Poles & Planes (w/ Nicole Byer)

Summary

Podcast Title: Staying Alive with Jon Gabrus & Adam Pally
Episode: Poles & Planes (w/ Nicole Byer)
Release Date: July 24, 2025

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Introduction

In this lively episode of Staying Alive, hosts Jon Gabrus and Adam Pally welcome the dynamic comedian Nicole Byer to the show. The trio dives into a range of topics, blending humor with candid discussions about health, wellness, and the antics that come with their adventurous lifestyles.

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Health & Fitness Journey

The conversation kicks off with Nicole sharing her recent foray into face masks and pole dancing. She humorously describes her collection of masks:

Nicole Byer [00:09]: "I bought a bunch of face masks."

Jon and Adam playfully tease her about the masks' appearances, leading Nicole to elaborate on her pole dancing regimen. She emphasizes her focus on strength rather than sexuality:

Nicole Byer [13:18]: "I just want to be strong. I like when ladies can climb to the top and like slam their pussies into the ground."

Nicole discusses her dedication to pole dancing classes, highlighting her commitment with her instructor, Veronica:

Nicole Byer [12:24]: "We do two hours every Sunday."

The hosts and Nicole delve into the physical challenges of pole dancing, particularly the difficulty of inversions and maintaining form, blending technical insights with comedic anecdotes.

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Gambling Stories

The trio shifts gears to discuss their gambling habits. Nicole reveals her budding interest in poker:

Nicole Byer [07:22]: "I just started. I love it."

Jon and Adam share their own gambling experiences, recounting winning jackpots and the thrill of the casino:

Jon Gabrus [07:42]: "I'm trying to get fuck in, not play with them."

Nicole adds her own tales of gambling successes and mishaps, painting a vivid picture of the highs and lows of casino life. The conversation underscores the camaraderie and joint ventures the hosts and Nicole share in their gambling endeavors.

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Travel and Airline Experiences

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to their humorous and often chaotic experiences while traveling. Nicole narrates a particularly wild flight where she ended up shirtless and covered in red wine:

Nicole Byer [28:26]: "And then I get off the plane, get in my Uber and I like the lady's like trying to talk to me and I promptly just passed out."

Jon shares his own tales of intoxicated flying, including interactions with flight attendants and unfortunate mix-ups:

Jon Gabrus [30:20]: "I was sitting there trying to explain."

Adam adds to the story by describing his challenges with managing substances while traveling:

Adam Pally [30:44]: "I can't do it. I've tried and it just makes me worse."

These stories are laced with humor, showcasing the trio's ability to find laughter amidst their less-than-ideal travel scenarios.

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Exercise and Wellness

Shifting focus to fitness, Nicole talks about her engagement with workout videos led by a trainer named Daniel:

Nicole Byer [38:53]: "I do these workout videos with this man named Daniel and it's this, I guess his company is called the Body Project."

The discussion highlights the importance of accessible fitness resources and the challenges of participating in group exercise classes. Nicole recounts a negative experience at a bungee fitness class, emphasizing the pressure and discomfort she felt:

Nicole Byer [40:11]: "I'll never go back to any sort of group exercise thing again. It's me."

Jon and Adam share their own preferences for solo workouts, underscoring the value of personalized fitness routines over structured group settings.

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Pop Culture and Personal Interests

Entertainment and personal interests take center stage as the hosts and Nicole discuss favorite movies and actors. They delve into conversations about skydiving, referencing various films and characters:

John Gabrus [43:20]: "He's a Watto."

Nicole and Adam express admiration for actors like Tom Hardy and Ben Affleck, blending movie critiques with personal anecdotes:

Nicole Byer [48:07]: "I love Joe Pesci. If he knocked on my door today at his elderly age, I would follow him wherever he wanted me to go."

The discussion pivots to humorous exchanges about headshots and networking within Hollywood, highlighting the quirky ways they navigate the entertainment industry.

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Final Thoughts and Wellness Tips

As the episode winds down, the trio reflects on their wild experiences and the importance of staying grounded. They offer lighthearted wellness tips, albeit through their unique comedic lens:

Jon Gabrus [35:33]: "Listeners got a good idea on how to behave on flights, how to treat themselves, drink water the mornings after."

Nicole emphasizes hydration and electrolyte intake as remedies for hangovers, aligning with the show's focus on health and wellness:

Nicole Byer [36:48]: "I drink like the fucking sprinkles that you put in the water."

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Conclusion

"Poles & Planes" is a testament to the infectious chemistry between Jon, Adam, and Nicole. Through a blend of humor and honest conversation, they navigate topics ranging from fitness and wellness to the unpredictable adventures of their personal lives. Listeners are left entertained and perhaps a bit inspired to embrace their own chaotic yet vibrant journeys toward staying alive.

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Notable Quotes:

• Nicole Byer [00:09]: "I bought a bunch of face masks."
• Nicole Byer [13:18]: "I just want to be strong. I like when ladies can climb to the top and like slam their pussies into the ground."
• Nicole Byer [07:22]: "I just started. I love it."
• Nicole Byer [12:24]: "We do two hours every Sunday."
• Nicole Byer [28:26]: "And then I get off the plane, get in my Uber and I like the lady's like trying to talk to me and I promptly just passed out."
• Nicole Byer [38:53]: "I do these workout videos with this man named Daniel and it's this, I guess his company is called the Body Project."
• Nicole Byer [40:11]: "I'll never go back to any sort of group exercise thing again. It's me."
• Nicole Byer [48:07]: "I love Joe Pesci. If he knocked on my door today at his elderly age, I would follow him wherever he wanted me to go."
• Nicole Byer [36:48]: "I drink like the fucking sprinkles that you put in the water."

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Credits:
Produced by Devin Tory Bryant and Anne Harris. Engineered and edited by Devin Tory Bryant, who also wrote the music. Associate producer and video producer is Maddie McCann. Social media producer Tommy Galgano. Assistant engineer, Kyle McGraw. Special thanks to Jared O'Connell at SiriusXM. Executive producers are Jon Gabrus, Adam Pally, Will Arnett, Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, Richard Corson, and Bernie Kaminsky.

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Subscribe:
To listen to new episodes of Staying Alive ad-free and a whole week early, subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts or visit siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

Transcript

[Adam Pally]

Smart.

[John Gabrus]

Bless me.

[Nicole Byer]

I bought a bunch of face masks.

[Adam Pally]

You did? Wait, the ones that the light. The ones that make you look like Jason Voorhees and they like.

[John Gabrus]

No. Oh, you mean like the sheet masks that like kind of the one that.

[Adam Pally]

Busy Phillips wears on a plane?

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah.

[John Gabrus]

Drag her. That's so funny.

[Nicole Byer]

That's so specific.

[John Gabrus]

It does feel like something that'll come on our podcast. Devin, put her down. We got to get busy on the.

[Adam Pally]

I don't even know if that's true, but it just felt like.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah, it feels real.

[Nicole Byer]

I, like, just saw it in my brain. I was like, yep, that's exactly what. It feels real.

[John Gabrus]

We got a big guest.

[Adam Pally]

Huge guest.

[John Gabrus]

We have exclusively heavy hitters on this pod. But when every once in a while, a friend who's also a party animal, who also is in a fitness journey shows up and we're fire on all cylinders, it's great.

[Adam Pally]

I just, I. Anytime Nicole Byer is around, I'm excited that I'm in the same space.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah. I think you, me, and America would agree that she is value added to things.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah. And one of the people, like, truly, like one of the people I text bits with the most, you know, like, I don't know if there's another person in my phone where. If you went through our conversations, it.

[John Gabrus]

Was like almost no substance.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah. There's nothing of substances, but just joke, joke, joke, joke, joke, joke.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah, that's. She's the best. How are you doing?

[Adam Pally]

I'm okay. I'm starting a new job, a new show movie, and I have got to lose a little weight.

[John Gabrus]

Ooh.

[Adam Pally]

And it's like.

[John Gabrus]

But could you handle that ego wise?

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[John Gabrus]

Okay. Because that would. It's like something like. Yeah, I get it. But it also.

[Adam Pally]

Well, I didn't know I had to lose weight till the fitting. And then we did the fitting and it was, like, apparent that the character was thin, you know, and. And. And what they wanted.

[John Gabrus]

It doesn't say in the script, why can't he just have my body? Yeah. But so can we rewrite this character to just be more like my body?

[Adam Pally]

It says nowhere in the description.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah. Size 24 waist.

[Adam Pally]

But so I. Yeah, I'm just gonna give it, I guess. I guess until I start the movie, a little extra work. I don't know.

[John Gabrus]

Do you have like a. You have like a few weeks run up to this?

[Adam Pally]

Six weeks.

[John Gabrus]

Oh, that's good. Because that's like a. That's a fun goal. Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah. I don't. I don' a goal. Other than to, to make what I wore yesterday fit better.

[John Gabrus]

Right. And but that's something you can like make a plan for. You know what I mean? Of just like yeah, maybe we, we don't do heavy squats for a little while and we're mostly just trying to.

