Bob’s Impossible Pants/The Weird Inventor (feat. Matt Oberg)

Summary

---

Story Pirates Podcast – "Bob’s Impossible Pants/The Weird Inventor" (feat. Matt Oberg)

Release Date: December 4, 2025

---

Episode Overview

This episode of the Story Pirates Podcast delivers two wildly creative, kid-authored tales: "Bob’s Impossible Pants" (by Iris, age 10, Massachusetts) and "The Weird Inventor" (by William, age 11, Texas). Alongside these new stories, the crew welcomes actor and comedian Matt Oberg and explores themes of resilience, invention, facing challenges, and the joy of creativity. Throughout, the Story Pirates bring both stories and their child authors to life with signature sketch comedy, imaginative sound design, and insightful interviews.

---

Key Segments & Discussion Points

1. Road Trip Detour: Meeting Virgil Bakeson

[02:37–05:34]

• The Story Pirates (Lee, Megan, Peter, and friends) stop at “Old Baby Mountain Face,” stumble across a man stuck in a tree—Virgil Bakeson—adding a dose of absurdist humor to the show’s frame narrative.
• Virgil claims he’s been stuck “maybe an hour, a day… three weeks?”
  • “I’m not big on counting time… maybe an hour, a day? About three weeks?” – Virgil [05:17]
• The group helps Virgil, who hints at a grand adventure (walking around the globe).

---

2. Story #1: "Bob's Impossible Pants" by Iris

[06:05–10:40]

• Synopsis:
  • Bob, an ancient Egyptian (who, humorously, shouldn’t wear pants), falls prey to the allure of shiny disco sequin pants. He ignores the shopkeeper’s warning, puts on the “impossible” pants, and is cursed by the Wizard of Pants to live forever—until he can remove them. After centuries of trying, hobnobbing with history’s luminaries, and finally being freed by an expert, Bob vanishes the moment the pants come off, leaving behind a diary now in a museum.
• Song Interludes: The narrative is set to an infectious disco number, repeating: “Bob’s impossible pants! Pants! Bob’s impossible pants!”

Notable Moment

• The wizard’s proclamation:
  • "You've been cursed with impossible pants. You're gonna live forever, but please don't panic; when you finally get those pants off is when you gotta go." – Wizard [08:15]

---

3. Author Interview – Iris

[10:44–13:14]

• Iris describes the real-life struggle that inspired her story:
  • “I was getting ready for bed, and I was trying to take my pants off, and they were really tight. And so I said, ‘Ah, these are impossible pants.’ And my mom said, ‘That’s a good idea for a story!’” – Iris [10:50]
• On challenging her characters:
  • “I want to make a story where, yeah, they have to face some challenges... I feel like I want the character to be put through a situation where I can put myself through that situation.” – Iris [12:23]
• Lee congratulates Iris’s sophisticated storytelling:
  • “You sound like a really, like, mature, seasoned writer.” – Lee [13:02]

---

4. Virgil’s Saga: A Long Walk Home

[13:17–23:18]

• Virgil finally reveals he’s been walking the world on foot and is shocked to discover (with some help from the Pirates’ white lies) that the world—and his town—have aged without him.
• Running jokes about outdated technology and “1999” references (“Y2K,” Blockbuster Video, Radio Shack, Uncle Dave’s Really Bad Chicken Hut).
• An emotional reunion: Virgil’s wife, Virginia, also set off to find him, and they reunite after both circumnavigated the globe in opposite directions.
  • “She must have really missed me. Oh, Virginia, I’m so sorry I left!” – Virgil [21:53]

---

5. Story #2: "The Weird Inventor" by William

[23:47–31:02]

• Synopsis:
  • Rufus Poofenfloofer, consistently dismissed for his “weird inventions,” presents at the science fair. Years later, he appears on the show "We'll Give You Money For Your Ideas So We Can Make More Money For Ourselves," pitching increasingly outlandish inventions—such as a burger launcher and car with rockets.
  • Investors repeatedly reject his pitches (“It’s just too weird”), but Rufus persists, inspiring an eventual (hungry) backer who offers him, hilariously, an actual steak for lunch.
• Parody & Tribute: The segment affectionately spoofs reality business shows, complete with investors obsessed with French history, meal times, and patty melts.

Notable Quotes

• “To me, that burger launcher looks a lot like a trebuchet. A French siege weapon popular from the 12th to 15th centuries...” – Investor [27:01]
• “If that makes me weird, then so be it.” – Rufus Poofenfloofer [30:36]
• “I was looking for patty melts. But I also heard everything you just said, and I want you to know I think your inventions are genius.” – Investor, in a dumpster [30:40]

---

6. Author Interview – William

[31:10–33:47]

• William’s passion for invention and engineering shines:
  • “I’m always interested in, like, engineering, and I want to be an inventor when I grow up.” – William [31:15]
• Problem-solving approach:
  • “I think most of the world’s problems can be solved very simply.” – William [31:45]
• When asked to invent something on the spot:
  • “All restaurants sell double cheeseburgers, but what about a triple cheeseburger?” – William [32:22]
• Good-natured Shark Tank spoof: William wisely insists on consulting others before investing in Lee's proposed sock-buying robot.

---

7. Story Love Segment: Even More Kid Stories (with Discussion)

[34:05–43:30]

Saren's "The Problem" [34:29–35:33]

• A girl’s anger manifests as a literal “problem” that crushes her town, forcing people to escape. The pirates discuss metaphor and emotional processing.
  • “The problem is an abstract concept—literalized.” – Peter [35:41]
  • “Sometimes when you get mad, you cause problems for yourself.” – Lee [35:58]

Micah's "Why Do I Have a Rainbow Fist?" [36:42–37:59]

• A hilariously nonsensical origin story for a magical "rainbow fist."
  • “The rainbow fist makes me stronger.” – Micah [37:59]
• The pirates riff on the fanciful reasoning and childlike imagination behind the story.

Miranda's "How Bunnies Stay Cute" [39:57–42:30]

• Bunnies’ cuteness depends on a comically complex system of hamster butlers and flea bank robbers, all to fund beauty products cost $1 million a pop.
  • "They ask their butlers, who are hamsters, naturally..." – Miranda [40:15]
  • Pirates marvel at the absurd logic, escalating animal hierarchy, and the story’s ultimate message: “Don’t assume things come easy for anyone—or any bunny."

