Because, you know, I'll be driving and I'll be like, oh, cool. A beautiful person I recognize. I like. And then I don't really get the context of what it is.

[Adam Pally]

I think that's west coast specific or L A specific because I just. In New York, the billboards are different. They're like on cabs. They're not changed quicker.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Yeah.

[John Gabris]

They're carry the Carrie Bradshaw bus ad.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah. But they're just like, they're road. Sometimes they're really rotated slow. Well, you'll have like, yeah, a show from like a sci Fi network that doesn't even exist anymore will like go past on the M73.

[John Gabris]

Or you're like,

[Adam Pally]

yeah, yeah, but. But then. So like, I feel like a West coast thing where billboards work. Cuz in New York you're just like, every billboard is like a lawyer. It's like, have you been hurt on 57th Street?

[John Gabris]

Well, yeah. I like when I was like living in New York, I was commuting from like the Carol Street F stop and the subway posters were the same for the nine years I lived.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah. Doctor Is.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Thanks doctor That I had a doctor Zizmore. I like took it out of a subway when I was in junior high school. I grew up in Brooklyn and I put it on my wall.

[John Gabris]

Oh, that's awesome.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

It was like.

[Adam Pally]

You were the coolest though. You were the coolest. Like, whatever. Whatever you're doing now to. To stay as amazingly beautiful as you've and fit as you've always been is. Is incredible. But what is also incredible about Zoe is that she was the coolest rebellious young. Like, there are pictures of Zoe at 16 that will blow your mind. That will make that.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

That's you.

[John Gabris]

What was the. What was the vibe? Like? I've been dressing the same since I was like 13.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

So the vibe was like shaved head with like baby bangs. Like skater baby bangs.

[John Gabris]

Oh, hell yeah.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Sometimes they were a different color. It was like big pants.

[John Gabris]

Yes.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

And then like also like polyester, like men's leisure wear.

[John Gabris]

Oh, hell yeah. I would have been in love with you and never spoke to you for like. I would have been like, that is my. I would have been like, I have an absolute crush on her. I'm terrified of her. I will Never interact with her.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, she was like the coolest.

[John Gabris]

I had like four girls like that online island we call. I called him Hot. Freak Chick was the name of like

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

that was my friend.

[John Gabris]

She had like a hello Kitty visor and I was like, hot Freak chick has got space buns and Jankos. I'm in love. Will you interact with her? God, no. I'm. I'm not talking to anyone. I got Star Wars.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

I think I was just Freak Chick. And it was also like Chick Quester Mark.

[John Gabris]

You know, bald head and baby bangs is a choice. That's like a Dick Tracy character.

[Adam Pally]

Sleep apnea monster.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

It was, it was, it was. And my mom, we went to Mexico together when I was in that phase. And people would be like, oh, nino. And she'd be like, no, no, no, nino. And they just thought she didn't speak Spanish. And they'd be like, no, nino sin

[John Gabris]

pelo esco Nino no tiene pelo.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Oh boy. Hello, Pebe.

[Adam Pally]

I'm picturing your mom being like, come on, let's go look at their art.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Yeah. No, we were like hitchhiking on the side of the road. Be a boy, be a boy.

[John Gabris]

It's actually safer for boys to hitchhike.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

100%.

[John Gabris]

Yeah. Royal Caribbean takes next level to another level. Go all in on the world's boldest ships. Filled with mind blowing entertainment, world class dining and the largest water parks at sea. And just when you think it couldn't get any better, you'll stop at our award winning private island. Perfect day Cococay. It's an unreal adventure for everyone in the family book [e-mail] Big time, best time, all the time. Come seek the Royal Caribbean ships registry Bahamas.

[Adam Pally]

I wanted to ask. We'll ask you now. What are your.

[John Gabris]

We're ask the one question.

[Adam Pally]

We don't have any.

[John Gabris]

They try to give us.

[Adam Pally]

They.

[John Gabris]

They stopped even giving us research on the guests because we. Adam would just grab it frantically and just read like one thing wrong. You'd be like, so you're on a lister of different Joneses. You're like, no, you are so wrong. Oh, so you went to ucla and he's like, no.

[Adam Pally]

You think I give a casual vibe on a movie set? And I feel like I'm. I know.

[John Gabris]

Yeah. Let's add more front porching.

[Adam Pally]

I front porch. I feel like I know that the answer because I. What are you doing to stay alive

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

so much?

[John Gabris]

Well, yeah. I mean that is no judgment from us. We have.

[Adam Pally]

I mean you're looking at Because I was going over my list of medications last night and I thought that like last night I was sitting and the cast was. A crew was around and I was like joking about my medications, which is real. How many medications I take for a day. And when I said the number, our friend John Daly, who was sitting next to me, went, what? In such a serious way, like, concerned that I then like. Yeah, shocked, like reproached back. And I was like, I don't think, you know, and he's like, that's a lot of pills a day.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

And you're talking supplements or.

[Adam Pally]

No, like actual, like what I prescribed by multiple.

[John Gabris]

By my father.

[Adam Pally]

By my father. By physicians. Other physicians.

[John Gabris]

By the way, when you say I have to take so many pills because they were prescribed. Described to me by my father, that is like the beginning of like a sad biopic.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, well, me and my dad are Gray garden just in two silk scarves. And he's telling me how Beanie felt.

[John Gabris]

Guitar together.

[Adam Pally]

He's telling me how Beanie felt. He was miscast. But no, I, like, I, you know, like, I don't think it's. We've gone over this. I. I have antidepressant.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

Adhd.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

Cholesterol, statin and reflux.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

That doesn't seem crazy to me.

[John Gabris]

No, but that's completely reasonable.

[Adam Pally]

But that's, but when you.

[John Gabris]

That's middle aged man. That's middle aged.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, that's what I even think.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

That's middle aged man.

[John Gabris]

Yeah.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

At this point, I mean. But all the kids are on that. I'm on five.

[Adam Pally]

But. But still, when I was like, I took five pills to stay alive. I was. People were like, whoa. So you will, you will get no judgment.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, well, you know, I don't really do the pharmaceuticals, but I'm hitting the hyperbaric chambers. I'm doing colon.

[John Gabris]

You're more of a.

[Adam Pally]

Do your own research.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Come to an acupuncture.

[John Gabris]

You're telling me the. The woman who grew up with a shaved head in Brooklyn is into alternative medication? I do not believe that.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

I know. Listen, I love to surprise the audience. Yeah, I'm doing, I'm doing like the list is so long of the holistic practices.

[John Gabris]

I'm participating in probably a small chunk of that talk too. Yeah, I'm doing the sauna. I'm doing like the Austin meathead stack. Like the sauna. The col plonge, bca, creatine. Yeah, yeah. I'm a bit mah. To be honest. I agree with a lot of their Stuff I'm drinking the aquarium cleaner.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally.

[John Gabris]

I'm. I am very pro. Son. I think I have a similar color to RFK Jr which is unfortunate for me.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[John Gabris]

I don't know why I had to show it there. I have it here.

[Adam Pally]

There's so many other places.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

I don't know your legs are.

[Adam Pally]

I, like, lift my legs often times. Oftentimes that's the least sunned place.

[John Gabris]

I lifted my shirt up and I was like, why am I doing this?

[Adam Pally]

You do look good, buddy.

[John Gabris]

I know. I saw a 7 on the scale the other day, so. 279.

[Adam Pally]

Whoa.

[John Gabris]

I haven't seen a seven in there. I mean, I've seen a seven when it was 307 when it was the front number seven.

[Adam Pally]

Oh, five.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Wow.

[Adam Pally]

That's crazy.

[John Gabris]

Yeah, it's wild. Well, yeah, but throw my stack out there. I'm on GLP1s, two different blood pressure medications, a. A statin, and, you know, assorted erection stuff. All kinds of trying.

[Adam Pally]

Everything unprescribed and from. That's like the elbow, mostly from gas stations. Yeah.

[John Gabris]

The bodega packs, coke, weed. Yeah, I'm on that Kanye west honey pack with the. With the rhino horn kicker.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Keep talking.

[John Gabris]

Yeah, I can't keep talking. All the blood's in my pecker. I'm going to faint like a canary.

[Adam Pally]

Somebody's going to grab your phone and unlock your thing and be like, adam, write it down. So start at the beginning. All right. What's body wise? You're doing body wise. Like, I'm doing acupuncture.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

I do acupuncture.

[Adam Pally]

I don't know why this was. But I couldn't get.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

I know. I was like, but I do acupuncture. I do. I also. With an iv. I like. I like. I like. With an iv.

[John Gabris]

I've done an iv, maybe not in a hospital five times in my life, and four of them were with that.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

They've really. They. They do make a difference.

[Adam Pally]

They make a huge. You want to hear a bad IV story?

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Oh, God. Is it the needle?

[Adam Pally]

It's kind of recent. When I was in New Zealand.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Yeah.

[John Gabris]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

La. A couple months ago. That the. It was like, long productions, you know, like, that's the first thing production seems to throw at the actor when even the, like, remote. Like, every production is the same way. You know what I mean? It's like the Thursday of the third week and everyone's a little tired, and it's like.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Like, drop your pants. We're sticking you with the Needle.

[Adam Pally]

Immediately, some producer comes around that you've never met before and is like, we're going to do IVs.

[John Gabris]

We're gonna do the same thing we

[Adam Pally]

did to Shirley temple, you know, IVs and a B12. And while you're turned around getting the B12, who knows what'll happen? And you're like.

[John Gabris]

Because they can't give you cocaine anymore,

[Adam Pally]

Keep you awake anymore. So you're just like, all right, whatever.

[John Gabris]

And so, like, we're having a coffee truck and random injections.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Yeah.

[John Gabris]

You're like, oh, sick.

[Adam Pally]

Truly. And so the. So the nurse came, and it was late at night. It was a night shoot.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

And I was not paying attention. I was, like, talking to. Sitting in. In one of those, like, cash chairs, talking to someone. And all of a sudden, I felt like I was getting cut. Like, I felt like I was, like, getting cut. And I. I was like, ow, ow. And she's like, what? And she was, like, standing over there, and I was like, oh, I think something's, like, wrong. So she, like, ran over and pulled it out. And I was, like, numb on my fingers, like, all the way down. And it didn't stop. Like, the bleeding was bad. You can still kind of see it. No, but she, like, she. They, like, stopped it. And then she went in the other arm and it was fine. And everyone was like, just keep going on the day. And I, like, finished the day, went home, slept, woke up the next day and was like, that's not right.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

No.

