Story Pirates Podcast – "Bob’s Impossible Pants/The Weird Inventor" (feat. Matt Oberg)

Release Date: December 4, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode of the Story Pirates Podcast delivers two wildly creative, kid-authored tales: "Bob’s Impossible Pants" (by Iris, age 10, Massachusetts) and "The Weird Inventor" (by William, age 11, Texas). Alongside these new stories, the crew welcomes actor and comedian Matt Oberg and explores themes of resilience, invention, facing challenges, and the joy of creativity. Throughout, the Story Pirates bring both stories and their child authors to life with signature sketch comedy, imaginative sound design, and insightful interviews.

Key Segments & Discussion Points

1. Road Trip Detour: Meeting Virgil Bakeson

[02:37–05:34]

• The Story Pirates (Lee, Megan, Peter, and friends) stop at “Old Baby Mountain Face,” stumble across a man stuck in a tree—Virgil Bakeson—adding a dose of absurdist humor to the show’s frame narrative.
• Virgil claims he’s been stuck “maybe an hour, a day… three weeks?”
  • “I’m not big on counting time… maybe an hour, a day? About three weeks?” – Virgil [05:17]
• The group helps Virgil, who hints at a grand adventure (walking around the globe).

2. Story #1: "Bob's Impossible Pants" by Iris

[06:05–10:40]

• Synopsis:
  • Bob, an ancient Egyptian (who, humorously, shouldn’t wear pants), falls prey to the allure of shiny disco sequin pants. He ignores the shopkeeper’s warning, puts on the “impossible” pants, and is cursed by the Wizard of Pants to live forever—until he can remove them. After centuries of trying, hobnobbing with history’s luminaries, and finally being freed by an expert, Bob vanishes the moment the pants come off, leaving behind a diary now in a museum.
• Song Interludes: The narrative is set to an infectious disco number, repeating: “Bob’s impossible pants! Pants! Bob’s impossible pants!”

Notable Moment

• The wizard’s proclamation:
  • "You've been cursed with impossible pants. You're gonna live forever, but please don't panic; when you finally get those pants off is when you gotta go." – Wizard [08:15]

3. Author Interview – Iris

[10:44–13:14]

• Iris describes the real-life struggle that inspired her story:
  • “I was getting ready for bed, and I was trying to take my pants off, and they were really tight. And so I said, ‘Ah, these are impossible pants.’ And my mom said, ‘That’s a good idea for a story!’” – Iris [10:50]
• On challenging her characters:
  • “I want to make a story where, yeah, they have to face some challenges... I feel like I want the character to be put through a situation where I can put myself through that situation.” – Iris [12:23]
• Lee congratulates Iris’s sophisticated storytelling:
  • “You sound like a really, like, mature, seasoned writer.” – Lee [13:02]

4. Virgil’s Saga: A Long Walk Home

[13:17–23:18]

• Virgil finally reveals he’s been walking the world on foot and is shocked to discover (with some help from the Pirates’ white lies) that the world—and his town—have aged without him.
• Running jokes about outdated technology and “1999” references (“Y2K,” Blockbuster Video, Radio Shack, Uncle Dave’s Really Bad Chicken Hut).
• An emotional reunion: Virgil’s wife, Virginia, also set off to find him, and they reunite after both circumnavigated the globe in opposite directions.
  • “She must have really missed me. Oh, Virginia, I’m so sorry I left!” – Virgil [21:53]

5. Story #2: "The Weird Inventor" by William

[23:47–31:02]

• Synopsis:
  • Rufus Poofenfloofer, consistently dismissed for his “weird inventions,” presents at the science fair. Years later, he appears on the show "We'll Give You Money For Your Ideas So We Can Make More Money For Ourselves," pitching increasingly outlandish inventions—such as a burger launcher and car with rockets.
  • Investors repeatedly reject his pitches (“It’s just too weird”), but Rufus persists, inspiring an eventual (hungry) backer who offers him, hilariously, an actual steak for lunch.
• Parody & Tribute: The segment affectionately spoofs reality business shows, complete with investors obsessed with French history, meal times, and patty melts.