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Bob was looking round the store when he saw the perfect pants. Shiny disco pants with purple sequins.” – Narrator [06:50]
• “You’re gonna live forever, but please don’t panic...” – Wizard [08:15]
• “In stories, there’s always this huge disaster… but I want the character to be put through a situation where I can put myself through that situation and see how they would feel.” – Iris [12:23]
• “All restaurants sell double cheeseburgers, but what about a triple cheeseburger?” – William [32:22]
• “I want to bring joy and surprise to a world full of predictability. If that makes me weird, then so be it.” – Rufus Poofenfloofer [30:36]
• “The rainbow fist makes me stronger.” – Micah [37:59]
• “It is very simple. Just 1,200 steps for their noses, and more for their bodies. All the products cost $1 million.” – Miranda [40:10]

---

Tone & Style

• Witty, playful, irreverent: The hosts' comedic timing and willingness to run with every bizarre kid idea keeps the energy up.
• Supportive and inquisitive: The author interviews highlight empathy, curiosity, and a real respect for the children's imagination.
• Children's voices and points of view are always treated with seriousness, even (or especially) when stories are delightfully silly.

---

Segment Timestamps

| Segment | Timestamp | |-----------------------------------------|---------------| | Virgil’s Rescue & Welcome | 02:37–05:34 | | "Bob’s Impossible Pants" Story & Song | 06:05–10:40 | | Interview with Iris (Author) | 10:44–13:14 | | Virgil’s Journey & Reunion | 13:17–23:18 | | "The Weird Inventor" Story | 23:47–31:02 | | Interview with William (Author) | 31:10–33:47 | | Story Love: Saren’s "The Problem" | 34:29–35:33 | | Story Love: Micah’s "Rainbow Fist" | 36:42–37:59 | | Story Love: Miranda’s "How Bunnies Stay Cute" | 39:57–42:30 |

---

Takeaway

This episode of Story Pirates is a joyous celebration of kid creativity, blending outlandish comedy, clever songs, empathetic mentoring, and heartfelt encouragement. Whether it’s immortal sequin pants, burger trebuchets, or bank-robbing fleas, each story is treated as an imaginative springboard for both humor and meaningful conversation, offering listeners of all ages a reminder to embrace the weird, try new things, and always look for the story behind the story.

---

Transcript

[Lee Overtree]

Lemonade.

Hey, Story Pirates podcast listeners. Lee here. Welcome back to season eight. On today's episode, we have a brand new song, a brand new story, and a brand new special guest, the incredible and hilarious actor Matt Oberg. But grown ups, before we begin, I'd like to take just a minute to continue to ask for your help with finishing our season. We want to be hon with our listeners that it is a really challenging time right now for educational media providers like the Story Pirates. Unless we're able to raise more funds, this season could unfortunately be a short one. We've already received so many responses from you about this. Thank you to everyone who has already donated and reached out. It really, truly means so much to us. And if you haven't had a chance to help yet, we're still offering for the first time personalized videos from us to you. That's right. For your tax deductible donation, we'll send you your kids, whoever in your life that you think will appreciate it. Probably your kids. A personalized video saying hello, happy birthday, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, whatever. You can choose a video from me or Peter or Megan or Nimini or Eric or even Rolo. So this is the only time we've ever offered this and we're not going to be doing it again anytime soon. So this is your chance. Get a video for that special imaginative kid in your life and help the Story Pirates finish our season. And if you're hearing all of this and you have even more significant resources to spare, we are looking for some patrons who might want to have a conversation with us about becoming credited producers on the show. If that sounds like you, please, please, please drop us a line. And of course, like I said, all donations are completely tax deductible. Get your personalized video or get in touch with us about a larger [e-mail] support. That link is also in the show notes for today's episode. Okay, thanks for listening and thanks again for all of your support. We really love our listeners. Onto the show after a few more words for the grown ups.

Okay, Megan, Peter, remember this is just a quick stop. We have a schedule to keep.

[Peter McNerney]

Leigh, didn't you make a big point of saying we were driving the long way to Storyteller Con so that we can stop and see all the little things along the way?

[Lee Overtree]

Yes, but that doesn't mean that I can't also have a strict itinerary.

[Peter McNerney]

It doesn't.

[Megan O'Neil]

Relax, Lee. It's just a quick scenic overlook. And with a name like Old Baby Mountain face. How could we skip this stop?

[Lee Overtree]

I don't totally understand what this is.

[Peter McNerney]

Here's a plaque. That explains it. It says, welcome to Old Baby Mountain Face. Named for the distinct profile of the nearby mountain. Some say that if you squint, it resembles the face of a crying baby. Others don't. In fact, most don't. Maybe this is one we could have skipped.

[Megan O'Neil]

I'm gonna see if I can see it. Squint.

[Peter McNerney]

Careful, Peter. You'll hurt yourself squinting like that.

[Lee Overtree]

Can you see it?

[Rufus Poofenfloofer]

I think I can.

[Megan O'Neil]

Hear it. What?

[Lee Overtree]

That's ridiculous. Let me try it.

[Rufus Poofenfloofer]

Whoa.

[Lee Overtree]

I hear it, too.

[Virgil Bakeson]

Please help me.

[Peter McNerney]

That is one articulate baby.

[Virgil Bakeson]

I'm not a baby. I'm down here.

[Peter McNerney]

Oh, my goodness. Over the railing. There's a man stuck in that tree.

[Megan O'Neil]

The baby's a man.

[Peter McNerney]

Don't worry. We'll get a rope and help you up. Right, Lee? Right, Lee.

[Lee Overtree]

But I want to stay on schedule.

[Peter McNerney]

Lee?

[Jack Mitchell]

Lee.

[Lee Overtree]

Okay, fine.

[Child Authors (Iris, William, Saren, Micah, Miranda)]

I love story piling. It just filled me up with joy.

[Lee Overtree]

My mom loves the jokes.

[Child Authors (Iris, William, Saren, Micah, Miranda)]

Yo yo Matcha.

[Jack Mitchell]

It made me very proud about my writing.

[Child Authors (Iris, William, Saren, Micah, Miranda)]

All restaurants sell double cheeseburger, but what about a triple cheeseburger? I definitely think I can be more creative. Now I'm the champion.

[Lee Overtree]

The Story Pirates.

Welcome back to the Story Pirates Podcast.

[Peter McNerney]

Everybody, where we take stories written by.

[Megan O'Neil]

Kids and turn them into sketch comedy and songs.

[Lee Overtree]

Except when our sketch schedule is interrupted by a stranger stuck in a tree that we have to pull up a cliff with a rope.

[Rufus Poofenfloofer]

I'm almost to the top.

[Peter McNerney]

One more big pull, everyone. One, two, three.

[Virgil Bakeson]

Whoa. Thank you all so much for helping me. My name's Virgil. Virgil Bakeson.

[Megan O'Neil]

Boy, you look pretty rough. How long were you in that tree?