[Adam Pally]

That was the major is problem was like, you know, I haven't worn a form fitting suit in a while and my. I got sequoias.

[John Gabrus]

Quadzilla.

[Adam Pally]

Quadzilla. All of a sudden. All of a sudden.

[John Gabrus]

Good for you. No, I think it's from the pelly.

[Adam Pally]

Yes, from the. I was gonna say I think it's from the pelly.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

But like it, it was like busting through the f. I got. I. Dude, listeners are going fucking hair. They look like Jenny Straw coming out of it.

[John Gabrus]

We're project based guys like in our careers and in lives. So it's. There's. This is kind of fun moment to be like in five weeks I want to try to drop five pounds.

[Adam Pally]

My prediction is that you will not be able to see a difference before I, before I leave and after I come back. Right. Like I feel like it's just going to be the same Adam.

[John Gabrus]

Right. But it'll be enough to.

[Adam Pally]

That the pseudo button.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah. That's all you got? Well, because I, I have something specific. A group of guys I played rugby be with are talking about going September to play in a men's league match in Edinburgh. And I was like, oh, September is just far enough away that I could like take a month, you know, Like I. That's five months away from when we're recording this episode right now. That's enough time for me to.

[Adam Pally]

Five months. You could seriously look like a different person.

[John Gabrus]

Right. And so I'm like having a goal like that, having a goal to like look good doesn't matter because I'm like cocky and think I look good all the time. But having a goal to like not embarrass myself doing a sport is like so much more powerful. Especially rugby is like so nostalgic for me.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[John Gabrus]

I'm like, do you want to lose.

[Adam Pally]

Weight for rugby though? Aren't you like an enforcer?

[John Gabrus]

Yeah, I'm like, it's okay to be but I think I need to lose weight so I can run more.

[Adam Pally]

Right.

[John Gabrus]

Or you know, chicken egg. I need to just start running more and sprinting more. And either I'm going to lose weight from that or be very good and fast at £300.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[John Gabrus]

But I was always like, even at like my fittest men's League. I was still, like, 260 and playing, but I was. That's.

[Adam Pally]

I don't. It's. You know, like, people say they carry weight and stuff like that. Like, I. I've said this to you before. Like, I never think of you as someone who is overweight.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah. You know, like, I, like, don't. I forget sometimes, too, because, like, it rarely limits me physically until I'm, like, trying to get into a space or try on clothes and stuff. And, you know, as my fellow fashion buddy, like, how much I'm talking. Like, you're. You're always like. And they have double xls. Like, it's like, a big thing for me, and I want to lose weight to buy cooler clothes also.

[Adam Pally]

I've. I've. I have, you know, sensitive to it.

[John Gabrus]

Right.

[Adam Pally]

You know, like, I know, like, the worst thing you can do is be like, hey, this is cool. And then it's like, this doesn't fit.

[John Gabrus]

Do you remember. Remember in Sundance, I had the small.

[Adam Pally]

The jacket.

[John Gabrus]

The jacket. And you were like, for the listeners, this guy. In Sundance, you get these gifts from. When you're being in a movie. I'm randomly there because I'm. We're both in the. Our friend RIP Jeff Baena's movie, the Little Hours, but Adam's in another movie, so he's kind of like. He's got two there. They're kind of. And we go into this gifting suite, and they have these Columbia jackets, and he's like. And he just grabs, and I go, I know. I don't want to. I'm weird about trying on clothes. And he goes, and one for him right here. Do you guys have a double xl? The lady comes out with a single xl, and she's like, sorry, only single xl. I'm like, oh, that's fine, then. And you go, put it on. Put it on. And I put it on, and it's super tight, and I barely get it on. And he's like, well, it fits. It's yours. And we just walk out of there. And I was like, thank you. You got me a winner. I still have that winter coat.

[Adam Pally]

It's a good winter coat.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah, it's a great one.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, I got that Columbia snorkel jacket, circle jacket, too. It's got the silver.

[John Gabrus]

We both. Because we got the same one. And all. Because you were like, just put it on, buddy. Walk out of here with the free jacket.

[Adam Pally]

Stop being like, well, those gifting suites, you know, like, it's so hard part. I've had times when I'M in them, and I'm like, I don't want to take anything. And then you leave, and you can hear someone being reprimanded, and they're like, we didn't get a picture of Adam with a thing. We didn't get a picture of Adam with a thing. And it's like, oh, my God, I just got this person fired.

[John Gabrus]

You know, like, you're being like, oh, don't worry about me.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, you're part of a machine.

[John Gabrus]

Instead, you gotta, like, hold up the. The AM radio and go like, yeah.

[Adam Pally]

You'Re part of the machine. And if it's no. And. And look, there's positive negatives. Some people don't want to be pictured with the AM FM thing. And some people don't care that someone got fired. But, like, it. You know, for someone like me, Sundance AR15.

[John Gabrus]

You're like all the rifle. I don't know if I want to be in this commercial.

[Adam Pally]

The Sundance Project, 2025 voucher.

[John Gabrus]

I guess I'll write another chapter for this thing. All right, enough of our bullshit. Let's.

[Adam Pally]

Let's talk. Nicole, you like to gamble?

[Nicole Byer]

I do. I just started. I love it.

[Adam Pally]

What are you playing, slots?

[John Gabrus]

Yeah, we're big gamblers.

[Nicole Byer]

Really?

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

And I. Oh, I just learned how to play poker. I'm not very good at it.

[Adam Pally]

I don't know.

[Nicole Byer]

I'll win, like, a couple hands, but it's hard. But I went to the casino in Chicago with my aunts and uncles, and I didn't know how to play the slots, but I just, like, started, and I was like, maybe you do this, that. And I won 800.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah. Really upset. But I'm also happy for.

[Nicole Byer]

Why does it make you upset?

[John Gabrus]

Because that never happens.

[Nicole Byer]

What are you talking about?

[Adam Pally]

It happens to me. It happens to me.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah.

[John Gabrus]

Wins jackpots when I'm with him.

[Adam Pally]

I've won. I've won two jackpots.

[John Gabrus]

I might be a good luck in Vegas.

[Nicole Byer]

I've never wanted.

[Adam Pally]

You weren't with me each time.

[John Gabrus]

We were.

[Adam Pally]

You were. You were there. You weren't with me. Yeah, I was alone.

[John Gabrus]

Getting distance from you is. Is luck for you.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, I'm good luck.

[Nicole Byer]

Chuck, wait. How much. How much did you win in the jackpot?

[Adam Pally]

I don't want to. I understand, but I've won a lot.

[Nicole Byer]

I haven't won a lot. I've only won. Last time I went, I spent 500. Cash out at a thousand. So I spent five. One. Five.

[Adam Pally]

I've had. Well, we gamble. We gamble in like. Like. Like degenerately, like, so where I've had like wild swing weekends where I'll, I'll, I'll. I'll do amazing for a whole weekend and come out with more money in my hand than I've ever held. And then I've had other weekends where we'll go home driving.

[John Gabrus]

I, I just had, I just had a weekend. I went there to go see NRL rugby, Australian Rugby league there, and I gambled a bu. And I had to do that. Hey, we should transfer some money from savings.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[John Gabrus]

I was like, don't go to the ATM one more time. And then like four hours later, I'm like, all right, go one more time.

[Adam Pally]

It's hard.

[Nicole Byer]

That's the thing. It's so hard, it's hard to stop.

[Adam Pally]

I can't even sleep in Vegas.

[Nicole Byer]

Really.

[Adam Pally]

I can't like, even. I get like. I feel like my skin vibrates when I'm there, you know, Like I was.

[John Gabrus]

Losing so much money that I went up to my room and got high and watched all of the Oscars. And I'm not just saying that because I'm in your office, brother, in your studio. But I truly was like, I need a break. I need three hours of not. So I'm like, oh, did you hit your Oscar parlay? I actually, the funny thing is the only thing I won on that whole weekend was a three way parlay for the rugby games that I was at.

[Nicole Byer]

Rugby is hard. I understand it.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, I've played it, but I don't understand.

[Nicole Byer]

I've only seen it once. It was like your birthday party.

[John Gabrus]

Oh, yeah. We took the bus down.

[Nicole Byer]

I was so drunk.

[John Gabrus]

I've never been drunk. Do you remember at how that party ended?

[Nicole Byer]

Have you pissing on the side of the bus? Yeah.

[John Gabrus]

So you do. Drew Tarver has this video of me standing on Melrose just pissing into the street, cars whipping by. I'm just standing on the side of me. I was blackout. Tried to get in my car and then locked my keys in it. Tiffany was like, you're not driving. I'm like, we'll just get home and we'll be done for the night.

[Adam Pally]

We'll just get home.

[Nicole Byer]

Just get home.

[Adam Pally]

He's like, we will like the, the number one drunk driving.

[John Gabrus]

I. I sent out an email to. I try to always do something silly for my birthday. I sent out an email to a large group of people and I was like, let's all go to this day trip to go see a rugby match. And more people said yes to that than any. I Thought it would be like limiting because it was a full day commit. Everyone said yes. And then I was like, fuck. I had to rent a 50 seat bus. We had 50 people on this bus.

