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Alice
Hello.
Amanda Weldon
Welcome to Stories Podcast. I'm your host, Amanda Weldon. Today's story is a chapter from Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, a classic novel written for you by Lewis Carroll.
Narrator
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March Hare
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Amanda Weldon
Check out the podcast Mysteries about True Histories Tune in each week as best friends Max and Molly are faced with their latest time traveling quest. It's up to them to use their math and logic skills to keep the troublesome trolls from causing chaos throughout space and time. Can they crack the code before time runs out? Join in on the fun every Thursday to find out, Follow mysteries about True Histories on Apple Podcasts or wherever you find your podcasts.
Narrator
Thanks.
Amanda Weldon
Enjoy the episode Alice's Adventures in Wonderland.
March Hare
A Mad Tea Party.
Dormouse
There was a.
March Hare
Table set out under a tree in front of the house, and the March Hare and the Hatter were having tea at it. A Dormouse was sitting between them, fast asleep, and the other two were using it as a cushion, resting their elbows on it and talking over its head. Very uncomfortable for the Dormouse, thought Alice. Only as it's sleeping. I suppose it doesn't mind. The table was a large one, but the three were all crowded together at one corner of it.
Hatter
No room, no room.
March Hare
They cried out when they saw Alice coming. There's plenty of room, said Alice indignantly, and she sat down in a large armchair at one end of the table. Have some wine, the March Hare said in an encouraging tone. Alice looked all round the table, but there was nothing on it but tea. I don't see any wine, she remarked. Well, there isn't any, said the March Hare. Then it wasn't very civil of you to offer it, said Alice angrily.
Cheshire Cat
It wasn't very civil of you to.
March Hare
Sit down without being invited, said the March Hare. I didn't know it was your table, said Alice. It's laid for a great many more than three.
Alice
Your hair wants cutting, said the Hatter.
March Hare
He had been looking at Alice for some time with great curiosity, and this was his first speech. You should learn not to make personal remarks, alice said with some severity. It's very rude. The Hatter opened his eyes very wide on hearing this, but all he said.
Hatter
Was, why is a raven like a writing desk?
March Hare
Come, we shall have some fun now, thought Alice. I'm glad they've begun asking riddles. I believe I can guess that, she added aloud.
Cheshire Cat
Do you mean that you think you can find out the answer to it?
March Hare
Said the March Hare. Exactly so, said Alice.
Cheshire Cat
Then you should say what you mean.
March Hare
The March Hare went on. I do, Alice hastily replied. At least. At least I mean what I say. That's the same thing, you know.
Alice
Not the same thing a bit, said the Hatter.
Hatter
Why, you might just as well say that I see what I eat is the same thing as I eat what I see.
Cheshire Cat
You might just as well say, added.
March Hare
The March Hare, that I like what.
Cheshire Cat
I get is the same thing as I get what I like.
Dormouse
You might just as well say, added.
March Hare
The dormouse, which seemed to be talking in its sleep, that I breathe when.
Dormouse
I sleep is the same thing as I sleep when I breathe.
Alice
It is the same thing with you, said the Hatter.
March Hare
And here the conversation dropped, and the party sat silent for a minute while Alice thought over all she could remember about ravens and writing desks, which wasn't much. The Hatter was the first to break the silence.
Hatter
What day of the month is it?
March Hare
He said, turning to Alice. He had taken his watch out of his pocket and was looking at it uneasily, shaking it every now and then and holding it to his ear. Alice considered a little, and then said, the fourth.
Hatter
Two days.
Alice
Wrong, sighed the Hatter.
Hatter
I told you butter wouldn't suit the.
March Hare
Works, he added, looking angrily at the March Hare. It was the best butter, the March Hare meekly replied.
Hatter
Yes, but some crumbs must have got.
Alice
In as well, the Hatter grumbled.
Hatter
You shouldn't have put it in with the bread knife.
March Hare
The March Hare took the watch and looked at it gloomily. Then he dipped it into his cup of tea and looked at it again, but he could think of nothing better to say than his first remark.
Cheshire Cat
It was the best butter, you know.
March Hare
Alice had been looking over his shoulder with some curiosity. What a funny watch, she remarked. It tells the day of the month and doesn't tell what o'clock it is.
Hatter
Why should it?
March Hare
Muttered the Hatter.
Hatter
Does your watch tell you what year it is?
March Hare
Of course not, alice replied very readily. But that's because it stays the same year for such a long time together.
Alice
Which is just the case with mine, said the Hatter.
March Hare
Alice felt dreadfully puzzled. The Hatter's remark seemed to her to have no sort of meaning in it, and yet it was certainly English. I don't quite understand you, she said, as Politely as she could.