[Virgil Bakeson]

I'm not big on counting time. Maybe an hour. A day? I'm about three weeks?

[Megan O'Neil]

Hard to say.

[Lee Overtree]

Okay, well, glad we could help. Goodbye.

[Virgil Bakeson]

My ankle. I think I sprained it when I tumbled over that cliff.

[Peter McNerney]

We should get you to a hospital. Come with us. We'll help you.

[Virgil Bakeson]

But so kind of you. I must send you a thank you gift. Remind me to get your electronic mail address later. Maybe your pager number. Whatever the kids are into these days. A fax. Love that.

[Peter McNerney]

Yes, sure.

[Megan O'Neil]

Hey, in the meantime, would you like to hear a story?

[Virgil Bakeson]

So long as it's not the plot of that new movie, the Lion King. I haven't seen it yet. Is it good? What's Siskel say?

[Megan O'Neil]

It's definitely not that. It's a story written by a kid.

[Virgil Bakeson]

Oh, then, yes, please.

[Megan O'Neil]

Great. Here's the author to introduce it.

[Child Authors (Iris, William, Saren, Micah, Miranda)]

Hi, I'm Iris. I'm 10 years old, I live in Massachusetts. And this is my story. Bob's Impossible Pan.

[Jack Mitchell]

Once there was an ancient Egyptian guy named Bob. Hey, Bob. Bob really wanted a new pair of pants. He went to the pants store, which is weird because ancient Egyptians don't wear pants.

Bob was looking round the store when he saw the perfect pants. Shiny disco pants with purple sequ.

He didn't stop to read the text, which it turns out was really bad. The shop owner gave advice. Bob should be heated.

[Megan O'Neil]

He said, I wouldn't buy those pants.

[Lee Overtree]

If I were you.

[Jack Mitchell]

They're impossible pants. He doesn't have a clue what those pants will do.

Woo. Bobs Impossible Pants Pants box Impossible Pants.

Bob's Impossible Pants Pants. Bob's Impossible Pants.

Bob he didn't listen to the warning oh, Bob. He loved the way he looked and stepped outside feeling sharp all the people after Bob's new disco pants Poor Bob, he felt super sad and ran back home.

He tried to take those pants off, but you know, they would not budge. Then suddenly a magic wizard appeared. She said, I'm the wizard, the wizard of pants. And you've been cursed with impossible pants. It was all sounding worse than feared. She said, you're gonna live forever, but please don't panic when you finally get those pants off is when you got a better show. I must disappear into a puff of magical powder.

Spots Impossible Pants. Pants. Spots. Impossible Pants.

Spots. Impossible Pants. Impossible Spots Impossible Pants.

Bob spent many decades trying to remove these pants and witnessed a lot of history.

[Virgil Bakeson]

Witness.

[Jack Mitchell]

You met the Queen of England and Martin Luther King Jr. And Amelia Earhart, all in the 20th century. Bob found an impossible pants expert. She used her magic powers to free him from the spell. But like the wizard said he would, Bob vanished then and there. The minute that the pants were taken off.

A customer at the Expert store found a diary Bob kept with details of historical events so historical Bob wrote in it throughout his days. A scientist was so amazed, they put it in a museum. Cause that made sense. Total sense. Everybody in the world has heard. Now you know about him too. So I guess I did my job. And as for the pants, they're locked in a high security safe. Bobs Impossible Pants. Pants. Bobs Impossible Pants.

Bobs.

[Virgil Bakeson]

Yes.

[Jack Mitchell]

Bobs Impossible Pants. Impossible. So Impossible Bobs Impossible Pants.

Bots. Impossible Pins, Pits. Bots Impossible Pants Impossible Pants Bobs Impossibles. Bobs Impossibles Bobs Impossibles Pants.

[Peter McNerney]

And now Lee speaks with the author.

[Lee Overtree]

So, Iris, you wrote Bob's Impossible Pants?

[Child Authors (Iris, William, Saren, Micah, Miranda)]

Yeah.

[Lee Overtree]

Can you tell me how you came up with the idea for that?

[Child Authors (Iris, William, Saren, Micah, Miranda)]

Well, it's sort of a funny story, but basically, I was getting ready for bed, and I was trying to take my pants off, and they were really tight. And so I said, ah, these are impossible pants. And my mom said, oh, you should probably write a story. That's a good idea for a story. And I was like, oh, yeah.

[Lee Overtree]

In your story, we don't know where the impossible pants came from, right?

[Child Authors (Iris, William, Saren, Micah, Miranda)]

No, I think probably the impossible pants wizard had something to do with it, but I really don't know why she would create them.

[Lee Overtree]

Sounds like a prequel.

[Child Authors (Iris, William, Saren, Micah, Miranda)]

That would be funny behind the scenes of the impossible pants.

[Lee Overtree]

And now let me ask you this. Let's say that you came across the impossible pants. You knew about the curse. Would you put the pants on?

[Child Authors (Iris, William, Saren, Micah, Miranda)]

No, I definitely would not.

[Lee Overtree]

Even if it meant that you could live for as long as you wanted?

[Child Authors (Iris, William, Saren, Micah, Miranda)]

No. Because then when you take them off, it's like, oh, no. Well, I live my life. But then it's like, well, you lived your whole life, and now once these pants are off, then it's over.

[Megan O'Neil]

Yeah.

[Child Authors (Iris, William, Saren, Micah, Miranda)]

It's just a lot to meet all these famous people while also trying to take your pants off. And also, these are sequins pants. Like, they're sparkly, disco sequins pants. So I feel like they'd be itchy, so I wouldn't want to sleep in them.

[Lee Overtree]

Ugh. Can you imagine? Terrible.

[Child Authors (Iris, William, Saren, Micah, Miranda)]

Yeah. So I sort of put my character in a bad situation. I didn't make it easy for him.

[Lee Overtree]

Is that a strategy that you do a lot in stories where you make things kind of hard on your character?

[Child Authors (Iris, William, Saren, Micah, Miranda)]

I want to make a story where, yeah, they have to face some challenges, because in stories, there's always, like, this huge, like, disaster. Like, there's some kind of, like, alien attacking, and they're always like, oh, no, this is scary. But I don't really feel like they actually, like, describe the character as the character would feel in real life. Like, if I was there was an alien attacking my city, I would scream at the top of my lungs and then probably faint. I wouldn't be running away. I feel like I want the character to be put through a situation where I can put myself through that situation and then, like, see how I feel that character would feel.

[Lee Overtree]

You sound like a really, like, mature, seasoned writer.

[Child Authors (Iris, William, Saren, Micah, Miranda)]

Thank you, Iris.

[Lee Overtree]

Thank you so much for talking to me today.

