Muffin of Doom: The Greatest Game of Parkour Hide and Seek (feat. Koo Koo)

Summary

---

Story Pirates | “Muffin of Doom: The Greatest Game of Parkour Hide and Seek” (feat. Koo Koo)

Date: September 11, 2025
Podcast: Story Pirates
Episode Theme: An all-star, all-kid-written story adventure about spy games, parkour, and the infamous Muffin of Doom, followed by Roll Call with special guests Koo Koo, featuring hilarious and imaginative stories by young authors.

---

Episode Overview

In this energetic bonus episode, the Story Pirates team presents a comedy-packed, kid-collaborated story titled Muffin of Doom: The Greatest Game of Parkour Hide and Seek, crafted live in collaboration with over one hundred children from their Creator Club. The show then pivots to an extended “Roll Call” featuring kids’ submitted stories, dissected and celebrated with special musical guests Brian and Neil from Koo Koo.

---

Main Segment: Muffin of Doom - The Greatest Game of Parkour Hide and Seek

[Start: 02:07]

Key Story Points

• Spy Office Antics:
  Blip the Elephant (C) is bored and awaiting a mission in the spy office, trading quips with partner Baby, a 34-year-old Viking helmet-wearing Australian platypus (B).

  • Quote:
    “My name's Baby for the same reason I'm always wearing this Viking helmet. No reason, baby.” — Baby (B), [02:35]

• Mission Briefing with Style:
  Their boss, DJ (D), a stylish axolotl, announces a vital mission: winning the National Spy Championships in Espana (Spain) against arch rivals—the Evil Spy Corporation staffed by zombies, robots, and “more robots.”

  • Quote:
    “That's why the agency is called People of Operative Possib. Or for short, poop. Why does everyone laugh when I say that?” — DJ, [03:08]

• Gadgets and Muffins:
  Dumbo (B), an OK wiener dog and gadget guy, provides the “Muffin Ray of Doom”, a weapon that shoots hundreds of blinding muffins.

  • Quote:
    “That's a pretty intense muffin. You see, it shoots hundreds of tiny, blinding, bright muffins.” — Dumbo (B), [04:39]

• Championship Showdown:
  Announcement of the World Spy Championship (E): Blip and Baby vs. the Evil Spy Corporation.

  • Rules: Hiders get points for not being found, for visiting multiple locations, and for performing parkour.
    “Oh, and also extra points for doing parkour.” — Announcer (E), [06:05]

• Hide-and-Seek Escapades:
  Blip and Baby creatively hide in three locations:

  • A jungle gym
  • A coral reef (“Underwater parkour!”)
  • The Eiffel Tower in Paris (“Wow, these croissants are delicious.” — Baby (B), [07:05])

• Villain Rivalry and Robot Banter:
  Robots and “more robots” quibble endlessly over the definition of “more robots.”

  • Quote:
    “You don’t need to say more robots. It’s redundant.” — Baby (B), [05:33] “There is a distinction between robots. Don’t get me started, hypocrite.” — More Robots (B), [10:00]

• The Search for the Villains:
  The Poop team searches graveyards, the Tower of London, a swamp, a robot factory, the catacombs, fancy robot charging buildings, and ultimately a trash can at the end of the rainbow for the evil spies.

• Climactic Twist – King Mutt Revealed:
  The “Poop” team is awarded first place and surprised with a meeting with King Mutt—who reveals it was all a plot to lure him out and steal his power.

• Muffin Finale & Parkour Freeze Frame:
  Amidst robo-chaos, Blip deploys the Muffin of Doom, and Blip & Baby perform a victorious parkour freeze frame.

  • Quote:
    “Use the Muffin of Doom to defeat the evil spy corporation. Then do parkour into a freeze frame while awesome guitar music plays…” — Baby (B), [11:37]

[End: 12:03]

---

Roll Call: Celebrating Kid Creativity w/ Koo Koo

[Start: 13:46]

Guest Introduction

• Guests: Brian and Neil from Koo Koo join host Lee and Peter for story readings and light-hearted discussion about the wild worlds dreamt up by young storytellers.

