Alligator Droppings/Bees in the Ballot Box

Summary

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Story Pirates: "Alligator Droppings / Bees in the Ballot Box"

Date: November 13, 2025
Hosts: Story Pirates Ensemble
Episode Theme:
This episode of Story Pirates delivers two kid-created stories—one zany royal adventure involving “alligator droppings” and another about an election invaded by bees. The Story Pirates crew embarks on a chaotic road trip, filled with surreal comedy, friendly rivalries (with their new nemesis: the Evil Robot Story Pirates), and lively story discussions, all while inspiring young listeners to value creativity, democracy, and the wild power of imagination.

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Road Trip Kickoff and Robot Story Pirates Encounter

[02:13–06:13]

Key Points:

• The Story Pirates retrofit their legendary ship, the Tidal Wave, for a road trip to Storyteller Con, evoking nostalgia about its many magical upgrades.
• Suddenly, they’re confronted by their new adversaries: the “Evil Robot Story Pirates” who arrive in a fancy RV and taunt the humans, leading to playful banter about vehicle envy and podcast intros.

Notable Quotes:

• “But all those transformations sure left their mark on the old girl. All her battle scars commemorating our many adventures have left the tidal wave looking… a little, well, weird.”—Lee ([03:13])
• Robot Story Pirates' show intro:
  “Where we take stories written by kids… and fix them by turning them into sensible short stories with clear instruction on practical behavior and logical thinking.” ([05:55])

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Story #1: Alligator Droppings

[06:26–14:12]
Story by Jocelyn, age 10, Ontario

Story Summary:

A bored royal couple, desperate for a new breakfast, challenge their staff for ever more creative dishes—until an enigmatic chef suggests the unthinkable: alligator droppings. A wild, swampy, slapstick adventure ensues with armor, nets, and a rubber band slingshot, all culminating in the Queen collecting actual alligator droppings. The finale blurs metaphor and reality, with the royals unwittingly consuming their bizarre breakfast and musing about lessons (but never really learning one).

Memorable Moments:

• The surreal menu: from “pancakes with diamond cut oats and truffles,” to “waffles in the shape of your extended family tree,” to “scrambled dodo egg quiche served by a living dodo.”
• The Chef’s deadpan weirdness: “That’s because I do not cook like any of the chefs you have seen.”—Strange Chef ([08:41])
• The ultimate realization:
  “So poop. We’re eating poop.”—Queen, deadpan ([13:55])
• On lessons: “Do you think there’s a lesson to be learned?” “I’ll talk about it.”—([14:09])

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Road Trip Antics & Storyteller Values

[14:20–25:01]

Key Points:

• The robots and pirates argue over whose podcast style is better and set off for Storyteller Con—robots choosing efficiency; pirates, quirky adventure.
• The pirates hit the road, dealing with the hilarious chaos of group travel: forgetting headphones, bathroom breaks, cooking beans in inappropriate places, seat disputes, and even a narwhal guest.
• A trip-saving moment comes when they stop at a truly weird roadside attraction—the world’s biggest ball of used tissues, which they ultimately appreciate as symbolic of their love for the weird and wonderful.

Notable Quotes & Highlights:

• “If we, the Story Pirates, can’t appreciate how utterly weird this nauseating roadside attraction is, then we’re no better than robots.”—Lee ([24:03])
• “Do you think it might taste like a meatball?” “Peter, no.”—([24:48])

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Story #2: Bees in the Ballot Box

[25:03–32:40]
Story by Trevor, age 9, Virginia

Story Summary:

For his ninth birthday, Trevor gets his wish: the voting age is lowered, and he heads to vote for the first time. But the ballot box contains not just ballots—but an entire swarm of talking bees voting under threat from their undemocratic queen. Trevor gives an impassioned speech about true democracy and convinces the bees to vote from the heart, toppling the Queen’s rule (with a little help from bee spray). Trevor saves democracy—and the bees. The story ends on a note of cake and restored civic pride.

Memorable Quotes:

• “Voting for Queen Bee because she tells you to vote for her means throwing away your opportunity.”—Trevor ([29:43])
• “I want to visit a hummingbird feeder. I want to open a Roth IRA.”—Bee, dreaming of freedom ([30:09])
• “You can’t defeat me with your silly elections. I am a monarch, and your futile attempts at democracy mean nothing to me!"—Queen Bee ([31:31])
• The bees’ vote for Ross Perot adds an absurd, grown-up wink.

---

Interview: Trevor on Voting

[32:55–35:19]

Key Takeaways:

• Trevor (author of "Bees in the Ballot Box") explains voting in kid terms, why participating matters, and how to handle disappointment when your candidate loses.
• He wishes more family decisions—like dessert—were decided democratically.

Notable Exchange:

• Lee: “Let’s say that I am a person that votes and the person I vote for loses… How am I supposed to deal with that?” Trevor: “You’re supposed to just let it slide. Just let it slide.” ([33:58])

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StoryLove: Celebrating Even More Kid Stories

[35:39–46:30]

Army That Couldn’t Army – by Lucas (age 6, Michigan)

• A twist: an army that only breakdances. Instead of fighting, they out-dance an evil knight.
  • “Spinning on your head and lifting yourself up with one arm—crazy advanced, especially your left arm!”—Nimini ([37:23])
  • Panel reflects on the welcoming, silly nature of dance battles. ([38:01])

Adventures of Evil Pancake Pants and the Question Mark Agency – by Holland (10) and Brightly (8), Utah

• Wild plot: Pancake-villain in heart-shaped undies, a hot dog Lamborghini chase, and a baker just wanting her bread.
  • “I just wanted my bread!”—the unlucky baker ([41:18])
  • Lots of laughs over the bizarre vehicle and the mysterious Pancake backflip.

Story Backwards the – by Calvin (11, Virginia)

• A story told entirely in backward syntax—Yoda-style, Shakespearean and surprisingly coherent.
  • “It's giving Shakespeare, honestly…I wasn’t expecting [the backward phrases] to make as much sense as they did.”—Nimini ([44:51])
  • The group tries their own backward sentences for fun.