[Child Authors (Iris, William, Saren, Micah, Miranda)]

Yeah. Thank you so much.

[Lee Overtree]

Bye.

[Jack Mitchell]

Bye.

[Child Authors (Iris, William, Saren, Micah, Miranda)]

Thank you.

[Virgil Bakeson]

Whoa.

[Megan O'Neil]

I love that one.

[Virgil Bakeson]

Okay, that was good. That Was a wonderful story. It's been a long time since I've heard one.

[Lee Overtree]

You couldn't have been in that tree that long.

[Virgil Bakeson]

Oh, no, I was only in that tree for an afternoon. Maybe a month, tops. But I've been away from my home for a lot longer than that. You see, I'm on a journey to become the third person in history to circumnavigate the globe on foot.

[Megan O'Neil]

Wow. You're trying to cut the world in.

[Virgil Bakeson]

Half with your feet. No, I'm trying to walk around the entire planet. I was almost done with my journey, too, when I foolishly stumbled off the cliff and into that tree.

[Lee Overtree]

Really fascinating stuff. Hate to delay you any longer, so why don't you hop onto our landship over there and we can take you home and be on our way now.

[Virgil Bakeson]

I'm sorry, but no can do. Getting into a vehicle is against the rules that have to start again. And that would be a pity, considering the fact that my house is just down the road. My wife is probably wondering what's taken me so long.

[Peter McNerney]

You haven't talked to your wife since you left. Didn't you bring a phone?

[Virgil Bakeson]

Bring a phone? Well, I've been away for a while, but I'm pretty sure they don't make phone cords that can stretch around the entire plane. You're funny.

[Rufus Poofenfloofer]

Ugh.

[Lee Overtree]

Darn ankle.

[Virgil Bakeson]

If only I had bought some of those new Reebok pumps. Bet this would have never happened. Pump it up.

[Megan O'Neil]

Are those shoes new?

[Virgil Bakeson]

Well, like I said, I have been away for a bit. Must have missed some things.

[Peter McNerney]

Virgil, do you know what year it is?

[Virgil Bakeson]

Well, yeah. Never good at this. But let's see. If I had to guess, I've been walking around the world, I would say for about five years.

[Megan O'Neil]

Five years?

[Virgil Bakeson]

So that would make it do, do, do, do. Hey. 1999.

What, has it been longer than that? It's not the year 2000, is it? Hey, tell me how long I've been walking. What is it? Is it more than 5? Is it 6?

[Megan O'Neil]

Is it 7?

[Lee Overtree]

More like 30.

[Virgil Bakeson]

What?

He almost had me there. Can you imagine if that were true? My wife would be so mad at me. Not to mention the fact that I would have wasted most of my life just walking. No, really, what year is it?

[Lee Overtree]

It's 1999. Yeah, you got it.

[Peter McNerney]

Lee, what are you doing? I thought you were trying to get rid of him.

[Lee Overtree]

We can't tell him the truth. It's too sad.

[Megan O'Neil]

Once, when I was little, I accidentally.

[Virgil Bakeson]

Ate my lunchbox instead of my lunch. Peter, What I thought we were telling secrets. Uh, excuse me. Why did you three suddenly turn away into a small huddle to whisper?

[Lee Overtree]

Uh, no reason. Quick, he's getting suspicious. Who's with me?

[Peter McNerney]

I'm not sure that I really remember what happened in 1999.

[Megan O'Neil]

All I remember from that year is the Cuban missile Cris slickers too. It was the year I was born and disco was everywhere.

[Peter McNerney]

Peter, none of those things are true.

[Megan O'Neil]

Then I might not be much help with this.

[Lee Overtree]

All those in favor of supporting this sad man's delusion by pretending that it's 1999 until we can get him back to his house, say aye.

[Jack Mitchell]

Aye.

[Lee Overtree]

Great. Let's do it.

[Megan O'Neil]

Don't understand what's happening.

[Virgil Bakeson]

Hello? What's going on?

[Lee Overtree]

Nothing. Small whispering circles are just a cool new thing people do now here in the late 90s. Right Megan?

[Peter McNerney]

Uh, right. It's the coolest. Yeah.

[Virgil Bakeson]

Wow. Who would have thought?

[Megan O'Neil]

Not me. I'm as surprised as you are.

[Lee Overtree]

Well, we better get walking if we're gonna get you home before the new millennium.

[Virgil Bakeson]

Well said. Speaking of, I hope the country is prepared for the inevitable Y2K computer bug. You heard about this one? Ugh, wonder what other trends and news events I've missed. Hey, while we walk, I'm going to ask you all a lot of questions.

[Jack Mitchell]

Fun.

[Child Authors (Iris, William, Saren, Micah, Miranda)]

We'll be right back after a few words for the grown ups.

[Lee Overtree]

Hey grown ups. Lee here. You can now experience the beloved Harry Potter stories like you've never heard them before on Audible with Harry the full cast audio editions. Now you know that I love audio only storytelling. I think it's one of the best things you can expose your kids to because there's no screen. Audio storytelling has this special way of activating kids imaginations which I think is super powerful. And the Harry Potter full cast audio editions have the highest possible quality. You can ask for hundreds of unique voices and immersive sound design that brings the wizarding world vividly to life in Dolby Atmos as well as an electrifying new musical score. The adventure surrounds you. You'll hear footsteps echoing off the walls of Hogwarts and the whoosh of a golden snitch as it darts past your ear. And I love the casting. I just noticed that Matthew McFadyen is playing Voldemort. Sorry I said his name. I know. But Matthew is one of my favorite actors. He's just incredible in everything he does. I just watched this amazing show with him. He's fantastic. And there's so many other actors that I just personally Love doing this. These full cast audio editions are a spellbinding experience for longtime Harry Potter fans and a delightful new way to introduce the stories to a new generation. The first story in the series is available now. With new audiobooks in the series releasing every month, it's Harry Potter like you've never heard it before. Go to audible.com HP1 and start listening today.

[Virgil Bakeson]

So you're telling me that now in 1999, cars can drive themselves, Michael Jordan's been added to Mount Rushmore, and tacos are legal currency?

[Peter McNerney]

Uh, did we say all those things?

[Megan O'Neil]

Yes, I said most of them.

[Lee Overtree]

And we thank you for that, Peter.

[Virgil Bakeson]

World has really changed. Got a lot more questions, so maybe.

[Lee Overtree]

We should take a break from this very accurate history lesson. Look, here we are in town.

[Virgil Bakeson]

Wow. Good old Main Street. But it is very different. I will say that a lot has changed in the past five years.

[Megan O'Neil]

Whoa.