[Adam Pally]

And call my dad. He's like, oh, she probably had a nerve. Probably like a week and a half, two weeks.

[John Gabris]

No.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

That you didn't have feeling that I

[Adam Pally]

was like, couldn't jerk off with my

[John Gabris]

legs, you know, Gator. Well, you could, but it felt like someone else sometimes.

[Adam Pally]

Because I want. It went a little different.

[John Gabris]

You know, Gatorade doesn't do that to you.

[Adam Pally]

I know.

[John Gabris]

It's like, thank God I got an IV for my health now. You're like, no cheerleads.

[Adam Pally]

It's gonna be the dumbest thing ever if I wake up dead tomorrow. A New Zealand that all the time. Yeah.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Because I get one that's crazy. Where they take my blood out.

[Adam Pally]

Oh, wait, this is beyond.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Then they oxygenate it, and they put it through a laser, and then they put it back into me.

[John Gabris]

What the hell?

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

It takes the toxins out of it.

[Adam Pally]

The laser does.

[John Gabris]

I don't know, but I pay so much extra for it.

[Adam Pally]

Someone told you that a laser was taking toxins out of blood that has been taken out of your body and they're putting the blood back in. And it's better now. And you're like, oh, great.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

How much does that cost?

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

No questions asked.

[Adam Pally]

I don't want to.

[John Gabris]

I'm not going to this blood oil change stuff. I'm seeing more and more people do it. Like, a friend of mine told us about it. Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

He had some. Something similar.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Yes. But it feels dangerous.

[John Gabris]

Yeah, I do.

[Adam Pally]

Like, that sounds dangerous.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Dangerous.

[John Gabris]

I. A friend of mine gets their blood drawn. It goes through a centrifuge and then directly gets plasma injected into his bald spots. And it's like promoting stimulating.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

I've gotten that too. Just on my. On my face for longer bangs.

[Adam Pally]

That's how I got. That's. They did that around my bangs to get the bag to grow.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

No, I got. It's like vampire facial. But they took it out. Then they. Yeah, whatever.

[John Gabris]

They whip it up.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

They whip it up and they put it back in.

[John Gabris]

They hit it with. They hit it with a little salt

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

bay, you know, a little Maldon.

[John Gabris]

The Maldon smoked for me, please.

[Adam Pally]

So that. So that's. That's a big deal. Is it recovery?

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

No, no, no recovery. And then there's another one that they do. They. They do like vitamins with lasers into my arm.

[Adam Pally]

What?

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

I don't know what the laser doctor.

[John Gabris]

My parents wouldn't even let me get

[Adam Pally]

in the laser industry.

[John Gabris]

It's Dr. Evil.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah. Who's doing it?

[John Gabris]

Are you a Bond villain, Laser? Zoe?

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

I don't. This is. The thing about me is, like, I really don't ask questions of my healers. I'm just like, pretty. I'm a down ass bitch when it

[Adam Pally]

comes to everything in your life. Everything. And everybody I know. That's Zoe.

[John Gabris]

I talk about this a lot. I'm in the same boat. Like, I add something, my regimen, because it was recommended to me. And then if three years later, people are like, no one is doing that anymore. I'm like, I. I'm not dropping it. Like, I just like, I've got pills in my stack that people are like, I don't think anyone's taking horse albumin anymore. Or whatever. And I'm like, it comes from the horse eggs. It's actually really good horse eggs.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, well, you guys, that's what horses

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

come out of it.

[Adam Pally]

Of course. That's why they're so small at first.

[John Gabris]

Well, they're technically pony eggs.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[John Gabris]

You know the expression. Which came first, the horse or the egg? The egg.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

And you just got to be really Careful when the stork drops them off.

[John Gabris]

You don't want to get the egg before the horse.

[Adam Pally]

And if it gets cracked, oh, God help us all. That's why jockeys are so small. They aren't fed horses. You guys are very similar to me in my life. Like, both of you are. Like, when you say that, it's like, oh, yeah. That's your defining characteristic is that you are just a down ass. Like, you're just like, what do you want to do? We'll do it. What do you want? What do you need? We'll do it. What do you want to do? We'll do it. What? Whatever you need. And that's kind of how Gabrius is. I feel, like, very similar.

[John Gabris]

I'm just, you know, I'm a. I'm.

[Adam Pally]

I'm down ass.

[John Gabris]

I'm. I'm a down ass. Yeah, you are 100% that according to my 23 and me.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

Mine said spartic.

[John Gabris]

You get your N23 mag, it says down, and you're like, oh, no, that says ass, bitch.

[Adam Pally]

You're like, no, no, that says down' space.

[John Gabris]

I knew it. I have multiple extra chromosomes. Is going to be a problem.

[Adam Pally]

And you can't stand up, but all

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

of them are that big.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[John Gabris]

Like, I. I'll stick with stuff that I think is. I'm like, fine with the placebo effect at this point, too. Like, people are like, I don't think cold plunges really does anything. I'm like, well, I feel great when I get out of there, and I feel like I accomplished something by, like, powering through it so it's never going away for me.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah. So what are you doing workout wise?

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Not enough. But I have a trainer who.

[John Gabris]

My arms and legs taken off. They shoot them with lasers and then

[Adam Pally]

they put them back on.

[John Gabris]

Lasers.

[Adam Pally]

I lift lasers. Mostly I move lasers into my. Into my facialist's office. It's like this big cardio. All of us do it.

[John Gabris]

My parents wouldn't even let me have the laser background for my school picture. We couldn't even afford that. And you're getting beamed in and out

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

of moving the laser machines in and out. No, I have a trainer and I work out with her. We, like, mostly just talk about the Real Housewives, you know what I mean? It's one of those workouts, which is my favorite kind, where I'm laying down, I'm on a mat, and I'm kind of like half. I'm like, can you believe what Dorit is doing right now? And I pay attention to none of my form, nor does she. But we get into it, right?

[Adam Pally]

Emotionally.

[John Gabris]

Emotionally.

[Adam Pally]

Emotionally.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Yeah. We've been. We've been working out for a decade together. And when I'm really, like, for this show slip that I have, that's out now. I am naked a lot.

[Adam Pally]

So you were really on it.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

I was on it for that one because I really wanted to be snatched. And then we're not talking. Then if it's go time, we go. And we're doing mostly Matt Pilates, yoga stuff. But it hasn't been go time for a minute.

[Adam Pally]

But you're chilling right now, and I'm

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

really deep in the bravoverse, so.

[Adam Pally]

Right.

[John Gabris]

Yeah. I'm actually.

[Adam Pally]

The harder the bravoverse, the less in shape.

[John Gabris]

Doing double sessions this week just to catch up. There's a reunion or whatever on my

[Adam Pally]

flight on Saturday morning was Teresa Giudice.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

No.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah. And I saw her.

[John Gabris]

How you say her name? Yeah, I'm uncomfortable saying it.

[Adam Pally]

It's not. That's not.

[John Gabris]

It's not. D.J.

[Adam Pally]

judice.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Judice.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[John Gabris]

Judiciary.

[Adam Pally]

I learned that when I said, Big fan, Mr. Dice. And she said, not how you pronounce it.

[John Gabris]

Oh, no, she said, these are judice

[Adam Pally]

y.

[John Gabris]

I was pointing to your tattoo, not your balls.

[Adam Pally]

No, but I was like, how did you know my balls are square? I know how Zoe knows.

[John Gabris]

That's why I went. I was pointing to the hard four.

[Adam Pally]

But. And then. And then we. It was like, kind of awkward up front. And. And then we boarded, and it was. This is like 5, 4 in the morning at Newark. Oh, right.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

My God.

[Adam Pally]

And then. And.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

And.

[Adam Pally]

And so I was probably not. I probably shouldn't. Shouldn't have said anything, but I was just like, that's so funny. Like, no, she's.

[John Gabris]

She's a huge star.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Of course.

[Adam Pally]

So then they. We go to sit, and I'm 3A, she's 3B. No, no. And I'm like. So I'm like, I'm just gonna sleep the whole time because that's. I can do that. I'm like, this will be non. We won't even talk because I know she's already not.

[John Gabris]

This is how I dealt with my father as a kid. I could fake like I'm sleep until he leaves for work.

[Adam Pally]

That's how I felt. I was like, I'm just gonna do it. So, like, I took edible at 4am at 4am yeah. No joke. Because I like to do that. And it feels like time travel, right? Totally. Because by the time the plant stuck, you're like, like, yeah, when you eat,

[John Gabris]

like, meatballs marinara and drink a glass of red wine and it's 7am like

[Adam Pally]

that, you're like, I passed out for 12 hours. But so I, I, I did that. And I, like, turned over. As soon as they could lie down, I passed out. But I woke up and I had to go to the bathroom room, and she was asleep, and I was like, no. And I.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

No, you didn't.

[John Gabris]

Yes.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

You mounted Judiciary.

[Adam Pally]

I mounted JI dj. I climbed Mount Judice. And it was no Sherpa. No, I went, I went without a guide, and it was dark.

[John Gabris]

It was pretty solo.

[Adam Pally]

And. And the stakes had never been higher. Of course not, because. And I.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

It's like mission impossible.

[Adam Pally]

It truly was, because I can, like.

[John Gabris]

And you have rollerblades on your plane. Blade are easier.

[Adam Pally]

I got to keep my blood circulated. You know, you can buy those at the Hudson News now.

[John Gabris]

So I go up to that super expensive vending machine and buy noise canceling headphones.

[Adam Pally]

And I. And, And I made it over and was like, holy. I did it. And when I came back, she was awake.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Oh, God. Oh, my God.

[Adam Pally]

And she didn't say anything. And I went back to my seat and I was like, I woke her up. I woke her up. And she was, like, not psyched.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

No.

[Adam Pally]

And the rest of, like, the last, like, hour, two hours of the flight was just like, like, so awkward. So intense.

[John Gabris]

And I'm sure sounds like a fifth edible time if you ask me.

[Adam Pally]

I was just gonna say I'm sure I was high.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

And she didn't care at all that I messed up her name or whatever, but the stakes of you. Prostitution in my head.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Well, the woman's been in prison.