Hatter
The Dormouse is asleep again, said the.
March Hare
Hatter, and he poured a little hot tea upon its nose. The Dormouse shook its head impatiently and said, without opening its eyes, of course, of course.
Dormouse
Just what I was going to remark myself.
Hatter
Have you guessed the riddle yet?
March Hare
The Hatter said, turning to Alice again. No, I give it up, Alice replied. What's the answer?
Alice
I haven't the slightest idea, said the Hatter.
March Hare
Nor I, said the March Hare. Alice sighed wearily. I think you might do something better with the time, she said, than wasting it in asking riddles that have no answers.
Hatter
If you knew time as well as.
Alice
I do, said the Hatter, you wouldn't talk about wasting it. It's him.
March Hare
I don't know what you mean, said Alice.
Alice
Of course you don't, the Hatter said.
March Hare
Tossing his head contemptuously.
Hatter
I dare say you never even spoke to Time.
March Hare
Perhaps not, alice cautiously replied. But I know I have to beat time when I learn music.
Alice
Ah, that accounts for it, said the Hatter. He won't stand beating now.
Hatter
If you only kept on good terms with him, he'd do almost anything you liked. With the clock, for instance. Suppose it were 9 o'clock in the morning, just in time to begin lessons. You'd only have to whisper a hint to Time, and round goes the clock in a tinkling. Half past one, half past one. Time for dinner.
Cheshire Cat
I only wish it was, the March.
March Hare
Hare said to itself in a whisper. That would be grand. Certainly, said Alice thoughtfully. But then I shouldn't be hungry for it, you know.
Alice
Not at first, perhaps, said the Hatter.
Hatter
But you could keep it to half past one as long as you liked.
March Hare
Is that the way you manage? Alice asked. The Hatter shook his head mournfully. Not I, he replied.
Hatter
We quarreled last March. Just before he went mad, you know.
March Hare
Pointing with his teaspoon at the March Hare.
Hatter
It was at the great concert given.
Alice
By the Queen of Hearts, and I had to sing Twinkle, twinkle, little bat.
Hatter
How I wonder where you're at. You know the song, perhaps?
March Hare
I've heard something like it, said Alice.
Alice
It goes on, you know, the Hatter.
Hatter
Continued, in this way. Up above the world you fly Like a tea tray in the sky.
March Hare
Twinkle, twinkle, here the dormouse shook itself and began singing in its sleep, Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle. And went on so long that they had to pinch it to make it stop.
Hatter
Well, I'd hardly finished the first verse.
Alice
Said the Hatter, when the Queen bawled out.
Hatter
He's murdering the time. Off with his head.
March Hare
How dreadfully Savage. Exclaimed Alice.
Alice
And ever since that the Hatter went.
March Hare
On in a mournful tone, he won't.
Alice
Do a thing I ask.
Hatter
It's always 6 o'clock now.
March Hare
A bright idea came into Alice's head. Is that the reason so many tea things are put out here? She asked.
Alice
Yes, that's it, said the Hatter with a sigh.
Hatter
It's always tea time, and we've no time to wash the things between whiles.
March Hare
Then you keep moving round, I suppose, said Alice.
Alice
Exactly so, said the Hatter, as the things get used up.
March Hare
But what happens when you come to the beginning? Again? Alice ventured to ask. Suppose we change the subject, The March Hare interrupted, yawning.
Cheshire Cat
I'm getting tired of this. I vote the young lady tells us a story.
March Hare
I'm afraid I don't know one, said Alice, rather alarmed at the proposal. Then the Dormouse shall They both screamed, wake up, Dormouse. And they pinched it on both sides at once. The Dormouse slowly opened its eyes. I wasn't asleep, it said in a hoarse, feeble voice.
Dormouse
I heard every word you fellows were saying.
March Hare
Tell us a story, said the March Hare. Yes, please do, pleaded Alice.
Alice
And be quick about it, added the Hatter, or you'll be asleep again before it's done.
Amanda Weldon
Now for a quick ad break. We'll be back with the rest of the story after this. If you'd like Stories Podcast and other favorite kid Podcasts ad free subscribe to Wondery Kids on Apple Podcasts. This episode of Stories Podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all in one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just launching a new venture or managing a successful business, Squarespace makes it possible to create a beautiful website and engage with your audience. And Squarespace makes it so easy to sell anything from products to content to time, all in one place, all on your terms. With Squarespace payments, onboarding is fast and simple. Get started in just a few clicks and start receiving payments right away. It's even easy to invoice clients and create proposals, estimates, and contracts. Simplify your workflow and manage your business on one platform. Also, Squarespace has integrated SEO tools. Every Squarespace website is optimized to be indexed with meta descriptions, an auto generated sitemap, and more, so you show up more often to more people in global search engine results. Head to squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to launch squarespace.com dragon to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain that's squarespace.com dragon for 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.