[Virgil Bakeson]

Hey, wait. The Blockbuster Video is gone? That's where Blockbuster Video was. What happened? What, people don't watch movies anymore?

[Lee Overtree]

Well, nope.

[Megan O'Neil]

In 1997, people got really into crayons. People just draw now.

[Virgil Bakeson]

Really? In the Radio Shack too. Where are people buying their radio?

[Megan O'Neil]

Yes. You see, we all have a radio head. A what? It's a small antenna implanted in our skulls that plays a radio straight into our brains all day long.

[Peter McNerney]

Peter, what are you doing?

[Virgil Bakeson]

I don't know. I can't stop. Fascinating.

Uncle Dave's really bad chicken hut is gone too.

[Megan O'Neil]

Wow.

[Virgil Bakeson]

Can't believe it.

[Peter McNerney]

Wait, the selling point was that it was bad.

[Virgil Bakeson]

Yeah, really, really bad.

[Megan O'Neil]

Kind of makes me want to try it.

[Virgil Bakeson]

That was part of the charm.

[Rufus Poofenfloofer]

We didn't close. We just moved next door.

[Virgil Bakeson]

Oh, thank goodness. This town would not be the same without bad, Bad Dave's.

[Rufus Poofenfloofer]

Thanks, stranger. Welcome to town. Have a great day.

[Jack Mitchell]

Huh.

[Virgil Bakeson]

Strange. But it can't be.

[Peter McNerney]

What is it, Virgil?

[Virgil Bakeson]

Well, that fella at Dave's was the spitting image of Dave himself. But he was way too old to be the actual Dave. Oh, maybe it was his grandfather.

[Lee Overtree]

Hey, Virgil. Unrelated question, but have you looked into a mirror at any point during your trip?

[Virgil Bakeson]

Now that you mention it, I guess I really haven't been sleeping outside. And I'm famously afraid to look into very still lake. So, yeah, I guess I haven't seen my own self since 1994. Hey, that would be fun. Let's go find a mirror.

[Rufus Poofenfloofer]

No.

[Virgil Bakeson]

What?

[Megan O'Neil]

Why not?

[Lee Overtree]

Uh, because we are so close to your home, let's hand you off to your wife and run away. I mean, be on our way.

[Virgil Bakeson]

Okay, then. I'M so sorry to have kept you. My house is right around the corner. There it is.

[Megan O'Neil]

It's all boarded up.

[Virgil Bakeson]

What happened?

Note on the door. Dear Virgil. It's from my wife. Oh, no. She left me. I just know it. Why did you go on a long walk, Virgil? You selfish imbecile. This is all your fault.

[Peter McNerney]

Well, you don't know that. What does the rest of it say?

[Virgil Bakeson]

It says, in case you ever make it home, I'm leaving this. No. I'm sorry that I called your dream of walking around the world silly. I'm also sorry that I told you that you'd never make it. But most of all, I'm sorry I didn't go with you. So I've decided to come after you. I picked the opposite direction to hopefully get you on the other side of the globe. Because I can't stand being away from you one more day. See you soon, Virginia.

[Jack Mitchell]

Wow.

[Virgil Bakeson]

She came after me. She must have really missed me. Oh, Virginia, I'm so sorry I left. I'll come find you. But which way? Where are you?

[Megan O'Neil]

Virginia?

[Virginia]

I'm right here.

[Jack Mitchell]

Virginia.

[Virginia]

Yes. I just made it back from my own trip around the world.

[Virgil Bakeson]

Me, too. Which way did you go? I went west.

[Child Authors (Iris, William, Saren, Micah, Miranda)]

I went north.

[Megan O'Neil]

Ah, shoot.

[Virgil Bakeson]

I should have left a note. We must have just missed each other.

[Virginia]

Well, I certainly did miss you.

[Virgil Bakeson]

I missed you.

[Lee Overtree]

You look so old.

[Virgil Bakeson]

Yeah, didn't want to say, but you too. Guess a trip that long really does take its toll.

[Virginia]

Honestly, I sort of lost track of time. How long was I away? Like, two, three years?

[Peter McNerney]

Is it 1997?

[Virginia]

Don't tell me it's 1998.

[Lee Overtree]

Actually, it is.

[Virgil Bakeson]

It's 1998. I think we should ease her into the truth. I don't want to shock her all at once.

[Lee Overtree]

Great idea.

[Peter McNerney]

I'm not sure this is.

[Virgil Bakeson]

It'll be fine. Thank you for all your help. Story Pirates.

[Virginia]

Virgil, why are you all in a circle whispering like that?

[Virgil Bakeson]

Oh, nothing, darling. It's just a very popular thing to do here in the late 90s.

[Megan O'Neil]

Hmm.

[Virginia]

Weird.

[Megan O'Neil]

It's very weird. I still don't get it. Don't worry.

[Virgil Bakeson]

Let's go inside and I'll catch you up on everything you miss.

[Virginia]

So long as it's not the plot to the Lion King.

[Virgil Bakeson]

Don't worry, I haven't seen it. But we can draw it with grants.

[Virginia]

Fun.

[Jack Mitchell]

Hmm.

[Peter McNerney]

So do we call this a happy ending?

[Megan O'Neil]

I'm honestly not sure, Lee.

[Peter McNerney]

Should we get a taxi back to the ship to make up lost time?

[Lee Overtree]

You know what? Let's walk. What's the rush? Those two taught us anything. It's don't waste your life away.

[Peter McNerney]

Sometimes things are worth waiting for.

[Megan O'Neil]

Oh, maybe it's the thing Megan said. I don't know.

[Lee Overtree]

Either way, should we do another story while we walk?

[Jack Mitchell]

Yay.

[Lee Overtree]

Here's the author to introduce it.

[Child Authors (Iris, William, Saren, Micah, Miranda)]

Hi, I'm William. I'm 11 years old and I live in Texas. And this is my story, the Weird Inventor.

[Lee Overtree]

And that is my science fair presentation. Incredible. Thanks.

[Megan O'Neil]

All right, well, thank you so much, Jesse, for your wonderful presentation on black hole spaghettification. Yum. Now let's keep the science fair rolling along with our next student to the stage, it's Rufus Poofenfloofer.

[Rufus Poofenfloofer]

I'm here.

[Megan O'Neil]

Hello, Rufus. I'm sure we're all in store for another one of your wacky inventions. Take it away.

[Rufus Poofenfloofer]

Hello, entire school. Have you ever had a dirty roof that you didn't want to clean? Then you need this roofing spoof and bloofers. Loofah Ruther.

[Megan O'Neil]

Thank you, Rufus. We've seen enough.

