Stories Podcast: “The Weirdos”

Host: Amanda Weldon
Writer: Daniel Hines
Date: October 3, 2025

Overview

In this whimsical, original story inspired by English folklore, the peaceful town of Hamwich faces a royal visit that threatens to upend their simple lives. To preserve their community’s independence, the townsfolk scheme to appear as strange and off-putting as possible during the King’s inspection. Hilarity ensues as the people of Hamwich commit to their roles, leaving listeners with a message about the value of authenticity, community, and a little bit of cleverness.

Key Discussion Points & Story Beats

1. Setting the Scene

[03:00–05:10]

• Hamwich is a small, welcoming town in a remote, lush forest.
• The community is self-governed, with no official leader. Decisions are made collectively.
• Central town figures include Auntie (the teacher), Reverend Rev, and the innkeepers Mr. and Mrs. Sanders.

2. Arrival of the Royal Messenger

[05:11–07:00]

• The King’s messenger, proud and dismissive, arrives on a gold-trimmed horse with two soldiers.

• Announces plans for a new royal hunting road, expected taxes, and an impending visit from the King.

• The townsfolk are concerned about losing autonomy and the potential burdens the King’s presence would bring.

  “No mayor here, and definitely no lord.” – Auntie [05:47]
  “We all come together and vote on anything that needs voting. But we’re a small community, there’s really not much that comes up.” – Rev [05:53]

3. Hamwich's Plan to Protect Their Home

[07:01–09:20]

• Emergency town meeting at the inn. Worries about taxes and servitude abound.

• Auntie proposes they act “a little crazy” to drive the King away, a plan met with growing enthusiasm.

• The townsfolk, united in purpose, prepare peculiar and silly acts to showcase on the King’s arrival.

  “Well, the king is coming to inspect our town next week…what if we were a bunch of weirdos?” – Auntie [08:55]

4. Royal Visit & The 'Weird' Traditions

[12:11–20:55]

A. The Fish Dunking Tradition
[13:10–14:45]

• The schoolchildren and Auntie emerge, chanting “Fish! Fish! Fish!” Auntie holds up a live fish.

• She claims the fish was “badly behaved” and will be “punished by drowning it in the river.”

• The King, baffled, witnesses the “ceremony” as the fish is released.

  “Drowning a fish. That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.” – The King [14:10]
  “It’s a town tradition. These nasty fish deserve it.” – Auntie [14:13]

B. The Bird Pen Fiasco
[15:05–16:00]

• Rev runs from the church as his flock of doves escapes.

• Townsfolk attempt to corral a dove with a pen—without a top.

• The King observes this and is further confused when Rev insists “the birds would hate” a roof.

  “A birdcage with no top?…And that man is a reverend?” – The King [15:53]
  “The birds would hate that.” – Rev [15:58]

C. The Cheese-Rolling Dinner Selection
[16:30–20:15]

• The entire town gathers at the inn for “dinner time.”

• Mr. Sanders presents huge wheels of cheese; the town chooses dinner by rolling the cheeses down a hill, chanting and cheering as if it’s a race.

• The wheel that reaches the bottom first is chosen for dinner (this time, Parmesan wins!).

  “So, is this a special occasion?” – The King [19:20]
  “Nope. This is how we decide on dinner every night. Why, do you do something different?” – Rev [19:22]

5. Aftermath & The King’s Departure

[20:15–21:50]

• The King, unnerved and exasperated by the “weirdos” of Hamwich, decides to move on to another town.

• Hamwich celebrates their triumph and the preservation of their way of life.

  “It’s full of weirdos.” – The King [20:35]
  “We did it. We get to keep our little town just like it is.” – Auntie [21:16] “To the weirdos!” – Mr. & Mrs. Sanders [21:29]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “What if we were a bunch of weirdos?” – Auntie [08:55]
  (The heart of the town’s plan—a clever approach to self-preservation.)

• “Drowning a fish. That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.” – The King [14:10]
  (Capturing the King’s mounting disbelief.)

• “This is just how we pick which one to eat…You eat all of that for dinner? All that cheese for dinner?” – The King and Auntie [17:00–17:45]
  (The cheese-rolling race, a highlight of silliness and community.)

• “Nope. This is how we decide on dinner every night. Why, do you do something different?” – Rev [19:22]
  (Delivering the perfect punchline.)

• "To the weirdos!" – Mr. & Mrs. Sanders [21:29]
  (Celebrating the town's unity and eccentricity.)

Timeline of Important Segments

| Timestamp | Segment | |-----------|----------------------------------------------| | 03:00 | Intro to Hamwich and its people | | 05:11 | Messenger arrives, town's dilemma revealed | | 07:40 | Town meeting and hatching the “weirdo” plan | | 12:11 | The King's arrival and so-called inspection | | 13:10 | Fish dunking spectacle | | 15:05 | Bird pen and top-less cage farce | | 16:30 | Cheese wheel race for dinner | | 20:15 | King leaves, town celebrates |

Tone & Language

The story is told with warmth, humor, and gentle wit. The language is clear and lighthearted, perfectly suited for children and families. The clever banter, silly antics, and communal spirit of Hamwich shine throughout, inviting listeners to revel in the joy of being a little different.

Summary

“The Weirdos” is a delightful tale of small-town cleverness and camaraderie. Faced with the threat of royal domination, the people of Hamwich save their home by proudly showcasing their quirks. Ultimately, the story champions the power of unity, creativity, and embracing one’s uniqueness. For parents and children listening together, it’s both fun and inspiring—a reminder that there’s value in standing out and working together as a community.