[Nicole Byer]

Tiff had jello shots for everybody. It was very fun. It was a nice.

[John Gabrus]

And we were fucking blacked out. We were at. And we go to see U.S. uSA play Argentina. There's like, the stadium is like 1/8th full.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah. There's really nobody there.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah, it's. The sport's way more popular now than it was like seven years ago. Whatever.

[Adam Pally]

But are they, are they packing stadiums now?

[John Gabrus]

No, the Sevens tournament will pack stadiums and big international games will pack stadiums. But the USA can't do that yet. And there is a major. There is Major League Rugby now. There is like a professional league in America. And they don't. I don't think they sell stadiums yet. But I'm trying, I'm trying to get fuck in, not play with them.

[Adam Pally]

But I'm trying to get back in.

[John Gabrus]

The league.

[Nicole Byer]

Play with them.

[Adam Pally]

We ask everybody this and it's it. It can mean anything that you, that you pull it to mean. But like, what are you doing to stay alive?

[Nicole Byer]

Let's see. I pole dance.

[John Gabrus]

Oh, yes. Yeah. We just had Jillian Bell in talking about feats of strength.

[Nicole Byer]

I love Jillian.

[Adam Pally]

She said that you were amazing at it, that you're talent, you're skillful, very fun.

[Nicole Byer]

I didn't realize that the pole only spun. I like static where it doesn't spin.

[Adam Pally]

Wait a minute. There's spinning poles.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah, that's because that's not all. You can't just like lube up your thigh and whip around.

[Adam Pally]

I didn't know that those spin.

[Nicole Byer]

You can't. It's weird.

[Adam Pally]

But I thought they did. I thought that when, when a, when a dancer comes down the pole. I didn't think the pole was spinning. I thought they were spinning sometimes.

[Nicole Byer]

So like if someone's holding.

[John Gabrus]

I'll pay attention to the wrong stuff.

[Nicole Byer]

And they're moving like that and they're holding a shape that's a spinning pole. But if they're like spinning around, descending or like moving slowly around the pole, going up, that's usually a static pole.

[Adam Pally]

Did you take private stripping lessons?

[John Gabrus]

Pole dancing?

[Adam Pally]

Pole dancing.

[Nicole Byer]

You can say stripping. It comes from strippers. Yeah, I do. I used to take like classes with like a bunch of like strangers and shit. But now I have a teacher named Veronica who I really, really like. And we just do. We do two hours every Sunday.

[Adam Pally]

Two hours.

[John Gabrus]

Do you have a long workout and you have a pool in your house.

[Nicole Byer]

And I have a pool in my house. I had one outside, but I rusted up.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, you gotta be careful about that.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, it was not.

[John Gabrus]

After a while you gotta put WD40.

[Nicole Byer]

But yeah, now I just got one in my house. And you're supposed to tighten them every couple months. Yeah, I have it. And I'm real afraid that one of these days is just gonna fall right the fuck out of the ceiling.

[Adam Pally]

But when you were with, when you were in the thing with other people, were you. Did you feel like you were inhibited? Because it is like, is so much dancing, like.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, but for me, I'm not like a person who's like, I'm trying to explore my sexuality. Right. You're like, I'll be fucking.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

I just want to be strong. I like when ladies can climb to the top and like slam their pussies into the ground.

[Adam Pally]

I know, Same.

[John Gabrus]

So cool, so hot. Same. I also like when they slam their pussies into the ground.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[John Gabrus]

Hey, man, I'm gonna pepper spray.

[Adam Pally]

So what's your, what's your. What was the hardest, like, thing to learn about it?

[John Gabrus]

Oh, yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Inverting.

[Adam Pally]

Inverting.

[Nicole Byer]

Going upside down.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

It's so fucking hard.

[Adam Pally]

What makes it hard? The, the. You get disoriented or.

[Nicole Byer]

No, it's just getting your body upside down. And the way you're supposed to do it is like you just use your core, you like use your arm and then you tilt back and then spread your legs and then hook a leg. But I have a, like, you're.

[Adam Pally]

Where you're like. Let's say this is the pole.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

Right. This is what I've. I'm going for mostly like memory, right? Yeah. If that's the pole. Right.

[Nicole Byer]

Uh huh.

[John Gabrus]

Joe, who's engineering the thing right now, is looking on with absolute fear.

[Adam Pally]

You all right, Joe?

[Nicole Byer]

So, I mean, yeah, but it's the pole.

[Adam Pally]

Usually I feel like the, the. It's like a hook like that, right?

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, you can do it like that.

[Adam Pally]

You can use the, your toe and your.

[Nicole Byer]

No, so you're using your knees. So you're gripping the pole with your knees.

[Adam Pally]

Oh.

[Nicole Byer]

And that's how you.

[Adam Pally]

Is that why knee pads?

[Nicole Byer]

Knee pads are for floor work.

[Adam Pally]

Okay.

[Nicole Byer]

But to do that, I mean, I would have to have exposed knees because I'm using the skin to grip it.

[Adam Pally]

Right.

[Nicole Byer]

But that's called a. I think it's called a crucifix. So you're.

[John Gabrus]

This is what I was about to ask for names and I'm so happy.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, yeah. Your legs are like that. The poles between and then, yeah, you're like that.

[Adam Pally]

And then you're like that.

[Nicole Byer]

And you're upside down and you slide.

[Adam Pally]

Down and you have to control it long enough that when you hit the ground you can like not bang your head. Yeah, yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

You have to like tuck your head and you have to like remember a bunch of stuff so you don't hurt yourself.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah. Because it is also like one of the funniest Internet things that, that comes across. My feet are like stripper injuries because they're so funny. It's just, it's inherently funny.

[Nicole Byer]

There's one girl who falls from like, it's like a, there's someone sitting at a, like on a balcony. So it's like a two story pole and she falls from the fucking top. And then twerks after she falls.

[Adam Pally]

Bring it up.

[Nicole Byer]

And I was like, oh my God. And I was like. Then I learned that she like actually got hurt.

[Adam Pally]

Oh no. Devin, bring it up.

[John Gabrus]

This is like indie wrestling where they like leap off the balcony through like.

[Adam Pally]

Three tables, but there's always funny. There's.

[Nicole Byer]

Speaking of wrestling, like, have you guys been to oh God, what's it called? It's at the Mayan Theater and it's called like Vava Viva something.

[Adam Pally]

I don't like wrestling. I know. I'm like the one person in our friend group that's like, that's just dorky.

[Nicole Byer]

It is dorky, but it's a lot of fun.

[John Gabrus]

It's like Viva la lucha or something like that.

[Nicole Byer]

Something like that. Have you been to it?

[John Gabrus]

No, I, I, I don't think so. No.

[Nicole Byer]

It's fun.

[Adam Pally]

I know, I know I've throw people.

[Nicole Byer]

Out of the ring. I know everyone says it's patrons.

[Adam Pally]

I know everyone says it's fun. I'm just like, I, I'll tell you.

[John Gabrus]

I tell you what, and I'm not trying to sell you on it because I totally get it, but when you go to see like an indie production, it's like seeing Whose Line Is It Anyway on TV versus seeing like a really good long form group. When you see, when you see like indie wrestlers putting it out there with like interesting characters and insane physicality, all you're like, this is sketch comedy plus stunts.

[Nicole Byer]

That's how I feel about it.

[John Gabrus]

And then you, but then like when you, when you see it in that mo, when then you watch, you know, fucking Hulk Hogan. You're like this racist asshole or whatever. But like when you watch those, I.

[Nicole Byer]

Kind of think he's hot.

[John Gabrus]

He still got it. I like that he's hot dog color.

[Adam Pally]

I don't like his looks. I like his politics.

[John Gabrus]

I go to the same beard, guys, I feel like.

[Adam Pally]

But. But I. I just feel like there's a certain element of theater to it that, like, I just can't get over the. The, like, is it real? Is it fake? Why do we care if it's, like, predetermined? You know? Like, it's. It's. I can't get over that. I don't know why. It's like, hey, it's weird.

[John Gabrus]

It's like everyone's on your journey.

[Adam Pally]

Ye. Oh, you're working so much and you're on the road and you're in trailers, and, like, are you doing anything at all to, like, or mitigate. Mitigate the, like, shitty lifestyle that we live?

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, stretching. Stretching really, really helps. Like, you get. You're on a little plane, and then you get to a shitty little town, and then sometimes I'll nap before a show, but, like, I'll wake up with enough time, hopefully that I'm like, oh, let me stretch a little bit.

[Adam Pally]

Right?

[Nicole Byer]

And that helps because it's like, boy, oh, boy, I'm not 20 anymore.

[John Gabrus]

It's tired.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, it's. Your special was so good. I mean, does that. Does that help when you're like, I don't want to just be in shitty clubs. Like, do you get a bump from that where you're like, oh, now I'm in Delta One, you know? And, like. And I'm, you know, like, have things improved?