Story 1: “Afternoon T-Rex” by Freya (Age 7, United Kingdom)

[14:37 – 16:31]

• A T-Rex obsessed with tea and sandwiches struggles with its tiny arms, until meeting another Afternoon T-Rex. Their arms stretch from spinning in a dance, letting them finally enjoy tea (though now they sometimes trip!).

• Quote:
  “It's inspiring. Sometimes you just got to meet the right person and your biggest problems in your life will be solved.” — Neil (H), [16:34]

• Panel Reactions:
  Discussion on T-Rexes with stretched, “dangly” arms and the possible invention of 3D-printed tea accessories.

  • Quote:
    “It's an interesting sort of version of the tiny arms joke. Right. Like, it's a nice spin on that.” — Lee (A), [16:47]

Story 2: “Submarines: An Origin Story” by Titus (Age 14, Canada)

[18:11 – 19:27]

• A pun-filled “history” of submarines, blending “sub” sandwiches, subplots, and Nebraskan farms, told by a goofy teacher, Mr. Albert, who just wants YouTube subscribers.

• Discussion:

  • On revisionist YouTube teachers:
    “He's making up alternate history.” — Lee (A), [20:34] “Irresponsible. Mr. Albert, it is very irresponsible, and I don't think it's appropriate for him to be doing that in class.” — Lee (A), [20:35]

  • Titus praised for “pro” link-sharing skills.

Story 3: “Attack of the Immortal Alien Cockroaches” by Lorelai (Age 8, Georgia)

[21:14 – 23:27]

• Narrated by a reluctant shoe, the story recounts how a poolside cockroach is sent to the moon by spaceship, survives thanks to immortality, and becomes an alien bent on revenge.

• Panel Reactions:

  • Conversation delves into cockroach survivability in space, and the tardigrade, the real tough microscopic survivor.

    • “Tardigrade. You know, A tardigrade? ... You can freeze them. You can take them to space and you can thaw them out. And they're the hardest things to kill.” — Peter (C), [23:53]

  • Praise for meta-story structure and self-aware narrators:
    “It's like a meta situation where it’s like someone. It's like a story about a story.” — Neil (H), [24:15]

---

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• Self-Referential Humor:
  “That's why the agency is called People of Operative Possib. Or for short, poop. Why does everyone laugh when I say that?” — DJ (D), [03:08]

• Villainous Robot Rivalry:
  “There is a distinction between robots. Don’t get me started, hypocrite. Say that to my face.” — More Robots (B), [10:00]

• Imagination and Problem-Solving:
  “Sometimes you just got to meet the right person and your biggest problems in your life will be solved.” — Neil/Koo Koo (H), [16:34]

• Outlandish Inventions:
  “That's a pretty intense muffin. You see, it shoots hundreds of tiny, blinding, bright muffins.” — Dumbo (B), [04:39]

• Meta-Storytelling:
  “That's true. Gentlemen, let's get on to our next story.” — Lee (A), [18:11]

---

Notable Segments/Timestamps

• [02:07] – Opening of “Muffin of Doom”
• [03:08] – Agency’s name joke (“POOP”)
• [04:39] – Introduction of the Muffin of Doom gadget
• [06:05] – Parkour Hide and Seek rules explained
• [07:05] – Hideout in the Eiffel Tower
• [11:37] – Use of the Muffin of Doom in the finale
• [13:46] – Start of Story Pirates Roll Call
• [14:37] – “Afternoon T-Rex” story
• [18:11] – “Submarines: An Origin Story”
• [21:14] – “Attack of the Immortal Alien Cockroaches”

---

Final Thoughts and Call to Action

• Community Engagement:
  Story Pirates invites kids to submit stories at storypirates.com. Grownups are encouraged to help their young storytellers participate in upcoming Creator Club Zooms, with another group story on the way.
• Tour Announcements:
  Koo Koo and Story Pirates will perform together in Missoula, MT (Oct 17) and Boise, ID (Oct 21).
• Creative Encouragement:
  “Until then, stay creative and stay kind.” — Lee (A), [26:32]

---

For More Stories and Fun

• Read the full stories and see longer Roll Call editions on the Story Pirates YouTube page.
• Submit stories at storypirates.com.