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Episode Wrap-Up

[46:46–47:41]

Key Points:

• Listeners are encouraged to submit stories and check out even more StoryLove content online.
• The hosts express gratitude for the young writers and emphasize staying creative and kind.

Notable Quote:

• “All of them were amazing today. To read all of today's story Love stories yourself, just head to storypirates.com…”—Lee ([46:30])

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Post-Episode Gag

[48:54–49:16]

• Peter tries to secretly eat the giant ball of used tissues “just in case it tastes like a meatball,” but is foiled by Lee.

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Notable Episode Takeaways

• Creativity Has No Limits: The stories, whether featuring dancing armies, metaphor-muddled royalty, or voting bees, celebrate unrestrained imagination.
• Democracy and Teamwork: “Bees in the Ballot Box” uses humor to open a conversation about voting, fairness, and using your voice—even if you’re a bee.
• Everyone’s Welcome: StoryLove showcases that every kind of kid story—wacky, backwards, or simply sweet—has a place.

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [02:13] Ship transformations & Robot Rivalry
• [06:26] Story #1: Alligator Droppings (by Jocelyn)
• [14:20] Road trip chaos & Tissues landmark
• [25:03] Story #2: Bees in the Ballot Box (by Trevor)
• [32:55] Interview: Trevor on Voting
• [35:39] StoryLove: Three unique kid stories & panel reactions
• [46:46] Wrap-up and listener call-to-action
• [48:54] Peter’s tissue ball escapade

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Tone & Language:
Playful, irreverent, and fueled by the boundless creativity and sincerity of kids’ storytelling, with the Story Pirates riffing sympathetically and joyfully on each tale.

---

Transcript

[A]

Lemonade.

[B]

Hey, grownups. Lee here. Welcome back to episode two of season eight. Before we start, I'd like to take just a minute here before the episode starts to ask for your help with finishing the season. We want to be honest with our listeners that it is a really challenging time right now for educational media providers like Story Pirates and in. Unless we're able to raise more funds, this season could unfortunately be a short one. So right now, we're asking for your help in a new way. We're offering, for the first time, personalized videos from us to you. That's right. For your donation, we'll send you or your kids or whoever in your life you think will appreciate it. Probably be your kids. A personalized video saying, hello, happy birthday, happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, whatever. You can choose a video from me or Pet Megan or Nimini or Eric or even Rolo or Smitty. This is the only time we've ever offered this, and we're not going to be offering it again anytime soon. So this is your chance. Get a video for that special imaginative kid in your life and help the Story Pirates finish our season. And if you're hearing all of this and you have more significant resources to spare, we're looking for some larger patrons for who may want to have a conversation with us about becoming credited producers on the show. If that sounds like you, drop us a line, you can do that and get your personalized video [e-mail] support. You can also find that link in the show notes. Okay, thanks for listening and thanks again for all your support. It means the world to us. Onto the show after a few more words for the grownups.

[A]

All right, everyone, thank you for meeting me out here on the beach. Before we can start our road trip to Storyteller Con, I have to switch the ship to road trip mode. I honestly don't remember all the features I built into this, so we should probably stand back.

[B]

Nimini's right. Safety first. Let's walk further up the beach and we can get a nice full view of our ship, the good old Tidal wave. Wow, look at it. Who'd have thought, way back in season one, when I bought this ship on ebay and tricked the rest of the pirates into setting sail with me, that it would soon be retrofitted with Viking magic to make it fly, then secretly modified for intergalactic space travel, then pressurized for the deep sea, then fitted with a drill to burrow through the earth, then impounded in New York City and finally sent through a Magical painting and back onto the sea.

[C]

I actually did think that.

[B]

But all those transformations sure left their mark on the old girl. All her battle scars commemorating our many adventures have left the tidal wave looking.

[A]

A little, well, weird.

[B]

Yes, Rachel, the ship is indeed very weird. But then again, so are we.

[A]

All right, everyone, ready for the next transformation?

[B]

Let's do it.

[A]

Switching to road trip mode in 3, 2, 1.

[D]

Whoa.

[C]

Sails are folding in and the anchor is rising up.

[E]

A giant windshield is coming up on the deck. A convertible roof is enclosing the deck under the bucket thingy.

[C]

And monster truck wheels are coming out of the sides.

[B]

And is that a retractable tail fin, flame throwing engine exhaust pipes and racing stripes?

[A]

You know it.

[C]

Wow. I wish our new arch nemeses, the evil robot Dory Pirates, could see this. I bet they'd be so jealous.

[A]

Whoa.

[C]

What's that?

[B]

A giant RV just burst through the trees and onto the beach.

[C]

Who's driving it? Hello, human story pirates. Hello evil robot story Pirates.

[E]

Were you saying something about us being jealous of that incredibly impractical vehicle? Don't make us laugh.

[B]

Hahaha. Too late. We are all laughing.

[E]

We are laughing.

[C]

Maybe we could give you a ride in our new road vehicle. Do you like it?

[A]

Is that a deluxe WinneBagle Air Screamer 7000 camper and RV?

[C]

Jealous?

[B]

No. Do you want to hear what the horn sounds like? Okay, I'm a little jealous.

[D]

I love Story Pirates.

[F]

It just filled me up with joy.

[B]

My mom loves the jokes.

[F]

Yo yo Matcha. It made me very proud about my writings. Cheesecake, pumpkin pie, apple pie or chocolate cake. I definitely think I can be more creative now. I'm the champion.

[D]

The Story Pirates.

[B]

Welcome back to the Story Pirates podcast, everybody.

[C]

Where we take stories written by kids.

[E]

And turn them into sketch comics, comedy and songs.

[B]

You call that an intro? Take a listen to the intro for our podcast.

[E]

Your podcast.

[B]

Welcome to the new Story Pirates Podcast Humans.