[Nicole Byer]

Things have improved. I do get to fly Delta 1.

[John Gabrus]

I'm Diamond. I'm diamond medallion.

[Nicole Byer]

Are you? Yeah, I'm. Yeah, I'm a diamond diva. I was a Delta 360, what, for, like, six months. And they pick you up when you have a connection. They pick you up at, like, the plane door, and then they take you down in a Porsche to the next gate.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

And the first time it happened, there was a man with my name on a sign, and I was vaping on the plane. I was like, oh, they're taking me to jail. Oh, yeah, I'm going.

[Adam Pally]

When you're a plane vapor, are you a seat. Plane vapor or bathroom plane vapor?

[Nicole Byer]

Seat.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah. You're just a seat.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, You. And then you pull up your little sweatshirt, and then you're like, yeah.

[Adam Pally]

And you're just. And you're like, please don't let this get outside.

[John Gabrus]

Please go.

[Nicole Byer]

Listen.

[John Gabrus]

I'm not. I'm still afraid to Vape on the plane. But on the flight home to here from being in New York with you last time, I, in the middle of the flight, got up and left. Like, went into my bag and took out a video game system and two wrapped weed gummies and I was like like, what is this 45 year old guy doing up here? And so clearly just like eating drugs and sit down to play video games.

[Adam Pally]

I'm. I'm. I'm really good to tour with because as soon as we get on the plane, I don't want to talk to you. Like I. And that's one of the things I hate the most about seeing someone you know on a plane.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, it sucks when you're like, oh, now we have to have a conversation. O. Do we have to switch a seat so you can sit next to me?

[Adam Pally]

Oh my God.

[John Gabrus]

No, no.

[Adam Pally]

Oh my God. If someone does that, I start coughing more than more. I'm just like, sorry, I'm. My kid has got kids. They have Covid.

[Nicole Byer]

I have kids, they have Covid.

[John Gabrus]

More than one time in my life I've walked off a plane and been like, oh, friend of mine. I didn't know and fully knew they were on the plane the whole time. And I was like, great run. Insert comedian. I'm friends with that. I pretended I didn't see so I went and maybe we both did.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, like you like to think you both did because then you feel better.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

You don't feel like an. I once walked to the gate, saw someone I knew, turned around, sat at a different gate, waited till everyone boarded the plane so I could just avoid this person.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah, it was me.

[Nicole Byer]

Yep, it was me.

[John Gabrus]

We can actually run into.

[Adam Pally]

I. I do say cuz I. Cuz I.

[John Gabrus]

So high. And it was so. I'm like so high at the airport.

[Adam Pally]

It's so.

[John Gabrus]

It's like 6am I'm so high and I just look to my left and she's in like full like hello Kitty regalia. She was like, like a ra.

[Adam Pally]

I was going to say one of the things, one of the things that the three of us have in common whenever we've been in. In those situations where it's like we're at a comedy festival or a film festival together. It's like the three of us pretty much go super hard until the moment that we leave the town.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes.

[Adam Pally]

And so I've been at the airport with both of you guys. In my worst. In my worst.

[Nicole Byer]

Not okay. I'm sorry, I can't talk right now.

[Adam Pally]

Truly not okay. But you guys, guys. I feel like the two of you understand my rhythms like that. And like when. If it's four in the morning and we're together and it's. And. And there was a gap of time where we weren't. Then we probably don't want to speak to each other.

[John Gabrus]

Once I go through security. Noise canceling head the bows go on. And I do not interact person.

[Adam Pally]

We toured on that show. We didn't speak to each other. One flight.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah, we were like. We had, we had eight. We had eight cities to talk in.

[Adam Pally]

We're like on the planes, on opposite guys. The group would be like, they hate each other.

[Nicole Byer]

No, but travel sucks. Like, I get it.

[John Gabrus]

I do the time. I do the cannabis induced time travel. I get high, get either iPad or video games and I just like let time flow past me until I arrive in my destination. Because I. I'm so uncomfortable. Yeah, I need my brain. I'm like a child. I fully need an iPad. Or else I start getting antsy and I start realizing that like my thighs are touching everything and my ankle is touching my ankle, knee, shoulder and butt are touching the person next to me, like all the way down.

[Nicole Byer]

Like, truly forgetful fucking body.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

The first trip I went on with my boyfriend, I was like, I was like, okay, I'm not gonna talk to you on this flight. And he was like, what do you mean? I was like, from the car to the airport, I'm not gonna really talk to you. And he was like, okay. And we got in the car and he was trying to talk to me. And I said, I'm gonna close my eyes for a little bit. And he said, okay. And then we like went through security, got on the plane, I put my hoodie on. I said, all right, can you get me cookies? Will you just get me cookies? And I slept the whole flight.

[John Gabrus]

Part of our job is like, you become sort of a professional traveler and then when you have to do it for fun with friends, you're like, well, you don't like. I went like, on my brother's bachelor party. I'm like, well, I have lounge access.

[Adam Pally]

Oh, yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

I'll leave people in a heartbeat.

[Adam Pally]

If I. I drop a. I'm going.

[John Gabrus]

Upstairs to have two coffees, take a huge and eat two sandwiches.

[Adam Pally]

When we are traveling together, we are individuals on to a same similar destination. Other than that, we have different statuses. It says so on my boarding path.

[Nicole Byer]

So like my boarding pass says I'm better than am.

[Adam Pally]

I just. We're just not together right now. So, like I. You know what I mean?

[John Gabrus]

M says. Brings up911 on podcast all the time. Double check his luggage.

[Adam Pally]

Oh, man. Do you get. Do you. You. We don't have to bring pot anymore with us on. On things. But it was. That was always my biggest stressful thing was touring was like, how am I going to get pot everywhere? Oh, but now you can buy it everywhere.

[John Gabrus]

Now you buy everywhere. And now I fly with it more than I ever did before.

[Nicole Byer]

Fly with everything.

[Adam Pally]

Really? You never. What is that the.

[John Gabrus]

What is promo code tsa.

[Adam Pally]

Let's nail it down though. For real. What is. Are you allowed to fly with your vape?

[Nicole Byer]

No.

[John Gabrus]

No. You are not legally allowed to cross any state lines or even bring it into an airport because that's technically federal jurisdiction. But the TSA has stated. And by the way, the TSA nightmare people. But wonderful Instagram follow. Oh, really highly recommend it. They're like, look.

[Nicole Byer]

What.

[John Gabrus]

This also might give you a little bit of anxiety because it's like, wait, someone tried to bring that on a plane. It's like a knife in a shampoo bottle or whatever.

[Nicole Byer]

In a shampoo bottle.

[John Gabrus]

People be smuggling. And the.

[Adam Pally]

Don't love that accent either.

[John Gabrus]

That's my 90s standup women be shopping.

[Adam Pally]

All the people be smuggling. You're fucking Daryl Hammond over here.

[John Gabrus]

But the TSA has said we are not looking to bust you for weed. So if you don't have, like, intent to sell, they're not gonna.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah. I feel like, like the dogs and stuff. As long as you don't have enough for like a group of people, you're good.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

Or don't think the dogs are discerning.

[John Gabrus]

The dogs.

[Nicole Byer]

Well, I think the dogs are like, oof. This is not enough that we don't need it.

[Adam Pally]

That's only for her.

[John Gabrus]

There's. Leave her alone.

[Nicole Byer]

She needs to have a nice time alone.

[Adam Pally]

She's having trouble sleeping.

[John Gabrus]

Roughly rough. There's a period of time because I.

[Nicole Byer]

Travel with like, coke, like, and nobody said anything.

[John Gabrus]

Well, the dog sniffs.

[Adam Pally]

Not a problem.

[Nicole Byer]

No. Cuz it's not enough. The dogs are looking for like, kilos.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

Really? It's not enough.

[Nicole Byer]

I think no one stopped me.

[John Gabrus]

Don't push it.

[Adam Pally]

Not enough.

[Nicole Byer]

You see my.

[Adam Pally]

I feel like my eyes.

[John Gabrus]

You're saying you can fly with you something wild. Yeah. Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

Not at all.

[Nicole Byer]

I can't really explain what.

[Adam Pally]

Turn that TV off.

[John Gabrus]

Turn that TV off. I used to not want to smoke flour before a flight because I was worried about smelling like it. And then one time I was outside of jfk, and I had, like, three joints, and I'm like, my flight is not for a while. I'm gonna just. I just blast them back to back to back, and I'm like, I'll be fine. And then I get in the TSA PreCheck line, and a guy is holding, is walking, walks up to me with a German shepherd that has a GoPro on it. The scared. And I was, like, so terrified. It was like a cybernetic dog. I got a machine gun on its back, and I was bugging out I people.

[Adam Pally]

I am not puppy. I am dog.

[John Gabrus]

Exactly.

[Nicole Byer]

I once took. I don't know how much the edible was, but I took an edible, went to the airport, and then I was like, oh, no, my gate is so far away. And I sat down every time I saw. Took me like, 45 minutes to walk 10ft.