---

Transcript

[A]

Hey, Story Pirates podcast listeners. Lee here. Today we have a very special bonus episode for you featuring another new story that was written by not one, not two, but over a hundred different kids in our Creator Club. We also have a very special edition of Story Pirates Roll Call, featuring special guests Cuckoo. And it's all coming up right after a few words for the grown ups.

[B]

I love storytelling. I'm very different from everybody. Confusion is the step before curiosity. Okay, that's a really funny idea.

[A]

We have to send that in.

[B]

I just get some joy when I hear other people giggling. I believe all the things in my story. Human beings are just eight able to create the Zoe Pirates.

[A]

Okay, everybody, here's what's up. As you may know, every once in a while, we invite all our Creator Club members to join me and Peter on a Zoom to write a story together. Over 100 different kids from all over the world showed up. And together we wrote an incredible story about spies, hide and seek, parkour, zombies, robots, and a muffin of doom. And P.S. grown ups, we're doing this whole thing again on Zoom with me and Peter in October. And it's not too late to get your kids involved. We're gonna write a brand new story together and then adapt it for the podcast, just like in today's episode. Information on how to join us is in the episode description for today's episode. So grown ups, check it out and join us. And now, without further ado, we present to you a story by the Story Pirates Creator Club. Muffin of Doom. The greatest game of parkour. Hide and seek.

[C]

I'm so bored. Another day of sitting in the spy office with nothing to do for me. Blip the elephant, I guess.

[B]

Hey, Blip, who you talking to?

[C]

No one. I'm just really ready for another spy mission. I hate being cooped up at the office. What kind of mission do you think we'll have next?

[B]

Don't know. I just locked a guy with a float.

[C]

You certainly do, baby. By the way, I've never asked you this, but how come your name is baby? Baby? You're 34 and an Australian platypus.

[B]

My name's Baby for the same reason I'm always wearing this Viking helmet. No reason, baby.

[C]

All right, Baby, let's stop waiting around and just barge into our boss's office to ask for a mission.

[B]

Come on, Blip, Baby.

[C]

Hey, dj, Say, that's a great dress. Does it have elephants on it?

[D]

It sure does. Just cause I'm the spy boss and an axolotl doesn't mean I Can't have style. Aksh. Aksh.

[B]

Bless you.

[D]

Thanks, baby. Now enough messing around. I have a mission for you.

[C]

Finally.

[D]

As you know, this is the most highly respected spy agency in the world. And our people have to be ready at a moment's notice to operate within any possibilities. That's why the agency is called People of Operative Possib. Or for short, poop. Why does everyone laugh when I say that?

[C]

Sorry, continue.

[D]

Here at poop, we have a reputation to uphold. Which is why it's so important that we compete and win in this year's National Spy Championships in Espana. Of course, this year we're up against our arch rivals, the Evil Spy corporation. An agency so evil that they only employ zombies, robots and more robots.

[B]

I really hate those More robots.

[D]

We all do, baby. Which is why I'm sending you two to win in the ultimate spy game, Hide and Seek.

[B]

You're sending an elephant to play hide and seek?

[C]

Watch yourself, baby. I'm great at hide and seek. Dj we won't let you down. Those zombies, robots and more robots won't be able to find us.

[D]

They better not. Now, before you head to Spain, Dumbo's here from the Gadget department.

[B]

Hello, Agent Blip. Agent Baby.