[Rufus Poofenfloofer]

But I haven't even explained about the loofahs. Plus, I tampered with the sprinklers so they would go off for my demonstration.

[Megan O'Neil]

No, we don't need. Wait, what was that last part?

Loomis, this time you've gone too far. I hate to say it, but I can't imagine anybody buying any of your inventions. They're just too weird.

[Rufus Poofenfloofer]

Wow. I hope you know that this is a core memory for me now, but it's not going to discourage me. I'm going to double down on inventing, and one day, you're going to turn on your TV and see me, Rufus, Hoop and Fluther.

[Lee Overtree]

Tonight on we'll give you money for.

[Megan O'Neil]

Your ideas so we can make more money for ourselves. Entrepreneurs from across the country will have an opportunity to pitch their inventions to our esteemed panel of potential investors.

[Virgil Bakeson]

Let's meet them.

[Megan O'Neil]

First, say hello to Victoria James.

[Virginia]

I don't get out of bed for less than 10%. And I don't go to bed before.

[Lee Overtree]

10Pm Next, it's Maxime Dubois.

[Peter McNerney]

I have a nose for business and a weird obsession for obscure French history.

[Lee Overtree]

And finally, George.

[Megan O'Neil]

In business, I'm like an apex predator. I'm always thinking about my next meal, literally. Is it almost lunchtime?

[Virginia]

Not now, George.

[Megan O'Neil]

Sorry. If they like your idea, they might.

[Virgil Bakeson]

Just buy a steak in your business.

[Megan O'Neil]

How does that sound? Studio audience?

First up, a product that gives a whole new meaning to the phrase fast food.

[Rufus Poofenfloofer]

Hi, I'm Professor Poofin Fluthor, have you ever had a hamburger that you needed to get from point A to point B? And I understand what it's like to have your hamburger transportation frustratingly limited to how far you can throw it. Like this.

[Lee Overtree]

Aw.

[Rufus Poofenfloofer]

That's why I invented this Rufus Poof and Floofers Moo Moo Remover Burger launcher. You can say bon voyage to your Quarter Pounder.

[Megan O'Neil]

Let's head to our investors for questions and comments.

[Virginia]

I can't honestly say I've ever needed to throw a hamburger, but sandwiches? Does it launch sandwiches?

[Lee Overtree]

How about patty melts?

[Megan O'Neil]

Could we talk about making patty melts for lunch?

[Virginia]

Not now, George.

[Lee Overtree]

Sorry.

[Peter McNerney]

To me, that burger launcher looks a lot like a trebuchet. A French siege weapon popular from the 12th to 15th centuries, consisting of a wooden beam on a fulcrum with a weight on one end and a straight sling on the other.

[Rufus Poofenfloofer]

Look, I place the burger here, I pull this lever and.

[Megan O'Neil]

What a lovely day up here in space, orbiting the Earth. So peaceful. Houston, we have a problem. A burger just hit the ship and it didn't even have ketchup. What's going on down there?

[Rufus Poofenfloofer]

Sorry about the hamburger shaped hole in the ceiling. So who's in?

[Virginia]

We will unfortunately not be making an offer on your burger launcher.

[Peter McNerney]

It's just too weird.

[Megan O'Neil]

Better luck next time, Professor Poof and Floofer.

[Rufus Poofenfloofer]

Wait, I have other inventions. Have you ever been driving a car and thought, gee, I wish this car could go even faster? That's why I've invented Rufus Poofin Floofers, Vroomin Zoomers.

[Virginia]

That isn't a new invention. That's a compact car with rockets duct taped to the top of it.

[Peter McNerney]

Wee wee. You can't just slap a striped shirt on a clown and call him a mime.

[Megan O'Neil]

What can it launch? Patty melts.

[Rufus Poofenfloofer]

Not everything launches patty melts, George.

[Megan O'Neil]

Right, but seriously, I smell patty melts.

[Lee Overtree]

When is lunch?

[Virginia]

Listen, Poof and Floofer, there are a lot of cars out there promising to be fast. What makes this one different?

[Rufus Poofenfloofer]

Well, you simply push this button and.

[Virgil Bakeson]

That car is headed straight for the crowd.

[Lee Overtree]

Ramps. Ramps for sale.

[Virgil Bakeson]

That vehicle just drove up the ramp.

[Megan O'Neil]

And through the ceiling.

[Virginia]

What was all that with the ramps? Was that another person pitching their inventions?

[Lee Overtree]

Sorry, I'm just a humble traveling ramp salesperson who wandered into this television studio at an opportune moment. My work here is done.

[Rufus Poofenfloofer]

So who's in?

[Virginia]

Poof and Floofer, I'm afraid we're going to have to ask you to leave.

[Rufus Poofenfloofer]

Not yet. My next invention Is this an invisible wall? If I can just remember where I left it.

[Jack Mitchell]

Oops.

[Rufus Poofenfloofer]

It's tipping over.

[Virginia]

Your invisible ball just smashed our sack.

[Rufus Poofenfloofer]

My next invention, and you're going to love this one, is a device that blows up the nearest loaf of bread. But it's very practical.

[Lee Overtree]

See it?

[Virginia]

Poof. And flooper. You just blew up everything in this studio.

[Rufus Poofenfloofer]

That's not true. The exit sign still works.

Aw.

[Virginia]

We will not be investing in any of your inventions today. You couldn't pay me to pay you for these ideas. They're all too weird. Come on, everybody. Let's get this weird inventor out of here. After him.

[Rufus Poofenfloofer]

Run to the exit door to the back lot.

I can't believe I got chased off the set of we'll give you money for your ideas so we can make more money for ourselves. I want to bring joy and surprise to a world full of predictability. If that makes me weird, then so be it.

[Megan O'Neil]

Wow.

[Rufus Poofenfloofer]

Well said, Professor George, why were you in that dumpster?

[Megan O'Neil]

I was looking for patty melts. But I also heard everything you just said, and I want you to know I think your inventions are genius.

[Lee Overtree]

You do? Yes.

[Megan O'Neil]

And I'd like to make you an offer.

[Rufus Poofenfloofer]

I will buy a steak in my business.

[Lee Overtree]

Even better.

[Virgil Bakeson]

A steak for lunch.

[Rufus Poofenfloofer]

Oh. I'll take what I can get.

[Lee Overtree]

Good.

[Megan O'Neil]

The end.

And now, Lee speaks with the author.

[Lee Overtree]

William, you wrote the story of the weird inventor, right?

[Child Authors (Iris, William, Saren, Micah, Miranda)]

Yes.

[Lee Overtree]

How did you come up with the idea for that?

[Child Authors (Iris, William, Saren, Micah, Miranda)]

I'm always interested in, like, engineering, and I want to be an inventor when I grow up.