[Adam Pally]

It was so hard timing in edible or. Or any medication. I, I, I ended up in a lot of trouble. Oh, I ended up. I ended up in a serious amount of trouble. Once I, I mistimed an Ambien. You know, when Ambien was like, Doctors would be like, oh, you have a headache. You're not sleeping enough. Here's a prescription for Ambien that lasts you a lifetime.

[Nicole Byer]

And now they won't give it to you.

[Adam Pally]

I know why they won't. Because I. I think I might have killed some people. I was on a flight, a red eye to Philadelphia to shoot something. And I took the ambient in the car on the way to lax. Flight got delayed. Sat down at that Rolling Stone. Rock and roll.

[John Gabrus]

Rock and roll. Brewery.

[Adam Pally]

Brewery.

[John Gabrus]

Rock and brew.

[Adam Pally]

Rock and brew.

[John Gabrus]

I don't want to know the name.

[Nicole Byer]

Like, wait, what. What airline was this?

[Adam Pally]

It was like, it must have been United or Delta, because that's in, like, I think, Terminal 4.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah. It's all. It's been redone, but that.

[Adam Pally]

And. And I just started, like, you know, house and beers, and that was the last thing I remember. I woke up in Philadelphia with no shirt on, covered in red wine.

[Nicole Byer]

What?

[Adam Pally]

And vomit. Don't know what happened in your chair? In my chair.

[Nicole Byer]

On the plane.

[Adam Pally]

On the plane in first class.

[Nicole Byer]

And nobody told the flight attendants holding.

[Adam Pally]

The empty little red. You know, they give you, like, a half wine bottle. Yeah. Holding it like a football. Vomit all over red wine. Like, I poured it on my head, like, in my hair, like.

[Nicole Byer]

And the flight attendants weren't like, oh, he's awake. Here's what happened.

[Adam Pally]

I got up. They were like, we're now landing in Philadelphia, and I woke up and was like, oh my God. Realized I had no shirt on, Packed on my bag, got up, walked out of the thing. The flight attendants wouldn't look me in the eye. I wasn't wearing a shirt. I took my bag down. It's. It's like on my bare skin. I'm like walking through the tunnel. It's freezing cold. I walk out, I walk right into like a Hudson News and I buy like a city of brotherly love.

[Nicole Byer]

Why don't you go in your carry on shirt?

[Adam Pally]

I didn't have any clothes in my carry on. I was like, it was legit a red eye that I. And I was working in Philadelphia and so I, I and I get. And the kid who was picking me up from the movie, it was like an indie movie, was like in his mom's like, Ultima. And he was like so excited to meet me. And he was like, with the signs and Adam Valley. And I was like, oh my God. Saw him like, I literally have like wine.

[John Gabrus]

You're like Mikel Gorbachev, like Borbichov and vomit.

[Adam Pally]

I smell like vomit. Vomit. Oh. And I like, God knows what happened on that flight. God.

[John Gabrus]

God does know.

[Adam Pally]

And the fact I have you told.

[Nicole Byer]

This story on a podcast before, I'm.

[Adam Pally]

Sure I must have, but like got to this day, I am shocked that I haven't, I wasn't arrested or.

[Nicole Byer]

I need somebody who's on that flight to tell me what you were doing.

[Adam Pally]

I'm. Well, I know I poured the wine on my head. Honestly, I don't even drink red wine that much.

[John Gabrus]

Is it a cabernet? Cuz that's good, that's good for the. You don't want beo up there.

[Nicole Byer]

No, no, no. I don't even like absolute.

[Adam Pally]

I don't even drink one. It was just like the Ambien and the beer and then that was it. The next thing I knew, I woke up. I must have eaten the airplane food and thrown it off.

[John Gabrus]

I said, and then you said, I'll.

[Nicole Byer]

Clean it off, I gotta watch this off.

[John Gabrus]

I was so high. I said to a flight attendant when I was boarding because it got delayed like one hour and it was a red eye and I'm like, oh, no. I'm like bedtime high and I still have to get on the plane. And I said to the woman, do you guys have Transformers on this plane? I meant the movie. And she looked at me like, so crazy crazy. And I was like, I mean the movie. And she's like, yeah, I thought you meant the movie. And then I'm, like, trying to explain.

[Adam Pally]

I'm like, oh, oh, because I'm a terrorist.

[John Gabrus]

I'm sounding crazier and crazier. Optimus prime can't stop me or whatever. And then she was like. And then we. And I tried to, like, laugh, and then I, like, went like. I was like, am I supposed to hug you? Like, I forgot how to interact. And I was like, am I supposed to hug this one? And she just kind of, like, leaned back. And I was like, I'm in 3A. I'll just go sit there.

[Nicole Byer]

I'll just go sit there. That's so funny.

[John Gabrus]

This was the fight where I put on Hangover 3, one of the worst movies I've ever rewatched after. But I was laughing so hard, I was hysterical crying. And the guy next to me goes, what are you watching? Cause I'm cackling on a red eye. And I take it off and I go, Hangover 3. They're such good friends. It's true.

[Adam Pally]

They're such good friends.

[John Gabrus]

That is the secret sauce.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, my God.

[John Gabrus]

And then I had, like, tears pouring down my face. So then I start. And I'm like, oh. I actually watch Hangover 3 on the plane, and I fucking loved it. And I put it on at home and I was like, this movie is dog shit.

[Nicole Byer]

That's so funny. I was once on a plane and they. I was in comfort. Plus, I don't belong back there. I had to get back to LA from New York. And the flight attendant was like, I know you. And I was like, I think I know you too. He's like, yeah, I'm usually on LA to New York. And I was like, oh. And he goes, I'm usually not back here. I was like, me either.

[Adam Pally]

Oh, you have a kindred spirit.

[Nicole Byer]

So then he brought me a bottle of champagne, which I drank.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

And then when the cart went by, I was like, can I have a vodka soda? And he was like, yeah, I got you. So then he gave me a cup of vodka and, like, a little thing of soda. And then he came back and gave me another one. So a bottle of champagne.

[Adam Pally]

You're wasted.

[Nicole Byer]

Two cups of vodka. I'm so drunk.

[Adam Pally]

And you're 30,000ft in the air. Yes.

[Nicole Byer]

And I'm watching Forres Gump like this. And I was like, jenny, be better.

[Adam Pally]

It is like a box of chocolate. You know what I like right now? You know what I love? A box of chocolate.

[Nicole Byer]

I want some chocolate.

[John Gabrus]

Do you know how many different kinds.

[Nicole Byer]

Of shrimp there Are Bubba. Bubba knows so much shrimp. And then we land and we're stuck on the Runway for like 20 minutes. And I was like, if I scream, they'll let me off. And then I was like, well if I scream they might take me to jail. I won't scream. So then I get off the plane, get in my Uber and I like the lady's like trying to talk to me and I promptly just passed out. And then I woke up to her being like, we're at your home, get out of my car. And then I was like, oh, sorry. And then I went upstairs and then vomited so hard that I popped blood vessels in my eyes.

[Adam Pally]

I've been there.

[Nicole Byer]

God, I want.

[John Gabrus]

With like spider web of my face.

[Adam Pally]

I got picked up once from a flight from New York to Vancouver to go shoot a movie. Just a normal flight. I must have had seven bloody Marys. I got picked up, I was totally fine. I was like, this is great. Can't wait to go to the Sutton Hotel, you know like where actors go to die. I was like, can't wait to work in Vancouver. The guy picks me up in a black car. I'm feeling myself. I'm walking through, I'm like, oh yeah, I'm a Mr. Valley. That's my dad. Get in the car. We start driving. I'm like, can you pull over? Pulls over, I open the door and I like just like hurl what looks like blood.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah, Just barf.

[Adam Pally]

On the side of the road in Canada in like beautiful British Columbia. And then I have to like get back in the car. And meanwhile I can only imagine what the driver is doing like while this is going on.

[Nicole Byer]

Watching you.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah. Or just being like ah. Like hearing the splatter and looking away. So I get back in, I'm like, I'm so sorry.

[John Gabrus]

I really, I had clams.

[Adam Pally]

Like I'm so sorry. I don't know, I don't even feeling well. Just like. He's like, yeah, yeah, you mind cleaning yourself up a little more before you touch anything? And I was like, oh God, I got the only dick driver in Canada. And he made me like pretty much hang my hands and, and self out the window while we drove to the hotel. Cuz it smelled so bad. And when we arrived, piece of that.

[John Gabrus]

Guy is, I'm dying though.

[Nicole Byer]

I'm dying. He's like, put your hands out the.

[Adam Pally]

Window cuz that might. We were in my. So I, we, we drove like I was a Muppet, you know, like for.

[Nicole Byer]

The rest of the way, you puking your Hands.

[Adam Pally]

I must have puked in my hands. Awful feeling. And then I got to the hotel and had to like go check in.

[John Gabrus]

So this is a wellness podcast and I feel like listeners got a good idea on how to behave on flights, how to treat themselves, drink water the mornings after.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

Well, do you have any, do you have any hangover? Like, what do you. All right. Because like I'm, I'm. I'm pretty much. I can't hair the dog.