[Adam Pally]

Yes.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

I mean, and I read and I already started off.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

And then she was.

[John Gabris]

And she palmed her butter knife.

[Adam Pally]

It was so terrifying.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Incredible.

[Adam Pally]

So terrifying.

[John Gabris]

I. I woke up one time, I was dead.

[Adam Pally]

I took a picture of her, by the way. I'll show it to you.

[John Gabris]

Never sleeping.

[Adam Pally]

No. I took a picture of her standing because she was really pissed. She. I, I was, like, texting with Casey the whole time. I was like, I've pissed her off.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

I pissed her off.

[Adam Pally]

She's like, she's nice. She's nice. I was like, no, no. She's, like, pissed off. And then I text at. At baggage. She was, like, standing, like, like, glaring at me like that. And. And so I was like, I'm gonna take a picture. And so I, like, took my phone out and I was like, hi.

[John Gabris]

Hi.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Oh, my God.

[Adam Pally]

And then I sent it to Casey. She's like, oh, yeah. You know she's not pissy. Yeah, yeah.

[John Gabris]

Oh, no, she's actually pissed, actually. She. I thought she was really nice, but

[Adam Pally]

no, this is her actual anchor or mad at the baggage or whatever. And I was still high, but it was like not a good. Yeah, it wasn't a good face.

[John Gabris]

I was asleep in the aisle seat one time and I woke up to just boom. And I sat up and a woman was facing me, straddling me. She had slipped. Her foot has slipped off. I was. And I was like so high. And I'm like, just wake up. And a woman is like a foot in front of me. And she's so red faced her. She's like fully on my lap. And I'm like, I'm like. And I like wake up ready to fight. Like I don't know what it is. I'm like. And she's like, oh my God. She's like, literally. And I'm like, help her get off me. Like, it was like, it got like. I was like, this is. We're either fucking or fighting in this next moment. I like picked her up by her hips and just like put her in the aisle. I was like, I'll help you. But it was like instinctive. And I was like. And I was like, I touched that woman inappropriately. And I was like. Well, I think it was on her first. Yeah. So I think that was completely fair. But I truly just woke up to. And I could tell she was so embarrassed. And in my mind she was. Must have been standing on the armrest. No, no, that was one of the.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

What?

[John Gabris]

Another time I was on a red eye that had so much lightning that and so much turbulence that the woman grabbed my. A woman next to me grabbed my hand and I looked over at her and she was like this beautiful woman. I was like, she's holding my hand. She's like, I'm so scared. I'm like, we're going to be okay. Cut to one hour later. Her head is in my lap. No, she's crying. No, I'm like rubbing her should. What the. I'm just like the plane's husband at this point. I'm like, what do you need? This woman is literally holding my leg.

[Adam Pally]

Is anybody a husband?

[John Gabris]

Well, I used to be. I still have a lot of my certifications.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

That's insane.

[John Gabris]

It was. She was. And that when we landed, she was like, thank you so much. I was like, you're welcome. Thank you, babe. That was. Made my flight Like I didn't call her babe. I was in my head.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Great.

[John Gabris]

I thought we're still doing the husband role play. Sorry.

[Adam Pally]

No problem.

[John Gabris]

For real, where are your bags? I told you, just do carry on. But no, you have to check your bag. You need multiple options. We're here for three days. You wanted a husband, you got it.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

From babe to classic husband ship.

[John Gabris]

Of course, that's what we My relationship relationship book.

[Adam Pally]

From babe to from babe.

[John Gabris]

You want to help write our relationship 100% that babe.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Yeah, exactly.

[Adam Pally]

The Staying alive relationship book. Forward by Zoe Lister. Joe.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Still figuring out Mother's Day? We can arrange that with edible.

[John Gabris]

It's easy to send a gift mom will love without the last minute stress.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Order online in just a few clicks and choose delivery or easy in store pickup. From fresh fruit arrangements to chocolate dipped treats, edible makes it simple to celebrate mom with something thoughtful, delicious and beautifully made. This Mother's Day, skip the scramble. Send a gift that feels special and let edible help make it all come together.

[John Gabris]

And Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual.

[Adam Pally]

Even if it means sitting front row

[John Gabris]

at a comedy show.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Hey everyone. Check out this guy and his bird. What is this your first date?

[Adam Pally]

Oh, no.

[John Gabris]

We help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual to get together.

[Adam Pally]

We're married. Me to a human, him to a bird.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Yeah, the bird looks out of your league.

[John Gabris]

Anyways, get a'@libertymutual.com or with your local agent.

[Adam Pally]

Liberty, Liberty.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Liberty, Liberty.

[John Gabris]

Ever walk past a place for rent and wish you could just take a peek inside? Maybe even explore the layout? Envision the natural light streaming through the windows.

[Adam Pally]

Or plan where your vinyl record collection would go.

[John Gabris]

At apartments.com you can. With tools like their 3D virtual tours, you can see the exact unit you could be living in. Really envision yourself in your new home with apartments.com the place to find a place. It's crazy when you leave a personal training session that you kind of chatted the whole time with. And then when you like venmo them, you're like, oh, what am I paying for here? I'm like, I'm like, I gotta three times.

[Adam Pally]

Personal training does veer into. Into the similar thing with therapy slightly where you're like, sometimes I do feel better. Sometimes I do see results. However. However. Is this a gilded cage, right? You know, like, have you put me in a little box where you're gonna keep getting my money right? And I'll never really get over that hump. Cause you're not gonna push me anywhere. Uncomfortable.

[John Gabris]

Well, it's almost like any relationship, you guys, like, both kind of stop trying hard. And it gets like. Like not any relationship, but a path of a lot of relationships.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[John Gabris]

Where neither of you are trying hard, but you're like, I don't want to give up on this therapy. But like, I eventually just was like, you know, like talking to my therapist and he's like, yeah. I'm like, weight's a bummer. Relationship's a bummer. You know, it's like I'm just saying the same thing every day.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[John Gabris]

And. But you have to. I think you have to. I pre apologize to Addie, but I think you have to change trainers every once. I'll change therapists and change.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Yeah, I'll never. Yeah, I will never change. But here's what I love about her is, is like we're on Zoom and. Or FaceTime, so. And it's like every day I have a hard time getting out of the house to work out, but if it's in my home, so. And I will say, even when I'm chatty, I do still see results. Well, that's if I can commit to it.

[John Gabris]

If it works, it works. Like, you know what I mean?

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

If there's a therapy thing that I agree with, you kind of get into

[John Gabris]

patterns with a therapist that you get into in a relationship where you're just like saying the same shit all the time.

[Adam Pally]

I find that. I find that with. And I do find it with trainers as well. Feel like there's maybe other. But it's. But it is also like part of my own paranoia possibly I feel also. Or like my own guardedness about any of it or fear of improvement as well, where it's like, what happens next? Like what. There is a fear of success as well. And so you're like, well, what happens if I do get fixed and what happens if I do get jacked? And what you know, you know, my.

[John Gabris]

My fear with all that is, will I still be funny? Like, that's so embarrassing. Where I'm like, what is if I get mentally. What if I get self actualized and in shape? Will people. Will people think I'm funny still? And that's like, I'm like, this is the thing I'm dealing with now is like, do I want to live longer or be fat funny guy? Like, it's crazy. It's like hard not to think like that. But it turns out I could lose £40 and still be the Fattest guy. Like, I always use you on Happy Endings as an example. It's like you were my Mike, one of my most handsome, like, stylish, in shape friends, and you were the fat guy on that show.

[Adam Pally]

To be fair, we hung out under a supermarket.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Yeah.

[John Gabris]

You're a king of a tiny kingdom. It's a world's tallest little person. You're the hottest guy at ucb. Yeah, I'm the strongest guy, the best athlete.

[Adam Pally]

I mean, yeah. I mean, as soon as I came up from that place, people were like, vampire. I didn't have.

[John Gabris]

I didn't have much hotter friends in the Long island community either. So, yeah, you were my hunky friend. And then you get on a sitcom and you're. And they're like, hey, it's dumpy fat guy.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah. Wow.

[John Gabris]

That was bode well for me.

[Adam Pally]

That was one of those things too. That was like a shock to my own ego as well when that first joke hit the writers room. Because, like.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Wait, what was the joke?

[Adam Pally]

The joke was rewritten on the pilot. It was like it was supposed. It was some. Some joke or Damon improvised it, actually. But the joke was. I say something like, I don't know if this guy's like, right for. For whatever. And. And he goes, why? Because you're chubby and gay. And then my response is, chubby, which is the character.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Adam Pally]

Like the intro to the character.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Right.

[Adam Pally]

And when they like rewrote it and did on the set, I was like, couldn't find why that's funny. Right? And I was like, but I'm not. But like, yeah, but I was like, but I'm like, yeah, but who are they talking about?

[John Gabris]

Damon and Knighton are pretty shredded dudes.

[Adam Pally]

Exactly. But in my head, I like couldn't process. I was like, like, you're saying before. I was like, I just don't think it's going to read.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

And David's like, no, no, it'll read.

[John Gabris]

Just. Just know you had 10 fat friends watching you going like, okay, well, I hope, I hope I get to play Jabba the Hutt's son someday. Yeah. No, that goes to Jeremy Allen White. Okay. Okay. I think that's called Fat face and it's against the law.

[Adam Pally]

I just saw like a thing on the thing. It was when I checked in the hotel of Jon Favreau doing like a press talk about casting Jeremy Allen White as Jabba the Hutt. And it was like such bullshit. Like, it was just spew. He was like. When I first saw him as a Bear.

[John Gabris]

He's like, oh, he's a chef.

[Adam Pally]

You know, he's a chef. And I was like, oh, a Jabba eats. You know, there's like two things that just, like, went together. And you're like, oh, my God. God, this guy's selling a chef.

[John Gabris]

I play a chef.

[Adam Pally]

I play a chef. There's only chef is a chef. And I was like.

[John Gabris]

And then I can't think of the movie Chef without saying Jon Favreau wrote and directed a movie where he cheats on Sophia Verro with Scarlet Johansson.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

He wrote and.

[John Gabris]

He wrote and directed it. And you're like.

[Adam Pally]

With sex scenes with both. No sex scenes with both.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Oh, my God.

[John Gabris]

Brett Goldstein just wrote a movie where he is dating jlo.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Yeah.