[C]

Where we take stories written by kids.

[E]

And fix them by turning them into sensible short stories with clear instruction on practical behavior and logical thinking and songs.

[B]

We are going to call it the Story Pirates Podcast.

[C]

What? You can't call it that. We're the Story Pirates.

[B]

And so are we.

[A]

But the name is copyrighted, right?

[B]

Lee Leigh. Uh, hey, how about we do a story? And here to introduce it is the author.

[F]

Hi, my Name's Jocelyn. I'm 10 years old and I live in Ontario. This is my story. Alligator droppings.

[E]

It is morning, my king.

[G]

Yes, I suppose it is, my queen.

[E]

The start of another day being the Two most important souls in the land.

[B]

How boring.

[G]

I'll say.

[H]

Good morning, sir, madam.

[G]

Good morning, servant whose name I can't remember. I didn't say I wanted to remember.

[H]

Of course. What would the Royal Majesty's like for breakfast?

[G]

Something new.

[H]

You say that every morning. And it's getting harder.

[G]

I don't think we ask for excuses. We ask for something new.

[H]

I thought that might be the case. Breakfast makers.

[E]

Your Majesties, I have prepared for you buttermilk pancakes with diamond cut oats and truffles.

[C]

Yawn.

[A]

Next.

[C]

I have made waffles in the shape of your extended family tree with spiked horn melon carved figurines representing each member of your extended family.

[E]

You want me to eat my mother in law? No, thank you.

[C]

But when you wind them up, they dance and whistle.

[A]

Next.

[E]

Oh, you, Highnesses, I have prepared a scrambled dodo egg quiche served to you by a living dodo bird who's been trained to be a waiter.

[G]

A toto bird serving a toto bird egg. That's very unsettling.

[D]

No, but.

[E]

But if you.

[B]

No, you're right.

[E]

Well, this was amiss. No, you don't get to read the specials. Let's go.

[H]

I'm sorry, my King, but that's the last of our breakfast makers.

[G]

Really?

[C]

Well?

[B]

Well what?

[G]

Out with it.

[H]

There is one more. He is quite odd, though.

[E]

We do not care.

[B]

Okay. Hello.

[G]

You do not look at all like any of the other chefs we have seen.

[B]

That's because I do not cook like any of the chefs you have seen.

[E]

No, I think it's because of the very dark sunglasses and bunny ears that you're wearing.

[G]

Yes. You are creepy, disgusting, and all around unpleasant.

[H]

I thought you might say that. Out you go.

[E]

We love it.

[A]

Huh?

[G]

This man scares us. How refreshing. Tell us, what will you serve us for breakfast?

[B]

I think for breakfast you should have alligator droppings. What?

[E]

That's outrageous. You can't expect us to eat the droppings.

[G]

Wait, wait, wait. My Queen, don't you see? He doesn't mean to serve us literal alligator droppings.

[D]

He doesn't?

[G]

No, it's a metaphor. The fear and disgust we feel right now is all a part of the experience.

[D]

Yes, of course.

[E]

Okay, strange chef, we will try your alligator droppings.

[C]

Ooh.

[G]

Very good.

[B]

Follow me. Here we are.

[G]

This is an alligator swamp. Where else do you expect to find alligator droppings?

[E]

He's really committing to the metaphor.

[G]

How cheeky. What's next? First, let me get the supplies we'll need out of my bag. Wow, That's a Lot of stuff to gather. Alligator droppings. You will need five stakes. These stilts, beans, eight nets, a set of armor, a chestnut, a rubber band, rocks. And 19 books. I have many questions. No time. The queen will fetch the alligator droppings.

[E]

Why me?

[G]

I said no time.

[E]

Okay.

[D]

Here.

[G]

Put on this utility belt. It's designed to carry all these things.

[E]

Let's do this.

[G]

And finally, the rubber band goes here.

[E]

How do I look, darling?

[G]

Like a beautiful queen on stilts in a swamp. You know the plan, right?

[E]

Yes, but can you repeat it?

[G]

No time. Come on, King. She's on her own. Good luck, darling. Do you think we'll ever see her again? In no time.

[E]

Alright, Queen. Time to find some literal alligator droppings so you can eat some metaphor. Metaphorical alligator droppings. Just gonna wade into this swampy water on these stilts. There's an alligator. I'll have to distract it, as the strange chef instructed me. Steak, books, a chess set. And the beans.

[D]

It worked.

[E]

Now to grab those droppings with one of these eight nets. I'll just scoop them up and I'll be on my way. Take this. Alligator net attack.

[D]

Oh, no.

[E]

It ain't my net. Time for plan B. Using the rubber band and rocks as a slingshot. Take this. I did it. This is already the best breakfast I've ever had in my life. Back to the king.

[G]

You know, between that and the endless fiefdom bickering, sometimes I'm just like, do I even wanna be king?

[C]

Y', know?

[G]

Not really. Exactly. Right. You get me.

[E]

I did it. I got the alligator droppings.

[B]

Wow.

[G]

I was sure you were gonna be eaten.

[E]

Let us to the kitchens.

[G]

And a little of this.

[C]

And a dash of that.

[H]

Your Majesties, I'm so glad you made it back to the castle in one piece. But about this meal, I'm not sure.

[G]

That you know what you're talking about. Yes, that's clear.

[E]

Today was the best day of my life. And if we'd listened to you, it would have never happened.

[B]

But breakfast is served.

[F]

Ooh.

[C]

Oh, wow.

[G]

The aroma of this dish is quite something.

[E]

Very pungent. Almost smells like actual alligator droppings.

[G]

That's because it is.

[C]

Right?

[G]

Sure it is.

[B]

It literally is.

[E]

Right, right, right, right, right. Here we go.

[H]

Please don't.

[G]

Please do. This is delicious.

[E]

The best breakfast I've ever had. Sea servant. I bet you feel like a fool now.

[G]

Yes. And the flavor of this breakfast is.