[Lee Overtree]

Can you explain for someone who doesn't know what an engineer is?

[Child Authors (Iris, William, Saren, Micah, Miranda)]

Well, there are lots of different kinds of engineers, but it's basically somebody who builds things or creates things.

[Lee Overtree]

Do you know what kind of engineer you want to be to, like, sort of help you be an inventor?

[Child Authors (Iris, William, Saren, Micah, Miranda)]

I think I want to be a mechanical engineer because those work the most with, like, machinery and gears and all that stuff.

[Lee Overtree]

How did you get into engineering?

[Child Authors (Iris, William, Saren, Micah, Miranda)]

I just love kind of sketching out ideas because I think most of the world's problems can be solved very simply.

[Lee Overtree]

What kind of problems are you thinking about when you say that?

[Child Authors (Iris, William, Saren, Micah, Miranda)]

The first thing that pops into my mind is, like, not clean water and a cheap filtration system. It could probably be created easily, but the real challenge is creating one that's cheap enough for everybody to use.

[Lee Overtree]

Let's say that all of a sudden you were on a TV show and you had to pitch the weirdest invention possible right now, off the top of your head, what invention would you pitch?

[Child Authors (Iris, William, Saren, Micah, Miranda)]

All restaurants sell double cheeseburgers, but what about a triple cheeseburger?

[Lee Overtree]

Now that is an invention that I think would be instantly popular.

[Child Authors (Iris, William, Saren, Micah, Miranda)]

Yes.

[Lee Overtree]

Okay. My made up invention, and I want you to give me some real feedback on this, is a robot that goes into stores and buys socks for you. But it only can buy socks. It's not programmed to do anything else. But it could, like drive a car or take the subway to the sock store, any sock store in the world to go and buy you socks. And then it brings the socks home to you. That's the only thing it can do. What do you think?

[Child Authors (Iris, William, Saren, Micah, Miranda)]

So I think this could be repurposed. Like if somebody needs a ride to the store and that store just happens to sell socks, they could just hitch a ride with the robot.

[Lee Overtree]

So I'm going to put you on the spot here. Will you invest in my sock delivering robot?

[Child Authors (Iris, William, Saren, Micah, Miranda)]

Maybe. But to make it final, I would probably have to talk to somebody else.

[Lee Overtree]

If you come on board right now and agree to invest before you talk to your team, I'll give you double the return that any other investor is going to get. What do you think?

[Child Authors (Iris, William, Saren, Micah, Miranda)]

No, thanks. I always like to talk with somebody first.

[Virgil Bakeson]

Shucks.

[Lee Overtree]

William, thank you so much for letting us perform your story.

[Child Authors (Iris, William, Saren, Micah, Miranda)]

Oh, thank you. Bye, bye, bye.

[Lee Overtree]

And when we come back, it's time for Story Love, where Peter and I read even more stories written by kids.

[Child Authors (Iris, William, Saren, Micah, Miranda)]

We'll be right back after a few words from the grownups.

[Lee Overtree]

Welcome back to Story Pirates. Story Love, where we take some of the tens of thousands of stories that we get every year, and we read them to each other and we talk about them and we discuss, we ask questions, we're inspired, we're moved. We're a lot of different things. Peter?

[Megan O'Neil]

Yes.

[Lee Overtree]

Welcome.

[Megan O'Neil]

Lee, welcome to you.

[Lee Overtree]

Thank you. Let's start with our first story. Why don't you read it for us, Peter?

[Megan O'Neil]

All right. This story comes to us from Saren, from Canada. And Saren's story is called the Problem.

Once upon a time, there was a girl. One day, the girl got really mad and then her problem showed up. The problem crashed through the house and out into the town that the girl lived in. It broke down every house that was in its way. Then everybody had to get on one tiny boat and sail to an island. The boat could only fit two people at a time, and everyone needed to get to the island because their houses were smashed. They tried to get four people into the boat, but the boat just sank. By the way, the four people were named Tom, Herbert, Jerry and Peter. The problem just built a castle in the middle of the town and lived there all by itself. The end. P.S. the girl who made the problem was a princess.

[Lee Overtree]

Incredible story, Saren. So I guess this is my big question. Is, is the problem a metaphor?

[Megan O'Neil]

The problem is an abstract concept.

[Lee Overtree]

Yes.

[Megan O'Neil]

Literalized.

[Lee Overtree]

Yes.

[Megan O'Neil]

Once upon a time, there was a girl. One day the girl got really mad and then her problem showed up. She's taking these difficult feelings and they're coming up and in an unconstructive way.

[Lee Overtree]

Right. Like, obviously, it's okay to be mad. We all get angry. We all get mad all the time. But sometimes when you get mad, you cause problems for yourself.

[Megan O'Neil]

Yeah. The very best thing to do when you're mad is to go for a walk, to breathe, to look at some trees. Yeah, I like to look up. Oh. When you walk around in life, you're here, here. But if you just take a second and look up, like we live in a city, you realize, like, there's incredible things. There's trees and buildings and details. And just let that information into your brain. And that's the quickest way for me to let the big feelings and then I can think about what happened and fix things.

[Lee Overtree]

Am I meditating right now? This is amazing. Peter, you're like a guru Saren. Incredible story. Thank you so much for sending that in. Here's our next one by Micah, a six year old in Virginia. And this story is called why Do I have a Rainbow Fist?

Well, I covered all the tacos with food coloring. Then I ate the tacos. At first my whole body was rainbow. But then the doctor tried to help me, but the medicine didn't push it out, but all to my fist. Or it could have happened like this. I could have been doing a science experiment where I was trying to bring a rainbow unicorn to life. But it was a potion and turned me into a unicorn. But I could have made it accidentally a rainbow potion. And when I drank, turned my whole body rainbow. Which led the doctor who was only able to push the rainbow to my fist.

[Megan O'Neil]

The end.

[Lee Overtree]

Okay.

[Megan O'Neil]

Oh, no, not the end.

[Lee Overtree]

There is a visual here.

[Megan O'Neil]

There's a sentence. You missed a sentence. Yes. It was only able to push the rainbow to my fist. The rainbow fist makes me stronger.

[Lee Overtree]

I didn't copy and paste that into my doc. I missed it.

[Megan O'Neil]

Oh, it's a whole new twist.

[Jack Mitchell]

Wow.

[Lee Overtree]

Interesting.

[Megan O'Neil]

It does make me wonder how this happened, much in the same way the story itself seems to be wondering.

[Lee Overtree]

Yeah, well, so do you think that the narrator of this story is just making up reasons. Are either these true or are they saying that even they don't know?