[John Gabris]

And I'm like, man, I gotta get successful in Hollywood. It's like, I'll just be.

[Adam Pally]

End up literally.

[John Gabris]

Gabriel cartoon.

[Adam Pally]

Every show I pitch, they Google Danielle and they're like, who looks like your wife? I'm like, what?

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

That's so weird.

[Adam Pally]

It's so weird. They're like, who?

[John Gabris]

We think outside the box.

[Adam Pally]

I'm like, can we think outside the box? Like, maybe, like, I don't know. It be cool. Like, wouldn't it be funny if it was like, I don't know.

[John Gabris]

Pick any smoke show.

[Adam Pally]

You need a.

[John Gabris]

You can't actually say.

[Adam Pally]

I can't say anything.

[John Gabris]

Say anyone. Right here. This is the clip that gets you.

[Adam Pally]

It's like.

[John Gabris]

I don't know.

[Adam Pally]

It's like.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

It's like for Daniella.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah. It's like fantasy. They're like, oh, you know, it would be funny if there was an actress that looks Reese Witherspoon but Jewish. And you're like, you mean my real wife? My literal. The face I look up every morning

[John Gabris]

and night like, reese won't play a Jew anymore. Like, what?

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, well, she said after the drunk driving thing, no more bad press.

[John Gabris]

Bad press. Playing a Jewish person is bad press as well.

[Adam Pally]

It is.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

It is.

[Adam Pally]

You feel that 100%. I feel it, people.

[John Gabris]

Hollywood. No, I'm. I'm down. I'm down. The. Well, the Italian Jewish Alliance.

[Adam Pally]

You would not play a Jew playing a Jew.

[John Gabris]

How curly my beard is. I could do it.

[Adam Pally]

No, you would get cast.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Yeah, you could.

[Adam Pally]

You wouldn't do it. Playing a Jew right now is like playing a Jew right now.

[John Gabris]

I think you. I think you're debating. I think you're underestimating how desperate I am to make SAG health insurance this year.

[Adam Pally]

Maybe you're underestimating.

[John Gabris]

I'll play black again. Again. Sorry. Don't Google.

[Adam Pally]

I'm just saying, playing a Jew right now is like being brave for an actor.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

Like, it's like Fassbender doing a Nazi character.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

It's being brave.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Yeah. I agree.

[Adam Pally]

You know, like, I heard they changed Zach Braff's religion on Scrubs.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

What?

[John Gabris]

Trying to get that Zach Braff buzz on the podcast. Constantly.

[Adam Pally]

I keep shooting. I'm trying to get Zach Braff.

[John Gabris]

Found out that Gabe, Jenny and Max's podcast had a viral clip because they mentioned Zach Braff. Like, he's hitting like every controversial.

[Adam Pally]

Every controversial talk. Like, you know, it did that. Hoping that he responds by being like, I did not do that.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Because he responded to their.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah. And that made it. And they didn't even.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

About an AI.

[John Gabris]

Yeah. And they didn't mention his name or anything like that. So he just.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Oh, no.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[John Gabris]

He just screenshotted it. Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

So I'm going one step further by mentioning his name.

[John Gabris]

Yeah. So what's your relationship with food? That was like, so jiminy glick of me.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Oh, man.

[Adam Pally]

The diet. What are you eating?

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Oh, my God.

[Adam Pally]

Because you're pretty restrictive.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Very restrictive.

[Adam Pally]

You are. Our dinners are calculated. Well, I never go full out with you.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

You don't?

[Adam Pally]

No. I know. Isn't that sad that that's me not going full out?

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Oh, that's you not going full out.

[Adam Pally]

Because I just. It's like. Because. I know.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

But I want you to go full.

[Adam Pally]

I know.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Because I actually live vicariously through that.

[Adam Pally]

I know. But I never do it because you also are. You're like. I'm like, oh, that's. That's. That's. That's what you should be doing.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

No.

[Adam Pally]

You know, so you're like. It's like. It's like we both meet in the middle.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

We do. We do.

[John Gabris]

Yeah.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

That's kind of our relationship.

[Adam Pally]

Truly.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

I have been gluten free, dairy free for so long. Mostly just because I hate the service industry.

[John Gabris]

Because I like to say that to servers.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Because I like to.

[John Gabris]

Is this cooked on the same.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

It's the way that I order it is such. Such a boner killer. Like, it's so hard to go to dinner with me. But I. But I have. I asked so many. I have so many questions.

[Adam Pally]

It's not.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

I gotta know. Because I'm also like. Then I slip in. But I also don't really do nuts or seeds. You know what I mean?

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, you do.

[John Gabris]

And I'm Maha.

[Adam Pally]

You do this thing. Yeah. You do this thing. Opposite from other people in my Life who have multiple things where you kind of slope. Bury the lead.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

I do.

[Adam Pally]

And you kind of let them figure it out. You let the waiter figure out how nuts you are. So you're kind of like. You're very.

[John Gabris]

He's like, so filtered water.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, exactly. Like, it starts off very, like, bottle or tap. And you're like.

[John Gabris]

And he's like, all right. He writes down. He writes on the menu. Oh, we have one an up ass bitch.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, it's very, you know, like, zo.

[John Gabris]

That's the only time you're not a down ass bitch is in a restaurant.

[Adam Pally]

There are. There are times I'll be like, you want to go to this restaurant? And her reply be like, I can't go there anymore.

[John Gabris]

Oh, that's awesome.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

I have alienated too many people there.

[Adam Pally]

Italian restaurant in the hills will not.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Oh, no, they won't.

[Adam Pally]

They won't see you anym.

[John Gabris]

They will not. Because I don't do dairy or gluten in an Italian restaurant.

[Adam Pally]

Is that.

[John Gabris]

You're like, bowl of marinara.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

That's not. That's her spot. That's not the worst person.

[Adam Pally]

She would be like, come meet me. A spot.

[John Gabris]

I can't have tomatoes, gluten, cheese, or.

[Adam Pally]

There she's sitting in a corner like a fedora, wig step. Absolutely.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

I got glasses. Because now it's gotten to the point where I'm like. I go through the whole list, and they're like, okay. And they're about to walk away, and I'm like, oh, and also, no black pepper. And they're like, oh. Oh, my God. Like, it's gotten to the point where no black pepper.

[Adam Pally]

They're like, arrested. No one's allergic.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Arrest.

[Adam Pally]

Everyone sneezes from black pepper lady. Everybody.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

It's too much.

[John Gabris]

Black pepper is too much.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

It's too much.

[John Gabris]

Holy. We're getting roasted by non white people right now. 100% white people going, like, black pepper could be intense. Mexican people are like, for real.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

Verdot. It's wild how little seasoning Zoe needs.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

I need. But I love a sea salt. I love a sea salt. I'm malding all the way. And that's part of my lasers system too. But it's. No, I'm terrible. But I've.

[John Gabris]

Can you run my eggplant parm through a laser before I eat it? I'm sorry, miss.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

That would be good, actually.

[John Gabris]

Has this been lasered? Is this farm raised and lasered and no pepper.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

No pepper lately, though. I will say this also makes me the worst. So when I Go to Europe. I do fuck with gluten and dairy because I can.

[Adam Pally]

And you feel okay.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

And I feel okay. And so here, hear your boy. Funky. Yeah, I go there.

[Adam Pally]

Funky's.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

But funky's a ledge and I eat pasta. So we could go to Funky and actually go to Town.

[Adam Pally]

I would love to do that.

[John Gabris]

You can go to Funky Town.

[Adam Pally]

We can go to Funky Town. Why hasn't he called his restaurant now? What is he doing?

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Should we tag it?

[Adam Pally]

Just like, look, I know. He's like, napa Valley. Funky Town.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Funky Town is sick.

[John Gabris]

It's a song. It rips, man.

[Adam Pally]

Can you imagine Michelin, like, being, like, funky and the number one restaurant in Los Angeles? Funky Town.

[John Gabris]

It's impossible to get a reservation at Funky Town.

[Adam Pally]

And don't think about dancing. This is Evan. Funky. But his pasta will get you moving. That's. That's interesting. I had that recently in New Zealand because I didn't eat. I wanted to eat, like, bread. I wasn't, like, purposely not eating bread or anything, but it was just not, like, good. Like, is, like, bad.

[John Gabris]

Taste it bad.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Yeah, yeah.

[Adam Pally]

And like, the other foods, like the comfort foods in New Zealand, which I could see myself eating, like, meat pies and stuff, I could see myself eating that, but it just. I'd have one and I'd be like, wasn't that good? It was not good. It's not like pizza, where you're like, no matter time of day, I'll have pizza.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Yes.

[Adam Pally]

It's not like that. And then I've lost a ton of weight because you're in. You're not eating bad food. Bad because you. Bad food. But when I would go to, like, Italy, I never lost any weight.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

But did you gain weight in Italy? Because I feel like it's actually like. It's sort of like there's some. There's some. Something that happens there. Maybe you're walking a lot.

[Adam Pally]

Walking a lot. I. I definitely didn't lose weight.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Okay.

[Adam Pally]

Like, I definitely wasn't one of those people who was like. They were just like, oh, yeah, you can eat anything here. Like, I definitely got back on the plane and was like.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

But when I go to Italy, I'm like, I'll have the cheesecake for breakfast. Because I'm so. I'm in, like, such scarcity mindset from here. That there. I'm like, it's really.

[John Gabris]

I thought this is not a bad attitude to have in life, because that's the one thing where I can't.

[Adam Pally]

It's working.

[John Gabris]

I can't.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, obviously yeah, obviously.

[John Gabris]

You don't seem like a pasta addict.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah. Your life seems to be in okay shape.

[John Gabris]

But do you, what do you, what do you do? Do you cook at all or make anything for yourself at home? Do you have like. Cuz because of your specific lane of food, do you have like a. This is just a go to thing that's always in my fridge that I could eat like, you know, because that's kind of where I'm at a lot in life is where I'm like, I need like home hacks too because I'll end up just being like. If I can prevent myself from ordering. That eliminates like the potential for six to seven more bad decisions.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Like hard boiled eggs in the fridge. A lot of protein in the fridge. I get like pre packed chicken breasts and then they're already done.

[Adam Pally]

Hell yeah.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

And then I just throw them on lettuce. And then you're just kind of like.