[D]

Yes, it's.

[E]

Oh, it's. I can't put my finger on it.

[G]

Yeah, it's like, ooh, it's you know, it's sort of like. It's alligator droppings. Yes. Yes, that's it. This is alligator droppings. Like, literally.

[C]

Oh.

[E]

So poop. We're eating poop.

[G]

I'll be on my way, then.

[B]

Goodbye.

[G]

Do you think there's a lesson to be learned?

[E]

I'll talk about it.

[D]

But the end.

[C]

See?

[B]

Evil robot story pirates. Even you have to admit that that story was pretty awesome.

[E]

Far too creative for our tast. Well, who cares what you think?

[B]

We will tell you who the many crowds at StorytellerCon. Our keynote address has been optimized using AI, digital focus groups, and math to be 99.99% persuasive. By the time we are done, no one will want to listen to stories written by kids ever again.

[E]

Now, if you'll excuse us, we are going to start our road trip on the most practical route, the highway, making sure to skip all of the unimportant small stops along the way.

[C]

But we can still stop for snacks, right?

[E]

No, Robot Peter, we do not eat.

[C]

Oh, right. I forgot. Wouldn't hurt to try, though.

[B]

Well, we're not taking the highway. We're gonna do the opposite. We're gonna take the longest route possible, and we're gonna like it.

[C]

Whoa.

[E]

Lee, is that a good idea?

[B]

Yes. All right. Well, we hope you have a terrible time. Robot Eric, let's roll.

[C]

I am hungry, though.

[E]

Lee, are we really going to take the long way?

[B]

Yes, and it's going to be great. No more whining. Everyone, back onto the ship. Oh, look at the deck. Or the cockpit. The bridge. What would you even call this?

[A]

It's all those things. Rolo. As you can see, I've adjusted the ship's wheel for road driving and installed 10 captain chairs in five rows so all 10 of us can sit safely and see out the windshield while we drive.

[E]

There's ten of us? I would have guessed, like, six.

[B]

All right, everyone, find your seats and buckle up. Wow, these are some comfy seats. Seatbelts on.

[A]

Oh, wait.

[B]

What is it?

[A]

I forgot my headphones. I'll be right back.

[B]

While Nimini's getting her headphones, is there anything else people need before we leave the ocean?

[C]

Oh, actually, I should probably use the bathroom real quick.

[B]

Then go. Because once we hit the road, I am not stopping until we get to our first predetermined stop.

[C]

I'll be right back.

[B]

Anything else?

[E]

I'm so sorry, but there's already a squish bug on the windshield, and if I don't get out right now and clean it up. It's gonna drive me bonkers.

[B]

Fine, but then we're hitting the road.

[C]

Lee, do you mind if I get out and stretch my legs?

[B]

We just sat down.

[C]

But I'm tall.

[E]

Oh, look at that sunrise. I simply must do a sun salutation on the beach.

[B]

No. Megan.

[C]

Oh, Lee.

[B]

What is it? Siegfried, before we leave the ocean, as.

[C]

A Viking, it's been a bit of a dream of mine to hunt a narwhal with my bare hands. Do I have time for that?

[B]

What? No.

[D]

Leigh, I need a fresh diaper.

[B]

Oh, baby with a mustache.

[F]

Loofah.

[B]

You just fell into my vat of garbanzo beans. Why are you cooking beans in your seat? Rolo?

[C]

Lee, what is all this?

[B]

Did you all turn the ship into a car while I was sleeping? I didn't forget about you, Smitty.

[C]

I didn't think you did until you said that.

[B]

That's it. Rachel, leave the smashed bug. Eric, stretch your legs later. Megan, what you do is not yoga. Siegfried, no one has ever hunted a narwhal. Quickly. Baby with a mustache, change yourself. Rolo, take loofah out of the beans. And Smitty, I did forget about you, and I'm sorry. Okay, now buckle your seatbelts, sit back, relax, or I am really gonna lose it. Thank you. Okay, here we.

[F]

Go.

[B]

Um, I forgot to get gas.

[F]

We'll be right back after a few words for the grown ups.

[B]

Hey, grown ups. Lee here. If your family loves story pirates, then I'm guessing that you are also interested in the kids in your life loving to read and write. Well, have I got something for you. Meet Mrs. Wordsmith, the award winning creators who make vocabulary learning ridiculously fun. I am so obsessed with everything that Mrs. Wordsmith makes. Check it out. First up, Wordtag, a video game to boost your child's vocabulary and build reading comprehension. Packed with expertly designed missions and mini games, players Learn up to 1500 new words a year. And it even comes with a money back guarantee. Are you kidding me? Next, you can pop a storyteller's word a day, flip top book on your kitchen table, and flip a new descriptive word every day, complete with synonyms and story starters. Perfect for chatting vocabulary while breakfast is cooking. And if you can, please save me some bacon on game night, you can break out Vocabularious with three hilarious card games in one box. Vocab practice becomes a competitive family event. And I promise to go easy on you if you invite me over to play. Best of all, budding story. Pirates will love how to write a Story, a workbook that gives kids everything they need to craft captivating tales. It includes easy to follow illustrated story graph planners and guidance on structuring plots. It's the perfect way to help your kids actually write that story that they've been thinking about for a long time. Whether it's books, card games, or apps, Mrs. Wordsmith turns learning into play. So set sail for Mrs. Wordsmith.com storypirates and use code pirate for an exclusive discount. That's Mrs. Wordsmith.com storyPirates Unlock the power of words and watch your child's imagination soar. And who knows? It may lead them to becoming the next story Pirate. Ah, the open road. We finally got our act together. The road trip has officially begun.

[A]

Hey, Lee, what is this route you're taking? My phone suggests that there's a much quicker way if we get on the.

[B]

Interstate and travel like robots. No thanks. Storyteller Con is in for several weeks, so we're going to take this opportunity to see the country. You know, before they built the giant road systems like Interstate Highway System or the autobahn or whatever, places used to have a bunch of smaller historic highways that zigzagged across the land with quirky roadside attractions and charming small towns like the famous Route 66.