[Megan O'Neil]

It could be either. But what I thought of first was very much a child with this rainbow fist and a parent going, micah, what is on your hand? And he goes, oh, this is my rainbow fist. What is that? And then this is sort of the fun lie that you'd make up. Cause it's. There's different options.

[Lee Overtree]

Interesting. I think of it in a similar way. It feels like these stories are sort of like deflection from the truth.

[Megan O'Neil]

Yes.

[Lee Overtree]

Right. But I imagine that. That the owner of this rainbow fist is a kind of superhero and is like at a press conference, right? He's like, questions, questions, like, how did you get that rainbow fist?

[Megan O'Neil]

Tell us, is it true that reports have said that you are doing a science experiment?

[Lee Overtree]

Well, I covered all the tacos with food coloring. So that's my. That's my reason. Like, I don't think he is lying just to be duplicitous.

[Megan O'Neil]

I think there's two layers to this one. It seems to me that Micah, the author.

Made this rainbow fist and was inspired by it to write this story. And so it was Micah going, I wonder how this could be a thing.

[Lee Overtree]

Right?

[Megan O'Neil]

But in the story itself, you then get to imagine, well, what is the real story? It clearly works. Yeah. Incredible job, Micah.

[Lee Overtree]

All right, Peter, would you read us the final story?

[Megan O'Neil]

Yes, Lee. Our final story comes to us from a 7 year old from Illinois named Miranda. And Miranda's story is called How Bunnies Stay Cute.

[Lee Overtree]

I've been wondering.

[Megan O'Neil]

Everyone thinks that bunnies are just cute and fluffy. But have you wondered how bunnies stay cute and fluffy? It is very simple. Just 1200 steps for their noses and more for their bodies. All the products cost $1 million. They ask their butlers, who are hamsters, naturally, to give them the products. But the butlers need their butlers, who need their butlers, who need their butlers, who need their butlers, who need their butlers, who need their butlers, who need their butlers, who need to buy beauty products. So the eighth butlers rob a bank. Since the eighth butlers are fleas.

They make the cats and dogs who work at the bank itch.

Then they rob the bank and give the stolen money to their butlers, who give the money to their butlers, who give the money to their butlers, who give the money to their butlers, who give the money to their butlers, who give the money to their butlers, who give the money to their Butlers who give the money to their butlers who give the money to their butlers. Then the bunnies take the money and buy beauty products. The end.

[Lee Overtree]

Wow. I almost hit you because I thought you were skipping.

[Megan O'Neil]

No, I'm honoring the text.

[Lee Overtree]

Incredible. Incredible. Why do we need so many butlers?

[Megan O'Neil]

Why do we need any butlers?

[Lee Overtree]

Would you be able to use that many butlers in your life?

[Megan O'Neil]

Well, if I got a butler and I overworked them and they had too much to do, they might need help. And so they might choose to use their salary, which I assume is very generous, and to hire their own butler.

[Lee Overtree]

But they wouldn't complain. Butlers never do.

[Megan O'Neil]

Oh, not if they're a good butler.

[Lee Overtree]

That's right.

[Megan O'Neil]

What I loved and I hoped was true. And then the text confirmed this, which is that the bunnies are the bosses.

[Lee Overtree]

Yeah.

[Megan O'Neil]

And their butlers are hamsters. And the hamsters have butlers. And I was like, oh, is it a smaller thing?

[Lee Overtree]

They get smaller every time.

[Megan O'Neil]

And then the flea at the end.

[Lee Overtree]

Yes, Yes. I love the message of Miranda's story, that you shouldn't just assume that things come easily to people or bunnies. You know, like we look at a bunny and we say, that little bunny nose is the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life. But that bunny has to work so hard to stay that cute. And, you know, I think a similar thing about the way I look. You know, I work incredibly hard. I spend millions of dollars on my looks.

[Megan O'Neil]

I mean, you guys should see Lee before he puts in $10 million.

[Lee Overtree]

Yeah.

[Jack Mitchell]

Woo.

[Megan O'Neil]

Yeah.

[Lee Overtree]

You do not want to see me before I put my face on.

[Megan O'Neil]

That's like, I'm the opposite of you. As you know, every morning I have to spend thousands of dollars to make it worse. To look worse, I shave my head.

[Lee Overtree]

Yeah.

[Megan O'Neil]

Yeah. You know that like.

I look in the mirror and I say, don't. Don't be cool. Don't make sense.

[Lee Overtree]

You guys should see Peter before he makes himself look bad every morning.

[Megan O'Neil]

I was just too beautiful and nobody would really take me seriously. They just say yes to everything.

[Lee Overtree]

You do want to see him before he puts his face on.

Miranda. Incredible story. Thank you for sending it in. Thank you to everyone who sent us in Stories. To read all of today's story love stories, go to storyparts.com and guess what, Grown ups. You can find an even longer version of today's Story Love on YouTube. And Grown Ups. StoryLove isn't just the name of a segment on our show. It's also the name of our incredible corporate volunteer program. To find out more about StoryLove, our digital creative writing program, StoryQuest, or our nonprofit armed Story Pirates Change Makers, check out the show notes for links.

That's it for today's episode. Thanks to today's authors, Iris and William. And a huge thanks to all of you for joining us for season eight. And guess what? You can still send us all your stories and we respond to every single story we receive. Grown Ups. Your link to submit stories is in the show notes for today's episode. We'll be back next week with another new one. Until then, stay creative and stay kind.

[Jack Mitchell]

Bye.

[Lee Overtree]

The Story Pirates Podcast is a production of Story Pirates Studios, executive produced by Lee Overtree and Benjamin and Salka. This episode was produced by Sam Baer, Peter McNerney, Andrew Miller and Lee Ogletree. Recording, sound design and mixing by Sam Baer at the Relic Room in New York City. Additional production by Brett Toobin. Theme song by Bobby Lord. Musical scoring by Eric Erson and Jack Mitchell. Our head writer is Peter McNerney. Staff writers are Megan O' Neil and Alexis Simpson. Contributing writers are Lee Overtree and Lee Polis. Episode artwork by Camilla Franklin. Special guest Matt Oberg.

This episode features performances by liz bangs, andrew barbado, colin batten, langston darby, tara halpern, cassidy layton, vanessa magula, peter mcnerney, jack mitchell, joshua nassar, megan o', neill, lee overtree, julie julia schroeder and kristen studder. Bob's impossible pants was written by melissa gordon and produced by eric erson, with vocal arrangements and direction by jack mitchell.

These pants are impossible to get on. Just gotta squeeze into them.

There, got them on. Now to walk.

These are very comfortable.

[Virginia]

I swear.