[John Gabris]

That's like pretty much what I eat. I air fry, I marinate and air fry my own chicken thighs. Then throw them on top of like three salads in a row and try to get those, get all three of those big salads in. In a week in. I was like in a day at three huge salads a day.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Yeah.

[John Gabris]

A lot of roughage, dog. I need it. I'm eating like a, a tray of greens a week.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Right? Because with the GLP1.

[John Gabris]

Yeah, yeah. I'm trying not to, I'm trying to do it right. Unlike my mother. Shout out Joanne, who's like, I'm not losing any weight on wegovi. I'm like, are you walking? She's like, no. And the doctor says I got to eat protein, but I'm not doing that. Or fiber. I'm like, well mom, if you're not doing any, I don't know.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

God.

[John Gabris]

Yeah, that was. I usually ask her that when we get on the phone.

[Adam Pally]

That's why I'm interested.

[John Gabris]

Hi Joanne, it's Jonathan. Just want wondering how are your bms?

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Yeah.

[John Gabris]

And this is what you'll say, shave the gray out of your beard. All my mom will just say like that she has like three things. I wish you would stop smoking weed when you got to trim your beard, get rid of those grays. You look so much better without it. Not. And then she'll try to use compliments. She's like, well now that you lost that weight, you got to show your beautiful face. And I'm like, that's not happening. I've had a beard for now longer than I Haven't at this point in

[Adam Pally]

my life because of that 44.

[John Gabris]

I've had it since I was 20. I'm like, Joanne, it's not going anywhere.

[Adam Pally]

And because of that, you'd think she'd know how beards that if you shaved the gray out, you would have no beard dog.

[John Gabris]

I fucking.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Or you could do something interesting where just the middle gone. And then you have sort of.

[Adam Pally]

I definitely wouldn't look like a beard. It would definitely look different.

[John Gabris]

I look like Nick Offerman in a period. Perfect.

[Adam Pally]

I love the mutton shot.

[John Gabris]

Finally we can see a little dimple chin like John Travolta. I have one of those little butt chin things. No one knows that.

[Adam Pally]

That's awesome.

[John Gabris]

I did mushrooms at the beach alone during a midlife crisis earlier this in the summer. And I had this moment where I'm like, the sun's never touched my cheeks. So I and like, shaved my face down to a mustache. Remember this phase? And then I. Every time I looked at myself in the mirror, it would be like a legit jump scare. Like, I'd be like, whoa. Oh, fuck. I actually look like that. And I felt like I looked like the Pringles guy or whichever one of the fat guys is Laurel and Hardy. I think Laurel. No, Hardy probably makes. Not Tom Hardy, but the fucking dumpy Hardy. And I just was like, oh, I can't do this again. And I like, was like, you know, meditating on beard growth. Like, trying to pop biotin. Get the beard back asap.

[Adam Pally]

Well, it's definitely there.

[John Gabris]

It's. Yeah, it's getting. It's crazy long now. Now I. I haven't touched it.

[Adam Pally]

I'm finding a facial hair thing recently where I. My facial hair grows so high into my face. I'm like the. Do you remember that story that was like, I'm the wolf boy from.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

That's right.

[Adam Pally]

From that village that they found that came out and he has. His beard was on his forehead. Like, I, I. My facial hair was so high and so low that there's no definition of where my neck is.

[John Gabris]

You're like the level of Harry that, that you're gonna. It all connects eventually.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[John Gabris]

You know what I mean? It'll connect up to your brows and then into your forehead.

[Adam Pally]

I'll just become like a one big right forearm of Robin Williams.

[John Gabris]

Yeah, you'll have to get like, definition shaved back into your face. Like, you'll get on set and they'll be like, hair and makeup will like buzz your forehead.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Oh, my God.

[John Gabris]

Shave under your eyes.

[Adam Pally]

I Mean, but. But I. I feel that, like, because I have dimples here, but I don't ever see them because my facial hair grows so fucking high.

[John Gabris]

Yeah. My shit.

[Adam Pally]

And then when I go to, like, a place to make a beard, it looks like I have, like, half a face. Cause then I have, like, this, like, very stark line.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

You know what I mean? Yeah. The line's too stark.

[Adam Pally]

And it looks really like.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

It's almost like drag makeup. You're like, contrast.

[John Gabris]

That happens to me, too. Every time I get someone else to do my beard, like, hair and makeup or at a barbershop. I look like I'm trying something crazy. I look like I'm a demonic Dominican guy or something like that. You know, where it's like, super lined up and I'm like, nothing in my life is this neat. I cannot have, like, the perfect lip line on my. I look crazy.

[Adam Pally]

I know. I'm thinking of having it laser off.

[John Gabris]

Does anyone know a laser guy?

[Adam Pally]

Do you know a guy?

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Yeah, of course I do.

[John Gabris]

And Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual, even if

[Adam Pally]

it means sitting front row at a comedy show.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Hey, everyone. Check out this guy and his bird. What is this, your first date?

[Adam Pally]

Oh, no.

[John Gabris]

We help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual together.

[Adam Pally]

We're married. Me to a human, him to a bird.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Yeah, the bird looks out of your league.

[John Gabris]

Anyways, get a [e-mail] or with your local agent. Liberty, Liberty.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Liberty, Liberty.

[John Gabris]

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[Zoe Lister-Jones]

I asked my H vac guy I found on angie.com to change my grandpa's trachea tube? Because I was so amazed by how quickly he replaced our air ducts. I knew I could trust him to change Pop Pop's tube while I was on vacation.

[John Gabris]

Make it quick, young man.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Aw.

[John Gabris]

See?

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Pop up trusts you.

[Adam Pally]

I think we should call a doctor.

[John Gabris]

Connecting homeowners with skilled Pros for over 30 years, Angie, the one you trust to find the ones you trust. Find pros for all your home [e-mail].

[Adam Pally]

Are you in LA now? Are you around where you are? Is the. Have you been, like, all over?

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

I was just in New York doing press. I did watch what Happens Live, which I know you've done, and I, of course, I had to talk about the housewives.

[Adam Pally]

Did you like it? Is it fun?

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Yeah, I had so much fun.

[Adam Pally]

Gabriel was a bartender.

[John Gabris]

I only did it once, and Andy hated me. Did he hate. Well, I don't know if he hated me, but I was playing, like, Merv Jonas, like, a fourth Jonas brother in, like, a little tiny shirt. And they had me bartending for. Because one of the Jonas Brothers was there. That was the premise. And I think every time I was funny, Andy hated me.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, right?

[John Gabris]

And I don't share focus. Well.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, I could believe that.

[John Gabris]

Yeah, I could believe that is my lifelong collaborator.

[Adam Pally]

I could believe that. Being hard for Andy.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Yeah, I loved him. No. Yeah. I go back to New York and I. I visit my mama, but I'm here, and I am like, the light is so beautiful. I commented all. I commented all the time. And my partner's always like, all right. I'm always like, look at the light.

[Adam Pally]

Are they from New York?

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

No, from here.

[Adam Pally]

Oh. So, yeah, so they're the.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

They're like.

[John Gabris]

Of course, the sky will be, like, straight up at, like, It'll be like 6:05pm and the sky is cotton candy. It's like blue and pink swirls. And you're like, what the fuck? I'm at this. It's like, you get why I wore Hobie and Ocean Pacific shirts and growing. This is like the PAC Sun Life I drew. It's literally the Pacific sunwear.

[Adam Pally]

But it is interesting that, like, like, your partner who's from here, doesn't feel that way. And. And, like, the massive beauty of New York.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

I can't.

[Adam Pally]

You don't feel that way?

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

No, I can see it now. Like, when I. When I go back, I so appreciate it, but I definitely feel like the assault on the senses differently. It's like once you leave, then coming back, you're like, whoa, how did I do this all the time, every day? And if I moved back, I Would just get back.

[John Gabris]

You get down to it easily, especially

[Adam Pally]

if you had a job that was 100%.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

And I'd move there for a job in a minute, of course. But I move anywhere.

[Adam Pally]

Anywhere that's given for all of us.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Anybody.

[John Gabris]

I'd love to stay here and get a job, but I have a warrant

[Adam Pally]

out for my arrest in Austin, and I'd be there in a second.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Yeah, I'd get a job at that Italian restaurant.

[Adam Pally]

Oh, yeah.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

You know, they won't happen. Have me, but.

[John Gabris]

Oh, sorry. My manager is based in Funky Town, so I could get. I could get some jobs over there.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Incredible tax credits.

[John Gabris]

Yeah, yeah. They're shooting a lot in Funky Town. I think it's because there's, like, you know, they have no, like, real regulations on.

[Adam Pally]

You got a tubular tax credit.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

But I do. I mean, I love New York. I just. And I've got all my healers. I've got my healers on both coasts, so that's really helpful for me. And when I was just there, I was like, I got my colonists there, got my acupuncturist there.

[John Gabris]

I want to fuck with a colonic. Can we talk? Can we take a minute to talk, colonic? Because I'm very curious about this, because there's, like, two people. Some people think they're not good for you. Some people. Some people swear by them. And I've been dealing with GI issues my entire life, and I'm just so curious. Yeah, talk us through it a little bit. Or, like, what. What. What. What you feel or how it goes or why you can't get enough.

[Adam Pally]

Why you can't get.

[John Gabris]

I can't get enough of these. If you have. I'm so sorry.

[Adam Pally]

It's definitely something you can get enough

[John Gabris]

of if you have colonosis on both. You sound like someone who might get enough of.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

So I went to this doctor in the Valley, and I do really trust him. And after looking at, like, my blood work, he was like, you're toxic. I was like, but which part of me.

[Adam Pally]

Your personality?

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Like, my personality?

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, I know that.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

I was like, well, I have been told that. And he was like, you need to go get a colonic. Because I had had so many GI issues, I had been on a lot of antibiotics, and that stuff builds up in your system.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

And it's actually really hard to get rid of. So he was like, go do this to, like, get rid of all of the toxins that have built up over all of the years. And I will say I went and I did it. And like, my skin cleared up. And so there are all these other things that were happening that weren't just GI related. And then I kind of became addicted because.

[Adam Pally]

Well, you feel good.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

You feel good, good. And you know, like, after flying or whatever. Also people on GLP1s. I think it's helpful. I don't know, but my colonosis talks about it to me and she's like, I have a lot of people on GLP1s coming. You should.