[Nicole Byer]

That's what I do.

[Adam Pally]

You do? I can't do it. I've. I've tried and it just makes me worse.

[Nicole Byer]

Really?

[Adam Pally]

Yeah. I can't do it.

[John Gabrus]

I like, I've got a three hit combo that I use for. It's called, it's called the weed water wank. A little pot. A little. A lot of water and a little jerk sesh and I, I can bounce back.

[Adam Pally]

Why does the jerk sesh?

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah.

[John Gabrus]

Cause it's like I'm treating myself to something, you know what I mean? Where I'm like, I'm gonna feel better after that.

[Nicole Byer]

That wouldn't work for me because I. I like using a vibrator and then if I'm hungover like that, I'm like gonna fucking puke.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, you're too tech.

[Nicole Byer]

Every day. Oh my God. I feel that. I don't feel good.

[Adam Pally]

Is there a way for me to get off without vomiting?

[John Gabrus]

Well, my water and electrolyte. My water filter is hooked up to a pocket pussy. So I'm able to just get both of the same.

[Adam Pally]

It blasted into your dickhole.

[John Gabrus]

I just opened my mouth. Whoops.

[Nicole Byer]

I. Hair of the dog. And what else do I do? I drink like the fucking. The sprinkles that you put in the water.

[Adam Pally]

Oh, oh, I've seen those. The instrument electrolytes cycles. You do that.

[Nicole Byer]

Electrolytes.

[Adam Pally]

You do that and it works for you.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, that's the one. That one.

[John Gabrus]

That one electric light is visited.

[Adam Pally]

But that works for you. You don't find that it just makes you pee?

[Nicole Byer]

No.

[Adam Pally]

Okay.

[John Gabrus]

Electro. I'm a big electrolytes guy for hangovers or if I know I'm going to get on one, if I can have it like at night, like before I go out or.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, when you're out, like just drinking electrolytes kind of helps not make you feel terrible.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

It's just always weird to be at a bar and rip open an electrolyte thing and like put it in the water.

[Nicole Byer]

Take care of my.

[Adam Pally]

Have like one for me, one for.

[John Gabrus]

Them in, in Vegas. I put it on the nightstand and pre make it and I'm like when I come home I'm going to have that.

[Adam Pally]

That's smart. You're real thinking ahead. Alcohol.

[John Gabrus]

Oh yeah. You know, sober gabers really cares about drunk gabers. Drunk gabers doesn't give a about anybody.

[Adam Pally]

You're in and out here you seem to be completely unaligned.

[John Gabrus]

My innie and my, my out.

[Nicole Byer]

Why are you so tan?

[John Gabrus]

Cuz this is how I always my life, babe.

[Nicole Byer]

Are you always this tan?

[John Gabrus]

I'm always pretty tan. Well, once the weather turns too, I get pretty tan. Cuz I, I, I once the weather.

[Adam Pally]

It'S overcast and 60 outside.

[John Gabrus]

We had like a week of very sunny days and I went to the pool twice and I walk with my shirt off.

[Nicole Byer]

The pool?

[John Gabrus]

Yes. I gatekeep which pool I go to but I swim laps at a pool that's outside.

[Nicole Byer]

Is it heated?

[John Gabrus]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Where's this?

[Adam Pally]

Do you swim?

[Nicole Byer]

I love swimming.

[Adam Pally]

Really? Is that an exercise for you?

[Nicole Byer]

No.

[Adam Pally]

Oh, I just like socially swimming.

[Nicole Byer]

I love to just like I like treading water.

[John Gabrus]

I'm just putting it together that you have a pool.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

Why are you ask else about our pool?

[John Gabrus]

Yeah, I go to swim laps with like old Russian ladies.

[Nicole Byer]

I don't know. Maybe that would be fun.

[John Gabrus]

It is.

[Adam Pally]

Oh it's, it's fun and it's a really good exercise. I, I, I got so. I never liked swimming because I can't tell if I'm sweating. Like I like to know like cuz.

[Nicole Byer]

You can but if you're out of breath.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, but it's, but you're, but you're out of breath but also cooled off.

[John Gabrus]

It's crazy to feel that you are, you can get to the point where you're like oh, I'm sweating and I'm in a pool.

[Nicole Byer]

I've never had that happen.

[John Gabrus]

I was captain of my high school swim team, Belmore Merrick Sharks. I went to Nassau county in 2000.

[Nicole Byer]

No big deal. Speaking of exercise. You loved it. You loved it.

[John Gabrus]

The microphone.

[Nicole Byer]

Speaking of exercise, I do these workout videos with this man named Daniel and it's this, I guess his company is called the Body Project. It's him and his wife. He's nice. She's a. And they've been really helpful. I like those videos.

[John Gabrus]

Oh, that's why you do them at home. Watch.

[Nicole Byer]

It's Daniel and at like 15 minutes or a half hour, sometimes they're 45. It'll be him, a fatty and then a fit person person. And I literally looked on YouTube I was like, I don't know, fat people working out. If they can do it, I could do it. And then I found this and I.

[John Gabrus]

Really like, what kind of stuff is Daniel running you through?

[Nicole Byer]

A lot of, like, it feels like 90s aerobics. They'll be like, lift your leg and you're doing that a lot. And then he's like, punch and then lift, kick your legs back. And then like, I get like a good workout, I'd be sweating. And.

[Adam Pally]

And you bring up an interesting point, which, which is I love seeing people in exercise classes that look like me.

[Nicole Byer]

Same.

[Adam Pally]

I hate being in an exercise class and having the pressure that I am the least fit, worst person.

[Nicole Byer]

Same that.

[Adam Pally]

And, and then everyone treats you that way.

[John Gabrus]

Like, there have been so many, great job, Adam.

[Adam Pally]

So many exercise classes. Like, you're doing great, Adam.

[Nicole Byer]

I went to a Zumba class once where the teacher kept dancing in front of me. And my friend was like, she doesn't do this for everybody. And I was like, don't do it for me.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, like, clearly.

[Nicole Byer]

I went to a bungee fucking fitness place in Burbank. I think it's Airfit Bungee in Burbank. And I fucking hate them during the class. So I didn't realize they sent an email being like, how much do you weigh? And I just hadn't answered it. But like, when I got to the class, I said, 260. I'm 250. But I, I patted it because I was like, I'm not dying here.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

And then I asked like a clarifying question on like, how to do a thing. And then the lady was like, and that's why it's important not to lie about your weight. And then stares at me. And I was like, what? And I was with a friend and I was like, did that happen? She was like, yeah, it happened. I'll never go back to any sort of group exercise thing again. It's me.

[John Gabrus]

No. You have enough money. Take, do, do it privately or watch Daniel's YouTube video. I lied about my weight when I went skydiving.

[Nicole Byer]

Did you say you weighed less? Yeah, Gabri, that's how you die.

[John Gabrus]

There's a 225 cut off. I weigh.

[Adam Pally]

Let's 235 plan didn't work.

[John Gabrus]

I was 235 at the time. God, I would kill to be that low again. But I was 235. Said I was 225. I'm like, they got to have a 10 pound margin error here. And so I. Because I wasn't going to be able to go skydiving. So I just had.

[Adam Pally]

And what a bummer that would have been.

[Nicole Byer]

Was it fun?

[John Gabrus]

It was so fun. It was really scary.

[Adam Pally]

I have no interest.

[Nicole Byer]

I don't have an interest either. But also, I learned about this man who tried to kill his wife by fucking with her little skydiving pack. And. And then she landed. It didn't open. She, like, broke her whole back. And then when the police were investigating it, they found out she had a gas leak in her house, and it turned out her husband had turned the gas on to try to kill her that way, too. I was like, wow, this man's fun.

[John Gabrus]

And he. He's also bad at his.

[Nicole Byer]

Bad at trying to kill that lady.

[Adam Pally]

You got to hire someone sometimes, you know?

[Nicole Byer]

Got to. I don't want to go skydiving. That's.

[Adam Pally]

I have. No. It's like, one of those things. My sister did it when she was in college, and I remember her telling me, like, oh, it's the most, like, amazing thing, the sens. And I was like, I just don't have it in here.

[Nicole Byer]

Have you done it since?

[John Gabrus]

I don't think I would do it. I mean, I. You know, I'd have to cut off both my legs to be under 225.

[Nicole Byer]

Throw my torso up, potato gamers flying out.

[John Gabrus]

I'm strapped to a guy's chest, like a front back, like a Kate Spade bag on his front.

[Adam Pally]

You're a Watto.

[Nicole Byer]

What's a Watto?

[Adam Pally]

From Total Recall?

[John Gabrus]

Yeah. Well, Watto is the junk dealer from Phantom.

[Adam Pally]

What do they call Kwato? Yeah. From Total Recall.

[John Gabrus]

Free your mind, Quaid.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, wait, I just.

[John Gabrus]

Allow me to tell you. Mark Rennie, has he showed you Total Recall yet?

[Nicole Byer]

Yes, because that's the lady with the three titties.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, three titties.