[C]

How's it going, Dumbo?

[B]

Great. Not only am I okay, Wiener Dog and Huge, but I'm also the gadget guy.

[C]

Yes, we know. What do you have for us?

[B]

I have this.

[C]

Ooh, a muffin. Yummy.

[B]

No, don't eat that. Huh?

[C]

That's no ordinary muffin.

[B]

That's the Muffin Ray of Doom. That's a pretty intense 9. It's a pretty intense muffin. You see, it shoots hundreds of tiny, blinding, bright muffins.

[C]

Not sure when we'll need that to play hide and seek, but we'll take it with us. Do you have something to carry it in? No. Alright then. Thanks. Come on, baby. To Spain.

[E]

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen and animals and spies to the World Spy Championship's final event, Hide and Seek. In this corner, we have Blip and Baby from the People of Operative Possibilities. Or POOP for short.

[C]

Hola, Espana.

[E]

And in the other corner, POOP will be competing against their arch rivals, the Evil Spy corporation.

[C]

We are zombies and robots and more robots.

[B]

You don't need to say more robots. It's redundant. Strong. Disagree. There's a clear distinction between the robots and the. More robots. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Yes. Oh, what are you gonna do about it? Slap, slap. Stop hitting yourself.

[E]

Quiet, robots.

[B]

Sorry.

[E]

It's time to hide and seek. Here are the rules. If the hiders aren't found in the allotted amount of time. They get points. They also get points if they can travel to multiple places and not be found. Oh, and also extra points for doing parkour.

[B]

I love parkour.

[E]

Any questions?

[C]

Yes, several actually. How does great poop.

[E]

You're hiding first. You have a 20 minute head start.

[C]

Go Lip.

[B]

Where should we go?

[C]

I know the perfect three places to hide. Let's go baby. Parkour. Parkour. Parkour. Here we are in a place that zombies, robots and more robots would never think to find us. A jungle gym.

[B]

Not sure about that logic, but it seems to have worked. No one's around. Shall we go to the second place?

[C]

Let's go baby. Parkour. Parkour on the monkey box. Parkour down the slide. Here we are at the second place. A place that no robot would look for us. A coral reef.

[B]

Beautiful, I might add.

[C]

Shall we go to the third and final place?

[B]

Let's go.

[C]

Parkour. Underwater parkour. Underwater parkour.

[B]

We're just swimming.

[C]

Really Swim. Swim core. Swim core. Here we are in the final place, the Eiffel Tower.

[B]

Wow, these croissants are delicious. Hey, Blip, can we stay here forever?

[C]

No, baby. We have to return to Espana.

[B]

Oh rats.

[C]

Lets go.

[E]

Time's up. And the evil spies fail to find poop. Also, Blip and Baby manage to hide in three different places while doing a ton of very cool parkour. They get a whole bunch of points.

[C]

Aw man. They made us look like fools out there.

[B]

Don't worry, we robots can out hide them all. Us more robots too. That's. Don't tell me what I meant. I'll tell you what you meant. Get up. Programming is faulty. Are you fronting is faulty? Don't laugh. I'll bring it. Ow. Ow. Leave me alone. If I could fail, I would hurt robots.

[C]

Quit it.

[B]

Sorry.

[E]

It's your time to hide in 3, 2, 1.

[C]

Come on, let's go.

[B]

Follow me. This way. This isn't over. Your GPS is faulty. I can't hear you.

[C]

All right.

[E]

Poop in 20 minutes. You get to give chase.

[C]

And I know just where to look to find a zombie.

[B]

Where?

[C]

We're going to the graveyard.

[B]

Here we are at the graveyard. But they're not here, Blip. Only a bunch of skeletons.

[C]

Oh, would you like to hear some music? I can play my ribs like a marimba. Ooh, yeah. Listen. Oh yeah, Marimba. Uh, no thanks, Skeleton. Oh man.