Narrator
Thanks. And now back to the story.
Dormouse
Once upon a time, there were three little sisters.
March Hare
The Dormouse began in a great hurry.
Dormouse
And their names were Elsie, Lacey and Tilly, and they lived at the bottom of a well.
March Hare
What did they live on? Said Alice, who always took a great interest in questions of eating and drinking. They lived on treacle, said the Dormouse, after thinking a minute or two. They couldn't have done that, you know, Alice gently remarked. They'd have been ill. So they were, said the Dormouse. Very ill. Alice tried a little to fancy to herself what such an extraordinary way of living would be like, but it puzzled her too much, so she went on, but why did they live at the bottom of a well? Take some more tea, the March Hare said to Alice, very earnestly. I've had nothing yet, Alice replied in an offended tone, so I can't take more.
Alice
You mean you can't take less, said the Hatter.
Hatter
It's very easy to take more than nothing.
March Hare
Nobody asked your opinion, said Alice.
Alice
Who's making personal remarks now?
March Hare
The Hatter asked triumphantly. Alice did not quite know what to say to this, so she helped herself to some tea and bread and butter, and then turned to the Dormouse and repeated her question. Why did they live at the bottom of a well? The Dormouse again took a minute or two to think about it, and then.
Dormouse
Said, it was a treacle well.
March Hare
There's no such thing. Alice was beginning very angrily, but the Hatter and the March Hare went, shh, Shh. And the Dormouse sulkily remarked, if you.
Dormouse
Can'T be civil, you better finish the story for yourself.
March Hare
Please go on, Alice said very humbly. I won't interrupt you again. I dare say they may be one. One indeed, said the Dormouse, indignantly. However, he consented to go on.
Dormouse
And so these three little sisters, they were learning to draw, you know.
March Hare
What did they draw? Said Alice, quite forgetting her promise. Treacle, said the Dormouse, without considering it all this time. I want a clean cup, interrupted the Hatter. Let's all move one place on. He moved on as he spoke, and the Dormouse followed him. The March Hare moved into the Dormouse's place, and Alice, rather unwillingly, took the place of the March Hare. The Hatter was the only one who got any advantage from the change, and Alice was a good deal worse off than before, as the March Hare had just upset the milk jug into his plate. Alice did not wish to offend the dormouse again. So she began, very cautiously. But I don't understand. Where did they draw the treacle from?
Hatter
You can draw water out of a.
Alice
Water well, said the Hatter.
Hatter
So I should think you could draw treacle out of a treacle well, Eh, stupid?
March Hare
But they were in the well, Alice said to the dormouse, not choosing to notice this last remark. Of course they were, said the Dormouse. Well, in this answer so confused poor Alice, that she let the dormouse go on for some time without interrupting it.
Dormouse
They were learning to draw.
March Hare
The dormouse went on yawning and rubbing its eyes, for it was getting very sleepy. And they drew all manner of things, everything that begins with an M. Why with an M? Said Alice.
Cheshire Cat
Why not?
March Hare
Said the March Hare. Alice was silent. The dormouse had closed its eyes by this time and was going off into a doze. But on being pinched by the Hatter, it woke up again with a little shriek and went on. That begins with an M. Such as.
Dormouse
Mouse traps and the moon and memory and muchness. You know, things you say are much of a muchness. Did you ever see such a thing as a drawing of a muchness?
March Hare
Really? Now you ask me, said Alice, very much confused, I don't think.
Alice
Then you shouldn't talk, said the Hatter.
March Hare
This piece of rudeness was more than Alice could bear. She got up in great disgust and walked off. The dormouse fell asleep instantly, and neither of the others took the least notice of her going, though she looked back once or twice, half hoping that they would call after her. The last time she saw them, they were trying to put the dormouse into the teapot. At any rate, I'll never go there again, said Alice as she picked her way through the wood. It's the stupidest tea party I ever was at in all my life. Just as she said this, she noticed that one of the trees had a door leading right into it. That's very curious, she thought, but everything's curious today. I think I may as well go in it at once. And in she went. Once more she found herself in the long hall and close to the little glass table. Now I'll manage Betta this time, she said to herself, and began by taking the little golden key and and unlocking the door that led into the garden. Then she set to work nibbling at the mushroom. She had kept a piece of it in her pocket till she was about a foot high. Then she walked down the little passage. And then she found herself at last in the beautiful garden among the bright flower beds. And the Cool Fountains.