[John Gabrus]

So later on in the movie, the bad guy has, like, a little person in his stomach. That's Quato.

[Nicole Byer]

That. Nothing could have prepared me for that.

[Adam Pally]

No, no. That's the whole point of the movie.

[Nicole Byer]

So hard. It was so wild.

[John Gabrus]

I get weekly updates from Rennie of what movie he showed you. He's like, oh, Nicole wants to see.

[Adam Pally]

And this is because Nicole has seen nothing I've seen.

[Nicole Byer]

I don't know.

[John Gabrus]

I had a podcast about how she's seen no movies and monetized it.

[Nicole Byer]

So why I've never seen a thing.

[John Gabrus]

And also, you've seen Craven three times.

[Nicole Byer]

I've seen Craven at least 10 times.

[John Gabrus]

You're off your reo. I watched Craven, and I did like it.

[Nicole Byer]

It's so fun.

[John Gabrus]

The way he moves is really funny.

[Adam Pally]

Aaron Taylor Johnson project.

[John Gabrus]

Yes.

[Nicole Byer]

It's a fun movie that they didn't promote.

[John Gabrus]

It's directed by J.C. shandor.

[Adam Pally]

No way.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes. J.C. shandor.

[Adam Pally]

He did that awesome boat movie with Robert Redford.

[John Gabrus]

Yes. He did the into the the sea movie with Robert Redford. And what's the Pedro Pascal? Ben Affleck's Sniper. The military movie where they robbed the drug dealer in South America. It's all hot guys. Oscar Isaac. What that. That's called Triple Frontier.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, yeah. That's a good movie.

[John Gabrus]

That's a great movie. Shandor directs and the way Aaron Taylor Johnson they have him moving is like. It's corny in a. In a good comic book way. He like. Cuz he's animal powers. He like scurries around a lot and he like runs on all fours at times and stuff. It's really fun.

[Nicole Byer]

It's really fun.

[Adam Pally]

Sounds like a big NYU mask class where it's like you're a lion being the lion.

[John Gabrus]

Alessandro Nivola, that acts actor is playing the rhino. It's so crazy.

[Nicole Byer]

I don't, I don't know him from a single thing but every choice he made was incredible.

[John Gabrus]

He's brilliant.

[Nicole Byer]

Incredible. So at one point he like roars like a rhino and he's just like. And I was like, I don't think that's what rhino sound like.

[Adam Pally]

And how does a movie like that get shelved by Marvel to non existent.

[Nicole Byer]

I think it's because it was through Sony and then Sony's not gonna do any more Marvel.

[John Gabrus]

Sony was doing those kind of Spiderman adjacent movies and then they.

[Adam Pally]

Venom.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah, Venom, Morbius, the Spider Lady, Madam.

[Nicole Byer]

Web, which I loved.

[Adam Pally]

Madam Web is I'm a scientist. Right. Without that meme from Dakota fan. Yeah, yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Honestly they really should have leaned into how corny it was and just like.

[Adam Pally]

That'S what always should.

[John Gabrus]

But that's what the Sony movies did that I thought the Marvel movies didn't. Is that like Venom is corny? Cheesy in a fun way. It's like a two person. It's a two hander comedy starring Tom Hardy. Twice.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah. Which he loves to do.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

Of course. There's no one that loves to do himself more than Tom. Wait, I got a pitch for my opposite here. Tom Hardy.

[John Gabrus]

There is that movie where he plays his own brother.

[Adam Pally]

Many of them.

[Nicole Byer]

What movie is that?

[Adam Pally]

He plays his own brother. He plays him. It doesn't even. Also a movie where it's just him in A car. He loves being alone.

[Nicole Byer]

Interesting.

[Adam Pally]

I get it. Yeah, no, me too.

[Nicole Byer]

I get it.

[Adam Pally]

If I could.

[John Gabrus]

If I could be gay for a day. Oh, sorry.

[Nicole Byer]

If I could be gay for day.

[Adam Pally]

He would be one. A top. He's choice.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah. I. There's a few men in Hollywood that I always make the joke that I.

[Nicole Byer]

Who name three Tom Hardy are.

[Adam Pally]

These are. These are. Wait, hold on. Clarify. These are the three men that are.

[John Gabrus]

These are three men in Hollywood that make me want to ask follow up questions about the Q in lgbtq.

[Nicole Byer]

Okay.

[John Gabrus]

Because I know it's not a full blown B, but there's some Q.

[Nicole Byer]

Sure.

[John Gabrus]

It's Tom Hardy. It's Henry Cavill. Specifically, Mission Impossible. Fallout with his mustache.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes.

[Adam Pally]

And when he does the pump.

[John Gabrus]

Yep. Yeah. And he pumps up his sleeves. That's pretty hot. I will say Aaron Taylor Johnson. He's kind of.

[Adam Pally]

He's yoked.

[John Gabrus]

I like these, like. I like beefy, hunky brunettes.

[Adam Pally]

He's Jewish.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah.

[John Gabrus]

I. I also. Affleck is, but late stage Affleck.

[Nicole Byer]

I like him now. I also really like the. He keeps going back, back and forth between the Jennifers. It's iconic.

[John Gabrus]

He said an interview, he's like, I'd get back with Jennifer. And Jennifer's like, no, we won't.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes. I love him.

[Adam Pally]

He's like, I hung out with him at a basketball game recently for like five minutes and fell in love. I was like, you are the funniest, coolest guy. He is. He has Phil Knight. You know that the way he acted as Phil Knight in that movie Air.

[Nicole Byer]

Which movie Air?

[Adam Pally]

He's so good in that movie. And like. Yeah, he's so.

[John Gabrus]

He's very. He's very talented actor, a very talent director. And then he's also really good at being himself in interviews. And it. I'll say, dude, I was saying, Google him speaking Spanish and try not to get hard.

[Nicole Byer]

It's great.

[Adam Pally]

Ben Affleck. I love his Duncan commercials. I love Ben Affleck.

[John Gabrus]

I want to be.

[Adam Pally]

I told him that at the game.

[Nicole Byer]

What do you say?

[Adam Pally]

I love you too. He was really nice. He was really nice. And then he did sign my forehead. I was wearing a helmet, to be honest, so I think he thought something.

[Nicole Byer]

He was like, oh, my. Make a wish is here.

[John Gabrus]

I want to meet the fat Batman.

[Nicole Byer]

Wait, he was super nice.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

I've seen those movies.

[John Gabrus]

He's Batman. Not in the newest. Not. I can't say the newest one because.

[Nicole Byer]

Rob Pat, that's Robert Pattinson. That was a three hour movie and I wished it was longer. I loved it.

[Adam Pally]

Who are your guys?

[Nicole Byer]

My guys?

[John Gabrus]

What three guys make you want to go H? Maybe I'll be straight now.

[Nicole Byer]

I'll do girls. There's this wrestler named Jake. Jade. Jade Carrera or something. She's so pretty. And I think she should play Storm in the X Men.

[Adam Pally]

What kind of character is she doing in wrestling?

[Nicole Byer]

I don't know. I just follow her Instagram.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah, well, I'm a. I'm a big.

[Nicole Byer]

She's just so pretty.

[John Gabrus]

Shout out. Raya Ripley.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, I don't know. Rhea Ripley.

[John Gabrus]

I'll send you a link.

[Nicole Byer]

Please send.

[John Gabrus]

I mean Instagram.

[Adam Pally]

Not a link, a link.

[John Gabrus]

I'll send you a Dropbox of 600 gigs. They're all footage of her getting in and out of her car from like a long leg.

[Adam Pally]

You just sent me an address also.

[John Gabrus]

That's where I keep the air gapped hard drive.

[Nicole Byer]

I really like Joe Pesci.

[Adam Pally]

Oh, hell yeah. Joe Pesci is a. I love him so much. Fashion icon. Everything Joe Pesci has ever worn to a premiere, I would wear right now.

[Nicole Byer]

If he knocked on my door today at his elderly age, I would follow him wherever he wanted me to go.

[Adam Pally]

You love your Sonic movies.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, my God.

[Adam Pally]

Why don't you come with me here?

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, my God. This is doing it.

[Adam Pally]

Let's do it.

[John Gabrus]

I'm friends. I'm friends with Adam palace from the Sun.

[Adam Pally]

I'm friends with one of the cops.

[John Gabrus]

Not.

[Adam Pally]

Not Decop, not Decom, not Marsden, not Mars. But the other one. They spun him off.

[Nicole Byer]

They spun him off.

[John Gabrus]

Oh, man. Just a couple of utes. Just the two utes. Two utes.

[Nicole Byer]

The two.

[Adam Pally]

One.

[Nicole Byer]

It's one of my favorite movies.

[Adam Pally]

I mean, mean.

[John Gabrus]

Well, let's move. Not to make this completely heteronormative, but Marisa to's outfits in that movie are absolutely bananas.

[Adam Pally]

You guys, Marissa and I have the same dry cleaner.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, you do?

[Adam Pally]

And she is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.

[Nicole Byer]

I bet. I fucking love her.