[B]

Where to now, Blip?

[C]

The Tower of London.

[B]

It's creepy in here. But still no zombies.

[C]

Let's try a stinky Swamp.

[B]

This place is stinky. And there's no zombies.

[C]

Maybe we should try where a robot might go. Let's go to a robot factory.

[D]

Hi, and welcome to the robot factory.

[C]

Do you have any robots?

[D]

All sold out.

[C]

Rats. Let's go to the catacombs.

[B]

The what?

[C]

There's no one here. Except ma. Skeletons. A five, six, seven, eight. Ooh, yeah. No, no, no, no. Stop it. Stop it.

[B]

Aw.

[C]

Let's go to the fancy robot charging building.

[B]

Can't believe it, Blip. There's not a single robot even here. Are we about to lose to the evil spy corporation?

[C]

Not if I have anything to do with it, baby. Where is the very last place you would expect to find zombies, robots, and more robots?

[B]

I dunno, maybe a at a trash can at the end of the rainbow.

[C]

That's it, baby. Follow me. Hey, you guys are taking up too much space behind this trash can. If they manage to find the end of the rainbow here, they will see my rotting limbs sticking out.

[B]

It's not my fault. It's the more robots. Oh, now that there's someone to blame. There is a distinction between robots. Don't get me started, hypocrite. Say that to my face.

[C]

Robots, quit your fighting because you've been found. Oh, man, they found us.

[E]

That's right. Which means the winner of the 2025 World Spy Championship is.

[B]

Pop.

[E]

Oh, sorry, I misread that.

[C]

Poop. We did it. We finally defeated the evil spy corporation.

[D]

You sure did, boss.

[C]

What are you doing here?

[D]

I'm here to present this year's first place prize. Blip Baby. On behalf of all the spies of the world, we present you with this. A meeting with King Mutt.

[C]

That's right. It's me, King Mutt.

[B]

Wow, I can't believe we're meeting the King Mutt.

[C]

And I rarely make public appearances. Which is why losing this competition was all part of our plan. What? We only competed to bring King Mutt out of hiding so we could steal his power. Oh, no. It's a foolproof plan. Robots, capture him.

[B]

Okay. No, he meant us. They were talking to me. Oh, really? You want other robots? Sure. I'm gonna slap slap. Quickly, while they're distracted. Do something.

[C]

But all I have in my pocket is this Muffin of Doom. Are you thinking what I'm thinking, baby?

[B]

Use the Muffin of Doom to defeat the evil spy corporation. Then do parkour into a freeze frame while awesome guitar music plays for a couple of seconds before we unfreeze and both scream. The end.

[C]

I was thinking literally all of that Muffin of Doom. Hardcore Freeze frame.

[B]

The end. We'll be right back after a few words for the grownups.

[F]

This podcast you're listening to, it was once just a dream. A dream that became reality not by accident, but because someone decided not to let the what ifs keep them from creating something they believed in. Starting your own business is a dream lots of us share, but too many let it remain just a dream. Don't hold yourself back from creating what you believe in and turn those what ifs into why nots with Shopify by your side. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all e commerce in the US from household names like Mattel and Gymshark to brands just getting started. What if I can't design a website? Shopify's got you with beautiful ready to go templates to match your brand's style. What if I need a hand? Get help with everyday tasks like enhancing product images, writing product descriptions, or generating discount codes with Shopify's AI tools created for commerce. What if people haven't heard about my brand? Shopify helps you find your customers with easy to run email and social media campaigns. And what if I get stuck? Shopify is always around to share advice with their award winning 24. 7 customer support. So turn those dreams into and give them the best shot at success with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com realm. Go to shopify.com realm shopify.com realm.

[A]

And now it's time for Story Pirates Roll Call. Welcome back to Story Pirates Roll Call where we read stories written by kids and then talk about them. And you know, we're inspired by them, we're awed by them, we dissect them maybe a little bit. Peter is here.