[E]

Well, what route is this?

[B]

This is an even older and far less well known route. This is route zero.

[C]

Route zero.

[B]

It's officially the slowest way to get where we're going. Hey, what did I say about croning? To do it, to not do it.

[C]

I was close.

[A]

Eric, stop it.

[C]

What?

[A]

Your foot keeps touching my foot. Stay on your side.

[C]

But I'm the tallest. I need room to stretch my legs.

[A]

Well, find space that isn't on my side.

[C]

Oh, come on. You're not the only one with legs.

[D]

I don't have to be tall.

[B]

Nimini, no more fighting back there. Stay on your sides.

[E]

Hey, let's listen to something. I know a great new true crime podcast called Sad Town. It's very dark and very slow. Um, how about something we can all enjoy? I know this great new podcast about Australians who are afraid of rest and relaxation. It's called R and R. R what? R and R. Sad Town. R and R. Sad Town.

[B]

You two, cut it out. If you don't stop fighting, I will turn this land ship around.

[C]

Hey, Lee, I'm sorry to say this, but this infant car seat is way too small for me. I can barely breathe.

[B]

Peter, no one told you to sit there.

[E]

That's Loofah's car seat, Peter.

[C]

Well, where is Loofah she's still swimming.

[B]

Around in this bubbling vat of garbanzo beans. Rolo, I've told you that this is not the place for cooking. Come on, it's fine. It's not like I'm going to spill the. I spilled it.

[C]

Ants everywhere.

[A]

Rolo, is this a good time to.

[D]

Mention that I get car sick very.

[B]

Easily and usually with no warning?

[C]

Lee, I'm not familiar with the rules of the road.

[B]

Do I have to find a seatbelt.

[C]

For this narwhal, or can he lay down?

[A]

Hello?

[C]

Quiet, you. Sorry, Siegfried.

[B]

Where did you get a narwhal?

[D]

I hunted it.

[C]

Lee, the narwhal's tusk is on my side. I'm still stuck in the sea.

[B]

That's it. I'm pulling over. I've had it up to here with all your fighting. This is a road trip. It's supposed to be fun. Is anyone having fun?

[C]

No.

[E]

I hate to say it, Lee, but maybe this whole thing was a bad idea. Yeah, perhaps it's for the best if we just head back. Maybe the road just isn't the place for the story.

[A]

Look.

[D]

Huh?

[C]

Out the window. What is that?

[B]

It's Casp. A quirky small town roadside attraction. Come on, everyone, let's go see. There it is.

[A]

What is it?

[C]

The sign says that this is the world's biggest ball of wadded up used tissues. It's 10ft tall.

[E]

That's the grossest thing I've ever seen.

[B]

It's almost beautiful. Huh? Don't you see, my friends? This is what a road trip is all about. Letting yourself get lost to find things you've never dreamed of seeing. Beautiful things. Disgusting things. Weird things. If we, the story pirates, can't appreciate how utterly weird this nauseating roadside attraction is, then we're no better than robots.

[E]

Wow, you're right, Leith. I'm glad we're on this road together. Look, the sun is setting behind the ball. The warm light is glowing red off the glistening surface. The snotty tissues.

[C]

It sort of looks like a giant meatball, huh?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, it does.

[C]

Do you think it might taste like.

[B]

A meatball or Peter? No.

[C]

You know, just in case. Maybe I should.

[E]

Peter.

[D]

Nope.

[C]

Yep, you're right. I ruined the moment. Should we do another story instead?

[E]

Yeah, anything to stop Peter from eating that.

[C]

And here to introduce it is the author.

[F]

Hi, I'm Trevor. I'm nine years old, I live in Virginia, and this is my story. Bees in the ballot box.

[E]

Happy birthday, Trevor.

[H]

Thanks, Mom.

[C]

I can't believe My boy is 9. Years old today.

[E]

Now blow out your birthday candles and make a wish.

[C]

Okay.

[H]

I wish. Aw, never mind.

[C]

What is it, son?

[H]

I was going to wish to be able to do the most important thing a citizen can do.

[G]

Vote.

[H]

But then I remembered that kids aren't allowed to vote.

[E]

Trevor, aren't you forgetting something?

[H]

What?

[E]

They changed the voting law and lowered the voting age from 18 years old to 9.

[H]

Hey, I'm 9.

[C]

That's right. Now head on over to the ballot box and make your voice heard.

[H]

I will, mom and dad. This is the best birthday ever. What a beautiful day to invest in my country's future by voting.

[B]

Hey, Trevor.

[H]

Hey, neighbor.

[B]

Where are you headed on this fine day?

[H]

I'm on my way to the ballot box to vote for the very first time.

[B]

Awesome. You must be nine years old. Have fun exercising your right to vote. Just watch out for bees.

[C]

What?

[B]

Oh, nothing.

[H]

Have fun voting.

[C]

That's all I said.

[F]

Bye.

[C]

Bye.

[H]

That was weird. Well, I'm here at the ballot box.

[E]

Welcome to the ballot box. Are you here to vote?

[H]

I sure am. I'm nine years old today.

[E]

Congratulations. Here's your ballot. Take that right into the ballot box, which is just through that curtain.

[H]

Thanks.

[E]

Just watch out for bees.

[H]

What?

[E]

I didn't say anything. Have fun voting.

[C]

Bye.

[H]

Should you be running away if you're working the ballot box? First the neighbor, now the ballot box worker. This is getting weird. Well, I'm not gonna let a little weirdness stop me from voting. Into the ballot box I go. Here I am, ready to.

[D]

Ballot box.

[H]

So this is what everyone was talking about.

[D]

What are you doing here?

[H]

You bees can talk?

[D]

Of course we can talk. We even have names. I'm Bethany. I'm Beatrice. I'm Bean. Like Ben, but bee. They thought of mine last.