[John Gabris]

If you refer to me, your colonises, you're going to get like a mega bonus. They're going to be like, holy, we got a cash cow here. Well, we literally got a cash cow pulled out of. No, we got the cash of a cow. KX C A C A G.

[Adam Pally]

That's. Do you. Do you feel. I've never had one. Obviously there have been times where I'm like, I'm gonna get a colonic.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

Does it. Is it instant relief?

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Like, not at first. Like, if you're really up.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Then, like, it can also. You can be like in pain afterwards and then. But they recommend doing like a series of.

[Adam Pally]

Oh, so it's back to the therapy thing. 6.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Of course.

[John Gabris]

Of course.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

They basically do laser up your ass.

[John Gabris]

Also, you do need to do this more frequently and weirdly enough, that costs you money and makes me money coincidental.

[Adam Pally]

Always the negotiation of anything self helpful. But so they. So they say start small and then build, right?

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Yeah. No, no, they say start small, big and go. And then bring it down.

[Adam Pally]

Wow.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Yes.

[Adam Pally]

They blow it up.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

They want to clean it. They're trying to. They're trying to get through the colon with water.

[Adam Pally]

Wow. And is it. Is it. Does it feel good?

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

No, no. But I have taken a work call on the table and it was.

[John Gabris]

What?

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

It was a notes call.

[Adam Pally]

I was going to say. That's the. That's the only work call I think works while you're getting a colonic out in there.

[John Gabris]

It is.

[Adam Pally]

I cannot imagine.

[John Gabris]

Oh, my God. Getting to say, sorry, I'm on the colonic table. Can I give you a call back? And a work call is so awesome that that's. Like, this would be in. Be edited out of Entourage for being too unrealistic, too broad.

[Adam Pally]

So we have Ari for you on the phone.

[John Gabris]

Put him through.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Can you, like such a bad notes call too. And I was so upset, but. And Michael, Michael, honest is just so used to it because, you know, because

[Adam Pally]

you're always crying on the table. I'm sorry, Zoe, are you upset? Am I doing. Is the colonic too forceful or were the notes too harsh?

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Were harsh. It was really intense. But I, you know, I've.

[John Gabris]

Can you like leave that day or do you have to like hang out for a couple hours while. Because I don't. I'm. I really don't understand biologically what's going on. Like once you hit the colonic, you're like, you're safe to go home but like get home fast and be near a toilet. Or is it like.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

No, you like you go to the toilet right after.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

And then you probably want to be near a toilet. Depending on me.

[John Gabris]

I'm never too far from a toilet. Just.

[Adam Pally]

You have your backpack with you. He doesn't want to. Your backpack.

[John Gabris]

I carry a camping toilet. I drive a Subaru and carry a camping toilet. But I've never scammed. I just have GI issues. The only way like to engage with lesbians on the street.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Same.

[John Gabris]

Don't we all.

[Adam Pally]

I told you you two are very much alike.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Very similar.

[John Gabris]

Down ass.

[Adam Pally]

Down ass with GI issues.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Love my sp.

[Adam Pally]

Except waiters love gamers. Yeah.

[John Gabris]

They see going in they're like start rubbing their hands. We're both doing the same thing but I'm doing it about the menu and they're doing it about the. They're like 20% of whatever this guy orders is going to eat bananas.

[Adam Pally]

I would pay money to see the look on the wait staff's face of Pache on Laurel Canyon. If you two walked in together they would know what to do. He like boys, we're going to be running around in night

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

completely. But I think that that would be help. I think Gabris would help me.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah. Oh you like I'll be like nudging

[John Gabris]

meatballs with my nose over to you like waiting in the tr.

[Adam Pally]

Because you are the. The. That's the other side of you is that you're a down ass. So like you also like you're very good at being like in this moment right now, all my regimented stuff is whatever. Because I'm down.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

And that's.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

I do like to put it away.

[Adam Pally]

I think that's the key to. To being happy maybe 100% is that you do put that away. You're not defined by the boxes that you put yourself in.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

No. Cause I think that so many health issues stem from anxiety and if you're too regimented then you're just fucked up all the time mentally. And I will say my partner has been helpful and I've. Cause also when you feel good about yourself, it's Helpful.

[Adam Pally]

Yes.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

To allow.

[John Gabris]

That really takes a long time to learn. Learn. It's so.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Oh, no.

[John Gabris]

It's crazy.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

It's crazy. The self love train is like. It's a slow.

[Adam Pally]

It's a local.

[John Gabris]

I had.

[Adam Pally]

I had a slow local.

[John Gabris]

My therapist just straight up said to me, he's like, have you ever said anything nice about yourself? Because I just qualify everything. I'm like, well, yeah, I'm doing this thing, but you know, it's dog. I'll be there. I'll hate it. Everyone will hate me. And they're like. He's like. And he's like, try saying something positive about yourself.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Yeah.

[John Gabris]

I said, I'm a pretty good swimmer. And he's like, man, man, aim higher. And I was like, if I fell

[Adam Pally]

off the boat, I might not die right away. How about that?

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

He's like.

[John Gabris]

He's like. He's like, you're funny, right? Do you think you're funny? I'm like, yeah, I think I'm really funny. He's like, well. But I'm like, there's. He's like, stop saying but I'm like, oh, my God, it is crazy.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Yeah.

[John Gabris]

And now I'll find myself. This is embarrassing to admit. Toxic masculinity is really in my way here. But I'll like look in the mirror and go, fucking, hey, man, look at you. And that's like something I started doing. And I do feel it makes me. Me giddy to say a compliment to myself. Which is crazy because I just. I mean, I never got them growing up or, you know, so it's just like now I'll just like look in the mirror and be like, hell, dude, your hair is actually looking pretty.

[Adam Pally]

That's great that you could. That you can do that for yourself.

[John Gabris]

And it's great. And it. It's crazy how a compliment from someone else feels great. A compliment from yourself feels equally great. You fake it. It's like, it's like jerking off. It's like almost as good.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

But I think that is the antidote to toxic masc masculinity. Not jerking off, but like giving yourself complimen. Because like the toxicity is just like a fragile ego with no self love. It's insecurity.

[John Gabris]

Right?

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

So if you're actually giving yourself that, then you probably won't hate when I'm

[John Gabris]

butting up against what I thought being masculine was like constantly in my life. And I'm like, oh, this doesn't also. What has it done for me? It's done zero.

[Adam Pally]

Our whole Generation is, is probably in a similar boat of like having to question what positive masculinity looks like. Because we've all been brought up in this way where, where it's like there's really only one way to be masculine, which is like this unmoving rock strength.

[John Gabris]

You know that like, like cowboy, soldier, cowboy.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, cowboys, yeah. Like that's masculinity and then. But when you look under that and there's been like so much of it, it's like most of that is fear and like, you know, the aimlessness of the universe.

[John Gabris]

Like, it's so funny that like being like visibly angry and stamping around and like shouting is considered masculine. Even though that's a hissy fit. Like, and like that's like masculine behavior is like flipping the chair when you don't get what you're right. But then we watch it on Real Housewives and guys will be like, look at these crazy. It's like that's what we do when we're angry.

[Adam Pally]

Oh, I think the, the, the colonics make you like.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

I do like the colon snatched after. I can feel snatched after. And I really like the hyperbaric chamber, which is also at my colonisist office.

[Adam Pally]

So this is like a former guest of the pod.

[John Gabris]

Ryan Stanger is a big.

[Adam Pally]

We've got a couple hyperbolic.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

They are hyperbolic.

[Adam Pally]

Cuz every time I talk to you, you're like, this is the best.

[John Gabris]

I know, totally.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

No, that I really love. And then she also has this thing there, which I don't know if it's real, but I'll believe it. Which is you put your feet in a, like a tub of water. You know about this. And then they put some sort of like ionic thing. It's like almost looks like a battery in there. They put some salt and it starts clear and then by the end it's like mud. Like something is coming out of your feet

[John Gabris]

that's also like David Copperfield level or like David Blaine type of. It's like, put your feet in here, we'll make it turn brown and go like this all came out of your feet and you're like, well, do you want to come back? We're going to keep getting it out of you. But that could just be. They're adding brown. Like whatever the battery is is doing that too maybe.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

But I love it.

[John Gabris]

But if it makes you feel good

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

and it feels like, yeah.

[John Gabris]

Are you doing red light stuff? You got a solo wave at home?

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

I got a, I got a H dose red light mat that I I actually work out in front of it. I don't know if it's working.

[Adam Pally]

You got to get. When we did a television show, we got each other rap gifts and Gabris got me a infrared sauna.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

That's what I want. Oh, I've seen in your house.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, in my basement.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Do you go in and out every day? You do. And it makes a difference.

[Adam Pally]

Again, it may be placebo. It may, it may be like, whatever. But I'll, I'll go downstairs and has a 90 minute timer. So I'll, I'll, I'll set it for 90, 90 minutes. And it usually heats up to max in like 60. So I'll set it. I'll like turn it on. Workout.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

Like picking a 60 minute workout from like either the peloton or the weight thing I have.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

And then when that's done, it'll be 30 minutes left. 30 minutes left. And I'll do it. And it's like part of my thing.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

That's so good.

[John Gabris]

I love it.

[Adam Pally]

It feels good. There's something about it. And again, it could just be that I'm in a hot little space.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

I don't think it's placebo.

[John Gabris]

No, I think I believe it. I think there's object objectively benefits to sweating. Right. Like, you feel better after you sweat. Like, it's good for you. I do. I also think that there's been research done that doing a sauna at the end of your workout could simulate to your cardiovascular system and your cns, your central nervous system, that you are still exercising because you're still in a state of stress. So you can kind of extend some of the benefits of the exercise. What is what they say? And I, I do 45 minutes infrared after my workout pretty frequently. And then follow that with like a quick five minute and like super cold plunge and then get out of there for the day.

[Adam Pally]

I can't do it.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

I can't do a cold.

[Adam Pally]

I've tried every which way. It's like, I just can't do it. I, I can do it for like two seconds.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

And then I start to like, panic.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

Because like, my heart starts racing. I don't want to die in here.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Yeah, I know.

[Adam Pally]

I don't want to die in a cold plunge.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

This is not how you stay alive.

[Adam Pally]

No, no.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

This is how you die.