[C]

Yes, I do.

[A]

As well as our incredible special guest today who the Story Pirates are going on tour with this October. Please welcome Brian and Neil from Cuckoo. What's up, guys?

[G]

A two day tour.

[A]

Wow. Two day tour.

[H]

Y' all are doing a lot more shows, but we're just jumping on for two of them. A little sampler.

[A]

All right, let's get into the first story. This first story is by a seven year old in the United Kingdom named Freya. And Freya's story is called the Afternoon T Rex. T Rex spelled T E A T Rex. Like that. You drink?

[G]

Of course. I got it.

[A]

Yeah, you get it. Okay. You guys have had tea before. You know it. You ever heard of it?

[G]

Yeah, we've. We've had. We've had a spit out liquid before.

[C]

Yeah, we've had tea once.

[A]

There was a dinosaur that was a type of dinosaur called an afternoon T. Rex. It was kind of like a T. Rex, but it ate afternoon tea every day and it was obsessed with tea. He had a hat that was in the shape of a teacup. The only problem was because his arms were so tiny, it was really hard for him to actually drink tea from a teacup, which made him very sad. He was always spilling tea and. And he couldn't reach his mouth with the little sandwiches. He usually just ate with his mouth straight off the table. Then one day when he was just walking along sadly, he saw another afternoon T. Rex. She looked just like him, but bigger and with a teapot hat. Hello, he said. Hello. Said the other afternoon T. Rex. They started talking and realized that they both spilled tea every day and sometimes couldn't even put the little sandwiches in their mouths. All because of their tiny arms. The first afternoon T. Rex asked the other one to dance. They got to a part where they were spinning around holding claws. And they loved spinning around. So they kept spinning and spinning and spinning until their arms stretched. What now? They could drink tea from their teacups and put as many little sandwiches in their mouths as they wanted. They were so happy. The only problem was now with their long arms they sometimes tripped over, but they thought it was worth it for all the tea. The end.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

It's like a rom com. It's gorgeous.

[H]

Yeah, it's inspiring. Sometimes you just got to meet the right person and your biggest problems in your life will be solved.

[C]

I just can't get the image out of my head of two T. Rexes with super long, like dangly arms that they trip over. Yeah.

[A]

It's an interesting sort of version of the tiny arms joke. Right. Like, it's a nice spin on that.

[G]

I was thinking, I was thinking it's either going to be stretchy. I was like, this is either going to be stretchy arms or they're going to 3D print an insane cup that like goes up to their mouth. And then it's this whole new craft fair business of like T. Rex 3D printing, which still could happen in the sequel.

[H]

That's where my mind was going too. It was more of like a cyborg situation though. I thought they were going to acquire, yeah. Some sort of attachment to be able to have longer arms and drink the tea or some sort of beverage device, you know, that attached to the beverage and allowed them to drink it in a Different way. But we got the body modification one way or the other.

[G]

Do you guys think the arms are stretched out at the forearm or from elbow to shoulder stretch?

[A]

I guess I imagine it was, yeah. It was an equitable stretch.

[C]

It was a uniform pull.

[A]

Yeah.

[G]

Now Freya, had you started off with tea, but the actual best part about this story is sandwiches. Because that's what's really important here, right? It's like a little sandwich, like. Cause this could be savory, it could be sweet, like, could be like a little, you know, strawberry cream sandwich, a little crumpet. I want biscuits, I want all that stuff. I want crackers, little cookies, I want it all.

[C]

Freya's from the uk.

[A]

That's true.

[C]

Freya knows her afternoon tea treats and their little sandwiches.

[A]

That's true. Gentlemen, let's get on to our next story. I was wondering, Neil, would you read this next story for us? It's by 14 year old Titus in Canada and it's called Submarines An Origin Story. Would you read it for us?