Notable Quotes

• “To me, that burger launcher looks a lot like a trebuchet. A French siege weapon popular from the 12th to 15th centuries...” – Investor [27:01]
• “If that makes me weird, then so be it.” – Rufus Poofenfloofer [30:36]
• “I was looking for patty melts. But I also heard everything you just said, and I want you to know I think your inventions are genius.” – Investor, in a dumpster [30:40]

6. Author Interview – William

[31:10–33:47]

• William’s passion for invention and engineering shines:
  • “I’m always interested in, like, engineering, and I want to be an inventor when I grow up.” – William [31:15]
• Problem-solving approach:
  • “I think most of the world’s problems can be solved very simply.” – William [31:45]
• When asked to invent something on the spot:
  • “All restaurants sell double cheeseburgers, but what about a triple cheeseburger?” – William [32:22]
• Good-natured Shark Tank spoof: William wisely insists on consulting others before investing in Lee's proposed sock-buying robot.

7. Story Love Segment: Even More Kid Stories (with Discussion)

[34:05–43:30]

Saren's "The Problem" [34:29–35:33]

• A girl’s anger manifests as a literal “problem” that crushes her town, forcing people to escape. The pirates discuss metaphor and emotional processing.
  • “The problem is an abstract concept—literalized.” – Peter [35:41]
  • “Sometimes when you get mad, you cause problems for yourself.” – Lee [35:58]

Micah's "Why Do I Have a Rainbow Fist?" [36:42–37:59]

• A hilariously nonsensical origin story for a magical "rainbow fist."
  • “The rainbow fist makes me stronger.” – Micah [37:59]
• The pirates riff on the fanciful reasoning and childlike imagination behind the story.

Miranda's "How Bunnies Stay Cute" [39:57–42:30]

• Bunnies’ cuteness depends on a comically complex system of hamster butlers and flea bank robbers, all to fund beauty products cost $1 million a pop.
  • "They ask their butlers, who are hamsters, naturally..." – Miranda [40:15]
  • Pirates marvel at the absurd logic, escalating animal hierarchy, and the story’s ultimate message: “Don’t assume things come easy for anyone—or any bunny."

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Bob was looking round the store when he saw the perfect pants. Shiny disco pants with purple sequins.” – Narrator [06:50]
• “You’re gonna live forever, but please don’t panic...” – Wizard [08:15]
• “In stories, there’s always this huge disaster… but I want the character to be put through a situation where I can put myself through that situation and see how they would feel.” – Iris [12:23]
• “All restaurants sell double cheeseburgers, but what about a triple cheeseburger?” – William [32:22]
• “I want to bring joy and surprise to a world full of predictability. If that makes me weird, then so be it.” – Rufus Poofenfloofer [30:36]
• “The rainbow fist makes me stronger.” – Micah [37:59]
• “It is very simple. Just 1,200 steps for their noses, and more for their bodies. All the products cost $1 million.” – Miranda [40:10]

Tone & Style

• Witty, playful, irreverent: The hosts' comedic timing and willingness to run with every bizarre kid idea keeps the energy up.
• Supportive and inquisitive: The author interviews highlight empathy, curiosity, and a real respect for the children's imagination.
• Children's voices and points of view are always treated with seriousness, even (or especially) when stories are delightfully silly.

Segment Timestamps

| Segment | Timestamp | |-----------------------------------------|---------------| | Virgil’s Rescue & Welcome | 02:37–05:34 | | "Bob’s Impossible Pants" Story & Song | 06:05–10:40 | | Interview with Iris (Author) | 10:44–13:14 | | Virgil’s Journey & Reunion | 13:17–23:18 | | "The Weird Inventor" Story | 23:47–31:02 | | Interview with William (Author) | 31:10–33:47 | | Story Love: Saren’s "The Problem" | 34:29–35:33 | | Story Love: Micah’s "Rainbow Fist" | 36:42–37:59 | | Story Love: Miranda’s "How Bunnies Stay Cute" | 39:57–42:30 |

Takeaway

This episode of Story Pirates is a joyous celebration of kid creativity, blending outlandish comedy, clever songs, empathetic mentoring, and heartfelt encouragement. Whether it’s immortal sequin pants, burger trebuchets, or bank-robbing fleas, each story is treated as an imaginative springboard for both humor and meaningful conversation, offering listeners of all ages a reminder to embrace the weird, try new things, and always look for the story behind the story.