[Adam Pally]

I'm looking around. People like, getting in. I'm like, they're like, don't. I'm like, no.

[John Gabris]

People say like, I'm built different as like, but I'm Literally built different than you. I'm a large person.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

You swim in cold bodies of water?

[John Gabris]

I' always in the water. Yeah, that's like one of my life rules. If I see a body of water I've never been in before, I get in it.

[Adam Pally]

You got to stop doing it with fountains.

[John Gabris]

They count.

[Adam Pally]

No, they don't count. They don't count. It's hard to be with you.

[John Gabris]

My mom one time on a family vacation, we were at an all inclusive and my mom said she heard this huge commotion, she wanted to go see what it was. There was like a huge group of people standing around the central fountain. And what it was was me and my brothers absolutely wasted. It was like 2 in the afternoon, belly flopping into like the center fountain in this Bahamas hot was surrounded by people going like belly flop, belly flop. My brother who was like 16 at the time, Hammer just fucking sailing in there. It was so awesome. And my mom telling the story like, she's like, what's the commotion? She like pushes through and just sees her three sons going air practice.

[Adam Pally]

Oh yeah, I had, my brother in law had a story like that. Where he was, he was abroad and he had a friend doing his semester. He was abroad in like Australia or something. He had a friend doing it in Hong Kong. So he went to Hong Kong to see him and he had saved up all his money from like a nice Hong Kong hotel, like a really nice hotel. And so he got this like big room, but he took like a Xanax or something to get from the plane. And he got off the plane, Hong Kong and they like picked him up and he checked in. He was like doing everything. He was like, great, and where's the pool? And like didn't listen to what they said or understand it. So he got, he got into his bathrobe and his bathing suit and his slippers and walked downstairs to the middle of the lobby. Hell yeah, I took his bathing.

[John Gabris]

No. No.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah. And he's the former DA of Brooklyn. No. Yes. He was just like. I just didn't know. It looked like, he's like, it looked like a pool.

[John Gabris]

Oh, that's awesome.

[Adam Pally]

Took his thing off and just like dropped it and then got in and was like, this is shallow.

[John Gabris]

Wow, so many coins in there.

[Adam Pally]

Kind of shallow. You say he walked over to the

[John Gabris]

water feature, was like a, like that's so security.

[Adam Pally]

Like ran at him, pulled him out. He like threw him in a small room and they were yelling at him. They brought an interpreter in and he was like, I thought it was the Pool.

[John Gabris]

That's so funny. That's just like such a funny, like trashy American. They think, they think they're the, they can do whatever they want, wherever they want. Yeah, it's so funny.

[Adam Pally]

Also my, my brother in law is like sweet. It's so sweet and funny, but like a little dorky.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

So I can imagine, Imagine his hotel pool rig being quite official. You know what I mean? Like him getting down there with like goggles.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

He's got goggles. Yeah, yeah, he's got the swim cap.

[Adam Pally]

Exactly.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

And like that's so insane.

[John Gabris]

A book and everything.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

And he's just like posting arrested in a swim cap. So dark.

[John Gabris]

It's like an improv everywhere bit. Truly.

[Adam Pally]

I was like, he was like, it was, he's like, you gotta see this fountain.

[John Gabris]

Nearly a pound paralyzed. Going off the diving board.

[Adam Pally]

Imagine you like jumped in like the

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

concierge standing up on it.

[John Gabris]

Swimmers, take your mark.

[Adam Pally]

Someone next was like, do you know where I can get a good meal?

[John Gabris]

Like dripping. Awesome. That's awesome.

[Adam Pally]

So where to next? What's. So are you gonna.

[John Gabris]

Before we ask once, I have one more health question.

[Adam Pally]

Oh yeah.

[John Gabris]

Is there anything that's out, out there in the new agey sort of alternate health thing that you want to do or you want to try that you haven't done yet? You're like, that you're curious about?

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

I would say that like the laser shit is kind of the crate. The craziest shit.

[John Gabris]

Yeah.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

They take your blood out.

[John Gabris]

I'm hard pressed to see what's crazier than like shooting lasers at my blood?

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[John Gabris]

Shooting lasers at sounds like a Neil

[Adam Pally]

Young song from like a Blade Runner soundtrack.

[John Gabris]

They're shooting lasers at my blood.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

I feel very good after. It's a high recommend if you can find a laser to put in your blood.

[Adam Pally]

I'm sure it's prohibitively expensive.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

No, it's not crazy.

[John Gabris]

They take my blood out, put it through the centrifuge and it's like gravy.

[Adam Pally]

Really?

[John Gabris]

Like what the.

[Adam Pally]

No, you, you could get it done at the guy behind the car wash.

[John Gabris]

Sir, your blood type is al pastor.

[Adam Pally]

You got a laugh from that.

[John Gabris]

You got the, the Brett's deep. He's got the Butthead

[Adam Pally]

are our editors.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

This room is just on fire.

[John Gabris]

I want to do. We should do laser blood together.

[Adam Pally]

I would do it. I, I, we should get, we should

[John Gabris]

blood laser and get each other's blood.

[Adam Pally]

That's how, that's.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

You should do it specifically what you're

[Adam Pally]

not supposed to do.

[John Gabris]

Blood brothers.

[Adam Pally]

That's not what that means.

[John Gabris]

Blood in, blood out, bro. Come on. Stand to deliver.

[Adam Pally]

All of a sudden. All of a sudden you can play guitar and I can skim a flat.

[John Gabris]

I think I won in that category. I gained guitar ability. You gained mass consumption capabilities,

[Adam Pally]

which I already have. So what's that? Where. What are you gonna do now? What are you, like, are you gonna go back to. Is the. Is the wife one? The tiny wife?

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Miniature wife, Multiples.

[Adam Pally]

Or is it one? Does she get big again?

[John Gabris]

Miniature wife, miniature life. That's an expression. A lot of people say.

[Adam Pally]

Do they learn to. Do we learn to live with her as tiny or just she.

[John Gabris]

No spoiler.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

She does. She does. It's all out. I guess I can say it. She does get big again. And it's not limited. So it could come back.

[Adam Pally]

Okay, cool.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Yeah. And then Slip is also airing on Peacock now, which is like, my baby, baby.

[Adam Pally]

That's so exciting.

[John Gabris]

Wait, can you. For anyone who's watching this or listening to this doesn't know the premise of Slip because it is a fucking awesome premise. So please, please tell the listeners. I mean, like, that's like logline by, like, I'm like, I'm on board.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, yeah.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

It's about a woman who learns that she can teleport to parallel universes through orgasm. So the sort of central. The central set piece of every episode is me coming. And. And. And it's like, also about a woman who's like, you know, feeling trapped in her marriage and then like, fucks a guy and then wakes up the next morning married to him and then is like, wait, what's happening? And then finds herself jumping to all of her different possibilities. Possibilities.

[John Gabris]

Okay, you were right. Women can come. All right, I was wrong. It's more of. That's a. That's more of a me thing. Operator error. User error.

[Adam Pally]

I told you land is amazing.

[John Gabris]

I don't know, dude. I believe that. I believe the. The parallel dimension shit, but women coming. I ain't never seen it.

[Adam Pally]

I've seen it.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

I am a unicorn that way.

[Adam Pally]

Seen it with my own two eyes.

[John Gabris]

Dry land is a myth.

[Adam Pally]

I'm sitting on a raft and drinking my own squirt. My homemade squirt bottle in this water world. It's so awesome that this show

[John Gabris]

casually recover from chugging. Squirt.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Raft. Squirt.

[Adam Pally]

Look. It's the duality of life.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

It is.

[Adam Pally]

But like you. You. To get that show made in the first place is like, crazy unbelievable. And you directed it, wrote it, started everything like you always do. And then on top of that, to get it to like make it have it seen when, like, it's so hard to get it seen by, like, it's awesome. I mean, I've been through that ringer.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

I know you have. It's crazy.

[Adam Pally]

It sucks.

[John Gabris]

Getting another crack at it. Getting it out there.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Oh, my God.

[Adam Pally]

Because now who knows what happens.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Exactly.

[Adam Pally]

You know, and like, I'm sure that there are people that didn't see it the first time that are going to be like, whoa, this is awesome.

[John Gabris]

Objectively, new eyes are going to be on it.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Yes.

[John Gabris]

Rules. There's like, there's like no new work. Like, you know what I mean? Like, oh, there's another. We get another swing at this and like, without having to like go pour your fucking heart into a script and all that. Yeah, like, that's.

[Adam Pally]

That's a dream that's been feeling good that like people are seeing it again. Are you getting like some love off it?

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

I. Well, it just came out today.

[Adam Pally]

Oh, so.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

So I'm like, so it's starting now? But I literally found out it was coming out a week ago. So this very. All very new. And it was such a, like, heartache because it had been removed from the platform it was on previously. And so, like, you know, when, as you know, like when that shit happens,

[John Gabris]

it's like, yeah, 101 places got taken off mask.

[Adam Pally]

It did. A lot of my shows have. I don't think Happy Endings is streaming anywhere right now.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Really.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Yeah. And in those moments you're like, I

[Adam Pally]

just am like, I. I just don't know what. I'm just. I don't know what to tell people at Passover.

[John Gabris]

I don't know what I've been telling girls. Like, oh, yeah, you can find that on HBO Max. And they're like, like, I can't. I'm like, you dumb. Hold on. It's actually not.

[Adam Pally]

It's like I. That's all that, that I really find from it now is that like, it's just much harder to tell people what you do for a living.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Yes.

[Adam Pally]

Even as like, you know, it used to be hard when, when I was an improv teacher.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Right.

[Adam Pally]

And I would be like, oh, I teach like long form improv. People be like, what the fuck is that? And I have to go through it. And now I'm like, oh, I'm a. I'm an actor. And they're like, I've never seen you on what? And you're like, oh, I did this show, Happy Endings. Like, I don't Know what that is?

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Totally.

[Adam Pally]

It's like.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

And you can't.

[Adam Pally]

You can't point them to anything.

[John Gabris]

You don't know what that is. You're not going to know the next four four things.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Exactly. Yeah. And I got help trying to say

[John Gabris]

you're a podcast or anything. You're like, the Uber driver's always like, me, too. And you're like, oh, no. I know, dog. I'm undoing my shift as soon as I get dropped off.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

No, I was, like, sending, like, people. I was, like, on the street corner being like, you want a Dropbox link? Like, I just wanted it to be seen so badly once it got removed. And it was, like, nominated for two Indie Spirit Awards after it was removed. So we were like, at the Independent Spirit Awards, and we're like, couldn't. Everyone on the press line was like, well, we can't.