[H]

What are you doing in the ballot box?

[D]

We were sent here by the queen bee to annoy the humans.

[H]

Are you voting?

[D]

Of course we're voting. What else would we be doing in a ballot box? This kid probably thinks we go into the ballot box in make honey. That's all we do.

[H]

No, it's just I didn't think bees could vote.

[D]

Well, we can vote. In fact, we have to vote. Our queen and unquestioned leader is forcing us to vote. Queen bee?

[H]

That doesn't sound very democratic.

[D]

Because it's not. We don't live in a democracy. We're ruled by a cruel queen. But what are we gonna do? We're bees. And bees are ruled by a queen. All hail queen bee. Now scram.

[H]

Well, that didn't go well. Better go home as fast as I can and tell mom and dad about this. To my house. Mom, dad.

[E]

Welcome back. Trevor.

[C]

How was voting?

[H]

Bad. When I went to vote, there were B's in the ballot box.

[D]

What?

[G]

Where?

[A]

Why B's?

[H]

The ballot box. To vote.

[C]

Well, whom did they vote for?

[E]

John? No, it's a secret ballot.

[C]

Oh, you got me.

[H]

I didn't even get to vote.

[C]

We better get to the bottom of this. Let's head back to the ballot box.

[H]

Here we are at the ballot box.

[E]

Welcome to the ballot box. Are you here to vote?

[H]

Oh, hey, it's that ballot box worker from earlier. You came back.

[E]

Yeah, yeah, I realized I was being a coward. Plus, I forgot my reusable water bottle.

[H]

I'm here with my mom and dad. We're here to do something about those bees.

[D]

Phew.

[E]

The buzzing is starting to get to me. Sounds like a lumber mill in there.

[H]

Time to enter the ballot box.

[D]

Listen up.

[H]

Bees in the ballot box.

[D]

Oh, look, that's human Boy is back. What are you doing here? And whom have you brought with you this time?

[H]

My mom and dad.

[E]

Hi, bees.

[C]

Hello there.

[H]

Look, bees, I love that you're here exercising your right to vote. But voting is how you show your country what you think makes a good leader. You don't just vote for someone because they tell you to do it. Voting for queen Bee because she tells you to vote for her means throwing away your opportunity.

[C]

Nay.

[H]

You're right. As a pollen carrying citizen of this country, to vote for what's in your heart.

[D]

That's right. I never thought of it that way. There's no way to be human. Boy, you have spoken the truth. I don't even want to be here voting for queen bee. I want to be in a field of flowers. I want to visit a hummingbird feeder. I want to open a Roth ira.

[C]

Huh?

[D]

What? It's never too early to invest in your future anyway. Kid, that was a beautiful speech, but we're bees. And as long as queen bee is the queen, we're forced to do her bidding.

[H]

But what if we could come up with a way to defeat the queen?

[D]

Who? Me, Queen Bee? Yes, it is I, the queen bee. The undemocratic and unelected ruler of the bees. I came by to spit in the face of democracy and ensure that you are all carrying out my orders to annoy the humans and also vote for me as queen.

[H]

Bees, this is your chance. Vote for someone else. She'll lose the election and you won't have to listen to her anymore.

[D]

These drones will Vote exactly as I say. Not so fast, queen bee. The human boy is right. My vote is my voice, and I'm using it to make a difference. I'm voting for Ladybug. I'm voting for Adorable Sea Otter. And I voted for Ross Perot.

[H]

But Ross Perot is. Never mind. Hey, queen bee.

[D]

What is it, human boy?

[H]

Turns out none of your bee subjects voted for you. You just lost the election.

[D]

Foolish boy. You can't defeat me with your silly elections. I am a monarch, and your futile attempts at democracy mean nothing to me. I will rule you all forever.

[H]

Or we could just spray the queen bee with bee spray.

[D]

I'm sorry, what?

[E]

Great idea, Trevor. I have some bee spray in my purse.

[H]

Thanks, Mom. Take that, queen bee.

[C]

Help.

[D]

My eyes. My compound eyes. Now I gotta get out of here. Queen of Pee Bee Christmas. It worked. The queen bee is gone forever. Now we can fly off to wherever we want. Rough Ira, here I come.

[C]

Well, Trevor, you did it. You saved democracy and freed the bees.

[E]

What do you say we go home and enjoy that birthday cake?

[D]

Birthday cake.

[E]

Can I come?

[H]

No, you can't. Ballot box worker. No, you can't.

[E]

Worth a shot.

[B]

The end.

[C]

Who did you vote for?

[E]

John Mad.

[D]

What?

[B]

And now Lee speaks with the author. So, Trevor, you wrote B's in the ballot box?

[F]

Yes, I did.

[B]

For people that might not know, can you describe what voting is when you're.

[F]

At, like, I think it's like 16 or 18. They vote, and let's just say there's the president named John and the president named Mike. And 32,000 people voted for Mike, but 42,000 people voted for John. So John wins, and now John's the president.

[B]

Can you vote at home? Do you have to go somewhere? What's the deal?

[F]

You usually go to, like, a school? Usually, like, schools and like, other public places whole, like, have, like, voting.

[B]

Do you think it's important that people do that, or is it okay to just be lazy and stay home?

[F]

I think you're supposed to do it.

[B]

So here's the question I have. Because when you're voting, like, one person's gonna win, one person's gonna lose, right?

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

Let's say that I am a person that votes and the person I vote for loses. How am I supposed to deal with that? Like, how am I supposed to be okay with that?

[F]

You're supposed to just let it slide. Just let it slide.

[B]

Am I allowed to be, like, angry or sad about it, or do you just forget about it?

[F]

You can be, like, sad, like, oh, shock. But you can't get, like, angry or something?

[B]

Are there any other things in your life that you would like to have a vote for that right now is just decided for you?

[F]

Like dessert? We're gonna have for dinner.

[B]

What would you vote for for dessert tonight?

