← Stories Podcast: A Bedtime Show for Kids of All Ages
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Amanda Weldon
Hello. Welcome to Stories Podcast. I'm your host, Amanda Weldon. Today's story is called the Fastest Hedgehog Ever, an adaptation of a classic tale written for you by Daniel Hines. We have Stories Podcast merch available@storiespodcast.com shop. We're also on Cameo for all of your personalized video message needs. And don't forget to follow us on Instagram Stories Podcast. If you send us a drawing of your favorite scene or character, we'll share it on our feed. Now, here's a word from our sponsors. Check out the podcast Mysteries About True Histories Tune in each week as best friends Max and Molly are faced with their latest time traveling quest. It's up to them to use their math and logic skills to keep the troublesome trolls from causing chaos throughout space and time. Can they crack the code before time runs out? Join in on the fun every Thursday to find out, Follow Mysteries about True Histories on Apple Podcasts or wherever you find your podcasts. Thanks. Enjoy the episode the Fastest Hedgehog Ever Once upon a time, there lived a hedgehog named Sporks. He lived in a tidy little cottage with his sister Hummy. It was a cottage you'd expect an old aunt with excellent taste to live in, not a pair of hedgehogs. Everything was decorated and full of fresh flowers and old wood. It was nestled among the fields of an old farmer and it was just about harvest time. The sun was warm and hot and seemed to pour like honey all through the day. The wind came in from the east and brought the intoxicating aromas of flowers in bloom. It was a Sunday and all of the animals were out and about, dressed in their nice clothes and milling about the market. They all seemed quite happy, and Sporks and Hummy were quite happy too. As the morning passed, Sporks found himself curious about the state of his turnips. They grew in a big field right next to his cottage, and that wasn't a coincidence. The Hedgehogs loved turnip so much that when they moved out from their parents cottage down the road, they specifically chose the spot. He took a little walk through the turnip patch, happy to see they were nearly ready to harvest. They'd be eating turnip soup by next week at the latest. The thought was a happy one, and he sang a happy little song, thinking about all the cozy meals they'd have in the coming fall. I like soup and I like stew. I like porridge and chowder too. I like foods that swim around and warm me up when I drink them down. I like soup and I like stew, yes, I, yes, I, yes, I do. He had a nice voice for a hedgehog, not at all sharp and spiky, like you might expect. In fact, someone else overheard and called out to Sporks. Nice little song for a nice little morning, they said. It was Niblet, the bunny who lived down the lane. She was checking out her own favorite field, one full of cabbage and carrots. It was a nice little compliment for a nice little hedgehog, but of course Niblet couldn't let it stand at that. She was a fancy sort of rabbit who fancied herself even fancier than she was. It made her very rude to animals she considered beneath her, and the hedgehogs definitely fell into that category. Surprised? So nice a voice can come out of so prickly a face. Sporcks rolled his eyes. He was used to Niblet's mean barbs. I'm just on a walk to check my turnips, he said. No reason to give me trouble. A walk? Ha. Niblets said with a laugh, her long ears twitching merrily along. With legs as short and crooked as yours, I thought you'd have a more fitting hobby. This was obviously quite a rude thing to say, and it cut through even Sporks. Cool. He was sensitive about his legs. He knew they were short and crooked, but they were his legs all the same, and he loved them. You think your legs are better than mine just because they're long and fuzzy? He asked, his anger coming out. I don't think it, said Niblets. The rabbit nose turned up into the air. I know it for a fact. Then, then, then. Spork stammered, trying to think how he might show up. The rude rabbit. Suddenly he came upon the perfect idea. Then let's have a race. Me versus you. A race? I'd leave you in my dust. Why should I bother? We'll make it a bet, said Sporks. The winner gets a silver dollar and a keg of apple cider. Ha. You have a deal, said the Rabbit. Should we start right now? Give me half an hour and meet me back here, said Sporks. I need to have my breakfast if I'm gonna beat a bunny. Have three breakfasts, laughed Niblets. Nothing is gonna make your little ugly legs outrun me. Sporks stomped back to his house and breathed deep and slow to calm down. That rabbit could really split his spines with her nasty attitude. It was time to teach her a lesson. What has you so worked up? Asked his sister, Hummy. Oh my God. Is something wrong with the Turnips. No, the turnips are fine, he said, a little sharper than he meant to. He took another deep breath and tried again. The turnips are good. Great even. It's Niblets the Rabbit. She was out there making fun of our legs again. Oh, she's an old bully, hummy said. Nothing to be done about it. That's where you're wrong, said Sporks. I challenged her to a race. The loser has to give the winner a silver dollar and a keg of cider. A race? Our cider? What were you thinking? Actually, I had a plan for that, said Sporks. He leaned in and whispered his idea to his sister. The longer he whispered, the more she smiled. Finally she gave a big smiley nod and headed out the back door. Now for a quick ad break. We'll be back with the rest of the story after this. If you'd like Stories Podcast and other favorite kid podcasts ad free, subscribe to Wondery Kids on Apple Podcasts. Thanks. And now back to the story. A little later. Sporcks was back on the edge of the fields. Niblets the rabbit was already there, stretching and ready to run. Where should we