[Adam Pally]

It's so nice you're here.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

It's so nice you're here. We can't see it. So now, like, a week ago, when I. Well, this is full circle, I was literally on the colonic. I was on the colonic table.

[John Gabris]

You're just rolling calls like, you do.

[Adam Pally]

Zoe.

[John Gabris]

I'll always get the tube in there and get my Bluetooth in.

[Adam Pally]

Zoe, I want to. Zoey, I want you to be honest with me right now.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Yeah. Am I getting too many?

[Adam Pally]

Have you ever talking to me on the clonic table? Are you sure?

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

I might have. I've texted you. On the clonic table.

[Adam Pally]

God damn it. Sure. I'm gonna go through my text and try to find which one is misspelled.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

I was in the. Okay. I wasn't on the table yet, but in the room I was undressing. And I look at my email, and it says, slip is coming to Peacock. And I burst into tears. Naked in the colonic room.

[Adam Pally]

Before the clonic.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Before the clonic.

[Adam Pally]

Man, that. That. That staff must have been like, we'll come back.

[John Gabris]

Yeah.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

But I also was like, I wanted so badly to just leave and celebrate because it was such a huge moment and there was no, like, lead up. Like, it wasn't like, we're taking it out and selling it. It just, like, landed in my inbox and was like, oh, in a week.

[Adam Pally]

Do you think, like, some assistant saw it and was like, this should be on Peacock?

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

I don't know.

[Adam Pally]

Or is it because your other shows.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

It might have. Might be connected to Miniature Wife? I don't know. But. But yeah. And then I. You know, then you get on the table, and she's like, you really, you know, you're really dehydrated. Like, you're just, like, berated. And I was like, you don't understand what's happening in my life, by the way.

[John Gabris]

And now in my head, I can't help but think that after the kalana comes out, they shoot it with lasers and put it right back. They broken back Ghostbusters. They're like, you got to get your shit, guy.

[Adam Pally]

Got your rotated, man. You're at the top.

[John Gabris]

All right, Anyway, lasers. Bo.

[Adam Pally]

Doctor, why do we need to put it back in?

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Don't ask me questions. No, no, they're shooting it.

[John Gabris]

Drink.

[Adam Pally]

This whole thing feels like I'm being cut.

[John Gabris]

It's a huge glass. Can I put in the fridge for a minute?

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Oh, I hope I get pre colonics for the rest of my life from this podcast.

[Adam Pally]

Well, shout out the place.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Deanie Leon in the back.

[Adam Pally]

I honestly thought you were gonna give like a wework and be like, there's another place. This is where I do mine with a call.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

It's a shared. It's a shared colonic.

[Adam Pally]

My desk. My colonic desk.

[John Gabris]

My colonosis is also my voiceover ages.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Colonic desk.

[Adam Pally]

I need. And where did this idea come from? Well, I was writing a totally different script at my colonic desk and the phone rang and I jump scared, started crying.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

We're gonna make millions off the colonic desk by right. This is. This is like the greatest idea you've ever had. And you've had a lot of good ones.

[Adam Pally]

Colonic desk is up there.

[John Gabris]

Zoe's ready for a meeting now. Heads up. She is at the colonic desk.

[Adam Pally]

So masks. You guys have your masks. We haven't CO for a while.

[John Gabris]

So many candles burning. Yeah. You trust me?

[Adam Pally]

I don't know. Is. Is it like a weird, like, germaphobe? No, actually, the opposite of that.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

She's releasing.

[Adam Pally]

All right, yeah, bring me in for the general.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

I get cancelled.

[Adam Pally]

You read the story about Rodney Dangerfield coming to his meetings in a bathroom with one ball out. Zoe is kind of like that.

[John Gabris]

It's a real power move. It's like an alpha move. You know what I mean? It's like, yeah, come on in. Having a meeting. Like having a meeting in a sauna or something like that where people can't keep up.

[Adam Pally]

I'm picturing you, like, it's like your team. You're getting, like, nominated for an Academy Award. It's like super early in the morning and the team is like, sees it and they're like, you call her.

[John Gabris]

I'm not calling her again. You call her Wednesday at 10am no,

[Adam Pally]

because I gotta wait. Well, someone's gotta tell her the news. Call her mom. Her mom will call her. Her mom. Peyote trip.

[John Gabris]

We can't find her. The assist. The assistant looks at Zoe's calendar, and it's all blocked out like colonic laser. Colonic laser microbags.

[Adam Pally]

Well, when's she gonna. She has to go to the Academy Awards, though.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

I've got. I want to do a red carpet with just. With the drip bag.

[John Gabris]

Oh, hell yeah. Walk me through. That's so awesome.

[Adam Pally]

The 360 camera knocks it over.

[John Gabris]

Yeah, you do that, like the thing where it's like the Matrix cam or whatever.

[Adam Pally]

The guy with the long hair is like, all right, Zoe, we're going to whip this around. You know how it works. You just look right here. You give.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

It's like blood is hurting everywhere. You turn around, slow motion, blood coming out of my coming.

[John Gabris]

Oompa Loompas come in with the little eyes to shoot the laser at the blood. When it comes,

[Adam Pally]

their train. Zoe, blood's out.

[John Gabris]

You got kill it. Time to get the lasers.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Clean it. You got to clean it.

[Adam Pally]

And from that, some executive was like, find your show. Get it on streaming service.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Oh, man.

[Adam Pally]

Thanks for being here.

[John Gabris]

Yeah. Thanks so much for watching. Going check out the miniature wife and check out slip and Holy. I can't believe I remembered both.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Very good.

[Adam Pally]

Thanks for being here, Z. Thanks for having me.

[John Gabris]

What a treat. Thank you so much. Wow. First one, season two. ZLJ doesn't get much better than that.

[Adam Pally]

Who would have thought that ZLJ would have taken us to Funky Town?

[John Gabris]

Funky Town. I could not think of how any of the song went for, like. I'm like. I haven't heard the phrase funky town in forever. I can't stop thinking of Dan K Video. Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

Eventually, we'll get Evan funky on the show. We should be reaching out to. Can we. Can we make a note of that? To reach out to Evan. He. He will for sure tell us that someone has pitched that Someone has pitched that to him.

[John Gabris]

No, of course you can't go with their life when they.

[Adam Pally]

Evan funky.

[John Gabris]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

And then he becomes one of the best chefs ever with multiple restaurants. So it's not like this, like, funk. The one he just opened up in Los Angeles is relatively new.

[John Gabris]

I haven't been yet.

[Adam Pally]

Oh, dude, it's awesome. The pesto pasta.

[John Gabris]

Where is it? What?

[Adam Pally]

It's. It's. It's. It's so cool, too. It's in Beverly Hills. But it's like in that old space of. I forget what was there, but you have to enter through the alley.

[John Gabris]

Oh, sick.

[Adam Pally]

It's really, really.

[John Gabris]

Let's go.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, yeah, let's go. Maybe we should do that for our thing, because we can get. Yeah, let's do that. We get. I totally forgot and hit him up in a while because he was in throwback.

[John Gabris]

Oh, right. Okay. I know who he is.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Right, right. He was. And then they just did. He just had a television. He had a television show on Netflix, right? About, like, he. The history of. He, like, had his own television.

[John Gabris]

Oh, sick. Well, yeah, well, let's.

[Adam Pally]

I should call. I. I didn't even think about doing that.

[John Gabris]

Let's go to Funky Town.

[Adam Pally]

First one of the year, baby.

[John Gabris]

One nothing. Pally, you have been listening to Staying Alive with John Gabris and Adam Pali. A Smartless Media production in association with Sirius xm.

[Adam Pally]

Produced by Devin Tory Bryant and Anne Harris. Engineered and edited by Devin Tory Bryant, who also wrote the music.

[John Gabris]

Associate producer and video producer is Matty McCann. Social media producer Tommy Galgano.

[Adam Pally]

Assistant engineer Kyle McGraw. Special thanks to Jared O' Connell at Sirius XM.

[John Gabris]

Executive producers are John Gabris. Ooh, me, Adam Pally. Ooh, you. Will Arnett, Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, Richard Corson, and Bernie Kaminski. Do us a favor. Just rate and review the podcast. It actually helps.

[Adam Pally]

Just so everyone knows, we do not have a discord.

[John Gabris]

Don't reach out to us.

[Adam Pally]

See us on the street. Walk the other way or you'll catch hands. You've been on. On Law and Order, right?

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

All four.

[John Gabris]

What?

[Adam Pally]

You're a Law and Order queen.

[John Gabris]

Oh, I'm so jealous.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Oh, yeah.

[John Gabris]

So jealous.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

I think I hold a record.

[Adam Pally]

No, you're the only person to have been on all four Laws Orders. Yeah, like in there. That's got to be because Trial by

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Jury was only on for one season.

[Adam Pally]

And you and you happen to be

[John Gabris]

coming up on TBJ. Everyone. Wednesdays at 10:30 with DMJ.

[Adam Pally]

I know for a fact,

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Smart less.

[John Gabris]

And Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual.

[Adam Pally]

Even if it means sitting front row at a comedy show.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Hey, everyone, check out this guy and his bird. What is this, your first day?

[Adam Pally]

Oh, no. We help people customize and save on

[John Gabris]

car insurance with Liberty Mutual together.

[Adam Pally]

We're married. Me to a human, him to a bird.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Yeah, the bird looks out of your league.

[John Gabris]

Anyways, get a [e-mail] or with your local agent. Liberty Liberty Liberty Liberty.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Why have I asked my H Vac guy I found on angie.com to change my grandpa's trachea tube? Because I was so amazed by how quickly he replaced our air ducts, I knew I could trust him to change Pop Pops tube while I was was on vacation.

[John Gabris]

Make it quick, young man.

[Zoe Lister-Jones]

Aw, see? Pop up trusts you.

[Adam Pally]

I think we should call a doctor.

[John Gabris]

Connecting homeowners with skilled pros for over 30 years. Angie the one you trust to find the ones you trust. Find pros for all your home projects at Angie Combination.