[F]

So I'll give you four choices. Cheesecake, pumpkin pie, apple pie, or chocolate cake. Which one would you choose?

[B]

I'm definitely going with chocolate cake.

[F]

I think I'd probably go with cheesecake.

[B]

Is there anyone in your house right now nearby that can cast the deciding vote? Since we've tied now, cheesecake and chocolate cake have tied.

[F]

My mom. How about a sister?

[B]

Your mom and your sister.

[F]

Okay. Okay. Your first dad. I think cheesecake. Ooh.

[B]

Okay.

[F]

I think cheesecake, too.

[D]

Wow.

[B]

You must make a good cheesecake over there if the entire family's voting for it.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

Trevor, this has been so fun to talk to you about your story. Thank you so much for sending it in to us.

[F]

You're welcome.

[B]

All right, bye.

[F]

Bye.

[B]

And when we come back, it's time for story Love, where Peter and I read even more stories written by kids. And this time we're joined by Nimini.

[F]

We'll be right back after a few words for the grown ups.

[B]

Welcome back to StoryLove, where we read stories written by kids and we talk about them. And today, Peter and I would like to welcome a very special guest story pirate host extraordinaire, Nimini Ware. Hello.

[E]

Hello.

[A]

Thank you for that lovely intro. I'm Nimini. Nice to see you guys. Very excited to to get into these stories.

[B]

All right, let's read the first one. I will read this one. It's a photo of the handwritten story and it is by a six year old named Lucas in Michigan called the army that Couldn't Army. Once upon a time, long ago in the age of knights and kings, there was an army. But this was no regular army. Instead of fighting, they danced break dancing. One day, an evil knight came to the kingdom with a cannon and was trying to shoot the castle. The king demanded that his army protect the castle. The army had a dance off with the evil knight. They were spinning on their heads and lifting themselves up in the air with their left hands. The evil knight was defeated in the dance off and was forced to retreat. The kingdom was safe once again.

[G]

The end.

[B]

Wow. Such a good story. Nimini, any thoughts? Out of the gate.

[A]

Well out of the gate. I'm like the army that couldn't arm me. It sounded like they armied pretty well to me. They got rid of the foes that's right. Yes. Also, as someone who's kind of getting into calisthenics a little bit, spinning on your head and lifting yourself up with one arm.

[C]

Crazy advance, especially your left arm.

[B]

Are we all right handed here?

[C]

I'm right handed.

[A]

I'm a lefty.

[E]

You're a lefty.

[B]

I'm a lefty.

[C]

So you fit right into this army.

[A]

I think so.

[C]

I will say the thing that got me at the beginning of this story, when they said there was no regular army, it was an army. They just did break dancing. And then the other night, showed up with a cannon. In my mind, I was like, these dancing knights are in trouble.

[D]

Right?

[C]

But they're so charismatic and cool that the guys with cannons are like, well, we can't just shoot our cannons. We must engage in dancing.

[B]

Have you guys ever been in a dance battle?

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Like a real one?

[A]

Well, I don't know if we can say real, but at a club, you know, just, you know, the music's good, and then you point somebody out and.

[B]

Then you just start, whoa. And you feel competitive, not like building each other up.

[A]

I feel. I feel like building each other up. Cause I'm not like a dancer dancer. So I'm not trying to be like, I'm a win.

[C]

But I've done that. But I've never been good enough where I can be earnest about it at all. Whereas I feel like you're doing it and you're enjoying it and really dancing. But it's me at a wedding being like, oh, this better be funny.

[B]

Do you have Peter? Like, if you. If I was like, there's a dance battle. We need you. Like, do you have a go to move? Like, what would you. In your head, what would you decide to do to try to keep up with the competition?

[C]

It is almost like this is what I do in story. Pirate stories. It's always a funny move. Cause I can't impress people technically. So it's usually a horse leap. It's something unexpectedly graceful because I'm like, bulking a little.

[B]

Ballet.

[C]

Yeah. And then I'll do a spin and land.

[B]

I see those moves and I'm like, I've seen those a million times from.

[C]

My days of being a hockey player. I was a very good. And so I can be legitimately. I was a figure skater first when I was like four or five.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[C]

And I played hockey. And so I can go from into a little bit graceful, and it's funny.

[B]

Well, that story's amazing, Lucas. Great work, my friend. Let's go to Our next one, Nimini. This one I would love for you to read. It's by a 10 year old named Holland and an 8 year old named Brightly. Great name. They live in Utah and their story is called Adventures of Evil Pancake Pants and the Question Mark Agency.

[F]

Ooh.

[A]

Okay. It was a dark night. Evil Pancake Pants was jumping around in his pink hearted underpants.

[B]

Dun dun dun.

[A]

Then Evil Pancake Pants yells out, world domination is today. Zen. He mysteriously does a backflip. Meanwhile, sir the Great and Greg the Dog Bunny are making a plan to stop Evil Pancake Pants. Tomorrow they will use their plan. The next day, Greg and Question Mark the Great get in a super high speed hot dog Lamborghini and start riding in the car. Greg sticks his tongue out the window. Then Question Mark the Great says, great. How you doing back there? He responds. Meanwhile, at Evil Pancake Pants base he is doing a workout. Then all of a sudden, Question Mark the Great pulls up to his base. Then Evil Pancake Pants gets to his hamburger race car. Then they have a super fast car chase. Then Evil Pancake Pants says, yeah. During the car chase, they pass the bakery and a woman is holding Brett. When they pass her, she gets twirled around and loses her bread. Then she screams, I just wanted my bread. Eventually they get to a dead end and Evil Pancake Pants goes to jail. Then he says the end.

[B]

Incredible.

[A]

Wow. So many twists and turns.

[B]

The centerpiece of that story to me is the car chase though. And the detail about the woman who is holding the bread.

[C]

I just wanted my bread.

[B]

I just like always the best part of a car chase are the sort of like innocence that are stumbled upon. Like the two workers carrying the glass pane.

[C]

Right.