[Adam Pally]

I see her on the street taking her dry cleaning and I am like.

[John Gabrus]

Oh, my God, are these dirty? Just leave them here. Take care of them.

[Nicole Byer]

Don't worry.

[Adam Pally]

Oftentimes I go in and I'm like, was Marissa here this morning?

[John Gabrus]

Adam, you're taking shirts over one at a time.

[Adam Pally]

I brought my picture. I told Davis I brought my picture in to put up because I. I always wanted that. And so I was like, well, this is my dry cleaner I've been going here for.

[Nicole Byer]

Did they put it Up.

[Adam Pally]

They did put it up, but they moved it away from Marisa Tomei's and I asked them why.

[Nicole Byer]

Uhhuh.

[Adam Pally]

And the response I got was because we're different. Which made me think like. Cause she didn't come in here and put a picture. Picture up.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah, you know, yeah, we, we printed.

[Nicole Byer]

It different is a wild response.

[Adam Pally]

But I got it.

[Nicole Byer]

Because you're different.

[Adam Pally]

I was like, yep, I see. It's sad. I saw it as funny. I see it now.

[John Gabrus]

So even though that happened, you still carry around that duffel bag full of framed headshots?

[Adam Pally]

Well, yeah. It's like a little party. I'm in la, I want to meet. I mean, that's the famous Brian Grazer bit that I believe is real is that Brian Grazer carries around with him really small baseball card size photos of himself. And whenever he goes to a party and he goes to the bathroom, he leaves one.

[John Gabrus]

Oh, that's funny.

[Adam Pally]

And so if Brian Grazer was at your house and you walk into your bathroom, you see like a little framed picture.

[Nicole Byer]

That's wild.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah. One of the best business cards.

[John Gabrus]

Didn't Steve Martin have a business card that said, you met Steve Martin? Pretty cool, huh?

[Nicole Byer]

That's, that's funny.

[Adam Pally]

That's a good one. That's a good one.

[Nicole Byer]

Gave my headshot to a man because I got home when I was living in New York. I got home, my roommate was like having a party. There was this guy I was talking to and I was like, oh, you're kind of cute. And he's like, can I get your number? And I went, yeah. And I went and got a headshot and wrote my number on it and gave it to him.

[Adam Pally]

It's on the bottom, freak. It's already on the bottom. The number is on it.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah. Hell yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

I don't think I had numbers on my head, Sean.

[Adam Pally]

Oh, they used to have like, I think phone numbers.

[Nicole Byer]

I stapled my resume stable resume in the back.

[John Gabrus]

Man, we are old. Remember when, Remember when you printed up anything or. Or went somewhere to reproductions and out reproductions in Brian park and spent $199, 300 copies.

[Nicole Byer]

Your headshot like you want it matte, you want it glossy. I'm like, I don't know, just give me the head shot.

[Adam Pally]

It felt like the guy, Brian, what was his name? There was one guy that did it for every, for all of us. Was like.

[John Gabrus]

It was also one of those things where it was like, if you do this wrong, you'll never work in Hollywood. And now they are not part of the industry.

[Nicole Byer]

No, they don't give a.

[Adam Pally]

About Realtors.

[John Gabrus]

Realtors are the only people getting headshots these days. Realtors and authors, dentists.

[Adam Pally]

That's who has like anytime you walk by one of those cool, cool looking dental spas, there's like a head shot of some guy with a, like who looks like he's looking at a diamond Back.

[Nicole Byer]

Bring back headshots.

[Adam Pally]

I would, you know, I want to.

[Nicole Byer]

See them in places.

[Adam Pally]

I think Instagram.

[John Gabrus]

Bring back headshots. I want to see them in places.

[Nicole Byer]

I want to see some headshots. Who comes here?

[Adam Pally]

I come to every place I eat in New York. I bring them with me and I put them up.

[John Gabrus]

Nicole, what you trying to wrap up eventually? Yeah. Yeah, we should be.

[Nicole Byer]

You trying to leave here?

[John Gabrus]

Buyer, you got anything you want to plug on your way out of here? I know you're.

[Adam Pally]

Are you. Are you working on another special?

[Nicole Byer]

Trying.

[Adam Pally]

Are you going to do it again? Is it so hard to. Is it so hard?

[Nicole Byer]

It was hard gathering the, the material and then I. It's funny. Cuz I was like, I want an hour of material. But then I started doing crowd work and I was having a lot of fun with it. So I've like really incorporated. Thank you. I've incorporated that with like the act. So then when I do the crowd work, I do callbacks later and yeah, I'm just having a nice time.

[Adam Pally]

That's good.

[John Gabrus]

That's. That's wonderful.

[Adam Pally]

I feel like your crowd work is great. Like I said, like you're an improviser. You are equally as talented writing a bit as you are getting on stage with nothing and making a sketch happen live. Like you can tell when someone's posting clips of crowd work and they're not that.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah, it can't always be somebody's occupation. But you can get plenty of hits on Instagram.

[Adam Pally]

Like I saw a clip of a comedian who posted his crowd work the other day and in the middle of the crowd work he's like, well, this is going nowhere.

[Nicole Byer]

It's like, why are you posting? I don't understand why people post like that.

[Adam Pally]

And then it got a laugh from the crowd because obviously in the moment, that's funny. That's funny. You're saying I'm doing a bad job.

[Nicole Byer]

Then you want me to watch you do a bad job?

[Adam Pally]

Why would you repost that? You had a bad.

[John Gabrus]

Good stuff for the hour.

[Adam Pally]

Put the bad stuff on right on the Internet, backwards.

[Nicole Byer]

It's wild. Wild.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah. Well, you're the best. And we Love you.

[Nicole Byer]

Hey, thanks for having me.

[John Gabrus]

I'll see you at the pole club, baby.

[Adam Pally]

Will you have us at the pole club?

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, come to the pole club.

[John Gabrus]

The ral.

[Adam Pally]

You have us on yours too.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes.

[Adam Pally]

I just love you so much.

[John Gabrus]

Can we talk to you longer? Why won't you date us?

[Adam Pally]

I haven't seen anything either.

[John Gabrus]

I'm newcoming.

[Nicole Byer]

I'm new.

[Adam Pally]

Coming. Thank you. I love being on the road with Nicole more than any. Like, doing a Torco run when we were younger with Nicole is one of the most fun weekends.

[John Gabrus]

She works hard and parties hards. I don't know why.

[Adam Pally]

She works hard and parties hards just like us.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah, well, she. She certainly vibes with us. And we are also like all master travelers and who are.

[Adam Pally]

And love to do bits and love.

[John Gabrus]

To get blasted and we pretty much. I don't know how much wellness is in there for listeners after you hear that, but pole dancing, Great workout. Very exciting.

[Adam Pally]

Nicole is like the. Nicole is like the devil on our shoulder.

[John Gabrus]

Yes.

[Adam Pally]

She kind of knows that too.

[John Gabrus]

She kind of know.

[Adam Pally]

And she brings it out of me. Like, you know, she's like one of those friend. Nicole's like that friend that, you know, where everyone would be like, oh, here comes buyer. I may wake up on a. On a boat.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

You know, and.

[John Gabrus]

And we are that friend to other people. So it's fun that we have one of those.

[Adam Pally]

Exactly.

[John Gabrus]

Yeah. Nicole, after a power hour in Thanksgiving eve. Power hour, she poured gray goose directly into my mom's mouth at karaoke.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah. I mean, that's. She's the greatest. She is the.

[John Gabrus]

My mom is like, do you remember when Nicole.

[Adam Pally]

Why don't you marry Nicole?

[John Gabrus]

Yeah. Like, I'll tell you why.

[Adam Pally]

She pours pocket at my throat.

[John Gabrus]

She's turned me down seven times. I am also marri. That was a good time, man.

[Adam Pally]

So fun.

[John Gabrus]

Well, do me a favor. Stay alive.

[Adam Pally]

I'll try.

[John Gabrus]

You have been listening to Staying Alive with John Gabris and Adam Pali, a smartless media production in association with SiriusXM.

[Adam Pally]

Produced by Devin Tory Bryant and Anne Harris. Engineered and edited by Devin Tory Bryant, who also wrote the music.

[John Gabrus]

Associate producer and video producer is Maddie McCann. Social media producer Tommy Galgano.

[Adam Pally]

Assistant engineer, Kyle McGraw. Special thanks to Jared O' Connell at SiriusXM.

[John Gabrus]

Executive producers are John Gabris. Ooh, me. Adam Pally. Ooh, you. Will Arnett, Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, Richard Corson and Bernie Kaminsky. Do us a favor. Just rate and review the podcast. It actually helps.

[Adam Pally]

Just so everyone knows, we do not have a discord.

[John Gabrus]

Don't reach out to us.

[Adam Pally]

See us on the street. Walk the other way or you'll catch hands.

[John Gabrus]

Oh, Buyer, you're the best. And I think the listeners got a lot of great tips on how to be wasted on a plane.

[Adam Pally]

Smart.

[Nicole Byer]

Less media.