race? Asked the hare. Shortest, ugliest legs gets to pick the root. The farmer has plowed furrows in the next field over. They're deep and wide enough that we can both run on our own, like lanes in a track. We'll start here and run down the furrows to the far side of the field. First one there is the winner. Sounds good to me, said the rabbit, grooming her fur. This is going to be the easiest race that was ever run. We'll see about that, muttered Sporks. Ready, set, go. Shouted Niblets. And they were off. The rabbit took off like a bolt of lightning, like a well oiled machine. Like a whirlwind from the heavens. She flew down the furrow, a white brown blur, kicking up dirt behind her big powerful feet. Sporcks, on the other hand, took three trundling steps forward. Now if you don't know what trundling means, let me tell you. Trundle means to move slow and heavy. Wheelbarrows, Trundle and big beetles, Trundle and hedgehogs. Unfortunately for racing, also trundle. So Sporcks took three big trundling steps forward and then he stopped. And then he smiled and took three big steps backwards. At the other end of the furrow, Niblets the rabbit came to a stop in a great skidding cloud of dirt. She was panting and smiling like a madman. And of course she was, because here's what she didn't know. It's a secret that I can tell you now. Sporks and his sister Hummy had made a plan in their cottage. They knew the rabbit didn't care much for hedgehogs and couldn't tell one apart from the other. So while Sporks and Niblets had prepared for their race, Hummy had snuck out of the cottage and made her way to the end of the furrow. There she waited for the rabbit to arrive. When she heard her come skidding to a stop, she called out a good impression of her brother's panting voice. Good running, she said. But I'm already here. I guess I win the race. Niblets peered over the furrow and was shocked to see the hedgehog there, waiting. What? How? I don't believe you. Sorry to disappoint you, said Hummy. But she didn't look sorry at all. In fact, she was loving getting some revenge for all the rabbit's mean remarks. Let's run it again. Double the bet this time. Fine by me, said Hummy. You call the start. The rabbit counted down from three and took off again, once more a lightning fast blur blazing down the furrow. Hummy smiled and yawned, waiting for the rabbit to disappear before she turned and snuck off back to the cottage. The rabbit ran for all she was worth, paws pounding and heart hammering and and ears blown back in the breeze. She got to the end of the furrow, back near the cabbage where they had started, and skidded to a sloppy stop. Hey, you finally made it. Said Sporks, who had been waiting at the end of the furrow. Nice of you to join me. Better late than never. But I guess we can't all have such amazing legs as me. You're. You're incredible. Said Niblets, still trying to catch her breath. I don't know how you did it, but you really must have flown. It's like you could be in two places at once. At this point, Sporks did feel a little bit guilty. What he had done was technically cheating, even if it was for the good cause of teaching the rabbit a lesson. But still. I'll go get your winnings, Niblet said sadly, thinking of all the cider she wouldn't get to drink. Aw, don't worry about all that, said Sporks, waving a little leg generously. But. But you won. Don't you want to collect your winnings? You know, Niblets, said Sporks laying a hand on her shoulder, being careful of his quills. Of course I don't want to take anything from you. All I want is your respect. My respect? Asked the Rabbit. I don't understand. You give me a hard time about my legs a lot, and you kind of just generally act like you're better than me. But we live in the same fields. We're nearly neighbors. Don't you think it would be a lot nicer if we could just get along? I'm really that rude to you? Asked the rabbit. Only every single time we talk, said Sporks. But his voice was gentle and his smile was kind. I guess I didn't realize how awful I was being. I feel just terrible. Sporks, I'm so sorry. I forgive you, said Sporks. As long as you mean it, we'll be good. No, no, Asked Sporks. I meant no. You're letting me off too easy. I want to make it up to you. She looked around, her pink nose twitching. My carrots and cabbage came in really nice this year. I'd love to have you and your sister over for dinner. Tell me, do you like soup and stew? Sporks licked his lips. Friend, he said, I love soup and stew more than anything. Well, then come over later tonight and I'll feed you until you can't eat another bite. You got a deal, spork said. And that night he and the rabbit and his sister had a lovely dinner together. By the end of the night, they were fast friends and the rabbit never said an unkind word to them again. It just goes to show you, you should never be mean to someone just because you think you're better at something. Kindness goes a lot further and makes new friends, too. What's better than that? The End Today's story the Fastest Hedgehog Ever, was an adaptation of a classic tale written for you by Daniel Hines. It was edited and produced for you by Andrew Martin and performed for you by me, Amanda Weldon. If you would like to support Stories podcast, you can leave us a five star review on iTunes. Check out all of our merch available@storiespodcast.com Shop Commission a special video on Cameo. Follow us on Instagram storiespodcast or simply tell your friends about us. In case you missed it, Dan and I have a new show on Stories rpg. We play games just like Starsworn with all your Max Goodname friends and Gigacity Guardians featuring the brilliant Firefly. Click the link in the episode description or go to patreon.com storiesrpg to get ad free episodes. Play along games and coloring books. We've already got a bunch of episodes over there, so check them out now. Thanks for listening.