[B]

That the car crashes through. I crave that.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You know what I mean?

[C]

I do.

[A]

It's giving like Charlie Chaplin.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Kind of. Yeah.

[B]

Yes, totally.

[A]

Something that stood out to me. The hot dog. Super high speed hot dog Lamborghini.

[F]

What?

[A]

Where did I get one of those?

[B]

Yeah, that's good.

[C]

I would say one of my favorite detail of this whole story is the. Then he mysteriously does a backflip. Yeah, right.

[B]

Well, I mean to me that sounds like we're setting up a dance off. Right?

[A]

Oh, what a theme.

[C]

He never comes back. And I like to pick mysteriously. What could that mean? I picture him going world domination is today. Then long pause and then just like a little one.

[B]

You know how like people who can do backflips, that's like their thing.

[C]

I just realized something. Maybe this is obvious. It's a Pancake. You flip pancakes. Oh, so maybe it is world domination day. And then a hand comes in with a spatula. It just flips and goes oh, where did that hand come from? It's a mystery.

[B]

Where is the face on a pancake though? Are you flipping onto your.

[C]

There's a drawing. Oh, see that? He's got a heart shaped underpants and like a. So he has legs like a robber mask.

[B]

He's not flipping like a pancake would on the griddle. He has legs and arms.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, wow. Good catch.

[B]

Yeah, great catch, Peter.

[C]

Thank you.

[B]

All right, let's get to our final story. Peter, would you do us the honors?

[C]

I would love to. Our final story comes to us today from an 11 year old from Virginia named Calvin. Calvin's story is called story backwards the Here we go.

[A]

Can I play the mom?

[C]

Oh yes, please. Story backwards. The note a period or comma indicates the end of a backwards phrase. It'll all be clear in a moment. Ready for this time upon once short for Jeff or Jeffrey was name whose.

[B]

Kid it was there breakfast for time.

[C]

Upstairs called mom his heck the what said he Betty jumped out of dressed to get to breakfast get to downstairs walked he sneakers his beneath stairs the on wood and when squeak pancakes best the make you mom said Geoff okay you are mom his asked no oh day backwards was it forgot I great o Jeff said it of best the make moell as might note to the story pirates this is taking a while to type so can you guys make the school parts and I'll just skip to the end school after dessert delicious and a dinner he had he games, video some playing and homework his finishing after went he bed day backwards another bee won't tomorrow lease that said he the next day he found himself in the ceiling. Oh no end the yeah that was so fun.

[B]

So good.

[A]

It's giving Shakespeare. Honestly I was like which play are we in right now?

[B]

I know exactly what you mean. Like the words when I heard them out loud, I wasn't expecting them to make as much sense as they did.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Because when you look at the page it's like kind of confusing. But hearing it worked.

[A]

Yeah, I love it.

[C]

It's very Yoda where it just all you know, he just rearranges the order of the words and it sounds Shakespearean and important. This has the same vibe.

[B]

And there is the second the last sentence he does forward.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Because the new day he's now on the ceiling. So he's no longer backwards. He's upside down.

[F]

Oh wow.

[A]

I did think I caught that flip as well. I thought that was genius. It also, I do wonder how long it took to do this. Like, did they literally just type it backwards or do they type it forwards and then switch it right?

[B]

Like, yeah, I would assume that they wrote it forwards first, but maybe not.

[A]

You know, that's a different kind of brain power.

[C]

All right, everyone think of a really short sentence right now in your head. And then when I say go, say it backwards. Take five seconds. Okay, I'll go first. Now write Hungry? Very. Am I. Mm.

[A]

Okay, today train the took I. Ooh.

[C]

Okay, Crane.

[B]

Here, Nimini, have two wonderful. It's Aw.

[F]

Yes.

[B]

Nimini.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Thanks for being here today.

[A]

Well, of course. Thank you for having me.

[B]

Lovely to have you. And everyone who wrote stories, thank you so much for sending them in. Calvin, that last one was amazing. All of them were amazing today. To read all of today's story Love stories yourself, just head to storypirates.com and guess what?

[C]

Grown Ups.

[B]

You can find an even longer version of today's Story Love on YouTube. And Grown Ups. StoryLove isn't just the name of a segment on our show. It's also the name of our incredible corporate volunteer program to find out more about Story Love, our digital creative writing program, Story Love Request, or our sister nonprofit, Story Pirates Change Makers. Check out the show notes for links. That's it for today's episode. Thanks to today's authors, Jocelyn and Trevor, and a huge thanks to all of you for joining us for season eight of the Story Pirates podcast. And guess what? You can still send us your stories and we respond to every single story we receive. Grown Ups can submit to [e-mail] we'll be back next week with another brand new episode. Until then, stay creative and stay kind.

[C]

Bye.

[B]

The Story Pirates podcast is a production of Story Pirates Studios, executive produced by Lee Overtree and Benjamin Salka. This episode was produced by Sam Baer, Peter McNerney, Andrew Miller and Lee Overtree. Recording sound design and mixing by Sam Baer at the Relic Room in New York City. Additional production by Brett Toobin. Theme song by Bobby Lord. Musical scoring by Eric Erson and Jack Mitchell. Our head writer is Peter McNerney. Staff writers are Megan O' Neill and Alexis Simpson and contributing writing by Lee Overtree. Episode artwork by Camilla Franklin. This episode features performances by Eric Austin, Greg Barnett, Matt Cox, Sasha Diamond, Quentin Johnson, Anna Marr, Peter McNerney, Alexandra Nader, Megan O', Neill, Lee Overtree, Peter Russo, Austin Sanders, Rachel Winitsky, Nimini Ware, and Matt Zambra.

[C]

Finally, everyone's asleep. The perfect time for me to sneak off the ship and secretly taste the giant ball of wadded up used tissues. Just in case it tastes like a meatball. No one will ever know. Bright lights.

[B]

I see you, Peter. Step away from the tissue ball.

[C]

Curse you, Leobatree.