[H]

I would love to. Thank you Titus for sending this one in. Submarines An Origin Story. Hello and welcome to history class. I'm Mr. Albert and today I'll be teaching you the history of not so subtle submarines. Let's begin. Submarines were invented during the world sub Sandwich war when subcontractors subleased several subplots of land that were subdivided in Nebraska. Submarines were supposed to dig through sub soils under the Nebraskan farmland, but failed. So they were moved to Nebraska's only tiny pond after that. Well, you know the rest. If you want a more detailed explanation of submarine history, go watch my video on my YouTube channel subsidiary subways under Sudsbury. Any questions? Yes sir, I have a lot of questions. My first one is ding.

[A]

Saved by the bell. The end. Amazing story. Brian, any thoughts?

[G]

I thought Neil was actually like just saying like I have a question about this story.

[A]

And then I went ding. That's the sign of a good actor is you thought he was coming out of the story but he was actually so deep in character.

[G]

Yeah, I'm trying to think how many usages of sub is in there. It's like five different usages of sub in the different, you know, subterranean.

[A]

Okay, so I do have a question about this story. Saved by the Bell, it says at the end. Does this mean that Mr. Albert made all this up in the world of the story?

[C]

Oh yeah, yeah.

[A]

I believe that Mr. Albert has realized we've entered a new era where you can't ignore YouTube if you want to have a business. If you want to make money and make a living. And so he's trying to increase his YouTube subscribers by making up wild stories in class and then pointing his kids in his class to his YouTube channel so that they'll go and subscribe thinking they'll hear something wild and crazy.

[C]

So he's a YouTube conspiracy theorist?

[A]

Well, yes, I guess so. He's making up alternate history.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

He's a revisionist history. Irresponsible. Mr. Albert, it is very irresponsible, and I don't think it's appropriate for him to be doing that in class.

[G]

But at least Titus in writing the story like he's a real pro. When he shared the link for his YouTube, he went into the settings and got the shareable link and didn't do the main one on the bottom that has the dot shared file. So, like, you know, Titus is grinding. You know, he's working hard. Same with Albert. They could have bitly linked it. They could have tiny URL'd it.

[A]

All right, we have one more story to go here. Peter, would you do us the honor of reading this for us?

[C]

I would love to. Our final story comes to us today from an eight year old from Georgia named Lorelai. And Lorelai's story is called Attack of the Immortal Alien Cockroaches. I am a shoe. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am a shoe. I have a great tale to tell you. Dramatic pause. It is the origin story of aliens. Crowd huh. Weird talking shoe. Basically, how aliens came to be. Oh. NARRATOR Once upon a time, Josephine and Emmy were playing in the pool when they saw a cockroach. When Josephine scooped it up with a reusable water balloon and put it on the side of the pool, it moved. Ah. They both screamed, and Emmy ran away screaming. Emmy climbed a tree and the cockroach followed. I, the narrator, also ran away screaming. Anyway, back to the story. Emmy luckily had a parachute in her swimsuit. The cockroach did too. Cockroach, I got you now. After Emmy got to the ground, she ran to her house and jumped acrobatically to her deck. And then the cockroach pulled out of umbrella and a fan and flew up to the deck. She went to get her mom, who apparently builds spaceships, and they sent the cockroach off to the moon. Cockroach. I will be back for revenge one day. You'll see. Dramatic Spaceship, spaceship, blast off. They sent him up without a spacesuit, thinking he would die. But the cockroach had a secret. He was immortal. And so eventually, he became an alien cockroach. And went to crop farms to get revenge. And that's the story of how aliens came to be. The end narrator. I'm just a narrator who is hired by the weird shoe. Weird talking shoe. Hey, narrator. I got hired. I did not want to do this. The end.

[A]

Really unprofessional of the narrator to just lay it out like that at the end of the story.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I guess what he's doing really is preparing for a future where the cockroaches are ruling us.

[G]

Can cockroaches live on the moon actually with no oxygen? I can't remember. I know they can live in insane environments and stuff like that.