Amanda Weldon
Today's story was Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, a classic novel written for you by Lewis Carroll. It was edited and produced for you by Andrew Martin and performed for you by me, Amanda Weldon. If you would like to support Stories.
Narrator
Podcast you can leave us a five star review on itunes. Check out all of our merch available@storiespodcast.com Shop Commission a special video on Cameo, follow us on Instagram Stories Podcast or simply tell your friends about us. In case you missed it, Dan and I have a new show on Stories rpg. We play games just like Starsworn with all your Max Good name friends and Gigacity Guardians featuring the brilliant Firefly. Click the link in the episode description or go to patreon.com storiesrpg to get ad free episodes, play along games and coloring books. We've already got a bunch of episodes over there so check them out now.
Amanda Weldon
Thanks for listening.
Episode: Alice's Adventures in Wonderland - Chapter 7
Release Date: February 5, 2025
Host/Author: Starglow Media / Wondery
In this enchanting episode of the Stories Podcast, Amanda Weldon brings to life Chapter 7 of Lewis Carroll's beloved classic, "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland." Titled "A Mad Tea Party," this chapter immerses listeners in the whimsical and chaotic world of the Mad Hatter, the March Hare, and the Dormouse. Perfect for children and imaginative families, the episode captures the essence of Wonderland's quirky charm while offering valuable lessons on etiquette, time, and curiosity.
The episode opens with Alice stumbling upon a peculiar tea party set under a tree, where she encounters the March Hare, the Hatter, and a fast asleep Dormouse.
March Hare [01:19]: "A Mad Tea Party."
Alice observes the cramped and uncomfortable setting:
Narrator [01:19]: "The table was a large one, but the three were all crowded together at one corner of it."
As Alice attempts to join the party, tensions rise immediately over seating arrangements and available space.
Hatter [01:48]: "No room, no room."
Alice [01:51]: "There's plenty of room," she replied indignantly.
The Hatter offers her wine despite the lack of any on the table, leading to a humorous scolding from Alice:
Alice [02:23]: "Then it wasn't very civil of you to offer it."
This exchange sets the tone for the episode's blend of politeness and absurdity.
A central theme in this chapter is the elusive riddle posed by the Hatter:
Hatter [02:57]: "Why is a raven like a writing desk?"
Alice's attempts to solve the riddle lead to a deeper discussion about time, reflecting the chaotic nature of Wonderland.
Alice [06:02]: "I don't quite understand you."
Hatter [07:17]: "If you only kept on good terms with him, he'd do almost anything you liked."
The Hatter's frustration with Time reveals his struggles, adding a layer of depth to his character.
Interrupted by an advertisement break, the story resumes with the Dormouse attempting to tell a tale about three little sisters living at the bottom of a well.
Dormouse [12:37]: "Once upon a time, there were three little sisters... And their names were Elsie, Lacey, and Tilly, and they lived at the bottom of a well."
Alice's skepticism about their diet of treacle and the practicality of a treacle well adds humor while highlighting her persistent curiosity.
Alice [12:40]: "They lived on treacle, after thinking a minute or two. They couldn't have done that, you know."
Dormouse [14:27]: "It was a treacle well."
The Dormouse's story becomes increasingly absurd, emphasizing the nonsensical nature of Wonderland.
Frustrated by the endless riddles and nonsensical stories, Alice decides to leave the tea party. She expresses her displeasure:
Alice [15:44]: "Then you shouldn't talk."
Her departure leads her to discover a door in a tree, prompting her to venture further into Wonderland.
Alice [16:02]: "That's the stupidest tea party I ever was at in all my life."
Unlocking the door with a golden key, Alice nibbles on a mushroom to change her size and continues her journey, symbolizing her resilience and adaptability.
Alice [17:25]: "I think I may as well go in it at once."
This episode of Stories Podcast masterfully retells Chapter 7 of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland," blending humor, absurdity, and whimsy to captivate young listeners. Through Alice's interactions with the Mad Tea Party attendees, themes of time, etiquette, and curiosity are explored, offering both entertainment and subtle lessons. Amanda Weldon's engaging narration ensures that listeners are transported into Wonderland, making it an ideal bedtime story for children of all ages.
For families seeking imaginative and screen-free entertainment, this episode stands out as a delightful adaptation of a classic tale. By focusing solely on the story and omitting advertisements and non-content sections, listeners can fully immerse themselves in Alice's adventure without distractions. Whether used during car rides or bedtime routines, Stories Podcast delivers a magical experience that both kids and parents will cherish.