[C]

They cannot. But you know what can they cannot. Is a tardigrade. You know, A tardigrade?

[G]

Oh yeah.

[C]

Tardigrade.

[B]

Yeah.

[G]

Those tiny microscopic entities or living. They look like they're more than one cell.

[B]

Right.

[C]

They look like little bears, but they're the smallest little thing. And you can freeze them. You can take them to space and you can thaw them out. And they're the hardest things to kill.

[A]

Tartar grade.

[C]

Yeah.

[G]

They're a microscopic like being.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

They got legs. They're cute.

[A]

That's cool.

[H]

Something I liked about this story is that it's like a meta situation where it's like someone. It's like a story about a story. Is that a common in the story pirates universe or the submissions you get?

[A]

It's fairly common. We've talked about this before. Narrators are often self aware. Yeah. And emboldened in a way that makes them behave in questionable ways.

[C]

This has another layer to it more than normal. Which is the weird talking shoe. Which is the backstory we have not explored. Is the one who hired the narrator and needed to tell this story.

[G]

Talking shoe did not really want the adorable public that's listening to the story to know that the mod makes the spaceship. It was like real like.

[A]

Oh, right.

[G]

Just slid it in there.

[A]

You know, guys, it has been so wonderful to have you here. Cuckoo is touring basically everywhere all the time. So go. Where can they find you guys online?

[G]

Well, there's this thing called the Internet and you type in her name and you hope you find it.

[A]

You'll find it. And if you want to see Cuckoo Pizza. Yeah.

[H]

That's our website.

[C]

That is the best website that I've ever heard of. All right.

[A]

And if you want to see Cuckoo with the story Pirates Live in October. We're going to be performing with them in Missoula, Montana, October 17th. Travel to see it. We are also going to be in Boise Idaho with Cuckoo on October 21st. And to read all of today's stories, just go to storypirates.com and remember, you can watch an even longer version of Roll Call on the Story Pirates YouTube page with help from your grown up. Now it's time for you to write us a story. Grown ups can submit [e-mail] and remember, we respond to every single story we receive.

[C]

That was roll call.

[A]

That's it for today's episode. Grown ups, don't forget to check the show notes for today's episode to find out how your kids can join us for our next Create a story session in October. We'll be back next week with more new stories. Until then, stay creative and stay kind.

[C]

Bye.

[A]

The Story Pirates podcast is a production of Story Pirates Studios, executive produced by Lee Overtree and Benjamin Salka. This episode was produced by Sam Baer, Peter McNerney, Andrew Miller, and Lee Overtree. Recording sound design and mixing by Sam Baer at the Relic Room in New York City. Theme song by Bobby Lord Roll Call theme by Andrew Barbado. Musical scoring by Jack Mitchell. Episode artwork by Camilla Frank. This episode features performances by Alec Brown, Christina Grossbeach, Hallie Haas, Tara Halpern, Nehemiah Marcos, Peter McNerney, Lee Overtree, and Harry Wood.

[B]

Hey, robots. I'm upset that we were defeated. And I blame you. What are you gonna do about it? I'll slap fight all day. Get in here. Stop. What do you got? Stop it. Come here. Get your metal robot hands out of my space. Oh, I'll show you space. Respect my boundaries. Boundaries. Oh, y. Take this. I'll get you. I'll get you. Hey, what's that on your robot shirt? Where?

[C]

Doink.

[B]

Oh, got you. My nose. My robot nose. Look over there. What's where. Ha ha. Oh, you got me. You looked foolish. I'll give you robot. Robot noogie. Robot noogie. I'll give you robot wedgie. Joke on you. It doesn't work. Don't wear underwear. Shoot. I'll give you robot wet willy. Actually, that's not safe. I'll get you water. And robots don't mix. More robot. Are you okay? Nothing to see here. I'm slowly walking away. Everything's fine. I'm so sorry.